As with 75% of my posts, this post was inspired by interactions between me and a female friend of mine.
Female Friends (that is a female friend of a heterosexual male that you aren’t trying to sleep with and *heres the kicker* wouldn’t sleep with even if given the chance, unless your both drunk and the titty makes an appearance) are good for a very narrow selection of things:
– Emotional support … because we damn sure can’t call one of our boys talking about our “feelings”
– Insights into why women continually remain crazy in blatant disregard of the rest of society (e.g. men)
– A source of inspiration for male relationship bloggers as we are asked seemingly easy and obvious questions that confound and confuse them
This fine friend of mine was happily in a relationship with a boyfriend that she loved (and I approved of). As with any attractive female, she often found herself approached by men at work, the metro (DC subway), happy hours, and well … everywhere. Specifically, she found men she worked with or had to keep a professional relationship with trying to get at her. So, she came to no other than me looking for advice.
Ms. Defying the Single Black Female Stereotype: “How do I tell these guys at work I have a boyfriend?”
SBM: “The f*? You using up my daytime minutes for this?” *this was before these rampant unlimited minute plans*
Ms. DSBFS: “I’m serious. How do I fit it into the conversation?”
SBM: “How about ‘I have a boyfriend! Get your hand of my thigh.'”
Ms. DSBFS: “I have to work with this person everyday. I can’t just make a spectacle of him.”
SBM: “Call me back when you have something worth my $0.40 a minute.” *click*
To be honest, I am writing this post to see if this is a real problem faced by the .5% of women (according to CNN, Helena Andrews, and Dateline) that have serious boyfriend. Usually I am here to drop nuggets of information and make our gorgeous female fans moist entertain you behind your desk … but I’m just curious today.
Bring it up in casual conversation!
There is something you talk about that your boyfriend likes, has done, or has thought about. When having to bring up my SO in conversation, it is rather simple. Unless your Significant Other is some lame who doesn’t go out, doesn’t have a life, and is in the running for the “Kill yo self” (cite: Three 6 Mafia) designation for not providing any utility to anyone, this is easy. If s/he is this person … kill yo self in order to save yourself now.
You need examples? Really? *sigh*
Him: “So there is this great pizza spot around the corner we should hit sometime after work.”
You: “My boyfriend is obsessed with chicken pizza. Do they have that?”
Him: “Oh sh*t. I got a meeting in 30 seconds.”
Her: “It’s a shame there aren’t more sexy, educated, and employed men like you out there. So what do you usually get into after work?”
You: “The warm goody goodness that lies in between my girlfriend’s thighs Me and my girlfriend have been trying out different sushi spots in the city. Do you like sushi?”
Her: “Is someone hitting me up on Blackberry Messenger?” *walks away*
Him: “Do you have them notes from the meeting?”
You: “Step the f**k off! I got a man and he got his name written all over this kitty kat!!!”
Him: “This is why I date white women …”
BTW … I’m not saying telling this guy you have a man will stop the advances. But I will say for a real man, with a real job, and who isn’t looking to stop his CEO tracked position with a sexual harassment suite … it will work. If you work at McDonald’s and the Asst. Manager is trying to holla … you might need something stronger.
So, was I wrong to dismiss my friend’s question as a waste of time and daytime minutes? Is this really an issue? Is it just me who has had more than one female friend approach him with this exact same problem? How do you handle letting some co-worker, mentor, or other type of professional individual know that your spoken for?
– SBM aka I got unlimited minutes now aka #3 was a joke! #YouMad?