Most breaks ain't this sweet.
The following takes place over the phone on some random day between a couple that has been going through some tough times.
Agnes: Hey.
Harry: Hey. What’s up?
Agnes: I’ve been doing some thinking…
Harry: Yeah, so have I. (Harry is ready to tell her that he’s committed to her and wants to work things out)
Agnes: I think we should take a break.
Harry: What?
Agnes: Yeah, I think we both need time to clear our heads and work out our own issues.
Harry: **Grits teeth** If you think that’s best, then fine. I want this to work and I want to see you happy.
Agnes: K. Well, let’s keep in touch in the mean time. Love you.
Harry: Love you too.
Agnes: **Hangs up and calls Larry Longstroke to help her clear her head, mind, and spine while she clears his lower head only.**
Harry is a variety of things. He’s a simp and his spine his weak. Little does he know his girl is getting her spine rearranged by a Sugard*ck Man Whore (I didn’t make this up). This is quite despicable on both ends. This is why I don’t do breaks. I understand that sometimes people love each other and need to take some time to figure things out, but breaks are the absolute worst option ever. And rolling with the theme of lists, I’m going to include a list of reasons why I don’t do breaks or any other trial periods.
It’s authorization to legally cheat
I’ve done breaks in the past. And honestly, every time there was a break someone did something with someone else somewhere else. I’m not going to lie and say I’ve been an angel every time. But c’mon, I didn’t want to be the fool! This concept of the break allows smart people to rationalize shady actions. Not a fan.
It’s a Cop Out
After being in a relationship with someone for a while, some people really don’t know how to call it quits. It’s like a person who’s putting in their 2 week notice with a company they’ve worked for over the past 5-10 years. They know their time there has come to an end and they just don’t know how to set up that meeting with the boss to drop the words “I’m f*ckin’ outta here.” Just (wo)man up say how you feel. No point in going on a break when you have no real intent of getting back together. Imagine your company saying “We don’t need you for a bit” and you’re just sitting at home waiting for the call and they already hired a new person to take your place. You go in the office and see a picture of some overweight kids and your stuff in a box. Lame buckets.
It’s Immature…Most of the Time
When a married couple separates, they know what time it is. They’re both out there knowingly seeing other people and bringing new lovers over while the kids are with the other parent. “Me and so-and-so are on a break” just means that someone wasn’t grown enough to call it quits. Sit down with the person and tender your resignation rather than say you’re going on vacation and never coming back.
So yeah, those are just some of my thoughts on this concept of breaks. What do you think? Do breaks ever really have a happy ending? Who is more likely to utilize the “we need to take a break” line to find a way out of the confines of their relationship? Have you ever taken a break? Let us know.
“Take a break” my a$$,
Twitter: @slimjackson Website: www.threewaystotakeit.com
I agree with this TOTALLY. I never was fond of breaks, especially when one is just in a relationship. My ex-boo currently told me he wants us to be on a break, but I know it's so he can run rampant and continue the hosh*t he was caught doing. Breaks to me as routes to hold on to something just in case you wanna come back around and stir that pot again. It's just a way to prolong the termination of something that's not beneficial to both parties and it's a cop out. So yea, I agree with this.
I do not believe in taking a break. I believe people need to be honest and just admit that they want to just break the hell up. LOL
For MOST relationships it is just a cop out as you stated above. You are going to have your ups and downs and relationship. That is to be expected. People are so quick to walk away instead of sticking with it an working it out.
A lot of times this so called "break" is an excuse for them to sleep around with other people while they still keep you around. It's like they can have their cake and eat it too. My last boyfriend was on this same bs. Oh yea he wanted a break but he didn't seem to want to break from my p**** LOL smh
If you want a pass card for cheating…just ask for a break..
btw..read your blog…love it!
Exactly. Just say you want to cheat. LOL…Thank you for reading!
I'm with you on this post. What's the point? If you don't wanna be with me or I don't wanna be with you here and now, then I/you probably don't want to down the road. I've never been on a break with anyone, although my ex-husband wanted to divorce and still be together. He asked for a break from our marriage license, fool.
Actually, my old boss and her husband seperated for a year three years into their marriage. They ended up happily married for the next 25 years. Oh, and there's always Ross and Rachel.
love the ross and rachel reference. i was thinking the exact same thing. like, well they made it… lol
Ross and Rachel? Who dat?
clearly you weren't a die hard "Friends" fan. lol.
i was JUST gonna say that..
Ross: WE WERE ON A BREAK!! i thought our relationship was dead.."
Rachel: "well you sure had a great time at the wake..!"
you can pretty much gather what happened from that..
I completely agree with the Ross & Rachel reference. Breaks can work theoretically, but they suck in the meantime. Yes, you should just break up but who really wants to do that??
yep MANY married couples reconcile after a "break" or separation.
I read the post and thought of Ross & Rachel also, LOL.
Whenever I hear or read something about a "break" in someone's relationship, I think of Ross & Rachel. That was funny!
Im gonna say this now… Rachel was the one who wanted a break. Ross treid to reconcile. She had MArk in the crib to "talk" #cmonson. Ross heard his voice, got mad, and boned shorty.
They were on a break. She decided she wanted to be off, and got mad when Ross was doin him. How was Ross suppose to know she wasnt trickin when son was the focal point of their problems?
Ross simped out, but I ride with his decision.
Please dont judge me, I'm beggin you
GinaMarie, they never do, now do they?
LOL you so right LOL
I agree with everything that Slim said.
Excuses are the bane of my existence..Asking me for a break, is telling me that your incompetent..So you want to be with me, but not right now??? Okay buddy…
I do not believe in breaks. Stop being a punk and just break up. If we get back together later, then so be it. But, no need to have folks in limbo while taking this "break." If you get to act like you're single while we're taking a "break" then you are single and, therefore, we've broken up.
I understand that sometimes you just need to be alone and clear your head and all that jazz. But that can be done IN a relationship. Your partner should understand that you need some space (by space I don't mean new cutty, lol). If the relationship is what has you all stressed then we need to talk about it and/or call it quits.
If there are issues in the relationship that aren't worth "breaking up" over, then what will a "break" do for us? We can work out whatever the issue is while still together. I've never heard of couples collectively getting their act together seperately. Huh? lol.
A relationship break is a sign of serious strain and troubles …perhaps it is even an imminent sign that things are soon to be really over…
I get that sometimes people need timeout from each other…but saying that I don’t believe in these breaks cos most things can only get sorted out by working through it together…if u end up cheating on a break then it is time to check out of the relationship
True Love cannot take a break… #simplefact
I don't believe in taking breaks either. Time is too short and tomorrow is not promised. Either we are going to work this out together as a couple or we are going to permanently go our seperate ways.
Besides a break is a set up move by the person asking for it. Usually some cheating is going to take place and then if you were to reunite, now we have to process thru all the sh*t we did while on the break..and field thru a thousand questions. Sometimes the relationship is on worse footing after the break then it was before it……
"Time is too short and tomorrow is not promised."
Exactly.
The only time I've ever taken a break was with my first love. We were happy and in love but it was a long-distance relationship and we were worried that things would get bad down the line if we didn't. So we decided to take some time so we could both do what we were doing and we both had every intention of getting back together.
Time passed, effed-up things happened, and the break got longer and longer. Hurt feelings accumulated on both sides. We stayed friends but never dealt with our issues because we always knew we would get back together when the time was right and we could deal with them then. And then he passed away. That was bad enough but having to accept the fact that all of our unresolved crap is going to remain unresolved forever is the most difficult thing I've ever had to do.
So yeah – I don't believe in breaks. If you have issues, try to solve them or go your separate ways. You can't put people you care about on a shelf until you feel like dealing with them. Life doesn't always work like that.
That's a crazy story. Definitely something most of us would never consider when taking a break, but that's really real. Not sure how I'd feel if that happened. Pretty sure it would impact my life for a while.
It's a pretty bizarre thing to go through, but it's also been a blessing in that it has really impacted the way I approach my relationships now – if I have something to say I say it because I no longer assume I have all the time in the world to go back and fix things.
Queen T, I agree. This fool thought I would wait around to see if things worked out with this new chick (that he had been screwing around with behind my back)…if it didn't work out, then break time would be over and he would want to resume our relationship. When dude asked me for a break–I broke away completely and haven't looked back.
good post. i do agree. i don't know why, but "not a fan." just made me laugh for a good 30 seconds.
i've proposed the 'break' to a boyfriend before and it was out of completely selfish reasons. i didn't need space. i didn't even need new sexytime. i just wanted to see if i liked guy B better than my current bf (at the time) because we were having problems.
we took several 'breaks' during our six year relationship and i can't name one time where it was better after the break than before. now that i'm older, a lot of ish has been cut out of what i will accept in a relationship. this notion of a break, is one of them. if you are not sure, then you just need to be single … or at least not with me.
" i just wanted to see if i liked guy B better than my current bf (at the time) because we were having problems."
Another example to prove the point. Usually when someone asks for a break there's a 3rd party invovled.
Well… I'll just sit back and observe on this one. I've never had a relationship last longer than 6 months, obviously not enough time to garner a break…
*taking the 15 mins Uncle Sam gives me every 2 hours*
6 months is the max huh? You been using men then eating them up like a Black Widow huh? lol.
Lmao. Hardly. I was young, they were young… and incapable of controlling the wandering eye, hand & pen*s.
I've actually not had adult relationship out of the gray area between friends & partners. Crying shame, huh? #ahwell
The only break I've taken in a relationship is a breakUP. If I need THAT MUCH time to clear my head, work through some issues about you or just plain old not happy, I can't do it with an impending deadline of a "possible" getting back together…give me my free! I don't do timeouts.
"I think we need a break." = i need to sleep with somebody else
nothing else too it……glad somebody posted this because women think we stupid
I'll go against the grain. I know that there is such thing as bad timing. I know it to be a fact. Early diagnosis can lead to a healthy life. If you are dealing with someone and the timing is bad, you can say, why don't we take a break and pick up when the opportunity is better. This might be a breakup, but it's still a break, while saying, we understand the reason for this time away and will revisit later.
Call me insecure or fragile ego'd, but I'll be damned if I go on a break if I like the girl and still want to be with her. I'm not trying to end up like Harry and have her come back to me after she has been pummeled through the mattress by some other dude. Once another piece goes betwixt those walls, I'm putting the walls up between us forever. That's just how I am. And if she lies about it, then she's a liar and that's not the type of woman I want to be with anyway.
You, sir, still do not have a picture. Just that I'd point that out.
slim said that when they got to 1,000 followers, he'd put up a real pic.. i don't remember where i read that though..
I will on Thursday.
ah.. i got it now.. forgive my intrusion.. (cuz that's how i felt when i saw you weren't even talkin to slim).. lol
*bowing out slowly.. AND gracefully*
Girl, you silly. I'm glad you mentioned it, though. I would suggest you to everyone I know (so you can reach the 1000, and we can see your face), but then I'd have to censor myself.
Dr. J, I'll believe it when I see. 🙂
my last relationship was like that.. 4 and a half years.. and dude didn't know how to let it go.. i'm not gonna lie, i was young, so i didn't either.. i mostly just picked fights with him so he would leave me the hell alone..
not like he needed a break, because he just cheated on me while we were together..
i think in most relationships, the man is the one to try that bullcrap… mostly because some of the men i've dealt with are cowards.. and don't want anyone to think badly of them..
i'm a big girl, i can take it..
you tell me you need a break.. that's cool.. but let me just decide it for you.. don't call me no more..
#nuffsaid
that was 2005.. i haven't been in a relationship since..
"i mostly just picked fights with him so he would leave me the hell alone.."
This drives me nuts about women. It's also why I personally think women are more likely to pull that "we need to take a break" stuff. Then again, you did say this was years ago, which conveys a different level of maturity at that time. Ehh, nah, I know women who still pick fights until the man deads it because they don't want to.lol.
yeah, i met him when i was 21.. it was my first serious relationship.. with an emasculated man.. so yeah, it was a little tough to deal with.. especially since my communication skills were lacking.. i'm over 30 now.. (but don't act it).. so yeah, i'm wiser..
he taught me a lot though.. i ain't mad.. however, i DO want my 20's back..
funny story.. whenever we would get hurricanes, he would come over "to protect me" knowing that we mgiht be locked in for a while.. one time, he got all "drama queen" (i was the man in this relationship) and told me he was leaving.. i told him "in the middle of a hurricane?" then that's cool.. i'm not gonna stop you…
he sat in the car, saw the power lines go down.. and came back and knocked on my door 40 minutes later.. "nah ninja, you pulled the 'big and bad' stunt and said you were leavin.. then leave.."
moral of the story: don't say things you don't mean.. cuz i'm not gonna stop ya..
"moral of the story: don’t say things you don’t mean.. cuz i’m not gonna stop ya.." –> co-signature
If you can't work things out TOGETHER…how the hell are you going to work them out APART? wth?
Taking a "break" does nothing except teach you to live without each other.
"Taking a “break” does nothing except teach you to live without each other."
This right here!! AMEN!
that's a good d*mn point Seven.. real good point..
X10 on dat. weneva that "lets tak a break" cum up, thats when it shud end bc one thang thatl mak sumbdy say that is if they found sombdy they are more attracted to &/or jus wana f**k (anything more is jus a complete failure on the others behalf). they mite figure they could be missin out on other fishes wile tryna stick wit u therefore they feelings is goin towards some otha stranga & away from u
CO-SIGN!
"Taking a “break” does nothing except teach you to live without each other."
AMEN…once you realize you're happier and have less drama in your life without them–there's no way you'll go back.
Nothing wrong with taking a break if you have legit reason and you and your partner agree about what is and is not acceptable during the break. Sometimes a break is intended to save the relationship. One person might need time for refelection. Now what if someone else is in the picture? Would you rather them cheat on you in a relationship or admit that they are unsure of what they want and they want to explore other options. I opt for the truth. Truth is sometimes you are not sure if you want to stay with someone. It's kind of hard to figure that out when you are still on the phone with that person everyday or living with them. Especially for married people. Seperation is good sometimes. What yall are talking about is lieing. Telling someone you want a break when you really just want to cheat or break up. That is not what a break is all about. Unless that is the type of person you are. Jesus went into the hills to pray for 40 days. He needed a break. What you do on your break is reflective of the type of person you are. A break can be a good thing if you and your partner agree about what is and isn't permissable on this break.
I just think yall are dead wrong. It is more about your motivation or intention. Taking a break does not me you automatically cheat unless that is what you wanted in the first place. Don't you take a vacation from your job sometimes? Does that mean you want to quit?
Breaks shouldn't be frequent but they are not the end of the world.
Now what yall talkin about is crazy to me. To just say you want to take a break without defining what that means is stupid.
J, you are making a lot of sense over here. It's unfortunate that probably 85-90% of the time, these breaks never work and shouldn't even really happen. But, there are obviously couples who are doing it in order to actually get a break and take time to reflect, as opposed to getting a pass to f*ck around.
It's about being honest with yourself and the other person. Unfortunatley many people are not capable of that.
I'm sorry but you're not going to hold me hostage while you try to figure out whether or not you want to be with me, that's selfish IMO. If you can't talk to me about what issues you have with me (this relationship) then we don't need to be together. You don't get to figure out by yourself on a break what needs to be resolved in OUR relationship. If my brain fixes up in any way that I need to be away from you to figure out something that involves BOTH of us, then I don't need to be here WITH you and you don't need to be with me period because nothing will be truly resolved.
That means, to me, that somewhere in my mind I having problems with you, without you and that I've made up my mind to hash out these problems with you, without you, which defeats the purpose of being able to communicate. Who determines how many breaks are enough before there are no more breaks or we finally fix what we were on a break about?
I’m sorry but you’re not going to hold me hostage while you try to figure out whether or not you want to be with me, that’s selfish IMO. If you can’t talk to me about what issues you have with me (this relationship) then we don’t need to be together.
_________________________________
Actually what you said sounds pretty selfish to me. People are not always sure what the problem is. Sometimes they need time to reflect. I think it is pretty naive to think that you can just sit down and talk through every problem and resolve it before you go to be that night. That may work for some people but not all problems can be hashed out that easily. Who said the problem was even the relationship? Could be something that person is trying to resolve from their past that has nothing to do with you. And they don't have the strength to acknowledge it or articulate it yet. But you so worried about whether that person is gonna cheat on you that you can't even give em the space they need. You acting to protect yourself not the one you claim to love.
First of all, I said nothing about cheating.
Secondly, if you have your own issues it's not fair to ask me to wait on you while you work them out by yourself to quote you "You acting to protect yourself not the one you claim to love." Get yourself together, work your issues out, if you don't think I can help or we can't help each other, there's no reason for me to trust that we can ever work something out together. You have an issue, you want a break, then come back…you have another issue, you want a break, then come back…? It doesn't work that way for me, how many breaks do you get?
Thirdly, no I don't expect us to hash something serious out overnight but darling if you can't talk to me about US, there's no reason for an US. Communication, you talk to me, I talk you, we figure this out together or with help.
If that's selfish, then I'll be that.
What you're saying is all good. BUT these "breaks" aren't always mutual. If one person is emotional invested then being expected to put their desire to work things out on hold, that hurts. Separation is necessary sometimes and it all good when both parties are looking for that, but what happens when a person is surprised with it? A great many "breaks" are due to a single person's internal struggles or wants where the relationship itself may have been on point. Hence, that's why some people end up surprised.
Exactly…they aren't mutual breaks 9 out of 10 times.
I've realized in the past that when one person offers a break and the other accepts, then the (other) wants to break-up or be single. No woman that is head over heels for a guy no matter how bad the relationship is going will take a break. She will proceed to look at you like you lost your mothaf^cking mind or ask you "WTF is a break?"
Nonetheless if I ask a chick for a break its a test to see how dedicated she is to pimping, if she accepts I step. Even though I don’t really believe in tests. Maybe I can say it's a survey.
I've also realized that when people stay in relationships that aren’t working- wait for its end and become passive they have low self-esteem. People with high self-esteem actively find ways to change the relationship or just drop the bomb.
But I do concur that break are for people that can't quite let go. People are unsure if they can find another partner at times or know that some things such as breaks or breaking up will irrevocably change the way they interact with their lover.
(Sh!t U Need 2 Know)
Testing your partner is not cute.
Your last paragraph makes a lot of sense, especially for women. I know a large number of women who are so worried about never finding someone else, that they will stick it out forever or keep doing these breaks. It's ridiculous, to say the least. I'd rather be alone than unhappy.
"Testing your partner is not cute."
you see how it worked out for nina mosley.
"and i approve that message.."
i told my ex.. "don't test me.. i'm outta college.."
and i'll be pissed that you were testing me.. and now there's ANOTHER issue in our relationship that we're gonna have to deal with..
GTFOH!!
absolutely love the random love jones reference.
but hey… it kinda worked. became "urgent like a motherf*cker."
jussayin.
This is the gospel truth and I'm with –>Slim. There is no need for breaks, it's straight up foolishness and a waste of time when I or you could be moving on solo or with someone else. I understand why people go this route sometimes. Personally I had to pull this card in a relationship (I know, b*itcha$$ move) and I think it was just at a point where the 'honeymoon' period really was over, and it was time to dig our heels in to really keep the relationship together and I guess I was not willing to do that but because I cared a great deal for this person and actually tried to break things off first, I resorted to the break route because he begged me to try and work it out.
But breaks really just are a time for that nukka who's been waiting on the side for the first sign of weakness in your relationship aka a break to sweep on in. Guilty as charged, I have gotten shady on a break and ended up dating the guy in the end but it's not something i'm proud of. I should have really put my foot down and ended the previous relationship once and for all.
the one time in my life i was truly hurt by a woman we took a break. in my naivety i really thought she needed time to sort things out and all would be well (if i told you the actual details, i would be called a simp to no end). yes we eventually ended up back together but as things came to light about her actions during said "break" ish just didn't sit right with me. that was the beginning of the end.
i would never in my life do a "break" again. we both know what would happen. while you're doing whatever you're doing, i pretty much know how my end would play out. i would rather just chuck the deuces and be on the next one.
For the record, I'm not having relationship troubles. I've been asked 4 times already. And if I were having relationship troubles, I certainly wouldn't put it on this blog. Thanks.
damn team. the disclaimer though? i've had to go back and edit a couple of my posts on my blog for the same reason. lol
Yeah, it's pretty annoying.lol. This is the first time I had to come back and post something to stop the questions. The regulars should know me better than that.
oh dang.. AND he put it in bold..
Sooo, you going through relationship troubles or something? You know if you want to talk, you can always talk it out with the entire world wide web. We promise we won't tell.
Why would people think you'd put that on a blog? Well, simply because of those stupid people who put their relationships on blast in their FB statuses and whatnot.
I'm considering taking a break in my new relationship. The timing isn't right but I really do care for this person. No, I do not want to cheat but I do want to hang out with other people of the opposite s*x (without the s*x) until my bf figures his life out. It was said earlier that there are diff reasons for breaks & if u just wanna "legally cheat" then I'm against breaks. But sometimes breaks are the only way. *shrug*
How long has your new relationship been going on if I may ask?
We've been dating off & on for about 4 years but we've only made it official a little over a month ago. In that very short time he's moved to my state, had a few deaths in the family & now wants to move back to his state.
4 years off and on. only together for a month (officially) and now you want to break up. not saying that this is the case but he might feel (i would as well) that you are leaving him in his time of need (read: deaths in family, etc) and you are being selfish. it might also be coincidence but that might be his feelings.
Thirdly, no I don’t expect us to hash something serious out overnight but darling if you can’t talk to me about US, there’s no reason for an US. Communication, you talk to me, I talk you, we figure this out together or with help.
If that’s selfish, then I’ll be that.
________________________________________
OK. I can respect that. You are not willing to do a temporary break. So what happens when you take your man to a counselor and he says, "I think the best thing for you all would be for him to have some time to himself." You've already conceded that you do not have the ability to resolve every problem that could possibly occur. I'll give you credit for that. But it looks like you are willing to do anything it takes to save your relationship as long as it doesn't involve time apart. OK. Can't blame you for being honest. May all your boyfriends be mentally stable and swift resolvers of conflict. 🙂
He can have all the time he wants for himself, by himself, if that's what best for him, but trust and believe this is a break up and not a break. Let him heal whatever needs to be healed, hash out whatever needs to be hashed out. If he can honestly come to me and say he needs to be away from me to do that, he can be away and by himself, truly by himself. I don't want to color his decision to fix what need to be fixed within him by being in the background tapping my proverbial foot with arms crossed in the waiting mode and looking at my watch wondering when this break is going to be over, 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years…?
"May all your boyfriends be mentally stable and swift resolvers of conflict."
LOL…one was and is soon to be Mr Smiley Face, so to speak, in a couple of months.
MR. Smiley Face… love THAT! lol
I've initiated a break up. should've been a breakup but it was easier this way–selfish and we actually did still see each other during this break. It was an intense break up and the "break" was hard enough. We eventually weaned ourselves off of each other. This went better than the back and forth, break up/get back together situations I had had before. Every relationship is different.
I agree with J's comments entirely. I haven't been married but I do see "separation" most beneficial in that circumstance than people just needing an excuse to sleep with other people. that's total BS.
To be perfectly honest. A smart couple will actually plan to take breaks from one another. From time to time.
that shouldve said I've initiated a "break". smh.
One of my ex-boyfriends wanted to take a break so I broke up with his behind and he's still calling trying to get back together. Mama always said give a nicca what they want–he got it, but now he wants to come back. Not going to happen.
Tunde-
I can see why you may think that would be a selfish move on my part but trust me its not. The only reason that I want to take a break is because he prefers to be alone at this time due to the deaths in the family. I don't see the point in being in a relationship with someone & they're pushing you away this early on in the relationship (no matter what the circumstances). He doesn't want to break up but I feel a break may be in order since we aren't spending time together due to his state of mind.
well if he is pushing you away that may be the mechanism that he uses you to force you to break up with him. on the flip side he may just really just need time alone. its hard to call. either way, i would be honest with him and let him know exactly how you feel. he may not realize that he's pushing you away.
With the info you provided, I think that's a unique circumstance. And like Tunde said, he may not be aware he's pushing you away. A lot of times when people are stressed or down, they don't realize they're sabotaging their relationship. At the same time, he may need help now more than ever. I've went through the death in the family thing and it messed me up in all sorts of ways for a while. Gotta be careful with how you approach it with him in this context. Ask him what he wants if you haven't already.
Oh yeah, and you should be able to hang out with people of the opposite sex as long as you don't wanna sex them.lol.
Cosign,
I was in a similar situation and didnt really care about relationships n shyt due to family issues. Didnt express it either. So he just may not know… you might want to find the right time to talk to him about it , but ride regardless. Either way be truthful
With this circumstance, I disagree that a "break" is the answer. To me it sounds like you're calling for a timeout due to you wanting attention and his lack of mental presence in the relationship. By all means, you are entitled to some sort of consideration during this difficult time for him, but simply walking away just because homie is having a hard time with deaths in the family seems a bit… ummm.. I don't know. Death is a hard enough thing to deal with, but why include an icing of relationship issues on top? Is it really about you? So if you don't break and he snaps out of it, are you going to throw the fact that he has isolated in his face? People do that… But that'll be low though.
Honestly, it really depends on how long this "pushing away" been happening. Let you said, you two have a long history. Take a break, but the consequences, is that he may feel that you abandoned him. It is a gamble. Why is Tunde saying it's selfish, it's because you're talking about a different type of break for different motivations from what your guy is doing. To him, he has a situation outside of his relationship. To you the "break" is relationship based. I don't know though…
i said that her actions could be perceived as selfish because it may look like she is walking away from him in a time of need. i said this before she mentioned the part about him pushing her away. even if that was the case i still think it could be perceived as selfish.
Good read…When I think about this it makes me laugh. It happens all the time…so true!
Sometimes we go off to test out that "sugar d!ck daddy" just to find out that its not all that sweet…smh.
If you want that new sweetness you should 'take a break' but make sure your break is for a good reason. This one being …. lack of interest.
People may argue…that if you're losing interest…spice things up a bit. I'm not opposed to trying new things to spice it up. But that's NEVER happened to me. Hope it never does.
"It’s authorization to legally cheat"
This is the FIRST thing that comes to mind for me.
I had a negro call for break in the midst of our "thang" and this was around the time that Donell Jones "Where I Wanna Be" came out, o_O ….a month in a half later he wants to start back where we left off… uhh, no homie, someone has taken your place :p
Like, I didn't know what he was doing while we weren't poppin'! PSSHH!
You just reminded me of something. I think being asked to take a break can be rather insulting. Like really Tameka? You don't think I know you tryna get slid into by the guy you been friends with since high school that's been giving you that awful relationship advice. As a matter a fact, he's the reason we in the mess!!!
I never dated a girl named Tameka.
shame you had to add that last sentence.
A "break" sounds suspiciously like the precursor to a "break up". If your relationship is on shaky enough grounds to illicit one, someone should just man up and cut the losses/walk away.
suspiciously like… lol yep.
Thanks gentlemen for the input. This is gonna be a difficult one…we shall see!
you see how well it worked out for Carrie…
they got back together, and she thought they were alright.. til the next morning..
A POST-IT!!
Yeah. This "break" stuff makes zero sense to me as well. Why go through an official non-break-up break? I feel it's a bit disrespectful of the person's feelings. People can handle break-ups, but don't give the idea of separation under some false pretense of romanticism. Regardless of what the person who wants the breaks says, it translates in the other person's mind that they weren't happy with them and don't want to work it out->period. A "break" is much harder to accept than a break-up given the lines are fuzzy.
This 'I want to be with you, but can't' foolishness… I suggest people just take it as a break-up. It'll hurt, but it'll pass.
I want to cosign on this post, really, I do, but there's a part of me that's resisting.
There's a reason that many couples "separate" before they divorce. Sometimes you just need some space to be away from this muhfucca who is a hop, skip and a jump from landing you in
jailan asylum. You need the freedom to do you, and let that other person doeverybody elsethem so that way you can see if the grass really is greener on the other side.For people who have been in long-term relationships, sometimes being alone is a scary concept. Maybe you'd rather jump out the plane for the first time with a damn parachute rather than just hope for the best all on your lonesome.
It's unhealthy, but plenty of people do unhealthy sh*t to make themselves feel better for the time being.
I actually think married couples that separate is different and more acceptable than just 2 people going on a relationship break. That's what I meant when I mentioned it. Living with someone, having financial responsibility, etc. throws a lot more elements into the pot and there really is a dif level of responsibility. So I think I agree with you…
lol…love people that think the grass is greener on the other side…it's NOT…it's typically just brown grass with a green bulb shining on it. lol
EFF A BREAK!!!!
~*Next topic*~
couldn't agree more
I agree whole heartdely with you on this post. I was in a relationship where she wanted to take a break and it completely blew me away. We shouldn't have been together to begin with but I'll take it as a lesson learned. I will say there will not be anymore breaks in my future.
Breaks are for Excuses Excuses to do what eva….. s*x, to see if this other dude is a better fit, see if dude treats her better, Or just to see if she can have feelings for another dude , while loving you Yall do it to So if yall allow it (A Break) Then be willing to deal with what eva out come there is I dont believe in breaks either
I truly agree with this post. Don't lead people on. Just let me know up front what the deal is. It may hurt the other person in the long run, but they're better off knowing so they can move on with their lives.