Home About Me Things I Won’t Do for the Boo

Things I Won’t Do for the Boo

168
Never!

I consider myself to be a manly man. I burp, watch and play sports, drink beer, walk around the house in basketball shorts even when playing basketball isn’t on the agenda, and I love me some t*tties. And as a man, I know there are a lot of things expected of me by booski type peoples. Yeah, I’ll carry the groceries, sit in the store while you shop, put my arms around you while you cook, stroke you down in the kitchen, tell you how delicious you are, hold you close when you’re scared or upset, and a bunch of other stuff. But quite honestly, there are some things I just won’t do. That whole “You should do anything for the one you love!” foolishness has its limits. So for today, I’m going to tell you about a few of the things I just won’t do at this point in my life for the Booski O’Snookums.

Ride on a Motorcycle

Yeah, I know that women think men on motorcycles are s*xy and are more prone to let them accelerate into their garages. I’m just gonna have to be ugly then.  I will never own one or ride one. I value my life. If the boo owns one, I will not be caught hanging on to her for dear life while she pushes 80 mph. That’s not a good look as a man. However, I will buy her accessories and a bike jacket that says “You touch. You die. Call Slim for questions.”



Roller Coasters

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Aight, so I’ll go on a roller coaster once every 5-10 years just to see if that awful drop feeling in my stomach has gone away. But other than that, no way. No way. No how. I will hold shorty’s jacket while she stands in line or I’ll invite a thrill seeking female friend that she gets along with to go on there with her. I’ll even have a cold beverage waiting for her when she gets off—just like after s*x.

Hard Core Horror Films

If a movie has been promoted as the scariest or most gruesome film of the year, I won’t go unless I read the spoiler online and determine that it won’t be that bad. Unfortunately, when I read the spoilers it usually turns out to be just as scary and gruesome as indicated in previews. What will I do? I’ll walk her to the theater, buy her the plane ticket and some popcorn, and hope there ain’t some other man in there eating the snacks I bought her and holding her close. If that does turn out to be the case, trust me it will be a gruesome scene. Just kidding…sorta.

Toss Salad

I don’t care if you just got out the shower. I will lick all around the slot of life and let my chin glisten as you clap my head with your thighs, but there ain’t no way in hell I’m going to put my tongue around your booty-hole and even attempt to act like I enjoy it. Not me. Not ever. Wait, that’s the only way you can get off? Hmm, then I’ll never be able to make you blast off. Go find true love darling. Go find true love.

See Also:  Technology Assisted Dating

Nothing too complicated today. After last week’s shenanigans, I figured I’d lighten things up a bit as well. Are there things you just won’t do for a boo? Are there things you’re boo just won’t do for you that drive you nuts? How do you feel about the items in this list? How do you explain to a significant other why you won’t do certain things? Let me know and let it flow. Pause.

I’m Still a Man Though,

Twitter: @slimjackson Website: www.threewaystotakeit.com

Comment(168)

  1. Yay! It's safe to come out now (last wks posts had me a tad wary) lol. A lot of my male friends don't like scary movies which strikes me as funny because most of my female friends luv 'em (b/c according to society as a whole it would be assumed that the females would be the ones not wanting to see a scary movie). At least you were honest! Kudos! Btw I can't think of anything specific I wouldn't do for the boo. I'm sure later today someone on here will comment on something they wouldn't do & I'll (silently) agree.

  2. I cosign on this entire list and for the exact same reasons, except for the scary movies. Old school horror films are the ones I can't really watch because I get scared and can't sleep. The newer ones are just a waste of money. I went out with someone 3 times and all three times he had me go see some ridiculous "scary" movie, aside from the several other suggestions of things to do (or at least watch), he gave me the sad face til I gave in and agreed. Please, if you'd rather see Final Destination 54 or Paranormal Activity than Book of Eli, I don't even know what to say.

    I can't even fathom tossing anyone's salad, not even when I was married. I know what comes outta there, and no amount of showering is gonna make me forget it. I've had 2 men pull that one out on me and I just can't. I don't even like being the recipient (it just doesn't feel right), especially if we aren't in a serious relationship. The fact that you're quick to do that will get you a side-eye from me.

        1. I'll show your sexy @$$ alot more than notes!

          sorry… I forgot where I was. This isn't adultfreinderfinder…. wrong bookmark, sorry.

  3. Oh gawd! You gon' get SBM wired up mentioning that d*mn "____" ticket. LOL!

    I'm with ya' on the "tossing of the salad".

    Psshh… I wish a niqqa would ask.

    I also won't eat certain foods {i.e. chitterlings, pigs feet, frog legs} for the baby boy. Not happening.

    1. At least the frog legs are considered a delicacy of sorts.lol. Make sure you don't date no man from the deep south. Mess around and go to his momma house and not eat her cooking and you'll end up on the street with a suitcase.

    2. Girl, frog legs taste just like chicken. I know b/c my aunt tricked me into eating some when I was young. I was tearing up some frog legs when I heard my cousin ask for some more frog legs. I tried to be grossed out, but my aunt was like, "Don't even try it!!"

      1. lmao

        I just can't trick myself. Same goes for deer. I don't even eat seafood. I'm a picky eater like that.

    3. I'll try any food once. As for a$$, if that sh*t belonged in mouths, e.Coli wouldn't exist.

      I don't care if your bootyhole tastes like pumpkin pie and ice cream, I'm not willing to take the chance of tasting any dust or debris.

  4. Boy do I love getting my a$$ ate out. It really is a wonderful feeling. And boy do I love making my fiance squirm.

    There isnt much I wouldnt do for my baby, especially s*xually.

    But I wouldnt sky dive, or bungie jump, or any other crazy white people things lol.

    And I dont know what he wouldnt do for me. He has already saved my life before, and I know he does everything s*xually too. I guess he could give me more massages instead of complaining. Yea thats it, them d*mn massages I have to beg for. And he is a professional too. Thats what really irks me. So thats the one….

    OH YEAH! how did I forget. The big one. You can put your tongue and a couple of fingers in my ass….BUT NO ANAL S*X. Thats what I wouldnt do for no man. Tried it plenty of times, and that sh*t hurts lol. And with the size of my fiance's d*ck, I will never even try it with him.

      1. yup…french kiss at that lol.

        I eat his too though, so thats why I dont mind kissing him afterwards. I know I know nasty lol.

        I used to say I would never eat a$$. But once I tried it, I liked it.

      1. I'm adventurous to a point, but I can't do the anal thing. I lost my virginity once and that was bad enough. No thank you.

  5. WELL……

    Se*ually there is almost nothing I won't try once. However, I will not do a threesome of any kind, I will not do golden showers or any thing related, I will not get into beastiality or anything like that…but, I have tossed one salad, HE went crazzzy and loved it! I would do it again under the right circumstances…..I tried anal recently and its not that bad. I have become more sexuall adventurous as I've gotten older…..I've done toys. I will do just about anything in a mutually monogamous relationship within the bounds of the law……..lol. I will get on a motorcyle and love horror flicks……If I love you and we are monogamous I will be open to many suggestions except for the ones I mentioned up top…….

  6. Unfortunately, I don't have the ability to burp on command but if I could I would if that's what turned my man on. Lol

  7. I love all the things you listed! I won't do Anal Sex. I won't hold marijuana for my boo's mother. When we're going over his moms house he's tells me to hold it. Why do I need to hold it? You've been carrying it all this time, you can keep it a little longer.

    My boo won't take me out to the bar/club. He has too much respect for me. The only place that he allows me to drink is at his house in his presence. I don't like it sometimes but it's good to know that there is someone looking out for me.

  8. LMAO!! How did the convo turn so quickly from "ride motorcycles, roller coasters and horror movies," to "anal chex, tossing salads, and such?" It is too early ya'll!!

  9. "buy her the plane ticket and some popcorn"

    Lol! iHate you for this. Please don't get SBM riled up again!

    I wouldn't let anyone use the bathroom on me. Gross.

    I wouldn't do anything that threatened my life (riding rollercoasters and watching scary movies aren't gonna kill you).

    I think I'm pretty much open to anything else…I think.

  10. I will not have a threesome w/ my girl and another man. (This happened to my boy – his girl wanted to have two dudes at once AND SHE WANTED THEM TO TOUCH EACH OTHER!!!)

    Dont touch my out hole.

    I'll try to touch your out hole though; however, i will not try to put my mans in

    Just about everything else is negotiable

    1. Your boy is wilding. That's the most foolish thing I've heard. Please tell me this isn't a bruh you're referring to. I'll be damned if I stand there and watch someone smash my girl down. I wouldn't even be able to function after that. This is something I definitely would not do. Good addition. I wish I had thought of that when I was making the list.lol.

    2. I have a similar story that I told on 3ways…

      The dude who punched the other dude for trying to nut in his gf's mouth.

      But Yeah… the only piece that can go near my tunnel of gush are plastic ones.

      No M-F-M 3ways!

  11. I'm sorry, but I won't ever, under any circumstances (I think) suck a guys toes, EVER! Eugh! I don't hate feet or anything, but I don't want any jagged edges scraping off my cheek cells like I'm in a Microbiology lab!

  12. I'm no prude between the sheets but threesomes are out along with anything anal. You can slap my a$$…

    I don't have a problem with horror films but I will not sit through any film over 2 hours or that has subtitles. If either happens…it's nap time.

    Speaking of crazy things white folks do, camping is a no- no. I don't mind going for a hike but hell will freeze over before I sleep in a tent.

    I support my Baby, God knows I do but the chess matches are the equivalent to taking an ambien. I love how his mind works but while he's playing with his "black knight" I'll be home or in the hotel pool or bar.

    1. Damn.. open up a little. I understand a whole thick mountain snake may hurt… but a finger? Its just a finger. No way that hurts, its all mental.

      And if you are only watching American movies, you are missing out on some of the best art film as to offer. Word to my Anime's (streetz, am I lying?).

      Props to your man for being a Chess player. I wish I got into that sport.

      1. Just the idea of being in that area makes some people uncomfortable is what I think she's going for.

        I'm sorry, but I love me some Titanic and I will watch white people drown those two crazy kids fall in love all damn day.

        And what about strip chess?

      2. I was wondering when someone would make a comment about not watching movies with subtitles. Now, I'm not on that Anime kick (although, I can't hate Afro Samurai), but you are missing so much deciding not to watch a movie simply because of the subtitles.

        Now, did I miss something and they named Chess an actual sport?

  13. this list made me laugh.. i've realized that i will probably try much of anything if i'm in the heat of the moment.. HOWEVER!!

    anal s*x.. been there, done that, bought a postcard, not returning..

    golden showers i will NOT have.. especially considering most dudes i know don't get enough water too!! you are NOT gonna have me smellin like ammonia!!

    although i will do pearl necklaces.. *wink*

    that's a big, fat NEGATIVE on the threesomes.. i need your attention all here, homeboy.. who the hell told you to send out party invites?? it's a rendezvous for two!!

    that's pretty much it..

    i actually want to parasail, and camp, and all that other stuff.. i'm an outdoorsy chick… i do draw the line at bungee jumping, just my luck, i get the faulty rubber band.. i won't tempt fate that way..just my luck, it'll be God trying to teach me a leasson..

    i can't risk it…

    1. I just imagined you bungee jumping and the cable snapping then a voice from above saying "You just don't listen. I'll see you soon."

      Hilarious even though I know it shouldn't be.lol.

      1. that's EXACTLY what i imagine God sayin to me.. i want to zip line through the treetops in Costa Rica.. but dammit, even that's a bit much..

        i'm not tinkerbell.. i can't fly if something pops off..

    2. Is the pearl necklace the thing when you stick beads of increasingly larger sizes into the butty hole and slowly pull the string out one by one?!?!?!??!?!??!?!

        1. @Anika even I had to look up pearl necklace … don't feel bad.

          But … I am 100% in support of random arse terms for s*x acts. Just like a pearl necklace there is "Writing on the chalkboard"

        2. LMBO!

          Guy: Where you want it?

          Girl: Give me a pearl necklace and maybe some pearl earrings…

          "Writing on the chalkboard"? I've never heard of it but it's funny.

        3. lol….

          My fiance c*ms on my face and says "I just want you to see where im coming from". Corny but I do try to see eye to "eye" with him lol….

          Ok, im a cornball sometimes…

      1. LOL!! nah.. you're thinking about that scene from "set it off".. don't front…!! slim already answered you on what i t was.. to be honest, dude STILL needs to get his appropriate water intake.. to guarantee the consistency.. lol!!

        i'm just sayin…

  14. Yeah dat toe suckin is out. Trips me out how people won't toss a salad but will suck a toe. Now even if you just took a bath or shower. You gotta walk out of the bathroom which means your a$$ is probably cleaner than your feet at that point.

    1. Exactly, and if you've seen some people's showers, you know that their feet were probably cleaner before they stepped in. All that moisture and mildew…yuck, in my mouth? Negative.

    2. lol

      I wear the little shower shoes. One of the best things I took from my time in college.

      I sucked my fiance's toes once…actually, one toe lol. I felt dirtier about that than about licking his a$$…but I had to try it…

        1. lol. I lift my leg up and wash them. Lucky im flexible enough. I figure its still better than without the shoe.

      1. I share a shower with a man….lol

        And I dont have time to clean the shower every single time I use it. I take 3 showers per day (I exercise twice each day)

  15. and here I thought I was gonna be the only one for the salad toss. I shouldve known Chocolate Drop had posted already.LMAO. that's all I'll say about that.

    it was a cool list, I mean everyone has limits. It took me YEARS to ride roller coasters but its been so long now I'm scary again–but I wouldn't mind Mr. Boo being scared right along with me. I don't do scary movies at all though–I did as a child but I'm over it now…I love motorcycles–my stepdad had one when I was a kid and a family friend has been riding Harley's for more years than I've been alive. I only ride with experienced bikers though–not young guys and girls thinking its cool.

  16. This list is absolutely BAWSE!

    A lot of the things said here I already cosign.

    Slim – No roller coasters? You and ur bruhz will wreck each other for not bringing an extra plate of chicken to the set owt, but wont ride a roller coaster? I don't know fam…

    1. I'm not the average bruh. I don't wreck either. Never got into all that post-process. What I look like going to work or a job interview with my arm in a sling or a know on my head from getting kicked while trying to powerbomb some bursty little ace.lol.

  17. Ok imma go ahead and call out this nasty one. I will not under any circumstances f*ck my dude when i'm seeing red. I'm sorry I think that isht is nasty. I have a gf that said she f*cks with her man when she's seeing red and that he likes it….no surprise that dude was my ex's bestfriend hahaha. And hate to say it but the ONE time I 'rolled in the snow' and him and I were dating he asked me to f*ck during my monthly…I had to tell him look boo that is some white ppl isht. Won't do anal either…I mean…that is a one way exit only so dont be tryna sneak ur fingers, ur tongue or ur d*ck up in there I can't get with that.

    1. While I can feel you on the smashing after seeing red lights (I did it once … not a fan) … I am sick and tired of black women being afraid of anal. That's why white women get so much play in the first place.

      Stop being scurred with ur scary a$$

      1. Lmao, don't be mad. What I wont do anally I make up for with absolutely everything else 😉 You know my people basically invented s*x right? haha

        1. That's the thing … you can't substitute for it. Do you think I can substitute giving face time (aka the chocolate tornado)? What could I possibly substitute that with?

      2. I call it running red lights. lol. I think I tweeted an OMGsexfact last week that orgasms cure period pains and had dudes going nuts, grossed out. SOME, that is. eh, LOL.

      3. Psshh… don't compare all Black women to the White females. Hell, them ho3s will fcuk a goat if ya give them some extra sweetened Kool-Aid & a dead man if you put some vodka in it.

        1. lmao…exactly.

          Have yall seen that video of them (white women) eating sh*t out of an ice cream cone? yea compare black women to that….i think not.

      4. Here we go with the black women bs. If you like to hop the fence, dont put it on us.

        But anyway, I will try anything once sexually, unless it is painful. And because I only mess with big ones, I cannot do anal…because it hurts. Ive tried 10 times with different sizes (ex boyfriends) and it aint happening.

      5. Co-sign SBM

        Listen… don't give me crap about 'bigones'. I have seen Mandingo and Sean Micheal get some back door action….

        All I ever hear one this board is "They need to all be 8 inches. Why can't yall get some girth?"

        Welcome to Attica B!tch, you are going to get all the size you can handle!

        Phone check n!gga

      6. You will not be missed [black man]. You first…

        The term of parting the red sea is referred to as getting your red wings.

    2. I'll definitely let a dude play Moses and part my Red Sea, but it's gotta be the long-term SO and only if we really can't keep it together without gettin' it in. It only happened thrice in a year-and-some-odd relationship, which tells you how fun it really is. Idk, only things I can say about it is, you're extra wet and if you don't do it on the first damn day of your flow, you should be aiight. #kanyeshrug

        1. I'm pretty sure I could convince a man to kill his own mother before I could convince him to do that sh*t, but maybe it's the dudes I'm f*cking with or you're up on that new game. Either way, kudos!

          Haha, my friend got licked clean when she was on the rag and he was proud of himself, he told his friends that after he was done, he took his thumb and did the Simba/Lion King thing across her forehead. #deadanddying

        2. LOL

          They just wanted to do anything s*xual with me. Each time that I had that done, it was the first time I had done anything s*xual with that person. So there wasnt even any love involved. That was the only way I was letting those particular guys touch me. They were my period maintanence men lol. And they were sexy as h*ll too…not some ugly or fat dudes.

        3. Part of me is side-eyeing the sh*t out of you (half of that is growing up where I didn't trust the grass being green and the sky being blue and half is straight JEALOUSY) but if that's true, imma need you to write a book or some sh*t cause my game is apparently t-ball and you in the Major Leagues.

        4. I'm *okay* with chex during that time, just because I don't feel I should go without for that long, and only when I'm actually with someone. As for being eaten out then, I just can't. The only person who has ever even wanted to do that was actually a long-term FWB situation. I get the impression that men don't want to do this in a serious relationship, and the ones that want to do it aren't around for love. I had to shut him down on that real quick, because I damn sure wouldn't want you kissing me after that. Not to be vulgar, but you're dropping an egg at that time, I don't need anybody licking up what was a potential child. *shudders*

        5. Not the first time telling this story. I was in such shock that a man would want to do this. Especially when it was his idea. I would never ask such a thing. And then when it happended again, I started thinking this was becoming a new trend…like anal s*x or something. Guess its not catching on like I thought it would lol.

          Ok, next…

  18. I 100% agree with you on two of those things … and actively do the other two.

    I own a Motorcycle (also … who the f*** is going 80 on a bike? I feel slow when I'm doing less than 100. 120 is pretty much average). I hate roller coaster and have only been on one … ever. I don't f* with Jason or Freddy. Last one … no comment … all I will say is Dial soap is anti-bacterial.

  19. I won't do threesomes or anything involving my butt except slapping it. Oh and I don't like scary movies so that's a no go too. Everything else I'm pretty open to.

      1. There's very little I won't at least try with someone I'm in a serious relationship with, I will (and have been) be open to anal. Won't I won't do is put my tongue in your area. Period.

      2. The anus is not a self-lubricating entity. Therefore, if there is not proper lubrication, it will hurt like a mother-of-pearls. Plus, some guys might lose their mind at how tight it feels up there (the anal sphincter are strong boyyy) and forget they've got to be gentle.

        I will say though, there are a lot of nerve endings around the anus hole which could lead to some increased sensations during anal sex.

        But still, no.

        1. Obviously booty hole exploration is something that needs to be worked up to … but I can't get with the outright "I'm scared and I will never try". If that was a mantra to live by … you wouldn't even started with regular s*x.

          There are all kinds of articles, books, and videos on how to start doing this … don't be scurred.

        2. its not self lubricating and the sphincter muscle does its own thing from my understanding of the process. and almost every woman has had a guy "slip it in" by mistake and it hurt like hell! those are my guesses!

        3. "slipping it in" doesn't work.

          I will go ahead and lay 60% of the fear of anal on guys. Too many doing stupid isht.

          A finger and lube must be involved. Also, you gotta ask first, she needs to get her breathing right, and you gotta be gental. Now there are all these women with dumb ninjas who tried to throw some dry stink in a dry pit and done messed it up for the professionals.

        4. @Peyso: She does not have a p*nis, so that seems off. I'm not talking about arbitrarily sticking man made objects into someone.

          If she was obsessed with my backdoor, there are a few sanctioned things I could approve … but there will be no type of penile shaped object to penetrate my being.

        5. What happens if that was the one thing she didnt do? Or doing it to you was the one thing that got her off?

          It just seems to me that you are advocating that everyone MUST try this but at least to me that's as bad as the women saying she wont do it.

          You're allowed to have a whole bunch of things that you dont wanna do but it just doesnt seem right that a woman cant have the same type of list

      3. Ok let me put on a strap on and f*ck you up your a$$hole and see how much you like it. Talking about fear….the sh*t hurts…no fear in it. If you havent tried it(getting a d*ck up your a$$), dont try to come up with bs about why certain women dont like it.

        1. In response to CheekZ:

          Gay men have anal sex because there is no other way for them to have penetrative sex (this is penetrative not oral or manual or any of that other stuff).

          I was born with a vagina that has brought much sunshine to the lives of the men who have been lucky enough to partake in it's offerings. Personally, the motivation for me to get beyond the pain of having my anal virginity taken just isn't there when I know the punani can bring just as much pleasure with a whole lot less pain.

          #imjustsaying

        2. so you would let a woman do that to you? the day a man lets me do that to him, thats the day i would consider it.

        3. ITS NOT THE SAME!

          The angle is better! I don't care how wet you get… nothing can compare to the angle you get from backdoor beats………..

          and why do you keep asking me to take it in the backdoor? Honestly, you hole looks different than mine. We should put each other's booty on the same level.

      4. What's the universal fear of anal for men? Both men and women's buttholes are made for pooping. You go first then i'll try 🙂

    1. As a self-admitted "freak" … I feel like you can't speak bad of it until you have done it.

      I'm pretty sure regular s*x hurt the first time you did it, but I'm assuming you didn't swear it off.

      Pain is temporary … org*sms are slightly longer.

      1. true, but i stick to the 2 types of O's that don't involve my butt. No mouths or man parts near that area, that's grounds for some type of violent behavior from me!

      2. Ok SBM…put urself in our shoes for a split second (and I know it may hurt u to do so), and imagine someone tryna put a pipe in YOUR a$$…IMAGINE. I can and have overcome my fear of spiders…I cannot overcome the fear of sum nukka tearing up my sphincter lmao

        1. I do #4 on the list … and I have tried other things that were reaches outside of my comfort zone … and I'll leave it at that. I'm not doing anything that will earn me a gay label … but I have endured pain in order to try something.

          As I said before … stop being scurred with ur scary a$$

    2. It does hurt at first…..but as with anything you keep practicing at, it gets better each time…….there are some pleasure points back there believe it or not……try it sometimes.

      1. no thanks. i'll get pleasure from other spots. apparently tons of women agree with me, judging from the comments!

  20. good list slim.

    the one i can 100% agree with you on is motorcycles. i don't care how careful you are. that doesn't stop careless drivers on the road from running you over. one of my real close frat brothers lost his left leg about a year ago. just can't do it.

    i love scary movies but they just don't make them like they used to. i don't consider anything that was made in the past decade truly a scary movie. more like suspense.

    roller coasters are cool too. i never really looked at them the same since final destination 3. i haven't been to an amusement park in a minute tho.

    tossing salads is what it is. it's not like you're sticking your whole tongue into her rectum. *shrug* i do understand that its not for everyone tho.

    i would also like to add to your list:

    i'm a very picky eater. i don't eat seafood. noone in life would ever get me to eat seafood again.

      1. seafood that comes out of the ocean. whiting, shrimp, crabs, lobster, catfish,etc. if it swims, i'm not eating it.

        now that other seafood. 😀

    1. I've know someone who lost their foot on a motorcycle. I'm definitely all set with that. Seafood is my favorite type of food. I'll eat whichever one we're talking about here.lol.

  21. what's with guys not liking roller coasters?! they're fun! i LOVE the feeling that I'm about to lose my stomach when I'm on them 😀 Or maybe it's bc roller coasters are the only time I can scream my head off without the cops being called! 😉

  22. Wow… this is how I last explained anal sex to someone. I'm the type of guy who will do it, but I do not miss it if the chick is not trying to do it. To be perfectly honest, am I really going to have a tantrum over the prison p**sy, naw son, i'll go without.

    No tossing salads.

    I have had my cups of tea in the sexual biodome of women who just won't do certain things, and to me, it goes like this, if she won't do it, some one else will. For example, a chick who didn't like it from behind, a chick who refused to be on top, a chick who didn't like to give head, a chick who didn't like it if you weren't touching her and kissing her. If I feel like i'm dealing with an exception list and not an acceptance list, i'm likely to forego and just do without.

    1. Wow, there are really women out there who won't do this regular a** stuff? I expected a list like no anal, golden showers, threesomes, salad tossing, etc. (the stuff in this comments section. Are there really women who won't let you hit from behind or be on top? They're almost asking to get cheated on at that point.

        1. blasphemy!. getting it from behind…*gets warm inside* is great! Grb a handful of hair n spank that a** while you're back there… Sry haven't seen the boo in a week.

        1. I don't believe any one sex is worse in bed. Being worthless in bed is not gender specific at all.

    2. A girl who doesn't like it from behind probably likes intimacy, which is cool, but after a point y'all are close enough, you don't need all that honey-bear-boo sh*t. Just f*ck.

      A girl who doesn't wanna be on top is a girl who doesn't know what the f*ck she's doing when she's up there. Trust. Either that or she's lazy (which might be worse).

      No head? On to the next. I'm a chick and even I can cosign on that. (But it's different if it's the first time she's kicking it with you because if my philosophy is if she sucks you off with no type of prerequisites, then shawty a ho and something might be sizzling down south.)

      Hugging and kissing is cute and sh*t, but I'd rather just have him talk dirty to me. Chex is chex, save that lovey-dovey garbage for the WE Network

      1. Oh yea me likey you (no homo, even though I am homo lol)

        You can f*ck and it be passionate as h*ll. For me, its passionate because of the fact that im in love with the other person…not necessarily because of what we are doing.

        I had to get him into choking me, pulling my hair, and talking dirty.

      2. Oh yea me likey you (no homo, even though I am homo lol)

        You can f*ck and it be passionate as h*ll. For me, its passionate because of the fact that im in love with the other person…not necessarily because of what we are doing.

        I had to get him into choking me, pulling my hair, and talking dirty.

        1. Yeah, like I can understand men not wanting to catch a case, but I love having my hair pulled, being shoved, I guess I just like it rough.

          #kanyeshrug

  23. to add to what Peyso said upthread, a threesome with my man and another woman/man is not going to happen. If that is what he wants, well then he don't want me.

    Love your list. Agree with all but the motorcycle. My dad used to own motorcycles when I was a kid so I loved riding it, wanted to learn to drive one myself at one point. But my dad also has a metal plate in his forehead due to a mototrcycle accident in his teens so that keeps me at bay

    1. I don't know about this one. I think I'd be willing to go there under the right circumstances. For instance after years of marriage and the love life is getting a little stale (not much other to try) and I am 100% secure in my marriage. I also wouldn't do it if it seemed like something he was just dying to do or repeatedly brought up, then I'd feel that it was more about me not being enough. My husband asked me about this once, and then changed his mind after I asked him what he'd do if I fell in love with the girl. That'll always get 'em, they don't want to be the one who turned you gay and their ego wouldn't be able to take it if you left them for a woman.

      One of my sisters just told me that she had a threesome for her boyfriend (with a friend of hers) and she has no regrets. However, they've only been together four months and I feel if things are already needing that much experimentation, there's a bigger problem. Plus, now it's kind of weird for her to be around her girl (who my sister's self-centered ass actually thinks is now in love with her). Also, I would never do it just for him, I would do it for us (as a couple) and to try something new.

      1. "My husband asked me about this once, and then changed his mind after I asked him what he’d do if I fell in love with the girl"….lmao! I'm stealing that one.

        I've done the threesome thing and loved it. But its not something I do often, maybe like once every couple of years when I am in a committed relationship. Or when im the other woman. Women are so beautiful and taste better than they look.

        I told my fiance that I wanted to have our first threesome the night before we get married and he told me that would be our first and last one. I d*mn near cried when he said that lol.

        I wouldnt recommend it though if the love truly isnt strong. Depends on the man though…..

        1. Your situation is a little different from most women, because you seem to genuinely have an attraction to other women. I can appreciate another woman's beauty, but it's not the same (which is why it would have to be the right circumstances). So, I imagine asking that question would probably actually scare the sh*t outta your SO.

        2. d*mmit, you're right lol.

          But he knows I could never fall in love with a woman, so it might work.

          But then again, Im the one who asked for the threesome, and had to twist his arm to agree. So I guess it wouldnt.

          But that line was still funny as h*ll lol.

        3. all i can say is, i could never be in a relationship with a woman. the only person who should be crying and menstruating and sh*t in the relationship is me.

  24. IMa keep it one hunnid. Im nto follin with motorcycles. Ive rodeon the back of one and even that was a bit much. Im a 4 wheel dude. Yall can have that Biker gang shyt #ignance

    1. You were on the back of a motorcycle? Who was driving?

      As a biker myself (ya'll some soft reggins round here) I must say that riding "b*****" is off limits 99% of the time.

      1. lol

        I've done it once. It's not that bad. Well, the riding part at least. I'm bad with bicycles, so I dont think I could ever manage to drive a motorcycle with my clumsy a$$…

    2. I'm definitely down to hop onto the back of somebody's crotch rocket, but as for driving one myself? meh.

      I have a need for speed and I could see myignantself haulin a$$ down the freeway and lookin good doin it… but also, what do I do about purses and dresses and high-heeled shoes? You can keep that backpack bullsh*t, I'm grown.

  25. Absolutely, positively will NOT be doing the Kim Kardashian, Ray J thing- No Sex Tapes. Yep we can do the whole Naughty Nurse, Dirty Cop, Freaky Referee thing however; you better have a damn good memory son, because I will not be on YouTube 6 months from now all cause you mad. Love is a funny thing, like Sade said “One day chicken, next day feathers” I don’t plan on having any regrets of the sex tape gone wrong magnitude.

    1. If you GOTTA watch yourself f*ck me, which I can completely understand (lol), we can definitely get down in front of a mirror (Black Snake Moan style!) or we can get the camcorder and do a live feed to the TV so you can see it is as its happening with no recording going on.

      If a dude wants to make a sex tape with me, he knows imma keep that muhfucca so he loses interest in the idea real quick.

    2. what about face covered shots of certain body parts?

      If it doesn't identify you… is it waving?

      I love homemade stuff, so I see alot of dude holding the camera doggy. If you don't have a tat.. no way to know its you.

      1. I see your point, but if I made a tape, it would only be for private consumption. If I gotta make sure my identity is obscured… well who in the hell else is watching it?

      1. That chick just gotta be bad enough (8+) to force you on that ride. Hit a kiddie roller coaster w/her — let her know it's to make sure she's not scared or anything …

        … That'll break you in, then you're ready for big timers.

        Def'n of a Kiddie Rollercoaster:

        1) Preferably not wooden

        2) Twisty … Maybe a few upside-down loops, but no huge drops

        3) Don't sit in the back of the coaster (painful)

        4) Half your fellow riders can't read

        … You got this man.

  26. When you got to tossing a salad I fell out of my chair. I still don't understand how and why this get people off. Great post. I agree with all the other stuff too.

  27. There are some things that I wouldn't mind done to me that I wouldn't do for another and vice versa.

    And as a femdom there are some things I would only do in a non-committed relationship and some I would only do in a committed relationship.

  28. 1. No threesomes

    2. No anal sex. I feel the same way a REAL man would feel if his woman asked him to allow her to poke him with a dildo.

    3. No tongue of mine around something that expels stuff smelly enough to gag a maggot. UGH!!!!!

    4. No guy pressuring me to do either. If I need to set him free to go and enjoy those things, then I don't have a problem with setting him free.

    5. Everyone needs parameters. That's what stops people from running others into the ground.

  29. Legalization didn’t come about on November 2, the year of 2010, but it might take place in November 2012, when Americans vote for your president and congress, with turnout always above for mid-term elections. That’s why drug experts think the belief that almost 3. 5 million Californians voted with regard to legalization will spur debate not just over U. S. marijuana prohibition but within the global drug control system in its entirety.

  30. Don't ask why I came back after a year to read this… I'm pretty sure I was looking for a post on marriage. Anywhozers… this one was good for a laught that I most definitely needed today Slim. I think we are more alike than I initially thought… I co-sign your list 85%, the other 15 you'll have to ask about. LOL.

  31. Wow..we would get along great Mr. Slim. I'm a woman and my list is the same. 1.No motorcycles! I've fantasized about riding around on a lime green Kawasaki ninja but I'm just not down to go out in such a senseless way, 2. No horror flicks (After I saw The Grudge it was 86 for all horror films in my life). 3. Absolutely NO rollercoasters! I just don't understand how people get off on that "I'm about to die" feeling. No thanks…

  32. Why did it take me reading half the comments to understanding that the picture of a salad being tossed was not referring to literally tossing salad but a sexual act?…smh

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