*** SBM Special Note ***
At Single Black Male we strive to present a balanced argument. Along with the usual “what’s wrong with women posts”, we have also covered man-whores, ways for men to show their love, and the state of Black Love in order to keep things balanced. But sometimes … we gotta say something females won’t like … sometimes we gotta represent us … the men.
This entire week is dedicated to just that! If your easily offended … get back at us next week.
If your a woman … you might be mad right now. Just reading the title might have upset you. You might have only come here to sound off in the comments … and you might not even read this. Instead of all that anger … breathe … calm down a little … and hear me out.
I have a long standing hatred for chivalry in modern times. I touched on it back in the day here and here. But please, don’t think I am some blatant a**hole who walks around slamming doors in women faces and throwing ladies into mud puddles or something. I believe in treating people well because they are another human being. The concept that women are inherently weaker then men and constantly need our help … I just can’t co-sign that one.
Somehow, chivalry has become a banner for many women who want to simply pick the best characteristics of all the gender roles, shed off all the bad … and somehow claim that is is what my Dad wanted. Basically … too many women are trying to have their cake and eat it too. My problem with chivalry boil down to this:
Women, You cannot be independent, “I can do sh* by myself”, and “I don’t need a man” … and still expect for us to cater and pamper you!
It just doesn’t work …
In my opinion, chivalry was a system to “help” and “aid” the weak (women) by the strong (men). And while this still applies to lifting boxes (I will carry the groceries of any woman within eye sight) … floor after floor of the glass ceiling are shattered on the daily. Women are no longer the helpless, “barefoot and pregnant”, can’t work outside the home folks they were for hundreds of years.
My Granddad might have offered his seat to a woman when she walked in the room … but my Grandma was subject to restrictions unknown to any woman today.
Chivalry’s death can be attributed to no one else but women. Almost every guy has at least one story of an angry female who doesn’t need her chair pulled out, her door opened for her, or her bill paid for. Even many who still claim to need chivalry in their life still want to walk acting “like a boy”. Literally … I have had a woman say she wears her p*nis at work. Well miss … if you wanna carry a d*ck around in your purse … don’t ask me for any thing. You just shot chivalry!
Now, when I am told I have to do something(give my seat up on the train, open up a car door, etc.) because as a man I must embody chivalry … I just stop, slowly turn around to the offending female, and then simple state “you can stand your a$$ up just like I would if I got on the train after me f* chivalry”.
As I said … Chivalry itself isn’t the problem. Chivalry is part of a traditional gender role system that, while with its problems, kept balance in the universe. There were things that I had to do as a man … and there were things women did … and somehow it all worked, well I guess it worked since people actually got married and didn’t divorce as much.
But fast forward … and things get funny. There is an ever growing population that wants their well deserved newfound freedom and equality, but still wants the niceties that grandma had. Don’t be greedy.
So to my women, I implore you … pick one. You can have the freedom, the increased salary, and the open possibility for a female president … or you can have your car door opened, your plane ticket purchased, and stay in the house cooking and cleaning all day all the niceties your Grandmother enjoyed … not both. I’ll still get your door, and I got the bill on the first date … but no mas.
Women …. #youmad? Men … feel me? Is it just me, or am I by myself? What do you think about Chivalry in 2010?
– SBM aka “Open your own f*ing car door” aka One of the biggest feminists you’ll ever meet