*** Admin Note ***
A little “snafu” earlier this week cause Streetz’ masterpiece to get posted way to late in the day (yeah … I f*’d up … I got a lot going on).
So … enjoy it all over again
Whether you hit a house party, a club, wedding, or other social gathering with groups of friends, you’ll always come across a team of people that the crew is feeling. One of the funniest situations between men and women when it comes to courting, is something I like to call “The Claim Game”. We, have played this game many times. The situation occurs when someone, who previously showed interest in a friend or colleague, now wants to holla at you. You go to your friend requesting a Carfax (scouting report) on the individual to find out their status, and this can result in one of two outcomes
ME: My dude,what’s good with shorty? That’s you?
Homie: Her? Nah I mean she wanted to holla, but it never went anywhere.
ME: So, I’m good?
Homie: Yea son, do you! **daps**
ME: My dude,what’s good with shorty? That’s you?
Homie: Who her? Yea that’s me we been talking for a minute.
ME: Oh that’s wifey?
Homie: Nah not really, I mean……………… we speak on the phone and whatnot here n there, and so on and so forth nahmeyaheard?!
Me: Huh? Oh like everyday?
Homie: Not really, but she knows wassup.
Me: So… she’s not really interested.
Homie: Not in that way, but I’m gonna get it though fam!
We all go through situations where we see someone we like, try to kick game, and “we get rejected in the paint while our person of interest waves the finger like Mutombo” (c) J. Davermann. Then, the person we were feelin’ is now crushin on your friend. It’s natural to feel snubbed or jealous, but to pull a claim on someone just because you got rejected is corny. The Claim Game serves as a nice way to deem your homie a hater. Period. A wise person once said “It takes a man to stand and cheer while the other fellow stars”. Sometimes, you have to step aside and let your homie succeed where you fail, and at least try to live vicariously through them!
If you didn’t have a committed relationship with your homie’s point of interest, then you have no basis to pull a claim. Men have unwritten rules about situations like this. A dude will ask another dude about a woman, and if she isn’t claimed, then that will serve as a green light to pursue. Now, if you are the claimer, and you seriously have something developing with the lady in red question, then you need to speak up, or forever hold your peace. Many situations developed where men were prideful, claim that they have no feelings for a woman, and later gets upset when their homie smashes before they do tries to bag said female.
On another note, just because someone “wanted to holla at you first”, gives you no basis by which you would place a claim! Infatuation is fantasy based, and when people face reality, their feelings can and will flip like acrobats. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s human. I can respect a friend who goes to all lengths to make sure no ill feelings will occur between them if they pursue someone of interest, or ran a train had a previous relationship. To me, that’s a great courtesy, because if you are good friends with this person, you should know if they were seriously dealing with this individual to begin with (or the level of seriousness). I’ve inquired before, and used judgment calls in others depending on prior knowledge, and it’s worked out well I mean, I’m still alive and my car isn’t damaged right?. Especially if your friends know you as virtuous and not the type to “have sex with your girlfriend if you look the other way”. lol.
What about the situation where your friend was dating the woman in question? Is it always off limits? I’ve seen this situation more times than I can count, and believe it’s more common than anyone thinks! Some like by the motto “If it wasn’t serious wifey, then I’m good” Hell I had friends tell people “You got 2 years to reconcile, or I’m going IN!!” The situation even gets trickier when you talk about acquaintances, business partners, mans-an-em, LBs, sands, etc. We need a board to review all of this!
You never want to step on toes by acting on attraction, knowing a friend was interested in said individual first. If its been 6 months with < 5 phone calls, < 2 dates, and nothing past bunt singles and pop-ups, then “give it up Rock, its ova!” (c) Mick, Rocky III. So I ask today, when is it right/wrong to claim a person? Are there circumstances where you never have to inquire about dealings? When is it grimy to put claim on an individual? What about your friends? What about us girrllllll?
Streetz: Mr. Write Now alias “If you paying for dinner, you can claim me alllll night long!“
First of all… lmao @ "mans-an-em"… been trying to figure out how to write that out for quite a minute.
I've been in this situation more times then I care to count. And usually it's b/c after my GF and her SO (if he was EVEN that) call it off, he realizes I'm the "girl of his dreams." Lmao. So what is a girl to do. Most of the time I ignore his advances b/c I was scarred for life after one incident.
Ask my homie if she minded if dude and I talk… she said HELL YEA. lmao. I think women have an unwritten rule about this stuff too. But lemme give u the deets real quick. They "dated" for 2 weeks… shared 3 stale phone calls and no dates. What you mean YOU MIND?! Ugh. I would never ask a homie who had something significant w/ dude. I would hope he wouldn't even put me in that situation no matter how much we <del>wanna smash</del> have in common.
Good post Streetz.
DANGER! He smashed the homies.
Your first problem was that you asked…lmao you knew shed hate!
True… true…true, but I didn't wanna be the "trifling" female (see clsmoove below) and have to deal w/ all the drama so I figured… bright idea: I'll ask. Get my permission slip signed & get on the bus. Except I didn't count on her ripping up my permission slip in my face.
I feel you.. see the difference is women will claim anything! Men we're more like whatever with this topic. You just have to make that judgement call ya dig?
streetz…i love this one!
sooooon…females are INFAMOUS for this shit. I have been ranting on the lip lock (female cock block) for quite some time now, lol.
Here are some of the most recent lockages (yeah i made that up) to come to my attention:
Girl X was dating dude Y in the 6th grade. they broke up 6 months later. 15 years later, dude Y unknowingly is feeling girl X's friend (whom she met in college). Girl X promptly shuts that down expressing latent love for dude…o_O
Girl A grew up in church with Dude B. Never hollered. Never expressed interest (either did he). When Dude B expresses interest in Girl A's friend, she flat out states that if her friend were to holler she'd take it as disrespect and cut her off.
Take any version of the above and change the ending: Girl X/A claim that they don't mind you talking to dude, but then proceed to drag your name thru the mud/blog/twittersphere on how you're trifling, etc.
What makes females worse than men in the "claim game" is that they are quick to throw the emo-card on situations like this (even if it's not true). Really it's just a gut punch coz they assume most females won't be that heartless (or simply won't want to deal with the pending drama).
Being in a sorority makes this 10x worst btw.
A loud resounding THIS!!!!! to your post! If I had a dollar for everytime this happened to me id be e-rich!
There's rules to this. If you boy is talking to her, leave it alone, unless he gives you the nod. That's just common courtesy. Now if he's dragging his feet, that's different, but other than that, on to the next one.
I'm glad this got re-posted. It was a slept on topic that requires communication between males. My team has lost members (white boys) who weren't on the same page with the rules of engagement. Even in war, you can't be all willy-nilly flumbing over each other trying to kill the same enemy.
So simple and yet dudes still eff it up!
Magnus, you hit the nail on the head. lol. I think dudes let ego get in the way of overall team victories!
I have a question ; I was in a relationship for about 3 years , and we have a child , things didn't work out (he cheated) . We are still good friends and all but I'm somewhat feeling one of his boys . He is feeling me also and I'm not sure what to do ?
You have to know how close they are first. Dating a friend of your ex can be crazy, especially if children are involved! Just check that out, and see what his boy is talkin about before you make any moves. You want to avoid as much drama as possible
Thanks streetz ! His boy wants sumthing serious nut Im scared it will ruin my relationship with me childs father .
Then don't do it if you're worried about the impact on the child. Like I said Pros and Cons… sounds like your childs dad is close to this dude. No bueno!