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Are you on your period?

125

SBM: “Hey love.”
The Boo:
“Hey yourself!”
SBM:
“Did I do something? Is something wrong?”
TB:
“Yeah. Did you realize that we hadn’t talked for 18 hours! Weren’t you supposed to call me last night?”
SBM:
“We did talk. I was heading into my group study session. We did have the presentation today.”
TB:
“Why didn’t you call me after?”
SBM:
“I didn’t get home until 4am and had to wake-up at 7am. Sorry.”
TB:
“I just feel like you don’t pay me enough attention and …” *insert Snoopy ‘womp womp womp’ voice*
SBM:
“Are you on your period? You seem really moody?”
TB:
*eyes roll in socket and turn blood red … storm brews overhead* “WTF! You b*tch a** n***a! I’m tired of men thinking that if we as women get angry that it has to be the result of hormones!”
SBM:
“Can you answer the question though?”
TB:
*lunges at my throat*

Fact: Women have periods (except those afflicted with menopause or good birth control) roughly once a month.



Fact: Premenstrual Syndrome (Called PMS) is a medically defined reality.

Fact: “[The] three most prominent symptoms are irritability, tension, and dysphoria (unhappiness)”.

Now, those of you who know me personally and those of you who have been following me for some time know that I am truly a man of logic.  My life is guided by logical decisions that are based on facts and making the best decision given the situation.  Some call it cold and methodological, but to those I say “F*** you wit your overemotional soft a**”.

See Also:  8 Signs Your Summer Fling is Ending… And It’s Time For a New One!

Therefore, when my SO, FwB, or good ol’ jumpoff is acting out of the norm and seems to be hyper emotional and sensitive … my mind looks for answers and explanations.

Did I do something that I don’t normally do? … Not really.  Next!

Did I forget a birthday or anniversary? …. Nope. Next!

Did Barack f* around and leave Michelle and illicit an unanimous out-lash amongst black women? … Nope … White House is solid. Next!

Is it possible … just possible that the monthly fluctuation of hormones is afflicting her personal judgement at the moment and causing her to act in a matter that is out of character? … Sounds like a winner

Basically, I don’t see what the problem is.  We both know that once a month your hormones will come out and turn every man into “the enemy” and every previously irrational thought into “the truth”.  Why can’t we both admit to it?  Why can’t we both realize the effect of chemicals playing “who do we curse out today” on your body?

Why is this so taboo and insulting?  I have spent a lot of time thinking about it.  I have thought about some similar thing that you could ask me and I would get “eye dagger” angry about.  And I couldn’t come up with a single thing … nothing.  To make things worst, as a good boyfriend I may be asked to purchase Midol, maxi-pads, or tampons.  When it comes to getting supplies to placate and handle “Aunt Flow” … then I can talk about it and she is real.  But as soon as I deduce the reason for me getting yelled at has to do with hormones … suddenly I’m a b*tch a** n****a.

See Also:  From Her, 6 Post-Breakup Behaviors to Avoid

This is my public outcry to all women.  This is yet another Public Service Announcement brought to you by the SBM staff.  Please please please can we stop pretending PMS is a myth.  Can we please take PMS out of this “can’t talk about it” status.  Lets get rid of the gag order?

Ladies, explain and educate me and the male masses.  Men, share some tips that apparently I haven’t learned yet.

– SBM aka “Yes baby … its my fault” aka “You sure you’re not on your period, because I think you are!”

Comment(125)

  1. It's true… all of it.. ask away! What you guys want to know?

    I don't know why some guys can't even say the word "period" let alone go on an emergency run to the store. I just don't get it. What's so taboo about it? Why is it always have to be: oh its that "time"? And then they quarantine us and excommunicate us for 3-4 days?

    Not all females suffer from this tho. I've met and have friends that don't get moody or depressed or cramps or become chemically unbalanced for that matter. Maybe its just those with really crazy hormones? #kanyeshrug

    But guys, we're not the only ones… once a month, you too have all of your testosterone all whack, nothing pleases you, we'll seem to nag you more than usual, etc… its called an MSB.

    And it's true… don't give me that o_0 lol

    1. "let alone go on an emergency run to the store."

      Unless it 2am, what's wrong w/ your feet?

      1. I dont hold purses and I don't touch female products.

        If I do I stop existing as a man altogther.

    2. Why is it that men must go on this emergency run? Does Aunt Flow make your legs inoperable and stop you from driving or walking to the corner store?

      1. I wouldn't trust a man to make this run for me. I'm particular about my stuff and if he comes home with the wrong thing when I'm already aggravated it's gonna be problems.

    3. I just think its hilarious that men can't do this. Nothing is wrong with our feet. But I know some females out there that will ask their men to go to the store for them while they are in a fetus position in bed cursing the day she became a 'woman'.

      But, I agree with Max and Reecie, I wouldn't trust a man's judgement with female products at all. That's why I won't ever ask a man to go on this kind of run, ever.

      I still believe you guys get your once a month MSB though. Y'all be moody as h*ll

        1. No it's an MSB…

          Massive Sperm Buildup…

          When you guys don't get laid y'all are as moody as some of the females who get PMDD or PMS…

  2. I ran into this situation with my FwB this weekend. It was her BDay and it seemed like no matter what everything was against her (at least in her mind). Her 'visitor" made everything 10 times worse. That's when you just say "(insert name here), what's troubling you? What can I do make you feel better? And oh yea please stop going at my throat!'

      1. but she was a FwB. He shouldn't have to put up with any of that crap.

        That is suppose to be the beauty of FwB.

  3. this is hilarious..

    i don't really have this problem.. OH, don't get me wrong i PMS.. but i usually give the heads up and it usually comes after that fight that made everyone look around and say "WTF was that about" (chicken… apple juice, etc) then i'll be like "i just wanted to apologize" everyone refers to it as the period-fight…

    i know when i got it..

    and there's been times when i've heard the "your cycle's coming isn't it?" and i'll sit back, examine it and be like "oh yeah.. good call"

    it was all hush hush when i was younger.. but c'mon son, i'm 31.. you BETTER be happy you just got in a period-fight cuz that means that heifer's on her way..

    "congratulations, you are NOT the father.." #nomaury

    1. So, one little comment about your avatar changing on the regular, and you just take it out all together? 🙁

    2. So … you don't have the "problem" but you still have random knock down fights over juice?

      I think you have a problem miss.

      1. I don't have knock down fights over anything, to be honest. I will, however, snap at someone once in a blue moon because I am in a downright foul mood. I will usually apologize within a few minutes after realizing I was out of line. Most of the time though, I'm snapping because they've said/done something stupid (this is when my patience for stupid is at its lowest) or said/done something rude.

        For instance, The other day a coworker of mine (who I already can't stand) butted in my conversation to say some sarcastic comment that was off-base anyway and I snapped at her to mind her business. This is usually more likely the scenario. I did apologize to her later for snapping at her like that (and putting her on blast) because I know she was just trying to be a part of the conversation and thought she was being funny. She had good intentions, and I was harsh to her. See? It took me a minute to get my pride out of the way and apologize though.

        I don't like fighting over anything, it's a waste of energy and I'll always end up feeling guilty because I usually can see the other side of things. There are always 2 sides to a story, and I'm usually pretty good at seeing the other person's. Usually. My ex-husband and I had one actual fight (heated argument really) over the 6 years we were together (we had a couple more after we broke up, but that doesn't count).

        *I'm mad you got me over here feeling the need to defend myself.

      2. when i said "i don't have this problem" i meant, i don't get peeved when someone asks me if i'm on my period.. i still get PMS, but it usually takes about one good fight and i'll realize it for what it is..

        and i hear Sane on this one.. because the reason i'm usually upset is because my brother is takin (read: stealing) ish that belongs to me.. and that includes the juice he said he didn't like!! around my period, i'm on a short fuse.. and the whole stealing of the food bit sends me straight over the edge..

        you see… NOW i'm mad!!

        lol..

  4. Y'all know most women are regular like clockwork…so if u know it is that time of the month and that's why we're being moody…don't say 'oh is it that time of the month?', when u already know it is…yes the sky is blue…so?

    If u know that is why your woman is acting out so u get no plus points for that saying that but u do get negative ones…cos to me it's like u're highlighting the fact like we've got some kind of impairment…but I'm thinking 'this menstrual cycle is something I was born with to populate this earth…to maybe carry his d@mn child…he knows the mood swings come with this responsibility…he knows i can't control it no matter how hard I try…yet this punk has the nerve to open his mouth and use the fact I'm on my period as logic to rationalise my behaviour…there IS no logic to MY mood swings…I'm feeling this ish for no reason cos I aint trying to get pregnant, so back up off me and do NOT try to apply your man logic to this or imma bust something!'

    Like I said we're regular…we can see the light bulb go off in your head as soon as u figure it out…that's good but after that don't say anything… just be sensitive, overly attentive and caring…lots of hugs and kisses…it is just for 5 days or so…but if u can't do that then get the f*ck out of my sight…but know this…I'm gonna find u and deal with u if u do that too..cos we're supposed to be in this together…

    That's all there is to it…kinda simple really..lol

    1. How can you say

      "so if u know it is that time of the month and that’s why we’re being moody…don’t say ‘oh is it that time of the month?’, when u already know it is…yes the sky is blue…so?"

      and

      "he knows the mood swings come with this responsibility…he knows i can’t control it no matter how hard I try…yet this punk has the nerve to open his mouth and use the fact I’m on my period as logic to rationalise my behaviour…there IS no logic to MY mood swings…"

      in the same breath? Now that isnt logical

    2. "cos to me it’s like u’re highlighting the fact like we’ve got some kind of impairment"

      It is an impairment. U bleed from your vajaja and suffer from bi polar disorder.

      How more handicap can one be?

      #disgusting

      #gladimaboy

      and for the record. If men had periods (that doesn't even sound right) we would NOT act the same way. Just b/c you have emotions doesn't mean you have to act out on them. You could show some self control

      1. "If men had periods (that doesn’t even sound right) we would NOT act the same way. Just b/c you have emotions doesn’t mean you have to act out on them. You could show some self control"

        Ok, first let me point out that men do act out on their emotions all the time. If they didn't, there'd be a hell of a lot less DV cases and bar fights. And, don't get me started on how men show their self-control in regards to their sexual urges.

        Also, while I'm of the opinion that people are responsible for their behavior and PMS is not excuse, I still think Dr. J said it best.

        "I’m sorry but I cannot in good faith talk about something I don’t have to deal with. I’ll say these two things and then i’ll peace out:"

      2. @cheekz money – most men cant handle a common clod without renaming it man flu…

        trust me…there is a reason why God didn’t bless men with the gift of carrying a child…the world would have come to a grinding halt if it was men that had to experience PMS, pregnancy or labour pains…y'all aint tough enough to handle it… lol

    3. Ok, so we can't use the logical argument of "your hormones are all kinds of f*d up right now" as justification for your overreacting? That makes no sense Miss.

      And if all the females you know have a regular cycle, more props to you and your friends, because I rarely find that.

      1. @SBM – i can only relate this to me – period or no period i have never called any of my BFs a b*tch a$$ n*gg@…#disrespect

        I’ve dorm-shared in an all girls school and in uni so based on that i can say that a lot of women i know are pretty regular…but not always on the 28 day cycle rule…that doesnt apply to me but I have been able to predict the time to each one since i was 15…

        When it does come i'm more sensitive and less tolerant about the same issues…but my reaction is the same but I just get there quicker….so say in a normal situation he says i'm gonna fix that today and a month goes by and he hasnt then i'll pipe up…but if my period comes around sooner than that and it’s not fixed i'll pipe up then instead…if you want to call that over- reacting then fine…it is what it is

        p.s

        only thing i'm bordering on rude on is smells…my tact completely goes out of the window cos I’m too busy trying not to hurl…it’s cos my sense of smell is heightened on the approach to and during my period so even aftershave that i might have bought for him may irk me…if this is the case i'll say…but i do expect him to remember 4 next time

  5. I have not yet had a boyfriend who had any idea about when my periods were, so that question just seemed like a cop-out to me.

    If your girl is mad at you, here are the go-to explanations IN ORDER:

    A) you f*cked up. (sorry, gentlemen, but usually if she's mad, it's because of something you did in particular that irked her. fix it or quit it.)

    B) she's eternally angry (if she's always pissed off about some bullsh*t or her nonsensical emotions aren't usually around the same time each month, maybe she's just a hormonal type of a broad and you should make a quick getaway)

    C) she's on her period. but usually you'll know if it's because of that because she gets angry about REAL stupid stuff (like the pillows aren't fluffy enough or there are too many commercials on TV)

    Honestly, asking if your girl is on her period is probably going to exacerbate the problem more than help you realize it because she's just going to think you're dismissing her emotions as being a byproduct of hormonal imbalance rather than a legitimate issue that you may have to deal with.

    1. "Honestly, asking if your girl is on her period is probably going to exacerbate the problem more than help you realize it because she’s just going to think you’re dismissing her emotions as being a byproduct of hormonal imbalance rather than a legitimate issue that you may have to deal with."

      I really don't see what's so hard to understand about this.

    2. Since it's pretty easy for most guys to rule out A & B, why is C so taboo? And is it that we are dismissing these feelings as hormonally driven, or speaking to the truth of the matter that you're really not that mad … you just have some chemicals that are enhancing a relatively meaningless argument.

  6. as i type this on my blackberry sipping crown at 2 in the morning i feel like i should go in.

    pms is real. not saying all women suffer from it but it is indeed real. i've been victim of it many of times not to believe in it.

    mood swings and the blame game for no apparent reason. not cool. the sudden change in behavior. not cool.

    will pms ever be something that i will get used to? probably not. how can you? it's like dealing with a woman with multiple personality syndrome. again, not cool.

    end rant.

    1. truth be told we never get used to it either. we just learn how to go with the flow no pun intended.

      1. Agreed. I try to give warning…but that ish catches me off guard too because it doesn't surface everytime my "friend-girl" is in town.

        Sorry..I also try to keep to myself when I know it's brewing. I'm already quite fickle, no need to complicate things more.

  7. Just another fact men should consider: Women who live in the same household, or in constant close proximity with one another will begin to "sync up" where everyone has their period around the same time (I'm sure there's some evolutionary explanation for this, but i don't know what that explanation is). If any of you ever get married and end up having a lot of daughters, well…..

    And is it just me, or do women who take the birth control that allows them to have their period only 4 times a year, have worse cases of PMS than average? I had a roommate who used this form of birth control and she would just fly off the handle. I just think allowing all those hormones to build up for 3 months and then unleashing them, is a recipe for disaster.

    1. We sync up b/c of pheromones hence the reason why i am lovingly splitting from my sisters and moving out. I can barely take myself and my attitude let alone to other grown women. As for the pills, I had to ask a doctor why I was not experiencing the no cramp benefit from the pills. I learned to take the pills for the other benefits #nokids.

    2. it's an evolutionary thing..

      women sync up because it the early days, a woman was considered most beautiful (and desireable) when she was on her period..

      if 1 woman was on it, she would get attention, thus leaving the rest of the women looking forlorn (i imagine).. as time evolved the other women (not liking the competition) would get their period too.. "if you look sexy, WE ALL gon look sexy"

      i can explain this so much better than i'm typing it..

      but i WILL say.. i have a friend with an irregular period.. sometimes it comes twice a month.. and i could be around her for 1/2 an hour and have my period come the next day.. two weeks early..

      there have been too many "are you on your period cuz i just got mine" angry phone calls..

      yes, women are conniving… lol… it goes back from the early days..

      i'm SURE MIMITW or Peyso can explain this much better..

    3. the syncing thing is CRAZY! never experienced it before until I pledged. I was on DEPO and not even supposed to get a cycle…and the stress combined well, yeah, I ended up with one anyway. *sigh*

  8. For some women, PMS is a serious deal and they can't just turn it off b/c it makes you feel some type of way. It's best not to broach the topic when you suspect she's on her period/PMSing. That's like asking to be verbally or physically mollywhopped. Save it for one of her more amicable moods. Turn it into a joke or something, I dunno. Bait her a little bit until she brings it up. I'm terrible at scenarios but a quick "Babe, you doing alright? Last week you seemed a little upset, is everything okay?" may work. Hell, it would work with me. Hopefully by that point she's no longer in a funk so she may be a bit more forthcoming about what was wrong even if it wasn't PMS. It it was PMS, make a mental note of the dates and remember them for next month.

    Anyway, if you care about her and you think it's an issue that's disrupting her life more than just a few moody nights at home, then she may need some professional help and, in that case, you'll want to be her support system. It's not easy admitting that you have a problem. And, on the other hand, sometimes just being on your period itself can kind of bum you out. Not so much PMS but "damn, not this again." In that case keep her stocked with Midol and some on cue backrubs.

    As for me, I don't suffer from PMS. I don't know why but I'm thankful, lol. So, don't just jump to the conclusion that just b/c YOU haven't done anything to piss me off that it must be PMS. Other things occur in life as well that may just so happen to irk me. If a guy asks me if I'm on my period, I'll probably give him the side eye and a snide answer. Not b/c I'm mad but b/c he needs to eliminate that option from the list and never ask me again. I'm also not the kind of girl to say "Nothing" when you ask me what's wrong.

  9. I agree with Shubby Doo…say nothing. Give her some space, or cater to her, whatever works for the two of you.

    I think some women fly off the handle when guys mention it, not because we're "PMS'ing," but because men will never know the full experience of a period. So to discuss it as if they know anything about it, is blasphemy [to some women].

  10. Yes, women suffer from PMS but some have it worse then others…and if you know you get moody (like we do) I try and do a self check…you don't have to let the moodiness take control over your life…..

    I find that most of the time when a man has asked me "If I am on my period" regarding something I may have said…I wasn't on my period….I was genuinely irked!

    Men, please stop asking this question..if we are or aren't on our periods..this question will not be met with the response you intended..it will exacerbate the situation.

    I wish women had something to blame your intense moodiness on MEN..but alas, we don't. *sigh*

    I'm actually on my period….but as you can see my response isn't that bad..is it?

    Carry on.

    1. LOL – tell 'em Queen T!

      If men had periods, the entire time would be covered under sick leave. Tampons, maxi pads and Midol would be free.

  11. When I lived with my ex-dude this was a serious problem. Ordinarily I'm a very chill person – I rarely get angry and when I do I tend to seethe in silence rather than get loud on my dude.

    But every once in a while he would start to irritate the sh*t out of me…everything he said was just so wrong I wanted to punch him in his mouth. I would try my hardest to stay calm and then all of a sudden I'd be flying into this insane rage because he left his dinner plate on the counter instead of putting it in the sink or some sh*t like that. He'd be looking at me like "who the HELL are you?!?" but you couldn't tell me I didn't have a right to be steaming over that plate. Then an hour or a day later I'd clue in to what was going on and come to him with "I'm sorry. I didn't realize I'm PMS'ing".

    He always knew long before I did though so once we made a deal that when he saw the crazy brewing he would give me a gentle head's up – hey I think it might be that time – so that I could govern myself accordingly. That experiment did not go well. At all.

  12. I think all of the ladies covered it. I know for a fact I suffer from pms the thing is I can never gauge how severe it will be until it happens. I am one of those lucky ppl that while regular the intensity varies. If your with me I'm honest about my nasty attitude and you will be safe from my wrath if you follow some simple rules. 1) I hate stupid ppl on a regular basis. When I am pms I hate them even more. Don't be stupid. 2) If I ask for something like a specific food just jump over mountains to bring me what i want. 3) No backtalk. If I asked/say something that seems snippy your best bet is to say yes baby and keep it moving. 4) Don't ask me if its that time of month. You should know my cycle as good as I do if not better so why ask a stupid question (refer to rule #1). There are more rule. Too many to name but the ones that I have listed are the most important ones. The other rules can vary month to month. Basically, if you are a heterosexual male and dealing with a woman pms is a fact of your life. Suck it up and deal with it especially if you are not trying to become a father.

  13. Fact: Men are bad at reading signs.

    Fact: Women give many signs.

    Fact: If men read and responded to everyone, we'd spend all day reading and responding.

    Conclusion: Men ask about periods to discern which requests are legit and which ones are BS.

    I understand that PMS is real and uncontrollable. However, expecting the world to evolve around you b/c of something that's going on w/ your insides is BS. I feel that I have a serious inclination to smack folk, however, i cannot go around smacking folk w/o repercussions. The world doesnt operate in that manner. So yes PMS all you want but do remember that your actions may have consequences.

    Good thing about periods…. The increased libido.

    1. The problem is that, "are you on your period?" shouldn't be your go to question when things don't go as you expect them to go. That's foolish.

      Now again, PMS is real. BUT some men use this question as a light weight slap in the face, when in reality there is a problem that they aren't willing to address or consider.

    2. I heard of a law case when I was in an undergrad law class, where a woman got a plea deal for probation or a reduced sentence w/ the DA b/c she assaulted someone while on her period & she had proved intense PMS. I think it's called PMDS when it's that severe. So yes Peyso, in fact we CAN go around smacking people b/c we feel like it. Lmao.

      1. Pre-menstrual Dysforic something or another…

        It's real. And it's really bad. I have a friend that suffers from it and she gets EXTREMELY depressed. She shuts down. It's sad though, because there's not much you can do other than pop a pill that MAY work. But it is a recognized condition.

      2. *sigh* my primary care doctor (a man) told me this is what I had and proceeded to write me a prescription for Prozac…our Dr – patient relationship changed that day.

      3. I wouldn't go around bragging about this. Sexist men will use this as an excuse on why women shouldn't be in a position of power, ie President.

        1. That's fine, they can argue all they like. They helped elect Bush…TWICE. Their judgement is flawed.

          And there are PLENTY of men that suffer from very similar conditions. The issue is there is no documented excuse for their actions. Unless you count Diddy's b!+chassness. Hmph.

          @hotscott

          That sucks. Sorry. 🙁

  14. SBM,

    I feel your pain my brother. I have been trained for year in the science of PMS-ology.

    For men that grew up with sisters/female cousins you should be well in tune to a woman's cycle. Growing up with my sisters and mom in the same house, I have gained awareness and have been desensitized to the whole period craze.

    Name hit the nail on the head with the phenomenon of women "Syncing" with their periods. I call this the "Menstrual Plague". If you are outnumbered by the women in your house, evasive action is recommended.

    I have the uncanny ability to decipher and determine when a woman has her period. Its pretty easy if men would pay attention to tell-tale signs:

    1) A womans face breaks out suddenly – If she complains about breaking out, and getting random bumps, that means nature's gift and curse is emminent

    2) A sudden change in her NORMAL temperment – If you have a grasp on a womans overall personality, this is easy. You can see a shift in the way she communicates, acts, comments, and reacts to situations. You have to have a body of evidence though, to make that determination. One random irrational act can be an outliner. A set of deviating actions screams Auntie Flow is in the MF building!! You can ask some of my female friends/family: I can even tell online when you're on your period if I know you like that!

    3) Frustration – Whether she's mad that its on her way because she hates cramps, or because of the other side effects of PMS, she'll display an increase of frustration one way or another. Once again you have to be in tune to her feelings.

    I also think that men can come out and say "youre on your period" just gotta know how to say it, and don't abuse it! If you think she'll flip out, then just proceed with caution, be mindful of her heightened sensitivity, and do the Maury dance that another month has passed without pregnancy.

    Namaste

  15. As the ladies have said, asking a woman who you suspect to be on her period, 'Is she on it?' b/c she is acting 'outrageously' could go 1 of 3 ways. However, 2 of the 3 are bad… I'm risk adverse so I'd advise you not to do it.

    1. She could be on her period – realize her mood is funky & apologize.

    2. She could not be on her period & take your d@mn head off for asking. <– major faux pas

    3. She could be on her period & take your d@mn head off for asking.

    Reason #3 is the one that most men have issues w/, but when a woman is irked about something on her period she feels that she geniunely has a reason to be upset. The thought process isn't… ok that upset me, am I upset b/c I'm bleeding? O_o For some reason, this week that little thing, w/e it may be just tap danced on my last nerve & I'mma about to tell you bout me!! Lol.

    I didn't start w/ the whole mood swings thing personally til about 2.5 years ago, and I still think that it's a result of being home from college. I'm already on edge… I try to check my wrath but the people I feel the worst for are my co-workers. You don't just go around announcing Aunt Flow is here at work so they have no rhyme or reason to expect the wrath that is my hormones when pee me off as they always do. Ah well.

  16. F*** a Period! No one hates that shyt more than women! Is such an inconvenience, and for some women when *auntflow* is in town is when they are the horniest. What kind of bull is that? I cant fck or masturbate when I want to do it the most!?!?!? The Nerve of that btch!!!

    Personally I purposely keep to myself at that time. No one wants to deal with a btchy or moody person. And I am lucky 3 Days Faithfully and that btch is gone!! When my female friends get it, ugh I have to listen to long hours of "Do you think am beautiful?" BS bc girls start thinking they Ugly! Shyt is not cool!!

    If u been dealing with someone long enough, you know when she is on her period! it comes every 3 weeks nucca do the math!!! Granted some girls are irregular, but you better do the math too and pay attention! Please Please stop asking questions like "Are u pmsing" every time u get cursed out! No I am not pmsin, I am simply pissed off at the fact that ur a lying as nucca who cant keep it funky.

    Instead why dont u find out when she is going to get her period so u can leave her fav ice cream and run for cover!

    Ladies, if u know ur pms is OD and borderline unbearable please excuse yourself! Do us all a favor here!

    Love
    M.M.V.A. aka Thank Me later

  17. I don't know about you folks but, I live in a 'no excuses' household. I believe PMS is real, but, regardless of that, in my house, there's no excuse for rudeness or exaggerated irritability. If I've done something wrong, I know it and will hold myself accountable for it, regardless of whether you noticed it just before Aunt Flow was about to visit. By the same token, if I haven't done something wrong, and you have an attitude because she's on her way, when she leaves, you need to apologize.

    This to me, is the best way to approach it in a serious relationship. No excuses for either of us – not even biological ones. Consider this, right now I'm capable of, and actually desire se_ual relations like 3 to 4 times per day. That's 21 to 28 times per week. Now, if we end up actually rocking out 3-6 times per week, you don't see me complaining or using that as an excuse for why I didn't take out the trash. The trash still has to get outside somehow… no excuses.

    Lastly, another way to combat this is to have general house rules. In my household we don't use profanity, and there is no yelling, those things are not even options. My wife raises her voice every so often, and when she does, she knows… conversation done. We've never had a "yelling match". And neither of us have ever used profanity at each other. You'd be surprised and how much that helps keep things peaceful – it makes it so that your worst arguments are as bad as some couples normal arguments.

    1. I don't Co-sign Most Interesting often… but this is getting a co-sign.

      Accountablity is key to being a decent human being. If you make excuses for yourself it shows poor character.

    2. "And neither of us have ever used profanity at each other."

      this is a pet peeve of mine. if we are in a relationship with each other DO NOT curse at me. i see that as a lack of respect. if you curse in conversation, fine. i know i sure do but i will try my hardest not to curse at you and i expect the same level of respect.

    3. I wanna add my cosign here. I've never been a fan of excuses, I once got reprimanded at work for calling out girl in her 3rd month of pregnancy for using it as an excuse and got written up for discrimation against pregnant women (girl was just being lazy really, and my boss was too afraid of a lawsuit to step on her toes). I don't believe PMS is a good excuse either, and if I ever irrationally go off like that, I will apologize.

    4. @MostIMitW i 100% agree with the no profanity rule… i dont understand how people who say they love each curse each other out like that #wrong…i wasn’t raised that way…period or no period, i have never done that to any of the men in my life and it has never been done to me…#unacceptable

      if, day to day, your woman speaks to you without the need to swear, it is very unlikely that when she is on her period she’s gonna start behaving like she's developed tourette syndrome; by cursing u and everybody out.

      as far as i'm concerned all the men here saying women on their period wild out and start cursing (by f*cking and blinding) already tolerate this as an acceptable part of their relationships…so you can:

      1)l eave her

      2) explain to her it's not ok and work together to ensure that the use of obscene words can no longer ever be part of your relationship

      3) STFU and deal

  18. I don't get PMS, I am perfectly happy to be pissed off during any part if the month I want. And let it be known that men have PMS too. I have been around men that act extra pissy for no apparent reason. You know what I do, throw up the peace sign and bounce. If I can't do it, then you sure as hell can't do it.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate

    Tiffany

    1. I'm going to need people to stop labeling Male B*tchiness as PMS. Just like not all of women's illogical moments are brought on by PMS, you can't just go around calling everything PMS now.

  19. Shubby doo: “If u know that is why your woman is acting out so u get no plus points for that saying that but u do get negative ones…cos to me it’s like u’re highlighting the fact like we’ve got some kind of impairment…”

    Umm, you DO have some kind of impairment.

    Word of mouth: “Honestly, asking if your girl is on her period is probably going to exacerbate the problem more than help you realize it because she’s just going to think you’re dismissing her emotions as being a byproduct of hormonal imbalance rather than a legitimate issue that you may have to deal with.”

    Umm, her emotions ARE a byproduct of hormonal imbalance.

    Sorry ladies, you can’t say “my period makes me insane, so deal with it”, then say “you act like there is something wrong with me”. Your periods make you crazy. We know this. Every once in a while, we have to point that out. After all, if you are going to be snapping on us when Aunt Flo visits regardless, we may as well point out the fact that you are completely irrational for doing so.

    1. "Umm, her emotions ARE a byproduct of hormonal imbalance."

      Hugh, if you are having to ask if she is on her period, then you don't know for certain that she is. Therefore, her emotions MAY BE a byproduct of hormonal imbalance, but you could have also just pissed her off. Also, she could be on her period and have heightened emotions, but you could also have very well deserved her anger.

    2. Sane: “Hugh, if you are having to ask if she is on her period, then you don’t know for certain that she is. Therefore, her emotions MAY BE a byproduct of hormonal imbalance, but you could have also just pissed her off. Also, she could be on her period and have heightened emotions, but you could also have very well deserved her anger.”

      I agree with you 100% if the guy actually did something to p!ss her off. However, I was referring to when the menstruating woman in question would get upset when the man did nothing to anger her directly. Por ejemplo:

      Nick L Odeon: “but i usually give the heads up and it usually comes after that fight that made everyone look around and say “WTF was that about” (chicken… apple juice, etc)”

      Word of Mouth: “she gets angry about REAL stupid stuff (like the pillows aren’t fluffy enough or there are too many commercials on TV)”

      Max: “I would try my hardest to stay calm and then all of a sudden I’d be flying into this insane rage because he left his dinner plate on the counter instead of putting it in the sink or some sh*t like that.”

      The dinner plate is the only legitimate reason to get upset out of these examples, and even that doesn’t justify an “insane rage”. We really y’all though, that’s why we put up with it! We just love you more when you're not emotionally compromised.

    3. @hugh jazz – no it's not an impairment – it’s a function of evolution pure and simple #dontgetittwisted

      i still function ok…i work, pay bills, go out, travel etc…Society doesn’t allow being on our period to equal an automatic carte blanche not 2 meet our normal commitments…and rightly so…

      personally, i'm just a little more sensitive and a lot less tolerant about things i cant nothing stand… basically it’s takes a lot less for me to snap but the fall out is still the same so I try and keep to myself more rather that subject others to my lack of temperament…it’s a no win situation cos then I get accused of being overly moody and non-talkative.

      If your women uses her period as an ‘insanity plea’…imho that’s wrong…it could be a strong signal that she’s got some serious crazy in her that is just waiting to get loose #PsychoTendencies… i suggest you sleep with one eye open!!!

      1. I don't think you're crazy; we all have a short fuse when we are irritated. I just raise an eyebrow when people justify their behavior when they are irritated.

        But they girlfriend isn't so crazy I need to sleep with my eye open. If it gets to that, she gotta go! I've never did this before but #noAlGreen

  20. Fact: Premenstrual Syndrome (Called PMS) is a medically defined reality.

    It definitely is, but I believe a grand secret of womanhood is it's as widespread as some women try to make it. I know and have dated too many women who you would never know it was their time-of-the-month if they didn't tell you. I think too many women use that as an excuse for not having to rein in their emotions.

    1. I'm on of those women who doesn't have PMS (I get random cramping every once in a blue moon, but that's it), so I can't really relate to all of this. However, I do get a little extra bitchy when I haven't gotten any in a while. I've had to apologize for my snapping at people more than once due to this problem. I can imagine that PMS is on the same level, probably worse.

    2. This is a whole other post on its own. There are a subset of women out there happy to decimate the "good" name of this medical condition and just use it as part of an apology.

      But that's a whole new topic … which causes more man-rage.

  21. I'm sorry but I cannot in good faith talk about something I don't have to deal with. I'll say these two things and then i'll peace out:

    (1) Men have a period too, it's called "when I got to pay bills and ish." I don't know about you guys, but I get so irritable and grumpy when i'm spending large sums of money that it's rough for anyone to be around me.

    (2) Men who act like they're upset when a woman is on her period are tripping. Around here we call a period, "a good look." It means she's not pregnant.

    1. For FwBs and JOs periods aren't that big of an issue.

      For the SO (where you know the Birth Control practices a little better), a person you have to deal with everyday through thick and thin … then Aunt Flow becomes the most hated non-person ever to walk the Earth.

      1. … then Aunt Flow becomes the most hated non-person ever to walk the Earth.

        I don't know. Uncle Sam gets my vote. I hate his top hat-wearing a$$.

        1. I would like to nominate Sarah Palin for this newly formed worse than a period award.

  22. it is real. I would never ever consider it a taboo subject because seriously its some real sh*t. thing is lots of times we as women know when happening but still can't control the emotions…I'm not offended when/if a man asks me am i on my period because I'm acting nuts…especially if I am! LMAO

    1. THANK YOU!

      Now that you are onboard, all we need to do is get Oprah on the team and get an open letter drafted for her show, magazine, and generally the internet and finally we can get some Change happening!

  23. I don't get crazy PMS. My emotions and attitude are pretty even-keeled throughout the month. I have physical PMS symptoms, and I hate those more than any emotional symptoms.

    I think a lot of women use PMS as an excuse to act insane. Don't get me wrong, I know PMS is real, but I also know women who act crazy toward people, then say its the PMS. I say eff that!!. I've been known to call a friend out for acting crazy and irrational just b/c she's on her period. There's no excuse for abnormally bad behavior.

    1. I'm in the process of putting a law on the books to properly punish women who use PMS as an excuse to act out. I think true PMS sufferers shouldn't be tarnished.

  24. Just out of curiosity, does the irrational behavior stem from the pain caused or something else? One girl told me her periods are so strong it felt like knives were stabbing her up.

    I know if I was going through some -ish like that I'd be pretty crabby too… :0(

    1. it could be the pain–you know the ovaries twisting and the uterus contracting. the back cramps, the headaches….it could be the overall fatigue that comes over you–but the emotional side is just that, emotions. its a hormone imbalance. it varies for each woman.

      if you think periods are bad, I heard pregnancies are worse!

  25. The worst part of this PMS stuff is that ppl rarely apologize. Its bad enough that you get these outbreaks but then you dont apologize either?

    1. I was going to say that is something specific to the individual you're dealing with, and then I tried to think of one time someone apologized when they were extra b*tchy because of their period. Then again, I'm sure the woman I know aren't really normal in any way.

  26. Okay, well being on my period doesn't give me leeway to curse, lose my cool & try and bite someone's head off (pause).

    When I'm "getting my walls painted", the most I'll go through that will put me through the roof is when I start getting those daggering cramps. Shxts hurt like a b!&c#! and I canNOT take it. During those times, [because I know if anyone tried to touch me, I'd kill em] I just like to be left alone. I'm like a pupa-to-butterfly once a month. Leave me in my cocoon before I come back out to reveal my regular pain-free, beautiful self ^_^

    PMS and period days can go by very quickly with me. You won't even know what I'm going through. And emotions and hormones stuff? I'm close to fully accepting that women [for the most part] are stuck on emotional. 60% of the time, it's true everytime (if you catch what I'm throwing)

  27. Sheeeit, if y'all think the period is bad wait till your girl blesses you with a child – aka 9 Months of PMS, lol. And if you're really lucky she'll have twins and twice the hormones/fatigue/back pain/nausea of a singleton pregnancy. *insert evil laugh here*

    Based on the valiant way I've seen most men handle a freakin COLD (down for the count, whiny, milking it for all it's worth) you all couldn't handle the worst of PMS. Now, most men are brave when it comes to external issues, but you are simply unable to handle the "enemy within".

    So basically, next time your woman is acting a fool and you know it's about that time, just thank your lucky stars it's not you, throw a Snickers ice cream bar at her as a distraction and flee to your single boy's house.

    1. "Based on the valiant way I’ve seen most men handle a freakin COLD (down for the count, whiny, milking it for all it’s worth) you all couldn’t handle the worst of PMS."

      Women dont get this. This isnt b/c we cant take the "pain". Its for payback. We're doing exactly what you said "milking it for all its worth". Women can whine and complain whenver they want. I need a legit excuse to do so and finally a cold comes.

    2. Sheeeit, if y’all think the period is bad wait till your girl blesses you with a child – aka 9 Months of PMS, lol. And if you’re really lucky she’ll have twins and twice the hormones/fatigue/back pain/nausea of a singleton pregnancy. *insert evil laugh here*

      You really are evil! Why is it that when I read that, I saw lightning flashing behind your avatar?

      Based on the valiant way I’ve seen most men handle a freakin COLD (down for the count, whiny, milking it for all it’s worth) you all couldn’t handle the worst of PMS. Now, most men are brave when it comes to external issues, but you are simply unable to handle the “enemy within”.

      I don't know about this. Most men I know could be extremely sick, and will go to work and not even mention it. Maybe some men whine to their woman about it when they get home, I just don't observe it with most men that I know.

      So basically, next time your woman is acting a fool and you know it’s about that time, just thank your lucky stars it’s not you, throw a Snickers ice cream bar at her as a distraction and flee to your single boy’s house.

      Nestle's Flips in my situation. Either that or my homemade brownies, and I can keep her under control.

      1. Bwahaha! Oh Hugh, if only you knew….

        You can be the victim of the woman going through all these changes…..or you can be the poor woman going through all these changes. Pick your poison.

        Did you say homemade brownies? You are a prince among men.

        1. Brownies with the caramels and pecans and all. They balance out the girlfriend's hormones quite nicely.

          The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. The way to a woman's heart is through sweets.

  28. So I don't normally comment just snicker and lurk from my desk, but this post made me break my silence because it is so true. I hate that time of the month because one of two things happen, either I get super emotional and angry that my "Buddy" runs for the hills or I get super horny and well let's just say Buddy sticks around then.

    But PMS is pain for all parties involved so I have to say sorry for all the fellas who have felt the fury of a woman going through this.

    Sidenote: I also credit PMS as one of the reasons I dislike the Iphone. I had an ex who had an app for calculating a woman's cycle so he knew when I was about to change. Something about that never sat right with me, but the app was quite accurate; hence my dislike because any phone that can calculate my trip to crazy land that accurately is dangerous in my mind.

    1. " or I get super horny and well let’s just say Buddy sticks around then. "

      I have dual emotions about this. On one hand I'm happy for your buddy. On the other hand, I just threw up in my mouth.

      real talk, I don't even like head from a girl on her . (see what I did there?)

      1. *dusts off Cheekz corner seat and fluffs cushion*

        You know what time it is.

        How's the rock search going?

        1. I would rather sit in the corner than be around a bunch of crabby hormonal animals.

          **grabs cap and marches with pride to his throne**

      2. Let me rephrase I get real horny before aunt flo once she arrives there is absolutely no parting of the red sea (that's disgusting) Sorry to give you such pain!!

    2. Thanks for finally commenting and welcome! Don't listen to CHeeKZ. Something tells me if it had been long enough, he'd start considering it.

  29. So my only question is what excuse do men give for acting all out of emotional whack? I'm not an emotional person to begin with and I dont get any type of way during that time of the month except for horny.

    I will however take a large offense to someone asking me if I'm on my period simply because they can't find an explanation for my mood. That reeks of laziness.

  30. It should also be noted that if a woman is on birth control – that can have adverse affects on her hormones as well.

    I know for me – it sent my hormones / emotions into places that I couldn't even fathom – and I used to give a public service announcement in advance to my significant other as to the day that he should "just let me be" and not aggravate me. And EVERY month – he would choose that particular day to try my nerves….seriously. Without fail. If I didn't know better, I would think he enjoyed the spazz outs because I'm generally a laid back person and the voice of reason.

  31. PMS is a medical reality, but that does not mean every woman who is irritable has PMS.

    " By monitoring the time at which symptoms occur, it has been shown that as many as 40 percent of women who present with presumed PMS actually have another disorder, most commonly mood or anxiety disorders"

    because a woman is irritable doesnt mean she has PMS. it only affects about 30% of women.

  32. I don't know this is such a taboo topic *shrugs*

    The former boo said that he figured it out b/c it was the only time i would turn him down for chex.

    I don't have those mood swings and other crazy things. I used to have the worse cramps ever. like they went from my pelvis to my knees. I felt like my legs were jelly. but, since i take birth control pills this has stopped =)

  33. "Women have periods(except those afflicted with menopause or good birth control)"

    My first thought: WTF Does this negro mean, GOOD birth control? I bet he's talking about that stupid Seasonal ish, that period once every 4 mths bs. All birth conrtol is good as long as it doesnt leave you pregnant! And WTF does he know about it anyway, THAT ni**a aint on it! Effing men, I swear…

    My second thought: Damn, he right though. My period is due next week. And I did just flip out. Um, carry on…

  34. I am late, got detained at the border… Random car checking, working permit and visa checking…

    I am an alien… I don't feel anything before or during my period, it lasts 3 days when I am unlucky ! It's disgusting. A few years ago I had random back pain or cramps, nothing to complain about, we get used to it. I am not horny (never) and I am not on the pill- celibacy=3 years (almost).

    PMS does exist and affect women differently, I had a friend who passed out during her period, had headache etc… name it, she had it !

    I co sign with everything the women said today…

  35. I am done with men talking about periods. You will never understand, so all of the talk about periods is just gonna turn into dudes swapping stories about their experiences with PMS, and for that, gentlemen, you need no input from women at all. This particular blog article is not a quest for enlightenment, but a request for trash talking. Yes, if we all went to the reproductive unit in elementary, we all know that there are hormones responsible for periods, and we all know that there is this thing called PMS. Does it sneak up on men/women sometimes? Yes. Is it imaginary? No. If you guys choose to be with a woman and not a man, will you have to deal with it in one of its many forms? Yes.

    Must be a slow news day for you guys…'cause this topic is something journalists classify as a non-news item. I'm used to y'all coming tighter. Continue…

  36. yeah, im late. but i officially died @

    "Did Barack f* around and leave Michelle and illicit an unanimous out-lash amongst black women? … Nope … White House is solid. Next!"

    cuz IF this EVA EVA did happen. riots.

    that it all.

  37. don't ask if it's her period. it's a bad idea, unless you're actually trying to piss her off. what's the point?

    Personally I get incredibly hyper/sociable/ happier with life in general and that's how i know a period is due. So any man asking is guaranteed to be wrong and make me mad..

  38. Well…any question that is not only that personal, but specific and stereotypical to gender, is incredibly intrusive and immature.

    If you were angry or upset about something, how would you feel if a woman asked you, "Is your sperm count low this month?"

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