A symbol of your love. A symbol of your commitment. A symbol of the undying love that he holds for her. Something to be adored … something to be cherished.
A colossal waste of money.
Yeah … I said it … and every single guy reading this, your dad, his dad, that guy at Kay’s right now and every husband … agrees with me.
First and foremost, let me say there is a difference between wedding rings and engagement rings. Wedding rings are exchanged during the wedding. The man and woman both get one. It’s a circle … never ending … like marriage. It actually is baked in tradition and truly is a symbol.
But then you get to this craziness called an engagement ring. A showy, expensive piece of jewelry that often times replaces the wedding ring. A travesty. I was told when I was a young SBM that I would need to spend 2-3 months worth of my hard-earned money on one of these expensive rocks and metal one day. You know who came up with that figure? The church … nope. African folklore … nope. Jesus … naw, my man JC had better sense. It was De Beers! The same company that is responsible for countless little kids running around without hands and 10 year olds with AKs.
If you can’t tell by now … I’m not a fan of the engagement ring.
So before I overwhelm you with my ramblings … I will keep my composure and present:
SBM’s 5 Reasons we should do away with engagement rings
A couple has better things to be spending $10,000 on
The day I make an honest woman out of someone, and take that proverbial plunge into matrimony, I want Mrs. Future SBM to be taken care of. I want to provide a roof over our head, a car with gas, and a soft bed for life long good good without a glove nights of cuddling. The money I dropped on that rock could have been a down payment on a house, a new car (with a trade in), or a year’s worth of food for two people. Feel me …
It’s the gift that keeps on taking (Insurance)
One unpleasant surprise I came across in my adult life was that an engagement ring had to be insured. While I am glad I don’t have to implement my ingenious 5th grade plan involving crazy glue and a skin graft to insure my investment is protected, isn’t this more money that could be going to little SBM. “I’m sorry son … I would get you that new computer for school but I can’t let the ring insurance payments slip”.
Hating a$$ females
Hoodrat 1:”Girl (*why does every ghetto chics sentence to her girl start with girl? -SBM*), did you see Shackajoquasia’s ring.”
HR 2: “Please … I would have needed a microscope to see a diamond that small”
Boughie Chic 1: “Did you see Sharon’s Engagement ring? It’s huge!”
BC 2: “Please … it’s probably synthetic.”
Women are bred to hate on other women. I don’t know why, and if I find a cure I’m going to put it in the tap water. It’s either too nice, too small, fake, stolen, or makes her butt look small. If we didn’t have them there … there would be nothing to hate on!
Robs from what is really important
When women get married, they crowd around each other to look at the ring. They don’t really care that someone is getting married, that a man stepped up to the plate and did something right, or that it might not work out. All they care about is the rock. Personally, I care. I honestly don’t even want a wedding (another post … another day) … I just want to be married. If I have decided I want to spend the rest of my life with you and you agree …. wtf are we waiting for? The ring is just another thing to cheapen something that really meaningful.
This one can easily be solved with gemstones or an onyx (no such thing as a “conflict-free” diamond … lets be real), but I would peg 3.8% of women as having the strength to stand that type of hating. The wifey would come home crying like someone kicked sand at her at the playground. So, to keep her happy some kid in Africa loses her hands. Damn shame …
I will say, I know I will have to buy one. I know this argument and others will fall on deaf ears. There are some battles that I will never see won during my life time … but I do this for the kids and their kids.
But still, this is a call to action. This is a call to all my women to reject those engagement rings, call a realtor instead, and break this old and outdated tradition. Men … well … we don’t have a say in the matter, so just email this to the future mrs and hope for the best.
– SBM aka “Would you like some blood with your diamond” aka I make to much in 3 months aka I’m worth more than the ring