Home Rantings Don’t judge me!

Don’t judge me!

21

One of my favorite sayings growing up was “Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones”. I think this is one of the realest sayings ever, because we do it on a regular basis. As a society, we judge quickly, although we may have similar or greater flaws than “the accused”. While I believe we all deserve our opinion, we should show restraint, get all the facts, and show temperament before drawing conclusions. This was evident in the Hofstra case where 5 men were falsely accused of raping a young lady. A lot of people branded these men guilty. Their home addresses were published to the world. Their families threatened. Jobs lost. Expelled from school. They were placed in P.C. with the general population of inmates, who “knew what they did” and dudes in jail don’t take kindly to rapists. Once they were exonerated (thank God for video phones), it was like the public collectively said ‘my bad” and kept it moving. Yet their reputations and privacy were put on blast, and reputation takes time to recover. It sucks that we will jump to conclusions like this, but unfortunately that’s what us humans do.

Forgiveness?

As you saw with the homie RCLS’s post, people find it difficult to forgive and forget actions. I feel that I can forgive 90% of the actions committed against me (save for extreme cases), however forgetting is another issue. If you betrayed my trust or did something foul, it’s easy to straight forgive, but I won’t be the fool to trust you the same way and get burned again. I’ve had fights with frat brothers, cousins, homies, and have reconciled eventually. I wouldn’t forget what happened, but I would be over it. To constantly be affected and harp on another person’s mistake shows that you will be stuck in the past, while others move on with their lives. I definitely held a grudge or two in my day, but I learned to live and let live.



Hypocrisy
We blog, comment, and speak to our friends about the things people do, yet we do the same things! You say the woman who goes back to her ex is dumb, yet you still deal with your ex. Paying for the p*ssy is corny, but you tell chicks to just throw it in the bag so you can hit. Crack is whack but weed is all you need. This do as I say and not as I do mentality takes away from real talk and makes us judge others with clouded sight. I find this challenging, especially commenting or talking about topics that I know pertain to me. All I can do is be me, keep it real, and state opinion. I try hard not to judge, and try to express sincere views.

What if it was you?

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I’ve learned through my 21 years on this Earth #theswindle that to be Human is to be imperfect. We all make mistakes, no matter the magnitude. It pisses me off seeing people vilify Chris Breezy after he took his punishment, apologized, and serves the term of his punishment. I understand that he is a public figure and therefore is subject to any amount of jokes, ridicule, or commentary from anyone. However, it makes me sick seeing some talk show hosts and everyday people still equate every facet of his life to the “well he’s a woman beater so…” mentality. You see him smile during his community service and say “He doesn’t take his sentence seriously, he should’ve gone to jail”. Well, I can tell you that there’s some things that I hated doing or times I got punished ad had to laugh while “carrying out my sentence” as a way to motivate myself, lighten the mood, and just to get by (No Talib Kweli) You hear he released new music, and you dismiss it before the mp3 uploads to zshare! I think many of these people are the same individuals who would demand or expect people to forgive them for their mistakes. What if it was you? Would you figure no one would forgive you and fight tooth and nail to earn back 100% trust, or would you move on with your life and atone for your sins the best way you know possible. We all have mistakes we wish we could take back, and people in our lives that we hurt and from whom we want forgiveness. We should remember this when we so easily tear down others who make the same mistake. To be clear, I don’t condone Breezy’s actions one bit and think hitting women is wrong. Hell, some of you talk about wanting to be choked during sex, and I’m 100% GOOD on that! “Punch me in the face Streetz I love it!” You crazy?! My point is, that at some point, you have to let it go and stop stressing the situation.

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So what’s the verdict? Is it human nature to judge? Can we control it? Is it valid? Somebody let me know what these b*tches want from a nukka

Peace
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Comment(21)

  1. To err is human…but is that a crutch that we use to avoid trying to do better?

    And sometimes it's hard for us to forgive ourselves…thus making it impossible to forgive others.

  2. "Know better, do better" is good in theory and it makes lots of sense…until you are put in a pressure filled situation. It's always easier looking from the outside in because your feeling and thoughts are not involved.

    Forgiveness is hard for us because in many cases we feel like we need justice to correct the wrong that has been done and many times we don't get it and the check and balances are out of whack.

    We judge (in a loose sense)every single day…whether we think someone is handsome/beautiful, whether we think that outfit looks good on her that proceeds a compliment. It's human nature. Where it becomes detrimental is when you judge a person's choices.

  3. It has to be a way of humans to judge… but that doesn't mean we should. Even the good book says "Judge not, lest ye be judged." I personally find it easy not to judge people by concentrating on me — being clear about who I am, the mistakes I've made, the mistakes I'm still making and the ones I'm bound to make. So many people think so highly of themselves all they can see is what others around them are doing. If you stay focused on you… you won't have time or the right to judge others. And yes you can control it… I think I've done a pretty good job & not to mention that it wouldn't be in good book if you couldn't.

    And though I agree w/ Smiley Face on the fact that we "judge" every day — rather someone is handsome/cute, etc… I wouldn't use the word judge in that sense. That to me is forming an opinion of my own which to me a tad bit different… yes an opinion must be formed in order to judge BUT you can form an opinion without judging.

  4. Don't think there's anything wrong with judging. It's both A) necessary to live life in any kind of way and B) impossible not to. The only time judging becomes a problem is when people expect others to live by whatever judgment you pass. Talk shit about the other side if you want, but at the end of the day– live and let live.

    1. But if we don't expect others to take note of our judgment, then why do we judge? Are we just talking just to hear ourselves speak? I would certainly hope not.

      IMHO, we judge because…

      a) we see behavior in others we do not approve of

      b) we want those to follow a better example (which is ours, more often than not)

      Judging becomes a problem when you don't practice what you preach. Those that don't follow this age-old mantra, thought, manage to keep their glass houses shatter-free by usually say something along the lines of, "Who am I to _ _ _ _ _?"

      I'll let you fill in the blanks.

  5. Forgiving can be hard, especially if that is not your nature. I’m a forgiving person, but I had a friend recently cost me a lot of money (by a lot, I mean four figures). I eventually forgave him, but I will never forget.

    Regarding the Hofstra case, it is outlandish that the woman isn’t in jail right now. Any woman that falsely accuses a man of rape should face the exact same punishment the man would have received if convicted.

  6. I think everyone judges and makes assumptions based on what they see and hear. Everyone does it casually or does it in a professional environment.

    To say that you don't do it, is you not being real with yourself. I think it is part of our human nature. And I believe it happens in all countries. I think if we go overseas, that other countries already have a preconceived notion about us because we are American.

    1. I think its better to say that we don't want to judge for judging sake, but it is human nature to judge. Especially if you have a certain moral belief that someone breaks, or a clash in fundamental differences. Sometimes we can judge I just hate the people who do it for a living.

  7. wait a minute? you ain't 21. are you?

    i judge people often. its a part of who i am. most times i keep my opinion to myself though, because i think some harsh thoughts.

  8. Great post. Can't too much argue with you on this one at all. I agree 100%. I think we all tend to judge at times, but like Tunde said I do keep most of my opinions to myself if I know they are mean or harsh. Sometimes we judge without realizing we do. When I realize i'm doing it, I try to put myself in check. Because I know how it is for someone to judge the things i've done or THINK i've done and how that can hurt. At the end of the day, you can have an opinion all you want (they're like a$$holes, everyone has one) but until you've walked in someone else's shoes, I would pretty much keep the judgement to yourself. It always trips me out when folks are like "I would have done this in that situation or I would have done that"…I usually laugh and smh. Until you've been there you really don't know WHAT you would do. But I digress.

    I've learned a lot about forgiveness over the past couple of years and honestly, the ability to forgive others is the best thing you can do for YOURSELF. Because when all is said and done the other person is usually not pressed, or trippin or even thinking about the hurt they caused you. So why hold on to that? Ulcers, hair loss and wrinkles #weoffthat!

    Oh and you ain't nowhere NEAR 21 years old, Streetz! LOL…funny though. 😉

  9. I would say in the perfect society maybe a tad bit of judgment is necessary to uphold right from wrong; but who has the right to differentiate right from wrong? I don't think the average person is challenged enough day to day on passing judgment, consequently leaving them with no motive to think about it. Everyone seems to use subjective standards when condemning others, I think that is why we easily forget that wrongdoing is wrongdoing. It's imprudent to allow yourself to declare another person's mistakes worse than yours. Again, I think that is courtesy of not being challenged. You're right, it is unfair and a safe haven for people who do not wish to relate with and/or pardon others.

  10. "So what’s the verdict? Is it human nature to judge? Can we control it? Is it valid?"

    I think it is definitely human nature to judge. I think what irks me the most are folks that claim to be holier-than-thou and chastize people for judging. Um, you do know you're judging someone else for judging, right? It's the circle of life. lol

    That said, though the phrase, "Only God can judge me" can be annoying at times (I guess it depends on the intent of the person saying it), I do understand the message. It's not necessarily taking away anyone's "right" to judge, it's just saying that only God's judgement will be the one that matters. So, I say, judge all you want. It's not like you have any bearing on my life and how it turns out. I also don't believe in a "judging God" either (more of a "gave us free will and every action has a consequence" God), but that's a whole 'nother topic…

  11. I forgive, for everything, no matter what, but I don't forget. I will definitely keep track of what went down so that the same mistakes won't be repeated. That's just how I am.

    Judging is definitely human nature, anything that deals with feelings/emotions/opinions can be attributed to human nature. I try not to judge but end up doing it from time to time although I keep the majority of those opinions to myself. Even if you do drop your opinion on someone with good intentions, you'll be dubbed a hater anyway.

  12. Now, I have definitely been in this situation many a time. I agree with the words that you have written. I have been knonw as a patient and understanding person. However, smack once its on you, smack twice its on me, the third time aint happening homie. I have many scars from those in my past that have proceeded to my present, do I treat them harshly for it no, but they don't get the same trust as before. Preach on Streetz

  13. lol @ "Punch me in the face Streetz"

    I STAY judging people on their cleanliness, however if somebody makes a surprise visit to my crib, they gotta stand outside for 5 minutes while I shove stuff under my bed. smdh

    But sadly we all do it, and it is usually harmless if you keep it in check.

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