Home Women If She Ruled His World…

If She Ruled His World…


***Jesus told me to be easy on Good Friday, so here’s a throwback.  Happy Easter and what not…***

No warm and fuzzy intro, let’s sit right down and go to church.  Today’s message from my pulpit is about controlling women.  From my novice observations, there are two types of controlling women.  The first type of woman has her man under physical control, known to the rest of the world as “p*ssy-whipped”.  We all know a dude who is egregiously whipped by his woman.  No matter what happens, whether this woman is right or wrong in any instance, she knows she can rope her man right back in with a roll in the sack.  This is problematic not only because of the way the power shifts in the relationship, but it sets a horrible precedent for both parties.  The man leaves the relationship thinking being whipped is OK, and the woman leaves thinking she can continue to use her goodies to dominate the men she encounters in the future.  Until she runs into a cocksman, of course.

The second type of woman has her man mentally whipped.  While being physically whipped does carry a mental aspect to it, the woman who has her man whipped mentally has a more deliberate hold on her man.  She does even need to touch her man to put him in check.  This doesn’t necessarily mean she’s verbally abusive to her man, but she knows how to push his buttons and psychologically manipulate him into doing exactly what she wants. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not throwing a pity party for weak minded men because men have been doing this sort of thing to women for years.  But as a man, it’s difficult to watch a dude with his girl in Macy’s holding wifey’s purse while she trying on clothes and yapping to her girlfriend on her Blackberry about how much fun they’re gonna have in the club tonight once she finds the right dress.  I often want to put on my “Captain Save-a-Bro” cape, swoop in and bring this brother to the light, but then again, who am I to upset nature’s balance.  After all, what he eats doesn’t make me sh*t.

See Also:  Top 11 Qualities Men Love About Women

If you are reading this, and you are whipped either mentally or physically, there is not much advice I can offer.  If you’re p*ssy whipped, go to your nearest Duane Reade, pick up a p*ssy patch, and try to break your addiction as soon as possible.  It may sound like a daunting task, but if you want to reclaim your life and not end up as a lifetime purse holder, you have to make it happen.  I know you think right now that you can’t function if she doesn’t give you her loving, but trust me, you’ll survive.  If the patch doesn’t work, my second tip for you would be to turn the tables and whip the p*ssy.  Whip it, whip it good.  I guess it’s easier said than done, because if you could whip the p*ssy, you wouldn’t be in this situation to begin with.  But now you’re here, and you need to figure something out, so get it together.  If you need help, contact your local chapter of the League of Extraordinary Cocksmen, and they can advise you further.  If there’s not a chapter in your area, contact me.

For the mentally whipped man, all I can say to you my brother is run.  Run for the hills.  Run like your life depends on it, because it does.  In this situation, you are simply being mentally dominated by another human who clearly has a higher mentally capacity than you do, and has no problem using it for their own personal gain.  This is very problematic especially in a relationship.  Anyone involved in a situation where they are constantly being mind-f*cked by someone else is in a bad way.  And before the women try to rip me a new one in the comment section, let me state for the record that there is a difference between a strong woman in a relationship, and one who is purposely manipulative and vindictive.  Relationship or not, male or female, that’s just the type of person you need to avoid, period.  (Is saying period followed by a period redundant?)

See Also:  Defending a Man’s Right to Choose: Combating the Female Fear of Rejection

This is usually the part of the post where I would query of our dear readers if they have ever seen or experienced this phenom.  But I don’t even think I need to ask the fellas if they’ve ever seen or known a man who was whipped.  That’s like asking whether or not the sun rose this week.  Ladies, do you like to control your men or do have a friend that has her man wrapped around her finger?  Let’s build people, and hopefully today we can save a life.  I’m out.

Cocksman Extraordinaire,


  1. I don't like to control my man. I have never known a man who could be controlled. I only deal with men with A type personalites for the most part…if anything I have had a few men try and control and manipulate me. In fact, I will go even further and say men are the ones who try and assume power positions in relationships for the most part…..and I don't think a man is ever really pu**y whipped genuinely….they want you to think they are.

  2. Mmmmh, my sister always seems to pick guys that'll let her run over on them. They'll be at the house babysitting my three nieces (none of which are his) every Friday & Saturday while she's at the club, cooking dinner, cleaning house, and generally doing anything she asks. To be fair though, these same men will be living off her with no income in sight.

    I just got home from Hot Tub Time Machine and Darryl's (he'll probably always be Darryl from The Office to me) character hyphenated his last name for his wife he was that whipped.

  3. Oh, as for me, I can't handle a man who's too submissive. I knew I could get my way with my ex and it got old real quick. It's just not a good look. I want an Alpha Male, someone who will pick his battles with me but exert his power when necessary. There is nothing sexier than a man putting his foot down/standing his ground.

    1. So many chicks say they love an Alpha male and that its sexy when he puts his foot down….

      But in the heat of battle, when I put my foot down.. I don't get sex for it? Why is that? Its not that I don't see positive effects of takign executive control at times… I just don't get laid for it.

      Oddly enough most of the time that I put my foot down its about releasing control of a situation and making wifey make a choice. "B!tch don't ask me what I want to eat. MAKE A DAMN CHOICE FOR YOURSELF."

  4. i'm not gonna lie.. i'm controlling, but it's in more of a "it's alright, i can do that.. just chill out, I GOT THIS!" kind of way..

    no lie, i never learned the whole "girl, work him til you get what you want" method.. sorry, i skipped that class.. it takes too much d*mn mental work to pschologically play someone.. i'd rather save that energy for jeopardy.. AND for when i'm actually getting paid for my mind power..

    not only that, but while i think my cooter is magic.. i'm not using it to have you whipped.. i don't know many women that like that character in a man.. but i guess they're out there.. hence the reason (and necessity) for this post..

    i just don't get it.. but honestly, some men like it.. UGH!! there's a jamaican saying… "every how have dem stick a bush".. translation- there's someone for everyone.. but when the cooter gets old and torn down, and kegels just don't bounce it back the way it should.. then that woman is going to have to rely on something else.. poor thing…

  5. i wouldnt say i'm controlling but i do like to get my way from time to time…so far in life i’ve moved through environments where there seems to always be more men than women (e.g. family, university, work). I paid attention and realised that it’s quite easy to turn the tables on men if a woman wants to get her way…

    Most guys don’t have much mental defence against feminine wiles if they are into you…but it's no fun doing it all the time…. trying to keep your man as well as keeping him whipped is generally not sustainable and it really isn’t healthy in relationships so I’m not an advocate of that behaviour…it’s definitely no fun doing it to someone you love cos there isn’t anything like a real man that loves you and will be there for you through thick and thin… if you keep making him jump through hoops for the small things he aint gonna have any energy left when it comes to the big things…

    Pu$$y whipped men are generally pathetic…it’s sad to see but the process of getting them there is kind of a fun challenge…sort of like breaking a wild untamed stallion so you can eventually jump on to experience that thrilling ride… it’s a very rare game for me but if I like the odds I’m in…don’t tend to continue resorting to getting the bedrock whip out and using it again and again…cos it’s not my thing to be in a relationship that both parties cannot grow in…

  6. I did have one whipped BF… but I swear I didn't do it. I feel like he came to me whipped. Before we even started the relationship he was jumping through hoops… that I didn't ask for. So when I finally gave in and decided to date him, it was no different. I was not surprised when he went from regular whipped to extremely whipped. I tried to help him… tried to get him to stand on his own but like I said yesterday… I am not #CaptainSaveaSimp *shrugs*

  7. I can't lie… I use to be weak. Real weak. I went to an all boys High School and it really eff'd me up. I use to go overboard. Buying flowers for no reason, writing love letters, singing on the answering machine. It was gross… It was a decent foundation for long standing relationships b/c you need to make your SO feel special after 7 years. But after 2 weeks , I was simping before the term was invented. and did I mention that it didn't work. Most of the relationship ended quickly and the ones that didn't ended without me getting much @$$.

    It stop during my freshman year in College, the first semester. I noticed the older dudes would bag the chicks my year, without being nice to them. Than I chick I was in love with who wasn't giving it up to me opened my eyes… she said:

    " When I say no, its just b/c I feel bad about doing it. I really don't want you to stop." CHANGED MY LIFE.

    1. BWHAHAHA. Lemme tell you CHeeKZ, I was just about to say there's nothing wrong w/ flowers & love notes then you hit me w/ the singing on the answering machine… and I was wobbling around like Scopion on Mortal Kombat. Lmao. Omg. Something about performance arts that makes me laugh. THEN you said after two weeks that was the "FINISH HIM!!"

      Anywho… I am glad that you learned these things to put special touches on relationships after some length of time. Maybe you should teach a class b/c a lot of dudes, just don't.

    2. Amen Brother….testify!

      Yea all you fellow brothers physically and Mentally whipped…heed the words of Cheekz Money….before you slip and fall and become the next Doug Christie

      may the chuuch say A-Men.

  8. "The were who they were before they got here"

    This sums up my feelings on dudes who find themselves whipped – mentally or physically. They had to have that in them before they entered the relationship.

    Personally, in my life, I've used varying strategies in dealing with women. When I was in relationships with women I didn't see myself with long term, I didn't really care who got there way, as long as the we were having fun. This was because I veiewed the relationship casually, and really didn't mind if she stayed or left. I didn't have to put thought into what I wanted long term. I had success with this – save a few broken hearts (didn't think they were as attached as the actually were).

    Now, with my wife, from jump, I knew I had to be thoughtful in how I would approach the relationship because from jump, I had an idea we'd be together for a long while.

    With her, I guess you could say I've mixed a passively domineering approach with an empowering approach. What this means is, I spent lots of time early in our relationship formulating my opinions and sharing with her, in great detail, the way I think about life, love, marriage, kids, our future, finances – anything I thought would be important to us. By spending so much time formulating thought-out opinions on issues effecting our relationship – and then spending an equal amount of time discussing them with her, eventually, she grew to view things the way I do. Her worldview and my worldview ended up being the same. So – with lots of issues, we talk our way through them and I – trusting the work I put in over these 6+ years, have no doubt that the conclusion she comes to, is – like 95% of the time – the same conclusion I've already come to. She feels empowered, because she's a part of the decision making process and she gets her way, which is also my way – so – we get our way – and everyone is happy.

    Now – there are other times – that other 5% of the time where we just totally disagree, a decision has to be made and there's no room for compromise. It's those times where I have to just put my foot down and she just has to trust her husband to do whats best for the relationship. To put in plainly – she has to submit. Now, submission is like consignment "strictly for live women, not for fresh-women". Understanding how to be submissive, without being a push over is, for me, an important part of being a wife. My wife gets it, and that's why she's irreplacable. I could go into detail, but, this post is long already… so… i'll stop here.

    1. "Understanding how to be submissive, without being a push over is, for me, an important part of being a wife. My wife gets it, and that’s why she’s irreplacable."

      I CO-SIGN. There is an exact science to being a good wife… and those that do it right should be applauded.

      1. The perfect relationship to me was the one between King Leonidas and his wife in 300.

        If you've seen that movie, he respected her and she respected him, but she knew when the f*ck to step up and when to back down. She was soldier, for real.

  9. I kno PLENTY of men that r "whipped". I feel bad for them but what stops me from feeling too bad is when I think about all the females out there that are "whipped". Like for every 1 whipped guy there are about 10 whipped girls. All you can do is pray for those individuals bcuz 9 times outta 10, when you try to tell them they're whipped they deny it &/or make you out to be an a**hole for trying to enlighten them. I have a controlling personality & I hate to be bossed around so (Thank goodness) I've never been whipped. Some of my friends may disagree but none of my boyfriends have ever been whipped by me. Its a sign of weakness for a man to be whipped & a weak man is worthless! *grabs purse back from my boyfriend & walks off*

  10. I think anyone, male or female, that is in a relationship is whipped to a certain extent. To me being whipped is more when someone you love uses that love to manipulate you and you allow it. Or when you tolerate bad behavior because you are so in love or the sex is so good. It's easy enought to avoid. You just have to be mature enough to recognize when you're being played. If you're not sexually expierienced it's a little harder to avoid.

  11. Great posts so far. I'd say that a lot of guys are trained by TV and other media to be whipped. That and other simpish dudes too who tell them "you have to wine and dine a girl" (ick) or who would excuse their behavior by saying that "at least I get laid (by being a little wimp)."

    These are the same guys who define their entire identities by their girlfriends who control them. You can tell that (when) they get dumped there will be no sense of self or manhood left. We call it around here "the upcoming fall." Sure enough, the "whipper" dumps the whippee and then the guy enters some circle of depression: "omg, she was my entire life!"

    In terms of "saving a life" it depends on the nature of the guy. I've found dudes who knew there was a problem but was A+ grade stubborn when given a life preserver.
    Clear warning: if you are trying to help a guy and he acts nippy and hostile to you like you KNOW he never tells his lady, then you know he's already dead on arrival.
    (and deserves a beating for acting out-of-place to you).

    Those people just need to be left alone to argue with themselves about their whippedness. One who show a legitimate effort to be told the truth, those are the ones worth engaging.

  12. Personally, I don’t see an issue with physically whipping a man TO AN EXTENT. I want to be addicted to what the d*ck did in the case of a long-term relationship because I don’t want be unsatisfied and end up on the creep. Same for him, I’m sure. But I’m not the type to withhold sex as punishment, ’cause that’s just childish. I think of the Golden Rule and I KNOW I’d be out if a man tried to sequester the d*ck over a bullsh*t fight about which movie to get from Redbox.

    Mentally, nobody should be whipped. Both halves of the relationship should have independent thoughts, largely uninfluenced by what the other person wants. More often than not (notice I’m not saying always or everytime), men will take advantage of a woman they can easily control and women will abuse the hell out of a brother whose wallet they can influence. There has to be some give-and-take.

    Personally, I’ve been with both sides of the spectrum. One guy refused to compromise ever and it drove me CRAZY, because it seemed like the world rotated around him. In contrast, right after that, I went with a man I could mold like Play-Doh, but that sh*t wasn’t fun either because I need a man who can stand his ground and not be so easily raped by me in our sexual relations disputes.


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get SBM Delivered

Get SBM Delivered

Single Black Male provides dating and relationship
advice for today's single looking for love

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This