Got head?


This week my friend sent me this link and asked me what I thought about it. I thought to myself,  “women still need help on giving head? That doesn’t make sense.” She told me that even in 2010 there are women who are; not giving, timid, or insecure. Later in the day I would find out that a friend of a friend of mine recently threw up on her boyfriend. Death to all cumongers.  Either way, I thought about the topic and in honor of Black History Month, I did a post about head.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the G.E.D. Class of 1999…… Head is quintessentially the most important thing in your relationship. Head saves lives. Think of all the drive-bys that would be solved if everytime a man said, “I’m gon’ kill this motherf*cker,” his woman gave him head. Right after he’d be like, “Let that b* breathe. I was gon kill him, but I’m feeling re-conciliatory right now.” Head is like the Pro Bowl. The individual competition of gymnastics. The slam dunk contest of basketball. It’s her time in the light to show what she can do.

Too Little Head

Oh man, every guy I know hates that holiday special head. If a man can count on his hand the amount of times he’s gotten head from you in the last 3 months, he’s on his way out or you’ve unscrewed his penis and placed it in your purse. Some girls don’t like to do it, but they do it because he likes it… get those thoughts out of your head mama. You need to enjoy doing it, have some fun, subscribe to a magazine, watch some porn, whatever you have to do to come out of that.

See Also:  5 Things Men Do To Ruin Their Sex Lives

And you know what sucks when you get that, complainer with head. “I feel like i’m going to gag.” “My jaw is tired.” “My neck is tired.” “I’m not in the mood.” If you’re going to complain about it, just don’t, the door is over there.

About the mood, if you’re a “mood” type of girl, your man is f*ing someone else. Trust me on this one.

When a man wants to have sex he does not want to hear, “You have to get me in the mood.”

No, no no, listen to me, you wanna know why men stop having sex with their women, because of this “mood” sh*t. That’s mad work to do all the time! And instead of having to kiss and hug you for the next 25 minutes to get you in the mood, he can think of five fingers who wouldn’t mind doing it right away. What am I trying to say here? I don’t know some times a man wants to have sex, like when he wants to have sex. Like now, not now, but like now now.

The Right Amount of Head

I think the right amount of head is at least once a week. At least once a week, you need to give him head, and not no two or three minute head, HEAD. You know what time it is, act like its your job. Occasionally surprise the man with a rolling “O” in the car or club, and he’ll appreciate it.

See Also:  To Swallow or Not to Swallow

Too Much Head

Let the church say Amen. A man will forego food, shelter and clothing for too much head. Ladies if you want a man to stay in the house, give him head. Square business, try it out, the next time your man wants to go out and spelunk on the town, on his way out the door, drop and give him head at the door. He will pick up his phone and text his boys, “Dog, I think I’m gonna fall back.”

Last, but not least remember, “Spitters are Quitters.”

Dr. J

PS – Word to the wise, silly rabbits. Don’t give your man head and ask him was it the best he’s gotten. That’s just stupid… You can’t rate head, and honestly the best head a man has ever gotten takes him to a place that you don’t want to be at. And if it was you, he wouldn’t tell you, what’s he going to say? “That was the best head i’ve ever had.” Compared to what, nitwit?! Some other chick sucking on your ding-a-ling. Yeaaaaaa buddy.


  1. Why hasn't ANYONE commented on this??

    My favorite part: "Last, but not least remember, “Spitters are Quitters.”"


    ..well not really. Just wanna say, ladies, before they lick, eat, go down, (however you wanna see that) you better expect to thank him and suck his penis, especially if he likes that. #sukishrug

    More comments to come…hehe

  2. Simply put, if you were puttin it down with your woman the way you are supposed to, she should be begging to give you head…

  3. And if you're one of those people AGAINST giving head, you better be against getting it and find a guy who shares your view on fellatio and cunnilingus. Chances are slim to none, zilch, nada because the box lovers population is growing by the day. Guys are giving in for us lol. So they want a little recognition and appreciation.

    Ladies, you can do it! I'll be your M-Oral Support. ^_^

  4. "About the mood, if you’re a “mood” type of girl, your man is f*ing someone else. Trust me on this one."


    I love this post. Totally 100% agree with all of it. My philosophy on head is if I don't "feel like" doing it, you have my permission to go get a fast one somewhere else. Because men are supposed to get it on a regular.

  5. I too am surprised that this is still an issue. If you expect your man to perform oral how can a woman not want to reciprocate?

  6. Sooo I'm all for giving head and actually enjoy it so for my snugglebunny hubby doesn't have an issue their. I recently watched the "superhead" and Mr Marcus funtime video and I am wondering is her performance indicative of a good / great or even super bj? I mean should her performance serve as a how to visual aide?

    1. Listen to me on this one. Karinne Steffens deserved an Oscar for that. If a woman wants to give good head, she's watching that video and taking notes. It's a great visual aid.

  7. I remember about 2 years ago, one of my friends really disliked giving her man head. She would tell all of the girls about how she would spit and puke afterwards. Then one day she asked one of our friends the question "How do you give head". My friend used a popsicle as an example. Then my friend met a man that she was very much into and isht changed.. I find this the case all the time. Sometimes it takes that one person to make a female dream about it, and then she will turn her dreams into reality through experimentation…

    Its 2010, your man shouldn't be going ANYWHERE to be satisfied…thats a straightup disappointment…Practice makes perfect…

    …Happy Thursday..

    1. THIS: "Its 2010, your man shouldn’t be going ANYWHERE to be satisfied…thats a straightup disappointment…Practice makes perfect…"

      This "situation" should have been resolved in like 2007.

      Come on people.

      …It's almost a prerequisite for sex. #sukishrug

      1. Yea I have to agree. If you grown it should be natural. Go figure I know a girl who alledgedly her man doesn't require that from her. Is it just me or is that weird. Hell as much as my brother believed in safe sex he put a condom on and then let her get to work.

  8. in honor of black history month though? *dead*

    i agree with everything in this post except this:

    " You can’t rate head, and honestly the best head a man has ever gotten takes him to a place that you don’t want to be at. "

    – i honestly think you can rate head. i'm not saying in from best to worst but i do have a tier system in my head. a 3 tier system compared to say universities. i'm trying to be effing around with harvard and not prince george's community college. *shrug*

    1. i would like to say that UDC head is way better than Harvard head. Harvard head acts like it doesn't have to give head because it's got an ivy league education. UDC gives head because that's the real CAREER MOVE.

      1. but UDC head isn't equipped with the proper knowledge. yes, UDC head has lived through experience and trial and error but Harvard head is has the proper know how and the confidence to compete with anyone. lol

      2. UDC head is untrained and may or may not be good. They probably are more willing, but lacking in actual skill.

        Harvard head is of the soundest theory. It knows the intricies and can name each part of your part by name. Harvard head knows what a frenum is and what to do with it!

        Give me Harvard head. With Harvard head, as long as she likes her job she will perform. UDC may want it more, but just doesn't know how to move up the ladder.

    1. let me say this… no one said head was an issue, that's why i offered three situations. this post is about head, not about people not getting head or wanting head or people who don't give head… don't see the negative, see the postiive. it's thirsty thursday and we need a higher level of light heartedness. afterall most of us is buried under snow.

      1. Ok… I misunderstood the post… My bad. When I first started talking to my s/o we actually had a conversation about this and how we both feel its required for both people in the relationship. I feel that both people in the relationship should be on the same page about this issue. Either both people give and receive, or neither of the two give and receive. Otherwise its going to cause conflict.

        And lol at people complaining while giving head/only giving head on special occassion that's ridiculous.

  9. Great piece, Dr.J. And I agree wholeheartedly.

    Though, I think you can rate head. I know I rate the oral skills of men, I can't believe you don't rate our oral skills. For me, there's good, better, and best face. I would think it's similar for men.

  10. In a loving committed relationship, reciprocal oral sex should be a natural occurrence regularly. How in the world don't you enjoy having the penis & testicles of the man that you love in your mouth knowing the amount of pleasure it gives him? That is a serious turn-on. Plus you receive a delicious reward at the end for your efforts! And the man should be just as enthusiastic! The only thing that makes me queasy about sucking dick is if said dick is attached to a man that I'm not in a committed relationship with. Casual sex with a dick that is guaranteed to be playing musical chairs with any number of "slots" is not my thing. That's where the other women should be cued in.

    1. "In a loving committed relationship"

      You change that to one night stands and Ill co-sign this post….

      but seriously you are dead on. WE WANT TO SEE HAPPY FACES WHEN YOU LOOK @ OUR PIECE.

    2. I was right there with you until you said "a delicious reward".

      I'm all about head but please that stuff is like warm salty laundry detergent.


        1. So Max? What do you suggest me do with it?

          Don't be a republican, have a solution if you are going to tear down a concept. Hope that translate to Canadian.

          So N.I.A.? You really do love the kids I see……..

          **drum roll, snare**

        2. You can’t let it hit your tongue… don’t gargle that ish, just take it to the head.

          … I disagree. I know Chris Rock said to go at it like it has the antidote but that doesn't mean you gotta through it back like it's really Tussin. If it tastes bitter like laundry detergent start berries in your man's oatmeal, sneak some of those little fruit cups in his gym bag, and pour him an extra cup of OJ at every meal. Then you can go for the dramatic money shot finish: let it sit on your tongue just long enough for him to see it and then show him how you can make it magically disappear!

          #realtalk #yeahisaidit

        3. I have never been able to master that. It always ends up hitting my tongue and I just try not to barf. I miss the days when spitting was okay.

        4. @ Ms. Cherry

          I agree with you about the fruit. Berries are good. So is pineapple. I was giving tips for those who can't down with the taste no matter what. Now, to be fair, even with the fruit, it still isn't the best tasting thing ever. But it is tolerable. And the look on his face when it looks like it's the best thing you've ever tasted. It's worth it…. And he will return the favor. 😉

      1. You're right….for some women, it tastes like detergent but they can still fake it for the cause. For some women, it's like taking a teaspoon of ipecac syrup—>time to vomit! For the rest, they can take it in a cup & wish for seconds. Everyone is different, but I don't think that there's a surefire way to make it suddenly taste like your favorite meal lol! Give him some pineapple juice or fruits during the day and it will help a bit.

  11. Once a week? Wow. That's it? Ladies, if you can't oblige once a week, you suck (and not in the right way). I've been unknowingly spoiling MFs. Damn.

    Oh and if your excuse is the whole gagging thing, that's an acquired skill, not something you automatically have (tho I'm sure a few are naturally gifted). Its as easy as building up your tolerance while brushing your teeth. Brush the back of your tongue as far as you can each time. Its all about muscle control.

    1. some one get this woman a Nobel Peace Prize…

      I always told my GF. Don't put it down the throat like you are breathing put it down like you are swallowing food. If you think about it, you can do it.

  12. a friend of a friend of mine threw up on her boyfriend…

    I've had lots of women ask me for head advice and one thing I always tell women is to KNOW YOUR LIMITS! Give it your best shot but temper your enthusiam with some logic.

    Deep throating is a skill and sadly not everybody is gonna be able to do it. Everyone's gag reflex is different. Mastering control over it can also take some time. If you're one of those girls who can't throw back a shot w/o gagging then maybe this should not be your technique of choice.

    My last tip I'd like to share is assess the "situation" before you go at it. Stop. Look at this majestic piece of God's handywork. Every penis is special so take a moment to admire it. Because each one is different you have to make adjustments for the particular peen in front of you. If you're used to average and you find yourself blessed w/ a magnum you might not be able to do all the tricks you've come to rely on. On the flipside if your used to King Size snickers and you find yourself w/ a snack size look at this as an opportunity to play he might need the motivation to make up for his "handicapped" performance.

    Each one teach one… BlackHistory365! Lol!

  13. Quick piece of advice for women:

    If you really like a guy, and are interested in a long term relationship with him, don't give him the best dome you're capable of giving him the first time you go in. If you do, we will judge you. If we know you've never been in a long term relationship, but you're great at giving dome – the discerning man is going to assume you've been giving a lot of dome. Be good, but not too good.

    Fellas, the best women to look for are ones who are about 6 months out of a long term relationship (by long term I mean, measured in years not months). At 6 months out, she gotten rid of all the baggage, and should be – over it by then, so you don't have to worry about that drama. The best part is, she's probably been having consistent sex and giving consistent dome for a number of years. She's well practiced, and she's not a hoe, that's a win-win.

    Fellas – alot of yall seem a little young in the game. Let the old man in the room drop a quick jewell. When it comes the women, there are two types of qualites. There are innate skills and there are teachable skills. When choosing slide off – neither of which really matter. When choosing a mate – understanding the two is extremely important. An innate skill is something she's born with. Knowing how to cook – and by cook I mean – make food that's better than sex – cook; that's an innate skill. Some women can take classes, follow recipes perfectly, watch cooking shows… whatever… and still can't cook. Other women just know how to throw down.

    Knowing how to be submissive without being helpless or without compromising her independence; that's an innate skill. Some women have it, others don't.

    Being caring – some women are, some arent. Innate Skill.

    Giving dome – that's a teachable skill. When choosing a make, focus on the innate skills, make sure she has the ones that are important to you. As the relationship progresses, if she loves you, she'll get better at the teachable skills. You can teach a women to give sufficient dome, but you can't teach a woman how to be a good mother. She either is, or she isn't.

    that all… carry on

    1. 1000000% cosign

      The only area I disagree is the baggage part. Fam if I told you some of my stories, you may either call me a liar or an outliner, but know that baggage only goes away when you disgard it in fact and appearance.

      1. Streetztalk=Captain SaveAHoe. Lol – J/k Homey.

        But really though, as soon as a chick says she was in relationship for 4 or 5 years or something like that, but has now been single for 6 or 7 months, your next line of questioning has to be geared toward surmising whether or not she's over her relationship. Find out if their still friends, if she's dated anyone since, etc. If she seems like she's still getting over it, you can put her on the team, but, she can't be a starter, and definitely can't be the star player.

        1. LOLOL!!!

          Nah son. What you just said is what I meant. Never fall for the Hes a friend now #swindle, the we only go to church together #swindle or any of the sort!

          effin Mentor man..lmao

    2. *****Fellas, the best women to look for are ones who are about 6 months out of a long term relationship (by long term I mean, measured in years not months).****

      I'm sorry, but i might have to play the bitter bitch role real quick….you saying that because I haven't been in a RELATIONSHIP, i cant give head? Because of whatever reason you havent sat down to figure out, but because nobody gave "wifey" time to me in the last 1 year or whatever that is a sole judgement for if I can be sexually engaging to you?

      Can we talk fact for a second? Can we discuss the men I KNOW who WIFE a female who doesn't go down or is to prude in the bedroom, because she falls in to PHYSICAL trophy status and he cheats and is never happy at home, but she gets to claim relationship status if they breakup but the chick who was toppin off the knob on a consist basis status is SINGLE….Can we talk for a second that the string along game occurs and so even though a chick is checking for a man and dude is checking…she is SINGLE and this can go on for as long as both parties allow…..or perhaps that dude who is checking for her and he has NOTHIN' to offer her so the fact that she says NO to that potentional relationship which leaves her SINGLE is good reason she can't lick the tip?

      You judge on good fallico based upon her ratio of Month:HEAD opportunities? whateva

      So you stating that looking for women who have been committed to make that judgement call is really just like trying to make a PB&J sandwich with Mayo….nice to know you in the game but your taste gonna mess up your flava

      Really….I expected more game advice from someone claiming coach…I know that I am on the bench for a once in a while, but many benchwarmers become starters….all they need is playing time….they even make it into the hall of fame–but someone got to look that way and give them the go ahead…u keep running to the starting five they going to exhaust out and think they so good they will retire and not play NO MO'…

      Just saying….put it in perspective

      And YES…I'm single…been single….and so when you think this is just another ol bitter bitch speaking, it could be…however, I am smart azz bitter bitch…big difference

      And yes i give head and yes they come back and I SHUT IT DOWN if its not going to lead towards the relationship I crave…..I'm not a boomerang chick…they toss it away and then they want it back in the same position….therefore I AM SINGLE….

  14. I think if we explained why we liked dome so much woman would understand.

    My top 5 fav things about dome:

    5)the up and down motion… no one bust from licking. Get down there …and come back up… and repeat.

    4)getting more dome after you bust and feeling like you can't breathe aka "Don't touch me its sensitive, stop playing….. ok keep going"

    3)deepth.oa.rt…. aint nothing wrong with that

    2)Over stimulation of the nerves cause by hard sucking … see superhead

    1)Looking a my big dominating piece in a beautiful face… WITH A SMILE

    damn… now I'm Rock and I can't get up from my desk.

  15. I would love to say that I hate that this is true but then again- I won't seriously date a man who doesn't enjoy giving oral.

    I will say though, if I like you enough that we're in a relationship (that is intimate) I'm going to want to make you happy by giving you head but don't act like it's a requirement.

    1. o we are going to have a problem.

      You don't want Shine where the Sun Don't?

      I honestly need it atleast 75% of the time we are intimate.

      And the other 25% I'm still busting in your mouf.

  16. So yea after I read this I laughed at the "spitter/quitter" statement. But at the same time I can actually dispute a feature of head that isn't for relationships but is important to the boyfriend/sidechick relationship. Some of you may be familiar with my methods through seeing others apply them on film or even trying them yourself.

    I like to personally think of myself as a master of the fine arts, a Michelangelo if you will. A man that engineers experiences that allow me to create murals. My canvas being all areas above the collar bone. I was against this at one point in time until I met a young woman who dropped down and pleaded, open mouth-tounge out like MJ, for a masterpiece. I obliged and painted away like it was the Sistine Chapel.

    I propose a response to this with the joys of moisturizing faces, lives and objects with what else? your own natural lotions happiness lol. I've done faces, breasts, both at the same time, hair, stomach's, ass, open hands (like oliver twist asking for soup), i even pulled out a piece of cheesecake one time and used that (she wanted to eat it after, I have the picture still archived in my portfolio). This my friends is not just the juice of man but the food of the Gods. I challenge each and all of you to go out and experience creation and creativity. I'll leave you with a quote to sum up my story.

    "My journey has brought me to an understanding of the divine forces with which we have all been bestowed. It was in this search that I came upon a revelation which has called me to guide millions of people towards their righteous destiny."

    1. i was with you all the way until the cheesecake part. i would seriously side eye a chick if she asked to do that. i'm all for the zealous but i have to draw a line somewhere. lol

      1. She didn't want me to paint her face so she asked if i could do it on her favorite food since she liked to drink it anyway……i said okay whatever floats your boat

    2. I need to meet the woman who asked you to buss on a piece of cheesecake. Most chicks aren't even thinking about peen if there's cheesecake in the room!

    1. In a word YES. Unless you're like 26 and you tell us that, you were with one guy from the time you were 16 till you were like 20. Then you dated another guy for 3 years in college, and then another guy for 3 years after that. That's the only time it's acceptable to be amazing at dome. When I say amazing, I mean superhead status. If you hit us with the "I Usually Don't Do this", but it ends up being the best we've ever had, and you supposedly been 'single' for since freshman year of college – we're gonna draw certain conclusions.

      That's what I call the #YouUsedToBeAHoe #swindle

  17. i didn't get a chance to read all the posts, but please tell me what does 'spitters are quitters' mean??? i thought spitting (or, lots of wetness/moisture) was good while giving head…??? other question… my ex said that dudes like it if a woman has a slight gag reflex at times… is this not true either???

      1. hee… hee…! thanks reecie!!! got it now… yeah… i can't get with the 'swallowing' thing… just can't do it, for some reason… guess i'm a dang quitter! ; ) what about the gag reflex question… ; ) this mami is tryin' to get better @ this… & lookin' for tips… ; )

        1. by the way, reecie, you are very pretty & have a great smile…! i'm not into women, just recognize attractiveness when i see it! ; ) & not ashamed to call it out…

        2. The slight gag causes the back of your throat to contract. Men like the slight gag because the contraction of the tonsil area against the head feels good, and at the same time they also get to enjoy being fully (or mostly depending on what they're packing) enclosed in the warm moistness of your mouth Don't forget to cup and fondle the balls.

          Quick Tip… rather than repeatedly gagging yourself you can try making a "K" sound while you're doing what you're doing down there. It will cause the back of your mouth to contract in a somewhat similar fashion (basically your tongue will rise up and your palate will lower simultaneously).

        3. Ms. Cherry you definitely assisted in making this post both educational and recreational. I still have my mouth open at some of your comments, the same way one would if he were getting fellated. Thank you.


        4. fake it fake it fake it

          "Ugg…. omg your so thick Damn daddy"

          U may really be gagging (cause u dont swallow) but fake the funk lol

          the potential of you in their thoughts will linger

          im sneakin this in after hours So i may get the side eye But eff you bishes lol

          I know im the only one checking this late ha ha ha

      1. ohh and i concur with sexymami @reecie and I am into women too lol yeahisaidit neither here nor there

        But appreciate your representation of us with such a pretty face

    1. you gotta give to receive. not receive to give, lol. so wait if he gives bad head you won't give him good head? most men don't know how to handle themselves down there.

      1. its late I was about to give tmi

        SBM is gonna get me in trouble if I dont learn some toung disapline But thats what we talking bout right Damn lol Im going to bed

        1. WoW at this post very informative and yes in 2010 there are women and men who do not participate in oral sex…yes, shame on them. To that person who thinks they are reading the post "late", well I am currently in Asia, so my daytime is your nighttime. :0) so its never too late.

          This post makes me all warm and tingly inside. Makes me feel good about wanting to make my man feel good. I'll be honest, at first I wouldn't do it, but now I'm schooling my girlfriends. And yes, if you don't he will go elsewhere…but I'm sorry guys, do you really want your woman to swallow? not sure if that was some men or a "norm" across the board. Not sure if I'm with it….is it a big deal? Why I gotta be labeled a quitter? Geez… I thought it wasn't about winning but how you played the game.

      2. WELL… if woman have to handle themselves down there, then men sure as HE$% need to handle themselves down there… betta get a dictionary/textbook/video/whatever & LEARN!!! how are you gonna do this post about men's desire for oral & not let speak [on comments] about how men need to UP their GAME in this direction as well???!!!

        as for swallowing… i am currently dealing with a man who is not interested in me swallowing, luckily… but, i'm with @brooklyn girl, i can't get with the swallowing… at least, not yet… my ex wanted me to do that & i am trying to figure out HOW BIG of a DEAL is that??? do MOST men (because we know it's not ALL) want their woman to swallow, or is it just a minority or some??? seriously, i am lucky the current man i'm with is not into it since i'm not into it…

  18. thank you ms. cherry (baby) ; ) i don't gag on purpose… it's because i'm taking him 'all in' so to speak… it's a natural reflex/reaction, but you gave me some real good ish/advice… i did NOT KNOW!!! i enjoy giving oral, fa sho… i actually love it when the man's penis is beautiful and big, i WANT to taste him… WANT to give him so much pleasure… it's so enjoyable for me to take him in…

      1. hilarious, dr. j…!!! & what's 'hoshitoshi'? sounds japanese & since i'm asian, i should know this… i did not know/realize how important getting fellatio is to a man… before my ex, no man really made it seem all that important/significant/whatever… but, MY EX… that's a WHOLE OTHER STORY!!! because i was naive about it, i did not realize this was a BIG DEAL… i wasn't very into it then for whatever reason (probably, huge part may have been lack of experience) & that was one of our many 'situations'… though, i think now my passion for it makes up for the lack of experience… NOW, i like it… don't know how that flipped for me… i think it was a problem w/ my ex because he seemed to prefer it OVER penetration and that was a problem for me, i think…. who knows… this ain't a relationship forum! hee… hee…! ; )

        anyway, bottom line… i realize how important this is NOW & i LOVE doing it NOW… so, it's ALL GOOD! ; ) just trying to get my skillz up, so to speak… ; ) good forum, posts, comments, etc…

  19. "hoshitoshi" – an old episode of Martin

    Martin and his boys, Tommy and Cole, go to a electronics store to purchase a television. When they walk in Martin says his budget is $400 nothing more nothing less. However, once inside they spot the Hoshitoshi 2000, the biggest big screen TV. allowed by law. They end up buying the Hoshitoshi 2000.

    In short, it means worthy of worship.

    1. wait a minute @miss lotus Im just geting in from class too lol You better not be a classmate lol

      I feel the same way LOL

      I thought this was some work day shish lol

      this fuckery goes on and on

      1. lol @ Laurin… "fuckery"<<~~ thats my word…and you better not be a classmate…I have 2 Lauren's and 1 Laurin(if thats your real name) in my class…

  20. not me ha ha and not in ya class I guess cause I dont have a lauren

    and we can share fuckery hopefully

    I stole it from Amy Whinehouse's album

    "what type of fuckery is this"

    is this post not the bomb lol

  21. Do you have any similar posts on this subject? It's just I'm doing some research on it. If you do could you point me to it? I searched but can't find any. I would be very grateful! Thank you.

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