Antwan: Hey baby. Let me talk to you. I just found out some news…
Beth: Yeah boo. What’s up?
Antwan: I just got a call from my mom. **sigh**
Beth: Everything okay?
Antwan: Yeah. Sorta. No one is sick or passed away.
Beth: Okay great. So what is it?
Antwan: This girl I used to mess with 5 years ago showed up at my momma crib with a kid. She said it’s mine and wants me to get some blood work done to prove it.
Antwan: Yeah. I gotta go tomorrow for the paternity test.
**2 days later**
Antwan: Yeah, it’s mine. I love you baby.
Beth: I love you too, but my momma isn’t gonna stand for you having a baby momma. I think we need to delay the wedding. She’s gonna give me that talk about how I can do better like she always does
**Antwan is simultaneously reinvigorated, frustrated, and saddened**
Antwan: Your mother…always got something to say. Eff her opinion! No offense.
There are a couple of issues at play in this scenario. The man caught a really bad break. It’s a good thing he didn’t go on Maury because there would have been no back-flips for him. The other thing is his girl basically wants to delay marriage because she’s worried about what her mother is going to say and think about her being married to a man with a stray seed. Though this type of situation decreases with age, it most certainly does still occur.
If I were in this situation, the only thing I’d be certain of is that I’d fulfill my obligations as a father. I don’t want some kid growing up to hate me because his mom filled his head with foolishness about me. Nobody in my family is a deadbeat and I’m not going to be the first one. I also couldn’t see myself proposing **shivers** to a chick who didn’t know how to stand up to her family.
Quite honestly, I don’t care if shorty’s mom doesn’t love or like me as long as she does. We’d just have to have one of those Monster-in-Law type relationships until “mommy dearest” slips on a banana peel and can’t come over to the crib anymore. Sh*t, I’ve been disliked by a girl’s parents before. It wasn’t because I put her into a human pretzel of anything in particular I did other than be born of non-Caribbean parents. That relationship fizzled because I couldn’t even go to her crib when I was in her town. I, a working professional and full-time grown ass man, had to stay at a hotel and sneak around on some Romeo and Juliet type mess. I know a few other men that have endured similar tomfoolery with their boo’s parents and none of those guys are with those chicks anymore either.
On the other hand, I have isolated accounts of women not being liked by their boo’s mother. And even in those situations where the mom doesn’t like the girl, the men have stayed with their respective shorties and basically put up a fight with their parents to ensure their girl felt respected at the least. I wonder nowadays at what age do women people stop listening to their parents because this phenomenon seems to affect one gender more than the other. I know most of the people visiting this site aren’t on a leash and probably don’t have a parent finding something wrong with every significant other and telling them they can do better, but I really am curious.
I touched on a couple things here, so there are a few questions. Ladies, what would you do if you were engaged and your man found out he had a stray seed? What would you tell your family? Fellas, how would you handle this? Everybody, at what point does the opinion of your parents or those who brought you up not matter anymore? And lastly, why can’t a regular Black guy date a woman with Caribbean parents in peace?lol. No shots. Just reflecting.
Momma said there’d be blogs like this,