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The Stupidity of Man

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As I continue to present both sides of the proverbial relationship coin, I am forced to do some self examination and admit my mortality.  In addition, I must dig deep into my infallible wisdom to figure out the failures of my infallible wisdom.  And every once in awhile I need to put it out there in a public forum (that means here) in order to keep my humble.

Come help keep me humble …



And before all the females get around and start pumping their fists in the air, throw their confetti, and start kissing each other ever so gently shouting for joy … please refer to posts 1 through 400 for your shortcomings (there are about 20 wildcards though).

Today I acknowledge the stupid things that us men do (as it pertains to relationships).  This was hard … very very hard.  It was like looking at diamonds for flaws … but I have dug deep and found em.

Enjoy …

SBM’s List of Stupid Things that Men Do

Try and smash on the first date

So, I think it’s a well known fact that most men will take the poom poom if it is offered to them on the first date.  The “stupid” part about it is we may really like a girl … I mean dreaming of the kids and all kinds of simp isht.  We know that taking the offer will ruin our vision of the girl and kill any wifey potential … but still … we smash.

See Also:  Why you don't have a man #4729: He just doesn't want a relationship!

Ignore emotions, feelings, and anything related to it

If the game is on or we are in the zone on our Xbox, we aren’t trying to deal with crying or “upset” feelings.  It’s usually a lot easier to ignore it and hope it solves itself.  Sure, this may end up in withholdings of the dirty dug out, curse outs, or wifey stepping out … but … the Redskins are down by 3 and it’s the 4th quarter.

Refuse to Acknowledge a Fragile ego

All men have pretty fragile egos.  Not only are we not quick to admit, acknowledge, or accept this … but they must be stroked in a very special way.  It can’t be obvious and blatant, but we need to feel it at the end of the day.  The peculiarities of the male ego are … peculiar. *sidenote* The Female Ego is just as bad if not many times worst than the male ego

Allow S*x to Rule … Everything

To say a man thinks with his d*ck is an understatement.  We think, live, and are defined by it.  As a result, every guy especially me has a slew of horrible horrible stories that pertain to the pursuit of the good googly moogly.  Whether it’s a bad baby mama, car windows busted, or a bullet wound to the chest … every guy  has negatively suffered at the hands of this addiction.  I one time tried to shed my body of this cursed addiction.  I was good for awhile … until I got the wrong text, from the wrong person, after reading a King Magazine.  Next thing I knew I found myself waking up in a strange place, covered in sweat, smelling like caramel sauce, and with a g-string on my ear.

See Also:  Why Didn't It Work Out? Was it Him or Me?

Fear Commitment

I actually don’t want to put this as a “stupid” thing, but it kind of counts.  While it is not every man that fears kids and a picket fence, there are enough of us running from it.  I don’t know why the idea of shackling ourself to one individual for an eternity and bypassing every new experience is so scary … oh wait … I just said why.  Sure, our entire society would benefit from more black men looking for commitment … but who is trying to give up their freedoms for that?

I know there are other things that us “stupid men” do … but it took almost 3 months of research just to compile this list, there were deadlines.  Men are pretty great ..

What did I miss?  What did I get wrong, probably all of it? Have I sold us all out by listing these few things?  Are these really stupid things that we do … or unique aspects of the male psyche that make us so great?

– SBM aka Still A Great Man

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Comment(59)

  1. Telling a women you love her even though you don't and probably never will just to have sex with her…that is dumb

  2. Very true and good post And with all that stupidness I still refused to give up on you guys and finding the one for me. Plus its all so entertaining

  3. A VERY big one that totally gets on my nerves is when men try and belittle you by saying something totally disrespectful, and then when you RIGHTFULLY get upset about it try to play it off like "oh women are so emotional".

    Double pissed off points if he allows his friends do it, and he doesn't have the testicular fortitude to call them out. Men seem to listen to their friends too much on how to treat women, they think if they actually treat a woman with RESPECT it makes them "Soft".

    If you are so concerned with what your idiot friends think all the time, maybe you should go ask them to hold you at night.

    Men's loyalties are messed up and confusing. Homies over hoes only makes sense if you are homosexual. Just sayin.

    1. Lol you had me at testicular fortitude. I love it. Yeah stupid thugs guys do #co-signage the while disrespect thing.. And then in front of people? Oh my. You're asking for your death there.. 🙁

    2. I'm sorry, but this is far from a man only phenom. Women almost live & die by the opinions and thoughts of their friends. Relationships have ended, acquisations have been made, and fights started all because a woman wanted to take her friend's opinions as "The Word".

      1. Any woman who does that is not only foolish but doesn't have respect for him. And I'm heavy on respect. I can't take disrespect from anyone. If a "friend" has the audacity to try and give their opinion on someone I love, please have proof and not some silly "Carfax" shit that people here have started. I'm sorry for generalizing by saying just guys do that. Very wrong of me.

      2. True (women do listen too their friends advice too much) but women are more prone to put their man above their friends rather than the other way around.

  4. Re: Try and smash on the first date – As a man this is not stupid this is a responsibility. Herm Edwards said it best, "You play to win the game, HELLO!"

    Re: Ignore emotions, feelings, and anything related to it – This is a gift i'm proud of my ability to do it.

    Re: Refuse to Acknowledge a Fragile ego – I agree with you. However, I am now the first person to admit my faults because i'm working on myself.

    Re: Allow S*x to Rule … Everything – I don't know this can go either way for men and women.

    Re: Fear Commitment – I figured this out this weekend. We are all in the game. And as a man we all have a little Kurt Warner or Brett Favre in us. And each year we think about hanging it up and take it to the house, but then you know that you still have a little left in the tank and so you go out there and start throwing hail mary's. Whenever someone mentions commitment that's what goes through the guy's head, he could settle down, but he still has a lot left in the tank and wants to play.

    1. I must say the Farve and Warner analogy was one of the best attempts at explaining this that I have seen in a minute.

      And good thing you called "dibs" … cause that would been up next week from me.

  5. I cant cosign on the smash on the first date. If we've conversed for a month and then finally decide to go out, or if i have known you for a while/ have been friends, then it's only right to say that those emotional/familiarity connections have been built. o smashing on the first date may be the culmination of weeks of "getting to know" one another, making the fact that its the "first date" irrelevant.

    Everything else is cool. Ignoring a womans emotions is like doin the stanky leg in traffic.

    1. Converse for a month before the first date???

      I guess it happens, but I have to really be wowed to devote that type of upfront time to get to know someone. Don't act like you aint book a girl on Friday, took her out on Wednesday (followed by a solid beat), and then disqualified her from wifey for making it too easy.

      Don't fake …

      1. Son,

        You know what I mean! Lets say u bag the twitter/aim/number and yall speak for a week or two before actually going out… you've build a bond where the first date is a formality. Think about it, the first date back in the day was the inital icebreaker in a formal setting where you interacted with an individual, examined their habits, and determined whether you can actually stand them. In the 21st century, with technological advancements in communication, this feel out period is extended and preemptive! Think about it… What if I videochat/Skype with a woman for like 2-3 weeks before we actually physically hang out. By then she knows if you will ever hit or even get a chance to get on base. She'll just need to see how you act in real life to seal the deal.

        I also didnt say ur 5 day scenario doesn't occur. lol. I'm just stating that you're point isn't an absolute and in these times, that has to be amended.

        1. There is no bond via twitter bp or e-harmony Man sit down You are confusing the two Yes if your both honest you can get to know each other online But hitting it on the 1st date is still Getting it on the 1st date Dont get mad at me that men think this way You can have the ultimate online relationship sharing dislikes likes future past and then meet and get nothing but crickets or say you do hit it off That dosent mean she has to sleep with you You are not owed punani cause I like you

        2. I know what your saying … and you got a point … but

          Who does that? Who is really trying to put in 2-3 weeks of real life phone conversation before the first date? I hate to admit it, but even months of email/text/IM don't mean a lot … gotta be phone or video chat.

          But, I will agree … if there is weeks or a month of phone/video conversation … then first date beats can be expected and wouldn't hurt her chances.

        3. *raises hand shyly and grabs mic with the other hand*

          I'm all for video chats… *drops mic*

          *hand is down, walking away* Pow… ^_^

        4. but like what's wrong with smashing on the first date if both people want to smash? you have a nice dinner, some drinks, maybe hit a dancing spot, and then the g-spot.

          i felt like i said that with a jersey accent as if i was one of those jersey shore kids when i said that too.

      2. Converse for a month before the 1st date? lol In what world And if your talking online Thats a wash too Ya'll know you see us as straight hoes then But good attempt at getting sum on the 1st date But No

        1. @laurinsofia

          #youmad? I gotta ask this because it seems as if you have a lot of venom towards this post, lol. For one, no one owes a n*gga anything and i NEVER said tht. Im speaking about a mentality. Putting in work is Putting in work, regardless of when/ where

          #2 why would a dude automatically cal you a ho if yall met online talked for a month then he hit? If i met you, called u for a month, then hit when i first met you would you be a hoe too? if you gonna shoot, AIM homie.. AIM! You're worse than son who shotup Curtis Jackson

          @SBM – What if you and shorty live out of state? #gotem

        2. @Streetz:

          I've been there. She was out of state, we met through e-means, talked a lot and really got to know each other. And I was deep in dirty dug out within 4 hours of stepping off the plane.

          But … there were hours of phone time logged before hand.

          And come on son … you pulling up edge cases and ignoring the middle 80%. You know I wasn't talking about all that when I wrote it.

          My bad if your girl read that. I am 100% sure in your case it was that special edge case and it did not impact her wifable status afterwards #noshots

        3. @streetz Watch me on ya video…video. lol

          But yeah, so… are we agreeing to disagree over smashing on the 1st date as a good or bad thing? O_o

        4. @streetztalk

          No not mad at all Just calling it what it is Bogus Its bogus for you to try and hit on the 1st date and then lable me for it Regardless of phone, skype, text, chat …. I am mad that I cant get mine when Im feeling a guy on so many levels We meet for the 1st time and I got to play Sally Homemaker When I wanna show you my inner Vanity lol As far as putting in work Well damn you should wanna work for that You put in wk for your career, your paycheck with no quams why not a future wife @ your #2 Your not hearing me lol You trying to get laid If you dont get it on the 1st date and you feeling me and the whole maybe us thing Then you wont fall back You'll just come harder

        5. @laurinsofia

          eff you

          lol jk

          Seriously, I dont label chicks i hit off first date a JO. Thats just not me.. maybe ur issue is with S-Bizzles description? I just wanted to point out that there are alternate ways to develop bonds. I also agree that the double standards are difficult for women to overcome but when you are an adult, if you're dealing with a dude immature enough to throw labels if yall both hittin, then you lost, lol.

          It all depends on what you are looking for IMHO.

          I lightweight cosign ur second point also

        6. @Streetz: I'm saying … I be so high up in my own mind that I have to find new ways to bring me back to earth sometimes.

          @laurin: The cops put cars out in the hood to see if any steals it. If they do, they are judged for their actions. I have to try and get them guts on the 1st date, its my DNA. But, you know it's a test and need to answer accordingly.

          Like I said … I aint make the rules … just report em.

  6. BIG ONE CORRESPONDING TO POINTS #1 AND #4:

    Men do not understand when NO means NO.

    When a woman tells you "No" to sex, that is what the eff she means the FIRST time.

    Also men think if you let them smash once its theirs from now on. Ninja, you are not ENTITLED to sex. It is a PRIVILEGE, not a RIGHT.

    It is NOT okay for you to continue to beg, grope, badger, coerce, manhandle, paw, intimidate, or even force her ( Yes, unfortunately, this needs to be said).

    If she is telling you NO and you are steady trying to disrobe her anyways you are WRONG.

    1. I'm sorry, but I can't agree with this one. I know first hand that "NO" often times means "maybe". I never have or will force myself on a woman, and begging is some simp isht that I just can't get with … but there are a lot of women who are quick to say "it won't happen" then are getting dug out within 24 hours mentally trying to justify their "change of heart".

      1. If I meet a guy who is trying to smash on the first date, I think he is a bust down and he will not get a second.

        Really.

        1. LOL hell no he can't beat….usually with guys like this I start thinking about how many other chicks he was trying to smash right away, and how little respect he must have for me and himself for trying to get it in so quick with barely a conversation, and how maybe this is all a prelude to an STD.

          Honestly, it makes me lose A LOT of respect for him. Then I start wondering about how many free meals and how much free stuff I can get before he catches on he ain't finna get it.

          And how I shouldn't even try to be alone with him anyways because clearly he cannot control his sexual urges and I don't want to have to fight him off (see above post).

          Its just really disappointing…try and show a little restraint.

    2. Here's the issue with the word no. You're right no means no. Women will have to learn that too. You can't be like no, I don't want to have sex with you. Next thing you know, once a guy slips a finger in your g-string you're like ugh let's just have sex.

      1. Once we tell you no There should be no slipping of the finger in the g-string If we are saying no and still continuing with the make out session Then yes we are wrong If we say no and cant seem to keep our hands to ourselves then we must end our night with a quick goodbye And someone needs to be walked to the door while planning the next Public outing And we keep it public until were both ready to go there These things are alot more simple than they are made out to be We as women know the positions we put ourselves in

        1. There are a lot of steps leading up to sticking a finger in a g-string. It's not something you can just sneak in. At any one of those steps the "no" should be reinforced, but 75% of the time it isn't.

          Sean Connery said it best "A woman's prerogative is to make up her mind. A man's is to change it."

          And that goes both ways. What about the guy who says no to a relationship, yet she is still trying to earn a label?

        2. Look, we know right away weather you gon get it or not And you should know your chances from our chemistry So why rush it and loose all respect for us and put us That Box regardless of how good a time we had Im not reinforcing the no I gave you cause I know where its coming from Finnanly Its not coming from us being two consulting adults Not coming from You know you want to And its not coming from me being A tease Its coming from Look I really like you and want more of a chance at us than being labled because I gave you some and or being hit up again only when youve become suddenly aroused at thoughts of our last encounter If I wanted to Just Do you I wouldve Got it

        3. Whore or not, those are really words to live by. I do …

          I don't make the rules or the news, I just report it. Just like there are certain things a guy must resist doing too early in order to seem appealing to the opposite sex (crotch scratching and keeping a dirty car come to mind) … ya'll got some things you need to do. Making it a little bit of a challenge is one.

      2. I can't wrap my head around how you can possibly disagree with No means No? I feel like you guys just don't want to take responsibility and want to point on the .00001% of times this is not the case and justify your a$$clown behavior.

        And EVEN if you slipped your finger on her G-string, Do we have to jump from 0 to 60 just cuz YOU want to? Sometimes a sista just wanna make out. You can't even let a dude have taste cuz he starts taking too many liberties.

        WEAK.

  7. Men who try to carry on multiple full-fledged relationships with two or more women. Men just don't have the time management skills to pull it off for more than a week. Stop biting off more than y'all can chew.

  8. Dumb shyt 101…Not clarifying that you are not your stuff- if a man cant be real with his woman than he is a big phony. With your girl you should go out of your way to not allow your success to speak for your character. Too many men do this and this is what leads to the women feeling like we frontin. In other words when women go nuts over me being-single-degree yada-yada- I sternly remind them "I am high school drop out from the projects".

    Some other notables- the guy that now a decade removed from the hood wants to throw it out there he from a tough place-lame

    Ditto for dude reminding you of his academic prowess…rule of thumb I dont talk of ANY accomplishments of mine if not directly asked

    And the emo -passive aggressive semi intellectual dude using the shopping line to holla and its waaay obvious shorty aint going for it, damn son No is still No

  9. Hey everyone! I can smell a new post: "What does NO mean? (and please don't say no)"

    Kidding… A little. I feel you touched upon the "major" issues here and there.

    Smash on 1st date – it's wrong but it'll happen, it's happened but it should stop unless like streetz said, emotional/sexual/physical/mental/etc buildup has led to it and it's inevitable, you're both agreeing to drop the drawers.

    Ignore emotions/feelings and whatnot – I'm personally against it because I'm opinionated and have a lot to share regarding my emotions. So ignoring them will just turn ugly. #sukishrug consider that a forewarning… Aww man.. And all cuz your game is on? Alright.. Cool.

    Fragile ego – hmm I'll just hop oveR this one

    sex rules all? – don't do it to yourself. It's a loss on your part. That should say it all

    fear of commitment – I totally understand. I have commitment fears every now and then but come on, you've gotta pull you nuts up and get over it. It's a big deal but people have friggin made it. Commitment signs are like… A turn on. ::growls:: (with all that tongue rolling stuff lol)

    Like pinkminx mentioned, blatant disrespect is another stupid thing. Oh you want to bea goon around your boys, Little Dick? Stop it. I don't blast you in front of them, so don't try and make me seem like I'm nothing. Ugh, hate that I Ioved this guy and he wanted to straight disrespect me once he was around company. I think he forgot about me bein opinionated. I will slap you.. Yes we will fight. I can take hits back. But don't you dare be rude to me like that and all I do is everything for you. (I'm about to break out in song)

    lack of communication is one. No matter what post you guys put up, I'm always a supporter of the "No communication" subject. I think that's self explanatory. ^_^

    That is all… For now 😉

      1. Lmao hell no! I'm saying that to the guys. I grabbed my boobs and womaned up about commitment. Men should grab their nuts. (-_-) HAD to be YOU.

        1. You guys are too much for me. 137% woman. Born as one (breasts and vagina), raised as one (more breasts) and shall forever be one. ^_^ hate you streetz

  10. **STUPIDITY OF MEN AND WOMEN**

    -wOMEN WILL RUSH GUYS INTO RELATIONSHIPS EVEN WHEN THEY KNOW THE GUY ISNT READY. THE GUY WILL JUMP INTO THIS RELATIONSHIP POSSIBLY BC THE GIRLS A LIL CUTE AND A RELATIONSHIP MEANS CONSTANT BEATS??? AFTER SOME TIME THE GUY WILL CHEAT OR DO SOMETHING ELSE DETRIMENTAL TO SAID RELATIONSHIP BC HE SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN IN IT FROM THE FIRST PLACE. LIKE SERIOUSLY AFTER A GIRL GIVES U THE BEATS AFTER THE 3RD OR 4TH TIME SHE AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMES A RELATIONSHIP IS COMING AND THATS DEFF NOT ALWAYS THE CASE……

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