What’s good everyone,

So far during my Spider-Man series, we’ve touched on Great power and Great responsibility, and the Wingman salute in the Sinister Six. Today, I wanted to touch on that certain sixth sense that we all possess that warns us and makes us aware of situations. I present to you, the Spider Sense:

Spider-Man’s “spider-sense” manifests in a tingling feeling at the base of his skull, alerting him to personal danger in proportion to the severity of that danger. It appears to be a simultaneous, seemingly clairvoyant response to a wide variety of phenomena.

So let’s jump right into the different ways we use our Spider Sense1 in everyday life:

You ever get the feeling that a guy/girl is in to you? Well your spider sense can be calibrated to sense a potential love interest a mile away! You will have key traits that help distinguish if someone is crushin on you:

  • non verbal communication – Body language is a sure fire way to set off our sixth sense. Constant eye contact when speaking, or those “innocent” glares across the room in 45 second intervals, a playful touch, mimicking your body movements (I cross my arms then she crossed them too in the same way) can all indicate a certain affection.
  • key words – “We should hang out sometime”, “I wonder how your girlfriend feels about that”, “Come over and beat this thang up”, and other phrases can be cryptic messages  should have your head buzzin #Nogoogle
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I believe that both sexes are equally easy to read when equipped with a potent Spider Sense. You just have to be in tune with the situation and heighten your perceptive skills.

Women – If a significant other/boo/cut buddy is being grimy

This is more commonly referred to as “Women’s Intuition”. This sense, attuned to these situations, will prompt them to check voicemail/email/pockets and become Sherlock Holmes. Fellas this is “that funny feeling” that women mention when you come home and find all your clothes on the floor after your lady has searched your bedroom like ATF when they stormed the Carter. I wouldn’t be surprised if Stan Lee (creator of Spider Man) had women in mind when he thought of the Spider Sense! This trait is genetically encoded into female X chromosome, and develops at an early age, similar to a mutant when first discovering their powers2 Whether it’s a “white lie”, a suspicious text/phone call, or even some Maury esque scandal, women will react and respond to this feeling until they solve the case. In many cases, the obvious sign for women that there’s trouble afoot is when a man’s behavourial pattern shifts. If he breaks routine, tends to be more secretive, and just doesn’t react the “way he normally would”, that will be all the ammunition a woman needs to launch a Molotov Cocktail series of questions your way.

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In the same breath ladies, you abuse this Spider Sense at times. Where there’s smoke, there’s not always fire. Feelings, no matter how strong, do not give you the right to go through a man’s belongings, phone, voice/e-mail, twitter/facebook, etc. without his permission. You know you are wrong, just don’t front like WE don’t know. I remember this super duper snooper mentality being a relationship deal breaker for me too.

Men – If a young lady is trying to attempt a #Swindle

Our Spider Sense is also calibrated to detect shenanigans with women. Let’s say a woman is real chill about a dating with no title, or dating for years without an engagement, or even studying with you and showing no signs of attraction? A good amount of the time, they’re Pharellin (word to Mr. Freeze). Men can tell when a woman likes us more than she wants to reveal, you ladies are too in touch with your emotions to hide it. We also can tell when you got other things (re; Boyfriend/Husband/Girlfriend) going on that you may not want us to find out. I will admit that your gender are the masters of illusion, but when men listen to you, they can piece together that puzzle, calculate simple math(2+2=?), and decipher your riddle accurately.

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We also can tell when a women is crazy. Its real easy. Our Spider Sense tells us “all women are crazy” and we fleaux with that. There’s different levels of crazy that are tolerable and manageable, but it depends on the man to discover his limits.

Are there other manifestations of this ability that I forgot? Do you agree with the assessment? Let’s discuss

Striving for a woman who makes my Spider Sense tingle,

1 – I HATE when ppl say “Spidey Sense” that’s sooo corny! yes #ImMad!

2This scientific fact has not been substantiated, but it’s gotta be true!