*** Admin Note ***
Happy New Year
That is all …
– SBM
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It is a new year and a new decade. It’s funny as I get older the changes I have gone through and how my thinking has changed toward women, dating, love, and marriage. Things that used to confuse me now make sense, songs that annoyed me before are now my jams, and “wisdom” about women I was imbued years ago is now relevant.
But … is it me …
Is it that I have grown and changed, or just that dating has changed. Is it that I personally have gone through some personal metamorphosis, or that the rules of engagement for our parents. and even older siblings, just don’t apply anymore?
So, as we enter this new year and decade, I want to predict the dating climate of 2010. I have conjured my the SBM mystical ball of dating (an 8 Ball where I scratched of the 8 and wrote “SBM is the Man” in silver ink) and it has allowed me to view into the future. In exactly one year, we will reconvene and you will see that I was 100% right.
The African-American divorce rate will rise to 97%
As we rebound out of the recession, our people will finally be able to afford divorce lawyers and shaky marriages that held together through tough times will dissolve as both people can gain employment. More importantly, Jay Z will release a single stating “Divorced is the New Single” that will promote going out to the club and popping bottles well into a man’s 50’s. Black women will be angry as even the “good one’s” are flying down to Spellman’s homecoming in order to get someone 20 years younger.
Beyonce and Jay Z will get divorced
I’m sorry, but they never made sense to me as a couple. It’s like the star football player dating the start cheerleader, except that he is like 10 years older and is a solid 4 while she is a 10.5. As a result of this monumental break-up and Jay’s new single (read previous prediction), Black relationships in America may never recover.
This will be the year of the “Angry Black Woman“
With news specials increasing their coverage of angry black woman (washingtonpost.com) and forever single women (this is a good arse video), we are going to see sales of “ABW” shirts spike in number. ABW won’t be an insult anymore, and a lot of women will embrace this label. They will convince their friends to be angry too and that men aren’t any good. What really got me with the washingtonpost.com post is that it’s a woman who will lead this charge. Once her movie hits … it’s a wrap
Speed Dating will make a super comeback
As black love continues to degenerate, the idea of going someplace, picking from 8 women, and then taking one home will gain traction. Trust …
Women on the down low will be brought to light
Yeah … you heard me. Some woman from Philadelphia will write about her cheating on her husband with hundreds of women. Thing is … the husband will not be mad, and men will start trying to introduce “down low” coworkers to their non “down low” wives. Unlike down low men, these down low women will actually be sought after and searched for.
Daisy Dukes will make a comeback
This one might just be wishful thinking …
So there you have it. I know they might seem a little off brand, and I know this Grey Goose got me acting a fool on this blog I might be just making stuff up with reckless abandonment … but suppose I’m right. Huh … what then?
What are your 2010 dating predicitons?
P.S.: For those who couldn’t tell … I was joking. I mean … 97%, come on. And DL women … in my dreams.
– SBM aka The Black Nostradamus
This post made me sad. You have no positive thoughts concering dating in 2010? If all of this is true, I might as well move my behind to Africa right the hell now! Find myself a nice tribal leader, get back to my roots, and kick it there until Jesus Christ comes back……lol,
It cannot be this bad. Yes, the greygoose has your behind loose! I hope? If not, Lord help the single ladies, Bey…….sigh.
Wow this officially blew me. I've read plenty of your pessimistic ABW have no hope blogs but this takes the cake! Great sooooo….now Black folks can afford divorce, bitter black women will take over, everyone is gonna be a closet lesbo and Jay and Beyonce gonna break up wow?!?! Officially not black anymore….I'm just gonna choose to be white because clearly being black sucks balls….literally all the time cuz all these hoes aint never gonna be wives…smdh….
Happy New Year!!
I don't think that Daisy Dukes ever left. However, since everyone is in the gym trying to achieve bodily perfection, you may see them more frequently. All the females that never had the opportunity to wear them might make fashion statements every chance that they get.
B will stay in her marriage longer than her Mama did…
I'm just saying that:
1. Tights will no longer be worn in clubs. Tights are the cheapest fashion statement :). As a fashionista myself, I truly think that this year will be the death of tights. Ladies leave this one to Amber Rose..
2. There will be an hiatus on short haircuts (jeepers..should I start growing my hair back??)
I do believe that the African-American divorce rate will be high, because our ppl seem to get married for petty reasons. Let a man be a man & women need to remember to be a wife. Don't forsake your spouse. Keep the romance alive. Damn, i'n only 23 and i know this shiddd!
Negro….
You are nuts. But you might be right abt the ABW!
Please don't be right about that ABW!!! You heard how Mary mollywhopped Kendu! Imagine all the married ABWs…..they gonna whupping ass & taking names! And if any if of my friends get a t-shirt…welll let's say death of a friendship!
This be the: Funniest.Shit.I.Never.Wrote. Kudos SBM!
As far as Daisy Dukes goes, the closest you'll get to that in this decade is boy shorts and the whole 'shirt as a dress' phenomenon. Not gonna happen, sir.
On the Divorce rate, sheeeiit. The problem is that some people don't communicate well enough before walking the aisle in the first place. When women and men begin to talk to each other instead of at each other and actually speak of their needs, wants, desire, pains, dreams, etc. You won't have to worry about all this 'who-shot-John' and your marriage can stand the test of time. Until then, singledom and divorce will be at all time high across the board.
I have one dating prediction: Black ♥ and families will make a strong return. The jumpoff will slowly fade into obscurity while commitment moves to the forefront. No more wifing in the club because you generally want to bring somebody home to Ma Duke. No need for a maintenance man because the BF knows his way around a monkey wrench.
ABW is alive and kickin!. That is one of those things that will never fade and go away.
Predictions: By the end of 2010 nobody will admit they ever wore skinny jeans. Like having a Jerry Curl or S-Curl in the 80s (unless you're Diddy and still S-Curl)….everybody had one but no one will admit they did.
#2 People will actually be happier in this decade now that the bling era is over.
#3 Popularity of rap music will continue to decline. "Urban" radio stations will die off like newspaper. Primarily because of their whack content offerings.
I hope the popularity of rap music doesn't decline – I just hope the direction of the music makes a reversal. Less Jeezy and Gucci and more Lupe and Cudi.
Yeah I didn't really mean that in a bad way. When hip hop was good back in the 80s it wasn't really that popular. It was underground. When it turned commercial and got popular is when you saw the decline. Even the best rappers now are not the most popular. I see a decline in pop-hop happening. A return to real hip hop.
I hope you are TOTALLY wrong about the ABM. I'm a Black woman and I hope that my sistren are smart enough to not be manipulated by the Mainstream Media's renewed obsession with further destroying the Black family. I've boycotted reading and viewing all MSM articles and videos that talk about the perpetually lonely Black woman and the always incarcerated/unemployed/uneducated Black man. I think these are good conversations to have, but I will only have them with Black men and women (except that Washington Post chick – she deserves to be by herself).
Very smart ! The media only gives us what we consume. Black people really do need to start boycotting newspapers and other forms of media that portray us in a negative light. They are not our friends. As a resident of Prince George's County I no longer subscribe to the Washington Post because all they do is run negative articles about Prince George's County despite the fact that their is more crime and murder in the city and more gang members in Northern Virginia. My favorite line from Malcolm X is "Who's newspaper is that? It's the devil's newspaper." 🙂 What Malcolm was saying is do we really expect people that don't care about us to write positive articles about us? Smarten up people
Lol funny.
Just one thing: its Spelman…just one "l".
That is all!
You a fool for this one! lmaooo
Angry Black Women will have someone portray them in a sitcom that will pop off and then itll be cool to be angry. smh. lol
in response to other comments i really think this post was made jokingly. i found it pretty funny. if you take offense just don't become an angry black woman. *shrugs*
Before you admitted to joking around with this list, all I kept thinking is, "Why's he being so mean?!"
I predict Beyonce's going to have another hit song that'll get stuck in your head all the day long and many ppl will recreate one of her videos all over youtube.com
What kind of speed dating are you doing? I want a piece of it. In my months of speed dating and blogging about it, I haven't found a speed dater suave enough to actually take a woman home the same night. Or ever, really.
Man where is the luv, hahaha. I think 2010 will be a better more successful year. Hopefully everyone learned the importance of living within their means.
I wish Daisy Duke herself-well,a buxom blonde 2010's equivalent of the hot-bodied,rambunctious
Southern babe who turned me on in the 70's-would return to TV-this time with a handsome black boyfriend!!!(Yours Truly would happily volunteer-I'm a life-size Brett doll-i.e.,a boyishly handsome,57-year-old black Canadian lad said to resemble a handsome black cowboy.)
As for "Angry Black Women," those broads are ALWAYS angry-especially when they see someone like me with a hot white or Latin chick!!!(My preference is a buxom blonde or Latina between 24 and 42.)
J,Malcolm X finally figured that the "Fru it Of The Loon,"i.e.,Fruit Of Islam,the Nation Of Islam's para-military arm,were a bunch of blank-eyed lackeys/soldiers for the pedophile/thief/white supre-
macist/loving colourist he thought dark-skinned "sub-Saharan' blacks inferior to light-hued "Asia-
tic blacks;some "African American leader,right?-fraud Elijah Poole (or as you lemmings term him,Elijah Muhammad.)If I'm going to follow ANYONE,she'd better be between 24 and 42 and have size 34Cs-42ds!!!