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Wrappin’ It Up

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"Whaddya mean you're not in the mood now?"

I know her hair isn’t wrapped but I couldn’t resist…

The following conversation takes place between 11:47pm and 11:49pm:

M’Likshawnquan: You gonna take that thing off?

Jane: Damn baby, you getting straight the point tonight, huh?  ::Starts taking shirt off::

M’Likshawnquan: Not the shirt…well actually keep taking the shirt off…I was talkin’ about that scarf.  You in a dream gang or something?

Jane: Not.funny.  Look, I just paid Valencia $85 to relax this sh*t.  You lucky I don’t like sleepin’ with rollers.

M’Likshawnquan: I hear you, but it’s not exactly the sexiest thing in the world.

Jane: Deal with it.

M’Likshawnquan: I gotta grab a beer.  Be right back…

Maybe it’s a good thing I couldn’t find a picture of a woman adorned in a head scarf  because I’m sure there are some cats out there that have nightmares about them.  I’m sure at some point in a relationship, women have found themselves in lengthy discussions with their SO’s about them wrapping their hair at night.  You can explain ’til you’re blue in the face that the small effort of wrapping your hair keeps it looking fabulous and manageable, enabling him to run his fingers through it at his leisure.  (If he can, that is…)  Some men are adamant about not wanting to have their SO comin’ to bed lookin’ like an extra from Set It Off.  The benefits that come from her wrapping her hair usually are of no concern to him.

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The funny thing about the hair wrap beef is that it’s one of those things you don’t find out about until you’ve beat invested a significant amount of time with said woman.  When things first started and you were getting kicked you out after she got her nut weren’t comfortable spending the night, you never really witnessed the hair wrapping saga.  Then you finally started spending the night and she comes up out the bathroom looking like somebody’s aunt.

Ugly head wraps, on the other hand, can definitely be a problem.  Your SO may be fine with the idea of a head wrap, but not so thrilled that it looks like his grandmother’s wallpaper.  Like any other unflattering piece of apparel, it’s simply going to be a turn off.  Fuchsia leopard print is a bad idea for pajamas, slippers and head wraps alike.  Knowing that some men may take issue with the idea of you wearing a head wrap to bed, don’t add fuel to the fire by wearing something ghastly.

As far as I’m concerned, wraps are fine.  No pain, no gain right?  The popular argument against the wrap is that it’s not the sexiest look in bed, but I would hope it take a lot more than a head wrap to send the mood south.  She’s naked for God’s sake! How does that not over shadow the head wrap situation? If it helps, keep in mind that it keeps her hair from flying all over the place while she’s sleeping and waking you up (For all you cuddlers out there).  Don’t panic…it’ll be ok.  There are alot worse things she could to bed wearing.

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Wrap or no wrap?  What say ye? Happy F*ckin’ Memorial Day!

Whether it’s wrapped up or let down it’s getting sweated out,

Comment(71)

  1. ha! my friend and i were having this discussion just yesterday. Even as a natural i still sleep with my satin bonnet,if there is about to be some olympian style nighttime fun then i can see how it isnt sexy but if we just goin to sleep ninja please this twist-out got to last all week

  2. You know the headwrap thing depends on the situation.

    If I know we are about to get it in, then I won't wrap my hair until the deed is over. By then my SO is damned near comatose LOL so it doesn't matter. But over time in a relationship, yeah I'm gonna come to bed with my scarf on, and if at some point in the evening I know we are going to get it poppin, then I will take the scarf off, or it falls off, whichever is faster, but that sucker goes right back on afterwards, I can't be going to work looking like who shot John and Bill! I understand that dudes don't really want to see the scarf, but my ex's have been pretty understanding to the whole situation.

  3. I laughed so hard at this post!!! I switched up my scarf for this reason and to see how my hair does with a net instead of a satin scarf but it's less noticable to me… I think it's better… Me and my SO still get it crackin!

  4. Uuum, I can't relate. My hair is natural and even when straightened, I don't sleep with it wrapped. In fact, when it's straight, it looks really good when I wake up in the morning. It just adds more body to it.

    Back in the day (when I would actually take a man (ok, boy) with braids seriously), my ex would wear a du-rag to bed once in a while. It didn't really bother me too much, but I'm not sure it's equivalent.

  5. hahahaha!

    On the one hand I understand how scarfs/bonnets can be "not sexy" but on the other it's just another part of female upkeep #shrug I'm natural & unless my hair is pressed I don't have a need for the scarfs since I've got satin pillow cases as my bonnet replacement (they always come off anyway in the course of the night). I try to keep the crazy patterns for my head gear to a minimum though lol

  6. Oh Please! I say this is not a problem until it stops his idck from gettin hard 😉 ….j/k

    I don't have an issue with skipping the wrap, I know how to do my own hair so if I have to get up a few minutes earlier and flat iron my isht, sobeit…but I hate gettin up early so he better make damn sure it's worth it!

    Basically both parties need to be able to compromise, if we are about to get romantical I can understand and agree that he doesn't want me lookin like Aunt Jemima but he must understand that when the festivities are over the wrap is gonna happen…best we can do is pick a pretty color/pattern, make it a silk scarf, and learn some pretty and unique ways to tie it so it looks decorative instead of just wrapped up

  7. in a new/potential relationship…i do without sometimes or i put it on after $ex…Because it's sometimes not worth arguing about…one guy i used to see in geneva was like hun, no…i laughed and let it go but when i woke up in the morning with a bush on my head…i was NOT best please and i let him know…he never complained about my wrap again…lol

    So once we are dating it's on…u gotta love me for who i am…i'm a black women who wears a hair wrap to bed.. it's one of those things that even if i fall alseep without it…it plays on my mind and i'll wake up at 3am JUST to wrap my hair….#DealWithIt…

    since childhood i went from full hair nets #NotSexy, to a side net wrap #WasteOfTime to silk wraps #SimplyFab…latter one works and i'm going to keep using it cos i #AintPlayingWithBadHairDay

    so yeah i'm great supporter of the wrap…it makes a difference and i know it's not a good look but it saves £££…men should think about that…

    p.s

    it's a bank holiday w/e for us here across the pond too but we dont celebrate it like yours…happy memorial day all 😀

    1. "it’s one of those things that even if i fall alseep without it…it plays on my mind and i’ll wake up at 3am JUST to wrap my hair…"

      YEP YEP!!! then there'll be the times when i'm REALLY too tired to go looking for the scarf.. and i'm conscious of the way my hair is laid all night long.. i end up sleeping like Regina King in "Friday.." wid mi neck a "pop off" all night…

      *this only applies if i care what my hair looks like the next morning..*

  8. I love this post but I honestly can not relate. Even though I have naturally curly hair I have never had the need to wrap it. The closest I've ever come to wrap it was once my ex, who's from NY, thought I'd look hot with a side wrap and he even did it for me! I loved It, but I never wore it again cuz I could just not get it to stay.

    *shrug*

    I think its super cute when I see females with a wrap out in public 😉

  9. Chile, boo . . . these locs go under a scarf or bonnet every night, lol. If not, I'll eventually have an issue with lint getting embedded in my locs from my blankets and sheets. Is he about to help me delint my hair? I don't think so. Not to mention the friction of a pillow case against my edges(I don't do silk pillowcases b/c they make me hot)? You can't come between a black woman and her edges, LMAO. If all I'm about to do is sleep . . . he'll have to just deal with it. Any other activities may proceed sans scarf but trust that I'll keep it on standby.

    Also, I don't think all guys have this issue with seeing women w/ their hair wrapped up (or pinned/rolled up like the lady in the pic). I feel like coed college campuses and dormitories should have exposed them and spoiled the mystery for them, lol. Then again, maybe seeing the girl you've been eying doing her laundry w/ her hair in pincurls may be an experience unique to HBCUs, lol.

    1. hahaha. the pincurl thing is new to me. in my HBCU time, all the tri-state girls always had the TIGHT doobie pinned up with a million bobby pins holding that joint together. I was amazed at the intricacy.

    2. "Not to mention the friction of a pillow case against my edges(I don’t do silk pillowcases b/c they make me hot)? You can’t come between a black woman and her edges, LMAO." LOL!

      I have locs and I know exactly what you mean.

  10. this is HILARIOUS!!!

    i guess i should thank my lucky stars.. cuz my current plumber doesn't care.. i'm usually the one that brings it up..

    i'm the type that doesn't wanna ruin the mood, and likes to think i've turned the s*xy switch on "high" before things pop off.. so i don't deal with my hair before bed (most of the time anyway..)

    i think it's left over from my childhood.. my mother used to have me going outside in "chiney bumps" or plaits.. and i was mortified.. so now, if my hair is in curlers (yeah, i still do that) or anything i deem unacceptable, no one gets to see me other than those i live with..

    one time dude popped up and i had rollers in my hair.. i felt like Aunt Jemima the whole night.. he kindly told me that they didn't detract from me in any way (liar).. but i JUST don't wanna ruin the fantasy with reality (my purple satin head scarf) i love my hair.. but my motto is "i can bring it back in the morning.." cuz if i want it pulled, then i'm gonna be MAD i got a scarf on.. i'm even upset if we're taking a shower together and i gotta put the cap on.. in the back of my mind i guess i'm thinking, "i look like your momma with this thing on my head.. that's not hot.."

    oh, and i REALLY am not trying to put it on if i'm over your house!!

    *sidenote to drive home the point*

    when i was young(er) and i was sleepin in rollers.. every now and then i'd actually dream that someone came to my door.. i would subconsciously pull my curlers out of my hair (while sleeping) because i thought someone was knocking on my door in real life.. when i'd wake up in the morning, it looked like i was fighting a demon and he attacked my head.. with droopy curls all over the place cuz i yanked out the curlers and my hair didn't dry.. *notcute

    i'm serious wit mines!!

  11. Well, a scarf has never stopped me from getting some nooky. And I'm not taking it off for chexy time unless I'm also starring in a film. Don't worry – I'll make you forget aall about it.

  12. I cannot do secksy time with a wrap on my head. It is not hot and how is he supposed to pull my hair?. Like the Mad Scientist said, it's all about the satin pillowcase.

    This is of course all out the window if the dude is one of those hyper-sweaty types. You know the ones that make you feel like you're in bed with a water slide? Yeah those ones get the wrap, the towel turban, a plastic bag over my head….whatever it takes.

  13. I don't do the wrap thing around my man…..if it looks a little crazzy in the AM..I get it together before he even gets up….

  14. I'm from NY…with that said, before we even engage in s*xual activity my bf's will say: "U wanna wrap ur hair 1st?" Never has been an issue for me. In the summer (& only in the summer)I wear my hair curly so I don't put anything on it, making the scarf a non-issue June-August. Funny though because I don't think a scarf is s*xy so I would def take it off if the request was made (especially if I'm going 2 get my hair done within the next few days). But most girls from NY get a doobie aka wash & set so dudes already know the scarf is an absolute must & therefore act they accordingly. One of my exes preferred me without the scarf because he liked to see my hair flowing while in the act but he knew that was a special treat unless he wanted to cough up the cash for a trip back 2 the Dominicans the following day! Hope every1 enjoys their wkend! 🙂

  15. I'm just wondering when Dateline is gonna see the goldmine in this topic and parlay it into a 17-part series on how we're driving our men into the arms of 2520's because we refuse to let our hair down…I can't wait!!! 😀

  16. Its' never been an issue for me, if your hair being wrapped prior to sexy time is enough to throw me off my game obviously there's bigger problems afoot.

  17. Wrap your hair, and wear a wig to bed. Best of both worlds.

    #OnASideNote

    Please be safe in these streets this weekend folks. Memorial Day weekend has always been fun, but it also always pops off. Don't end up a statistic out there.

    #SBMSuggestion – admins – Tuesday's discussion should be dedicated to sharing your best stories from this past weekend. I'm sure they'll be a few winners…

  18. bwahahaha. I don't even wear a scarf. I have an old Bessie looking bonnet. and I LOVE MY BONNET! hmph.

    but I also have satin pillowcases so some days I just put my ish up in a loose ponytail and go for the gusto. then tie my ish up after he falls asleep. LMAO.

  19. My initial comment is still in moderation. I said a bad word. but I fixed it. 🙂 here it is again:

    bwahahaha. I don’t even wear a scarf. I have an old Bessie looking bonnet. and I LOVE MY BONNET! hmph. but I also have satin pillowcases so some days I just put my ish up in a loose ponytail and go for the gusto. then tie my ish up after he falls asleep. LMAO.

  20. I swear fo gahd if a dude has a problem w/ a hair wrap he's geigh. #NTTAWWT #noshots You mean to tell me that your girl w/ a wrap is not as good looking as the ugly jernt you smashed? GTFOWBS

    1. #Cosign…

      Actually, I would like to see my lady in a head scarf (not all the time)…My Grandpa always told me if you wanna realize true physical beauty…picture a lady bald headed…then the true beauty features will be revealed whether she is bootiful or she fugly…

      Hair can bamboozle a man…smh…

  21. Hmmm… maybe if I had a consistent chexy time partner or didn't involve myself in long distance relationships so much I'd be able to related. Then again, maybe not b/c I ABHOR wearing scarfs. I swear my body temp is like 5 degrees above normal so being hot all night is not the business. I sleep w/ a fan on all yr round, I allot extra time in the AM to do my hair & I have standing beauty appts. Good enough for me. Satin sheets/pillowcases = hell no. Those things are HOT. I know a white boy who told his future gf… don't worry about wrapping your hair I got satin sheets. Cutest thing ever. Lol.

    As far as the post-chexy time wrap, I've only done that once… I be too tired to eeeeem think about it. But I this is all coming from a woman who typically only sees her 'bf' on the weekends, like 2x/3x a month. I gotta make sure I'm 100% b/c most often he lives in another city w/ women who got luxurious locks trying him 24/7. Also, did I mention I hate scarves? Oh, I did? Aight.

  22. I've never had a guy pay more attention to what's on my head than the headaction he's getting. You're spending the night, at some point you're going to see the scarf…period. It may not be on during all the good good, but trust before my eyes close, the fro will be wrapped up.

  23. Unless its' a nooner, I'm looking to put us both to sleep…do what you need to do prior. If I've done you a solid and taken care of business you won't feel like doing it later!

  24. I'm going to add that it depends on the kind of secks we're having. If it's the "we're already in bed and spoonin but before you nod off I got a little sumpin for ya" – scarf stays on. If it's the "we've been looking forward to this all day and the neighbors bout to know my name" then of course, no scarf.

  25. I used to have discussions with gfs about the dreaded head scarf all the time. whats funny is growing up with sisters/mom im desensitized to a LOT of women-stuff, but it's like… you know you aren't going to be JUST sleeping when you get in the bed… eff am I supposed to do with you in a head wrap. Un-sexy!! lolol.

    As I matured I realized that making that wrap come off "the old fashioned way" was a better experience 😉 So ladies, do what you gotta, I aint mad… I may try to swindle you to take it off, but I aint mad!

        1. several ladies have mentioned the satin bonnet. I will NOT twitpic. I know how foolish I look with it on. LMAO.

          but I've seen chicks out here wear them joints to the mall. #trifelife

  26. I'm going to get in trouble for this, but I really hate these black hair conversations, I just can't relate. I've never had this problem.

  27. Sbm massive-wats good! I just got back from a nice trip out to see the SO and this very topic came up. My SO says he don't know why females b using those ugly azz headscarfs at night if they want their boo to lay it on them in the middle of the night…my response- what the hell r u waking me up for couldn't we get down before I fall asleep? Lol but I actually wouldn't mind that mid night action. Any way shout out to SoFlyy my girl speaks truth! I sleep with a fan yr round my temp at night b so hot the SO says they should hook me up to a power grid #foolish. Needless to say tho, since he lives in a different city my headscarf does not even get to see my suitcase when I'm gettin out to see him. That is all

  28. I must say that I LOL'd after reading this post because I usually do my best and play nice about the whole head scarf thing. Out of plain geniality, I'll refrain from the head scarf and tie my hair back in a ponytail and rock that to work the next day*. My "sleep over" head scarf is a black satin one I got from Barney's (can't be mad at that, bruh). At that point, he can get mad if he wants to cuz I'm NOT getting up looking like he could sit me on the t.v. to get better reception. But I'm all for my guy meeting me half way and investing in silk/satin pillow cases. I mean, it's the least he could do right?

    *(only on Wednesday night and Thursday night)

      1. Hey Sane! Thanks. I've been the illest fly on the wall for second. This post spoke volumes to me because it's just one of those things you scratch your head about! #NoPun

  29. I must say that I LOL’d after reading this post because I usually do my best and play nice about the whole head scarf thing. Out of plain geniality, I’ll refrain from the head scarf and tie my hair back in a ponytail and rock that to work the next day*. My “sleep over” head scarf is a black satin one I got from Barney’s (can’t be mad at that, bruh). At that point, he can get mad if he wants to cuz I’m NOT getting up looking like he could sit me on the t.v. to get better reception. But I’m all for my guy meeting me half way and investing in silk/satin pillow cases. I mean, it’s the least he could do right?

    *(only on Wednesday night and Thursday night)

  30. OMG!! For all you brothers who still have a problem with the "wrap" do us sisters a favor and just…just…just… go shoot yourselves NOW. Just PERISH, because there is no hope for you. Sisters who take care of their hair have to work with what nature gave us, and that takes some doing sometimes. But when we are done, we are stunning beauties. Our hair is not wash and wear, and neither was yo mama"s boi

  31. This post was super funny I say, wrap it up!!! Personally I have natural hair, I have never had a perm and when I get my hair straightned I can't have it messed up. But if I am rocking the twist out lets mess it up!!

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