Home Dating & Relationships Rules of Engagement Is That the Best You Can Do?

Is That the Best You Can Do?

75

You date someone. You break up (on Facebook). You continue to have sex. You get back together (on Facebook). You keep havin sex. You break up again (on Facebook). The sex stops. This time it’s for good. A few weeks months go by and both of yall are on to your next relationships (on Facebook). That’s all good and gravy. You moved on. Have a cookie and salute yourself. The feelings have subsided and you really could care less what the other person is doing…until you see that they’ve moved on to something worse than you.

All that “I just want you to be happy” stuff is somewhat accurate unless you’re a callous and evil SOB. So what happens when you see that the person has moved on to someone who really doesn’t cut the mustard on any level that you find acceptable? It’s probably happened to all of us. You’re just chillin’ one day and then you hear through the grapevine that your ex is in a new relationship. Out of curiosity you ask who or decide to check out their online profile and see that the person looks like T-Pain or looks like Bertha Fae McButtaface.

You laugh or you’re angry/disappointed. Not because you want the person back, but because their next partner isn’t up to par physically (woman concern) or is cornier than Nebraska (man concern). So let’s say you’re a nice lad/lass and you give their decision the benefit of the doubt. You peruse further through the new bf/gf’s profile, or you get the opinions of those that know your ex and find out the person has a lame background and isn’t really about ish. How does that make you feel?

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Personally, I’ve had an ex cross over to lesbianage and another one join mediocrity with quite a lame and ignorant Frat dude. As for the lesbianage, to each their own. I should’ve figured when I made certain jokes and the person got all upset and insecure that something was “different”. I didn’t understand the outrage at the time, but it all makes sense now. Oh well. As for moving on to the lame individual, I kinda just figured that she got what she deserved. A dude who prolly got beat up in high school on the regular deserves a chick who…well, let me not get too personal. Maybe the lame dude just laid on the floor and took heels to the back. Power to him. You can’t win ‘em all. Either way, eff it. May they live in awfulness happily cuz my life is great.

Either way, the ish is wack. It’s kinda like gettin slapped in the face when it happens. You’d like to think that anybody you dated, regardless of if they were a mistake, had some highly redeeming qualities that you could speak of. You wanna believe they’re ultimately good people, but then they go and a sign a contract with a fledgling and feeble franchise with no potential. Now some would see this as hate, others would see it as stone cold truth. I, being the upstanding individual that I am, try to disregard it all together. Homegirl’s friends prolly cheered her on to victory and gave her all these reasons why I was wack/lame/booty bunz even though they don’t know the reality of what it was that I dealt with. Maybe they did. Who knows? I’ve had the temptation in the past to make public comments, but I just let it rock. If I see them out in them streets, it’s been laughter and smiles. I’m just an a-hole like that sometimes.

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But enough about me, what do yall do when this happens? Are you salty or do you not care at all? Do you call the person out on their wack progression or let them live together in misery? I guess a lot of this depends on how yall ended and your gender. We wanna hear what yall got to say on this one. Let the chitter chatter be fruitful and entertaining for all!

Something Witty,

Comment(75)

  1. Why you talking to me Slim?

    D*mn… ha….

    When me and the ex-fiance broke up his friends were very disappointed in him, extremely disappointed in him. These same friends told him he had made a mistake in ending the engagement (this was a mutual thing tho)… he went and moved on with another girl… his boys were the first ones to tell me about this, and they were eager too… alas, we run into each other at a restaurant, me with my date (he is/was hot! d*mn sexy may I add lol) and him with… her…. I was shocked! I know this is going to sound all sorts of bad, but you know how people who have down syndrome faces look? face wide, eyes a little too separated, and nose just too broad/wide? ok, that was her face minus the down syndrome… She was/is (don't know if they're still together or not at this point and don't care either) extremely skinny – no as* no boobies – and short – at least 5 ft.

    After my curiosity got the best of me I consulted about her with one of his friends, she's younger, at the time 22, with an 8 yr old daughter.. 8 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER… SMH… wasn't working, nor going to school and lived with her parents… what did he see in her? No clue. And to this day I still have no clue.

    I was insulted at him for downgrading from me… I knew he had it in him to do better than me but he fell low, very low… Take it, I know I'm not a dime, but I'm also not a nickel, but d*mn! Shorty was just a penny… I never said anything to him about her because we didn't ever speak again and still haven't but even if we spoke to each other I wouldn't question him in his decision, that's his life, he lives it how he wants… but I am dumbfounded.

    I just don't understand this. And I'm sure I'm not the only one who has gone through this. I don't get it. It's a phenom I tell you.

    1. Hey, being short isn't a bad thing! (I'm short) But I digress!

      Dude who got married…that bish he married was UGMO! You know how most women are like really beautiful on their wedding day because they have a glow, they are so happy…well, that glow was blacked out and all the make up in the world couldn't help her! The only thing that saved their daughter (he knocked her up before they got married & the child was like 1 by that time) is that she looks like her dad… I'm still insulted that he choose that ugly chick over me but i have done and can do much better than him so he can wallow in misery with her.

      (SN: I'm normally not that bitter but the whole situation makes me feel a certain way when it comes back to the forefront of my mind.)

      1. Nothing against shorties 🙂 but the shortness didn't look cute on her lol…

        I don't know what happened with them, but I was more in shock than mad and disappointed. Like, really?! Her?! For reals?! I just couldn't believe it I'm sure he was kicking himself cuz he knew what my thoughts were, plus I saw the look he gave my boy toy for the night, hehe, it wasn't pretty lol but it felt d*mn good to know that I had done so much better than him and he knew that

        1. oh ok…i had to make sure that shorties like me wasn't getting a bad rap! lol!

          The way the situation sounded, i probably would've had a shocked look then bust out into laughter! (I have no sense) lol! I'm glad you did better than him…that's what he gets *Bring it on UH*!

          I was heartbroken over my situation but once i saw a picture of the chick, i was more insulted than anything but now i laugh, especially since he tried to come back to me after she tried to keep him away from me. lol

    2. This is a perfect case of the "Rebounds"…we all have fallen victim to this sickness…yea we may have either been a rebound or chosen a rebound…now not as severe as your ex-fiance but some can be worse!

      In order to get away from the ridicule, the hurt, the suffereing and the realization of "MAN I F'ed up letting Lola go" he has created this false world with the new lady…happens all the time…so he puts his all into the new lady…regardless of what she brings to the table…

      I know plenty of females who have done this…End relationships and hook up with Rocko on the Block because he was spittin the right stuff at a low point for them…and what happens (Not always)…A child later, drug conviction later, and/or a few A** whippins later and they wondering how in the H – E – Double Hockey Sticks they get here…

      Beware of the REBOUND!!!

      1. Lol… the famous rebound… ah yes… I broke 2 dudes heart because they were both rebounds… now that I think back to it, one of them had issues lol

  2. Ahhhhhhh this ish right here…………..speaking my life. All I can do is shake my head and wonder what dude is doing with his life.

  3. It’s kinda like gettin slapped in the face when it happens.

    ^^^Sums it up for me!

    what do yall do when this happens? Are you salty or do you not care at all?

    ^^^It truly depends on the person. But I'm generally salty because they stopped dealing with me to be with someone uglier or horrible! I had one actually marry the ugly broad after me but come back not even 2 years into their marriage trying to get me back…i told him to work that ish out in no pleasant terms.

    Do you call the person out on their wack progression or let them live together in misery?

    ^^^One, i did try to help because the chick was TERRIBLE and i truly wanted better for him. He dealt with another chick after that that brought problems for him but he had made some positive changes in the wake of that relationship…the other one prior turned him into a completely different person that i had known & if i didn't know his face/body structure, he would've been completely unrecognizable. Needless to say, i deeply cared for that man so i was there for him regardless. Others, i've just said f*ck it and laughed at them in the end.

    I guess a lot of this depends on how yall ended and your gender.

    ^^^I agree with this but it also depends on who you are as a person such as if you are caring & compassionate as compared to unfeeling & an a$$hole. I'm very caring but unless they really mistreated/hurt me, i will continue to care about that person (in the case of the one who i told him to work his ish out, he called me out my name…yea, i don't play that).

  4. Ahhh I just dealt with this. My ex of nearly 3 years broke-up with me back in May, and by June he was dating some new girl. When I saw her I thought she wasn't that pretty, but I thought perhaps I was just being mean. I wasn't, it was pretty much a unanimous that she looked manly.

  5. It happened and well all I could do was wish him the best and pray that he gets a better chance to redeem himself later on in life. Can't dwell on his later mistakes. Gotta keep it moving pimpin'!

  6. LOL this just happened to me 3 days ago, I ran into my Ex's current gf and she looked like one of those dogs that get entered in the ugliest dog contest… all i could do was shake my head and laugh( and think is this really the best you can do:-[ ), and i realized that was the reason he keeps trying to start a relationship with me again( which really wont happen because now i know he doesn't exercise good judgement … beautiful heart or not, that only counts when you're dead

    1. "beautiful heart or not, that only counts when you are dead"

      I'm not sure if you meant it in the way I think…buuuut I'm using this anyways lol

  7. I've never understood this too… I put it down to guys who need to be needed… *shrugs*

    My ex started dating this girl after I caught him cheating with 2 other skanks. I was six years younger than him but his new chic was about 4 years younger than me. She was short, unkept, light skinned, no job, always broke so he was supporting her. How I don't know cos his status hadn't changed. I remember having to give him money, or buy food…I paid the electricity at his a couple of times when things were tight. Thankfully I can say My love has never been this blind since. I mean dude was so off he got fired from his minimum wage pizza hut gig. Anyway His new chick was also 3 times fatter than me. I mean seriously dude used to raise an eyebrow everytime I wanted to eat a doughnut… I so didn't get that. It didn't last. He tried to get back with me…I declined after which he knocked 2 random girls up (one of which was jobless and happily living on state benefits). He married the one that said yes.

    I know another girl former model…she held her own…light skinned, tall, lovely and vibrant…she dated this guy (who I might add I had something to do with but hey…that's another story) yet he cheated on her with a girl who was 8 years younger, short, dark skinned, bow legged, no job…face like a bull dog…he met her on holiday so he'd fly her in to lagos all the time but she didn't mingle…she just used to stand by him all day like his pet dog… and move on his command. He married her last year.

    I still don't get it

  8. what do yall do when this happens? Are you salty or do you not care at all? Do you call the person out on their wack progression or let them live together in misery?

    ^^^^^

    To be honest I could care less; do you and live your life.

    I have left MOST of my past relationships on good notes for the most part & some are still friends. If we have broken up because of him they usually do end up with girls who seems to be "lame" to me but hey if that's who they want to be with by all means do you.

    I have been dealing with this current trend of ex's who end it with me, get with another but still want to keep the friendship "alive" which I find utterly stupid.

    If you have been an ex whom I believed the relationship was good and you cut it off, I cut you out my life. Life was just made simple by that one move.

    anyway, their love life not mine in the end i don't care =]

    good post tho Slim

  9. An exboyfriend dated a woman who looked almost like me (same skin tone, height, hair length, etc.) except that was where the similarities ended. She was a smoker, believed in extremely short hem lines and very low necklines, drank like a fish (ie. had a reputation of being wasted at all parties) and also took off her underwear alot (ie., casual sex should have been her middle name). Then some friends of mine bumped into the ex and his flame at a lounge bar and did an about face when they saw her—the words they said, "looks like she got a makeover since she was dressed exactly like you Tiger Lily!" (ie. like a lady, chic but with some coquette thrown in)…seems the ex had influenced her to adopt my style of dressing! LOL. That relationship ended after a few months, or so I hear. In any event, what is it that they say about imitation being the sincerest form of flattery!?!

  10. What do yall do when this happens? Are you salty or do you not care at all? Do you call the person out on their wack progression or let them live together in misery?

    I wish them happiness and keep it moving, no matter how it ended. It could be something about her character that appeals to him. She might not be as "beautiful" (according to my standards) but she might have another physical attribute that appeals to him. All in all, I try not to waste time sizing up the new girl because I do not know her like that and we are not in some kind of competition. Maybe I am just weird.
    Also, I do not condone it when my friends try to size up my ex's new flame. When they start the, "she looks this way and does not have it all together" I shut it down because no one but the two of them know what brought them together. He is my ex, his day to day affairs and relationship choices stopped being my business the day we ended it.

    Good post Slim.

    1. That's me. I don't care. I don't even think about it. I remember 1 ex who was upset because I wasn't jealous of his new GF.

      1. I have to agree… At the end of the day beauty is in the eye of the beholder besides I am not naive enough to think I am a 10 in eveyones eyes…

  11. Being the first guy to comment..

    I was in a long term relationship with a HS sweetheart (Dominican shorty for 6 years). We grew apart towards the end but no ill feelings towards each other so I really wanted the best for her.

    Two months later I check FB and see her in a pic with a dude I thought was her uncle. I'm pondering wtf did she see in him and some bg investigation turns up that he was 18 YEARS older than her, divorced w/ 2 kids aaaannd MEXICAN!!!!

    I (in private) flipped the fcuk out!!! Now this girl graduated with the second Highest GPA in her class with a Nursing degree, so she wasn't a slouch by any means. Even her MOM called me and was like (en espanol), "She has lost her mind, why did she break up with you, you were right for her…etc.. All i could tell her was it's her choice.

    My ex invited me to her graduation (damn right I deserve to see my investments pay off) and her ENTIRE family runs to me like we miss you, her pops hugs me calls me Son in FRONT of her and her lil bros are like she's crazy!

    Then her new beau comes to where we were and her parents give him the look of DEATH and father refuses to shake his hand. Im standing there like "oh Sugar Honey Ice Tea". I introduce myself with a firm grip and told him to take care of her. I told her if this is what you want then so be it.

    Her parents invite me out to dinner and NOT him but I politely declined, bowed gracefully and walked away heads high.. then proceeded to tell my then gf the whole story LOL

    PS. She is now currently pregnant with his child, but she is excited and happy about it. Which is what really matters, I guess.

  12. This is a phenomenon indeed. LOL

    My ex-husband cheated and married the woman who is really the total opposite of me. She is not the most attractive woman in the world…she wears alot of weave(and my ex claimed for years he hated that). Everything he told me he hated over the years of me knowing him..this woman represents. But they are two of a kind in character, morals and personality…so I think he found his match. LOL.

    When men date down in general (in my opinion) they are seeking something beyond the surface at that point..and its deliberate….they are looking to validate themselves some kinda way..and make themselves feel better.

    Women date down all the time…and we are mostly operating off of emotion..its not intentional..and whoever we're with…even if he aint FINE to the outside observer..he's FINE to us…until we get mad then he's an ugly summabish then…lol.

    1. "When men date down in general (in my opinion) they are seeking something beyond the surface at that point..and its deliberate….they are looking to validate themselves some kinda way..and make themselves feel better."

      I agree w/ the first part of the statement but it doesnt agree w/ the second part of the statement. Hypothetically, let's say I break up w/ a dime who is a complete a**hole and get w/ a 7 who is a sweetheart. #1) that may be considered an upgrade. #2) how does that validate me? or make me feel better?

      1. I have to agree with you on this one Bro. As long as I find her attractive and she is what I want and need. A person that makes me feel good vs the relationship I just got out of, I could care less what anyone thinks. You can be a dime on the outside and penny on the inside.

        Never judge a book by it's cover because the content could be amazing!!!

        PJ

  13. Have you all ever thought that looks may not be everything to some people? I mean lately I have been noticing some men who I would consider highly attractive with someone that to me I wouldnt consider attractive but then I got to thinking obviously she got something that caught and kept his attention and thats why he is with her and vice a versa. So now when I see an ex with someone I dont think looks better than me I just think to myself well she must got that "it" factor that I didnt have. Wish them them the best.

    1. I respect that, I say it takes a real grown women to get past all the trival ish…Maybe she warms his heart in a manner in which I couldn't…

    2. I was in a discussion with some family members once.

      My cousin: "Looks aren't everything. It's what's inside that counts."

      My brother: "That's something that only ugly people say."

      There's no point to that story.

      LOL

  14. QueenT: When men date down in general (in my opinion) they are seeking something beyond the surface at that point..and its deliberate….they are looking to validate themselves some kinda way..and make themselves feel better.

    #Cosign I agree with this just for he simple fact what my ex said in regards to his new boo ("looks don't matter to me anymore") Ninja Say What!!!! Woowwww!! But it has to be truth cuz I've seen her (she's a total opposite of moi). I guess that explains why he was constantly blowing up my phone wanting to kick it like goodfellas.. *smhh*

  15. I really dont see why people give 2 sh*ts. #1) Half of the feeling is hate. Let's just be honest. We're a tidbit upset that the person has the ability to move on at all. It reminds me of when I first went away to college. I expected my house to crumble w/o me and when I came back for Thanksgiving and everyone proceeded w/ their lives. It kinda hurt my feelings. #2) If you're really as great as you say are then there probably arent many people who compare to you anyway. Sometime the only direction is to go down.

    1. Lol @ Peyso… I was thinking the same thing. As in agreement w/ #2. I never really had this phenomena happen to me b/c I believe I'm the greatest… so what other direction is there to go but down? It doesn't surprise me when it happens. I also don't think I care as much b/c I typically don't know the girl they are dating… who am I to judge their relationship. From the outside she might seem like a slore but she could be Sister Saint. #shrug

    2. We *here* because I can't figure out what/who he chooses after me has to do with me or reflects on me.

      I mean would you feel validated or think "good for him" if that person was prettier, smarter, a better person, blah, blah than you? I don't get it.

      1. This is OFF topic, but…is that you at ur wedding!? I've missed something in the last 2 wks it seems and if so CONGRATS

  16. Lol this reminds me of a post I think I saw here about men downgrading after a relationship because "pretty girls are crazy", so they might down grade to a 5 or 6 (out of 10) and be happy.

    I've never really experienced this. I never really worried who an "ex" was dating after we broke up. I don't keep in touch. But all of my exes continue to call and apologize to me after over 3 years and more…..and I let it go to voice mail, simply b/c there's nothing to talk about.

    I'm happily in a relationship…….so I never really cared about that stuff…….and the best revenge is always living well.

    1. ".and the best revenge is always living well."

      Absolutely…I've always said this. Glad to see someone else knows and believes it!

    2. ……..and the best revenge is always living well.

      ABSOLUTELY!!!! #shakestambourineHard

      My motto is… If You LIKE it — I LOVE IT!!!!!

      No Hard Feelings or ill Will I alwayz wished and STIll Do to this day Wish him/her the Best.

  17. There was only one time I raised an eyebrow to who an ex was dating. o.O

    It wasn't hate, it was general confusion. I had moved on, we were friends… he called & asked about a girl we went to school w/ & what I thought about her. I told him what I knew, she was <del>rolling outta control</del> a little more friendly than most. I even told him the conquests that I knew of. He acknowledged it said thanks 4 the info. 2 wks later they're dating…didn't surprise me. He doesn't have enuf game to swindle the panties w/o a relationship farse. My confusion started when she graduated from school. He & I broke up (or so I thought) b/c I graduated. He still had some time left & felt long distance would be a struggle plus "another man would be able to 'give me' more than he could" while he was completing his studies. She graduates… I expect the break-up of the century… & nothing happens. I was so confused. I don't even know how to explain it. So many questions… the <del>roller?</del> <del>slore?</del> friendly girl? Fo' real? In love? Seriously? It's been another year now & from all reports they're still together happily. We've had to be in the same place @ the same time a cpl of times… 1 was very awkward — I swear they bore a hole into the side of my face w/ their eyes & everybody @ the party noticed. The other time, she didn't acknowledge my presence (which was fine) but got upset when he did. Anyways… I'm cool w/ it, never had any hate… mostly confusion. But I realize I'm not supposed to understand everything SOOOO… <del>even though I thought the h0es were for everybody</del> I wish them the best of luck.

    1. "He doesn’t have enuf game to swindle the panties w/o a relationship farse." – Not gonna front, this was me until senior yr in HS lol

  18. My ex-bf dated an ugly girl after me. He didn't care because she was "fly" in terms of name brands she wore. None of his friends ever said that she was pretty, they just said that she was "cool and fly" They ended up having a baby together…The baby slightly resembles him, but look mostly like her. I'm a teacher, I like children, but their child is not cute. Since our breakout, he's told me that he regrets his decision, but he would never change his daughter for the world. I'm happy that he's happy, as for his babymother, she's still a buttaface..

  19. My 2 HS boyfriends dated "down" after me… One got the chick pregnant a couple weeks after we broke up and ended up marrying her. The other started dating this chick a couple months after we ended and then married her this year. I was never really too concerned with what they chose but all i wanted to know was if she's so great- why are you still calling me?

    All of my exes are exes for a reason- and if that reason makes us irreparable then by all means my friend- enjoy your love. Although if my last ex find someone who is not as great as me- I'll cut him. I swear.

  20. When men date down in general (in my opinion) they are seeking something beyond the surface at that point..and its deliberate….they are looking to validate themselves some kinda way..and make themselves feel better.

    _________________________________

    First part is true. If you look better than the new girl, than he choose her for reasons other than looks. She treats him the way he wants to be treated. Most men, at some point in there life come to this conclusion……I would rather be treated the way I want to be treated than have a dime piece, five star chick with a stank attitude.

    I've always felt that most men that only date dime pieces tend to be very insecure. They're worried about what other people will say. Running around looking for physical perfection seems like it would seriously limit your prospects. I think Jerry Seinfield said only about 10% of the population is beautiful. 🙂 So get beyond the physical and you'll understand how a 1 to 5 took your significant other. Personality was a 10.

    (Disclaimer: Not directed at anyone inparticular.)

    1. J: So get beyond the physical and you’ll understand how a 1 to 5 took your significant other. Personality was a 10.

      Nuff Said…….

      Damn!!!!!

    2. This is so true..I think so many people focus on the physical and seem to think that is the only important thing when looks will fade but the beauty inside is what really counts.

  21. "He doesn’t have enuf game to swindle the panties w/o a relationship farse. "

    ____________________________

    Phaaa. ROFL. I've never heard this concept stated so eloquently.

  22. Once you are my ex, I don't care what or who you do. And I don't like hearing about my ex from my friends. If you have truly moved on, you are not stuck on the fact that the ex has moved on to someone YOU perceive as lame, or not as pretty. Who cares about your opinion? It's not about you.

    I think a lot of this has to with hate. The ex has moved on from the greatness that is you, and it bothers you. Here's the thing, perhaps you aren't that great. Or at least, you weren't that great in the relationship, and the ex is now with someone who has the qualities that they like/love, and now you are feeling slighted. Build a bridge, and get over it.

  23. Honestly, aside from my wife I've had only 2 relationships that I would consider serious. In both instances, after we broke up and had both moved on – all I hoped was that they were happy. After all the heartache I put them through – all I could hope was that they would eventually find someone and be happy with that someone.

  24. #1 – Everyone who said they don't care is lying to an extent. it will intriegue you one way or another. You may not "care' but I'm sure you have an opinion

    #2 – I always upgrade. Only way I know how to rock. Sometimes people think theyre upgrading and we dont. Think to every relationship you knew that you questioned: The people in the relationship think its an upgrade or its better than the next. Sometimes love/feelings blind, feel me?

    #3 – People will always run back and tell you what they think. Ive always saw dudes my exes would get with and just say "ok cool". Im naturally analytical, so i already devise a theorem as to why she wen tin that direction and accept it as such. You can only control you. Let it be their loss, revel in the fact that you appreciate your own self worth, and K.I.M.

    1. your right streetz I did have an opinion but I always end up checking myself and if I was going to be real with myself I wasnt all that great when we were together. We are all a work in progress and when I look at the younger me I wouldnt have put up with her neither.

  25. I don't really keep up with many of my exes except one. Her new guy is OK. So I can't relate.

    Shubby doo: "I know another girl former model…she held her own…light skinned, tall, lovely and vibrant…she dated this guy (who I might add I had something to do with but hey…that’s another story) yet he cheated on her with a girl who was 8 years younger, short, dark skinned, bow legged, no job…face like a bull dog…"

    You know Halle Berry?

  26. never angry or disappointed. almost always a laugh. But maybe they are a good fit, we were not. 'tis life. I personally don't think I ever downgrade but you know…I'm not supposed to! perhaps the exes think the same…as I laugh from a distance. LOL

    but truthfully, its never that serious to me. do what you do.

  27. My ex dated down after me.. But honestly, it didn't matter..

    it's taken me a LONG while, but when i see facially challenged people in relationships (or married) i shrug my shoulders and say "she's doing something right, because she's got someone".. and that's the truth.. my mother likes to talk about people that aren't pretty and that statement usually shuts it down.. because she doesn't have anyone either..

    For whatever reason, he saw something in her that I didn't provide.. And i'm not gonna try and understand what it is.. because i really don't care..

  28. @ nickerz

    "Facially challenged"…lol.

    Now haven't we all witnessed a time or two when our exes choose either alien or predator. I personally never really paid any mind as to who they chose to date 'cause they're the ones who are with these crazy lookin' women. They can deal with the stares or they're boys talkin' in the ears. Not my concern. We had our time. I move on and laugh about it later. ; )

  29. My ex dated down after me, and it bothered me because she was the chick he cheated on me with. When I questioned him why he chose her because she was not cute in any sense of the word, he claimed that she was "mad cool" O_o!! Even his friends was like he really played himself with that one.

    He also questioned why I dated the dude I dated after him, he thought I was dating down,, but dude was putting it down and WINNING in ways my ex could never even imagine. LOL! Either way he was good looking to me and treated me well. In the end that's all that really counts.

    1. This is my exact situation. Dude is def dating the reason for our breakup and to me he doesnt look that happy but to each his own. He got what he wanted. My new dude is WINNING like u said so I'm good!

  30. I think about this situation like this…

    Jay-Z has many great albums. I like the Blueprint, Black Album, Kingdom Come, American Gangster and Blueprint 3… When BP3 came out, I was like ehh.. I expect nothing less but the best.

    For me, i'd like to say I always upgrade when I break up with a chick. But I really only date a certain caliber of women. Therefore… yeah I can say that I keep a high standard. (I.e, when asked what to do if my last car was a Maybach, I said, get an Aston Martin.)

    As for my exes, I wish them the best, and I do my best to show them what they deserve, what they can have, and what they should feel comfortable demanding from a man. And to date, all the ones that fell short after me, have broken up with those guys and then informed me they forgot that I showed them they deserved the whole dayum universe and should settle for nothing less.

    So i'm unsure how to comment on this one…

  31. personally i feel like all my exes downgraded. don't much care who they moved onto. the next dude is going to be a downgrade. yep i said it. seriously though i don't care too much about the love life of my exes once we are done. if i don't feel an emotional attachment to you then why should i care. people who do care aren't really being honest with themselves of their feelings for their ex.

    1. "if i don’t feel an emotional attachment to you then why should i care. people who do care aren’t really being honest with themselves of their feelings for their ex"

      TRUTH!!!!!!

      I had this discussion with my ex when we were on our kickin it like goodfellas flow… I said to him if you are happy with your new booski then why you care what and who I'm doing?

      Don't you want me to be just as happy as you are??? His Answer: HELLZ NO cus I AIN'T HAPPY – I MISS YOU!!!!

      #holdsheadinhands

  32. To all the ppl that feel like their ex's dated down after their break up, is it at all possible that maybe, when they were dating you, they were dating up… which means… you were dating down?

    Just wondering.

  33. Have I ever downgraded? Hmm… In terms of looks or personality? Quality of relationship or quality of sex? People are trying to use unified language to compare apples to peaches to cabbage. I'm always dating a person I'm attracted to. So to me, I'm golden.

    To everyone else, who knows? Third parties can pick random things about the two women and compare and contrast all day. "Oh he downgraded. His ol' girl used to have a tight shoe game but current lady is just functional." I mean… c'mon…

    If I don't care about the person, I don't care about what/who they're doing or who they're dating and how they compare to me. We all have some idea of self worth; but mine is not augmented or diminished by some comparisons of someone I don't know with someone I'm no longer involved with.

    I could "upgrade" or "downgrade" with something new. But that something new will get old. A great situation is where both people upgrade within a relationship. The stats at the start might not matter so much. So I compare who my currently is dating (me) to someone she used to date (me). The greatest invention of a man is the reinvention of himself.

  34. “Personally, I’ve had an ex cross over to lesbianage and another one join mediocrity with quite a lame and ignorant Frat dude.”

    I thought by pure definition all frat dudes were lame….

    :0)

    1. Now Now Eddie, I think it's clear to all the greeks on here that you're an interest. This is not the right way to go about getting on line.

      please visit www.(InsertOrgYou'reInterestedInHere).com and check out their membership requirements…

      lol… j/k

      *Please note – APhiA is a non-hazing Organization.

      1. ROTFLMAO Most!

        And The frat dudes on here aren't lame but you can see that Eddie. As a Greek, i know some lames & they are not as eloquent as the men & women that comment here.

  35. speak on it! lolz

    as someone who has gone through these feelings recently, i can't help but chuckle a little bit reading this. but in the end, when it's all said and done, i've learned that we have to realize that people want what people want, so who is to say if the new chick/dude is better or worst? people cannot and should not be compared because no two persons are the same. what one lacks the other may have and vice versa so i say "live and let live" and keep it pushing.

  36. I was actually happy when I saw my ex dating someone fugly with "short bus" intelligence because that just means my curse worked!

    ~Holds up my fingers at ex *color purple style* and told him "until you do right by me and give back my CD's and books everything you sex/date will be stale" ~ mwahahaha 🙂

    Seriously though, I wasn't mad, I was happy. Because knowing my value I was right in thinking he would not find anyone better than me. Period. Three conniving, cheating and below average women later, he finally got it. (How do i know? because his brother told me lol)

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