The G-Code was put in place for men and women to have some sort of code of ethics when it comes to sex, dating and relationships. I’ll give you a perfect example of the G Code and how it differs by gender:
Me: If you were out and you saw your home girl’s man out on a date with another girl, would you say anything?
Mary: I would pick up the phone and call her as soon as I saw his trifling ass.
Me: If you were out and you saw your home boy’s girl out on a date with another guy, would you say anything?
Chuck: Naw man, must adhere to the G Code. Rule 5-2.1 – A man must only be caught cheating by natural causes. And the person catching should be the person he is cheating on.
Now what you have these days is a guy who continuously leans on the G Code to a point where it’s egregious and tacky. Let me tell you some situations that really bother your fellow wingmen. Here are the Ten Commandments of G.
- If my Misses and your Misses are close and you get caught cheating and the Misses even remotely believes I knew about it, that’s my ass, please be mindful.
- Calls and texts at 3AM to tell us “where you are” in case your girlfriend asks should be kept to a minimum.
- Do not make me aide and abide in your escapades. No I will not look her up on Facebook or MySpace.
- Never throw another man under the bus to save your own ass. Ain’t no “baby the reason why I only got 7 condoms when you bought a 12 pack is because Dr. J asked could he use five to smash some chick the other night.”
- If you make me play wingman for your escapades, I expect free drinks.
- When you get caught, you are only allowed 24 hours of shelter before I kick you out too.
- I am not responsible for keeping up with your many aliases or the names of your random chicks.
- Keep your hoes in line. I will not accept, “How Come He Don’t Love Me?” phone calls or conversations on the other side of the club.
- I will slap you in the head if you start talking about making your mistress, your wifey.
- If you Plaxico yourself, I will deny I even know you. If you are going to take a fall, don’t bring others down with you.
Violation of these rules will result in fines, suspension, probation and even the death penalty. The Death Penalty: If a 5/6 of the fellas vote of approval is obtained we can and will leave you assed out as it pertains to protection. Truth be told many a men have had to lean on the G Code before. They’ve asked me, *innocent smile*, to keep their location a secret while they went spelunking on Spring Break with the fellas. I’ve had more of my boys “spend the night on my couch” than I should be able to admit. Am I lying about it? Do you think these commandments are all inclusive or am I missing some? Ladies, don’t get it twisted… you know that 9 out of 10 of these commandments are unisex.
– Dr. J