Home Throwback She can do it … but he can’t!

She can do it … but he can’t!


Double Standards are everywhere!

I mean … some of them really suck … some of them are helpful … some of them just …well … don’t really make sense.  Most of the people that complain about double standards … also seem to benefit from others simultaneously.

Double Standards are alive and kicking strongly when it come to the sexes.  There are things that a guy can do … that’s just not acceptable for a female … and there are things a woman can do … that is unbecoming for a male … lets focus on the latter

*break* … for those of you unclear about what a double standard is …

A double standard refers to one class of entities being treated differently from another class of entities, and implies an unfair or unjustified differentiation. Double standards can be applied to many entities including people, groups, and concepts.

cite: wikipedia

So … as a public service to all of those soft, simping, lame, punk sumb*tches misinformed males … SBM presents the Double Standard guide for men … aka … sh*t she can get away with that you can’t.


I think this goes without saying.  Sure if your parent passes, someone kills your dog, you get kicked in the balls, or someone throws sand directly in your eyes (the eyebrows and eyelids don’t count) … then let the tears fly … but otherwise … man up!  Your just not allowed to cry.  Bambi’s mom got shot … man up!  Your girl just left you … man up!  You caught your best friend giving your wife the “bidness” … get the shotgun because its time for someone to die man up!

See Also:  Throwback: The Club Mentality

Tongue Rings

I just polled the world on tongue rings before … and one thing that’s well agreed upon, men don’t wear tongue rings. If they do … they duck sick don’t appreciate the company of women.  I don’t care if its a stud, hoop, or a spinning glow in the dark piece … it does not belong in the mouth of a man.  On women it’s sexy and implies good fellatio kissing … but, sadly … only the first one comes to mind when a guy is doing it.

Temper Tantrum

Men can get mad … that’s our right … under law (as long as no one gets hurt)! But, to b!tch, moan, complain, or generally make a pouty face … is just not hot.  While its annoying as hell when a woman does this, and may be grounds for instant dismissal, it’s kind of expected and understood.  Women can get mad, make all kinds of faces, and I wouldn’t even be shocked if she held her breath until her face turned blue (I’m lying … wtf are ya … 5?) but it’s unbecoming for us to stoop to such levels.

Touching a stranger of the opposite sex

Ever been in a club, supermarket, or church and just had someone randomly grab or rub your chest, a**, side, or other sensitive area.  If you are a guy … you probably turned around thinking “who is looking to come home with me.” If you are a woman … you thought “who is fitting to get stabbed!”  Women can touch, rub, grope, stroke, jerk whatever they want on a man and be well received (unless she looks like she got smashed in the face with the ugly stick) … but a guy will get arrested … or stabbed … or maybe just stabbed and then arrested.  Don’t do it to yourself!

See Also:  The Claim Game Part Deux

Kissing someone of the same sex

I really don’t even feel like wasting time elaborating on this one … but let me make it clear.  Two women kissing = sexy. Two guys kissing = vomit! And I’m not just saying this as a heterosexual male … women I talk to rather see lesbian porn than gay porn.  Two women are just soft, gentle and, well, beautiful.  I’ve never seen two men have relations … but I could imagine some weird naked fight for dominance.  Have you ever heard a woman use “no homo” or “pause”?

Talking about masturbation

Just like same sex kissing … with women its this sensual and erotic moment, yet with guys its just this dirty, yet extremely necessary act.  Its like comparing a ballet to the dutty wine.  Also, if you talk about it extensively around other guys … falls into a “no homo” moment.  Talking about methods, toys, shower heads, and time … sexy for her … not for you.

Putting anything in or near your anus

Ok … I’m really not gonna explain this.  Cool for her … not for him!

I hope this public service announcement helps your average b!tch ass n***a soft guy … in addition to helping some of the women determine a soft lame … from a real break your back, throw you against the wall, and give you a screaming orgasm type of man.

See Also:  Enhancements

– SBM aka I’m a man’s man aka Don’t touch my booty hole


  1. While these are definitely double standards, most of the list are things that the average man doesn't want to do any damn way and temper tantrums are not a double standard. They should just not be done at all… by anyone… over the age of 2.

    I'd appreciate your thought on a double standard on the same level as like men being able to sleep with however many people they want and women being labeled for doing the same.

    1. not to justify this idea, but for men there is an actual accomplishment in bedding numberous women.. any woman can blow any mans numbers sideways.. #triple_entendre

    2. I agree with @SaneN85…

      Why is it that you men can be slores galore, sleep with as many woman and its glorified but when us females try to do the same we are named garden utensils and slores?

      I just don't get it…

      1. It is actually quite simple.

        As a man, I have to put in a considerable amount of effort to bed a women. No its not necessarily a date or "courting" but I am expected to be the aggressor. Woman do not experience this. I bet that men/boys were trying to bed you since you turned 13. This is not the case for men. Because its so easy for women, its not an accomplishment. If I walked outside and PTMO'd and said "I'm a dude w/ no STDs who want this pipe?" How many women would have chex with me? Probably not many. If a woman did the same, she may have to beat them off w/ a stick. #seewhatididthere

      2. @Peyso – I wouldn't even exert the same energy as you did.

        @Lola & Sanen85 – Here's what you do. Go ahead, sleep with as many men as you want to, comparable to men. See where it gets you. I won't call you a slore.

        1. It's not that I want to go out there and sleep with as many men as I can to match my numbers to men out there… I just quite frankly don't understand why it's frowned upon…

          Regardless Peyso does have a good point, if I was to walk outside and tell the world lets practice making babies I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have a problem bedding the men unlike men, I know it would be hard to just say that and expect to have a flock of women be thrown at you, some of them will, but not all

    3. I get the reasons behind the man/woman double standard on sleeping with people (to an extent, and I still don't necessarily agree with it). I know that it is also just the way things are. I get that this post was about what women can get away with, and not men. What I was asking for was a COMPARABLE double standard, because most of these things the average man doesn't want to do anyway.

    4. it’s very simple why that double standard exists…. because women (in most cases) make it so difficult to get them into bed, that it is seen as an ‘accomplishment.’

      A woman who wants to go to bed with *someone* in any given night can do so with little effort. (btw, men who call women “sluts” are stupid imo…why label women for being available? That’s the most stupid thing ever!)

      A man who wants to do the same has to put in work.

      I’m not saying the double standard is right or wrong, just that there is a logic to it.

  2. This is by far one of the funniest post!!!

    Temper tantrums?! By a "man"? LOL

    *side note:

    I know of someone personally that loves getting his "exit only" hole licked, put pressure on, touched, and nibbled and he's straight. He says that when he's about to erupt like Mt St Helen its the best feeling in the world… What do you guys have to say about that? o_0

    1. do guys care to admit that they like rimming?

      an ex of my actually pushed my head that way with no warning at all…i hate anyone grabbing my head forcibly like that and so i tried for a compromise but he was explicit in saying no fingers, he wanted just my mouth there…yeah right! #WhatHaveYouDone4MeLately…

      i reckon if you start that ish with a lot of guys, they wont push u away cos they'll be 2 busy melting like putty

      1. So they like it!!! See that's what I think as well.. I think they actually like to have their salad tossed and fluttered but are too scared to admit it!!!

    2. More guys than you think love anal play.

      And I'm more willing to accept that for a guy than a woman seeing as though the male g-spot is in the a*s.

    3. I'll speak on behalf of the entire gender. I'm going to knock it and haven't tried it. But if a man does enjoy it, I guess that's fine, but he better [email protected] well keep that to himself.

      "That girl I met at the club gave me head last night" = OK

      "My GF tossed my salad before I went to work this morning" = SHO RYU KEN!

      1. LMAO!! That's what I was thinking Hugh… a lot of men are probably just keeping that to themselves. It's one of those unneccessary details in life…

    4. I'm trying to be the biggest freak in the world. But I can't even losen my CHeeKZ enough to let anyone get up in there. And as per my name, I have big CHeeKZ. Real talk, I feel uncomfortable washing my butt… I guess it has to do with going to an all boys school.

      I know a couple of guys who had it done. Some liked it, some hated it. None are dying to have it done again. It was just about smutting a chick out and actually putting someone's daughter's tongue in yo booty.

  3. i left a 34 year guy in April cos he did temper tantrums for no reason at lot of the time..i fought with him more in 3 days that i had everybody else put together in my life over the last 12 months. #crazy

    Something i didnt like was he was fond of changing things up (which he didn’t do well) and inevitably they didn’t work out. Then he’d get very angry; ranting and complaining that the changed plans were a mess #B*tchIssues #Psycho

    Sent him a bbm when i was in LA saying 'i'm too easy going for all this ish…i cant be bothered trying to fix non-issues or placate u and it's time for a timeout'… he read this had another of his tantrums (that i ignored) and then he came back to his senses and apologised. #2Late

  4. i get groped occasionally when i go out. i really don't think it's cool either. you have a mouth that can form words. use it. damn that "who's going home with me?" crap. just annoying.

    1. It makes me feel bad for women when I get groped like "this is what ya go through? why come out?"

    2. A lot of women are unrepentant gropers. They'll pat a pec or grab your butt and continue with the conversation as nothing happened.

  5. Can it really be a double standard if they get away with it most often than not??

    Fun list, but these double standards are a bit mild and happen more often than we'd like it to.

  6. Yeah, this list is mere childs play….I wish you had went deeper with this issue…..(lol) every time I say that somebody replies to " went deeper"…..but, really, you just scratched the surface with this…..I also, think alot of men like anal stimulation….I did it one time with my ex and he almost climbed the dayum ceiling LOL..so, don't knock it until you've tried it……:-)

    Carry on.

    1. Just because it might feel good doesn't mean it's acceptable.

      1st Corinthians 6:12

      Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.

      I like the fact that I tense up whenever anything comes close to my a**. I don't wanna get to a point in my life when my a** is loose and ready for whatever. That's just not manly.

  7. Haha, hilarious list!

    Ya know, the double standards that women complain about are created by a male-dominated society. And that same society probably created the above double standards as well. In summary, it's ya'll own damn fault. lol

    1. This is a simplistic view. Men aren’t the only ones who create this double standard, women often reinforce them too (i.e. it’s not just “patriarchy” that’s involved here).


      The masturbation thing:…. guys don’t really have to hide the fact from other men (because we know that those men who say they don’t do it are lying), but girlrs want to have no part of that conversation, or the knowledge that guys spend alone time.

      The crying / temper tantrum issue: let a guy flip off the handle like women do…he’d be arrested so quickly even if he doesn’t do a physical threat.

      In contrast, I have had friends who *in front of police* have been punched, kicked, etc. by their crazy neurotic girlfriends, and the police did nothing to stop the dispute. But let that guy block one of those punches, and he’d get the “don’t tase me bro!” treatment.

      “Violence” should have been on the double standards list. I’ve seen way too many women hit men, and then try to justify it by the fact that they were angry. Of course no one should hit anyone under any circumstances, but this rule doesn’t seem to apply to women.

      Bottom line: it’s easy to just do the tired outdated “it’s all men’s fault” rant, but women have their role to play in such gender stereotypes too.

      1. “This is a simplistic view. Men aren’t the only ones who create this double standard, women often reinforce them too (i.e. it’s not just “patriarchy” that’s involved here).”

        I said “create”, though. I know women “reinforce” them. Which are two different things.

        I was being kinda not-serious with my post though. (hence the ‘lol’) I know women have a role it in, but ultimately, if not for men creating the “men are superior” theme in society, there probably wouldn’t be a “men shouldn’t hit women EVER” theme in society. You can’t have it both ways.

        And again, I know women are guilty of this too. And miss me with the “you say it’s all men fault” rant, which it’s the same thing men say to women (i.e. I’ve heard it enough recently with the “single women” thing in the media…”it’s all women’s fault”). We all guilty of that. I’m self-aware enough to admit that.

  8. ..Oh, and I don't think anyone should be touching strangers in public…that is just dangerous and plain childish.

    1. Correct… whyyyy in heavens name would I grope a stranger? Now, I'm a touchy feely when I talk to you type of person so I may pat your arm or chest or somn to make sure your listening — it's a habit — but i'm not groping you… and most likely if I'm touching you, I know you somehow… it's not a conversation in line at the supermarket.

    2. if I ever meet any of your ladies I apologize in advance… I love my cheap feels. usually I can keep them away from hot zones but I can’t resist good black skin. must touch. take it as a compliment.

  9. Good list.. I'd have to agree w/ most of it, except the tongue ring. LOL. I'd be cautious of anyman going around flashing his tongue ring like no other, but my ex had a tongue ring & I ain't mad at him. #whewlawd I didn't even know he had one until we kissed for the first time. He's very discreet & he wears a clear ball on it. Apparently it was a trend in his late teens w/ the males where he is from. Lol. I went on a date w/ a guy not to long ago who had one #shrugs. Same deal… got it when he was like 16. My ex is policeman, and the date dude was a firefighter… very manly… <del>also a little YMCA-ish but I digress</del> they weren't faultering or teetering the line in any other way so I let em have it…

    1. "If a woman has a tongue ring, she'll probably suck yo d*ck… If a man has a tongue ring, he'll probably suck yo d*ck." – Chris Rock (1999)

      When was your ex a teenager?

      1. LMAO… lemme see… if he [insert age] now, then he got it 7 years ago. Mind you, I'm only 23 and I tend to date people in the same age range.

        1. @So_FLYY – This sounds like one of them Nola boys. I know them boys had a fad for a few years. (This statement can be grown to include all Gulf of Mexico bordering boys…)

  10. Funny post!!

    As for the groping, I live by the rule "keep thine hands to thineself". If I grope a man in the club, it's because we already decided what's going down after the club. Usually, touching is my way of saying "Its time to go!!" lol.

    As for that picture, those women should be ashamed of themselves. Though, I think the actors in Twilight are all of age… #teamjacob 😉

  11. I don't trust my man enough to put my tongue on his booty hole. Actually, I don't trust ANYONE enough to put my tongue on their booty hole. I know what comes out of there. No thank you.

    I'm with Queen T on this one: I just KNEW you were gonna bring up paying for dates and that dayum plane ticket, lol. Oh well.

    Happy Friday!

      1. I kind of disagree

        on a woman=pornstar and not in any good way

        on a man with a nice chest it is sexy as hell. You can't see it on a woman unless she is topless anyway…and if u can see it through her shirt that's a mess and is trashy.

        Looks good to me on men at the beach –Fim

    1. i think its safe to say men can only have a nose or ear ring unless he is into some kind of death metal or human torture through piercing.

      But C-spots. Nips. Belly buttons. tongues are all a go on a woman. Although I heard in Cuban that place a pearl ball under the skin of dudes baseball bat for increase pleasure for women.

      …. acceptable?

  12. I see the other ladies up there commented on it but many men enjoy the tongue taint tease or "rimming" as someone put it. I understand yall aint supposed to be all loud and proud about it like ladies–but a salad toss is a salad toss. #justsayin some sensations are universal to gender like nipples maybe?

    oh and a tongue ring on a man looks gay (and is kinda played out these days) but they are good for the same things sexually as are they are on woman.

  13. I think women underestimate the power of being able to experiment sexually without being judged… or judged on the level that men are judged.

    If you get tipsy and want to make out with your friend, it's cool… if a man does it, I hope you're ready to put a ring on it, 'cause y'all are officially in a relationship.

    I don't like being hypocritical, but even though I've messed around with chicks, if I found out my SO had tried out dudes, I would definitely be packing my sh*t and leaving.

  14. LMAO @ this list. I love it.

    My two cents on the male tongue ring…

    NAO PODE! You cannot be a straight man and then show me your tongue ring without getting a stank side eye.

    Story– I know/knew this guy who has a tongue ring and in group settings he would try and catch my eye and do some CREEPY ish that in his mind was probably him peacocking and winning by 'demonstrating' how good he could lick this pu**y.

    I almost vomited everytime. WTF are u doing with that in your mouth? You say u have it there to give good head…but I bet it's not a female u're giving head to.If I have to let that thought cross my mind there is obviously no way in hell i'd let u come to me with that mouth. *shurdders*

    Also–sticking out your tongue is never going to turn me on unless u are already down south.

  15. Great list! Can I just add that skinny jeans are not ok for men. and so it was written.

    Although I dont agree I understand why men can do numbers when it comes to chex and not be frowned upon. Imgaine if chicks stop letting you hit…what sad depressed creatures you all would be! Folks should stop passing judgement, strap up and mind their own business.

    Men playing the crying game? major fail.

    The only rim(rims, rimming, ect) im interested in are on the whip! I've have it done once -got caught off guard (or in a state of bliss) eff'ed up the entire grove for me.

      1. Why did I see a dude wearing skinny jeans sagged under his azz with a belt at the gas station? I was on my cell waiting for my car to be repaired – he was on the pay phone and I clowned his azz but good. Then I started singing “What, What, in the Butt” just for good measure.

        I REALLY don’t like this “effeminate” new fashion sense from the fellas. Lookin’ like they’d be Prince’s bytch if it came down to it….smh.

        1. The “skinny/sag” look invaded the DMV a while back and sadly it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.
          It’s usually topped off with a smedium t-shirt, dirty dreads and a fitted cocked up at an impossible angle…

          And FTR, any dude still rockin’ a tongue ring in 2010 is “gayer than 8 dudes blowing 9 dudes” #patton oswalt


        2. Did you say Prince’s bytch? I don’t know you but I like you! lol. THAT right there my friend is gonna get me through the rest of the afternoon. I thank you.

    1. can i say that everytime i’m in a reggae club.. my yankee friends look at me like o_O “dems your people” with the skinny jeans, tight shirts.. and shiny belt buckles… dancing to the “fassy fi dead” song..
      i can’t claim my country no more..

  16. Great Post.

    @hotscott, max & teflon temptress –

    I think the issue with girls putting up numbers like dudes is an issue when a guy is ready to settle down with a girl. If there are a lot of dudes that you two might bump into that “know” your girl, either it will 1) lead to a lot of uncomfortable situations and explanations or 2) lead to lies or secrets between you and your SO because you want to be creative with your numbers of people that you have been with (previously discussed on this site). I think it’s different for a guy, and that is definitely a double standard. It is just the way it is, as I think previous male posters have alluded to. And just as a guy giving advice to the females, I think it benefits to keep your numbers as low as possible for when it comes to down to settle down permanently with a guy. If you don’t plan to do this ever, though, bone away!

    What do you consider skinny jeans? I’m in my twenties, and I’m sooo past wearing baggy jeans that gather up into a pile at the cuff. I Am i wearing jeans with my butt hanging out with a rhinestone belt and a raccoon tail hanging from a belt loop? No. Do I wear fitted jeans, on my waist, that look good with casual shoes/sneakers or dress shoes if I want to dress the jeans up? Yes.

    Finally, the main issue I have from the list is the whole touching thing. It is so true. I’ve had experiences in a classroom setting where a female professor would come and put her hands on me to make a point. She is not a stranger, but at the same time, if a male professor would have done this to a female student it would have been an issue. I’m not sure if the professors were trying to establish some type of dominance thing, but I feel it is definitely a double standard that they take advantage of in that setting to their benefit. I cosign on the previous posters expressing frustration at females that they don’t know being all touchy feely. The same thing goes for males doing it #notcool.

    1. skinny is in reference to how it fits on the leg, not whether they are up on your butt/waist. just tight as hell, hugging all your uhm parts…

      1. If you’re a man and you can’t put your car keys and wallet in any of your pockets then they’re too skinny…

        1. @ Reecie & Eddie Brock


          Definitely have space for keys, wallet, etc. I’m getting the difference now. Just wanted to make the distinction between “skinny” and “grown man fitted.”

    2. HTK-skinny jeans are to men what leggins (jeggins) are to women. In my opinion a mans jeans should fit- the right length sitting ever so casually on the shoe, hit the waist just right so that when the shirt is lifted or taken off just a hint of the highly sought after “v” is visable. Enough room in the in the thigh , crotch area so that things can hang comfortably. In other words no high water, skin tight knutt huggers.
      As far as the numbers thing like I said, I get it just dont agree with it. What makes men think that a woman they are trying to settle down with wants to know he’s ran through a lot of women? No woman wants to be in a salon and have her guy drop her off or come in and pay and begin to hear, “girl thats her man? that ninja can blow a back out!” or “girl that mu’fugga got a motor in his tounge” …yeah thats not cool either. it really goes both ways especially since chances are you aint gonna marry a virgin just know that someone else has boned ya girl/dude.
      Touchy feely? Nope draw back a numb or nurse an eye jammy. I cannot stand to have my personal space invaded. Its by invite only.

      1. hotscott-

        Totally agree with your explanation of jeans – just wanted a little clarification which you more than provided. Thanks.

        As far as the numbers thing is concerned, I feel you on not wanting that info about your man coming out in the hair/nail salon (or anywhere else). I agree that for the most part men are not expecting to marry a virgin in this society, but at the same time, I’d venture to say for a woman to have numbers that are higher than mine or in the same category, is a problem. As long as you get this whole convoluted numbers dynamic, I think that’s all that counts. I understand you don’t agree with it, because it isn’t necessarily fair, but that’s just the way it is. Just consider it as brotherly advice; it’s the same thing I’ll tell my daughter if I’m blessed to have one, God’s willing. It’s not about having some unrealistic expectation that my SO is a virgin, in this day and age, but more so about keeping her numbers down without having to doctor them excessively (or at all for that matter – since this discussion really only comes into play with the person you are planning to spend the rest of your life with and you want to have a base of total honesty). It’s not fair, I might not necessarily agree with it, but it rings true for me, and it is what it is.

        We’re on the same page with the whole touchy feely thing as well. Cool!

        1. You’re welcome!
          Your words are not falling on deaf ears. I think however, people sometimes mistake women having a lot of casual chex with a woman who’s had alot of boyfriends with whom shes had chex with ya know? There are tons of variants and everyone has their own equation for fudging the numbers, Im just hoping people are not letting numbers cloud their view on people.
          Enjoy your skinny pants FREE weekend!

      2. @hotscott –

        LOL for wishing me a skinny pants FREE weekend. I appreciate it and hope you enjoy your weekend as well.

        I feel u on the distinction between casual sex vs. sex with a boyfriend. I thought about mentioning that in my previous comment but decided against it. I think as long as the explanations are congruent with who you are and what you represent, there shouldn’t no problem. But really, how many serious relationships would have you have to have been in to get your numbers to a level that would be a problem for the average dude? Again, if the number is too high, it might indicate other issues that might alarm him – for example, you have a hard time staying in a committed relationship, or you just jump into relationships so that you can have sex and not feel badly about it, which puts us right back where we started.

        Either way, there is not a magic number, but the higher the number for a female, the more problematic it will be when you decide to settle down with the man you want to spend the rest of your life with.

        Pleasure having this exchange with you.

  17. ” SBM aka I’m a man’s man aka Don’t touch my booty hole”

    This at 2am or so had me dying!

    I agree with this list…

    They can keep the numbers double standard cause I don’t want to match the average guys # and I don’t want to be with a guy who has an indiscriminately high number – society in general may not bash men for whoredom but it’s not $exy to me

    And regarding skinny jeans I’m really suprised and disappointed that none of the Jay-Z aficionados took the opportunity to say “Can’t wear skinny jeans cause my knots don’t fit”


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