Janelle: “So, I have a question I have to ask you?”
DuWayne: **prepares for the worst from his 6 month Friend With Benefits** “What’s up?”
J-lo: “Do you want to end this?”
D-Block: “I’m not sure what you mean? End our relationship?”
J-lo: “This isn’t a ‘relationship’ and I don’t think you want a girlfriend. Should we just end this?”
D-block: **thinks to himself “Do I want to end constant s*x with no type of real commitment? Does she think I’m stupid?”**
J-lo: “Well … ?”
D-block: “I enjoy your warm and wet dug-out company and I want to see where this goes because you still won’t do an*l”
J-Lo: “Ok, just wanted to make sure.”
Simon: “Hey, can I ask you something?”
Simping Simon: “So, we’ve been chilling for about 6 months now, right?”
F-drizzy: “Yeah, and it’s been great.”
Simping Simon: “And we’ve gone on 3 trips, gone to countless concerts, and eat nothing but the best food back in DC, right?”
F-drizzy: “Yeah, we have a lot of fun together.”
Simping Simon: “And we decided to wait until it’s right to have s*x, right?”
F-drizzy: “Don’t wanna rush it and ruin something special.”
Simping Simon: “Should we just end this? Seems like we aren’t going to move to the next level and I want a girlfriend”
F-drizzy: **thinks “Do I want to end eating the best and vacations that I don’t have to spend money for … HA!”**
Simping Simon: “Well … ?”
F-drizzy: “The more time we spend together the closer I feel to you and your money. I want to see where this goes cause I’m trying to see paris.”
Simping Simon: “Ok. More Cristal?”
I have been presented with this situation several times in the past. I have had friends speak of this same scenario. I have also had many females complain about “surprising” answers to this question. And as my friend detailed the 28th time he was asked this question … it hit me.
This is a dumb question!
First, I am not talking about relationships. If you have a real relationship, with real titles, and real emotions … this isn’t for you. When your actually invested in the other person, they might actually want to get out of the relationship. He might be tired of your inability to put together an intelligent thought and your unwillingness to swallow. She might actually be tired of your addiction to the dope game or your inability to move outta mom’s house. Yeah … this post isn’t for you.
But for people in that gray area …. the undefined purgatory that exists between strangers and boyfriend/girlfriend … I’m talking to you.
There are a few things that both DuWayne and Felicia that you need to realize:
– They have made no commitment of monogamy, relationship or anything
– They are receiving what the need/want (s*x or money)
– They have no immediate plans to move to the “next step” (6 months to decide … right)
So, given the fact that they have what they want, they don’t have to commit to the person, and they don’t really have to do/give the other person anything … why would they want to end it. That’s like a job that pays me twice what I am worth, only requires me to work once a day, and allows me to pursue other jobs in your free time, asking me “do you want to quit?”.
If someone is given everything they want, they have no incentive to stop or end. If it is taken from them, they can’t do anything about it … but why would they give it up.
So next time you think about asking this question to someone that doesn’t have a title … save your breathe.
Have you ever been asked “do you want to end this?” Did you know your answer before even thinking about it? Have you asked this question of anyone and actually got a “yes?” Am I on it today or full of the usual bullsh*t what?!
– SBM aka Don’t ask me dumb questions aka Your favorite blogger’s favorite blogger