Home Throwback The Claim Game Part Deux

The Claim Game Part Deux


Whether you hit a house party, a club, wedding, or other social gathering with groups of friends, you’ll always come across a team of people that the crew is feeling. One of the funniest situations between men and women when it comes to courting, is something I like to call “The Claim Game”. We’ve played this game many times. The situation occurs when someone, who previously showed interest in a friend or colleague, now wants to holla at you. You go to your friend requesting a Carfax (scouting report) on the individual to find out their status, and this can result in one of two outcomes

My dude,what’s good with shorty? That’s you?
Her? Nah I mean she wanted to holla, but it never went anywhere.
So, I’m good?
Yea son, do you! **daps**


My dude,what’s good with shorty? That’s you?
Who her? Yea that’s me we been talking for a minute.
Oh that’s wifey?
Nah not really, I mean……………… we speak on the phone and whatnot here n there, and so on and so forth nahmeyaheard?!
Huh? Oh like everyday?
Not really, but she knows wassup.
So… she’s not really interested.
Not in that way, but I’m gonna get it though fam!

See Also:  The Club Mentality

We all go through situations where we see someone we like, try to kick game, and “we get rejected in the paint while our person of interest waves the finger like Mutombo” (c) J. Davermann. Then, the person we were feelin’ is now crushin on your friend. It’s natural to feel snubbed or jealous, but to pull a claim on someone just because you got rejected is corny. The Claim Game serves as a nice way to deem your homie a hater. Period. A wise person once said “It takes a man to stand and cheer while the other fellow stars”. Sometimes, you have to step aside and let your homie succeed where you fail, and at least try to live vicariously through them!

If you didn’t have a committed relationship with your homie’s point of interest, then you have no basis to pull a claim. Men have unwritten rules about situations like this. A dude will ask another dude about a woman, and if she isn’t claimed, then that will serve as a green light to pursue. Now, if you are the claimer, and you seriously have something developing with the lady in red question, then you need to speak up, or forever hold your peace. Many situations developed where men were prideful, claim that they have no feelings for a woman, and later gets upset when their homie smashes before they do tries to bag said female.

See Also:  Letter To My Girlfriend About Football

On another note, just because someone “wanted to holla at you first”, gives you no basis by which you would place a claim! Infatuation is fantasy based, and when people face reality, their feelings can and will flip like acrobats. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s human. I can respect a friend who goes to all lengths to make sure no ill feelings will occur between them if they pursue someone of interest, or ran a train had a previous relationship. To me, that’s a great courtesy, because if you are good friends with this person, you should know if they were seriously dealing with this individual to begin with (or the level of seriousness). I’ve inquired before, and used judgment calls in others depending on prior knowledge, and it’s worked out well I mean, I’m still alive and my car isn’t damaged right?. Especially if your friends know you as virtuous and not the type to “have sex with your girlfriend if you look the other way”.

What about the situation where your friend was dating the woman in question? Is it always off limits? I’ve seen this situation more times than I can count, and believe it’s more common than anyone thinks! Some like by the motto “If it wasn’t serious wifey, then I’m good” Hell, I had friends tell people “You got 2 years to reconcile, or I’m going IN!!” The situation even gets trickier when you talk about acquaintances, business partners, mans-an-em, LBs, sands, etc. How about if you smashed dealt with people your person of interest knows? Are you automatically off limits? Should you say something?We need a board to review all of this!

See Also:  Don't Buy Girls Drinks in the Club ... PERIOD!

You never want to step on toes by acting on attraction, knowing a friend was interested in said individual first. If its been 6 months with < 5 phone calls, < 2 dates, and nothing past bunt singles and pop-ups, then “give it up Rock, its ova!” (c) Mick, Rocky III. So I ask today, when is it right/wrong to claim a person? Are there circumstances where you never have to inquire about dealings? When is it grimy to put claim on an individual? What about your friends? What about us girrllllll?


Streetz alias “If you’re paying for dinner, you can claim me alllll night long!


  1. This post was interesting cause i know dudes who have issue with being "claimed" when they think they have been. I think letting your homegirls know that you have an interest in someone isn't wrong but I've been in a situation where if the person you pose an interest in finds out, they get mad (cause folks twist words and ish).

    LOL at "you can claim me alllll night long"!

    oh and #random, did anyone else see (the not so small) thumbnail for singlemuslim.com on this page? It just threw me for a loop!

  2. I don't have to buy a plane ticket to st tropez or england to claim u? For real? *smiles* E-ladies streetz is mine! For the night of course…y'all feel free to re-apply tomorrow morning Lol

    This post is 2 funny. It reminded me of when I was hanging out with a friend Y. We weren't on a date, we had never slept together we were just hanging out. So anyway, we get to this place and I'm sat opposite this guy I know in the biblical sense. So loads of us are all sat round the table, eating and laughing when friend A who I had slept with gets up. smiling, he makes a big deal of getting to me as he walks round the table. Then he lowers he's head and whispers in my ear…

    Let's just say Y who already knew about A and I went ape sh*t…he actually called A out…he was like why did u have to do that… I brought her here…she's with me…what did u need to say that u couldn't sat opposite her…isn't that your date sat by your empty seat…pls seat yo a$$ back down.

    I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me… smh @ the #Drama

    1. I have a similar story:

      Me, my girlfriend, and a guy FRIEND went out for drinks. Guy friend is just that….nothing ever happened between us. He recently just lost his wife so I'm sure this has something to do with the following.

      Guy friend declares how much he likes me to my friend (while admitting he's not ready for a relationship). I go to the juke box and this other dude tries to holla(who introduced himself to my girl and I when he 1st entered). I can feel the hate radiating from guy friend.

      I return back to the table. Dude who tries to holla, whispers in my ear asking if he could join us b/c he doesn't want me to be the 3rd wheel. It gets awkward as I try to explain that we're all here as friends.

      Guy friend loses his mind! Reaches across the table (cuts me off while I'm speaking) and introduces himself to dude. Dude just goes back to the bar….guy friend follows and says god knows what to him. Dude comes back to the table…chit chatting w/ my friend and I (mostly w/ her). Guy friend is happy as Nicki Minaj in a wig shop.

      I can't remember a time when I was more embarrassed.

      1. WOW…that's all I can say. WOW.

        I know the feeling though…

        At the clave this weekend I was hanging with a guy FRIEND and some other bruhz and sorors. Now I admit, I know he has an attraction to me. But he's friend-zoned, and knows it.

        Well we're out and about, hanging, meeting people. And I come across a nice looking fellow who happens to ask me to come chat for a second. I do, flirt, exchange info…the usual.

        Well I feel someone staring at me, and I look over my shoulder and see him coming. Dude follows my stare and sees him coming and asks if he's my man. Since he isn't, I respond no…and he continues talking to me. Next thing I know, dude walks up…puts his arm around me, KISSES me on the cheek, and proceeds to grip up the bruh I'm talking to.

        Talk about embarassing…I was in hiding the rest of the weekend.

        1. I literally hid the rest of the night, and the next day I drove everywhere.

          Kicker…he told me he had spies and they said that I was being really "friendly".

        2. Reecie!!! It was so embarassing!!! All I can do is laugh now. My chapter bruhz were like, what is the deal?! Lol.

          Sad, sad, sad…

        3. If I would have had my phone I might have SOS'd you. It was not a good look. But the Bruh I was chatting with thought it was rather funny. Lol.

      1. Queen…that's not even the end of it!!!!

        THEN…he asks if he can stay the night. I say sure (clearly he's drunk). He asks if he can sleep in my bed…I'm like….uhhhh NO!

        We get to my crib, I start to set up the couch for him…then he wants to talk about the nights events. Somewhere in there, he tries kissing me…and tells me he thought that my boobs would hang lower b/c of their size. Wait…it gets better

        THEN he leaves b/c he feels strange and unwanted (b/c I won't let him sleep in my bed). So I'm trying to go to sleep and forget this terrible night, and he calls me. I answer. He goes off on me about how he hopes I have bail $ b/c he's driving drunk. I reply that I told him he could stay, and he's the one that left. He said I didn't try hard enough to get him to stay. o_O

        Monday I had off (Memorial Day)…he calls, I don't answer.

        Tuesday, I get a call while I'm at work. I get gassed up thinking it's a job calling back…NOPE it's him. He then proceeds to tell me how I'm too good for dude, and would he have been able to get my #, how I need to know myself worth…


        1. So Flyy…I tried to be as nice as possible as I went off on him

          I had to let him know he doesn't even know me like that…so he bets to pipe down and tread lightly

        2. @Shubby

          You stay with some story like this… Dudes must be wildin across the pond! lmao

          @Most – Cosign. How did he extrapolate the correct trajectory of your mammorical length and graviational pull?!

          @ All greeks – I think this is even worse with the frat/soror/spec/#/sands phenomenon

        3. LMAO!

          Because I changed into my pajamas (t-shirt and b-ball shorts) and I don't wear a bra to bed…so that's how he made that assessment.

        4. Well, whatever. I made it clear that nothing was going on! I told him he wasn't sleeping in my bed sooooo…..

        5. LaBakir: "I changed into my pajamas (t-shirt and b-ball shorts) and I don’t wear a bra to bed…"

          You are in front of him in a t-shirt sans bra and b-ball shorts…I know he effed up your night, but you can't do that and then say he can't get none!

        6. LOL!!! Yo, I figured that was the least sexy thing I could put on! I didn't even change into my "normal" pajamas b/c he was there. I changed, throw the bedding on the couch for him to sleep, and went to exit stage left.

    2. @LABlair

      "Yo, I figured that was the least sexy thing I could put on! I didn’t even change into my “normal” pajamas b/c he was there. "

      If this isn't a #swindle I dont know what is. LMAOOO! Like this is classic!

      1. Stop it Streetz! I'm being dead honest!

        I figured that was the safest thing to change into. The shorts came to my knees and the shirt was not form fitting!

        This is not a #swindle


        1. That dont mean nothing. Girls act like that aint chexy sometimes. Some chicks bodies (especially those who thicker than a snicker on the bottom) look better in some ball shorts or sweats

        2. i try not wearing form fitting things and still get hit on…there is really no safe outfit…#deepsigh

  3. My homeboys and I have a saying that is pretty simple and easy to live by. "If its not your main then she's fair game."

    Good post though.

  4. If you saw "Love Jones" then you know this situation is mad awkward when it happens…its just not worth it. Go outside your circle of friends…men you really have no excuse to engage in this behavior because there are too many women out here for the claim game…

    On the real though…if there isn't a ring on it..full claim can never be made in totality…..and even then….LOL..don't even get me started on that….:-)

    1. Lol Queen… that's my grandma's saying. She's a G. I remember talking to her about this guy in HS that I liked but refused to persue b/c he had a gf. Grandma looked me square in the eye w/ the O_o face and said "Is he married?" I responded no of course and she said "Welp he's fair game. Let me know if you need some pointers."

      Needless to say, I died on the spot.

        1. I was raised by my grandmother. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever known.

          True story:

          I brought a lady friend home one time – we drove back from college (in Upstate NY) together. Didn't get to my crib till really, really late… like, after 10p.m. Grandmoms had dinner – for 2 ready – on the stove. We ate and I wanted homegirl to stay the night, but she was a little reluctant having just at dinner with my grandmother. So, at dinner, I say, 'are you sure you wanna drive all the way home this late, after driving all the way down here". She says, yeah, it is late but…" Grandmoms interrupts, "You shouldn't be driving so late, why don't you stay here."

          Credit grandmoms with the assist.

        2. @Most:

          I think I might be your grandma's biggest fan. That was a serious assist to the alley-oop.


          Speaking of being down FTW, birthday came… Grams blessed me w/ $500. However, the funds came w/ specific instructions: Take this money, spend it on SEXY clothes only – no work attire – and if the man who is behind the counter is cute: FLIRT.

          Love you lots,

          Grandma Nettie

  5. This is interesting. I really thought the post was going in a whole different direction but I can fleaux w/ this too. Lol.

    Am I the only female that's ever turned down a guy or put him through the ringer because I used to be interested in his friend? Girls make such a huge deal about this sometimes I don't know how to translate it into male arena. I didn't know if it was okay, like if he'd received 'permission', etc. I also know men have this whole "bros before hoes" thing going on… So while dude X may want to talk me if he finds out that dude Z really has an issue (concealed or otherwise) with it… all of a sudden I'm hoe T & get left out of the equation.

    I've heard other women say there are plenty of fish in the ocean, why you trying to swim in my pond? The girl who said this was really in a lake/river run-off though… she was rollin outta control. No one could avoid her exes. There was a point to that statement… but I forget what.

    1. "Am I the only female that’s ever turned down a guy or put him through the ringer because I used to be interested in his friend? "

      Nope, not at all.

  6. It's quite surprising how much the claim game is actually played… by men. I had a lil "fun buddy" in undergrad and whenever I would try and get to know (not biblically) another male on campus it would suddenly halt with the explanation of "i can't talk to you anymore because you're involved with XYZ or because (insert org here) is ice-grillin me around campus."

    and to think my little buddy never wanted to date me- then why stop me from dating? smh.

  7. obviously (for the most part) we as men are rather territorial about things such as this. Cant blame anybody for feelin soft about past "situations" to some degree. I just tend to avoid chicks that my boys have holla'd at. CAVEAT: unless there is some UNDENIABLE/STARS IN MY EYES/HARPS PLAYING/ANGELS SINGING type thing…I'll leave it be. too many women in Atlanta to have to be in situations like this. It just gets messy…and aint nothing worse than two alpha males disgruntled to whatever silent degree about a piece of a$$.

    1. dayl8dollashort: "I just tend to avoid chicks that my boys have holla’d at."

      This. I just can't. Besides, there are too many girls on the girl tree for that. Three billion women in the world and I'm going after my boy's leftovers? I'll pass.

      1. to me…its just borderline LAME. but yeah, you right…too much scattered a$$ to be hollerin at a chick that the homie been wit, and any dude that goes after a chick Ive been with…you a better man than me. #THIRSTY. call it what you want, but I have no desire to follow behind a man that I know, or have a dude ask me how so-and-so is/was. and AUTOMATICALLY, in a situation like that, the chick is the butt of a joke, on sidepiece status, and pretty much viewed as a twice used handgun…"a throwaway". I understand that one mans trash is another mans treasure…so like I say "good luck with that one". if I got "pinballed" off two chicks in the same circle…Im just #hiredpenis. and maybe Im okay with that one. hell, I probably would be. but I wouldnt be in question as to my place in the proverbial food chain.

      2. to me…its just borderline LAME. but yeah, you right…too much scattered a$$ to be hollerin at a chick that the homie been wit, and any dude that goes after a chick Ive been with…you a better man than me. #THIRSTY. call it what you want, but I have no desire to follow behind a man that I know, or have a dude ask me how so-and-so is/was. and AUTOMATICALLY, in a situation like that, the chick is the butt of a joke, on sidepiece status, and pretty much viewed as a twice used handgun…”a throwaway”. I understand that one mans trash is another mans treasure…so like I say “good luck with that one”. if I got “pinballed” off two chicks in the same circle…Im just a piece of meat. get in where you fit in. but to me, its a lack of respect for self. i know i just went sideways with this, but I couldnt help it.

  8. I like this topic. Shoutout to Streetz.

    A few random thoughts.

    1. Black Greek life makes the claim game a lot more complicated. When I was in undergrad, I could never seriously date a chick who was the ex-girlfriend or, ex cut-buddy of someone in a greek organization on campus – whether my organization or otherwise. Just felt weird. At that point, she, at most can only be my cut-buddy. The is doubly true if she was the ex-girlfriend or ex-cut-buddy of someone in one of, what I will call the "less elite" organizations. #NoDisrespect #I'mJustSaying. Now – if you happened to be the concubine of an entire org, like – you were a rite of passage for every neophyte that crossed a particular org for 4 straight years (I've seen this happen)… you're off limits – totally… for ever ever – ever ever.

    Where it gets tricky is when 2 frat brothers from different chapters bump heads #NoMo. Like, Bro from Chapter XYZ, who I'm cool with, but not super close to, wants to talk to my ex girl or ex FWB who's also greek. In those cases, a phone call should be made to find out the depth of the prior relationship. 9 times out of 10, extradition requests will be granted.

    2. In the real world (meaning, the world outside of college and black greek life) true love is a rarity. And if it's staring 2 people in the face, no amount of claiming by people other than those 2 people should stop it.

    3. In the real world – for a thorough crew of guy friends -the general rule is, as long as no one's tryna wife, whoever has the best chance of smashing wins. If I can't win, but my boy can, I'll assist on his win, if he can't win, but I can, he'll assist on my win. In the end, we all succeed. That's how it should be. The only time this doesn't work is when you have a weak link in the crew who, for whatever reason… never wins.

    4. A good crew of guy friends will have a code. It goes something like this: Ex-Girlfriends are off limits unless you think you can go further than I did with her (which means, put a ring on it), ex cut buddies are in play… only to cut and not to seriously date (Ladies, if you're some ones ex cut buddy, take note of this, because it means that most likely, his friend, will never wife you). Close female friends are in play but only to seriously date, not to just smash. I've had a ton of guy friends ask me to throw the assist on some of my close female friends. My response is always… what are you intentions with her? If you're just tryna smash, I won't be mad if you do, but I won't help either – unless she's told me, implicitly, that she's just looking for a JO.

    5. A man, when forced to choose between a close, long time male friend and a woman they could possibly marry, will choose their close guy friend 9 times out of 10. This is because deep down most men know, once you're an adult, it's much easier to find another woman worth marrying than it is to find another close guy friend who you can trust.

    Women, on the other hand, will invite their best friend from 2nd grade over to their house for dinner, poison her with arsenic, bury the body in the back yard and pretend nothing happened if they think, for a moment, that their girlfriend's current cut buddy, long time love interest, FWB or co-worker she flirts with, might… MIGHT be interested in marriage. Women have a code, but, it's only on paper; in real life, it's completely optional.

    I'm hyperbolizing here – but, you get the picture.

    1. "Women have a code, but, it’s only on paper; in real life, it’s completely optional."

      Sad, but in many cases true. In mine, not so much. I've been in this situation and lost a friend who tried to date one of my exes. No bueno, you gotsta go. I don't like to share, so I can't fathom being with someone that "smashed the homies"…especially if I know about it. I already shared that bachelorette party story with ya'll. That was just awkward.

    2. I definitely cosign with #2-#5; however, in regards to #1, I have a few questions. Please note that they may come from my limited knowledge of GBLOs…but anyways…

      1. If it's a frat brother from a different chapter that you're not close to, why do you need to engage in a conversation with him to find out the depth of the report. I don't understand why it would matter if you're not close and merely aquaintances.

      2. Any why can't you seriously date a chick who was the the ex-girlfriend or, ex cut-buddy of someone in a greek organization on campus that you weren't a part of? Again, if you don't know this man – other than the fact that he's in XYZ organization – why does it matter?

      It's as if you you expect to meet some "virgin" on campus or a woman that's never dated before. At the end of the day, when you meet a woman you won't be her first. And I suspect that she won't be yours either. So why it hold against her that she dated someone that you don't even know, just know of? Honestly, it's sounds like insecurity…I'm just saying…

    3. "Women, on the other hand, will invite their best friend from 2nd grade over to their house for dinner, poison her with arsenic, bury the body in the back yard and pretend nothing happened if they think, for a moment, that their girlfriend’s current cut buddy, long time love interest, FWB or co-worker she flirts with, might… MIGHT be interested in marriage. Women have a code, but, it’s only on paper; in real life, it’s completely optional."


      So Sad BUT it's the truth but I will say this it applies to SOME "scuttlebutts" not ALL women.

  9. I've said it before and i'll say it again. The 2-4-6 rule. You have 2 weeks to get the number, 4 weeks to get the date, 6 weeks to smash. After that it's fair game. You can throw the franchise tag on it if you feel you need more time, but you are only allowed one franchises at a time. #LAW

    In other news, a woman is going to assume that friends talk or they not as close as they let on. So if you approach a chick after you boy was talking to her, keep in mind, she might be like, "This disrespectful bastid. They think they can just pass the punani." #quesdo.

    Lastly, the WB ruile stipulates that if you are going to try and talk to a girl i'm talking to or trying to talk to, or was trying to talk to. Would you please, have the common courtesy to Warn-a-Brother. This goes both ways, if you see your boy talking to a chick that you know was trying to get at you previously, Warn-a-Brother. #LAW

  10. Yeah, I was a victim of this ish this past weekend. If I even danced with an Omega, I swear every other Omega in the spot avoided me like the plague. Saturday night, I literally had to leave that first club because I accepted a drink and a dance from an Omega, and no other Omegas would come near me. smh… I was seriously checking for this other cutie, too. *sigh* Eff a claim, this is just cock blocking. lol.

    LOL! Good post, Streetz.

    1. What kind of Ques do ya be hanging w/?

      Ya need to visit the Swinging Second District where paddles isnt the only wood swinging. My neo smashed my ADPs "girl", WHILE HE WAS ONLINE. My ADP was cool w/ it though

        1. He was interested enough to call her his girl but not interested enough to stop a pledge from hollering. I say all of this to say that da bruhz i know dont be cuffin

      1. Its definitely not like that in the 4th either…i've dealt with a Que there and a few of his neos still tried to come after me even after a claim had been made (not from my school). And same goes for parties, just cause one has danced with me doesn't stop the others from wanting to dance with me either…

        I only dated one Greek on my campus and a few of his frat tried to smash too…one got mad cause i told him no & stated not just the reason of dealing with his frat but also cause my big sis liked him (which he knew)…needless to say, he tried to tarnish my rep with my big sis….some dudes are hella sensitive.

      1. yeah that doesn't happen with strangers, often. at a party even? I've never seen such in all my years… I'm with Peyso on this. lol cock blocking is not the norm.

        1. Maybe it was just the dude I wanted. And I admit, I may have been a little too friendly to guy 1, but still. Can I shine? I'm not greek, let me be great!! lol.

        2. I agree. I think here it was more he did have a pretty strong interest tho he was lukewarm in his approach. I guess seeing others interested brought it out of him.

          Either way, still whack.

    2. I'm not mad at the Bruz for this… I respect the way they operate. Were this an Alpha party though, quick calculations would have been made to determine which bro had the best mathmatical shot at winning and deference would have been paid to that bro… lol…

  11. this topic is such a #swindle. i've been on both sides of this. i've had women claim me who i've been out with once like 2 years down the line. they really get upset when they found out one of their friends was interested in me. that's when the c*ckblocking/hating begins. on the flip side i have this "friend" who makes it a habit to purposely (not according to him) pursue women that me and a mutual friend used to deal with. and i don't mean deal with as in just mere infatuation.

    also streetz, i'm noticing a slight trend in your blog post topics as of late. anything you want to share? lol

    1. also streetz, i’m noticing a slight trend in your blog post topics as of late. anything you want to share? lol

      Thought I was the only one who noticed…

      *pats couch* Take a seat Streetz… what's on your mind?

    2. i’ve had women claim me who i’ve been out with once like 2 years down the line. they really get upset when they found out one of their friends was interested in me. that’s when the c*ckblocking/hating begins.

      See, I think a lot of this comes from people still having feelings, and they haven't really moved on. I've told my friends that just because my ex and I didn't work, doesn't mean it couldn't work b/t the 2 of them. Who am I to block someone's happiness? I've moved on to greener pastures.

      1. Church! Tabernacle! Synagogue! Temple! & Mosque!!

        This is the statement of the day!! The only time I get touchy about an ex is if I haven't moved on. Period. At which point, as a close friend you either back off or help me move on.

  12. LOL @ this entire post. But yeah, the claim game is a slippery one, indeed. But sometimes folks make it way more slippery and complicated than it should be. I mean, like in situation 2…naw, homie she AIN'T you. You probably boning some chick she knows through six degrees of separation anyhow. *shrug*

    In other news: It's my birfday, bishes!!!!!!!!! *claims all the SBMs just for today to jump out of my cake*


    1. Alright, I can't be following you around the webz all day throwing birfday wishes your way, so just consider this one that lingers. 🙂

    2. Lol @ Sane… I was thinking the same thing. Can't be following her about the innawebs wishing happy birfdays!


    3. Thanks for the wishes, ya'll! LOL @ Sane and SoFlyy. Well that's what ya'll get for frequenting the same e-places I do! lmao

      For real, blogger-dom is incestuous as hell.

  13. Mines has a little twist on it. When I go out with girl friends to a restaurant or club and the dude that comes up of tryin to holla is ugly or not their type or just too aggressive like they cant take the hint, the friend wants me to make the claim that she is with me. that whts make me mad.

    1. Welcome and whatnot! Why does that make you mad? Is it someone your interested in that is doing this? Is it blocking your play?

  14. LOL @ this one. I never had time to pledge in undergrad or grad [too busy working] so this peek behind the purple/gold curtain was very educational…

      1. When i attended undergrad [also in Upstate NY] the Ques had been kicked off campus, the Alphas pretty much kept to themselves and even though I had no idea who they were or their reputations at the time I could tell right off the bat I didn't like the 'candy cane spinners'.

  15. long time follower, first time commenting..

    loved today's topic.. right on point.. and as much as I understand the claim game.. as much as I don't the specific rules.. especially with women..

    First abt men.. I've been in a place where I met a group of friends of my guy friend.. As soon as I left, a guy made a claim, yep she's mine, though we had barely exchanged 2 words (hello-goodbye). random!

    Second women… listen.. I lost a good friend over this.. she was friends with this guy.. platonic friends, she thought he was cute but that was about it. Anyways, we all go out to a birthday party and sparks fly between him and I… anyways,,, just to be respectful to my friend, I ask if its ok if something-something happens between the guy and I.. she says absolutely, have fun, I have no claim on him… whatever happens happens.. it was a one night thing.. no numbers exchanged (like ill see you when i see you).

    A couple weeks later, i ask my friend for the guy's number, she claims that he changes his cell alot and only has the home phone number.. I'm like its ok, no worries… she said, anyways, she doesnt want to get involved btw him and I.. Im like thats fine, but you still ok that something happened btw us, right?.. her answer yes yes yes!!!

    two weeks go by.. we go to a party together, the guy is there, we are electrically attracted to eachother, exchange face to face numbers.. and see where the future leads..

    That was the last night I ever spoke to that girlfriend of mine.. we were close, she went apeshit and told stories, rumors, insulted me on facebook (apparently she is a 12 year old)..

    now, been 8 months, still dating the guy!!!!

    she had no reason to claim him (nothing ever happened, friend mode only).. yet she secretly claimed him, never told me, and I'm the bad one in the friendship.. ridiculous.

    either ppl… even though making a claim on someone is idiotic, not making one when you want to… as it was said, speak now or forever hold your peace..

    fyi.. this is a great blog… love everything about it.. even from Montreal!!! Peace

    1. Welcome and whatnot! I know it's cliche, but if that's all it took to drive that friend away, she wasn't really a friend to begin with. 🙂

    2. Excellent comment! I was dyin! LOL

      Thanks for the Love. SBM is an Army…bettayet a navy! Thanks for the MTL love…

      You're Haitian aren't you? 🙂 lol…

      (said bec I have mad fam in MTL)

      Silent claims are bs and the friend has no right to be angry. Leave all that angst to her. Ole sourpuss lookin ass broad!


    3. Yes….welcome aboard. I hope you will continue to post comments! 🙂

      PS- You are good to be rid of that friend..that was just childish.

  16. 1.i dont have a problem with my close friends dating my ex as long as truly over him in which case she'll know.

    2.i have aproblem with guys who dont want to put a name on it yet they want to claim u every opportunity they get.

    3.as a rule i can't date a friends ex.except i knew him before he dated my friend.

    4.if we are group of girls and u toasted one of us and she aint feeling u, i think he's fair game to the rest and the first person toasted has no claims on u.but personally i wont roll with u cos id feel like i was second best for u.

    1. Can I just say that I received the email from this comment while listening to "Gaston" from the Beauty & The Beast soundtrack. I had just finished thinking I should name my kid Gaston so he can have his own theme song.

      That is all.


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get SBM Delivered

Get SBM Delivered

Single Black Male provides dating and relationship
advice for today's single looking for love

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This