Home Public Service Announcement RCLS PSA: Super Bowl = Man Mental Outage

RCLS PSA: Super Bowl = Man Mental Outage

Super Bowl commercials count!

On behalf of men everywhere, the writing staff of SBM would like to inform and remind our female readership that every man in your life will be unavailable mentally and possibly physically starting on February 6th, 2010 and running through February 14, 2010.   This extends past your SO, boo-boo, f*  buddy, fiances and husbands.  Your fathers, brothers, male co-workers, subordinates, superiors, mailmen, milkmen, and even the bum outside your office will be absent minded during this 8 day period.  Your FED EX man may deliver mail from two blocks over to your address.   The annoying guy at work that keeps asking you out will ignore you, and drinks at the club will not be free for the next two weeks.

Please be advised SuperBowl XLIV will be held in Miami, FL on Sunday, February 7th, 2010 promptly at 7pm.  This promises to be a very entertaining championship NFL game and will probably be the most watched event of the year thus far.  As one of the highest anticipated events of each calendar year, preparations are being made during this week to ensure readiness for this event and will intensify beginning on February 6th, prohibiting many men from being available to attend to their duties and responsibilities.  Organization for Super Bowl events may interfere with birthday, anniversary, Valentines Day, and Black History month preparation during this period.  If you receive a pair of Jordan’s, a basketball, or an autographed framed Drew Brees jersey, remember that the it’s thought that counts.

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While the SuperBowl will have been decided by 11pm EST on Sunday, the euphoria of the game is forecasted to last for 5 days, given the magnitude of the of this years game, driven by the fairy tale story of the Saints appearance in the game vs. Peyton Manning’s perceived destined greatness.    Immediately following the end of Superbowl euphoria will be NBA All Star weekend, which commences on Friday February 12th, 2010 and ends on Sunday, February 14th, 2010.  This is also a highly anticipated event, featuring several attractions besides the actual All Star game, including but not limited to, the Skills Challenge, the Rookie Challenge, and the Slam Dunk contest (Shannon Brown got more hops than Samuel Adams).

Normal mental and physical abilities are set to be restored on February 15th at 8pm EST, but times can vary.  During the outage, women are advised to avoid conversations that require depth, involve feelings or are considered non-emergency issues.  Visit www.sbxliv.com/emergency or www.allstarweekend.com/emergency-lists for an approved list of official emergencies.  While physical activity such as shoveling walkways, opening doors and taking out trash will be affected, experts predict that male sexual performance will increase due to their concentration on the upcoming sporting events during coitus.  Attempts and expectations for male productivity during this period can result in increase blood pressure levels, migraine headaches, and chest pains in women ages 18-72.  There is also an increased risk of heart attack, stroke, and homicidal urges can increase.   During this brief period we are asking that women exercise the utmost patience with men, as this phenomenon is out of their control.

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In order to combat a high volume of domestic violence calls, refrain from causing a scene while the man in your life is viewing either of these events.   Alleviate the tension by comprising to record your favorite Sunday evening programming or watch it on the internet when it becomes available the following day.  (I’d give websites that make TV programming available on their websites some free advertising, but they don’t cut checks.)  Any women that value the relationships with the men in their lives are advised to heed this warning and forward on to any other women that they feel may benefit from this information.

The next outage is schedule for March 16-April 5th. (Google it.)

Remember…..I warned you.


  1. LMBootayOff, this was flipping hilarious! I love how you guys can use sporting events to justify any behavior. And there are women out there just as into the Superbowl, NBA All-Star weekend, and March Madness (didn't have to Google that one because my ESPN/Yahoo/ABC etc etc brackets are a VERY big deal), as you all are! Sure, some of us might be watching the games solely to admire the tightly packaged spandex derrieres, and the constant eye-candy stimulation (since we won't be getting any stimulation from you all) flashing across the screen, and yeah, we might be picking our bracket wins based off of which team has the finest starting line-up, but shoot, those things are kind of a big deal!

  2. As a Superbowl & All Star Game watching female (although slam dunk contest has fallen way off) I want to tell my sisters to get with it or shut up. The pregame starts around 10 am on ESPN and never stops. You can go to church, go to brunch, work out, watch Lifetime movies and the game will still be hours from starting. Go to the mall (east coast will probably be buried in a foot of snow) but please do not complain. I'm sure there's a "Football for Dummies" book you can buy, get it and study. You can impress your man with your knowledge of the game and laugh and the commercials. Besides have you taken a look of some of those tight ends? damn!!

    Like the last couple of Superbowls, this one should be one for the ages. Peyton and Drew… I for one can't wait. So girls we might get lucky on the 14th and then have great conversation after March Madness. Give em a break.

  3. I agree with ‘Niola, there are women out there who can appreciate this all important mental outage moments and I am one of them lol. Though I don’t really follow football, being that I live in Miami I have no choice, but to deal with it this year. However, I am a huge basket ball fan and I can’t wait for ALL Star Weekend and March Madness (I take my brackets very seriously as well).For the ladies who aren’t fans of sports, this is the perfect time for you to go out and do something just for you while your boo/bf/husband is caught up in the games.

  4. jerzeegirl: "As a Superbowl & All Star Game watching female…I want to tell my sisters to get with it or shut up."

    Four words: listen to the woman. Please be understanding these two weekends, ladies.

    Of course, some woman out there is going to use some idiotic advice she probably read in Cosmo, and make big plans for her and the boo on one of these days, and use it as a "test" of his love: "if you care about me, you'll spend time with me instead of watching the game!"

    And David Stern bears some responsibility for scheduling the All-Star game on Valentines Day. Is he deliberately trying to break couples up?

  5. As a woman, I co-sign! I plan on preparing a variety of foods prior to said events as to not be interrupted during and asked for any condiments, meats, cheeses, or other edible items.

    I will, however, happily replenish all said items (and even be down to give some halftime facetime to the boo) during this silly a** "The Who" performance.

    1. The Who was actually growing on me. Not as bad as I thought…

      The past couple of Superbowls have been good. Bruce is the Man. Prince (Nuff Said).

      Still no one can live up to Mike Jack. The first to do it solo.

      Janet really effed up. I hope someday we could get some really good acts, that we grew up with.

      Run DMC

      Bon Jovi

      Guns and Rose (the orginal)

      and maybe one day:

      Greenday and Hov will be considered classic enough.

  6. Great Post! Now I will forward this to all of my friends. I'm actually looking forward to the absence of all the men in my life.This gives me the opportunity to catchup on some Lifetime tele and that good 'ole grad school work…


  7. It's funny, b/c I feel the same way, and i only have 2 girlfriends who watches football as much as Ido, and only one who watches sports period. I'm about to start placing bets for the luge in the Olympics…

    And I cannot tolerate my homegirls who just come to the Superbowl party to try to talk to men… Or the girls who come with their SO's to the party, then get mad at me b/c I know what's going on in the game and your SO ignores you so he can talk to me…. #getlikemebitches.

    Who Dat Say Dey Gon Beat Dem Saints!!!!

  8. Truth be told I can't even watch the game with regular football fans. I learned that in college. I gotta watch in with my boys from high school so are really into the game.

    If you don't watch every weekend leading up to this momment, don't talk to me come sunday. Casual fans are a no go. If you didn't watch the senior bowl this past weekend and scouted for your favorite team..you are not a real fan.

  9. Thanx! I couldn't figure out why every man, normally there for me, seemed to have the IQ of a piece a wood and this started several days ago so, they all must've gotten an early start. But seriously, 'til February 14th?? Why?

    Is that just an excuse to avoid Valentine's?

    *why I oughta….*

  10. Damn. Seems I'm the only woman over here NOT excited about the big game. Don't get it twisted though…. this doesn't mean that I hate Super Bowl Sunday because this game means daddy will be handing moms over the credit cards and we'll go shop 'til we reluctantly have to leave the stores because they're closing. So, YAY Super Bowl XLIV!!! 😉

  11. Great post! It's a good thing that I'll be just as preoccupied with the game. Super Bowl weekend is the best, but I sure hate to see the season end.

  12. Great post… I love that All Star weekend is on Valentine's day weekend… maybe b/c I'm single. Lol. But this way, I can get into my sports and bloack the lovey dovey mushiness everywhere else. Applause to the NBA…

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