Are men afraid of commitment? No because I believe that most men want to settle down at some point which suggests they’re not afraid only putting it off for later. Why?
Simple, because they still have something left in the tank.
Look at Kurt Warner and Brett Favre in the NFL, they are both pretty old now. Their best days are behind them, but they still have something left in the tank and if they can use that remaining gas efficiently they feel they still have some games left to win. They know that they can be of value to the team and instead of just hanging it up and going fishing, they stay in the game.
The better of these two is Kurt Warner because he’s been the most consistent these past few seasons. However, Brett Favre is probably the greatest to ever play the game. It’s just that near the end of the season he always starts making mistakes in the game that show his age. Most men are like Brett Favre we have made the decision to retire but just when it’s time to miss the game we’re back in.
For example, you’ve been talking to a girl for sometime and you’re pretty sure that you’re going to wife her down in a couple of months. Well it’s Friday night and the boys are talking about hitting up Lux Lounge to meet some chicks and try to get them back to the crib. The crib actually means your place because they all live at home with their parents, but you’re not offended by them assuming the crib is actually your crib. Suddenly, you drop everything you’re doing and make that boo-loving call at 8PM instead of 11PM and you go out with your boys.
Now, Kurt Warner is pretty good at the game. He’s been known to break records for his accomplishments on the field. What’s Kurt Warner like in the club? Well Kurt calls the plays at the line, he reads defenses with ease, and he’s been to the Super Bowl and won it, so he knows exactly what it takes to win. When Kurt walks in the club he notices all the cute chicks, the ugly ones, he pump fakes his cell phone to check down those fat friends who may be hiding, he uses his cadence to pull the boyfriend out from behind the bar, and he runs a high powered offense that can withstand any shootout. So if you’re anything like Kurt when you walk in the club, you won’t have any problems meeting the crew that’s really trying to party that night. Who are they? I’m glad you asked. They are one of the following:
· A birthday party – A group of girls on a birthday is an easy win
· A recent breakup party – A group of girls of which one just had a break up is an easy win
· A bachelorette party – Need I say more?
· The local party favors – The group of jumpoffs that are always looking for a good time
· The Ski Party – If you see a bunch of girls standing in line for the bathroom, chances are they will want to keep the party going all night long
Well, it should be like taking candy from a baby from here. Can you see why Kurt would have a problem giving up the game when he’s got a good shot at the championship game each time he plays?
Wait, how would Brett Favre handle this situation? I thought you’d never ask, well this situation ends for Brett one of the following ways:
· He gets too excited and pops a bottle, once receiving the tab he realizes that he’ll be in the house for the next 3 months
· He gets too drunk/high and passes out drunk in a urinal in the club
· In an attempt to do too much he invites too many chicks to the crib
· He tries to convince a really drunk chick to go back to the crib for the win and doesn’t see her fat friend who is taking care of her
I’m not the biggest Brett fan, I’m sorry. But in his defense, what Brett should have done was just lean on the legacy, pass the ball to his young budding all-star who could deliver the win and Brett would get all the credit. #imjustsaying.
The point here is simple, men aren’t ready to hang it up because they like to play the game. They’re good at the game. The game is fun. Of course we all know that eventually we’ll have to let it go, but when is up for discussion. For every Brett Favre there’s a Jim Brown, realizing that you’re so good at the game that it’s best that you go and try something different. But be careful not to be Michael Jordan, leaving the game too early only to come back to the court as a shell of your old self. I’ve seen a few Michael Jordans in my day and they always lose. They end up being let go by the same people who used to idolize them.
Ladies, are you wondering how you can get the guy to head into retirement? That’s the bad news I didn’t want to talk about. There’s literally nothing you can do but remain supportive. At a certain point, he’ll hang up those cleats. (Bring some tissues to the press conference.)
I’m waiting to see who’s going to be at training camp in the fall. In the meantime, let’s just tell the old lady that we’re going to Miami to hang out with the team for the Super Bowl.
Fellas, what do you think? Think I summed it up well. Ladies, do you think this is why some guys won’t hang it up? (I’m interested to hear you disagree with me, when you are the ones who ask men and I just told you.)
– All-Pro QB Dr. J