![[PIC]Drink[PIC]](http://www.singleblackmale.org/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/922992_tekila.jpg)
“Man … I bought that girl a drink and didn’t even get the number”
“Ha ha … you simp ass b*tch”
This conversation occurred so many times in college its not even funny. I tell people to this day that me and all my friends had an official policy about buying drinks for women while in school, and for the years following … don’t do it!
I can actually remember the first time I bought a girl a drink that I didn’t know. I was in Atlanta and had just graduated, so early 20s. I had already signed my offer letter and knew how much I would be making, so I was living on credit and enjoying life (don’t worry … I had an internship for temp funds) and I was spending plenty of money on myself … strip clubs … alcohol … you know … the usual.
Basically … I was chatting it up with this pretty young thang … hitting her with the Billy Dee like game. At some point she hints that I need to buy her a drink (something like “I need to get my night started”). At this point … time froze … like everything stood still around me and I could just walk around and inspect sh* … like Hiro from “Heroes”. Do I give her an excuse, potentially throwing away all the good game I had spit and time I had invested (about 15 minutes … but hey … time is time) or do I break the rule and commit cardinal sin of the club #2 (smashing on the dancefloor raw is #1). So … I asked for the number right then and there … knowing in my head her response would govern who paid for her drink. She put them and her name into my phone (I think its still there too) … so I got her an Apple Washington … and unbeknown to her … she popped my cherry.
I had to physically have the number in my possession before I felt comfortable buying a drink. And trust … little has changed.
Why do I need to buy a woman a drink if we are having good conversation and you are interested in me? Do you need verification that I have money? Are you incapable of buying your own drink? Or is it a power play to see what you can get from me?
In support of my “Don’t buy em drinks” campaign … I have all kinds of stories from female friends. One friend got the drink, ducked under the guy’s arm, and yelled thank you over her shoulder as she headed back to the floor. And there are a million more where they guy got little to know acknowledgment or a half ass’d thank you
I could go on for days about this one … but basically … at the end of the day … I just don’t know you well enough to spend my money on you. Most women don’t go around giving handjobs to everyone that asks or talks to them … so why should I come out my pockets when all I have is a name and a blurb about you?
If I came in with you, or I know you from outside the club … completely different. I have little problem with it. But there is little you can say to me in 15 minutes of conversation for me to roll the dice for $15 at you being in the small percentage of quality.
And please believe … I’ll be a Trump Tycoon individual still giving girls the stink eye when they ask for drinks!
SBM aka Let them drink water aka Water is $5!!! … let em drink ****
Where's The Most Honorably Late Mr. "Strokes" RightCoastLexSteele at? Lol
I also wanna know where this man is.. (>_<)
If ya'll knew the posting schedule you'd be able to answer that question …
Well we sorta don't, so I'm assuming it was his day off and he's having a long weekend… that b*sterd… lol
Time is money & according to that you have already spent 15mins of it laying game & then you pout about buying a drink? C'mon son! Then when a female shoos a man away before he even starts talking to her …then shes a cold b*tch for not giving a brother a chance. YOU CANT WIN!
That is why I refuse drinks offered in any situation because I do not go to the club to partake in a barter system that is flawed because someone ends up feeling some kind of way if the barter bar chatup doesn't go down its normal route of: ( You fake compliments, I fake genuine interest, you buy me a drink & then I give you my details).
Why must this charade continue over the ages?
If time is money and I've already dropped 15 minutes … why do I want to throw another $8-$14 on top of that?
It's not always a waste of time, we ALL KNOW that their are those chicks who have drinking problems and one drink, can open those flood gates in the right situations, a lot of girls and guys regret what they do when drinking… my advice, long island ice tea is the ultimate equalizer.
I personally don't go to clubs expecting dudes to buy me drinks(I know plenty of friends that do). However, I aint gonna lie…it makes the night a little sweeter when someone does. The thing with buying drinks is this, if I like you and you buy me a drink then it just increases any points that you already have with me. On the other hand, if I don't like you then you buying me a drink won't make me like you. Many females will minimally tolerate a guy that they know they don't like if they think they'll get a drink out of it. I'd say the decent thing to do is if you know you don't like him then don't let him spend his money on you. On the flip side fellas, don't go spending your time and money on just anybody. Make wise investments people!
Welcome!
(Forgive me if this isn't your first comment, it's early here!)
I agree you earn cool points for buying me a drink. I don't usually drink and run unless I have already stated no thanks and dude insists that I allow him to buy me a drink. The sad thing is that some bruthas think a $15 drink means we need to be attached at the hip and that I need to go home with ya. Um, no I don't think so. I we sit converse, even dance with you and give you my number, but any other personal contact that night besides a hand shake, hug even a peck is out of the question. You won't be holding up my panties to your friends later saying SCORE.
Peace, Love and Chocolate
Tiffany
For every girl that is telling us to make wise investments with my drink purchases, there are 50 who are telling us "it's only $10 … ya broke bastard!"
Fact is, why is the drink involved in the process at all? If I do like you and vice versa, is putting a long island in your system needed?
Hey everybody! I read this site all the time…idk if this is really my first comment. Anywho, buying a drink is part of the equation because it shows that you have a sense of chivalry and that you are not stingy. Stinginess in guys is such a turn off. Guys, if a girl is showing she isn't interested or very iffy about you spending money won't make the situation any more positive. If anything we'll just feel kinda guilty about dipping out on you.
Hey Laxangel, you are new, so I won't throw out the typical that would occur at the suggestion that guys show chivalry and avoid stinginess by tricking out their money (those are two very red hot topics here).
Instead I will make this argument: it's a bad investment for a guy to give your money out just to 'make a good impression. Consider it economically for a second:
Suppose I spend 2 hours at a club, suppose I talk to one girl every 15 minutes, that's 8 girls. If I'm "supposed" to be chivalrous and non-stingy and buy each girl one drink (noting of course guys trick off way more than that usually), then that is about 10 bucks each. That's 80 dollars for one night.
Further suppose that I got out twice a week keeping the same pace. That's 160 dollars a week….640 a month… 7,680 dollars a year…which is a 1/3rd or 1/4th of most people's salaries. Before you say thats an exaggeration, remember that your argument is that guys SHOULD buy drinks for every girl they are interested in, in the name of chivalry, so it's probably an understatement.
Put bluntly, no guy on the come up should be putting in a a large chunk of their salary, esp in a recession, into girls who have no obligation or loyalty in them (because they've just met up for FIFTEEN MINUTES).
It's as pimps say, paper first…. :"you-know-what" goes last.
Ok whoa whoa whoa! When you decide to go out to the club to make any type of romantic connection, you’re obviously aware that you’re entering some type of “game” situation. Buying a drink to every woman you find attractive is obviously not a winning scheme…unless the name on your bank account is “Bill Gates”! I believe that buying a drink to a woman at the club is an investment quite like investing in the stock market; it’s not because there are a million different stocks you could invest in that you actually invest in a million stocks! C’mon now!…Let’s not be foolish!
Men have to think wisely and act strategically. If you wanna check out a particular woman, observe her from a distance, see how she behaves with the other dudes that approach her, see if she buys her own drinks, etc… just learn to spot the bluffers (all these women that are ready to run as soon as you buy them a drink). Of course, there is no exact science; you win some and you lose some. But it’s definitely a skill that can be improved. So like they say, don’t hate the players, hate the game!
Lol…I'm giving props to the apple washington & the fall of sbm's cherry episode but I so can't co-sign this… #youmad
when I was in uni…I got thru 3 whole years without buying single a drink for myself when I was out @ the clubs…with my girls, it was almost a given that some guy wanting to 'woo' one of us would normally have stepped in with a smile to pick up the drinks tab before we pulled out our purses…rule was 'all for one & one for all'…but not in the bedroom though…I'm not gonna bed you 2 say thank u for a drink that I can afford..truth be told only one guy has gotten lucky with me same night via a drink in the club… and that resulted in a 2 year relationship flying back and forth across europe…(and yep he offered to pay for the plane ticket too with not coaxing from moi)
if I'm out with guys now…I still don't pay…
It's nice…a sign of a gentleman (only potentially tho cos that's not a given at all)…so stingy men exit here please…cos I know that there are men out there that will step up to the play and prove to me chivalry aint dead…
p.s
$5 for water???…surprised it's not tap on order
I'm curious, what was your (or any of the women from your group) normal reaction to a guy picking up the tab? Was it just a "thank you" and you were gone? Was there some kind of conversation that followed?
"It’s nice…a sign of a gentleman (only potentially tho cos that’s not a given at all)…so stingy men exit here please…cos I know that there are men out there that will step up to the play and prove to me chivalry aint dead…"
My only problem with this is that you admit that buying a drink doesn't prove you're a gentleman, but seem to indicate that not buying a drink proves you're stingy and not chivalrous. I believe it has to work both ways. If a guy doesn't buy you a drink, it may be because he hasn't gotten paid yet & needs his money to last a bit longer, or maybe because he wants to talk to you & doesn't feel alcohol is necessary to do that, or maybe he's simply stingy. Just don't write someone off as stingy or not chivalrous just because he doesn't jump at the chance to spend his money on someone he just met.
You mean to tell me, that in order to woo one of you, I gotta buy drinks for all of you?
Can we apply that logic else where: You wanna have chex w/ me, so you need to have chex w/ the squad.
I think this analagous
You took the words right out of my mouth …
@african – it was a pact that we made before we went out clubbing back in the day. I guess we figured that not many guys would agree to pay for a group of girls…so we thought it would stop any girl getting in way over their heads too quickly with a guy if he knew her girls were gonna be in the mix for a while. it was also a way for us to keep an eye on each other thru the night…paid drinks meant ‘heads up someone’s interested in of the girls, scope him out’. It might not make sense to you but it’s what we did…and it worked for the most part. i do remember many times that I sighed because free drinks meant him and his group had our time…I’d throw my friend a side eye and then stay polite til it was over.
I’ve never been accused of writing a guy off for prematurely thinking he’s stingy…like I said I can afford my own drinks but I still think it’s nice to be asked. I also know that if he does offer, it’s not necessary for me to say yes. With age comes wisdom! Trust me I politely say no more times, than I say yes at this age…especially with strangers but doesn’t mean that I won’t carry on conversing. If he insists, I say I cant because I’m driving. It’s only a given with male friends I know very well…or any of the guys that are part of the group I’m out with if we’ve got a table and bottles in the club.
p.s
If he’s not been paid yet…then what the heck is he doing in the club that night?!
@peyso & SBM – ewww…that's nasty..
lol.. what if I buy him a drink back?…then my part of contract is null and void right? Seriously, I’ve actually done that before…we chatted for a about 30 minutes…he seemed nice so when he offered I said yes…then much latter into the evening he said some things that caused alarm bells to start ringing…I disappeared to say hi to a friend and then reappeared with the next round of drinks. As soon as I’d finished my drink, I made up an excuse and took off… with a very clear conscience.
nope. the contract is still valid, u've actually just created another contract. you can now negotiate by cancelling both contracts
Oh God No! Don't bring up plane tickets! You'll give SBM trauma echos! lol *retreats back into her dark corner* Hi SaneN85 *waves*
I love the shoutout! Why are you retreating? Please join our little family and make it greater. Well, either way, you just popped your commenting cherry so *pops champagne*.
Welcome!
Ya'll know me well because I was really considering writing a whole response just to address the plane ticket situation … but I'll let it go because intra-Europe plane tickets are pretty cheap.
Dude i already commented on another of your posts that i said no when he offered. i have no problem holding my own
i paid for my ticket to see him and he paid his to see me. we were good.
like i said it's the gesture for me that counted
Sorry, couldn't remember which side of the ticket argument you were on.
there is a certain way that women tell stories about men that buy them things and spend their money that makes it seem like I should be jealous of these men. As if the men who spend their money are "real gentleman and balling".
I will never be jealous of a man that spends more money than me. I might be jealous of a man that makes more money than me. But never spends
They say it aint tricking if you got it, either way its pimping if you don't trick….
Just reading this bothered me to my core. Then when I started writing a response, I think my hands started shaking.
So … I'll just slump my head in sadness.
I prefer buying my own drinks, thank you! The only time I let a guy pay for my drinks, or for dinner that matter, is when I know he is special, ie., I like him (and I rarely like anyone!). It's like my way of letting him know, "Ok, Mr. Handsome-Hot-Stuff, you are special to me and since you are asking, I will relent and allow you to pay the bill." Otherwise it is 50:50 or I just prefer to pay. At least men in the US are evolved enough to understand and appreciate this; after living all of my life in the US, I decided, on a whim, to move to India…the men in India practically froth at the mouth when I say that I would like to pay for my portion of the bill!
I loved India…and i intend on going back…#thatisall
I've stopped accepting drinks from men I don't know. And I mean "know" as in acquaintances or better. I'm not accepting a drink from somebody I've barely said "boo" to. Why do you want to buy me a drink? *Fat Joe voice* I don't know you, man! And even if we've been chatting for a bit and you've been laying your best Billy Dee game, I don't like people who try to stunt. Buying me a drink won't help you get close to me. Especially since I don't drink alcohol. So, even if you buy me drink, I've still got a firm grip on reality and all of my inhibitions, lol. All I'm going to get is a coke, water, or some cranberry juice on the rocks. The money you spend won't impress me. Yes, even if it's that $5 Fiji water from LOVE.
Besides that, I often compare buying drinks to pissing on trees, sometimes the buyer seems to think that I'm now there personal property. I have to deal with him for an extended period of time and if I try to shake him, I'm a "scandalous broad" or some other unsavory epithet. I've had a guy follow me around the club b/c he bought me a drink. Chile, boo.
And please, please, please do not walk up to me offering a drink that you've already purchased unless you want your feelings hurt. I've had to slap the hand of many a friend for attempting to accept unsolicited drinks from strangers on the dancefloor. Safety first. I don't know you or what's in that drink. Are you walking about the floor, breathing on that drink and offering it to the first decent girl you see? Atleast offer to walk me to the bar. This screams "lazy and possibly crazy." Goodnight, sir.
SideBar – that's supposed to be "Big Pun Voice" … 'It's So Hard…
I was fittin to say the samething
Thanks fellas! I realized that but I couldn't get a reply to go through from my phone to correct it. Let's hope Pun forgives me, lol.
I concur!
I've had this discussion on quite a few occasions with friends both male and female. Of course there is always mixed opinions. I've simply mastered a way to deflect the "buy me a drink" hint.
I know it sounds crazy but I'd be more willing to take you out for breakfast after the club than to buy you a drink. I dont know, cant explain it, and quit trying to a long time ago. Thats just me.
I think you've commented before, so I won't welcome you again.
Now as far as the breakfast goes, does this have something to do with the higher probabilty that this one will go home with you? #justcurious
I cosign with the breakfast idea. And to address Sane, for me its not just the fact that the chance of post club coitus is greater, but the money spent on breakfast is actually in an engaging environment where we can actually connect. Me getting you a drink adds no value to me and you yelling in each others ear.
That makes sense. Although, to be honest, I would probably be really cautious if a man asked to buy me breakfast after the club. If it happens organically, (like if he and his boys and me and mine end up at the same Denny's ro plan to meet there), that is a different story.
Viva La Revolucion!!!
Buying a female I don't know a drink equates to buying her time and means that my time is less valuable and I need to compensate. Considering that there are usually a multiple of women in the club, me choosing to connect with you is a genuine sign of interest. If I can't hold you down with just that, let's keep it moving.
Women go out to have fun with their girls, guys go out to pick up women. Know thy enemy and act accordingly fellas. Don't be a Sponsor!
THIS!!!
"Women go out to have fun with their girls, guys go out to pick up women. Know thy enemy and act accordingly fellas. Don’t be a Sponsor!" – Even if the dude is single, he at least wants to look at the women
150% Co-sign
Why is it that I must add in extra to get some time, but all she needs is a smile?
Interesting… I share most of my sentiments w/ BSQUARED86. The funniest thing is, I don't think a man has ever paid for my drinks/offered to buy me a drink in the club, except once… and I knew him personally so it's not the same.
However, men have come & escorted me to their VIP areas & offered me a drink from their bottle of Rose or w/e it is that they have outlandishly spent funds on. <— this happens frequently. I usually decline.
1. There is always too much happening in a VIP area, I don't really even get the chance to talk to you.
2. Ya'll could've poisoned that whooooooole bottle. No thx.
3. Men do equate the acceptance of drinks to women seemingly becoming their personal arm candy for the night. Son, I'm tryna mix & mingle. Peace.
4. I don't eeeeeem fukc w/ Rose.
So in a word, SBM… *Tupac Voice* I ain't mad atcha.
Exactly. Unless my feet hurt & I'm looking for a seat, all we're doing in VIP is playing the "Whatchusay?" game, lol.
9 times out of 10, I decided whether or not he'll get my number within the first few minutes. All of this stunting and carrying on won't do much to improve those chances. Conversation? maybe. Rose (or in my case, a soda)? Nope.
I'm about to hit yall with the illest mathematical proof of all time. Streetz will appreciate this…
Buying a woman you've just met a drink in the Club = Paying to spend more personal time with her
Paying to spend personal time with a woman = tricking
Selling your personal time for anything = hoeing
If someone is tricking, then someone is hoeing therefore…
Buying a drink for a stranger in the club = tricking
Accepting a drink from a stranger in the club = hoeing
Here's the thing, time is money – when we're talking about work. If you're in the club, you should not be working. Therefore, you should not be spending money for anyone's time in the club. Nor should you be selling time. If you're paying for someone's time – in the club – you're tricking. If you're selling your time – in the club – you're hoeing. It doesn't mean you're selling your body – but – the principle is the same – and I'm all about principles. Don't get me wrong, if you come to the club with my friend, like, you're my home girls home girl, or, you're my boy's home girl, and we're all kinda kicking it together, when I go to the bar, I'm getting a round of drinks – I'm not excluding you because I don't know you. That's different. That doesn't count – my friends are my people's friends and my people's friends are my friends.
Now, ladies, let me make something clear to you. There are two types of guys who will pay for a woman's time in the club. There's the simp – he's the guy who thinks you deserve to have that Vodka Tonic because you went through all the trouble of getting yourself dressed, jumping in the cab, and coming all the way to this godforsaken club, so, the least he can do, is pay for your alcohol for the night. He's lame – you don't wanna date him, so why waste time with him now. If your personal time in the club is for sale with this guy in the club is to get the free drink out of it – then I find you utterly unattractive.
Now – the other guy who will buy drinks in the club, is the guy who thinks women are objects. He's the guy who can't differentiate between a new car and a new chick. As soon as this guy buys you the drink, and you accept, he's thinking – ok cool – so – how much is it gonna cost me to buy the drawers. That's why, when this guy buys you a drink in the club – he's going to be upset if you take that drink and go somewhere else with it. And you know what – he should be. When you accept a drink in the club, you're making a tacit agreement with the buyer, that, while that drink is in your possession, your time is his. If you don't like this rule – stop accepting drink offers.
So this doesn't apply to me b/c I don't accept drinks… but I just wanted to throw this out there:
Didn't somebody say… "It ain't trickin' if you got it?"
#TPainShrug
And that is why you don't take advice from rappers.
It is trickin – even if you got it. Ask any real pimp. And by real pimp I mean – A Man of Leisure/Employer of Women of the Night – and he will tell you – the best tricks are the ones who "got it".
"And that is why you don’t take advice from rappers."
This line mine me giggle. Also, I can't cosign your comment (as I'd be implyng that a lot of women I know are garden tools, and I can't go around doing that), but I also can't disagree.
I never understood that foolishness from the first time I've heard it. Per the Urban Dictionary:
tricking: when dude always come out they pocket and neva let their lady pay.
What part of that definition suggests an ability or inability to pay? It's still tricking, it's just that someone with money can afford to trick.
yeah its always still tricking–but being a smart trick! LOL. the dumb tricks are the ones that don't have the $ to do it in the first place.
however, if its your main girl, its not tricking at all. its just doing what yall do…
If it's not tricking if you got it, does that mean "It's not hoeing if you don't need it".
Basically, if a woman who is financially well off takes money for sex under the premise that "I was gonna do it anyway, the money is a nice bonus" … is that OK.
I'm just wondering …
I effs w/ this line "When you accept a drink in the club, you’re making a tacit agreement with the buyer, that, while that drink is in your possession, your time is his."
This is legally enforceable contract in my book. There is an offer, acceptance and consideration! He offered you a drink which cost him money, you accept drink which costs you time. Consideration – time and money
#AndThereYouHaveIt
"When you accept a drink in the club, you’re making a tacit agreement with the buyer, that, while that drink is in your possession, your time is his."
Why I've never! I've bought my own drinks for as long as I can remember. Lol hehe the equation is friggin ridic! It makes me chuckle because there could be some truth. BUT SDot is backing away.
I co-sign my fellow Hempstead Native's proof.
QED my n*gga QE with a big ass D!!! [||]
Thats all ther is!
I don't ever ask or hint for a drink…i think that's kinda rude…i hate asking for things anyway (even though they say a closed mouth won't get fed)…if its someone that i know, i'll accept the offer if one is made…
As a woman, I not only refuse a man I don't know trying to buy me a drink, if you are a silly broad talking about "I don't buy my own drinks…", then you will be kicked out of the crew. If you can't afford to pay for your own drinks and, further, have the belief that there are people on the Earth brought here to cater to you, then you lack a generosity of spirit and can't be in the crew.
Because the girl who refuses to buy her own drinks is also the girl who at a group dinner, only puts in enough money for her dinner and is oblivious to tax and tip.
The girl who refuses to buy her own drinks is the girl who will disappear with some dude she just met when she knows she was everybody's ride.
The girl who refuses to buy her own drinks if the girl who borrows money from you then gets mad when you ask her for it.
The girl who refuses to buy her own drinks has a sense of entitlement about life a mile wide and a mile long, and those are the worst people to have around you.
Seriously, if you can't afford to buy drinks at a club:
– Stay home
– Go to house parties
– Ask a friend a head of time if she will spot you
– Only go when a friend has a table and invites you to come out
– Invest in a flask and bring your own liquor – soda water is free and juice is never more than a few dollars.
Basically, get your 'ish together and stop using people.
Are you single? Can I buy you a drink LOL!
Yup, single right now, and no you can't but me a drink..I don't know you like that 😉
Standing Ovation…
",,,if not, you are the prototype"
I really couldn't have said this better.
"Because the girl who refuses to buy her own drinks is also the girl who at a group dinner, only puts in enough money for her dinner and is oblivious to tax and tip."
OMG This!
basic cheap broads, I hate em. lol
I'm not even going to give you props for this….
I am going to salute your parents for raising you right.
somebody has their head on straight.
That is a REAL independent woman.
You MUST be light skinned with the way you drop significant knowledge!!
Jokes…
But Standing Ovay ALL the way!
Wow *Gucci Voice*
Ha! You must be a soothsayer. LSN, stand up!
#Cosign this all the way.
You need to give a manual to some of these trifling ass "hoes" whose impetus for going to to the club is to see how much attention and money they can extract from "men" without even talking to them or paying them any attention.
I guess it's just me being the arrogant light skinned guy I am 🙂 :-)……….but I don't buy no brawds drinks. Never understood the logic in that.
Like someone said earlier:
"On the other hand, if I don’t like you then you buying me a drink won’t make me like you. "
and the flip side of that is if she do like you, you don't have to buy her nothin.
Look if I am talkin to a girl and the conversation is goin well I will offer to buy a drink. Other than that I don't have a budget for buyin random brawds drinks.
Hell I don't even drink myself. And I don't like alcoholic females so I'm generally not gonna be tryin to holler at a brawd that's pressed for free drinks in the club.
You women on here who talk all that "I pay my own way" BS are dumb as hell. I'll tell anyone on anyday that hell yeah, I expect these men to buy my drink!!! If I'm not coming straight from work, and I done got all dolled up to come out here and be on display for yall, I need my time compensated. No exceptions! This lip gloss you starring at and salivating over, cuz you so enticed by how good I'm looking, aint free… and neither is my time! So real talk, I need you to understand the name of the game…YOU GOT TO PAY TO PLAY! I'm sure you don't roll up to work not expecting your employer to compensate you for your time. Cuz at the end of the day, there are a million other things you could be doing with your time. And in case you thought you read wrong, yeah I said it, "I expect my drinks to be bought when I'm out." And you better believe when I go out, it definitely goes down executed as planned.
One thing I must say is that, when I do go out and don't feel like being bothered with shuckin' and jivin' with you men, I'll GLADLY buy my own drinks. I got the bread to do it, I just prefer to let my money stay exactly where it is…in my wallet! And besides, who doesn't like something free?!?!? I know I do, and so do most of you all on here. There's a sucker born everyday; that goes for men and women.
Wow. This is some straight hood-ass-chick-borderline-hoe talk. Not even trying to play you, but there is now way you can be serious. Ain't nobody tell your ass to get dressed and go to the club in the first place. If you doing all that and feel you must be compensated, either do less or stay home. The club is a place to meet people, dance and have a good time. Nowhere in that equation factors in people compensating you for showing up.
Man, reading 'ish like this makes me not want to have a vagina.
whose (wo)man is this?!?!?!
eff outta here w/ that bullspit.
You acting like i aint went and got a cut and shined my shoes and smell good and what not. Men are supposed to pay for women's drink b/c she got dressed and made it to the club? Pay her because she got dressed? And her outfit probably consist of the same short and tight black dress that needs to be taken in (or let out) a bit and 8 other chicks have on? she's probably wearing wet and wild make up and cheap shoes that she's eventually gonna have to take off b/c her feet are throbbing? That wack coach clutch you got during the friends and family sale at Macys? eff outta here. If these are the broads im suppose to be buying drinks for, i aint buyin drinks for no one. They need to be investing drinks in their damn wardrobes.
Its terrible when a heterosexual dude dresses better than a woman
iDied. iCried. iCant w/ this post PEYSO!! Omg.
Wet 'n Wild make up tho?!
Family & Friends Day Macy's Sale?!
U. Slay. Me.
Lol @ the Coach comment – I hate Coach everything. Coach is for grandmothers and teenagers. Everything inbetween – no bueno.
Not even gonna comment at the post. This Molly Chick can't be serious. My #swindle radar is going off on this one.
LMAO. I am having a BAD day and if u know where i'm from you'll understand why.
Peyso…u literally are the first person to make me audibly laugh today and I thank you. This is helllllla tru. iDied.
anytime
fatality. finish her.
Molly,
I'm not gon' even hate. Different strokes for different folks. If this is what it do for you, what you eat won't make me sh*t. But I will say this though…at this rate, you may wake up one night after the club in a cold ice bath with a note explaining why your kidneys are missing, why you shouldn't panic, and what to do til 911 gets there. ::rclshrug::
And maybe you want to change lip gloss brands. The one you use now sounds real expensive.
@ the rest of you
Yea, I'm very late. No I ain't signed up for no damn twitter. No, I'm not putting up a pic. And no, you can't borrow my damn VCR.
All due respect, Mr. RCLS sir, people are just tryin to show their love for you and ish. I hope this isn't sincere frustration in this blog's loyal followers. If so, build a bridge sir, because we'll love yo azz anyway!
I buy drinks for girls in the club. I get a table and invite chicks I don't know to my table. That bottle ain't going to drink itself. And i'd be a fool to try and drink it all by myself anyway, i've tried… it didn't end too well. I buy girls drinks in the club not because i'm trying to get anywhere with them, but I just do it as a gentleman and to make sure she's having a good time. I feel like if I can do my part to make the party better, then the party will be popping.
I mean, I was an athlete in HS and a frat boy in college, i'm used to throwing free parties and serving alcohol to women. Why wouldn't I do it at the club?
Now I can write a post on, you would have got the number without the drink, but like I said, i'm not buying a girl a drink because i'm trying to talk to her.
Hithermore, no homo, but I bought this guy drinks every time we went out for the last 5 years. 5 years of buying this guy drinks, hell sometimes he even told chicks he was trying to holla at to put drinks on my tab. That guy? Yeah, he's not only my chapter brother, but he's also a DOCTOR.
Sometimes people are too stingy for their own good, don't realize that if you are a giving person, you'll always get it back.
Oh yeah and i'm a promoter's best friend.
Exactly! All of what you said…all of THAT! lol
*waves* Heyyy stranger!
Hey Sane! *waving big* Happy Friday! 🙂
Given your post about being flashy and flossy, I'm not surprised by this. lol
I guess I am in the minority here, but I've never had a problem (with myself or anyone else) accepting drinks from a guy. I don't ever feel tied to a guy just because he bought a drink. If we are talking and we are at the bar or we head in that…then yes, you are buying the drink. Now…if we decide for another round I may pick that one up…even if I'm not drinking anymore. I have no problem buying a man a drink either, but I suppose I look at it for what it is in the moment. JUST DRINKS. No, I've never left the club with someone that spent $10 at the bar and I don't plan to. No, I don't feel pressured to hang around you any longer if I'm no longer interested in you or our conversation. If your whole plan for the night was to find your wife by purchasing a drink in a room full of people, then you sir, FAIL.
I guess I just can't get into how people over-analyze what "a drink" means….or maybe it's just not that deep to me.
I think there's principle behind everything. I'm one of those types. I just can't do it. I can't buy R.Kelly Albums, and I can't buy drinks in the club. Just not in my DNA.
Well you know I live in the rude man capital of the world and am therefore no stranger to the phenomenon of men who do not buy drinks as a matter of policy. These guys aren't hurting for a$$ so it's clearly not a necessary part of a man's repertoire.
As a matter of fact a dude just offered to buy me a drink the other night and my immediate response was – where are you from? It was a dead giveaway that he was new. I was like – you'll catch on.
See, this is me right here. Men don't buy drinks around here. I get offered a drink maybe every 5th or 6th time I go out, and I usually decline.
Testify to that! And I wonder if it's just a plague of Toronto or just in general–Canada. Men out here treat women a whooole lot different than i've ever been used to. Culture shock.
Honestly….I'm about ready to move. iCan't with these guys anymore, I really can't.
U can move to South America with me and I promise u will never want to return to this God forsaken country again…JK I love Canada. But SA men are all romantic and sh*t and if I didn't have to I wouldn't have traded them up for the world LOL.
i don't buy drinks now, because i'm a member of Broke Phi Broke…
but if i ever get to a situation where $15 to me is like $2 to me now…then yea, i'd buy a chick a drink. screw it, knowing me, i was gonna spend it on something foolish anyway *kobeshrug*
Paranoid. That's what I think people are that go out with the thoughts of "If I buy her a drink…then it means x y or z…so therefore..I refuse to do so" lmao. How about you're buying her a drink just because? How about you're accepting the drink…JUST because? Why the deep thoughts of who's zoomin' who? Of course you will come across that man/woman that feels they can hold you hostage for the price of a drink…but they aren't the norm. I buy as well as accept drinks…no biggie. Enjoy your night…try not to function with expectations…real or imagined about what the opposite sex will do in a CLUB period. However…it does irk me a wee bit when women ASK men to buy them a drink…that's not sexy. lmao
Happy Friday! and Happy 4th to all!
We was looking for you Seven. Didn't want to sound psycho and be like, "Where you been?!"
Hi Dr. J!!
Yeah…someone in a higher position than me was under the mistaken impression that I get paid to actually work…WHAT were they thinking? LMAO!!!
I've missed y'all too 😉
Hi!! Welcome back! Yay new e-pals? Yay? Nay? <<(^_^<<)<>(>>^_^)>>
Seven – Welcome back!
That said – I don't believe in 'just because'. And I don't think most men believe in that either. Everything has a reason, and everything has an underlying principle. I just can't get around seeing the underlying principle about anything. I'm the type of person that supports black owned businesses, even the service sucks and they're more expensive than other establishments because I believe in the principle.
The only place I err against the side of princple is in my sneaker choices. I only wear Nike products.
Hello Most!
Now wait a minute…"just because"…I'm one of those people! If I'm talking to say YOU at a lounge somewhere…and I'm ready to order another drink…I'm going to naturally ask you if you'd like one…without a moments hesitation…without thinking I want to disrobe you…or that you OWE me another 15 minutes or whatever. I just live.
Underlying principle…that's back to that paranoid thinking…some things just ARE…so stop it Most and sit down and have a dos equis on ME… Haaaaaa! Wait…not literally…that sounded awkward…I mean to say…I will BUY the dos equis. Ha!
I think as I said earlier, my underlying principle is because I want everyone to have a good time.
I'm starting to see why girl love DC guys so much… we're just generally nice people.
It actually confuses the hell out of a girl when I buy her a drink and say, "Alright, have a nice night."
i'm actually gonna try that…and see what happens, lol.
I'm as nice and as gentlemanly as the come – however, I never buy chicks drinks. I just can't do it. And do I want everyone to have a good time… yes. And does everyone who's around me in the club have a great time – yes. Don't need to spend money on drinks for that.
Like I said – Jax – if you come to the club, and you bring Seven and one of her homegirls with you and we're all kicking it. If I get up to grab a drink, I'm asking everyone if they want.
You are right Dr J…I've seen the confused look one too many times. It's only because they're trapped in that constant state of paranoia that I spoke of earlier…"what are they after?…how long do I have to be held hostage?…" R E LA X lmao
If we are just buying drinks… Just B/C how about you buy ME a drink????????!!!!?!?!?!?!!?!!?!?!?!
**insert dramatic chimpmunk**
Whatcha drinkin' Cheekz…I don't have a problem buying OR accepting!
I think the reason "just because" doesn't work is because you don't see a lot of situations where strangers are buying other strangers things "just because".
Every been in line in McDonald's and got a free Big Mac "just because" the person behind you felt it appropriate?
Damn Damn Damn ! Lmao…you said McDonalds. SBM…is there a precedent is the key here. It has never been usual and customary for customers in McDonalds to buy each other meals! However…it IS usual and customary for this exchange to occur in night clubs. That was hilarious though…but actually it IS the norm for me to every now and then pay for someone's small purchase at the convenience store/gas station…or to fork over the change they're digging so hard for at the bottom of their purses. Random acts of kindness dear…just random acts of kindness that spread like wild fires 🙂 Happy 4th love…now go spread some kindness!
I actually would love to have more time to comment but I don't… so I'll just ask this real quick:
I have a tendency of buying the drinks for the guys I meet at the club/bar when they approach me, why you guys get so shocked about such act? Lol
2ndly I love seeing that shocked expressions, its sometimes refreshing!
Men, do you enjoy it when a female buys you your drink?
#thatisallbye!
Yes … I would love that
Didn't I say before that when Imet you guys drinks would be on me? 😉 proof to my testament.
#okbye!
How do brawds have the nerve to call dudes cheap when 9 times out of 10 you got in the club free, or for half the price of a dude, and you don't have to buy drinks.
🙂 🙂 I'm just sayin.
PREACH
i'll be cheap. *shrug* it makes no difference to me. i'm not trying to impress you if all it takes is a drink to win with you.
lol!!
Chuuch …
i would never buy a woman a drink i don't know. something about it just doesn't sit well with me. like if i buy you a drink, is that some indicator of how much i'm interested in you? i've had women straight up ask me will i pay their bar tab. not buy them a drink but pay their tab. *blank stare*
like you said i have no problem buying drinks for my people (male and female alike) as evidenced by my bar tab from last night but if i don't know you then i don't owe you anything.
i remember in 2008 i went to a conference in san diego for aacr. didn't really know anyone there but i went to a few minority sponsored events. ended up going to this bar on a monday night. all the minority people were there (university of puerto rico was deep). i promise you i didn't buy a drink the whole night. all i kept hearing was so what do you want to drink from women. it was then i understood what it felt like to be a woman in the club.
Sheet … I think it might be time for another relocation.
it wasn't the women in the city. it was the people at the conference. if you are looking to relocate go to the university of puerto rico or whereve prarie view is.
"Wow. This is some straight hood-ass-chick-borderline-hoe talk. Not even trying to play you, but there is now way you can be serious. Ain’t nobody tell your ass to get dressed and go to the club in the first place. If you doing all that and feel you must be compensated, either do less or stay home. The club is a place to meet people, dance and have a good time. Nowhere in that equation factors in people compensating you for showing up.
Man, reading ‘ish like this makes me not want to have a vagina."
Wow, so unfortunate that you would even consider not having your vagina, especially when you consider the alternative. I love mine. 😉
Actually, I'm fairly simple, as I am the chick in my crew who will wear a Hanes V-neck with some jeans and still pull just about anyone I want. But, it's not really about that. Your reference about me being anything but a lady, because never in my life have I have been anything else, is woefully judgmental and inadequate. Regardless, it's your opinion, and you are thus entitled to it, but those are the rules I play by, while you and your girls break your OWN bread on a drink. I don't deal with that kind of minutia, because if I want to purchase my own beverage and anyone else's, I will.
I will say that I do buy drinks for friends without a thought. Hell, I'll even buy a drink for a man I'm just chatting with at the bar, just so he can see what it feels like to be on the other end. The shocked look is worth a few measly shillings. I don't think twice about drinks for my peeps; it doesn't matter if they ever bought me anything. They are my friends, so if they are with me and aren't adamant (like many men are) about paying the tab, I got it.
Bottom line is, we clearly don't play by the same rules, just like the rich and the poor, the fat and the skinny, the good looking and not so good looking. Our realities aren't the same, so I really can't fault you for your judgment, because you probably have no idea what it's like to walk a day in these kicks.
Who invited Kat Stacks to the SBM Cipher???
hilarious, but far from kat stacks.
IDK Molly, you might not be Kat Stacks… but… these comments are very Kat Stacks-ish… Peep your quote below:
"If I’m not coming straight from work, and I done got all dolled up to come out here and be on display for yall, I need my time compensated. No exceptions! This lip gloss you starring at and salivating over, cuz you so enticed by how good I’m looking, aint free… and neither is my time! So real talk, I need you to understand the name of the game…YOU GOT TO PAY TO PLAY!"
Now, when you say "I need my time compensated" And the time you're talking about being compensated for is time you're spending in the club… I ain't necessarily saying you's a hoe, but, I am saying you sure sound like one. You basically saying, when you're in the club, you're at work. Only hoe's work in the club. Kat stacks gets all dolled up so that dudes can trick on her when she goes out… you sound like a Kat Stacks. It is what it is.
I'm going to go ahead and co-sign MIMITW and say Kat Stacks is def in the building.
Your lip gloss is really worth anymore than my shape up? Your dress anymore than my suit/sweater/Brooks Brothers no-iron?
GTFOH
Hahaha you took the words out of my mouth. This comment confuses me in so many ways.
That's too funny, Most, because I was literally gonna write the same thing before I saw your comment.
Molly, ummmm welcome. *shrugs*
Get your crazy backpedal… All of a sudden you are the picture of generosity b/c someone called your hoe-like reasoning out. GTFOOH.
You're quite right that we don't exist in the same plane of reality – I simply refuse to use people to buy me 'ish. In college, I was lucky to have a credit card supplied by my parents so I never had to depend on anyone to ensure I had a good time. I make my own money now and am happy to pay my own way and go about unencumbered. Its not that men don't WANT to buy my drinks, its that I have enough respect for myself to know better than to accept (generally).
It's not to say I've never accepted a drink from a guy I meet and am chatting with and getting along with or that I don't buy drinks for people (in fact, I am ALWAYS the first to reach for my wallet and get the first and second round), but that's not the point. You initially came off as one of these women who think they are too good to buy a drink since they came all the way out and all these thirsty Ninja's want a piece. Puh-lease. If your first post is to be believed, rather than this defensive backpedaling, you are absolutely the epitome of the girl I described earlier who views life as one big game of entitlement. Do. Not. Want.
I was reading this and suddenly started hearing that song "I think I love you … so what am I so afraid of" and then had the flash in my head of running towards you in and open meadow … n sh*t.
Long Story short … co-sign.
Molly, if you can find some sucka a$$ lame to continually buy you drinks because you put on some clothes (which is basically what everyone does unless they are showering or fcking), more power to you. If someone wants to trick, it may as well be on you. You are helping them out, so I applaud your magnanimity.
O-k people…why are you getting on Molly's case when she is just giving her take on the "to buy a drink" situation. It wouldnt be a good blog if EVERYONE agreed on things. So cut Kat Stacks…I mean Molly some slack.
For the record, only drinks I'm accepting are the ones I'm buying! Have a good 4th people!
– Bunni
Ok, i had to stop reading just to say this…
Are you comparing giving a handjob to a stranger to buying a drink for a stranger? Really?
I was wondering if someone was gonna mention that. I don't get the comparison either.
Ya gotdamn straight I am.
Someone else put this eloquently when he said "I treat my money like you treat your body" when asked to buy a girl a drink. I would say a handjob would be the equivalent of maybe a solid $60 in drinks … but there are a lot of parallels if you think about it.
So think about it.
With all due respect, mr. SBM sir, I disagree. 🙂
It's great in theory to say you treat your money like your body. However, something tells me that you wouldn't be quick to offer a handjob to pay off $60 debt. I also don't believe for a second that you'd let a man give you a handjob to pay off a debt. If you can accept money from a man, but wouldn't accept sexual favors from a man, then money is not the same as sexual favors/your body.
you must not value your body much.
to compare dirty paper that pays for stuff to your temple is crazy to me.
Alright, finished reading now.
I agree to an extent. I don't think you're being a simp if you offer to buy a young lady a drink. Personally, I don't except drinks from strange men, and I've never asked some random reggin to buy me a drink. I'm at the point in my life where buying drinks doesn't impress me. Especially since I probably have more money and class than you anyway.
I say, everybody pay for their own drinks, unless you are with your friends, or you know that girl by the bar from work or church or something.
yeah, obviously I don't except drinks from strangers. However, if we're in Vegas, I might accept drinks from a guy or 2. Hypothetically… lol.
But seriously, everyone likes getting something for nothing. I don't know why men get so upset about buying drinks for women. If you want to buy a drink for a woman, buy it. If you don't, don't. But stop bitching about what other people do with their own money. It doesn't affect you, whether you're the buyer or the anti-buyer.
This is way I love house parties and cook-outs. Free alcohol for everyone.
its about the competition….
you have to keep up with the jones. So if there suck negros are out here buying drinks we have an obligation to shut that down for the betterment of all pen!s thruout the world.
I believe my pen!s is the future/teach him well and let him lead the way
"If you want to buy a drink for a woman, buy it. If you don’t, don’t. But stop bitching about what other people do with their own money. It doesn’t affect you, whether you’re the buyer or the anti-buyer."
this. absolutely. plus I think its extremely tacky to count other people's money. they're gonna spend it how they want to. let em. sheesh.
Just like we shouldn't be concerned with dudes who buy drinks and other peoples money, I need women to stop being concerned about other women.
No complaining if she:
– Sucks a lot of d*ck
– Sleeps with dudes on the first night
– Walks around with her titties out
– Lets random dudes grab on her ass
– Is down with the threesome
These and more are common complaints of female "competition". If we can't smack a simp for buying a random a bottle, no complaining when you don't get called back because the competition swallows.
Co-sign.
But, great post. I'll just sit back, lurk and laugh. 🙂
You lurk … Ha.
I say, everybody pay for their own drinks, unless you are with your friends, or you know that girl by the bar from work or church or something.
__________________________________
From church? Phaaa 🙂 F yall doin in the club drinkin? 🙂
Jesus turned water into wine. DON'T JUDGE ME!
lmao!!
Not wit T-Pain and Rick Ross pumpin in the background. 🙂
Maybe not Ricky Rawse and T-Pain. But I'm sure that wedding had some nice music. 🙂
Dang, I feel like I've commented already after going through all the other comments. Anywho, I mostly agree with BSquared. I don't generally accept free drinks, and part of the reason is I don't want anyone to think I owe them anything (whether it be time or booty), but also because I just don't feel that they should have to buy me a drink. If I am feeling a guy, then I'm already feeling him and if I'm not, there is no drink that's gonna change that. That's not to say that I don't immensely appreciate a GENUINE offer to buy me a drink (say from someone like Dr. J). It's those other ones (the two Most mentioned) that are just wasting their time even trying.
When I was 18, I went to the club for the first time with 4 friends (all older). I seem to have caught this much older gentleman's eye at some point and he approached me. I smiled and was polite, but never showed any real interest. He then offered to buy me and my friends a drink. Before I got the chance to even accept/decline, one of my cheap ass friends had call a waitress over. I didn't know how to not accept at that point. Before I knew it, that man ended up buying 3 rounds and one of my girls had been pretty rude to him too. I had 0 interest in him so I left the club at some point when he wasn't paying attention.
I felt so guilty, I made it my policy to generally not accept drinks at the club. I still want to find that man and give him some money back.
Don't feel bad – that dude does that every weekend. He's used to rejection. He probably wins doing that 1 out of every 10 tries. He's accepted that that's his life, and he's probably ok with that.
shubby doo: “when I was in uni…I got thru 3 whole years without buying single a drink for myself when I was out @ the clubs…with my girls, it was almost a given that some guy wanting to ‘woo’ one of us would normally have stepped in with a smile to pick up the drinks tab before we pulled out our purses”
molly greenwood: "I’ll tell anyone on anyday that hell yeah, I expect these men to buy my drink!!! If I’m not coming straight from work, and I done got all dolled up to come out here and be on display for yall, I need my time compensated. No exceptions!"
And this is exactly why you don’t buy women drinks in the club, especially if she approach you first. Now I can't even get mad and knock their
panhandlinghustle, because a sucker is born every minute and fools are born to be taken advantage of. But when it comes to me, in the words of Ice Cube, I ain't the one. I'd far rather give that money to a poor person on the street than buy you drinks because you wore clothes or because you are one of millions of attractive women in the world. I’ve said it before and I’ll repeat it, this is the proper manner to respond to such solicitation:Shorty: Hey, you wanna buy me a drink?
Me: I tell you what, why don’t you get the first round and I’ll get the next one.
If she has any genuine interest, she won’t object. If she is merely trying to use you to drink all night for free, she'll run from you like you farted.
Laxangel16: “The thing with buying drinks is this, if I like you and you buy me a drink then it just increases any points that you already have with me. On the other hand, if I don’t like you then you buying me a drink won’t make me like you.”
Listen to these wise words. Basically, it doesn’t matter if you buy the drink or not.
lol. I never go to the bar with the intent of a guy buying my drink. I actually know chicks that will go out without at dollar in their pocket and frown all night that they didn't get any drink offers. how lame of them. lol.
I usually order–but I'm short and if they bar is crowded its and its hard to get a bartender, I've had guys ask me what do I want and they order for me. Even still, I don't expect them to pay. If I pull out my money and he may be like "put hers on my tab", I kindly say thank you and keep it moving. oh and I always tip the bartender 🙂
I think maybe only once I've had a guy follow me around after buying a drink, but most just see it for what it is: a drink. lots of guys like to be hospitable, yes even to strangers. yes even strangers they aren't trying to holla at.
I've also kicked it with guys in VIP. but when we're ready to mingle again, me and my girls bounce. we recognize that our 'spots' may be replaced with other girls and we're okay with that…
I don't take any of it too seriously. *shrugs*
I like this attitude. Can't say I 100% agree, but your heart seems to be an agreeable direction with my general thoughts on the matter..
I actually know chicks that will go out without at dollar in their pocket and frown all night that they didn’t get any drink offers.
____________________________
Dam…..if I ever do a remix of the song Scrubs this will have to get a verse. 🙂
make sure you run me my royalties. thanks! lol
I won't accept a drink from a guy I'm not interested in outside of the club. I feel guilty taking a drink and walking away. If I don't feel like holding a conversation, then nope I won't take it. The only exception is bottle service. I will take a drink from a guy in bottle service with the swiftness.
Its funny when guys find out I don't drink alcohol and take away the offer of a drink. It's fine because then I know what kind of guy I was dealing with in the first place.
I couldn't agree with this post more. "I don't feel T-Pain, cause I never have to buy em' a drink" – Fabolous
Although, the reason I never buy women drinks is because…I don't drink; I don't go to clubs/bars; and I don't like to see women consuming alcohol.
Spending money on women = SIMP.
Point. Blank. Period.
If you are spending money in ANY way trying to gain favor from a potential, you are a disgrace to all things manly. I am not going to throw Dr J and all other generious people at the club under the bus, b/c best believe my behind lives off of you. However! When your intentions are so gain favor, whether you are successul or not, you are doing the male race a disservice by treating these ho3s too kindly. Look at the big picture: if enough women lowered themselves and allowed to eff raw on the first night it would raise our expectations on when we expect from woman and they would all have to adjust. The same works for buying drinks.
Best be sure. If I buy a girl a drink, I'm putting something in it to make sure I "make money back on my investment"
it aint r@pe if you don't remember.
"it aint r@pe if you don’t remember."
you joke about rape a little too much for my liking. rape is not a subject that should be tossed around lightly.
I'm glad a man stepped up and said something about that pronto. Not cool.
I'll take that L.
But only to say this: over the top humor only works if you are really over the top. And any good comedian would say there is a truth in jest….
So maybe ladies will be more careful at the bar b/c of some sick joke I made.
#savingface
Also I think your club rule number one (beating raw on the dance floor) needs its own post…. come one SBM you can't skip st8 to rule number 2.
This is how it is cold hard fast rule
1.Dont buy a drink as a form of introduction puts you in a trick bag you dont even know this woman let your game speak to
2. NEVER EVER EVER buy a drink if the woman as for woman reason being how many sucess stories have come from that?
3. If you wanna buy a drink for the lady let it be becuase you want to and you are having a good time but not as a form of obligation
I know plenty of drink vulture ladies who pray on sucker dudes scratch that i have gone to the bar with these same ladies And they Will LITERALLY have a dude buy a drink and bring it back to me!
Dont do it fellas period
Quick Story:
During NBA Draft night I hit NYC. Met up with a few of my homegirls and watch the hoasis unfold. We hit a club for the festivities. Theyre all very pretty/sexy/attractive btw. Shes the "money aint a thang" type and she went to the bar to buy drinks.
I post up on the outside of the bar to admire the scenery and check out the club. Cool spot.
She taps me on the shoulder and shes holding $60. She whispers in my ear: "Guess where I got this from?"
Then I look over and see <del> fake ballers</del> dudes ordering drinks.
She refused it like 7 times before son was like "its nothin I got it!".
Needless to say I got a Patron n Pineapple out of it and walked away with all the women. The dude got -60 and "street cred" for giving her money.
Who do you think won?
Who do you think never buys drinks for random women in the club?
Am I a trick?
that is all
Whew – I'm late. But I'm on Team Reecie. I don't expect it. Certainly don't ask. And not rude about anything unless ole boy is rude to me. But man…I've had a few nights where, by the time Dude #5 tried to buy me drinks all I could ask for was water, lol. Those were some fun nights (not the dirty kind)…just…people partying, laughing it up, dancing and generally having a great time.
Teflon – I don't want you even commenting on blog posts about alcohol. You gotta stay away from anything drink related for the next 9+ months.
ThankYouHaveANiceDay
Only suckers buy women drinks thinking they are going to get more than conversation. I am not calling anyone a sucker BUT
If it walks, quacks, and looks like a duck….
Well I don't drink so I don't expect a man to buy me a drink at tge club. Additionally I like the feeling of being able to pay for what I want by my damn self so I'd rather kit have a man buy me drinks anyway.
My main reason for delueking and commenting was to send an e-hi-five to PEYSO for tellin miss about herself lol
I'm stil hoping she was just joking though…I was slightly offended by her assertation that we women who take pride in doing for ourselves and not having bogus a$$ expectations of men at clubs are somehow dumb…
Is Peyso gonna have to go in on somebody everyday to keep you from going back into lurking? LOL
Hey! Why you gotta call me out? lol I fully intended on going back to lurking. Thanks for ruining my plans lol
Call it what you want, but I'm still not breaking bread on these drinks if I don't want to. 😉
Can you please chill with all the "breaking bread" talk.
You ARE NOT #JesusThe2ndComing!!! You're more like the antichrist.
Please take your many drinks n #KillYoself
That.Is.All.
Oh dayum…this just made me literally laugh out loud!
1. BIG PROPS TO ALL FOR THE SUBJECTS RAISED AND THE MAG-NIG-FA-SCENT RESPONSES!
2. Knowledge is powerful, but self knowledge is THE REAL POWER!!
3. Obviously, there are a ton of "my" people (i)-tuned to themselves….
4…. I regret I did not find this blog much earlier.
Here's my take on all this shiznit:
A. Real men let women be women….
B. Real women let men be men….
C. When Real Men & Real Women Recognize One Another….
D. Real Relationships Happen!!!
I'm Real (as in "Really Being Me")…& I'm not settling but insisting on "A Real Woman Being Her…(REAL)…self"!!!
My fraud azz-tena (oops antena)…is up 36/9…(azz opposed to 24/7)….and when I detect fraudulent actiity " I call and report that shiznit!!!
I don't mind buying drinks, paying for trips or fine dinners.
I don't mind paying for the limo & eating at Top Of The Town at Prospect House (back in the day..A.D. 1992)…
…But if I drop $650.00 for the night (voluntarily with no strings attached); Can I at least find a real woman willing to spend $6.50 for a bottle of wine and a $5.00 Hallmark Thank You Card "as a token of her appreciation"?
Notice I did not say she owes me $650.00 worth of good times in the future!!!….
… A real man just wants "A Thank You"
See I use money as the ultimate SAT/ACT; I wanna know IF you have a price!!
Is it $400.00 for a Coach Purse?
Is it $200.00 for the Gucci Glasses?
Is it $1,500.00 for the Versace Jeans?
Here's the real….My girlfriend walked into Vesace, saw an oufit "I Picked" and stormed out of the store when she saw the price tag of $3,265.00 + Tax!!! (knowing full well I'd have bought it for her as the money was not an issue…lol)
…She walked back thru the mall..Stopped in White House/Black Market…Spent $375.00 for two complete outfits….Paid $70.00 for some really sexy heels…AND CALLED IT A DAY!!!
I've got a name for this: PURE CLASS.
Question: Is she still my girlfriend? (Smiling)
BUT SHE WON'T TEACH THE OTHER B*TC*** A DOM TING..WHY?…Dumb Broads Ain't Competition!!!
Try this test…it works!! Women seldom equate consideration and money…when you take cash to a mall and flash stuff to them they can't buy for themselves…if they have a GOLDDIGGER GENE, itls coming straight the f OUT!!
THEN YOU KNOW!!
Much Respect SBM…I'll return often..AND THANKS
Welcome Jay! Please do keep coming back, it's always great to get a refreshing view (especially one said respectfully). Please do me a favor and keep spelling your name precisely this way, there's already a J and Dr. Jay. I don't wanna get you all confused.
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I have a game I play when asked to buy a drink. I refresh mine, then buy the drink she wanted…
And then I look her in the eye, drink her beverage, and then talk about how good it tastes.
You wouldn't think it, but that move has had me wake up in a quite a few bedrooms that aren't mine.
I totally co-sign this. I have been brought up to pay my way all the time. Nothing's for free so when I hit the club I pay for most of my drinks. Am always straight up with every single guy who wants to buy me a drink, "Seeing as nothing is free, what do you want in return?" …… That often has the majority of them stuttering and by the time they string up a reply am gone lol.
SaneN85,
No Problem… Jay is the play!
Glad to offer, as you put it, a refreshing perspective.
If this blog helps one person, male or female, I'm cool wit dat…. It sure beats someone making a mistake, our cumulative advice could have prevented.
The Thing Called Chance Does Not Exists – Francis Bacon
Yo life ain't no accident waiting to happen; So stop living like it is!!! – Me
SaneN85 Much Respect; And Thanks
Jay
I'm in a city where there are homeless people who make it a career (literally) to ask people every day on busy streets for money. They even have anti-iPod strategies to make you stop your flow to hear some long, drawn out story to evoke sympathy. These folks wear air force ones (not the fake ones), but demand a dollar–even though they may be wearing better shoes than me! I always keep on walking without pulling out the wallot.
Women at the club, same thing. It's the same sense of ENTITLEMENT: just because some of them dress up, invest their time, etc. they expect a handout. IT's really just more socially acceptable PANHANDLING, with no guarantee or expectation of mutual exchange. Note: those of you women who argue that getting a free drink does not equal a duty to spend more time with/go to bed with a dude would have to concede that taking a free drink IS panhandling because it is a totally non-reciprocal exchange, hoping that a dude feels emotionally compelled to give money he should keep himself.
So, if I don't give money to homeless people because I get nothing out of it, and if I believe that my money is for buying things I need/ real investing, then I don't see any reason to give a single girl who I don't really know, a 10 or 15 dollar bill or any other item of equal value just because I met them.
After all, what would you say if you saw a guy (or woman) take their hard earned cash every day, and burned a 10 dollar bill each time. You'd call them crazy.
That's exactly what tricking off drinks to women (with no real attachment to you) in a club is. It represents no respect for oneself, no respect for money, and ironically no respect for the women themselves–it presumes that a lady is a cheap prostitute whose time is so worthless it can be bought for only a gin and tonic.
I honestly think you're right, you should not buy a drink for someone you barely know. But you should also not expect much more than a thank you if you do choose to. I think purchasing starts at a thank you bare min and can lead up to a date, an opportunity to further get to know you, but you SHOULD NOT EXPECT TO GET LAID. You will be sadly mistaken and will have "wasted" your money.
Maybe I am the only one and one of the few, but find a guy buying a drink chilvary like. Huh?!!! Let me explain. See, not every action must have a reaction. Buying me a $15 drink doesn't mean to me that we must automatically smash, it means that you are being kind and would like to see me have a good time. Nowadays, you gotta question a brotha because you never know what he may be slipping in the drink. So, if a girl asks, don't take offense. If you aren't broke like you proclaim, buying her a drink won't break your bank. And, if you are prideful like many of the men I meet are, then skip the club because having a bank full of pride in the club is just going to make you look silly.
Case in point:
Let's say you see a fine dime piece. You walk over and try to talk to her with the loud music in the background. She shows some interest but not enough for you to compel her. If she refuses a dance, but takes the drink, it is wrong for you to get mad. You first off are in the club, and there are plenty others in the club who may be drunk enough to go home with you. Also, the bouncer is alright tight from these thugs that roll up looking for an opportunity to shoot someone, so getting in her face about a damn drink isn't worth the bouncer kicking your silly tail out.
This is so funny.
You're not looking for your future wife, are you?
You go to the club with the intentions of collecting numbers or trying to get a one-nighter. (this applies to those on the prowl)
If those are indeed your intentions, then you have entered a game of the sexes. If you like playing games, you have to play by all the rules (i.e buying drinks and hoping homechick's number isn't fake).
I don't go out expecting to meet someone special. I mean, come on, it's all an allusion at night clubs. Why do you think the cover charge is high and they make you get on VIP lists?
(sorry, that's the Hollywood scene)
This is why I prefer to be left alone when I do go out. I'm here for the music. Not the games.
As a man i don't buy women drinks unless she is almost drunk . I'd rather buy a dude a drink than a female cause I'd prolly get a free drink in the future. Stop tricking fella's, let these broke females buy their own drinks and dinners.