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I Hate Weaves!

276

Black Women Weaves

SBM: “I don’t think I can take it anymore!”
Minnie (My good female friend): “What’s wrong now?”
SBM: “All these weaves on girls.  Look at that chic … ugh!”
Minnie: “What?  What’s wrong with it?”
SBM: “It just looks fake.  Besides … I hate weaves and all they stand for.”
Minnie: “Are you black?”
SBM: “Excuse me?  Do you know my middle name?”
Minnie: “To be against weaves is to be against black women … and the black race altogether!”

Yes, people … apparently, I stand in opposition of the entire black race … and all because of one thing …

I HATE BLACK WOMEN WEAVES!

It started so long ago too.  When I was in middle school, a girl came into school one day with long braids going down her back.  The boys in the class found this odd as she had short and straight hair the day before.  Being the natural born leader that I am, I started the interrogation with “What happened to your hair?”  After she explained it had been purchased, I suddenly remembered something I had heard before and loudly stated my conclusion, “you have horse hair in your head!  There is some poor horse running around without a tail right now, unable to swat flies of its butt.” (I was mean … sue me).  She tried feebly to explain you could buy human hair or synthetic … but it was too late … too late for her … too late for me.

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This continued through college as I learned more about these artificial lies to the world.  For a long long time … the thought of putting another human’s hair in your head disgusted me.  And most important… your hair ain’t that long!  You see me stuffing socks in my pants , as if there was anymore room down there? Stop with the lies!

The conclusion to this lifelong detestment … Chris Rock’s “Good Hair”.

Not to ruin the movie for you, but Indian woman as part of a religious ceremony give up their hair to show they are living for more than worldly possessions.

And what happens to the hair that meant so much to them … ends up in a bag on the wall of a beauty store … and then sewn into Shrarefatitee’s head.

*sigh*

Weaves are a lie to the world.

Yeah … a lie!

I understand we all do things to look better, but the only bigger visual lies out there require several hours at the hands of a skilled plastic surgeon.  And actually, that’s less of a lie because once he is done … it’s part of your body.  It can’t be snatched out by the crazy chic who your man has been sleeping with for the past three months and decides to teach you a lesson for walking in on their “hide the sausage” session some girl.

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And women … think of us men when you get these extensions put in … please.

When I spoon, I don’t want to be face first in the discarded hair cells of some other person several thousands miles away.  When I am giving you the bidness, to the 16th degree, and I reach to pull your face back, I don’t want to come back with a hand full of hair in my hand.  I am granted entry to the dirty dug out for the first time, I don’t want you to pull back your lace-front and expose to me eddie munster.

It’s just not fair …

So, as one Dating but not yet married Single Black Male … heed what I say.  Women, shed off those dead horses that adorn your scalp and lie to the world.  Let your inner nappiness (or professional permedness) show through.

I know you can do it …

Feel me???

***7:29am EST Update***

This is not the super pro natural hair post (although I do love it) and this isn’t the “weaved women hate themselves” post.  This is the “I don’t like women who never ever wear their own hair” post.  Not badmouthing perms now or even those wearing transitional weaves (as their hair grows out) … but this is aimed at the self-proclaimed weave queens.  I love you … but … kill yo self hair!

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SBM aka I rather have real hair than “Good Hair”

Comment(276)

  1. I swear by wigs, weaves, and nappyness. I will adjust my hair for a situation if necessary. But I never tell people/men its my hair. I'm upfront & honest about it not being my hair. And when I get it sewn in, Lord knows I get it sewn in tight, so if it gets pulled, its holding tight!!!

    1. Ditto!

      I am wearing weaves right now to grow my hair out and transition properly to natural again… Good thing my man just loves my hair as long as it looks good. He's pure genius. 🙂

      And he still pulls it.

        1. LOL ladies I so agree (1uppitynegress, JG and Ash Elle Aye) and SBM who added a disclaimer to the end of this post by saying "Not badmouthing perms now or even those wearing transitional weaves (as their hair grows out)"…he is not including any of us who have ever had to rock a weave so that our own hair could grow out of a perm etc… I always say though if you are going to wear one make sure it at least LOOKS natural, whether transitioning or just wanting to wear one in general. NOTHING is worse than a fake looking weave! My aunt has worn weaves for YEARS and to this day I can never tell when she has one in or when she doesn't… I do think there is a lot of freedom in just embracing YOUR own hair…whether you wear it nappy, pressed, or permed or coiled up…either way it is so freeing…this is from a converted woman smiles! I went from having hair down my back (all mine) to cutting it all off, then perming it too harshly, so it thinned out, then I got in the habit of trying to "cover" up my hair with weaves and wigs, but then after a summer of braids, I said "no more" this was 4 years ago and I've transitioned completely into my natural state and I LOVE MY HAIR! I wear it pressed and curly now and it is still not as voluminous as I desire it to be but it's getting there with a really good natural-hairstylist's help (shout out to Sherell in NJ)! I don't knock sisters who do choose to wear weaves because I know I had to do so at some point to transition between my relaxed hair to my now natural state…and that may be their situation. But I do agree with SBM to never embrace our own hair is (in my own words) a form of bondage; I say this from my own experiences and not to project on any other sistahs. Blessings all, great post SBM…

      1. Listen WEAVE DOES NOT MAKE YOUR HAIR GROW!! If that was the case, put paper on your hair, a crayon, confetti! Putting an Inanimate Object in your hair or weaving it to living hair DOES NOT MAKE IT GROW!!! That is such a ghetto wise tale!!!

        1. haha lol tell them. it is a ghetto tale that the hair will grow. and these poor ladies bliv it and use it as an excuse for lookin white hahahahahahaha

        2. Fake is fake… can't beat around that… Maybe if your eye color, eye lid color, lip color, finger nails, height, chest and belly weren't all fake then guys wouldn't mind so much… damn what's real anymore? Once you take all that off we don't even recognize you anymore…

        3. Weave can and does make your hair grow because if you take care of your hair underneath whole wearing your weave it will grow. I cut most of my hair off after not perming anymore when the whole world started going natural and my hair only grew back primarily because my hair was being protected from haesh chemicals I couldve been using and from me over washing which I used to do. Braids, weaves and protective styles can cause your hair to grow if done RIGHT.

  2. But let the record show that just because one wears weaves it doesn't mean they hate themselves.

    I wear jewelry because I think it looks nice, I wear lipgloss because I like the way it makes my lips look. I wear certain clothes because it makes my figure look nice. I don't hate myself.

    To each his own, to men that hate weaves regardless of the reason, date a woman that doesn't wear one… No harm no foul. LOL

    Had to add… for you to be okay with something being IMPLANTED over something that's removable…..

    Strange.

    One could kill me, the other could save me (i.e. the woman whose weave stopped a bullet from penetrating her brain. lol)

    At the end of the day though, it's just not that serious. It's hair.

    1. Yeah … it's not that serious … but even with that bullet stopping hair … she looked a hot mess.

      I do think it would be different if men had an equivalent to weaves … but we got's nothing but hard work at the gym and a well tailored suit.

    2. CO-SIGN JG!!

      The voice of reason.

      Wear what you think makes you look good…. Black woman don't owe africa any money nor do they owe anything to the white man.

      Wear what you like! You are more of a follower for wearing natural hair b/c Eraykah Baduu told you so than you are for wearing a perm. WHICH ATLEAST LOOKS GOOD!

      1. How "ig'nant" are you? Da hell?!! F**k celebrities and what they wanna do. Their hairstyle choices have nothing to do with what I, a college educated, daily wisdom seeking BLACK WOMAN decides to do with my head!!! Status quo rocks perms and weaves. If anything THAT'S being a follower. I'm pretty sure you're riding the bus with some musty matted, funky hair having crackheads, because women who really know how to take care of and style their gorgeous NATURAL HAIR it won't stink, sucka. I've smelled more cheesy scalp having chicks with perms whip their funky lil wrapped heads past me while I grab my nose…get a clue, for real.

        1. ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!! This is four months waaaay too late…but you really took this chick THERE! You're killing me mizz golden lady…killing. me.

    3. You are soooo right JG!!! I never understood why people equate weaves with self hate… I've done everything from long straight and silky weaves to afro weaves! I've also worn weaves in styles that are shorter than my own hair. As well as worn clip ins for highlights when I didn't want to color my own hair for fear of damaging it or because I just wanted the look for one night.

      It's funny because many men claim they don't like the way women with weaves look, but are constantly fooled by women who wear them. Most men were shocked to find out that Lauren London wears a weave and that her real hair is probably chin length at most! lol

      I can understand the idea of something "foreign or fake" being frightening, but all you have to do is stay away. Stop coming up with this false assumptions…

    4. i agree with this statement.

      i'm personally not a fan of weaves ( i only use 'em if there's a special occasion), but i think women (black AND white… yes, 2520s use weave aka "extensions" too) should do whatever makes them feel beautiful. if the dude doesn't like it, as JG said, he doesn't have to date/do her.

    5. It is serious! We hate ourself we are a bunch of Michael Jacksons anymore. When did we start wanting to be something we are not? make up is cosmetic, weave is a catastrophe. Fake hair has become part of our culture-and i'm ashamed..we will never have the full, healthy hair of the 80's if we keep this up. We will all be bald… I love when woman tell me they would never lock their hair cause it won't look right on them-meanwhile they look like they have a dead chicken on their heads.

    6. Wow…stopped a bullet, dam! …thats a serious weave. Its ok to wear a weave every now and then but sistas sleep in the mofo! …every night! dam, let it go. And half of them just look rediculous. I swear its like they dont even have a clue. I dont understand why they think it looks good…it looks krazy. Btw, white women know that youre trying to look like them.

  3. I agree with this post completely. It is so much better to embrace your natural beauty. How can you expect men to be real with you & you won't even show your real self? God made us all beautiful as we are. Weaves are sometimes used as crutches. Me, I'm natural… Happy to be nappy & he Black men LOVE IT!!! I get compliments on the curly fro daily. Oh, white men love it too. People love when you embrace your uniqueness… There is nothing unique about a weave. Don't get me wrong I've worn braids but I've never been a fan of the fakeness. This comment isn't meant to offend anybody. Just my opinion. Peace.

  4. Um…… wow I didn't know having a weave was synonymous to being a black woman because I don't identify with weaves at all I thought it was synonymous with trying to fit in with something that is not natural to you that statement alone made me want to comment on this before even reading the whole article………….I call women with weaves Children of the Oppressor because they are still mentally enslaved and thinking that what they have is not enough. I personally got a weave once when going to a formal event I had recently cut my hair and went natural and was not completely comfortable with myself and my change, I went and got one and absolutely hated it. I honestly have gotten more compliments since I went natural then I ever did with a perm. It saddens me deeply that women have this negative view of themselves and are not content with what they have to the point that your view means being against weave is against black women, what's gonna be the next excuse to be against fake asses is to be against the black woman as well especially with the invention of booty pop.

  5. *slow clap* Thank you, SBM. I've been natural for the past 11 years so some would put me in the Natural Hair Nazi category, which means my anti-weave sentiments fall on deaf ears. But what really counts is when this sort of proclamation comes from a man, and I'm happy to see you come forth and profess it. Seems like it would be more enjoyable for a man to have a woman sans weave, cuz I know if I paid ridiculous amounts of money to have someone else's hair sewn into my head (YUCK!!! It's icky to find someone else's hair on my sweater!) I wouldn't want anyone to touch it. And as a woman who enjoys a lil scalp rubbing and hair pulling, that would not do AT ALL.

    And the idea that anti-weave = anti-black???? Puh-leeeeeze!!! If anything, sewing the discarded hair of some woman of another race is anti-black. Your own black hair as God created it is beautiful. Don't cover it with someone else's.

    All you weave addicts, you're not fooling anybody. And 60% of the time, the ish looks raggedy. Stop the madness. Please.

      1. I really don't see any "shots" in my comments, unless you are one of the chicks out here with raggedy weaves. Hit some nerves, did I?

        And my "anti-black" comment was to show the ridiculousness of that assertion period from either perspective. I hate all those "self hate" and "not black enough" statements. I am praising black women's God created beauty. And I get insults in return about my grooming habits?? WTF??

      1. I wash my natural hair WAY more than any woman with a weave or a perm for that matter. My natural hair smells magnificent, and if you think natural hair smells just because it is natural….. man oh man. Talk about some REAL self hate, or at the very least, extreme ignorance. Educate yourself before you start "returning fire".

  6. Do non-Black men ever complain about non-Black women wearing extensions? OR do Black men complain about non-black women wearing weaves? Like, does Reggie Bush loathe Kim K's weave or Lamar- Khloe's? <Just asking…. *shrug*.

    I wore extensions for 1 year several yrs ago when I was allowing my hair to grow back after wearing it short for two years. I sorta really disliked wearing the weave BUT it helped my hair grow (went from a relaxed pixie to naturally curly hair reaching the middle of my back in about 9 months).

    I HATE that ppl automatically assume because I'm Black and my hair is almost waist length that it's a weave. It's all mine when they think I'm Hispanic but when I tell them,

    "No… I'm African-American." then I get,

    "Oh, so you wear extensions?"

    me: O_o …Wha?

    1. I make no color distinction in my weave hating. Whether it's Becky Sue or Foxy Brown … I still can't pull it the way I want to.

      And I forgot to point out that it seems to be mainly us that truly embrace and take to weaves. The reason people don't assume a latin woman has a weave (besides naturally straight hair) is that their not known for them and their entire race hasn't been stamped as "weave wearers".

    2. People always assume my hair is a weave and to hear Chris Rock, every Black woman is wearing a weave or doing the creamy crack in their hair. I get so tired of having to explain to people that this really is my own hair. Then I get the mixed race questions. I am Black as far as I know and as society treats me. Now that I have hair that can grow, the new issue is you must not really be that Black if you can grow hair?

      1. Mack,

        I totally agree. I'm a black woman who has worn a weave only once! And that was when the doo doo braids were in style. I can grow my hair down to my waist and have to defend every inch of it to guess who…………………black women themselves! They automatically think it's weave because of the texture and some are just simply haters. It's so ridiculous!! I find that Asian women and white women are surprised that black women can get their hair down to their waist and it's really sad because this weave culture is making us really look like we can't handle our own hair or just simply too LAZY to deal with it. And like you said, if it's long then people assume, you must be mixed. If I could get black women to learn about their own hair, keep it healthy and learn how to grow it long I would go on a crusade. Unfortunately, black women seem to be quite happy with making Asians and East Indian women (who mostly hate us) rich by spending butt loads of money on hair that does not belong to them. I just don't get it!

        Yes………..white women wear weaves but they aren't spending millions of dollars on this crap either. They take the time to learn how to make their hair healthy. It's not that hard. Learn your hair, research hair products and dah dah……………you too can grow long healthy hair without giving all your hard earned money to people that hate you!

  7. I think what black men need to be against is white supremacy. Once you conquer that there will be no more weaves and want to be black barbies.

    Teach your daughter about African history, acknowledge natural African beauty and you will stop seeing weaves.

    Turn off the tel-lie-vision and stop allowing your children to be consumed by subliminal white supremacist thoughts and I guarantee the weaves will start to disappear.

    Stop talking about how you want a woman with long silky hair brain washing little girls into thinking that that is what beauty is and they will stop wearing weave.

    Now with that being said try critical thinking FIRST before you criticize cause the problem may exist via your own self-hating practices.

    Peace and bless

    1. If someone kills my mother, can I not blame them for their decision or must I only address the system that "created" them?

      I realize this is one manifestation of a larger problem but just as I will strive to address it in my own home and outside, more women can strive to not use another person's hair. I'm not speaking out against perms, which go hand in hand with your argument, but my beef isn't with straight hair. It's something about taking the hair of another human being as your own that doesn't sit well with me.

    2. doingthemost.com

      so if a man doesn't like weaves he has to take a stand against the "man"? wouldn't it be easier to just find a woman who doesn't wear them?

    3. Damn that's a pretty bold racist comment… blame mainstream hip hop not white people… Since when do you see whites walking around with weaves anyways? My black beautiful sisters need to just stay natural and not give into the stereotypical culture that is portrayed on television. Please pick up a book and educate yourself…

  8. thank you. thank you. thank you. me too. i just – can't. i can't embrace what the weave symbolizes. i hate the idea of my man not being able to put his hands in my hair. and i absolutely detest the idea of allergic to rain or not being able to swim.

    to each their own – truly – but it does pain me to see how addicted we are to long, straight hair.

    …and i especially agree with Unheeded. The tightly curled roots with the silky plastic (often matted) on the ends is crazy. the latch-hook pre-braids looped around the kinky cornrows make me cringe. and don't get me started on the "ponytails."

    as an ex-braid/perm person – i have never loved my hair more than when i loc'ed.

    kind of off topic but apropos – did anybody notice how in the love scene of avatar the girl lost her natural braids? they straightened her hair to make her "beautiful." that kind of coding really bothers me…. and i think it's part of what sends the distorted message of what the standard of beauty is. crazy (or not) as it sounds, my aunt was just telling me that the same thing happens in Tyler Perry's current play. too often what we are told/taught is that that "look" is better and sexier.

    i think that's why this post is just so… refreshing to hear.

  9. I am a woman, and i'm not a big fan of the weave generation either…i think sometimes black women have forgotten that our mothers and grandmothers managed to look good without weaves. Women were doing just fine long before we could import hair and nails from Asian countries. It's because of this that I think it's hilarious that there are black women who believe weave= being a black woman; if that's truly the case, then what were black women two decades ago, before all this started?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgTuPoNfAAc

    It should be noted however, that men in the entertainment industry (namely, rappers) are PARTLY responsible for the weave epidemic in the black community. Reality is, people often look to television to learn what's hot and in style. If more rappers would make an effort to put more diverse representations of women in their videos outside of the tan skin and back length hair, maybe there wouldn't be so many women believing they have to fit this image to be sexy.

    That's why i always used to love Heavy D, the women in his videos were always diverse and while some of them may have worn weaves, it was actually acceptable for them to wear their own hair and nails (tatas and bottoms) as well.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntdyLt5lRuo

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJEbfeG2oAE

  10. Uggh I have read tons of your articles and never commented but this one I could not let go………………….I am an avid weave wearer and it is not because "I hate myself" or my black roots. I simply like the convenience it provides because I am a young college woman on the go busy with school, work, and my sorority. I am actually currently transitioning to natural hair not because I want to be more "BLACK or ethnic" but simply because I prefer my natural hair texture. I do not believe that having silky straight extensions vs. kinky curly fro's can truly determine your love for yourself. I know PLENTY of natural women that have no higher self esteem than women with weaves. Self- esteem comes from within and should not be judged by outwardly appearances. Didn't your mother ever tell you not to judge a book by its cover.

    I know I'm going on a tangent right about now but to get back on track, I know plenty of men who don't like weaves and I know others that don't care as long as the weave is looking tight. I have never had complaints when someone wanted to pull it during some wrestling * cough, cough* btw…………………..the point is that my hair looks good whether I grew it or bought it from Ming-Lee's Beauty Supply on Flatbush, as long as it looks good what does it matter??

    Good Day

    1. Looking good isn't then end all be all and I'm pretty sure if I wrote a post praising breast or butt implants I would have caught hell.

      I should have made this clearer, but I'm not saying the world needs to go natural. I'm not telling people they aren't black or lack self-esteem (other arguments … but not mine). I'm saying … love what you have and rock what you love.

      For those in transition or in it temporary … I'll give you a pass. But those life long weave queens (you know who you are) … *shaking head*

      1. I think what SBM is saying is that HE would never date a woman with weave, but I'm sure plenty of other men do and don't give three hots of two damns as long as they really love their woman.

  11. Perhaps you are a growing minority or something, I am not sure, so if you and all your SBM cohorts have changed overnight, I didn't get the memo. You lost credibility when you said you would rather have real hair than "good hair". What you fail to truly acknowledge is so MANY black men define "good hair" as something "other" than the "real hair" that black women naturally grow in their heads. Like your example, it started way back in grade school, when the girl with the "good" long flowing hair/ponytail got the attention of all the boys and the girls either hated her or wanted to be her best friend because everybody like her for nothing more that having a head full of long flowing hair. So the girl with the "fake ponytail" was just trying to get in where she could. We all know it & need to stop denying it. As Afua said, at the core it's white supremacy at its best. I recognize it for what it is & deal with THAT first. Please don't get the Natural Hair Nazi's started because it's a pointless debate with them that never ends. How I choose to wear my hair is not always a symbol of self pride OR self hate. I think its an individual decision and I detest all of the generalizations and assumptions & accusations on both sides. Everybody's experience is not the same. For every natural hair diva that talks about how much attention and affirmation she gets for wearing her hair natural, trust and believe, whenever I wear weave, especially when I change it up and go longer,change the texture, or sew in more hair, I get plenty of positive attention as well and this is from men and women who KNOW its weave, not because it looks bad, but simply because I don't front about it and am not ashamed. I once overhead some guys talking, and this man said, he didn't date women who wear their hair natural or with dreads because "they look like they stink ! "How stupid is that ! So if you are making a choice based on OTHERS perceptions, trust and believe, they run the gamut ! Women make decisions about their hair for various reasons, some women go natural because chemicals have damaged their hair, but everyone who has used chemicals on their hair does not necessarily have damage. Some women have naturally thin hair, or can't get the volume or length that they prefer , or have alopecia, or male pattern baldness, or cancer, or what have you. They want to achieve a certain look so they wear weaves, extensions, etc. I have two friends that have been natural for several years, that have recently gone back to perming their hair. I have another friend who just cut the perm out to transition to natural. What does it really matter to you ? Like one poster said, if you don't like it, then don't date women that wear weaves ! Let that be your first question on the "dating interview". It's no different than not dating a woman because she has kids, or not dating someone because they don't have a certain level of education, or because their a homeowner, etc. It's your personal preference, just know there are many men who COULDN'T CARE LESS ! They would gladly date, Beyonce, Gabrielle Union, Nia Long, Taraji Henson, who proudly wear weaves, without blinking and eye. I'm not sure where you were partying when you made this observation, but I could take you to some places where you would be UNABLE to pick out the weave wearers. People who spend nice money on the high end hair & proper technique. What you may have meant to say was " I Hate "Bad" Weaves " ! LOL Like someone else mentioned, it smacks of hypocrisy to be OK with a BOOB JOB but have a problem with weave, but I recognize it's your preference and respect that.

    1. Not "OK" with a boob job … I didn't say all that.

      Not telling you to go natural … didn't say all that either.

      I hate all weaves … not just bad ones … I did say that.

      While I speak for the people … I speak for myself first. The "I" in the title might have hinted at that.

      This post isn't aimed at women with special conditions … because that is the minority on this topic. I am talking to the "I got good hair … but it could be 'gooder'" types.

      1. So just to be clear SBM?

        You would not take down Beyonce, Gabrielle Union, Nia Long, Taraji Henson or A Keys… b/c they have weaves..

        but you would take down Badu or L Boogie (post mental breakdown)…

        I'm sorry. That isn't acceptable.

        1. There are plenty of others out there that are natural and not mental… 70% of what you see on women these days is fake… it's not until you see them the next morning that you know what they really look like and if you can deal with the fact again…

  12. "I know PLENTY of natural women that have no higher self esteem than women with weaves. Self- esteem comes from within and should not be judged by outwardly appearances."

    Wow, this statement is ooooooh so very TRUE. I think it's funny how some women actually believe that "going natural" makes them somehow more spiritually/intellectually/socially above someone who isn't.

    I actually had a friend who recently went natural, and let's just say, it hasn't changed her as much as she would like to believe that it has; All it has done is feed her ego-centrism.

    To put it shortly, she's the type that prides herself for being unique and different, but upon realizing that her tastes/attributes aren't as "different" as once thought, she doesn't stay true to herself or interests; she tries to find something else to set her apart from others. She didn't go natural because she likes natural hair and loves being close to her roots (as she claims), she went natural because everyone else ISN'T natural. If every black woman in America were to go natural tomorrow, she would be the 1st one to RELAX or WEAVE her hair simply because she NEEDS to be different.

    There's nothing wrong with wanting to be different. There's nothing wrong with wanting others to acknowledge your uniqueness. But if that's the REAL reason you're choosing to do something, don't try to make it seem like it's for some "greater cause of humanity" when it's more-so you wanting people do a double take when you walk by.

    But in all honesty, I do wish more black women would embrace diversity. I don't have a problem with a black woman who wants to wear a weave, It just annoys me that it seems like EVERYBODY wants to wear a weave. I think it would actually bother me just as much if all black women decided to go natural and never perm or color or braid or weave their hair again. But then again, I just like diversity.

  13. This is the most pointless ridiculous argument i gave ever read. Weaves arent just for black people. Who cares if someone wants longer hair. Get over it, and sbm , your a guy, why do you care about girls hair so much? I actually cant believe people take this so seriously. Its sad.

  14. you must have a good eye SBM…unless it's blatently fake, i can never tell a weave..sh*t, so long as homegirl's hair look nice on her, i really don't care what she rockin' up there (so long as it's not some Michael Jordan baldie)

  15. Hmmmm interesting/silly post. I like to change hairstyles , frequently. And a weave allows me to do so. A- I have not purchased any hair longer than 10inches so my weave is all down my back. B- I purchase high quality hair and have a great weave that cuts and coifs the hair to suit me. My S/o has no complaints. I go from weaves to my regular hair all the time. And I e never had a problem with having my hair pulled and it comming out.

    Lastly, if a man or anyone who decides to critique my hair is not paying for it, styling it for me in the mornings before work or going through the "process" that is washing my hair, you can kick rocks. Btw- I swim, walk in the rain w/o an umbrella Irrespecti e of my hair do

  16. Oh boy SBM I'm on the fence about this one. On the one hand I think you're entitled to your opinion and if you don't like weaves then okay. On the other hand I think here we go. Yet another entry in the black man's looooong list of complaints about black women.

    I've been on both sides of the weave fence; and I can tell you there are as many reasons why women wear weaves as there are brands of yaki on the wall. Yes, some women are trying to be something they're not and they will try to make you believe all that hair is hers. Yes some women are brainwashed and don't believe their natural hair is attractive. But also – and this is one thing men cannot understand – caring for natural hair is a lot of work. So some women wear weaves just for the convenience of it. Or to protect the natural hair that you value so highly.

    I agree with you that it's a sad state of affairs when being anti-weave is equated to being anti-black. But I think you need to cut the ladies a little slack on this one. It's a much more complex issue than you're making it out to be.

    1. I have talked about and argued this point a lot of times, so I have a good idea of the complexity of the argument. Watching Chris' documentary though made me come back to the issue and have to talk about it.

      Again though … not telling you to rock the natural if it really is too much work. But is the only way to get "manageable" hair to take it from another human being?

      1. You can get 'manageable' hair that is synthetic, man-made hair. But those are of a lesser quality and cost upwards of $7 a pack. Not sure how your like your women to look, but I gave up the Kanekalon hair back in high school…

  17. I wear weaves sometimes, definitely not lace front, ewwww. but weaves that look very natural and people have to ask twice to know if its my hair. this helps my hair grow and short hair like mine is hard to maintain most times……

    1. Yeah me too. I have only worn one sew in and most of the time I wear braided in extensions but I don't ever wear lacefront wigs. I think that is so nasty anyways we wear weaves because it easy and more managable but I want to wear my hair natural. I think it is better to go natural and be natural because your hair grows healthier and longer than before weaves and relaxers. I want to go natural and I agree with the guy who posted that he hates weaves. This post should be a wake up call to most Black women across the country. A LOT of Black men don''t find us appealing with fake hair attached on your heads! Plus weaves aren't good for your hair. I looked it up: prolonged use of weaves causes breakage and hair loss. Unless you take care of your hair under the weave.

  18. I have never had a weave. I love my hair the length it is. I've had it natural and relaxed. Relaxed is easier to work with running to a job 9 to 7. But I totally agree with you. I see these women walking down the street with a foot long of hair down their backs that you know is pure fake and they look ridiculous. Or they have what I call the Marilyn Monroe syndrone. No where in history has a black woman ever had blond hair. Keep it for Halloween. Black woman should take more pride in the naturalness that the almight gave them. I know for a while white women where doing the braid thing, but that was a quick 10 minute Bo Derek moment. They're done with it. Why can't we just let it go. You all look crazy out there with hair that is not yours!

  19. Hmmmm interesting/silly post. I like to change hairstyles , frequently. And a weave allows me to do so. A- I have not purchased any hair longer than 10inches so my weave is all down my back. B- I purchase high quality hair and have a great weave that cuts and coifs the hair to suit me. My S/o has no complaints. I go from weaves to my regular hair all the time. And I e never had a problem with having my hair pulled and it comming out.

    Lastly, if a man or anyone who decides to critique my hair is not paying for it, styling it for me in the mornings before work or going through the "process" that is washing my hair, you can kick rocks.I'm lazy with a lot of things. Hair included. I don't usually feel like waking up 30mins earlier to style and coif my hair. And I never knew braids were considered "weaves". There are paintings of African women wearing braids that date back to the late 17th century.

    Btw- I swim, walk in the rain w/o an umbrella IrrespectiV e of my hair do

  20. Dang SBM…tell us how you really feel, lol. I don't like weaves—–ON ME.., I have no problems with other folk wearing them, even if the look tacky and fiftyeleven colors running through them *shrugs* it's not my head and I didn't pay for it. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and obviously weaves aren't beautiful to you….so be it. I'm a natural chick, but far from a nazi, I just don't care that much about who, what, when or why somebody is natural/relaxed/weaved/whatever…it doesn't affect my life as I'm not trying to run my fingers thorough anybody's head but my own.

    Some people do have deeper issues about their hair, some don't. I'm not going to psychoanalyze one who has a weave down to her arse anymore than a sista walking around relaxed or natural, nor am I going to assume they have identity issues (not saying you are with this post)….that's just stupid to me.

    One thing that did bother me though was your attitude regarding the person wearing weaves/extension being that it disgusted you…You really think that the right way to get someone to listen to you about wearing weaves is to tell someone they disgust you? Come on now…..trying to accentuate a positive (which in this post is wearing your own hair) by spewing negativity is not going to work. Hell I'm tempted to go get a weave just to spite you, lol.

    1. Positive isn't really my forte. I tried to find a less harsher word than disgust, but at the end of the day "I gotta be me".

      Don't support this slave hair trade in spite of me … Noooooo

      1. Yeah I can tell…I've been reading for a minute and there were many times I was tempted to throw my shoe at you! LOL. But boo-boo…you need to be more positive (at least try dangit, and don't be shaking your head at me either, lol).

  21. I feel you SBM. I think what you're trying to say is switch it up every now and then…rock the weave for awhile, and then your "real" hair for awhile….personally, I have never had a weave and I have some length to my own hair and its thick…I don't really see the need to do a weave…but, family and friends swear by it. They say its very convenient and its just easier to deal with…….I do agree with you on this post though.

  22. Hmm, did you just need to get that off your chest, lol? I'm not going to knock your view that weaves are disgusting – I wouldn't try to convince a vegetarian that bacon is great either. I've been meaning to put some weave in for about 8 years now and just can't seem to go there. Some people definitely look better with weave, while others (me) just look like we're wearing silly hair hats. I just wanna have highlights without dyeing my hair!

    I would point out, though – ladies, watch the frequency of all things meant to imitate your natural beauty because they usually take away from what you have naturally. Nails and hair especially. Fake nails (all the time) and fake hair (if done wrong) will wreck your nails and hair. Then what was a "special treat" will become required maintenance to keep you from looking like a scarecrow. Dang beauty industry – I smell a swindle.

    1. Thank you Ms. Obvious. I'm so glad you helped to realize this.

      I'm just saying … I thought people came here because they liked to hear what we had to say? My bad …

      1. I love to hear what you have to say But dont get mad when your called on it Its so sad this is all taken so seriously Its hair its just hair To each his own If you dont like weave that is you and You are entitled to your opinion But let your opinion be just that Your reasoning being you cant pull it or spoon with it Ha! I wonder how much of a factor it played in you geting the honey into that positionBut thats my opinion Im sure before she knew shed be in your bed she had that same damn weave in her head So now you mad Kick rocks

        If your choosing to not date or ceaase to date a woman because of her weave Damn You shallow

        Im sure white latina and asian yes asian men have that same complaint of weave They just dont put they stuff on blast like we do To each his own You do you Why be up in sombody elses sauce If you dont like weave Dont date weave

        Sisters if you dont like weave Dont wear weave Its so simple

        And if anyone here thinks we alone have embraced and single handedly support the weave industry You are sadly mistaken White women have been wearing weaves and wigs in their heads since the invention of hollywood and and wigs go back even further That being said Again Its not that serious

        If you really love spoonin and pullin hair all that can be worked out She may need a new weave tech lol to tighten her up and wrap it up to spoon Dont be such a baby lol

  23. Question: What If I'm rocking a kinky weave? LOL Does that mean I only half hate myself?

    Like I said above, I have been wearing weave off and on for the past 7 months to grow my hair out and it's working wonders. I won't really need weave once I reach the length I want, but I may still wear it. I've gotten it short, and I've gotten it shoulder length. Curly and straight. The way some people are talking it's like weave wearing women only walk around with ass length Indian hair. Uhhhh. I aint never worn Indian hair because a) it's too expensive and b) it won't match my texture…

    But I'd like to add, not all people who wear weave are trying to fool you. My face is my face no matter how much hair I have. Men, stop acting like the minute I take my weave out I look like a freakin monster. It's just not true.

    Also people in general, stop acting like my wearing weave is me selling out to the white man. I'm not oppressed or enslaved about anything. There are far more ways to sell out than wear weave. I can still tell at 13 year old girl with tight natural coils that she's beautiful while I'm wearing a weave, and believe that because TO ME…. hair is just… HAIR! I wear mine straight, curly, natural, sometimes permed, etc because it's just hair. I do a ALOT for my community all day everyday because that's what I dedicate my time to. Don't tell me that just because you're natural you are holding down black people. It takes more than that.

    If you define yourself by your hair, have at it….. Me… I'll continue to do what's fun for me, which includes not being oppressed by ANYONE. White men, european standards of beauty, black men who also have european standards of beauty, black men who rant, and women who want me to have hair like them.

    Sorry SBM. 🙂

    1. You were one major reason for my "update" because I do recognize the utility in transitional weaves (temporary for the purpose of growing length) and I'm not claiming anyone is "selling out" by getting a weave. Big topics in the female community, but not so much from the male standpoint.

      And please don't underplay the importance of hair. Men care and women car. If it was "just hair" women wouldn't be spending hundreds every month (thousands in rare cases) to maintain this fake hair (numbers confirmed by Chris Rock).

      1. A) I said "to me" which implies that TO ME.. it's just hair. LOL Clearly to Beyonce, it gets her paid (Loreal) So her weave is a breadwinner…

        (and believe you me, if my hair was netting me millions, I'd put an entire horse on my head if that's what they wanted… eff anyone who says they wouldn't. LOL)

        B) I wasn't responding to YOU in that post, but just to the people who were making those comments and believe them to be true.

        C) My apology was for the hijacking. You know I'm long winded.

      2. The women spending that kind of money a month on hair are obviously not in your bed You would have the problems your exsperiancing cause you would not know it was weave lol

  24. I'm a partial lurker, but I must say something about this topic. I'm in total agreement with BC first. Second, in this country, straight hair is seen as the standard of beauty, despite race. Relaxers and weaves accomplish most of that and for those natural, flat irons as well. Now, that being said, I don't agree with weaves being used as a crutch and "tricking" or lying to people if they ask. BUT, natural or relaxed hair is hard to take care of it you want it healthy. I'm currently transitioning to natural and am using a variety of methods, weaves being one. I'm not a HUGE fan of weaves either, BUT I'm using it to accomplish a goal and honestly to change up my look. Also, weaves afford you the opportunity for the "fried, dyed, and laid to the side" look without sacrificing your hair. Unfortunately, a lot of BW do not know how to take care of their hair underneath and have to rely on the weave. We are the ONLY race of people where our natural hair is NOT OK and perpetuated by the media and sadly our own people, esp. BM sometimes. I was natural years ago and always got compliments from white dudes but couldn't get NO play from the brothers. I mean really, how backwards is that and that is not just my story; I've heard it time and again…so if I REALLY felt that bad about myself, I could've thrown a weave in and got some dudes to AT LEAST glance my way. For me, it's not that serious. Since then, I've been relaxed, texlaxed, and now transitioning back to natural because actually my hair just doesn't like the chemicals anymore and I'm more in tune with how to manage my hair so that it'll be fly either way. So, instead of bashing BW and weaves, and jumping on the Chris Rock bandwagon, encourage BW to get their hair to a healthy state so that weaves aren't necessary.

    Also, WW were wearing weaves LONG before BW. We just were more vocal about it than they were/are. But they're more vocal about plastic surgery and we're not, so let's not make weaves synonymous with black women. It's just harder to tell on them.

    1. It was a BW that told me I was against all black people because of my preference.

      She was the one saying weave = black people. IDK … I just can't get with the weave queens.

      As a wearer of a transitional weave, you are exempt from my remarks.

      1. Whoever the BW who said that weave = black people is ignorant. Sorry to be harsh, but she is. Like I said, WW have worn it longer and more but just keep it hush hush because it looks so "natural" on them. And we buy into that, thinking only BW wear weaves. *Sigh*…

  25. i dunno – i see women with pretty weaves and i admire their ability to pull it off. i wear my hair naturally and i also don't wear make-up and i keep my nails short. that is just the way that i am, i really am just too busy to waste time with the girlie stuff. i don't feel one way or the other about how black women wear their hair. i care about how I WEAR my hair. i just want it to be conditioned, healthy and strong.

    i do agree with what another poster wrote though, it seems as though it's just another thing in the long list of what people don't like about black women and i know for a fact that white women put in more extensions than we do! did anybody watch jersey shore? those chicks had more fake hair than a little bit plastered on their heads but i didn't hear anybody complaining about it.

    oh well — it is what it is.

  26. Interesting post. As a lisenced cosmetologist in NYC, I do weaves all the time. I think they are fabulous! I think you just hate "bad" weaves. As long as the female maintains the hair, wears styles that are suited for her and continues to maintain the health of her own natural hair in between the weaves, you should not encounter any of the issues stated above. AND, since I know better 🙂 I won't take this post as being an attack on black women. Everyday I stitch, braid, or bond up some young woman's hair that is paying me good money to do so. And the person in my seat is more than often not black.

  27. I hate that Chris Rock's documentary is being hailed as the Holy Bible of Hair. It wasn't all that… women who went into that film & instantly changed, needed saving from themselves anyway. It was a film… based on his opinion, no less. BOOOOO to that ish. It was enjoyable but that's where the train stops for me.

    I have personally run the freaking gamut when it comes to hair. I was permed as child, when natural as an adolescent through college, permed again & now I'm in debate on what to do next but make no mistake — all and throughout there… I wore weaves. I wore weaves when it was natural & I wore weaves when it wasn't. Life is too short to be stuck in one style forever & I like to change it up. I have no qualms about my natural/relaxed hair, but I know when I wanna have some waves for it week… my natural hair ain't gon cooperate. So I buy it. *shrugs* I hate myself no less and I think of myself no less than the African Queen that I am. When I do my beauty pageants, I weave it up… no not b/c I am being judged on how well I fit with the white man's standards… but b/c as a seasoned pageant contestant I know that real hair under stage lights w/ all that sweating I'm gonna do is IMPOSSIBLE. (I've tried it, I know…)

    Anywhozers… I guess what I'm trying to get at is to each his own. Weaves work for me b/c I like change and my natural hair isn't as versatile as one might think. I'm not walking around w/ lengths that reach my butt or textures that would be impossible for me to attain. Right now, I'm weaving it up b/c I'm not sure what I want to do and I'm protecting my God given gift while I'm deciding… it rained like hell today and I didn't need an extra large umbrella or run like the natural nazi's were behind me either…

    #imjustsayin

    1. ITA with the first sentence! Chris Rock is a freakin' comedian!! A COMEDIAN! When did he become an authority on anything really, other than comedy? And especially BW's hair? I could actually let him slide if he were a BW or whatever, but I mean, I can't give him ANY accolades on producing that ish, posing as a documentary.

    2. It was a movie based on his opinion … but he did present a lot of fact.

      And I'm gonna need everyone to burn Steve Harvey's book and then pee on the ashes for the same reasons. Did he even have any facts or fly to India for his?

  28. Interesting you aren't anti "professional permedness," which is also a form of someone altering their natural state, but you're loudly proclaiming that you are anti-weave…So what are you saying? That you consider a black woman beautiful when she has long, straight hair but you don't want her to wear a weave while she either a) tries to give you what you want or b) tries to grow her hair by wearing the sew-in?

    I currently wear my hair in big, fluffy 'fro, but as a woman whose own natural hair has been almost to her waist and who in the past, has worn almost every style (including relaxers, weaves, and braids), I don't think we should judge anyone for wearing their hair the way they do. If a woman feels confident and good in her skin, that should matter more than anything else.

  29. & another thing… not all human hair = Indian hair, that really bugged me about his film.

    & not all Indian hair is stolen from a religious ceremony, I won't doubt that some is but there are hair farms (of which I was told when I visitied Asia) where women sell for compensation.

  30. Oh and let me add that men do have an equivalent. What is that stuff? Beigen? That colors in hairlines? Maybe it's not common where you're from SBM, but I've seen it a bit in the South. So watch what ya say!

    And then there's this:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sfoz-IW-Tk&fe

    A barber is modeling hair tatooing for black men.

    Sure it may not be as common as women who wear weave, but it does happen. Hair is an issue for men too.

  31. I've never ever understood how wanting to diversify your hair equated self hate. I have worn my hair natural for 11 years. When I went natural it wasn't cool or popular and folks asked me was I trying to be a revolutionary. I replied I wasn't trying but already was one. I've hit the streets protested, did outreach & activism w/my happy nappy & with my weave. I'm just saying its so much stuff happening in the world to incorrectly identify hair weave=assimilation is insane. No disrespect SBM, you have a right to your opinion & I honor it, but the folks that have decided weave was a cultural expression against self? Bananas!! The weaves I rock are generally curly, same texture as my natural hair, but I rock them to give my hair a break.

    Also all the people that equate self-hate w/weave wearing I ask you to read this poem. The other has since locked her hair, but the mindset is still valid: http://m.facebook.com/note.php?rbf963fb9&note

  32. “You see me stuffing socks in my pants…” insert eye roll here –> [ ]. I know this is about the only argument that is the male equivalent to getting any enhancements (whether it’s a weave or cosmetic surgery), but, the things women do, and what men do to “make themselves look good” will NEVER be equal, so #stopit5.

    The argument that women who like to wear weaves harbor self hatred and are oppressed, is a load of rubbish! I interchange between weaves and my real hair all the time; I like to switch it up. I even wore my hair unrelaxed for few years; I say to each’s own. One thing I can’t stand, are the “Natural Nazis” looking down their noses at women choose to relax their hair/ wear weaves. #ChildPlease! Just because your hair is unrelaxed doesn’t make you “natural”. How bout you go for the gold and really go “au naturale”? No perms; no shaving (and/or) waxing legs/pits/eyebrows; no deodorant; no perfume, ‘cuz none of that is “natural” either.

    If given the opportunity to be with Halle Berry, Janet Jackson, or Gabrielle Union (etc.) I highly doubt that any of these men who are apart of the “Down With Weave” revolution would fix their lips to say “Nah dawg, she wear a weave doe” and have that be a deal breaker…

    I feel whatever you do to your hair is your business. Unrelaxed, relaxed, weaves, locs, bald whatever! if it makes you feel good, go for it!

  33. SBM, thank you for sharing your thoughts. It is more than ok for you to hate weaves and the women that wear them (the last part was a joke). I respect your opinion.

    I have nothing against hairstyles as long as they are worn tastefully and kept clean. Where I'm from, we wear weaves, wigs, braids (with or without extensions), natural, permed, shaven…you name it, we wear it and we embrace it all. We celebrate the diverse nature of our hair instead of trying to degrade those that wear theirs differently. This hair war is new to me and I think Black women need to quit looking for something to constantly divide themselves over. If its not hair, its skin shade, or buttocks size or education…by God just stop it already. Your hair in whatever style it is in, only shows how you take care of yourself. All that other..it shows you are in touch with your roots is pure rubbish. Most people can tell where I am from by my attitude and behavior…no one has ever said you are so and so because of my hair. I get more ignorant comments about "the motherland" from the natural hair wearers than I do anyone else (and I am not keeping score :-p). You want to know how to get in touch with your ancestry, do it by portraying their ways (well the good ones) and know that they did not and do not look down on each other because of their hairstyles. Wear whatever you want and leave the next person alone, it is their choice. Teach your children and the girls in your sphere of influence that their beauty does not rest on superficial things like hair (cause that stuff is not permanent). Forgive my long rant. Great blog Sir!!

  34. wow 54 comments already. I wear weave and can't stop won't stop. LOL Actually I did stop, I was a weave queen in high school and didn't wear weave again until I was 26 years old–I went on a 8 year hiatus. And when I get paid on this Friday I'll be calling my distributor to get my good indian remy too. This is funny. as long as it doesn't look a hot mess I don't understand why men have such strong opinions about it. *shrugs* its a good protective style and a good way to switch up your look without damaging your own hair.

    1. There are EXACTLY 99 comments now so I'm sure my opinion or reply will get "lost" or don't even matter…but I'll tag on to Reecie's comment because I scrolled down and found a "familiar" and her sentiment is just as mine would be. LOL. I switch my hair up OFTEN. Curly, straight, cut, grown-out, curls, pinned up…full sew-in…just a few tracks here and there…all me and sometimes…not all me. LOL! Its not that serious to me and the men i've dealth with have never taken issue with it AT ALL. I agree…as long as it looks nice and well-kept I'm all for it. Do what makes you happy and EFF the rest.

  35. i thought "good hair" was pretty shallow. it was entertaining but i expected more. i thought it would be an in-depth analysis and documentary-style discussion. ice-t and al sharpton spoke the truth though. i love ice-t now and i had definitely dismissed him as a coon before. anywho…

    the arguments that black women who wear weaves hate themselves or their natural texture are silly (disclaimer: i realize that this was not the message or argument of the original post so please do not state the obvious in replies to me). i think that argument DEFINITELY applies to some women, but obviously not all. i consider my hair an accessory. I'm natural and when my curly fro goes better with an outfit, i'll wear it out and natural. some outfits look better with my hair straightened. i've only gotten a weave once but i loved it. it was constricting with some outfits though because the long hair didn't go w/ everything i wanted to wear. however, it was extremely convenient and cut down so much time in getting ready in the morning. if i could afford a weave, i would be weaved up much more often. the point is that i feel completely comfortable and confident in my fro, blow-out, and weave. THAT is the mark of someone who has nothing to hide or run from in terms of self-image. if you need to rock a fro to prove your blackness, you have self-identity issues. if you need a weave to feel beautiful, you have self-identity issues. i can understand your hair being a PART of your identity, but if you consider it a public advertisement of your self-worth and who you are (and you feel the need for a public advertisement)… ISSUES!

    to men who have any kind of hair mandate for women they date… you have issues too. maybe it's the southern culture i was raised in, but men appreciate the general beauty of women. they prefer a woman's own hair, but definitely no judgment as long as she looks good with however she wears it. but i think any man with strong preferences for things like hair is weird. if you don't just in general think women are beautiful, you don't really love women. and that's weird.

    1. "but i think any man with strong preferences for things like hair is weird. if you don’t just in general think women are beautiful, you don’t really love women. and that’s weird."

      ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

      Good point! But do you think that women who have strong preferences about things like grade of hair in men means that they don't really love men? Or that they don't in general think men are beautiful? Can that question even be asked?

  36. i wouldn't go as far to say that i hate weaves but i have strong disdain towards them. i understand some women wear them to allow their hair to grow out and such but if i've never seen your natural hair then its a problem. if your hair is long or short, straight or curly, or even bald i want to see you for you. i do agree that in my opinion i feel weaves are a sort of lie. thats just me *shrugs*. i just don't like the entire concept of them.

  37. You hinted to this earlier SBM (and you said you weren't for it), but maybe you can clarify. I know you don't speak for all, but maybe you can shed some light.

    It seems like black men are often against weaves etc., but they will drool over people with fake breasts and butts (and don't try and tell him that a butt/breast is fake, before you can finish the sentence he's exclaiming that he doesn't care). Isn't silicone/saline in one's front and back much worse than actual human hair, which is removable, on one's head?

    And sorry if someone already asked this. 50 some-odd comments this early in the morning is damn near impossible for me to get through.

    1. yeah fake ass/breasts are definitely worse than weaves. i want to know what black men drool over either. matter of fact i don't personally know any woman who has ever got breast augmentations. i do know a bunch that have had breast reductions though.

  38. Imma go in a different direction with this one and do my quick commentary on Chris Rock. Chris Rock pretty much made his career making fun of black people. That's why so many of his fans, early on, were white. That's why you heard people like Bill O'Riely sayin how funny he his. Much of his comedy was from a conservative perspective. His TV show, Everybody Hates Chris, is based on his real life. His parents sending him to a racist white school because they figured that was better than him going to school with a bunch of niggaz. All this is to say I believe he is a dude with some self loathing issues. Not to mention the fact that he made a movie about weaves when he had the juiciest jeri curl since Jermain Jackson. But enought about Chris Rock.

    I don't like weaves but I'm not going to make any judgements about somebody that has one. Expecially since just about every female I've ever met has worn one at some point in their life. And I have to agree with what someone said about bad weaves. The bad weaves are all most people can afford. Notice how you never hear anyone talk about Beyonce or Shakira or any of the stars that wear weaves. Because they look natural.

  39. I'm a black woman that agrees with SBM on this post. The thing that I hate most about seeing weaves on other woman is the "change of identity" effect. I have a friend that is a "Weave Master", and I love her to death. However, everytime she switches from natural to a weave, people look at her like WTF. She honestly looks like a different person. Most women that I know that wear weaves all the time look better to me with a weave because I don't see them without one often, so when they do wear their real hair, they just look straightup weird…On the other hand…you like what you like..I've always dated men that like me weaveless….Practically all of my female coworkers wear weaves…but I must admit that it looks lovely…and it should for what they pay for it!!

    Ms.Lotus AKA weave-less cutie over hereee

    1. To add to the "change of identity" effect, let's talk about that "change in attitude" effect: when a weave somehow empowers a woman to throw her words, attitude, and head from side to side (I see them, swingin' their weave in the DC breeze), and as soon as she's without it, she suddenly seems vulnerable, uber subdued and seemingly powerless. Tragedy I say!

  40. I'm understanding what your saying in this post me being a woman who prefers natural as opposed to weave anyway, but it seems like a double standard when men say they prefer a woman without a weave, but ya'll are certainly not trying to holla at the gorgeous natural woman with a tiny afro! Most men prefer the long hair, so why penalize a woman if she wants to "accentuate" herself with a little addition to her head lol Should it really matter as long as it looks good?

        1. PREACH! What about all of the males that walk around with gold wrappers, when they know they'll be baggy..hmph!

  41. SBM i'm so upset with this post right now. Not the post but the comments. I leave you with this quote and possible chair;

    ex-girlfriend: i went natural, what do you think?

    me: that was dumb.

    ex-girlfriend's best friend: that was mean.

    me: her hair looked perfectly fine before, i don't know what she's got going on now.

    I also am on page 392 of the Guiness Book of World Records for saying, "DO NOT CUT YOUR HAIR." the most times in the history, i'm probably well over 2 million.

    As it pertains to weaves, i've never really had this problem, so I can't say nothing. (Yeah, I said it.)

  42. As someone who has a decent amount of hair but wears weaves as a protective style (meaning to protect my natural hair) I definitely see where you're coming from. A man probably needs to see your natural hair so he knows what he's really working with. Especially if he's considering keeping you around in the future. He wants to know what kind of babies you're capable of making. I think he has that right. I take mine out every now and again to remind my dudes what's really going on.

    And no I don't consider it self hate or anything at all other than something fun to do. I'm tired of black women trying to make me feel guilty for having my hair straight or wearing weaves. Do what you want. Do what keeps your hair healthy and flowing.

    1. I laughed at "I take mine out every now and again to remind my dudes what’s really going on. " LOL. yeah if you've never seen someone's real hair its a problem.

  43. I'm with you on this one homie, except I realize if I eliminated weave and wig wearing women (say that five times) I would be absolutely dateless. I love natural haired women (depending on how they style it and keep it hydrated) because I can actually touch and feel the texture of their locs. Feeling tracks is like giving a scalp massage to someone with a helmet on.

    Oh yeah…
    I'm with the others when I say I have to see a woman's natural hair before I take her seriously. Nothing would be worse than dating/courting a woman and once you clamp it down discover that her hair looks like blackened grains of rice moving nomadic like across her scalp….or she looks like George Jefferson underneath. That would be scary.

    Can't tell em nuffin though…

      1. I saw a video…I think it was WSHH but there were these two chick fighting in a dancehall. One of the chicks got dewigged and looked like Blanca from Street Fighter had gnarled on her head. What has been seen cannot be unseen!

  44. Wow, SBM,

    First, I have to co-sign with some of the above comments in asking what do you define as "good hair"? Are you referring to only natural hair that is "straightened"?

    I guess I'm giving you the side eye a bit on this post, because most of the time, the men who say they hate weaves are the first men, who rush towards a "mixed chick" or white chick because she has the straight, longer hair that most blk chicks w/o the weave or flat iron doesn't naturally have.

    We wouldn't imitate, if it weren't working. At the same time, I hate that stereotype that blk women can't grow long hair.

    One thing I've noticed is that I get a whole different response from black men who see me wearing a weave as opposed to wearing my "super" natural hair (aka no blow drying, no heat at all). They love my weaves, and ignore me, when I'm in my afro. Ironically, when I'm wearing an afro, white men try to holla more as do more African men.

    What most men fail to realize is that many women use weaves for convenience, not due to self-hate. We don't always like to have a bad hair day, just because of the humidity. We don't always want to always have to think about what to do with your hair on those days, when it has a mind of its on.

  45. One thing I’ve noticed is that I get a whole different response from black men who see me wearing a weave as opposed to wearing my “super” natural hair (aka no blow drying, no heat at all). They love my weaves, and ignore me, when I’m in my afro.

    ___________________________________

    I think it depends on the guy. Cause weaves are pretty much a turn off for me. Expecially if they don't look natural.

    1. J,

      Your right though. As much as many Black men try to deny it many of them prefer long hair so many sistas wear weaves because long hair serves as a point of attraction to Black men. I've noticed that many sistas with natural do's don't get the attention from Black males. So maybe subconciously Black males have added to the reason why so many sistas wear them 🙂

  46. I think Tunde made a great point. If you've never seen your girls real hair that's a problem. My booski has washed my hair for me and greased my scalp. He definitely knows what I really look like. None of that Whitley Gilbert wake up before your man and brush your teeth and comb your hair.

    Btw- why is plastic surgery ok? Surgery is a permanent alteration. You don't know what your boo really looks like nor what your kids will look like

  47. First off, a few Weave Wearin' rules that every weave-wearin' woman should abide by:

    1) If it doesn't look like it could grow outta your head (i.e. it's too shiny, too black, too light, too long, too straight, or too curly), it's all wrong.

    2) If your natural hair is only 6 inches long, don't rock a heavy- arse 18 inch weave. Keep it realistic and within 2-4 inches of the length of your natural hair. Reduces that shock "OMG DID YOU CUT YOUR HAIR??" reaction that you get from people (read: white people)

    3) When Beyonce tells you to "pat your weave ladies", pat your damn weave! If it's nothing to be ashamed about, then claim that sucka! Plus, the brotha across the club has probably already frequented the websites that jone on whack weaves and tattered celebrity lace-fronts, so he probably already knows anyway.

    Okay, onto the topic at hand…

    This problem isn't just a black woman's issue. Like the reader who said that black men hate weaves, yet they're not pressing up on the natural sistahs, the Jill Scott's (sans hair extensions) or India Arie's of the world. Granted, men can argue that women shouldn't do things to please men, but clearly, we know the dominating discourses in our society make that slightly impossible. So I challenge the men out there to try it if you haven't already. Step to the sistah with the caesar, the pixie, the locks, and the fro and see what's she's about.

    I've been natural my whole life, and when I wear my natural hair styles, like Cherry_Darling, I get different reactions from men. Funny thing is, I get less attention from men when I'm wearing a straight weave (following Weave Wearin' rule # 2) than when I'm wearing an afro. My take on this is that:

    1) My face looks more cherubim-like with a big hairstyle than something flat and lifeless

    2) You can spot a big arse afro from across the street, church, or club quicker than you can spot a straight style

    3) It's so unusual that black woman are natural these days that black men actually can appreciate it. It's a breath of fresh (h)air, pun intended!

    I always prefer to meet a man in my natural crown first because that means he sees the beauty in my tightly-coiled kinks. I almost feel like I'm starting something off with a lie when I meet a man while rocking a straight weave as opposed to my fro, braids or twists-the latter two of which you can still see my happily nappy roots!

  48. Buuaaahaaaa too funny!!!! Boy you crazy…. I don't wear a weave… the last time I had someone else's hair in my head (synthetic) was back in the day… Janet Jackson's Poetic Justice days… I have grown the relaxer out of my hair sans weave and wigs… I have a lot of hair…. if I want it straight I get it blown out by the Dominicans…. right now we curly, nappy happy… thanks for the post… I also recommend dating girls with their own… God forbid you snap a track out …. O_0

  49. Oh yes I'd also like to add any man that is overly concerned with what my hair is doing, how i'm wearing it, how I will wear it down the line…isn't the man for me. I change up OFTEN as I said before. And I'm not making concessions for anyone but myself in that area. LOL.

    I will say…ladies if you're gonna wear a partial weave/tracks, etc where some of your own hair is out and mixed in….PLEASE for the love of everything that is good on this planet…PLEASE…get hair that matches your OWN hair and texture. The biggest weave/track fail is when your own hair is one type and your weave hair is a WHOLE nother story. Yowsa!

    1. "PLEASE…get hair that matches your OWN hair and texture. The biggest weave/track fail is when your own hair is one type and your weave hair is a WHOLE nother story. Yowsa!"

      ———–

      Yessss! Weave Wearin' rule #1!

  50. Let me start by saying that I doubt very seriously that you've encountered that many women with enough duckets to spare to have REAL human hair. lol

    With that being said, I understand what your frustration. I have a sew-in in my head now as a protective style because I'm transitioning back to my natural texture (don't look at me crazy…I've went natural this way before. lol) and even I get frustrated with all these women walking around looking like an overgrown Barbie doll. As a result of my frustration, my sew-in doesn't even touch my shoulders and it's curly. I don't like walking around looking like every other ATL chick and I want my hair to reflect that. I don't need it be long, bone straight and hitting my butt. I believe that if a woman is going to put weave in her hair, it shouldn't be obvious the hair is weave. Someone shouldn't be able to tell that it's synthetic hair within seconds of looking at me.

    1. I totally agree Ash Elle Aye I believe that if you are going to get a weave make it natural to you, not this long flowing hair that doesn't even fit you. You have captured what I believe is a serious complex very well, I am not saying that all women who wear weaves have one but I feel like majority of them do. Subconsciously they feel like what they have is inadequate.

      1. I agree. I used to wear long ones a WHILE backs but I got bored with it and as a result, the hair sewn in my hair is short and curly. I get more compliments on this style than ever did with the long and straight look.

  51. Wow… Just Wow..

    Ok Let me keep this brief. I 50% cosign the Blgo Furor Herr SBM.

    I hate BAD Weaves!!

    My only rule with the weave is that it cant be a) Super extra like that Lion King mane Beyonce rocked once upon a time and b) I shouldnt be looking at your head and expecting the E/F/LIRR Train to make a stop in the bedroom. NO Tracks please!

    I LOVE natural hair on a woman. To be able to run my fingers through it, amongst other things, is a feat of beauty. I hate weaves at times because women are ready to put me in the Sharpshooter for touching their hair if they got a weave! I'm surprised I didn't lose a few fingers in my day!

    If it looks nice, and it makes you happy, by all means rock the weave. just please perform necessary upkeep, and don't be scared to show your natural hair.

    Ladies who wear weaves on a reg.. am i wildin for wanting to touch your hair?

    Do believe I will do natural checks if I'm seriously involved. Don't want to live out that Onyx Lyric…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-onVffkthSY#t=2m21

    Word….

    1. I see what you're saying. That "no touching" thing is dumb. I could care less if my SO runs his hands through it. But if you're some weirdo off the street, don't touch me or my hair. I don't care if it's permed, natural, synthetic or if I'm bald. lol

      1. CHUUUUUCH!

        I effin HATE when mafukkas touch my hair that I don't know! "oh, your locs are beautiful! *makes move to touch* *Bruce Lee karate chop to the THOAT (yes, that's THOAT)*

    2. LOL I Love my natural hair, But it is NOT something you can run your fingers through. It's pretty, and curly/wavy depending on what part of my head you're touching but it is THICK.

      So when I hear men talk about this whole "run my fingers through your hair" I imagine that they aren't talking about the kind of natural lots of my black women are.

      That in itself is the other issue. Just like the gentleman above who was adamant that a woman not cut her hair..

      We can't win for losing, this is why I do things for ME. And I have a man. I know that as long as I look good and feel good, I'm giving off that sexy vibe and he loves it. Sure I want to look nice for him, but I know that that's covered if I first look nice for me.

      1. Good point. That "run the hands through the hair" thing is a tad silly.

        We're damned if we do, damned if we don't. It's easy for a man to say he doesn't like something but actions speak louder than words. I'm smack dab in the middle of the city and the same guys that will say a girl is the prettiest when she's dressed down will be the same ones chasing after the model chick with the indian remy slapping her ass and a face full of make up. It's ridiculous.

        I fully agree with doing my hair for me. And I have a man too. He'll tell me if he doesn't particularly like my hair but he doesn't care for the most part. It's my choice and he respects that and that can be applied to my choice of clothes or anything else appearance wise.

        1. Let me clarify

          Doing that is something I like to do… and trust you'd like it too… Its just another way I like interaction… and i have ways aroung the "natural" 🙂 I just dont wanna get beat up for touching a womans hair!

      2. "We can’t win for losing, this is why I do things for ME. And I have a man. I know that as long as I look good and feel good, I’m giving off that sexy vibe and he loves it. Sure I want to look nice for him, but I know that that’s covered if I first look nice for me."

        Exactly, JG.

  52. And here I was wondering what hair-related subject to write for my blog. I've started a series on my blog detailing my own transition to natural as well as other hair related isht and I was experiencing writer's block. Thanks for giving me my topic for tomorrow SBM fam….

  53. I'm just saying I'm disgusted by the original comment about being anti weave is being anti black women. Eww! I'm anti weave to… They actually scare me.

  54. I got a Public Service Announcement for the people –

    Men – be careful sticking your hands in your woman's head. Yes, the scalp massage feels great (as does everything else you do with the hair). However, if it takes me an hour to detangle my hair afterwards I'm still going to give you the sideye. Doesn't matter if she's weaved up or not. You can do it, but go WITH the grain, not against!

    Yes, Streetz – that's for you especially, lol.

    1. LOLOLOLOL Sweetie I got waves. Going against the grain is agaisnt my religion. I dont mess ish up, i flow trust!

      P.S. shoutout to SBM for having ppl attack me thinking I wrote this… we're gonna need unique identifyers goign fwd!

      1. Ok, so maybe that was more for my man than for you, lol. He'd put me in a little coma with the scalp massage til I got to a mirror and realized it was a code 10 situation. Man down!

    2. 100% natural loose kinky curls that go halfway down my back. it's a pain in the butt to manage. i hate when it gets rained on, or swimming and not having immediate access to a shower to wash out the chlorine/salt (though i was a competitive swimmer for years so don't get me started on that "black people can't swim" BS). stop acting like only women w/ weave are fussy about their hair. i am fussy about my hair, and most of my black female friends w/ AND w/o natural hair are fussy about it too. textured hair- no matter if it's natural or weave- is very susceptible to the elements, and it's natural dryness makes good deep conditioning a necessity. i'm not sure men realize that conditioning thick hair takes time (why i only need to do it twice a week-cuz it's DRY, not oily); not to mention drying and styling tack on an extra 45- hour. so yeah, when i put my time in, i'm not tryna let nature go and mess with it.

      and let's talk about these men w/ fake locks nowadays (lil' wayne and every other wanna be…cough cough) – shut up about the weaves then.

      sick of people hatin' on us and then telling us how much we hate ourselves. i don't hate myself or my hair. k thx haters.

  55. All I gotta say right now is I didn't think I was gonna start all this drama.

    I mean … Apparently it's not cool to not like weaves . I didn't get the memo.

    Until I get time to catch up on the comments … I still don't like the thought of my girl having the hair of two people on her.

    I understand there are some temporary situations and special cases that justify it. But the desire to "change it up" doesn't justify it. I think I'm gonna get a hot swappable johnson just so I can switch up.

    "Yeah girl … do you want the 'long and strong' model, or my patented 'purple humminbird'?"

    1. LAWD! If you can make this happen you'll be the next black billionaire! Why do you think women still visit the toy shop when they have a man? LOLOL!

  56. Ha ha So Im asking again, just for the record If you met a girl you hit it off liked her a lot and later found out she someone elses hair in her head You would just drop her Or would you even have the gall to ask to stop wearing her other peoples hair

    And so your saying if halle, janet, kerry, nia, ri ri, and all the rest If any persued you You would not be the least bit interested because of the weave

    Yeah ok SBM

    1. A weave isn't a dealbreaker, but a dedicated weave queen might be.

      And yes, I have in the past and would tell a woman that I don't want her to wear a weave anymore.

  57. Damn the toy shop there are happily involved women that shop Homedics on the regular SBM Let me know when you get that idea patented

  58. I read the article… sounds like a man just stating his personal preference. Nothing more, nothing less.

    Folks goin to this Black race/ natural vs. Permed vs. Weaves …. wow so unnecessary lol

    No matter what u rock, if the dude you're with cannot get past what's on top of your head then maybe you need to move "on to the next one".

  59. Oooh and P.S…..

    if you constantly find yourself GOING OFF on men who DONT like weaves and giving excuses of why you wear the one that's on your head INSTEAD of saying "whateva fool, I'm FLYY regardless"

    …. then you have some INSECURITY issues you and your indian remy 1B should work out asap. Lol

    MikaFlyyMommy

    "Devil's Advocate" lol

  60. OOOO BOY! why does everyone have there pantys in darn bunch? It's HIS opinion, yall actin like he's your man & he's tellin you to get rid of weaves for good or else.

    I have been natural for a couple months and I could careless if other black women want to wear weaves! I'm no blacker with my afro! What I dont like is how we as black people are making the asians rich. If were gonna wear weaves, we need to OWN the weave companies and beauty stores. Make our own selves rich, not them!

  61. I don't wear weave or fake nails. I have never worn weave and after one irritating bout with fake nails, I've never looked back. I love my natural look, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. My natural hair length and texture make it easier for me to style my hair easily and move forward with my busy day. I've never allowed my daughter to wear weave or fake nails either. She's beautiful just the way she is, and her natural hair is mid-back length and healthy. Acceptance of ourselves is foremost in getting others either to accept us as we are or to just leave us completely alone. Either one is definitely fine with me.

  62. I haven't worn a weave in over a year so I'm not affected by this anti-weave sentiment one way or another. However, I would think the problem would be solved by just not dating girls who wear weaves instead of trying to force them to conform to YOUR standard of beauty? Doesn't what she think looks nice on her count for something?

  63. too many comments to read through them all! but here are my thoughts:

    1. any woman who wears a weave to "protect" the natural hair needs a better stylist. your hair, relaxed, permed, loced, whattheefuggever does not need the "protection" a weave affords. no. what is needed is to get familiar with paying for quality products being used by professional stylists and staying away from the heat (you do NOT need to flat iron your hair every day! you don't!). trust me, rasheneeka who slaps vaseline in your head and makes you sit for 3 hours looking like a scarecrow while she works on her cousin's hair?

    is. not. a. professional. stylist.

    2. my bff challenged me that not all women can afford to go to the salon every week the way i did when i had long hair. if you can afford a weave? you can afford a good hairstylist. you don't have to go every week (I was just lazy). but you have to be COMMITTED to healthy hair. that means wrapping or pin curling or rolling it at night, being light handed with the product, investing in QUALITY styling tools, and again, not frying it to death every day before you go to work!

    in case you're wondering? SUAVE is not a quality product. i don't care what the commercials say!

    3. color. if you can buy it off the shelf? you gon need a weave to hide the damage. PAY SOMEBODY WHO IS A TRAINED PROFESSIONAL (see a trend?)

    4. work WITH your hair, not against it. in the summertime? expect frizz. so stop trying to get salli richardson hair when its 102 degrees by 9 am! in the winter? it may be dry. so moisturize it!!! again….not with suave. if you are broke, olive oil is a miracle worker. so is mayonaise.

    5. if you are rocking yaki #2, lacefront, wig, whatever, do you! but the fact that i see some hit dogs hollering at this post tells me you ain't really doing you. don't shoot the messenger because your feelings are hurt. your feelings are hurt because you are conflicted within yourself about the weave.

    whoever said "if my weave made me money i'd put a whole horse in my head" is keeping it real.

    whoever quoted the woman who's weave stopped a bullet? i know you keep the Asians in business.

    6. y'all ain't gotta read this blog but the man is free to express his OPINION! stop taking his thoughts as the Gospel According to Mei Ling!

    i have worn my hair natural twice now, and have had every length of perm from pencil curl to down to the middle of my back, refusing to hold a curl because of the weight. it's ALL work. even my current 5 min natural is work (I can't get those 5 mins back!)

    i personally don't care how another woman wears her hair (and yes, there are black women with naturally blonde hair btw – usually they are mixed or light bright, but they exist!). but sometimes it is just a hairstyle and sometimes it isn't. as long as you (the owner of the hair, whether God-gifted or via reciept) are good with it, that's all that matters!

    just please don't look ridiculous.

    1. lots of us are regular posters on this site and if it seemed personal it wasn't truly for "hurt feelings' but more some lke come on son. I guess being familiar that way can come off being mad but its not that serious. so you jumped to a major conclusion.

      also, most folks that go to salons and get sew ins are familiar with professionals. you may not like weave but don't assume folks here don't know how to moisturize, not flat iron daily/use excessive heat and other things to maintain healthy hair. weaves and braids are protective styles because they keep your hair off your shoulders (which can dry out from cotton fabrics) and leaving it alone/low manipulation does help with retaining growth.

  64. Weaves are ubiquitous and I hate them and the Chinese/Indonesian/Persian/indian bastards making a killing off of a Black Woman's insecurities, desire to keep up with the Joneses', or why ever the hell else women wear them. My fried persuaded me to buy a wig for NYE and that piece of shit is still in the box. My mom forced me to wear those damn poetic Justice braids and micros until I finally said no and rocked my own tresses. I always thought it was stupid to "preserve" my hair or "give it a rest" by suffocating it with germy refugee hair or covering it with plastic fibers. 9 out of 10 weaves look f**ked anyway, unless you're Bey-…actually her crap looks fake too. My opinion…

  65. Great Googly Moo, SBM!!!

    You don' pissed folks SLAM OFF!

    I think its funny. I agree with whomever said it, whomever is jumpin bad with the brotha for stating his personal opinion have some isshas to work out.

    I did the perm, the weave, the low cut….hell, I did the jheri curl and the Janet Jackson box braids too. I've been loc'd for 4 years now, and I love my hair. But you know what? I've ALWAYS loved my hair.

    I think the point of this totally missed some folks. Its like, we all have a homegirl that wears ish that is overkill. That chick that wears low cut everything to everywhere. At some point, your gotta cover up.

    And for the weave queens, at some point your gotta let yo SCAP (yes SCAP) see the light of day. That's all the brotha is saying…

  66. Im a regular SBM.net stalker 🙂 but I felt the need to comment on this post today… why are so many people getting upset with SBM for having his own opinion about weaves? I mean the title says "I" in it. He has the right to feel however he wants and whether you agree with it or not is your business but let the man feels how he feels.

    Me personally, I have natural hair. The relaxers did more damage than good, so I had to stop using them. But I couldnt care any less what another woman does with her hair. If she looks good with it, and is comfortable in her own skin with whatever hairstyle she has, more power to her.

    1. Co-sign

      SBM is entitled to his preference, we as women have lists of our own preferences too–and y'all know that! (I'm also a SBM stalker, lol, commenting b/c there seems to be so much hatage towards the preference of natural hair that some men have) And I also have natural hair (and that's not why I'm co-signing or in support of men being entitled to their preferences)…well wait… natural in that no weaves and no perms, I AM A FAN OF A HOT COMB…

      Uh, but my question/point/gripe/thought of the moment is this: It seems hair in someway defines, for far too many people, blackness and/or self-esteem. I'M BLACK AND I'M PROUD but through no doings of my own my family like A LOT of African-American has a scattered heritage so my hair is long and curly– not kinky or nappy curly–just curly almost like a jerry-curl (I'm not a huge fan of it, hence the hot comb adoration) anywho. All my teenage and undergraduate years were spent with dudes placing their whole hand on the top of my hand giving me a "massage" when in fact they were feeling for tracks!!! (Like I ain't supposed to know) And then after no tracks were found the following conversation occurs:

      Dude: WHAT ARE YOU?

      Me: What do you mean?

      Dude: YOU'RE NOT BLACK.

      Me: Yes I am!

      Dude: NO YOU'RE NOT.

      Me: How the hell you going to tell me what I am?! If some ish came back today or tomorrow I'd be as far away from the big house as one could get! (And a series of curses and challenges to dude's intellect.)

      Dude: ALL I'M SAYING IS BLACK WOMEN DON'T HAVE HAIR LIKE THAT!

      At this point I stop arguing and friendship/relationship is lost. But why, oh why does hair make such a statement? I know that may sound pointless and/or be another blog entirely, but I'm tired of having my black card challenged because I have what the man decided was "good hair"

  67. I dont think theres anything wwrong with SBM's post. He is entitled to his own opinion. However I would like to say that Guys are obsessed with a womans hair as much as a woman is. My hair isnt "natural" its permed. Im a wash n set Kinda girl but guys love touching my hair. The last guy I dated was so excited that it was real! He was like omg its so hard to find a girl who wears her own hair out. So I guess Im curious why guys like hair so much?

  68. So many things on the internet can get women (and more specifically black women) in an uproar. I always take these things with a grain of salt. I read this post when there were no comments and chuckled to myself. I thought "another anti weave blog" and here goes SBM talking the same ish that he usually does. But I didn't let it bother me (I wear a weave). Different strokes for different folks. I've never had an issue with a man disliking my hair. In fact, I've dated a few black man who dislike women with weaves and never bothered me about mine.

    I have very long natural hair but its quite unruly. My hectic life unfortunately never grants me the time and energy to tame it and I'm completely natural and natural hair takes a lot of work. Usually I get asked how long my real hair is and when I show them (I wear half weaves) men usually stop asking me questions about my hair. Once I mentioned that I was going to stop wearing weaves and cut my hair short (again) and the dude I dated almost had a heart attack. I guess short hair to him was like a weave to SBM. Everyone has preferences. The key is to find someone who will love you just the way you are.

    And remember no love nor peen is worth your dignity.

  69. SBM.

    I feel that you and I must be long lost brothers or something (no homo, lol)

    I also hate weaves, wiggs and all other fake hair products. But, I do not mind perming, hair coloring or other things that modify the hair. Does this mean that I have been brainwashed by white or european ideals of beauty, possibly, but that argument is relative to individual perspective.

    I look at it like this:

    How you gonna have fake hair, fake nails, fake eye lashes, a face full of make-up, fake tits, fake designer purses or fake azz accesories and say that you want a real man??? How could you possibly want a 'real' when everything about you is fake?

    -5 Klub

  70. I had my first sew-in the 6th grade…after a truly horrendous jheri curl experience.. Anyway after my hair grew back, I went back to perms. In high school, I went natural and since college, I've put perms in 2x, shaved my head, worn braids, been natural etc. I've been natural for the last 7 years and I recently got a sew-in in December. I wish I could say I got it for any of the perfectly fine reasons other woman list here..but frankly I got it because I was exhausted. Natural hair takes a lot of maintenance and upkeep, if you don't want to look crazy. I just got tired of doing something to it every day. I LOVE the weave I have right now and I am planning my next weave adventure.

    Honestly I don't see what the big deal is, as someone said earlier– it's just hair. SBM is going to fine a nice weaveless young lady and it will be all good!

  71. I had my first sew-in the 6th grade…after a truly horrendous jheri curl experience.. Anyway after my hair grew back, I went back to perms. In high school, I went natural and since college, I've put perms in 2x, shaved my head, worn braids, been natural etc. I've been natural for the last 7 years and I recently got a sew-in in December. I wish I could say I got it for any of the perfectly fine reasons other woman list here..but frankly I got it because I was exhausted. Natural hair takes a lot of maintenance and upkeep, if you don't want to look crazy. I just got tired of doing something to it every day. I LOVE the weave I have right now and I am planning my next weave adventure. My real hair might not make an appearance again until 2011 or 2012. LOL…

    Honestly I don't see what the big deal is, as someone said earlier– it's just hair. SBM is going to fine a nice weaveless young lady and it will be all good!

  72. I think the big deal surrounding this topic and similar ones all over regarding fake hair, body parts, etc. is that society is going through a struggle of wanting to achieve the levels of beauty set by celebreties and people in the media but want to see it in the most natural way possible. You will have guys who desire to encounter that type of beauty but they have set up a standard for themselves that the only way they will accept it as true beauty is if it is real (natural whatever the preference) and at the end of the day you have people who dont care how it is obtained, as long as it looks good – its all good. The common factor though is the attainment for "beauty" with a shallow basis – the media.

    The real issue with weaves is when it becomes a dependency/neccessity rather than an option. And to agree with other posters, its ridiculous that it has to come to the point where people look to find out if you're hair is a weave or debating your ethnicity, etc. (all I have experienced without even extreme valid reason, just because im not the normal light skinned, long hair- but instead "caramel" skinned long hair so it has to be a weave..smh). – if something looks good appreciate for what is is..a good look.

    But I do understand the blog and why SBM hates it. Weave is not what I would want for myself so that would be the basis for understanding and partial agreement. But to each its own. Society needs to stop the superficial thoughts. If your going to accept the celeb divas..accept the non – celeb divas real or fake (lol). If it looks good -it looks good. To everyone (including myself lol) -dont hate the player – hate the game.

  73. I wonder if Latino men are as offended by the unfortunate habit Latina women have of dyeing their hair the most ungodly shades of brassy, orange-y, blond known to man…as Black men are by Black women wearing weaves. Or do Latino men just not care.

  74. I don't judge anyone for their hairstyle or hair choices unless they deem themselves "better than or more culturally astute" for the choices they have made. I also abhor the term good hair as much as "fair-skinned". All of that is some slavery indoctrined bullshyt that need to die. Now that's out of the way, I think most comments ignore SBM's most important point which is a known. Women of color are being pimped & abused for these Beyonce locks. For the most part, I found "Good Hair" lacking & a straight up diss to the intelligence of black folks. However, the most powerful part of that doc, was seeing the poor women who were being exploited for their hair. When you support this billion dollar trade, you are complicit in the mistreatment of these women. That's undeniable. We all have to acknowledge that possibility of complicitness.

    Also, the fact that your hair purchases support an empire of business that doesn't even allow black folks a seat at the table. So once again, black folks are enabling mistreatment. That's what's really worth considering if you are not only a weave- aholic, but also if you are a compassionate human being or one who values your spending power.

    Since weave is here to stay, then it's time for black folks to benefit instead of being pimped and in a "clean" conflict – free ddiamonds" way.

    SBM, I think your preference should be appreciated & respected. We for damn sure hear many black men articulate the opposite. Kudos to you for having the balls to say something that goes the mainstream.

  75. I don't judge anyone for their hairstyle or hair choices unless they deem themselves "better than or more culturally astute" for the choices they have made. I also abhor the term good hair as much as "fair-skinned". All of that is some slavery indoctrined bullshyt that need to die. Now that's out of the way, I think most comments ignore SBM's most important point which is a known. Women of color are being pimped & abused for these Beyonce locks. For the most part, I found "Good Hair" lacking & a straight up diss to the intelligence of black folks. However, the most powerful part of that doc, was seeing the poor women who were being exploited for their hair. When you support this billion dollar trade, you are complicit in the mistreatment of these women. That's undeniable. We all have to acknowledge that possibility of complicitness.

    Also, the fact that your hair purchases support an empire of business that doesn't even allow black folks a seat at the table. So once again, black folks are enabling mistreatment. That's what's really worth considering if you are not only a weave- aholic, but also if you are a compassionate human being or one who values your spending power.

    Since weave is here to stay, then it's time for black folks to benefit instead of being pimped and in a "clean" conflict – free ddiamonds" way.

    SBM, I think your preference should be appreciated & respected. We for damn sure hear many black men articulate the opposite. Kudos to you for having the balls to say something that goes against the mainstream.

  76. great post SBM! growing up pretty much all my relatives rocked their weaves,wigs whatever.in the black community majority of women wear fake hair which is embarassing to say the least.alot of women give all these excuses why they dont wear their natural hair which is ridiculous. if u got cancer,OK OR SOME OTHER MEDICAL CONDITION THAT IS UNDERSTANDABLE.But the majority of the time that is not the case that is y i think fake hair is so dumb and unnecessary.another thing is when parents put braids on the heads of TODDLERS WTF??!! when i was a teenager i tried weave and they are creepy and gross! If you fry chicken or fish your hair stinks of it! LADIES YOU KNOW IT IS TRUE.DON'T TRY TO DENY IT! also if you visit some one whose house is not very clean that fake hair picks up the stench of their place.bottom line is fake hair is nasty because it cannot be shampooed and conditioned like natural hair.and by the way alot of black women like to jump on the band wagon of oh!white women wear weave too!!! guess what ?their weave matches their natural texture. QUESTION- how would it look if white chicks start wearing kinky afro weaves? just like a black persons natural hair? ridiculous! so what makes the weave wearers think that straight jet black hair looks good on them? you ain't asian or italian. i dont care how talented the beautician is ALL weave looks horrible because it dont suit a negroes look. i have talked to people of other races and they agree 100% but guess what ?they keep it to themselves because they dont want to be labelled as racist.they wont wear a kinky afro wig because they dont want to look foolish in the name of fashion. as a black woman i was born with hair and i will rock it & wash it as often as i like after i fried my chicken. i cannot change my DNA. there is no need for fake hair when i have hair.i might as well wear a fake nose or fake eyeball or a prosthetic limb over my natural limbs!YES thats how silly weave is. peace!

    1. few questions for you:

      1. so will you have a problem with "human hair" weaves since they can be shampooed or conditioned after you fry your chicken?

      2. do you also have a problem with curly/afro weaves since they "suit a negroes look"?

      1. human hair weaves are even MORE GROSS than the synthetic ones becauce it actually sprouted from another persons scalp. I will accept a kidney from another human because it is necessary ie–life saving. 2. i would wear a curly afro wig on hallowen. Alot of people seem to think it is halloween 365 days of the year by wearing their straight ,curly,wavy weaves etc.

  77. Quite frankly, I think us women should be flattered that men like SBM want us the way we were born, instead of wanting to see us with somebody else's hair on our heads…

    And much like SBM, I'm not bashing weave wearers, primarily because people of African descent have been switching it up for centuries. (Check those Egyptian and Nubian tombs for the FIRST lace front weaves…LMAO!) So ironically, nobody can tell a black chick that she's forsaking her heritage by rockin a wig/weave because they've been doing it in the motherland since 3000b.c.e.

    Nevertheless, I'm not gonna trip like I don't know some women who are so self-conscious about their own roots that they haven't seen them since that 3rd grade relaxer and wouldn't be caught dead showing them under any circumstances.

    Bottom line is that black hair completely stripped, no relaxers, no weaves, no white family member in the family tree, IS beautiful. But until some of us realize that, the hair industry in our community will continue to make billions off our heads.

  78. I have never worn a weave in my life, and I'm happy to be nappy. I don't like wigs or weaves they creep me out – it reminds me of people who get thier dead pets stuffed. Plus, aren't they REALLY expensive?

  79. weave wearers aka wooly helmet wearers claim that a reason they wear their fake hair is because of versitility but the individual themselves can't be versatile. it is so silly to see a black chick at the beach or swimming pool with a shower/plastic cap on.what a life!!when one goes to the beach they should be able to enjoy it to the fullest by being able to submerge their heads and frolic in the water. Alot of weave wearers don't go to the gym or hiking either because these activities generate sweat and as we all know;sweat +weave is not a good combo because they can't go home and wash their sweaty scalps. WE all sweat after the gym or even just a regular day at work. it is common sense to go home and wash from HEAD to TOE not NECK to TOE. unfortunately people with wooly helmets aka fake hair wash from NECK TO TOE. YUCK. so any sweating that they do under the weave dries on the scalp and isn't washed away at the end of a long day. that is not VERSATILE!! IT IS BAD HYGIENE.

    1. Riiiiggght… all weave wearers have bad hygiene… *shrugs* Exactly. *insert sarcasm here*

      & i don't wear a swim cap, i don't run from the rain, I do wash my hair, & i go to the gym 3 times a week…

  80. Luv my weave… buy the right hair and you can clean it and style it! 😀

    I have had EVERY style in the book and right now I like weaves bcuz I can work out and not worry about styling it…also the winter air is harsh for my hair.

    I totally think that if you are that shallow then you should find a woman that doesn't have a weave. At the end of the day hair is not a necessity, its a accessory.

  81. At the end of the day, God is not pleased with weaves. Gods word says thàt a womens hair is her covering. Now if a women puts hair on her head, that God didn't give to her, but is from a fraudulent sacrafice, that's dishonors the way God created thee! There's a good reason its written-the love of the money is the ROOT of all evil. Lil girls are lied too in India, that they must shave their heads to be blessed, and women in America are paying thousands too fit in…

    1. Um…what? -_O

      1) Don't assume everyone follows the same belief system as yours

      2) Unless you're making Beyonce or Tyra Banks money, most of the hair sewn or glued into woven styles are synthetic

      3) Don't assume every woman is wearing a weave for the same reason

      4) Same logic could be applied to make up, perm and any other cosmetic alteration people apply to themselves

  82. I don't do weaves because I'm too tender headed for braids. I have just started wearing wigs, though. I like trying new looks without doing anything permanent to my own hair, which I like wearing in a super-short pixie cut. When I want the short look, I wear my hair. When I want a longer look, I wear a wig. It's no big deal, and I never try to pass it off as my own. Oh, and by the way, I only use synthetic hair. It is anathema to me to buy and wear the hair of someone who sacrificed it, willingly, for religious reasons. I guess in the U.S. we have "pulpit pimps" and in India they have "temple pimps". I'll stick with synthetic hair, thanks.

  83. LOL at all the comments. I cant help but feel that people wear weaves for insecurity (secondary to oppression) reasons and that most of these people arent even aware that this is why they wear them. Weaves often ( err… i mean "sometimes") look good. BUT it miseducates people about you, does it not? It also promotes a that oppressive culture. We arent dark skinned people with long flowy hair. Us black folks, are dark skinned people with "nappy" hair. The one that makes me laugh is when I see black kids with weave. What chance do such kids have of growing to like their natural selves? Hardly any at all.

    To each her own. But I know that if I was to ever find out that some man I like wears fake facial hair, it'd be over.

    *shameful*

    1. I often think that people who speak of weave wearing women as insecure are projecting their own insecurities onto someone else. I think its ridiculous to assume that every woman who wears a weave is insecure or has been brainwashed by an oppressive culture. Give me a friggin break….its just not that deep most of the time. How about alot women view hair as an accessory much like earring and bracelets…not some expression of their race or culture?

      There are many things that miseducate people about you: push-up bras, Spanx, makeup, hair dye, and men walking around carrying Magnums who have no business even saying the word Magnum. Where is the uproar about that stuff?

  84. to the ladies that look at weaves and wigs as an accessory/versatile.that is your perogative…that is your thing but i got a question for u. What if black men or all men have been wearing wigs/toupees/lacefront and they actually have hair (whether kinky or straight) underneath these hair helmets/wigs in 2010; whether they look like brad pitt or tyson beckford wouldnt that be weird to you ladies? dosent matter how hot or how deep a guy is the fact is it would be quite distracting and disturbing to know that mr.hottie has on some weird wig or toupee? i mean his face is gorgeous and all but when you are hanging out wouldnt wonder if there some rash on the scalp??? what are they hiding? some of us women need to put our selves in the mens shoes.even though the men may not think we actually have a rash but it is still wierd. think about it from their perspective for a minute

  85. hair as accessory lol maybe try a hat

    I like real hair thats hers. Any style thats hot on her. I feel like i've been tricked and bamboozled, cheated. It's like getting a new car home and the paint rubs off to reveal rust. I start to wonder what she really looks like.

    It's wierd when a girl puts on a different wig everynight and walks around the club chasing ballers like it's hers. False Advertising.

    Ladies love your real hair, we do.

  86. I can't stand weave either. It is soooooooo annoying and I have a hard time respecting women who wear it. I can't stand anything that hides real qualities. Also, the women are lazy and don't want to care for themselves, which is why they're overweight and even the weave looks unkempt. I'm so glad that I'm not a man because I would have a hard time being attracted to what the women are displaying. That will tattoos looks skank. Also, if the men are pleading with bw not to wear the weaves why do they keep wearing them?

    1. Because a black man comes from a black women…..we dont owe them ish! If he cant uplift and inspire me then ha has no business even stepping to me especially about his likes and dislikes!

      As a hair dresser there is nothing lazy about maintaining a weave, its constant work.

      Angelina Jolie, Megan Fox, Katherine Heigal…..all considered to be role models esp in white America……..however they (like the majority of the role models in the media: ALL RACES) are wearing extensions, hair pieces ect. Not to mention the billion dollar plastic surgery business…..black people dont dominate that industry…..you cant get anymore fake then that!

  87. to the weave wearers: i ve got a question; would you prefer Tyson Beckford with his natural hair or with a wig/toupee on his head? remember its just hair righttt? it just an accessory remember?? i dont care how attractive someone is they still look FOOLISH with fake hair. alot of black women cant seem to understand that A WOMAN MAKES HAIR BEAUTIFUL –HAIR DON'T MAKE A WOMAN BEAUTIFUL

    1. First of all if A WOMAN MAKES HAIR BEAUTIFUL –HAIR DON’T MAKE A WOMAN BEAUTIFUL! ..don't use a quote to justify faulty thinking…..because if you truly believed that ….it really wouldnt matter because beauty in its truth comes from within not from on top!

  88. I feel that a women has the right to do as she pleases, its her life, let her live it! To me it really doesn't matter…I have seen all natural sisters that look a hot mess as well as sisters with weaves that look a hot mess. Either way black women NEED to stop hating on one another and start uplifting one another! And black men need to remember that she is not her hair! Really? All the problems going on with black women….teenage pregnancy…heart disease…aids…lack of education……Yet all we can talk about is something trifle! There are more important things! Wearing a weave doesn't mean that you have low self-esteem…Just like all natural doesn't make anymore of a queen. The qualities that make a difference are within and perhaps that's what we need to be blogging about!

  89. Its good to know that I'm not the only anti-weave brotha out there!!! Weave! 🙁 I cant stand it! Whether its stitched,glued,plastered (lol) or woven into the heads of any sista. It still amounts to two things to me…Fake and ugly!!! Especially if its one thats jacked up looking like an old kAnky head Barbie Doll !! Except its on the head of an already beautiful woman! I saw the strangest thing the other day when I was at the mall. I saw a super dark skin sista, whom otherwise would`ve been so beautiful to me, but she had that (Stuff) in her head. And not only did she have that stuff in her head but it was frizzy,dry looking and red !! Plus the gurl was wearing green contacts too!?! Which made it even worse! BLaQ Women are sooo much beautiful when they don`t have that crap in their heads. I personally think that it should be illegal (lmao) in the BLaQ community and that we as BLaQ Men should stand up and just say "No" !! Nomore weaves,Nomore weaves,Nomore weaves!! lol

    1. wish there were more black men who appreciate like you. I wear weaves 1st off because i went natural 2004 until now and has been constantly weaving my hair and has seen no breakage since, but healthy hair, as relaxers from age 10(my mum's doing!) just dropped out my hair. i've been through most relaxers growing up and i am now 30. What bugged me was all races would find me attractive whilst i had long flowy weaves in my hair then i just though recently, HECK! WHAT DA HELL!! WHAT DO THEY FIND ATTRACTIVE. WILL THESE SAME PEOPLE STILL LOOK MY WAY TO SEE ME STRIPPED?! AS IN NATURAL-LOL! I'LL SHOW 'EM! As i personally think i look pretier with a weave, i'm not gonna lie, which is why it was nice to hear your comment about we black women are naturally pretty…ANYWAY, MY NATURAL HAIR IS SHOULDER LENGTH AND HEALTHY, AND O M G!! THE COMMMENTS, THE COMMENTS! THE HATING STARES FROM 'THE WEAVE ON GIRLS' WOW! I get comments like 'you look great' 'why you put all that weave in your hair when you got all that hair. it's not like you don't have hair…..' 'you got pretty pretty hair' (mines ain't so corse anymore..) Even some black guys really look at me in shock and i just think in my head 'still attracted? like me for me, not my hair' right? and hell, i'm proud to be black! we're just so diverse! whereas other sales assistance in sainsburys don't recognize me and will not even serve me my bacardi breezer! which you can laugh about, but it is such a brain opener. natural gives you youth, and good attention. I though have had enough of weaves because my head just can't take it no more-headaches and just load on my head. I wore natural styles, short and long, no craziness, but i need a break. I'm in 2 minds. 1 promised myself to never wear a weave again for a while, cos i've just had enough of all the pulling and tugging as i would wear the full sewn in ones. Also decided to never put a relaxer again in my head, chemicals no good. BUT THEN I HEARD OF THE 'BODIPHIER' sold in the states, a non chemical relaxer, and i am tempted…look it up and please give me advice. NATURAL BEAUTY TALKING HERE. SEE YA (wish i can post over photos b4 and after.. Respect to you MaLIQ

  90. I HATE weaves period. I have been to many parts of this planet and what always saddens me is when I come back to America and see this beautiful black women with this nasty garbage sitting on top of their head. I think it is disgusting, it actually makes me want to vomit sometimes. How can you put someone elses former hair on top of your own? Most of the weaves originally come from Asia and sooooo much of it contained lice before it was cleaned. There is no other minority group anywhere in the world that puts that crap on their head like the African American woman. The grips of slavery are still strong on any woman, who ever puts a weave on their head, you walk around with the your oppression on your head. What ever happened to being proud of your ethnicity? Trying to look like a European because you feel inferior or you think men like that garbage. See the beauty within, you sensitve creatures….because the weave makes you look ugly as hell.

    1. Reading your comment, I know you have your own opinion, and that's fine, BUT… I can bet that you're one of the many people that don't mind it when a woman wears make-up on her face. It's just the same as weave…

  91. I think all the women on here that say they love themselves may actually do so, but you damn sure aren't as confident, in any regard, as the women who is proud to not have that bullshit on their hair.. BIG UPS to the NATURAL BLACK WOMEN, pray for those who are anything other.

  92. Personally I think whoever wrote this is extremely ignorant and should not make a stance about something when their writing is juvenile…everyone who wears a weave name is not necessarily shrarefeitte I go to a predominately white college and you will see a white girl named Becky or a spanish girl named Rosa wearing weave in their hair, yes black females wear weave and I don't think its a lie its our prerogative and honestly I don't think its a male place to even dictate what women do to enhance their beauty who the heck gave men this authority of judgment? The ignorance comes in when you mention Good Hair the hair shed by the indian woman as a religious sacrifice is not necessarily hair you can buy in a pack at the local beauty supply store its literally hair that our favorite actresses and singers wear and can afford…the same actresses and singers such as Beyonce, Nia Long and Lauren London that men glorify as sex symbols and expect their mate to meet up to these expectations…this indian hair is actually extremely expensive and the average plain jane cannot afford it…whoever wrote this I would love to see your girlfriend she better if you have one because she better look like India Irie…since you hate weave so much

  93. It doesnt matter whether or not you like weaves or not?

    Black women and girls go through the same bullshit day by day!! So not neccesary:/ If you dont like them then go find a bycth that doesnt have them!! All of us aren't fortunante to have long flowing beautiful hair! Not even all white people, so back the hell up with this mess… cause white people have weaves allll the damn time get your google on!! 🙂 Dumb ass!! And by the way judgin a girl by her hair.. your gonna miss out!!! She might be the perfect one for you!!!

  94. Weaves look very unattractive to me…it's very fake and it doesn't look normal on black women. Unless they have baldness or something tragic going on, they need to work with their own hair. A man can tell your hygiene and health by the way your hair looks, that's why sisters can't take the short cut. They need to eat right, exercise and keep their hair clean. No old school hair care anymore. Weaves look like you're lazy and don't want to manage what's yours. I'd find that unattractive if I were a man.

  95. I happened upon this post quite randomly and funnily enough while I was goggling weave..gasps yes..i was looking to purchase some of what seems to be closely associated to toxic waste according to a few commentators here. My take on weave is this..wear/do what you like cuz u like it..not cuz some1 tells you u should or shouldn't.. I take no side really for or against weaves/wigs and the lot based on the author's reasoning..but it always amuses me that someone can have such a high opinion of their own ideals that if one fails to fall in line well then you are a clearly sub-par and worthy of only loathing and mockery..

    I have done Everything and I mean everything possible with my hair that can be done..mostly because i'm constantly bored and I feel like one of the few things in my life that I can control and change to suit myself and express myself is my hair. I have over the years cut off my hair, grew it back countless times from the age of 13 to a few years ago at 20. In and between had braids, perms, curls, crazy colours..whatever caught my fancy really..

    And one of the most interesting things I learnt and experienced while having natural hair in those periods was that "black people" admire natural hair the least.. yea they talk a good game around the coffee table but..it's mostly conditional..like yes you should wear ur natural hair but only if its a certain type or grade..like a guy i know hates weaves but thanks his lucky stars everyday for his very own Lisa Bonnet..I remember sitting in a plane travelling through the caribbean and this white frenchman who had embarked at the St. Maarten stop and sat at me staring at me well my hair for a good 10 mins before he says wow i really like your hair..it's very rare to see a black woman with her hair natural and short like that..me being the engaging rather than confrontational type decided to take it in the good (albeit rude) faith in which it was intended and we went on to have a rather interesting discussion on black people and our observed insecurities. I should insert here that during this period more blacks reacted negatively to my hair than the supposed "oppressors" who sometimes turned out to be my only champions..

    Another time a indian guy who was feelin me comments.." u know i like ur hair, it's real cute, it nappy but it cute" My friend, and obsessive permer, over hears this and takes it upon herself to be insulted on my behalf and black women everywhere..me? i didn't see the insult, as is "nappy" really derogatory?

    But anyway I strayed rather far from the issue at hand which is that I don't feel the need to justify my preferences to any man, woman or child..about 2 mths ago i thought hmm..i want to do a weave so i did..(i'm not even gonna give a long story about transtioning or going bald ..yadda yadda i grew back my hair from my last BIG CHOP 2-3yrs ago and i should say i did it all in the open in. by in…lol)..so who knows what i might do by the end of the year..

    I hope that at the end of all my ramblings someone caught my point which was be what you want to be..forget what the masses try to tell you to be because their opinion changes with the wind.. I just want black women to be comfortable with themselves and feel free to make up their own minds about their likes and dislikes and not be constantly apologising for them.

    BTW..i'm still blown away by the bigotry i've read here,that people are actually equating wearing a weaving to being "unclean"..WOW..is all i can say..i assume these individuals are referring to women from the ghetto and that sort..hmm this rather smacks of classism..a underlying and major issue among us blacks something we like to keep hush hush..right?

  96. Renee said: "…the hair shed by the indian woman as a religious sacrifice is not necessarily hair you can buy in a pack at the local beauty supply store its literally hair that our favorite actresses and singers wear and can afford…the same actresses and singers such as Beyonce, Nia Long and Lauren London that men glorify as sex symbols and expect their mate to meet up to these expectations…"

    I think this is an interesting point. You hear so many black men say how they "hate weave" yet they are panting after Beyonce and all these other black celebrity women who are weaved-up within an inch of their lives. Do they seriously think B and them girls are all natural? And you can believe they wouldn't be kicking those chicks out of bed for eating crackers. It reminds me of the men who also profess to hate fake boobs and eye makeup. They all need to STFU with it. Men who say they hate something women wear really hate whatever inconvenience that beauty enhancement brings to them. That's what they actually mean. For example a man may hate makeup because it takes his woman too long to put it on when he wants to go somewhere or he hates the fact that the lipstick rubs off on his shirt. With weave he probably hates that he can't run his fingers through it or it smells bad or something like that. Men don't really give a rats ass about the particularities of what you do to look good. They just see the whole picture. They just appreciate that whatever you're doing is seamless and doesn't interfere with their life.

    1. To be honest, natural hair takes a bit longer to maintain so I won't agree on that.

      Also, some women can pass off weave and wigs as having nothing to do with low self-esteem but just wanting to try a different look, but what about make-up? Are you also trying a different look?

      The inconvenience with make-up and weave is that some women look completely different without it and its basically false advertisement. Since you present yourself as something you are not.

  97. …weaves, hair extensions, nail extensions, fake eyelashes, padded bras. It's life dude deal with it.

    I like the freedom of switching hair styles based on my mood. Lol and for the record no amount of pulling is going to rip the hair out of a good weave..!

  98. Men could use some enhancements themselves. Shoe lifts if you're short as hell, hair transplant if you're bald, pedicure for your bear claw feet and manicure too. I would really love for men to shave under their arms. Arm pit hair is f*cking disgusting, and hit the b*lls while you're at it and belly hair you hirstute-a** monkey men. LOL.

  99. I'm not surprised at the number of angry comments, the truth is a hard pill to swallow.

    You can point out the white and Asians, but the fact is Whites and Asians are the same races that black women get their hair from. I don't see the need to pay 100$+ every few weeks to protect your natural hair or break down your hair using products in order to get a straighter ( less colored) look.

    – I hate weave, make-up, and silicon and don't date women who engage in such. (Yes im in a relationship)

  100. I had my hair straightened and now I am transitioning it to its natural state. I considered doing another big chop, but I like having longer hair.

    Dreadlocks look really beautiful, so I'm considering that. Natural hair looks better and it doesn't cost an arm and a leg to keep it up.

    Now the challenge for me living in a predominately white and asian city, is finding a salon that caters to natural hair.

  101. i went from perms to locks and rocked my hair natural in between. i don't think there is ever an excuse to be something that you are not. that long silky straight stuff (especially blonde weave) is just so wrong unless you have a medical condition. LOVE YOURSELF-> WHAT GOD GAVE YOU IS FINE! THEY ARE LAUGHING (AT US) ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK

  102. You guys need to say this more often instead of staring quietly. Side note: at first, one could be fooled with weave but now some women are too sloppy. I was staring at a cowoker in a staff meeting today because of all the gel she had in her hair (trying to blend in her hair and the bone straight weave), lol.

  103. PLEASE……Don't always judge women who wear weaves or hairpieces as being self-hating or vain…as someone who due to a medical condition (Androgenetic Alopecia) is REQUIRED to wear hairpieces such as lace fronts, or wigs, I would LOVE to have my own hair to play with…unfortunately, I don't have any hair left!!! And my self esteem (and sanity) is more important than what others think or feel…Just putting it out there.

  104. Okay… I understand where you are coming from, but did it occur to you that some of us qomeon wear it because we have things like psoriasis. Look it up it's not pretty. And it's not even my fault. Its some total fluck. It was once in my bloodlines now it's in me. Then on top of that diabetes makes my hair stop growing.

  105. Women get weave for a whole lot of different reasons. Some because they're transitioning, some to cover conditions like alopecia and others because simply it looks good when done right. For me, I weave it up just so I don't have to flat iron my hair everyday, which adds up to a crazy amount of wear and tear and split ends over time. Yiiiikes. My natural hair is pretty long too.

  106. I'm a woman. I hate weaves.

    I did try to weave my hair once, a few years ago. It was a beautiful looking weave and cost me a lot of money. I had it on over night. In the morning I was back in the salon demanding they take it out. They couldn't understand:

    I felt like I'd slept with a hat on.

    I like to touch my hair, and every time I touched it there were tracks on my head.

    It felt eerie to touch my head and not feel my scalp.

    It had to go.

    They tried to get me to keep it for three days and see if I'd get used to it, being my first time and all. I told them to take it off or I would. They took it off and I told them to keep it – do whatever with it.

    I appreciate a well-done weave on other people – I might even say 'Your hair-do looks good'. But I could never weave my hair. I tried it and couldn't stand it.

    Have you written an post on SPANX? Lol!! Coz I'd love to read that one! Email me a link if you have, won't you? If you haven't…well what are you waiting for – give us a laugh.

  107. This is one of the reason why i do not date black men. I date white men because they haven't objections of what type of hair i prefer to wear on my head. Yes i have a weave and have worn weaves for about 10 years now. My man love it and he loves me, and yes he is a white man. So all you black men out there who have something negative about woman who wear weaves, maybe you should look in the mirror, yes there is something there that does need some inhancement/exstention yes you heard me right. Anything you were not born with these days you can always buy it. So for those black men hating weaves take a sistah advice!!!

  108. Its funny u hate em.. u'd be suprised…I'm findin that a lot of guys perfer them…mainly the ones who are soo into that whole "bad bitch" phrase and think that a black woman is only a trophy if she has long..straight or curly weave streaming down to her back..tight clothes..big booty..small waist. This one dude actually wouldn't date me unless I agreed to let him get my hair done w/lots of weave… I simply don't wear sewn in weaves cuz my hair is soo thick it could never match the texture and I don't wanna perm my hair b/c I fear it'd ruin it and I like my natural hair. Full sewn ins aren't as appealing to me either. I usually rock braids or my natural hair but right now I been wearin a wig and it's crazy! I noticed I get compliments on it all the time and get hit on even more..I don't like how black men always comment on every single thing black women do and critque em soo damn harshly.. I think sum1 can do what they feel is right for them..what I don't like is how black women put other black women down for rocking their natural hair or bring each other down and talk crap about u when they feel some type of jealousy. Or black men who bring their own women down because they can't get with them.I just don't get why this whole race generally hates soo hard on themselves and their own. Im African and the hate I've experienced here in America, makes me glad I'm not Black American and can classify myself with my REAL country and not with the blacks here in AMerica (not all) who do nothing but rip eachother to shreds and embarass every1 with dark skin. People need to learn about their roots… weaves are just an on the surface topic! I don't care what's on your head…lift others up, not drag them down with you. (speaking to all..not js the author of this blog)

  109. Im so glad I found this site. I HATE weave. Women that wear it are liars, LOL. But seriuosly if black parents just took care of their kids hair NATURALLY from birth, these women wouldn't have to or want to wear that GARBAGE in their heads. If you dont love your hair you dont love yourself. It is an extension (not weave) of who God made you.

  110. This whole post sickens me! Why do we equate someone's hair with who they are inside? We put too much emphasis on what we see, whether it be hair, clothing or jewelry. I wear weave not because I'm insecure or lacking something on the inside, it's JUST MY PERSONAL PERFERENCE. Truth be told underneath all the weave I am natural and have been for 10 years. Why can't we as black women respect each others differences. Just like people with weaves can look raggety as one writer commented, people who are natrual can look ratty too … just because it's natural doesn't make it beautiful. Just do YOU, wear what you feel is becoming and stop trying to mold or judge everyone else!!! Thank God I have a man who allows me to be myself, whether it be wearing my natural locs or a weave, as long as it's neat and becoming he's not hung up what's NOT.

  111. Melanie, your man probably stays mum because he doesn't want to hear your mouth, and he wants to make sure he can get a piece of ass when he needs it.

    Weaves are ugly and FAKE.

    1. He's very verbal and smart might I add … network engineer , he's a real man, not a closed minded b*$#$ a bastard like you who has nothing better to do than post online –I bet you're just as ugly and fake as you feels weaves are or else you wouldn't be hiding behind a keyboard talking such sensless trash…. and by the way, he's probably turned down more ass than you've gotten in your entire life!

  112. you sound like a dick, let people wear what they want to wear and be what they want to be. no one is saying that you can be an ass..

  113. You see, now and days, it only matters to men about what's sitting on top of a girl's head rather than what her heart has to offer.

    I wear weave, so it automatically makes me a liar and fake, huh?

    I don't always wear my natural hair, so I MUST be insecure about myself, huh?
    DO NOT ASSUME!

    If one is so concerned about a woman's outter appearence rather than her personality, than that person will forever be miserable and single!!!! If my man wants to rock a f*cking hair piece, SO WHAT? It doesn't make me see him any differently!

    And watch yourself, it's not only the black women that wear weave (white, asian, latino, etc)
    And if someone feels such a strong hate towards wearing weave, I can only imagine how they must feel about eyeliner or lipstick, or any other cosmetics!

    1. You may or may not be insecure, but this is the truth: weaves are a lie. The facts: unlike white and other women with naturally straight hair, black women are wearing weaves to COVER UP as opposed to ENHANCE what they have. Undeniable truth: most black people are ashamed of the hair they were born with and they think it's ugly. That's why many black men will ignore a natural sister and be all over the one in a weave or the mixed chick or the white girl. They have been conditioned to find long, silky hair more beautiful than nappy hair. Bottom line.

  114. To all the black women out there, I am a young black and I agree with what this man is attempting to point out here. I too prefer black women who embrace their natural beauty because they realize that, natural beauty is the only beauty. But then again we have to embrace the ideal: 'to each his/ her own' and, everyone has a free will and so don't be deterred from wearing weave just because we don't agree with them but then don't expect us to come and ask you out on a date or anything.

    1. LOL. Smart women will realize that their natural hair is a a**hole detector and will be pleased that men who don't like their hair pass them up. That way, they can accept a date from a man who truly appreciates their beauty.

  115. I'm against weaves!! They are so awful looking on girls and you can see the damage it does to a girls hairline. Most of the girls I know where them at work, and you can see how bad they look. It seems like ALL black women wear them. It turns me off to black women because if you are going to wear a crappy weave and not take care of it, then you may as well pay for a $10 haircut. Also, why are you putting that stuff in your child's hair? So by 15 she won't have a hairline either? What are we teaching little girls by doing that to them? I don't care if you have long flowing hair I just want your natural hair. If women took care of their natural hair they wouldn't need or want weaves. Other races of men might not care because they don't see it as often as a black man would.Half the time they are just happy enough to have a black woman in the first place. If you are paying 300 bucks for your tracks to still be showing, you need to get your money back. I have never seen a GOOD WEAVE before. They are done so bad.

  116. I would never wear a weave. I'm scared to. I've got friends who wear weaves and they're all bald headed around the front and sides of their heads when they take their weaves out.

  117. This post sickens me. I am a black woman from South Carolina and I have long natural hair, always have However, i reserve the right to wear to do as I damn well please and wear a weave because I can play around with length, color, texture etc. I sometimes want to wear that sassy bob, but I'm not cutting my waist length hair to do that. I sometimes want to wear that Angela Davis fro, but my hair wont do that either. I like to try colors but they inevitably damage your hair. The easiest way to change a look and not drastically alter what God gave me is to wear a weave. I am not ashamed of my healthy hair because its beautiful. So am I! I take issue with any man making a mandate about how a woman should present herself. If its not for you fine, but don't you dare judge me and assume I'm hiding when I'm simply experimenting. Life for me is about change and experimentation. Its about trying different things and new experiences. I like to try different looks. My man has seen my natural hair and loves it. However, he understands that to keep hair that long and healthy; I have to give it a rest. Judge Not lest ye be judged. If you hate weave cool, but don't you dare go out of your way to use your patriarchal dominance to oppress my creativity. I am proud of my thick, healthy, hair and Im still proud and when im not wearing my hair We need your encouragement not your judgement. I am not a liar. I am a phenomenal woman with a mind to do as she damn well pleases! I'm done! (drops mike and walks away…hips swaying, flipping my real hair)

  118. Saw a really attractive sister the other day with her hair short – and in twists. I loved it. She looked totally adorable in them. And I told her so. So tired of seeing sisters with fake horsehair – I become so ashamed for some of them. It's almost as if they are clueless how ridic they look.

  119. Now, I’m way late in responding to this situation, but I feel as a woman white or black…99% percent of all woman wear some type of weave this day in age. I’m black and I can tell u my mom and I have soft long curly hair an it’s all natural. We are the same black woman who might where a few clip ins here there on our good days to feel more glamorous. And u know what?? People would never know because it’s looks real. To be honest, we never had a perm in our lives. And to argue on he ether weave makes ur hair grow? It does. I remember when my hair broke off to my shoulders when I was 15. I had weaves put in my head once every other month for about a year. In one year and 6 months, my hair was a natural 16 inches and still counting . But don’t be fooled I rock my spiral curls too. I’m saying all of this to conclude. Don’t believe the hype. Weaves are effective, all races of women wear hair pieces, and not all black women have short hair. It’s a choice. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

  120. ITS A BIT UNFAIR to always penalize black women and our choices of hair,if we wear natural its nappy,id we wear wigs we are planet of the apes,braids and weaves,its not hours,its as well for me to bring up plastic surgery,face ,lips and bum fillers other cultures do all the time,and its acceptable,and as well black men spends purchasing BMW and Mercedes bends cars,not to mention clothes making other cultures rich but our own,and besides black women wears weaves as protective styles when relaxers starting damaging our hair.and besides this allows us to spend money on our own by paying black hair salons to install it,therefore it does go back straight to our community,and enjoying the freedom and versatility of wearing any styles we want.

  121. Oh my, came across this post by googling "I Hate Weaves" low and behold 1st link out.

    I agree SBM weaves or anything fake for that matter is flat out gross. I seriously can't take any woman serious who has anything fake on her person. God dealt you a hand, play it. If you were meant to have ridiculously long, stringy, weird ass hair you'd have it. lmao! Just disgusting!

  122. there is no such thing as "white subliminal messages" that's just nonsense talk…since when did white people force African americans to look white? or have their kind of hair? 8 out of 20 black women wear weave..i encourage my black friends to go natural because they look so nice without the fake locks. I agree with sbm you obviously have to hate your natural afro-hair if you need to cover it up. and theres no point saying "white women do it too" cause in all fareness-whites and other races don't get their weaves changes every week/month and they also don't sleep in it for long periods of time. god gave you afro-hair for a reason…be proud of it!!!

  123. don't wear weave it ugly to me and black husband agree with me oh and i am black too most men hate fake hair so if you single with weave down your back think about stop training to justify your weave is not fly

  124. About you mind your own hair? About you worry about your own life diaty of a mad nigger man. Nobody gives a shit about your judgmental opinion so do us all a favor by shutting the fuck up.

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