Men lie. Women lie. Numbers don’t. Unfortunately/fortunately, that’s not the point of today’s post. Miss Jenkins and I actually want to discuss the topic of lying and deceiving others as it relates to each gender. Yes, everyone lies, but we do it for different reasons at varying frequencies about different topics. We got into a heated (not passionate) discussion about the reasons that men and women lie to their significant others. And after a few exchanges, we agreed that the best place to hash this out was in the online arena. So, here we go…
Miss Jenkins: I think lying is wrong. That said, I don’t believe in telling all the truth, all the time. I do believe in the omission of truth or reserving the whole truth for when its necessary or warranted. Here’s why: Telling the truth can be risky depending on what “the truth” is, who you have to tell that truth to and under what circumstances you have to reveal that truth. Sometimes, we truthfully feel a certain way about the boopiece and our relationship–I think he’s acting up, I want out, I feel less attracted to him, etc. If asked to reveal that truth at that very moment, things could be really bad. So, instead, as I get my mind right, I like to take some heat off that truth until I get it together. Is that really wrong?
Slim Von Truth: I don’t believe that anybody should be answering any questions while they are excessively angry or feeling the effects of one of the dangerous and detrimental emotions. When I feel like being totally and brutally honest, I get away and regroup because I lose my ability to be articulate. Once I’ve gotten my thoughts together, I return and can answer questions. So no Miss Jenkins, that is not wrong and telling “the truth” or even half truths in some cases can be incredibly risky. I also feel that if someone is bold enough to ask a question that they deserve the right to an honest answer and should brace themselves for whatever that may be. And for whatever reason, I think women tend to walk this line of half-truths or outright lies more so than men.
MJ: Whoa. More so than men? Easy there tiger. Men lie like persian rugs. They don’t abide by your cardinal rule of telling the truth when a question is asked of them. I have asked questions, been prepared for the straight up honest answers, and have gotten the okie doke because dude didn’t want to deal with whatever the truth would bring their way, i.e. the break up, the argument, the tears, or the oops-upside-they-head. And maybe you are unlike many men out there, but let’s not bend the truth Mr. Jackson.
SVT: Yeah. I’ll bend something alright. Okay, I can admit that you made a good point. But this gets into the issue of why folks lie. Let’s assume that men lie to women for complete self-interest and not because “We just don’t wanna hurt ‘cha.” Women lie to men sometimes for the same reason, but how about all the occasions where yall actively or passively lie and put it on “we don’t wanna hurt y’all fragile ego”? Examples: faking an orgasm, fibbing about your magic number, or saying you never did something in the bedroom before even though you bounced that ass like a basketball and wopped it down like a pro know damn well you done did the hurricane squeeze trick on all your partners. If we had to gall to ask, let us deal with the consequences. After all, everybody (men included) should be accountable for all their actions right?
MJ: Wrong. Kinda. Let the woman you wifed up tell you that you are not the best she’d ever had. Drake. Or that she has slept with the whole offensive line. I have seen dudes get the stank-sad face when asked if I got the big O and I answered truthfully. I don’t like that look. That “Damn, I can’t find my puppy” look men get. So sue us for not wanting to hurt your ego (read: feelings) when you wanna know if you were the first man we did the ceiling fan thing with. And yeah, I’ll admit that we sometimes want to avoid the judgment. If you know my real numbers, are you gonna think I’m Ms. Loose N. Thang? I don’t mind adjusting the truth there. Then again, is it still a lie if you never find out the truth?
SVT: Is it still a lie if you never find out the truth? No wonder y’all make such excellent liars and deceivers. I’m just sayin’ that if a man is brave enough to ask a question, he deserves an honest answer. And if the answer isn’t quite nice, just word it tactfully. If you asked me how that dress looks on you and I said I never noticed how much your stomach sticks out, you’d have sad eyes too. You also wouldn’t ask my opinion next time. But if I just said I didn’t like that particular dress on you, it means I was honest but tactful and you wouldn’t huff, puff, and blow (not that way) a house down. And if you ask me if I think you eat too much after you went up 4 pant sizes, I’m going to say yes or that you need to go walk around the pond a few times because I don’t want you to think that eating 3 pizzas a week is okay. Same thing…sorta.
MJ:*Burp* I’m sorry. Did you say something?
SVT: o_O That’s f*ckin gross!
So what do the readers think on this one? Is lying okay? How about half truths? Do you want the honest truth each and every time you ask a question? Do you think one gender is predisposed to lying more so than the other? What else contributes to that? And lastly, what other types of things do people typically lie about? We know. That’s a lot of questions. Say whatever else you like. The End.
Saving Face and Preserving Egos,
P.S. Don’t forget to follow Miss Jenkins and Slim on Twitter at @3Ways2Takeit!