Home Advice Things Men Shouldn’t Say to Women

Things Men Shouldn’t Say to Women

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But baby, Tanya made a good point...

As much wisdom as I may claim to have or not have, I still find myself saying a variety of things to a booski-piece that land me in the dog house or on the couch scratching my head trying to figure out why she’s mad. Please note: No woman has ever made me sleep on the couch and I’ve made a promise to myself that it won’t happen unless she or I am drunk, sick and/or contagious. I expect to hold this promise to myself for about 10 years. Hey, at least I’m realistic. Anyways, I’m not going to sit here and act like I’m the only one who slips up and says things that piss women off. All of us men are prone to do it from time to time. So since I’m in a cheery mood and feeling quite philanthropic, I’ve put together a list of things men shouldn’t say to women. Enjoy or hate.

Are you putting on weight?

Let’s just start with the obvious. This probably isn’t the best way to lead into a conversation with a female friend or a significant other regardless of if it’s true. If you want to be eaten alive (#pun), go ahead and use this as a conversation-starter fellas.

My homegirl said…

Most men have close female friends who they’ll go to for relationship advice or when they’re confused and befuddled by the actions of their boo. If you are arguing with your chick, it probably isn’t a good idea to say “My homegirl said” as evidence that your girl/wife is wilding out. Not only will you unleash her inner fury, you’ll inadvertently make her think that your female friend is trying to corrupt your relationship so that you she can slide in.

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That’s not what other girls would do.

“I’m not other girls! Don’t compare me to those heffas!” Enough said.

You should…

Unless your boo or lady friend has specifically asked you for advice on how to handle a particular situation, you probably shouldn’t start any statement with these 2 words. She just wants you to listen and agree regardless of how illogical or irrational her point may be. I know. It sucks. Just make a list of things in your head that she should do while she’s talking and come back to it later after she’s had an orgasm.

I don’t trust any woman…

Even though a good number of us feel this way excluding the women who raised us, you probably shouldn’t say this one either. You’re either gonna make your boo feel like you’re accusing her of something or open yourself up to being called insecure. Just go with “I’ve been burned a few times in the past (#noherp) and I’m guarded about my feelings but working on it.” It walks the fine line of manliness and emo. She might melt when you say this if she has a soul/heart. Otherwise, she’ll probably hurt your feelings.

Your friend is cute.

Seems kinda obvious, but this mistake has been made before. Just because a woman claims to be secure in herself and says her friends are hot doesn’t mean you should tell her that her best friend is mad s*xy. She hesitated about leaving you in a room with her before and definitely won’t let you hang there now. On top of that, you made her mad at her home girl when she didn’t even do anything.

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Anything involving any type of definition of a ho.

Just stay away from this topic all together unless your girl is pure and/or Mormon. #noshots

You look nice today.

“Don’t I look like everyday?!” Yeah, that probably sounds familiar. You’re better off being as specific as can be when using this generic compliment. For example, “you look nice today in that pink thong” or “you look sizzling in those sweat pants with the mustard and mud stains.”

Maybe we should take a break.

If you say this, she will have some type of relations with another guy and it will be your fault.

Did you eff him?

She probably wouldn’t even tell you if she did unless she already knows you have evidence. Just leave it alone man. Leave it alone. Do you really want to open the door to “Is that all you f*ckin’ care about?!”

So these are just some of the things that came to mind. I urge all the women out there to forward this to the men that are not yet aware of this website. But for today, what additions do you all have? Fellas can definitely get in on this too. We’ve all said some dumb ish over the years.

See Also:  Are you ready for an open relationship? by @Maxfab

Avoiding the taste of my foot day by day,

Comment(71)

  1. Oh, the coveted bitch is not on here. NEVER, EVER do it. You can think it but you better not let that come out of your mouth!

    1. You can say this to a women just dont call the women you're talking to a b!tch unless your gay (The gays get away w/ this) NTTAWT. Men should only use the word when referencing a specific female in which the woman you're talking to just referenced as a b!tch. E.g. Girl: "That b!tch Tanya ratted me out to the Supervisor when I was late to change the grease for the fries. Boy: That B!tch did what?!?!?!"

  2. LOL. loves it.

    truth.

    the homegirl, the ho, and the take a break ones are EXACT! lol.

    although i DO think there is a huge difference between a man saying "your friend is cute," and "your best friend is mad sexy." cause mine is… and… well i've been there. it isn't pretty. lol

  3. "Are you on your/getting your period?"
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH THOSE ARE FIGHTING WORDS RIGHT THERE!

    In my last relationship, I would notice a little too late that I became a raging b*tch when I had PMS. So I asked the dude to give me a head's up when he saw the signals so I could try to put myself in check before having to make one of those "I'm sorry, it's the hormones" apologies. Next month comes along and I'm ripping him a new one for some egregious act like not putting his dish back in the sink and he says "I think you might be getting your period because you're a little hyper…". Before the sentence was out of his mouth the dish was flying across the room. Ooops.

    1. lmaooooo!! i know this one…

      for some reason the hormonal bitch in me didn't kick in until this last year or so…

      1st i'm annoyed

      2nd i'm crying

      i won't let him catch me crying but I know he can tell i'm on the edge… I couldn't figure out for the life of me why i was so damn emotional… cry? me? never.

      1. WOW! I had this EXACT conversation with some1 last night! I never used to PMS up until last year. I was getting annoyed with co workers breathing rhythms and just wanted to flip my desk! LOL For the life of me, I didn't know why… I blame global warming lol

        1. LMAO!! I'm dead over here at that flip my desk comment!

          I do have to control that incredible hulk in me around that time… like I physically have to concentrate on NOT snapping my effin lid.

        2. Im sorryI will ask this question all the time! Yall be WILDING with the PMS!

          Then some of yall get madd when we pull the card. Im sorry I got a mom and sisters… I know when it's PMS and normal anger!

    2. Man…..I just deal with that the other day. I warned him that I was emotional. He didn't use that line though. By the end of the conversation, he told me I was being a horrible person. Whatever the hell that means….lol

  4. YOU HIT THE NAILS RIGHT ON THE HEAD!!! …alot of us females say its ok to be honest with us and don't hold back your thoughts.."baby we are supposed to tell each other everything"……..but trust me its a DEATH trapp. keep your comments to yourself…..until 3.6789 seconds before we climax! (and even then you'll wonder why she wakes up tripping the next morning)

  5. LMAO!!!…

    Amen to "Just listen"…offering advice when I didn't ask for it is a NO NO!! All I want to do is vent, once I'm through, I'm through, I don't want to hear any "You shoulda", "You coulda", or "well Maybe's"…dude…I ain't ask for alla that! Just hush. When you hear "baby what do you think I should do?" THAT'S your cue to give advice…otherwise, shut it up! LOL

    and Co-sign Max…if you value your life please don't associate rightful anger as PMS…just.don't.do.it.

    OH and my biggest thing…please don't go behind me and fact check. If you ask me something that you KNOW I know, don't come back two hours later and say "well such and such said you were right…" *steam coming out of ears*

  6. On point!! Oh, and never question her sanity even in jest….it just exacerbates a situation needlessly. We all have a little crazy in us, and I will SHOW YOU MORE CRAZY if you keep on asking about it……so don't ask.

  7. I'm also not a fan of "you watch too much Oprah". Usually said when a woman tries to discuss the relationship or – gasp! – feelings. As if Oprah has brainwashed us all and we're incapable of independent thought.

    1. is this related to the

      "you listen to your friends too much"

      comment. Or any other comment refering to you being a follower.

  8. I agree with this list. Except, I think the generic "you look nice" is a little better than "you like nice in ."

    I have another addition… do not say anyting about her weave. Seriously, to suggest she might look better without it might get you cut. lol. j/k.

  9. Despite the consequences, some things need to be said. If she’s gained more than ten pounds, it’s best to go ahead and tell her. Sure, she’ll fly off the handle as women are wont to do, but if it wasn’t that, she’d be nagging about something else, so go ahead and think about football while she’s rambling on about how mean you are. When she comes back to the land of grown-ups, she’ll realize you were just looking out for her best interests.

    But saying something like “your friend is cute” is suicide. Leave those thoughts in your head and check out her cleavage while the SO isn’t looking.

    1. you think a woman doesn't already know she's put on more than 10 lbs? I say only talk about it if she brings it up first and you are helping her carve out a fitness plan to lose it. otherwise you might get told about yourself.

      1. It's not that she doesn't know, it's being proactive and stopping it before it gets out of hand. What if she doesn't attempt to do anything about it until she's gained fifty pounds? Am I to silently forklift her around town until she says something? Sorry, she is going to just have to get over her feewings.

        And like I mentioned, if I'm not told about myself for telling her she's gaining weight, I'll be told about myself for putting the toilet paper on the holder underhand instead of overhand, or some other ridiculous reason. Her telling me about myself isn't going to solve her problem, so she might as well be an adult about it and head to the gym with me.

        1. My how charming you are

          And just how soon would you get over your feelings and be an adult about it when Shes proactive and tells you about the last 3 sessions not being up to par or what shes used to, and that maybe you should consider a perscription for the little blue pill

    2. I would suggest a more stealth approach to the weight issue. My s.o. recently got me a new "toy" to play with while he's deployed – a Wii along with the EA Active and FitPlus games. I love that man, but I know stealth exercise when I see it, lol.

      1. LOL at the stealth approach. Videogames can work, but I'm pretty sure the "Look honey! I found a treadmill on Craigslist for 50 dollars! I'll put it in the livingroom for you us!" is would be an incredible fail.

  10. "Are you putting on weight?"

    My ex said this to me once and, surprisingly, I didn't freak out. Why? Cause I knew it was true. Lol…

    He said he still loved me, but that I was lookin a little thick. I was sad for about an hour, sucked it up and joined Jenny Craig a few days later. Lost 25 lbs (and eventually the ex), but I was much happier about myself. So, I think this can be done, you just need to know your woman well before you do it.

  11. If someone gets mad because I said she looks nice TODAY then the compliments would end there. Nothing says ungrateful and insecure more than someone who can't take a compliment.

    As far as the weight, better I say it than for her to be walking around disillusioned with her jelly pouch protruding.

    1. On point brother, on point. This is just too many rules and its annoying. Everyone has 'rules' nowadays cos everyone has an unrealistic image of themselves. Just find a way to get along and if you can't then split off. People just need to accept that reality sometimes sucks.

  12. I pretty much agree with this list. The only thing I would add is "Are you done yet?' Did I say that I was finished? Maybe I wanted to take deep breath and organize my thoughts before I continued. I'll tell you when I'm finished don't try to speed me through my conversation.

  13. good post son. the only one i can 100% cosign is the first one. women and talking about weight issues go together like oil and water. there are some things you just don't say (unless they are positive).

    if i told my s/o that she looked nice that day and she came back with "don't i look nice everyday?" thats the easiest way for her to get told about herself. i don't deal well with people who can't take compliments. good thing she's pretty vain and takes all the compliments she can get. lolol

    i have no problem recognizing beauty when i see it and i have no problem commenting on it either. doesn't mean i want to eff her. i just think she's cute. hell she probably finds some of my boys attractive and i have no problem with that whatsoever.

  14. I'll add my two cents in saying that men should shy away from saying "chill out" when their girls are upset. It's so friggin' dismissive and is like adding gas to an already lit fire.

    1. Sometime women need to be to chill out and sit the eff down and shut the eff up. (This has only happened once and the chick didnt notice that the dude she was arguing w/ was carrying)

      1. I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on that one… I know if that's said to me or any of my friends, we have an automatic issue.

  15. lmao @ Sometime women need to be to chill out and sit the eff down and shut the eff up.

    Yep sometimes we do

    Truer words were never spoken

    Sometimes

    But we aint talking bout those damn times right now

  16. Laurinsofia: ”My how charming you are

    And just how soon would you get over your feelings and be an adult about it when Shes proactive and tells you about the last 3 sessions not being up to par or what shes used to, and that maybe you should consider a perscription for the little blue pill”

    Not that I was attempting to charm anyone, but on to the substance of your comment.

    If a woman had typical age-related weight gain, that’s not a problem and not what is being referred to here. If a woman is simply overeating and sedentary, that’s a different issue entirely, and it’s telling that you would be more concerned about a woman’s feelings being spared than her health and appearance. I have no need for a blue pill, but even if I got out of shape, and my blood pressure and bodyfat increased to a point that I developed erectile dysfunction, then yes, my woman would perfectly be in her right to make an issue of it and I should attend to my health. Even if my lovemaking wasn’t what she was accustomed to sans erectile dysfunction, yes, I would be able to take an honest criticism, get over my feelings and be an adult about it. If what she was saying is true, I have two choices; pout about it or do something about it. I would also be remiss if I didn’t point out that when a woman is upset, she is quick to point to imagined sexual inadequacies.

    You appear to be saying a woman has the right to do and say whatever she likes, and a man has to silently endure it. She’s getting fat, shut up about it. She is wrong about something, shut up about it. She tells you about a problem, don’t dare offer any advice unless prompted. Well, I pick my battles, but I offer no apologies for not being a spineless, “yes dear”, pushover type of man. In fact, not being so is very effective at weeding out crazy, domineering women.

    1. I see what your aiming for but Let me be clear The post is What not to say to a woman ie For how she may take it May be your demise In your post I saw no caring for her health More so her apperance "Am I to silently forklift her around town until she says something? Sorry, she is going to just have to get over her feewings." If this is as plainly as you can discribe your SO's weight gain I wonder why her feelings would not be considered My coment Intentionally geared towards a mans sexual competence Was meant to hit That nerve For a woman weight gain or flucuation is our That nerve and should be address a little more delicately

      And a Why would only Your health in regards to your erectile dysfunction put her Well within her rights to bring it to your attention? So if you have a couple of bad nights In a row and it has nothing to do with your health Am I just to grin satisfactorly and bear it

      Im just saying

      Things you should never say to a man " I faked it every time"

      1. Laurinsofia : ” The post is What not to say to a woman ie For how she may take it”

        True. My original comment stated some things need to be said regardless of her feelings.

        ” May be your demise In your post I saw no caring for her health”

        I can understand that, but it’s not that I wouldn’t use tact in telling her she’s gaining weight, it’s that I wouldn’t ignore that she is gaining weight simply because her feelings might be hurt. Just as there is emotional pain hearing that you are gaining weight, there is similar pain when a woman gains a significant amount of weight. The latter is worse because now you have pain and excessive weight gain with even more people noticing you've obviously gained weight, instead of pain with a little weight gain, which could probably be concealed under your clothing. My subsequent comments were in regard to Reecie's comment about my first post.

        ”Why would only Your health in regards to your erectile dysfunction put her Well within her rights to bring it to your attention? So if you have a couple of bad nights In a row and it has nothing to do with your health Am I just to grin satisfactorly and bear it”

        No, you shouldn’t. That’s why I said, “Even if my lovemaking wasn’t what she was accustomed to sans erectile dysfunction, yes, I would be able to take an honest criticism, get over my feelings and be an adult about it.” Closed mouths don't get fed, after all.

        1. Hugh, I think that you're reasoning is spot on, but let me share a little "woman's insight" with you. Weight (gain or loss) for women is an emotional issue. And trust, if your woman gains noticeable weight someone has told her about it. Especially if she has a mother or female friends. Plus I'm sure she has a mirror or some jeans that don't fit to let her know what's up. So be relieved – the burden of breaking this news to your sweetie is not yours. And the last thing you as her man want to do is be associated in her mind with insecurity and self doubt (we have the diet and beauty industry for that, thank you.) Doesn't mean you can't help, but try making healthy meals, buy her a wii, take her out for more physical/outdoorsie dates and kick up your own health routine. And the ultimate jedi mind trick – next time she complains about her weight just say, "Actually, you look like you might be losing some weight – those after dinner walks must be paying off." And if it seems like a lot – it's easier than dealing with the aftermath of telling her flat out "You's gettin' big, guhl!" That's a quick way to get shut out of the dug out, lol.

        2. I agree, and you dont want to keep us hungry LOL Im glad we're clear I mean i could hear all the above phrases if handle tactfuly and with some care Except are you putting on weight Theres no coming back from that or saves lol

          A homegirl i had before I met you told me ……. Save

          Thats not what other girls would do thats why I like you so much ……. Epic save

          You should wear your hair like that more ofter It looks nice………Save

          I never trust a woman who cant trust herself…….Save

          Maybe we should take a break and spend some time apart and see But lets be celibate about it And if you need some during our time apart you need to come on home to daddy and get it (lets be clear) My TI voice

          You look nice today as everyday…………Save A lil thick but still a save

          Your friend is cute, but she has nothing on you baby……….Save

          Did you eff him …… uuuuuuhhhh No save on this cause you know you dont wanna know that So dont ask

          Im a pass on the Ho referrencing too Indeed too touchy a subject

  17. The Let's take a break one is the truth. A lot of my friends that were on "breaks" ended up messin with other dudes. If you wanna break it off then just break it off before you get mad at her later on. A lonely unhappy girl will find someone else with the quickness.

  18. Add to the list, "Did you have an orgasm/Did you come ("um" instead of "ome" though :-))?"

    That is so freaking annoying! Like OBVIOUSLY I'm sitting here with this mad face because I DID NOT! F.A.I.L.

    1. I just think its in extremely poor taste to ask someone this. Also, a lot of women don't always climax but that doesn't mean they didn't enjoy the experience and men seem to see that as defeat anyway. don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to. period.

      1. Some people have passive orgasms no matter how bomb they say it feels. If I'm unclear as to what her enthusiasm means, I need to clarify so that I know if I can wipe off my chin/go for my own gold.lol.

        1. I've never bought that "enjoy the experience" line. Almost feels like a "Well, you tried" pep talk. I rather ask and get the answer to my face and do what needs to be done, as opposed to not asking and being talked about…..to the dude that's now rockin her drizzaws.

        2. ok that's fine Lex, but the difference between me and you is that I have a vagina and you don't. this is exactly why women fake orgasms.

        3. @ Reecie

          LOL…I have a car. Doesn't mean I know how to fix it. That's why I take it to a mechanic so he can do.what.he.does.

          ^^^^^^

          I think that was a pretty hot metaphor. I'm just gonna go ahead and pat myself on the back for that one.

        4. there is the outside O

          then theres the inside O

          the outside O can be faked and done well and done for many a reason

          the inside O can not and will not be duplicated or immitated

          You will always know when hitting the inside O

        5. @laurinsofia

          yes ma'am! men don't want to hear that though. they want to think that they give you outstanding inside Os every single time. lol

  19. In addition to "my homegirl said", let's add, "my mama said… (fill in the negative)" My ex-SO said that to me one time and I saw red. I tried to control my reaction and not flip the eff out on him. His mother had never met me and she certainly had no business trying to presume what she THOUGHT she knew about me….sorry flashbacks…anyway, if she's never met your mom (or even if she has) and you say "my mama said…", you may wanna take cover….just sayin

  20. "Maybe we should take a break.

    If you say this, she will have some type of relations with another guy and it will be your fault."

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    Chuuuuch, Temple, Synagogue, And all other places of worship. Don't end up like Ross and Rachel son.

    “Did you have an orgasm/Did you come?"

    As a Board Certified Cocksman, I have to say that this question is allowed, but only by certified cocksmen. Here's the difference:

    Non-certified cats do not have the training to recognize the audio, visual and physical signs of woman's orgasm, probably doesn't provide his partner(s) with orgasm(s) often, so he's asking because no clue.

    Board certified cocksmen ask this question for two reasons: 1. You're screaming your head off, alcohol is involved and he can't discern the "this is the best d*ck ever" screams from the "Holy sh*t I've never cum so hard" screams. 2. You've cum about 5 or 6 times and your body is no longer to provide w/ audio and visual signs…he just wants to make sure you get the 7th before he gets his.

    How do you know when you're dealing with a Cocksman? Oh…..you'll know.

  21. Didnt think I would make it on here today… smfh!

    Commenting on your boos homies is a recipe for disaster IF your boo is insecure. This is when you should know her well enough to know if you should comment like that. THis is especially true for "those friends" they have who always get the compliments and ppl know they sweat. That will be an extra jab.

    One thing you should never say?

    "OK"

    … especially after a long heart felt statement…unless you want to piss her off! lol

  22. Anna N: ”Weight (gain or loss) for women is an emotional issue.”

    Trust me, I know. Not only did I mentioned that in my last post, but I’ve dated several women in my lifetime. But give me some credit; I’m not sure why you’d think I’d tell my woman, “You’s gettin’ big, guhl!” Things that someone may view as hurtful can be said with tact. For me, being a part-time personal trainer is a plus because usually the woman I'm dating will ask me to help them before I have to say anything.

    Anike Love: Add to the list, “Did you have an orgasm/Did you come (“um” instead of “ome” though )?”

    I never ask this. Then again, if you know what you are doing, you shouldn’t have to…or at the very least he shouldn't leave you "sitting (t)here with th(at) mad face "

  23. Man I HATE commenting late in the day! Okay, the worst thing he can say to me is, "I don't treat (insert somebody he is not fucking – brother, male friend, boss at work) like that." Please do not compare our relationship or how we relate to one another to how you relate to somebody else with whom you are NOT involved in a romantic relationship with. IT IS NOT THE SAME.

  24. This list is right on *thumbs up*, 'cept "Anything involving any type of definition of a ho."

    Me being the "purity princess" that I am, would probably just nod along while saying 'indeed' :p

    A couple of years ago, I had a former boo mention that I had put on weight and I didn't have a problem with him saying it. I was more surprised that he felt comfortable enough to say something to me and I just really appreciated him being honest.

  25. Writing regularly is important in blogging and being able to have a niche which you are excited about makes this job a hell of a lot easier for you in the long term as you are not struggling for ideas as to what to write about.

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