Home Dating & Relationships Marriage Top 7 Reasons to take off your wedding ring

Top 7 Reasons to take off your wedding ring

13

asssmack

I have heard people make tha argument that you are never supposed to take of your wedding ring …

What! Never take off your wedding ring? Thats craziness.

So as a young unmarried bachelor, I have looked into my future and come up with SBM’s list of:

When you can take of your wedding ring!

1. Its itching

This is self explanatory. Leave something on too long and the skin under it gets a little irritated. Let your finger breathe. Besides, if Meaghan Goode suddenly walks past me … I assume it would get really itchy and start to burn too.

2. Show someone the inscription.

Assuming you got an inscription from your love one on the inside, don’t you want your best friend to see it.

3. You walking through the hood and might be robbed.

Not just any hood … I mean its got to be the hood. Like where Thugnificent of “The Boondocks” grew up. Like anything might pop off, the police moved out, and babies selling crack. She’ll be mad if you don’t come home with it.

4. Your about to get your finger sucked by a stripper.

Because its a stripper … its OK to get your finger sucked (she a professional. Is your husband gonna get jealous of your gynocologist?). But … not all strippers are to be trusted … so you might want to take of that platinum band before she wets your finger.

See Also:  Adulthood, Maturity, and Etiquette: What Your Mother Never Told You About How to Behave

5. Your smacking an ass that isn’t your wife.

Here at SBM, we respect the sanctity of marriage. Therefore, if your gonna smack a random ass, perhaps the girl who rode up next to you on a bike while at Black Bike Week, you should respect the ring and not befoul it with the ass juice of another.

6. Your caressing a stripper’s breast.

Again, its a stripper so its not wrong, and same principal as #5 … don’t befoul the ring.

7. To prove you “still got it” to hating friends.

If any of you watched Martin, there was an episode where Tommy and Cole told Martin that the only thing attracting women to him was his wedding ring and that he couldn’t “pull em” like he used to. As a man, we have an obligation to prove our friends wrong no matter hoe dumb and pointless the challenge may be (had a friend who jumped through a campfire cause … well … another story). So he therefor took of his ring (and lost it) to prove to them he could still get women … which he did!

So there it is. If you are caught in photographs without a wedding ring, just refer to this handy list to quickly and easily justify the removal of said ring.

See Also:  The Engagement Ring

Any other reason’s you can think of? I know there has to be one I’m missing.

**Disclaimer**: This is a joke.  Leave your wedding ring on peoples.

Comment(13)

  1. this was a really stupid post SBM, but i did laugh a little, therefore it's more like stoooopid!

    you forgot to mention that most men who take off their wedding ring have a tan line around that part of their finger anyway, but i'm really not seeing the safety factors of popping your ring on and off like that at any given moment…you are listing a surefire recipie on how to LOSE a wedding ring.

    strippers, random bike week chicks etc. don't care if you're married anyway so just use your other hand for ass slapping, i doubt they'll care…oh well, happy friday!

  2. Call me uptight, but I am glad you put that disclaimer. I was about to give your post a "C'mon Son"!! and then boycott your blog. Marriage is a serious deal, don't be giving some stupid men no ideas.

  3. That picture is hilarious.

    In all honesty, I see more women doing this than dudes. Married dudes have no shame in their game. Chicks will talk to a married man anyway, #donttrustthem.

  4. Hmm…

    I like this list. It's funny.

    If I put a ring on your finger… It bet not EVER come off…although mine will… just get me a lil cheapo one though… I'll wear that one all the time.

    Ok but seriously… I've come across quite a few men who do NOT wear any kinda ring period at all… then in casual convo say "my wife…"

    *crickets*

    Mr. Where's your ring? Oh … we don't wear rings… well alrighty then.

  5. I love the disclaimer at the end, lmao…

    But I feel you on #3 "I'm not from the rap hood I'm from the 'hood' hood," as Jigga says. I'm not married, but my sister is, and when we do stuff in the hood, like community service, she wears a cheapo substitue, lmao!

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