The following is a scenario that took place between Shemar and Bernadette over the phone. It is important to note that these 2 have been “talking” for a couple months now. One day, Shemar is driving from Boston to New York and decides to call Bernadette since he hasn’t spoken to her in a couple weeks and since nobody else seems to be answering their phone, though they have exchanged text pleasantries. Little does Shemar know that he’s about to get a headache…**Law & Order sound**
Shemar: Hey, what’s up?
Shemar: Everything okay?
Bernadette: Yep. **Silence ensues**
Shemar: Whatchu up to this weekend?
Bernadette: Wow. Really? How you gonna just call me and act like we been talkin’ every day?
Shemar: Have we not been exchanging messages?
Bernadette: I said “talk”. It’s like everything was going well and then you just disappeared.
Shemar: Yo. I told you I been mad busy. Why are you wildin’ out?
Bernadette: Last I heard from you, we were supposed to be makin’ plans. Then out of no where you go AWOL ‘cept for a few text messages. What’s the deal?
Shemar: I really haven’t had time to hit you up. My bad. Didn’t think it was that crucial. Damn, I thought sh*t was cool. **Head (not that one) begins to throb** What the eff is your problem?
Bernadette: **Steam shoots out of Bernadette’s ears and a small locomotive sound can be heard.** You are!
Sound familiar? Come on! You know it does. Whether you’re XX or XY, you’ve probably had some variation of this conversation happen at some point in your life. You’re talking to or dating someone and things are going pretty well. You think things are headed in a positive direction and you’re feeling quite optimistic, then the other person drops off the map for a bit then reappears like they never left. Whichever side you’re on, it’s pretty damn annoying and/or frustrating.
I’ve been Shemar Moore. I may not make panties moist look like him, but I’ve been that guy incurring the wrath of some girl and/or woman because I was preoccupied for some period of time and really didn’t have the bandwidth to play cuddly wuddlies or pick up the phone and have a conversation. I’d go along thinking everything was peachy and that the other person was just as busy as me, then find out that it was quite the opposite. Or, maybe they were just as busy but they wanted me to show more signs of interest than my occasional message or email that repeatedly hinted at my involvement in other affairs. No, not THOSE type of fairs.
Have I played the other role? Have I been an angry Bernie? Not under these circumstances. If things were going well with a woman and she disappeared out of the blue and then just hit me up like things were normal, I wouldn’t trip at first. On the other hand, if she started making up preposterous stories about where she had been and who what she had been up to, that’s a different story—particularly if we’re in an actual relationship. At that point, I’m a bit more likely to ask a few coy questions and then make a rational judgment call. If we’re just casually dating, I really don’t have a reason to get angry or frustrated. **shrugs**
What about the ladies out there? Do you find yourself getting frustrated like Bernadette? If you’re just talking to a guy and he goes off the map for a bit then returns like things are cool, is that a problem for you? Is there a number of days before you flip the eff out? For the fellas, have you been the Shemar or have you been on the reverse side and had to check a chick for this? And for folks in general, how much does the “title” affect the right to be angry in this type of situation?
Here today. On 3 Ways tomorrow,