My homegirl Miss Jenkins wrote a post yesterday on Thirsty Chicks…and I ain’t talkin’ lack of H2O consumption. As I laughed heartily at her description of thirsty broads, I thought about my time here in NYC so far and the interactions I’ve had with women in the real world. When I lived in Boston for 5 years, I really didn’t get that many looks from women. Of course if I sparked up a conversation with someone, the dynamic changed but that requires effort and who wants to expend energy? I keed.
One thing that I’d like to point out is that I got more stank face (not to be confused with head from women with bad breath) from chicks in Boston. There was a point in time where I said I would never move to NYC and if I did, I’d run into a brick wall with women. I figured I’d have to practice my sales pitch with a stop watch to get it down to 15 seconds so that I could get her number before she got on that bus or train. Honestly, it’s been quite the opposite. Of course every city has it’s fair share of women from Stanky McLameville. I’ve experienced that, but I’ve also had a chance to experience the aggression with some thirst sprinkled in the mix.
As I’ve mentioned a few times before, I’m far from a Type A personality. I don’t need to be the center of attention at the party. I don’t post up hard-body (I just like that term) and holler aggressively at the many things that walk by. I don’t need to insert assert my manliness every time a chick comes around. I relax. I chill. I chat. I laugh. And many times while I’ve been doing all of this, I’ve been looked over by plenty of women and I’ve been fine with it. I expect that when I go out with my boys that they’ll do all the work and I’ll be left with the residual scraps or the decent looking stragglers that can’t talk to any of the other fellas because her girls are already in a dark room with them. The straggler realizes that I’m actually cool, funny, and a bunch of other pleasant things and suddenly we’re off to the races. Hey, ain’t nothing wrong with being Chris Bosh or Udonis Haslem when you got Lebron and Dwayne Wade on your team. All the wolves will eventually eat.
That was primarily before. This is now. I don’t know what happened, but suddenly I’m getting more attention from women than I’ve ever gotten in my life. I haven’t really changed anything about myself. I’m just as Type B as I was before and I’ve compared pictures and concluded that I’ve looked the same for the past 5-7 years. But now when I go out to lounges, bars, bbqs, or even into the subway station, I get looks and I get approached aggressively regularly. I mean they walk up to me, say I’m good looking, and quickly go for the number. One girl seriously walked into a pillar trying to catch me before I got on a train. It was the perfect opportunity to call her out, but nice guys don’t do that. And whatever is happening for me in NYC is proof that nice guys can win consistently with ease.
This also brings up another issue. If I’m starting to see how easy this game can be just by showing up places, then I know the season veterans have no desire to commit and there really isn’t a motivation for it. Attention is nice. Buns are nice too. Throw quality company into the mix. Why not have all 3 for free without the hassle of commitment? Damn, it all makes sense now. This is dangerous. I just realized I’m a catch. It’s a good thing I’m not reckless with the D-slanging. Though a stank face can most certainly get slapped by it.
So for today, I’m wondering if anybody else has experienced the phenomenon where one day they just wake up and suddenly they’re getting crazy amounts of attention? Where are the other cities where women/men get a bad rap, but they actually turn out to be cool? What things might be responsible for this sudden shift? Is it age? Is light-skinned really winning? For the women, which is most of you, are you still chasing the Type A alpha (Not in the greek way at all) males or are you showing love to the Type B laid back brothers out there? Other thoughts? Share ’em.
It’s Nice to Feel S*xy in a New City,
Twitter: @slimjackson @3ways2takeit
I honestly can't explain it. I end up going for the weird ones. And not weird in a bad way. Cuz weird is sexy to me. They're the laid back types that think a lot, have a lot to say, very random and have that low-key handsomeness about them. And as I think this, I gotta cross my fingers and hope these h0es don't realize they're going after the Wrongs.
I had my time in hs when no one paid that much attention to me. Yeah okay, I was a tomboy and I was one of those "oh she's cool people" types. As soon as I get to college and 147miles away from Brooklyn, everyone has a comment about how I've changed or look different and now you want to know, "What's guu?" I feel like age always has a bug part to play in this. And along with age should come maturity [for most but not all]. But yeah, I didn't know how to take compliments when they started.. But the attention has died down a bit..among peers at least. Now I get the older guys coming through home depot commenting on my looks. I turn purple every time. Still don't know how to take a compliment. I'm learning though.
Nice post Mr. You're so hot.
Taking compliments is interesting. I really don't know how to respond to some of the stuff.lol.
This some ole BS lol. What's wrong w/ "What's guuuu?". I think that is the best conversation started. 40% of the time it works 140% of the time. Eff yo couch son lol
Lmao @ fcuk yo couch. What's guu is so retarded. I slap myself every time I say it out loud lol
Fcuk on your couch. What's guuuuu w/ that
No comment. I need to find you once my dramatic chipmunk goes up. I'll be sure to mention you in that post. No fcuking on MY couch. 🙂
Well, Slim I have always went for the B type guy laying back in the cut…and its due time that you got your shine my brothat. lol…I'm thinking Boston wasn't ready for a brotha like yourself..but, there are alot of women in NYC and the mentality is different in NYC..everyone knows that.
I don't think light-skinned is back..but, I think its on the upswing. lol. I keed, too. lol. I find my self being attracted to a fair amount of light-skinned brothas..hell, I have loved Shemar Moore for foreva.
I gets no attention in Philly…..but, as soon as I hit my home turf..the DMV…. my shine goes up exponentially…its very interesting…but, I like it. Philly men show me no love they look at me like I'm some kinda alien life form….thats cool tho…my current SO is outta the DMV….that is always where I get the most attention anway.
Slim, don't question it enjoy it! 🙂
viva Shemar even after that braid-wig and folded bandana?
BWHAHAHAHAHA!! I was thinking the same thing.
I prefer to focus on Criminal Minds Shemar…. I like to pretend like he didn't exist before that lol
I used to love Shemar Moore until I saw him in real life…he was really greasy. And my dude was wearing some extra-personal stonewashed jeans with wingtips (no socks) and a blazer with NO SHIRT underneath…it was too corny for words.
What year was this? I seriously hope it was no time in this decade….
I've been riding with Shemar ever since Young & The Restless…and he is also fine on Criminal Minds…yessir! 🙂
Toni – it's been a while but it was definitely in this century….and really – when would that look ever have been okay??
I thought I was the only one that noticed that about Philly. But really I think they just have an aversion to attractive women :/ Their loss.
Women will ALWAYS chase Alpha males.
That is all.
o_O And there'll always be too many of 'em at the party eating bananas and picking bugs off each other.
Sorry. You made me go there.lol.
LOL.. You know what he meant dog….
For the women, which is most of you, are you still chasing the Type A alpha (Not in the greek way at all) males or are you showing love to the Type B laid back brothers out there?
Well, i tend to gravitate towards type b cause type A does too much in my opinion sometimes. I like someone who can be relax & chill (i love to just sit, talk, watch movies/listen to music, that sort of stuff) and not be in the spotlight all the time because that's the way i am. I have dated type A dudes & when it came to being in public, there was way too much attention, which is something i don't like (i like my personal business, other than what i am willing to share, to remain that way).
Ever since i came to Cali for my sorority's boule, I've gotten SO much male attention and i'm not quite used to that. I'm short, quirky and nerdy in a sense and guys don't seem to go for that…but what they see is physical (my hair stays in a bun but they speculate as to how long my hair is) and i know there is more to any person than that. I guess when you are in a new place, it's easy to get a lot more attention because you are someone they have never seen before and the air of mystery is sexy in some people's opinion.
That's funny, when I go for a while with my hair in a bun, most people are shocked when I let it down. I don't think I've ever had any person (male or female) speculate on how much hair I've had when it's up like that.
The bun is my favorite hairstyle…its professional & makes me look just a BIT older! Someone definitely speculated this weekend and his guess was still a few inches off to the actual length! I think most who know me already know my hair is long so they don't care but others have seen pictures & know as well.
Alpha males have a big ego…. Which I find unattractive. I love down to earth men!
BTW I saw your picture on twitter and I find you very sexy.. #Thirsty
# kanyeshrug lol
Welcome! Yes, you may wanna be careful complimenting these mens, someone somewhere will think you are thirsty. LOL
Thanks Ma'am 🙂
Yesterday, i saw Slim's post on SBM's Twitter account and I stumbled across his photo… So, I was a little surprised by this post.
I think most women are attracted to attractive men that don't have a huge ego. So, I'm sure it's the total package that makes Slim "Suddenly Hot". A man's demeanor can speak volumes.
Damn straight -_- lol
Thirst is not in a compliment.lol. Thirst would be if every morning you sent me a good morning and every night a good night and you laughed at every single thing I said even when I purposely tried to not be funny. That…is thirst. What you're doing is more than welcomed.lol.
naw she thirsty
i think its all amusing how the dynamics and rules change once youve left one region and moved into another. i believe type A males over compensate for certain things most of the time (spoken with conviction because i have experienced it too many times) then ones that watch and observe are the ones i seek out because they usually have good conversation and have nothing to prove.
i will say i usually do not experience much in little ol maryland btu every now and then i put my medical books aside and head down to DC and to say the least i am fascinated by the type of men i attract. i always want to pick their brain about why they want to engage in conversation or pursuit of me, not for insecurities sake but for inquiry sake. Most all eventually turn out to be "iffy" but i enjoy the experience. i find it funny to say the least
Regarding types–Well Slim, let me say that Type A is nice but Type B can be a breath of fresh air.
Regarding skin colour–Who cares about the colour of someone's skin when we are all the same colour in our hearts?!? I mean, really, colour-followers need to evolve, like now.
Regarding attention–Let me say that of late I find younger men are giving me so much attention…and I mean like TEN years younger than me…I don't mean to sound ageist at all, I am just feeling all flattered-ist is all…
Happy Tuesday everyone 🙂
Happy Tuesday indeed. Any reason you think the attention is showing up as of late from the young bucks?
Hmmm, good question and I am not sure! I am 33 years old and am really getting "settled" professionally, personally, etc. Men my age seem to be intimidated by it but the "young bucks" as you call them seem strangely drawn to it. Earlier getting "settled" meant marrying and having kids, the white picket fence, etc…..maybe today getting "settled" means getting all your stuff together…what do you think? Oh, and maybe the younger ones are getting attracted to me because I smell good…like a fresh lily, just like my moniker! You take care Slim 🙂
Long time lurker here… first time post.
You attract men TEN years younger, I wish. I'm in my mid twenties and the only men that approach me are very late 30's all the way to early 50's. "Where they do that?" I'm an etiquette consultant and grad student by day, but my look isn't stuffy. IDK I wanna be like you when I grow up.
Lies, I know I've seen you posting somewhere. I just can't remember where. Well, I'll give you a tentative welcome until I remember. LOL
Sooo, you want boys in their teens to hit on ya? 🙂
sane! that is not very welcoming of you! we might have to remove you as chair of the committee.
I fear that my joking is not coming across well today. To be clear, I am just playin, and I hope that I haven't scared you from comment in the future.
Little Miss Sunshine: My title is mostly self-proclaimed, so I'm not sure it can be taken from me. LOL 😛
I tend to attract either a bit younger than me (like 4 years but sometimes high schoolers) but sometimes i dudes much older than me (like in their thirties) try to hit on me…both groups make me feel uncomfortable…its hard out there for a sista, huh?
well that's good for you but ive been getting an influx of UNWANTED attention. men over 40 keep approaching me interested in who knows what. and im no stuck up chick but you cant be asking me my age and then saying "shoot…i got kids your age. anyway, can we date?" no, thank you! ive done the over 40, not all that attractive dude. theyre boring. not in the sense that their not tryna be up in the club because really neither am i but the whole "been there, done that" syndrome is a fierce epidemic.
I personally need a Type B. It will be like a balancing act. I need someone chill to tone all the crazy isht that I have going on. As for thirsty females. In NYC, I've seen a shift lately and I don't know where its coming from. I won't call the females that I know "thirsty",because that's just sad, but they are more "aggressive". Its a battlefield out there, and everyone is on the hunt to find a man. Eh! I see females doing more work. Researching guys, asking for the number, and putting in effort to show that they are interested. As for me, I do find more guys at the gym checking me out, maybe because I stopped being lazy. Plus,I have a friend that has like the perfect body, and she pulled out a snicker while I was doing weight training, and started eating it.Now they are annoyed with her, and all the attention is elsewhere..weird..
LMAO at your friend pulling out a snickers at that the gym. That certainly is not fancy.lol.
I swear I hate slim lololol
There is no room for hate in this house.lol.
This post seems so familiar. Oh wait, it is! The same thing happened to me after I had a baby. I can't walk down the street without a guy hitting on me. Well, I guess I'm a type B as well. I'm not the attention seeker. I'm more laidback and chill. Before, guys weren't coming up to me as much. Now, its a different story. You be surprised by how many times I've gotten this line: I have a job, I'll take care of you and your baby. Umm, what??? Lol.
They know you effing #coonlogic
Slim at least you get the chicks who come up to you and talk & sh*t. I get the girls who just come stand near me and flutter their eyelashes making it all awkward and what not. They over here positioning themselves for the bag. I see you on this train everyday and everyday you manage to be in the same car, near the same door? Shenanigans!!
ah hahahaha!!! Next time just be like "can I help you with something?" and before she answers say "just because you're standing here doesn't mean that I'm going to hit on you" and walk away… their face will be priceless! O_O
That's just mean. I'm the nice guy even though I did tell Slim that starting on Sunday I am going to be a d!ck. Just b/c its fun no real reason behind it
No it's not! Lol it's giving them a reality check!
"I get the girls who just come stand near me and flutter their eyelashes making it all awkward and what not. They over here positioning themselves for the bag."
bruh, i swear i don't like that ish. matter of fact i don't like getting stared at period. which happens period, from men and women. like what the h*ll are you looking at?
How could being rude make a dude want to holler? It doesnt make sense
As someone stated above, I seem to get a lot of unwanted attention. Older men. Extremely younger men. Rick Rawse looking a$$ ninjas. *shrugs*
Perhaps I do need to move geographically b/c overall I feel as though NJ/NY dudes show me no love. I'll give a guy the "green light" to holler and he doesn't. But ole' Jeromey-Rome with him I've been avoiding eye contact will come right up to me.
Just thinking about this gives me a headache. Maybe I'm not aggressive enough, but I feel as though I subtly show my interest w/o sweating a dude.
I feel your pain… dudes over here hardly ever show me love… and the guys that I'd be remotely, if that, interested think that they are way too good… SMH…
I find myself getting more love from men that are out of town and come here to visit or when I go out of town…. *shrugs*
Yeah man. Ain't no love in the heart of the city. Jay-Z
Perhaps I do need to move geographically b/c overall I feel as though NJ/NY dudes show me no love. I’ll give a guy the “green light” to holler and he doesn’t. But ole’ Jeromey-Rome with him I’ve been avoiding eye contact will come right up to me.
^^^I feel the same way…like maybe i need to move or something cause things just isn't workin for me, romance wise!
And I.Hate.That! no one called you over here, go back over there bruhman and while you are headed back, send over your friend! But then again, since the friend didn't have the gall to step to you, they both are going to #lose.
well having met you slim- I have to say you are indeed cool… but you're tall. Have you seen the ratio of short to tall men out here? Unless a girl wants to put her man on her back you're out there in the streets looking like a diamond around glass. Okay maybe not glass but CZ.
I have a habit of falling for friends and I tend to make friends with type B guys. I need a guy that I feel can not only banter with me but check me every once in a while and usually a type A guy is too worried about himself (no kappa).
In high school was definitely underrated but I hated where I was and spent my time glued to the books… once I began discovering who I was in undergrad- man o man.
c/s the tall part
I mean, I know I def don't want to be able to sling my man on my hip and tote him around like my 18 month old nephew.
The tall men market is on a rapid decline. So much so, I'd take a man that was 5'10 or 5'11 with a Coke and a smile. And I'm 5'8
You know I got love for the women 5'8 and up, but we've had this discussion before, Ms. Former Volleyball Player. That sling on the hip comment was hilarious.
See the only issue is your love for tall women isn't in NJ,lol
But I appreciate it nonetheless
I can effs w/ 5'8 and higher and 5'4 and higher. Those tweeners? naw chill
@Peyso did you mean 5'4 and under? cuz 5'4 and higher is not in between, lol.
@ Reecie – You got what I meant
Ya know. I still don't really think of myself as that tall. That is a good point though. Given that the average fellow is like 5'9, I do kinda tower over people at some functions…though not awkwardly. Cheers to being 6'1 but looking 6'2 at times.lol.
Oh, and lmao at a girl carrying her man on her back.
Its nuts that in college I was short. I was a 6ft Dlineman (I was considered undersized). I graduated and now 6ft is tall. #Whowouldthunkit?
for a dude i consider anything under 6'2" short. that's just me though.
Of course you would.. you 8ft 13 dude!
waaait madscientist you're tall too?
LMAO @ Little Sunshine
Mad's stock just skyrockted with the public knowledge of his height,lol
don't let streetz fool you. i'm not that tall. i'm 6'6".
and my stock doesn't need to skyrocket. it's already on mars. j/k but not really. 😉
THAT IS TALL! Hmph…don't be modest "not that tall"…you got damn near a foot on me!
Yo, 6'6 is mad tall. That's a height at which you will always scare white people. That's also a height at which you could claim to be an NBA player and bag 'em up. No wonder you think 6'1 is short.
You do realize that as of late tall has fell on 5'10 right?
*helps Little Sunshine up and waves fan in her face*
I didn't think you were actually 8ft…but dang!!!
Like Sunshine said, your height is gasp and swoon worthy….when tall is considered 5'10
@MS7 – So most of the population is short? Nothing in between
"THAT IS TALL! Hmph…don’t be modest “not that tall”…you got damn near a foot on me!"
i know i'm tall but not the 8'13" that streetz claimed i was. lol
"Yo, 6’6 is mad tall. That’s a height at which you will always scare white people. That’s also a height at which you could claim to be an NBA player and bag ‘em up. No wonder you think 6’1 is short."
maybe that's why white people are always staring at me. *shrug* claiming to be a nba player? never thought to do that.
you look young, so they assume college ball. but I'm surprised NBA doesn't come up… start telling folks you play for the Grizzlies. lmao
Fam when i met you @ the Greek I swear I was standing on a lil hill. I was like THIS N*GGA SIX TEN?!!! lmaooo
Nah but 6ft 6 is straight. Yall trees dont scurr me.
You can def perp NBA though. You know I wouldve had 1/2 the picnic thinking you was K. Durant. Watch! lol
@streetz. yep, i would have liked to see some gullible chick fall for that one. lol
@peyso. i just call em like i see em.
6'6" though Mad? well Goooooooood Damn! If I ever met you, you'd need a microscope to see me (I'm 4'11")…good jeebus!
The “hotter in a different city” thing is new to me. Maybe I should move. But I have noticed once I hit 25, women started to approach me more. I guess the saying “a woman is and a man must become” is true.
In regard to your other question, all women are attracted to the alpha and most will go after the alpha. They will settle for the beta, especially when they realize they have no chance at the alpha. I’m more of a laid-back guy too, and I realize women many more women approach me now than my younger years. I guess when a woman is young, it is more interesting to go after the dominant and eccentric types, and when a woman hits around 26 or 27, the laid-back guy with a house and good job becomes more attractive to settle down with.
And you haven’t seen stank face until you’ve been to Milwaukee. Funny how I can go 90 miles south and see Chicago women much less stankfacitude.
that's because chicago women are amazing and every man should have one. no bias.
Chicago women are amazing. I haven't met one that I haven't liked…yet.
that kinda sounds like a threat.
Hmmm its weird but I went from a good amount of attention in HS to like no attention in college (no idea why. Granted I wasn't on campus all that much…it plays on your psyche a bit) and now I'm back to receiving tons of attention. I went to college in a different city than my hometown and back in my hometown. So I guess I just wasn't the look my college town wanted.
I only go for nice, mysterious, slighty shy types. They're usually more interesting…and I'm weird, so I don't need the cool kid who wants to impress any and everybody just to fit in. Lol
When I meet women, a good number of them are always surprised at "how interesting" I am. A couple of times I had to be like "what did you expect? A pile of bricks?"
When i met you, you were really nice & down to Earth but i didn't expect any different from reading your blog…I guess people just expect too little of others these days…*shrug*
I don't get crazy amounts of attention from guys my own age bracket..
I'm thinking that since I don't "feel" 31 (32 in 3 weeks) then somehow this has made me look younger (dont' knock it) and younger men LOVE me.. i mean 21-26 year olds.. i'm like "my brother is your age.. you can be friends"
Me and LaBakir have talked about this nonstop! The older ones just can't get enough of me either.. Miami/Ft. Lauderdale men run round here feelin like Rawse.. to find one that says he appreciates brain (Pause) and actually means it is like moving to Florida and expecting to wear your mink coat.. #NeverGonnaHappen..
i like the type B personality.. i'm hyper, so i appreciate anything that can calm me down.. (Music, Movie, Man etc..) i dated a type A and he was a Diva Dude without any reason to be so.. i like them mellow and laid back.. i don't want the one that needs to have all the attention in the club..
There are some days where i wake up and i feel like the planets are all in alignment (face,hair,body) and nobody can handle me.. but the men down here, they like a different breed of chick.. and i'm not bohemian, but i don't fit the mold..
it makes for some interesting times (to say the least)
i think the shift is that women are realizing that type A personalities isn't always where it's at.. and since women catch on to things before men (because we're smarter) then I expect the men to pick up on the trend in about 10 years.. #IJokeIKid
Nick: "i like the type B personality.. i’m hyper, so i appreciate anything that can calm me down.."
Interesting. I'm pretty laid back and I always attract women that are more…(searching for PC word)… loquacious than I am. I always hear comments about how I calm them down and give them peace, even though I'm not consciously doing anything to tell them to settle down.
I don't even know what it is.. it's like, so many dudes are tryin to match my hyper nature.. it's not a good look for all parties concerned..
matter of fact, some of my favorite memories are of sitting on the couch watching jeopardy.. or reading a book..
i've only met one dude that could calm me down.. even my musical tastes reflect the calm i look for (instrumentals and what i call "haunting" music).. my prayer this year has been to find this calm on my own.. a lot of people mistake my being hyper as my being young.. i just have a lot of energy.. doesn't mean i'm 25..
This is just b/c we aint met yet
Nick, I believe they call that "adhd" lol.
And I'm salty that you're older than me, btw.
Teflon Temptress where you been? Is it just me or have you been scarce around here lately?
We need to get you on twitter where we can keep better tabs on you.
i love that you used loquacious…
that's not me by the way…
why you gotta be salty i'm older than you.!? GIRL!! you can have these years, i don't want em!! LOL!
"yes peyso.." (insert eye roll here) they always think they can..
hush it. You're a pop tart. Sweet in the middle
Max: Teflon Temptress where you been? Is it just me or have you been scarce around here lately?"
She gets a pass, she's planning for her exchange of nuptials.
Nick_L_Odeon: "i love that you used loquacious…
that’s not me by the way…"
Probably not the best word, but the hyper tend to be talkative.
why you gotta be salty i’m older than you.!? GIRL!! you can have these years, i don’t want em!! LOL!"
If it's of any solace, I believe I'm one of the elder statesmen here.
Hahaha… Slim you just need to accept the fact that you are very good looking…. acceptance… embrace it… – Peyso, you too… lol
I've always tend to be the "initiator" or I guess "aggressive" (but not really) type. If I like some one or I see them looking my way and I like what I see I will approach and make contact… what sometimes irks me about Type Bs is that they don't know how to take it. Pause. The attention that sometimes they are given might be too much for them or too new, hence this post, but you're handling it very well Slim. Because of this sudden shift, men don't know what to do, maybe they're too surprised and shut down the other person. Hate that.
Maybe it's in the water? I have yet to see that happen here in Deportation Capital City USA… although, I've made the conscious decision of hanging out where Type As mostly hang out.. I've learned that it's all about them, and that's just not sexy to me… where's the rest of you? and by that I mean, your mind. Told that to a dude, cussed me out and left.. best dinner ever lol…
Oh and that pix… *sigh* yeah… good call… lol
Oops! meant to say I've made the conscious decision of NOT hanging out where Type As hang out.
lmao- are you in arizona?
Yup! I can't be driving around looking Messikan… gotta have my papers with me at all time! LMAO!!!!
I have a cousin in Tuscon who is guam/black but looks straight latino, and another cousin who got our Colombian genes through and through. They were hanging out yesterday and got pulled over with the side-eye. I just cannot deal with that ratchet state!
Ugh!!! I know what you mean! I am ashamed that I'm from this state. I'm just waiting to see what this federal law suit against AZ is going to do and if it is really going to make a difference.
Type B is the new Type A.. Thirty is the new 20.. And ground turkey is the new hamburger!
U aint ready for it!!
I weep for the future if dry ground turkey is the new hamburger.
Ewwww. dry a** turkey ground beef is like powder wheat going down your throat, as soon as something wet touches it expands and chokes you.
Didn't have time to really read all the comments, but from what I've noticed is that self improvement leads to improvement of your experiences with the opposite sex. All this stuff is just a reflection of what is going on with you in your life. Do better in life on the inside, get a raise, go to the gym a few extra times a month. After a while your whole aura switches up and you don't notice.
you are absolutely correct!
Oh wow, I'm a fairly attractive single woman but I can't bring myself to approach guys FIRST! No matter how attractive they are I still believe if a man is interested he'll approach me. Now of course I do my part as a woman in being approachable with my bright smile and dimples but that's the only way we'll ever know our place in this universe is if "Mr. Attractive" approach me.
I found here in CA it's almost as if men expect you to approach them, Not the case in LA. I still can't figure out what that's about. But this was a great post. I have to go read the one on thirsty females. Crazy..I think these women are probably making hard for all of us.
Do you position yourself for the bag though?
Do you position yourself for the bag though?
PEYSO, please expound.
What I mean by this is that in my experiences when a girl wants you to holler they make sure that you have to speak to them. It is a bit more modern that droppin your pen on the floor. Its more along the lines of making sure you're at the bar at the same time as me or maybe taking a little long at the buffet bar. I've had girls ask me for drink recommendations. Its an easy way to start the convo and give him an in b/c quite frankily that often time is the hardest part of the convo.
I knew that comment had a teaching moment behind it!
That's a good suggestion…If he is not interested than it seems friendly..if he is interested it gives him a go.
This post reminds me of what happened the first time I went to Atlanta…you guys know that the men here are stale food and I've become accustomed to not getting much attention at all. Then all of a sudden I hit Peachtree and everybody's checking for me. I had dudes sending me poems through the waitress and following me around and ish. I was feeling myself. I wanted to move there until I did some research and…let's just say I'm not sure Atlanta is the place for me.
Also – I'm all about the Type A. I like a high maintenance, looky-looky type of dude (#nodrjay). I'm low-key enough for both of us.
You know that (#nodrjay) is a lie. #justsayin LOL
When I was in FL I complained about all that attention. I even wonder If I smelled something strange (that only men could smell) to have them turn into some kind of wolves chasing me. Maybe my pheromones level raised. I have been to several countries and never experienced lack of it as I do in Toronto. I was wondering what was wrong with… them (or me). No need to say it felt good to go to ''home'' and feel desirable again.
In Toronto, people hit on me at work, the 1st time I set one straight then the word went out around the office that I had a temper.
When I was in HS, boy weren't checking for me
because they new I wasn't having sex. Hit college, a little attention, but nothing out of the ordinary. Then, Senior year rolls around, and dudes I had known for 3 years are checking me. Granted, I had lost some weight, so I went from the cool girl NIA, to the chick I wanna f*ck NIA. lol.
I'm a chill, cute Type B, and I find that Type B brothas aren't really checking for me. I get more play from the Type A, possible because they think I'll be more impressed by all that bottle popping, flossing, "I am ALPHA hear me roar" shit than the Type A, in your face, "look at me" female.#NIAshrug.
And light-skin ain't winning a darn thing.
:o( What about "caramel-skinned" dudes? Can we get some love up in here??
caramel is always in. catch up, Eddie. 😉
I heart you Reecie :0)
Eddie, I thought you might done fled the country or something. I guess you've just been lurking. I've been wanting to link this picture up here for you for a minute and am just now getting around to it, sorry…
This is my Boondock Saint's poster, and very few appreciate the movie, so I needed someone to share in my excitement.
Nah, the subject matter up in here really hasn't applied to me as of late so I just log in, look around and bounce.
[although I have seen/been reading comments from some girl that looks just like you on VSB]
And you know I definitely appreciate that pic. Can't wait until I buy a real house with a basement and I can hang up movie posters. :0)
Have you seen the DTV sequel yet? It just looks so lame in comparison to the original I can't bring myself to watch it on Comcast.
Yeah, I'm a steady VSB lurker and every once in a while I'll get the urge to comment. Then I'll get like 50 people pointing out that I have a different experience/view/take on something and that I need more people. LOL That and the sheer volume of comments is enough to discourage me. 🙂
I don't know if I'm being slow today or what, but I can't place what DTV is at the moment. Please enlighten me.
Yeah, some of the responses in VSB tend to remind me of watching hungry pirannahas on Animal Planet. But I know you're more than capable of holding your own against them.
And DTV = direct to video. Makes it easier to get your movie out when you know a studio won't finance it.
Oh, I knew that. I thought you were referring to some other movie franchise I may have mentioned before. LOL
Actually, the sequel wasn't that bad. I can't stand Julie Benz, so she ruined it for me and her part was super cheesy. Other than that though, it was pretty decent. Definitely worth a watch.
I can handle my own, but I don't come on these sites to get another reminder of why I am non-traditional in every sense, I like to relate to people. LOL It just so happens that I've experienced life differently than others, go figure.
Meh. Julie Benz, I can take her or leave her. I've only seen her in a few projects [Buffy/Angel, the Punisher, Dexter, Rambo] and I can name other actors/actresses way worse than her.
But just on your say-so I'll check out the sequel [but with no Willem Dafoe can't see how this'll live up to the original].
-Sorry for thread jacking. I'll let you go back to discussing why Slim'll be guest starring in the next Sex and the City flick. :0)
you went from ashy to classy. Applause all around! lOL
I don't know how to call it man. You know I think Boston sucks, so when you are in a location like NYC with a plethora of women of all varieties, the chances of you getting that shine are tripled. Women here can be a lil more aggressive (a reflection of NY culture), and you have those attributes that on glance will make women go for the gold. PLus you got the bald head black man swindle that has been working since Othello. Can't even hate!
Embrace and enjyo bretheren!
You know I think a lot of women who read blogs are into Type B dudes. Think about it, as a female blog reader (gossip blogs don't count)… I obviously have some sort of intellect, a thirst (no pun) for new knowledge, and an interest in connecting with people beyond their facial features. It would stand to reason that most of the commenters would prefer or have been attracted to a Type B guy. I like a man I can learn something from… I looooove a sense of humor and I don't like flamboyance. I like to laugh at flamboyance… but I don't want it accompanying me to a party. Lol.
I said all this to say… I prefer Type B. Lol.
This makes a lot of sense. You get 2 finger snaps.
Thanks Slim… I like to think I make sense every now and again.
The attention I personally get… interesting.
Of course Jeromy-Rome (thanks LaBakir) is ALWAYS tryna holla. I think they don't have anything to lose so they are like "why not?!"
I never get the guy I like! Ugh. It's so frustrating… I think I'm pretty. I think I'm interesting. I think I'm smart too. The clean cut Type B doesn't feel compelled to talk to me for some reason. It sux. .:: pouty face ::.
I never get the guy I like! Ugh. It’s so frustrating… I think I’m pretty. I think I’m interesting. I think I’m smart too. The clean cut Type B doesn’t feel compelled to talk to me for some reason. It sux. .:: pouty face ::.
YES!!!!! There's even been moments where I THOUGHT a dude and I was vibing…and I mustered up some courage and asked for his number…and not yield favorable results.
I was at a party Saturday… One dude was the life of the party… of course we interacted & he liked me (I felt the vibes) because I'm a funny girl. I didn't want him. Lol. I STAYED clue-ing in the Type B dude over to the side. Kept pulling him into the conversation… NO YIELD. Whomps.
@ So FLYY maybe he wasnt feeling you. I dont know
Well d@mn. That was like a dagger to the heart. I mean its not skin off my nose b/c I didn't know him like that, however it kills me b/c this situation is a typical illustration of what normals goes down. Are they ALL not interested?!
EXACTLY! No interest at ALL?!!!!!
Becoming a nun eliminates all this madness,lol
You and LaBakir are buggin. I met the latter half of this targeted message and you should be winning in the game right now.lol. I'd really be curious to truly see what's happening in these odd scenarios.
@ Slim…well thank you
But trust me…I'm not. How would one explain the current drought situation?
Thanks but I agree w/ LaBakir… the drought is REAL. Lol. I start conversations…. all of that. I used to think that these men were thinking I couldn't really be interested in them, b/c I'm outgoing, motivated and cute as button. However, I felt a little cocky saying that like I was drinking my own kool-aid w/ that theory.
@ So FLYY
LMAO!!!! Clearly we both need a crash course in "vibe judging"
Because I've definitely been like "he's feeling me" *insert flirtatious grin* for nothing to happen afterwards,lol
Maybe the men are just oblivious? Giggles and little nods can easily be mistaken for friendliness.
@ So Fly & @ LaBakir – If ya not winning in the game, something is wrong with the game as a whole.
I'm assuming this [pause] was for the sux comment. Got it. Lol.
nah it was for Slims 2 snaps <del> in Z formation</del> comment lol
Yeah, that was super pause-ible.
When I read that an image of Antwan Mayweather and Men on Films popped in my head.
You can't add "z formation" to my finger snaps to make it pausable man. I'm throwing the challenge flag on the field.
good point. excellent even.
I actually like type As and Bs. but I'm a conflicted indecisive Libra with no "type" so if you do it for me, you do it for me.
I can't even say if I'm a type A or B…I'm loud and fiesty, but I think I probably lean more to B personally.
"I don’t know what happened, but suddenly I’m getting more attention from women than I’ve ever gotten in my life. "
DUH, Slim, it's because you changed your cartoony avatar to the real thang. Ain't nothin' like the real thang. Tammi.
"So for today, I’m wondering if anybody else has experienced the phenomenon where one day they just wake up and suddenly they’re getting crazy amounts of attention?"
When I started rockin' my glasses! Angular frames are a BEAST. The glasses compliment my face and it wasn't just more attention, it was the TYPE of attention. A big butt and a smile ain't the only thang…if you rock glasses too? Jackpot! 🙂
That's why I drew a distinction and said the real world. These women don't know anything about my online life. That's what makes it more intriguing.
Yeah, that was my default answer before reading anything else…and I stuck to it. lol
Hmm…my glasses aren't helping me in that capacity at all!
I loooooooove a man in glasses. #swoon
So FLYY: "I loooooooove a man in glasses. #swoon"
Hmmm. Maybe I need to stop wearing my contacts so often.
I think this is a great idea. However, the current S/O might have to start beatin b*tches back w/ a stick. We don't want that now do we?
So FLYY: "I think this is a great idea. However, the current S/O might have to start beatin b*tches back w/ a stick. We don’t want that now do we?"
Of course we do! I wouldn't mind seeing the current S/O giving another chick a black eye for checking me out. I call that foreplay.
Yaaay near-sightedness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :0P
"So for today, I’m wondering if anybody else has experienced the phenomenon where one day they just wake up and suddenly they’re getting crazy amounts of attention?"
no. i haven't. i've always gotten attention from the opposite sex. i'm a nice guy. i'm tall, handsome, dark-skinned, intelligent and out going. *shrug* i would hope i got attention from the opposite sex. #onmycockyish
as far as type a personalities
*hit submit by accident*
…i don't really mesh too well with them. i'm a laid back type dude and these dudes seem to do too much in my opinion.
Sounds like someone went HAM and stepped up his # count at the MIH BBQ in Bk on sunday
I don't know why, but foreign dudes in any setting seem to love me. Whether I'm in a foreign land, on a cruise ship or the foreign man is here, they enjoy them some Anna, lol. Maybe I have "green card" written on my forehead in invisible ink.
And occasionally, I'm hot just because. Don't know why, because I look the same pretty much every day – but some days men were like "Dang that Anna is hot!" and some days they were like, "Dang that Anna is extra regular!"
As far as guys – I can't tell you what my "type" was back in the day, because my dating choices had no rhyme or reason. The only thing I was allergic to was diva-dudeness.
Awww… "In two years Dwayne Wayne became Dwayne Wade and hey…" That's the way it goes. I've seen it with dudes I've known almost since the womb. I experienced this myself when I first moved to NYC. I went from the chick next door to the chick dudes were breakin their necks to check out. I think I became (and maybe you are too) more aware of people than before…. perhaps you weren't always so observant? But really, I chop it up to the energy one puts off being in a new city and maybe, just maybe, coming to realize how much of a catch you are. That ish is attractive like a motherfather.
Think it's a bit of everything dude. I too got the stank face in Boston. But with the plethora of women that NYC has, you're bound to have an audience. Could also be that at our age, women are starting to look past the flashy dude for the dude with some substance (and a great job). A real catch, not a big fish with no weight.
Nonetheless, ride that wave and let me know if she has cute friends!
Mike Jones!!! Back than they didnt want want me now Im HOT they all on me…. with that being said when I was in HS I definitely went for the Alpha male.. whew talk about some serious headaches and heartbreaks fast forward to today being 25. Beta types is wussup through time we all grow up and mature and we eventually find out what is best for us especially who we decide to keep as our company.
Ive never been the type of person to think that Im just the hottest. someone will ALWAYS do it better, faster, harder thank you. whats been my success is just having a "no compete clause"…I dont worry about the next man, I just do me to my best and let that stand alone to be judged, recognized, whatever you wanna call it. Consider myself to be "humbly arrogant" (which i know is a play on words), and the other factor is just being honest with women. alot of people feel they have to sneak around to A, B, and C, espically if that entails sleeping with various women. I look at a woman and just tend to tell the truth. sometimes that truth may not nessecarily be the truth that you want to hear, and it works in the opposite direction as well. but women have years down the line said to me "I appreicatte the fact that you were honest with me". if you are at peace with who you are and what you do, why front?
and can SOMEONE please tell me how to put my picture on here? my twitter link is good…but Im not feelin this snowman type icon.
You have to go to gravatar.com and upload a picture connected to the email address you use to comment here. 🙂
Have they put you on salary yet up in here or are you still on that pro bono basis????
Am I the only one who smells the group think? I feel like everyone puts their brain on cruise control before they comment. So slim is a type b, now erbody and they mama is a type b or longs to be with one. WTF. Does anyone on this blog dare to run in the opposite direction, switch the order of which they put on their socks, etc??? D@mn, I hope someone pens something this week that causes a displaced feather or two…
Slim, no offense because I appreciate your post and newly discovered hotness, but the comments were relatively carbon copies of each other. And to be honest, the comments are generally the most exciting part.
The comment I'm about to make would be the same regardless of the topic. I appreciate the candidness but it just seems a little off.
Everyday on the blog can't be battle dome. That's just not how it operates. I mean was someone supposed to say "Slim you ugly negro. I disagree. You have no reason to notice new hotness" and then list a bunch of reasons men ain't sh*t and that I'm full of myself?
I honestly don't know what to tell you. It almost sounds like you want the women bashing w/ people outraged type of posts. If you need people to be hostile or snapping at each other, you can go to cnn.com or any youtube video and you'll have all the excitement to last a lifetime.
Really not trying to be a jerk, but I feel like you just insulted the people that took time to comment. That, in my book, isn't cool. And as I always tell people, this is a free website with unpaid bloggers. I don't know how much you can expect when you aren't paying for anything.
this is why you're dope!!
thank you Slim…..
Just because we all seem to have some of the same ideologies on THIS topic does NOT mean that we are carbon copies of each other because we do vary in our opinions in other posts. Maybe the comments weren't as exciting to you as usual, so sorry about that, but if you came to judge those of us that comment based on how hyped it may or may not make you feel, then you've came to the wrong place. The people here voice their mind, whether it be in agreement or not, and it is evident in other posts.
Actually, I kinda was thinking the same thing. Everyone all of a sudden loves a type B dude? These are the same women that will next week say how they want a man to take charge and ask them on dates and blah blah blah?That is some BS.
However, I think its Slim's fault b/c he falsely positioned himself as a type B dude. So now the whole conversation has a terrible working definition of Type A vs Type B. Trust me, despite what these woman say they still want a Type A dude and most of them will end up with one. Slim is a Type A dude, he's just not a jerk. Women dont want jerks
VERY off topic but are u on facebook? I don't think you're on Twittuh. lol
I am thoroughly confused lol. I might just be missing the joke. I'm @Peyso. DM me for Facebook stuff
I don't think you understand how hard I stuffed my foot in my mouth just now. I feel slow as shit. :-X *HARD forehead slap* should have had a V8
Peyso, when it comes down to types, i do lean toward B more cause A generally never works out…I'm not one to deal with a dude that feels like he can overpower me all the time…that's how my father is and i don't want someone who is so much like him in that sense. I like a dude that I can just BE with and the type A's i've dated were not always like that.
Perhaps I didn't explain myself very well, because I think ya'll took it in the direction that I didn't intend. I don't want battledome or people going at each other's throats. I just like to read other opinions and points of view that don't all necessarily mirror that of the person who wrote the post. You follow?
Wasn't trying to be an e-thug…
Slim, I run my own blog, so I feel you, but not really. I didn't comment on the quality or depth of byour post; matter of fact, my initial comment stated nothing negative for you, so I'm not sure why you address the "free-ness" of the blog. Did I miss something in my haste?