I have heard people make tha argument that you are never supposed to take of your wedding ring …
What! Never take off your wedding ring? Thats craziness.
So as a young unmarried bachelor, I have looked into my future and come up with SBM’s list of:
When you can take of your wedding ring!
1. Its itching
This is self explanatory. Leave something on too long and the skin under it gets a little irritated. Let your finger breathe. Besides, if Meaghan Goode suddenly walks past me … I assume it would get really itchy and start to burn too.
2. Show someone the inscription.
Assuming you got an inscription from your love one on the inside, don’t you want your best friend to see it.
3. You walking through the hood and might be robbed.
Not just any hood … I mean its got to be the hood. Like where Thugnificent of “The Boondocks” grew up. Like anything might pop off, the police moved out, and babies selling crack. She’ll be mad if you don’t come home with it.
4. Your about to get your finger sucked by a stripper.
Because its a stripper … its OK to get your finger sucked (she a professional. Is your husband gonna get jealous of your gynocologist?). But … not all strippers are to be trusted … so you might want to take of that platinum band before she wets your finger.
5. Your smacking an ass that isn’t your wife.
Here at SBM, we respect the sanctity of marriage. Therefore, if your gonna smack a random ass, perhaps the girl who rode up next to you on a bike while at Black Bike Week, you should respect the ring and not befoul it with the ass juice of another.
6. Your caressing a stripper’s breast.
Again, its a stripper so its not wrong, and same principal as #5 … don’t befoul the ring.
7. To prove you “still got it” to hating friends.
If any of you watched Martin, there was an episode where Tommy and Cole told Martin that the only thing attracting women to him was his wedding ring and that he couldn’t “pull em” like he used to. As a man, we have an obligation to prove our friends wrong no matter hoe dumb and pointless the challenge may be (had a friend who jumped through a campfire cause … well … another story). So he therefor took of his ring (and lost it) to prove to them he could still get women … which he did!
So there it is. If you are caught in photographs without a wedding ring, just refer to this handy list to quickly and easily justify the removal of said ring.
Any other reason’s you can think of? I know there has to be one I’m missing.
**Disclaimer**: This is a joke. Leave your wedding ring on peoples.