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Ugly dudes STAY winnin!

Its gotta be the dreds...

As I perused the internets and some of my favorite blogs sites, I saw a recurring theme. Slim Jack spoke on dating down at his home-base.  Max wrote about great guys and how they date “regular chicks”. Seattle WA spoke on women who use their beauty to get ahead. No not THAT way, but maybe? I also had a few chats about the theme of looks and dating, and I come to a fact that is generally known and needs to be cosigned more: Ugly dudes STAY winnin when it comes to women! I know a lot of people who throw the prince side eye when they see a snaggle toothed Flava Flavian brother with a beautiful women, but there’s a few reasons why the less visual pleasing gentlemen remain victorious.

Their Game is Immaculate
I remember when I was younger, how my cousin and our boys would clown each other. They used to call him ugly all the time, yet when he responded “But I get [women] though!” they were silent. This man could sell fire to Johnny Blaze or Storm! He wasn’t “ugly ugly” but he wasn’t a pretty boy either. Ugly dudes  develop super slang, as they know that verbal intercourse will assist in getting (and keeping) a woman’s attention. They seem to know when to say it, how to say it, and how to react to what’s said. I swear ugly dudes coined the terms “Excuse me miss can I get 5 minutes of your time?” or “…But you can’t have friends though?” You can learn a thing or two from an ugly dude on how to chat with the fairer sex.

See Also:  My Expectations Of Marriage

Confidence/personality is on a hundred thousand trillion
If you ever need a lesson or a muse in believing in yourself, find an ugly dude. These guys refuse defeat. Surrender is not an option. Their [insert a word other than sw@g] is everlasting. They can get shot down by 6 women, only to believe that 7 times a charm. Confidence goes far in courting a woman, and these men have damn near perfected this craft. If you don’t tell yourself that “you’re the ish” then who will?  There’s something to be said about having a million dollar mindset with quarter water looks.

All other aspects of appearance are enhanced
When someone is blind, it is said that all other senses are enhanced to above average levels. Hearing is more acute. Smell is twice as potent. Taste and touch are attuned to super sensitive levels. These other sense compensate for a lack of sight. In the same fashion, an ugly dude enhances other aspects of their visual. They will have the freshest kicks.  They’ll wear clothes that compliment their personality. They will hit the gym and work on that beachbody. They’ll drive miracle whips. They’ll even roll with “the beautiful people” in their crew! All other aspects of the visual will be enhanced, and the total package [||] will be complete.

See Also:  5 Things You Should Never Do When You First Start Dating

They’re blowing women’s backs out
These unaesthetic pleasing individuals are laying more pipe than Mario and Luigi.  If y0u question anything else I’ve written on this topic, take this point to church. Good sex will make a woman’s thoughts jumbled and increase your attractiveness 1000%. Think of how many relationships should’ve ended about 6 months sooner than they did. A lot of times sex makes women hold on (another post another day). In the case of an Ugly Dude, it makes them sexy and “handsome”.  Who knew slaying v@gina could cure the common could make a dude look sexy?

So there you have it. I salute you my anti pretty, anti cute brethren! Keep making it do what it does. I see you brother. Avatar.

Ladies, do you agree? Have you ever dated an ugly dude and saw these qualities? Any self professed “ugly dudes” have a testimonial? “Handsome” dudes, #youmad?

My mama said I’m her handsome son, so eff yall!


  1. I've been reading this blog for a year now, but this is my first comment. Hey yall!!! I guess noone else is up, but it's 7:38 am here, I'm on vacation with sh*t else to do but chill:)

    Anyhoo….I can soooo relate to this post. *bows head in shame* I've stayed with a very aesthetically challenged man coz….well HE PUT IT ON ME LIKE NOBODY ELSE!

    *fans self*

    1. I'm up…but finna go to bed!

      But hey, we all gotta get ours…just keep the brown paper bag over his head & think of Boris Kodjoe! lol

    2. Thanks for the comment! Thanks for keeping it real too…lol. I'm telling you if nothing else, these cats are tearing down more walls than a demolition company!

    3. *waves* Welcome! Trust, you are not alone. Micheal Jackson.

      Where you vacationing at?

      *kicks self for the Drakeism.

      1. I'm in Norway to see my folks. And before anyone says anything YES, THERE BLACK FOLKS IN NORWAY lol. Ever since I moved to GA that's all people ask when they realize my nationality. lol Norway got it all: fjords, trolls, midnigth sun……and Black folks lol

        1. And are they Nigerian? lol. I have ONE family friend living out in Norway and they are Nigerian. Is there a place on earth they haven't reached? Probably not.

        2. LMAO there are plenty of Naija folks here lol. You know yall everywhere (well assuming that you're Nigerian….). My girls brother is having a baby a Nigerian/Iranian lady. Yes, father Naila and mama Iranian. I just find it hilarious….well…you know….lol

          But I love love love my Naijas though 🙂

  2. “…But you can’t have friends though?”

    ^^^Gotten that more than a few times! It annoys me!

    This post made me laugh out loud on a few occasions (i think i woke my cousin's baby laughing out loud), starting with the caption for the picture!

    My mama said I’m her handsome son, so eff yall!

    ^^^Laughed at this too but you are handsome Streetz so i can't disagree! =0)

    My HS sweetheart wasn't the cutest but he was a nerd/intelligent and BRILLIANT on a violin…so i ignored the looks…we weren't having sex (my v-card was tucked in the most brolic looking dude you can imagine's back pocket, ie NO one was taking it) so that wasn't causing me to stay with him but the reasons i mentioned (besides the fact that i didn't always think i was pretty) made me really like him!

    Passed that, i haven't really dealt with ugly dudes at worst, i've dealt with Average.

  3. "In order to keep the broad, you dont have to do it to her body, you gotta do it to her mind"-Don "Magic" Juan from Method Man's "Sweet Love"

    id hate to ever lean on the words of a world reknowned Pimp, but in this case, he kinda hit it on point. Ive heard women say "DayL8…I just want to be treated right". Mouthpiece is a mo-fo…swag isnt about looks, its about how you walk wit it, if you own it…I know a lot of "pretty" dudes with no real amount of appeal other than they wavy hair. And I know a lot of average looking women with some FIRE head doctor skills cause they know if they cant rely on they looks, they can rely on something else. women giving good noggin is a dying art in my opinion….I tell my homegirls (the really really pretty ones…lol) "if you aint killin it in ya bedroom, or at least workin it hard as you can and goin for dolo, another chick always will". forgive my ADD, I got sidetracked…we all know women are less consumed with looks. they'll marry a man for the stability he provides, and they use what I call the "sliding scale" i.e. "hes not cute, but hes educated,ambitious, and a good man, so thats 3 out of 4". and with the man shortage that is said to be in effect, add all that up and its obvious why "average" cats stay winnin'

    1. “In order to keep the broad, you dont have to do it to her body, you gotta do it to her mind”-Don “Magic” Juan from Method Man’s “Sweet Love” #This right here!!!!…


      I swear Brain F***ing…… *shoooooooo

    2. That's what we call rolling with an "at least." The young man is NOT cute but…AT LEAST he's got a good job.

      I can't say I play by those rule per se, but I have many friends who do.

      I agree with everything else you said though. Lmao bout brothers with wavy hair doing nothing else though.

      1. I'll be the first to tell you…I dont play by them rules either. I need sexy, I need a chick with shoe game, I need a chick with some hustle and ambition. "I'll starve before I eat some bullshyt"…and I mean that. but say 10 years from now…after Im tired of my proverbial starvation…I might pull that sliding scale out and adjust it a lil bit in favor of a chick I'd rate as a six, that rides me with a cowboy hat on in the bedroom, and can hook a steak up. #knocksonwood . you just have to relize that "perfection" doesnt exist, just "perfect for me", which is all relative, anyway.

  4. 'My mama said I'm her handsome son, so eff y'all'


    *side eyes streetz*… Erm…aint u…like…her only son!!!

    I smile every time I see an ugly dude with a beautiful woman. Dude is winning, he knows it, and that confidence radiates out and only makes him more attractive. I see pics of Seal and Heidi klum and it just warms my heart 🙂

    The uglys definitely play a different game to their fine counterparts. I like the fact that bcos they can't count on looks to make the best first impression, lyrically ugly dudes are better with the conversation…their game is tight that way…maybe it's cos they know they've gotta make their luck to keep it happening.

    So yep…U've gotta learn to make the best use of what God gave u and not get weighed under by what he didn't. I've got nothing but respect for that approach to life.

      1. #Slapyoself….. Hard!!!!!

        Eeeewwwwwww #ishudder

        But we ALL know why Heidi let Seal climb that mountain and put a ring on it.

        So yeah Cosmestically Challenged Dudes WIN by ANY MEANS NECESSARY!!!!!

    1. *side eyes streetz*… Erm…aint u…like…her only son!!!

      Don't hate on the love me and my mom share!!!

      And you biggin Seal up is an African swindle… whatever yo…

    2. Co-Signature. I got nothing else to add so..uh..PARABENS. Seal and Heidi are a precious duo.

      Uh…I was thinking…wouldn't Streetz mom HAVE to say he's handsome…I mean…I'ont know any parents that would tell their kid otherwise. That may be a #swindle that needs to get looked in to lol. Carry on!

        1. Oh shush, ur acting like folks don't know what ur pasty face looks like. LOL. I'm playing! Com a carinho. Don't fight me

  5. I've definitely been there. Not necessarily an ugly guy, but a lesser attractive than usual guy who was pretty darn amazing in bed got GOT way longer than altogether necessary. It happens. But it didn't last…of course.

    1. I have been in the same exact situation… Mine didn't last either. Towards the end, I recall thinking "Ur not cute enough to be this annoying". And that was that.

  6. This is exactly why I usually don't go for the pretty boys. Not to say that I date ugly men, but I just feel like men who are a little rough around the edges have everything else together. This post is the truth! lol

  7. Give me a moment to compose myself…lol….

    This is very funny, but very true. I, too, have been a victim of the funny/witty/body-blesser/well-dressed "ugly" dude. BUT, I'm okay with it. Personally, I'm not a fan of "pretty" dudes, although that's all I seem to attract 🙁

    ANYWAYS. Ugly dudes tend to be a bit rougher, a bit handy, a bit of everything else that really matters that a man is/have…at least to me. I'm a fan of the "ugly man"…he treats you well, it's all good, I'm fast asleep…

    …and look at here…There is breakfast in the morning…

    Yes! I am a fan 🙂

        1. I've always heard low self esteem is the key to people dating someone who's "ugly" just because they don't feel that they're good enough for an attractive person. I mean I have guy friends who date women I wouldn't date but to each his own.

  8. I am a no p*ssy-gettin' nigga (for now)… And one of the unfair things in life is that MEN, can be bald, fat & short (4"2"), and STILL get Beyoncé hopelessly devoted… unfortunately 4"2" ugly bald women don't have that same luxury…

    And even when we are 60, 70, 80+ we can still bag some 20+ dime… But how many women you know you would tap after 60 (depends on her bank account, :-D)…?

    Life's Not Fair… Stop Rooting For Even, in an uneven society…


  9. I can attest to less than attractive brothas being very, very persistent. They just don't give up. And not even in a desperate way (well, not all the time). They can get played to the left a thousand times and it doesn't shake them. They don't get their egos all in a knot like their more attractive brethren when you turn them down. Maybe it's because they already know that they're unattractive? lol. Of course, their is the ugly side to the ugly brotha . . . that will hound you and harass you like that will make you give them the time of day. LOL. But, like I said . . . they're persistent.

    Can someone please explain why unattractive women stay winnin? I'm baffled, lol. *sings* It must be the a.ss cuz it ain't yo face . . .

    1. I was JUST about to say…Team Ugly stays winnin. Because ugly women are exactly the same. I've sat back and been like, "how in the world did she pull THAT?!" {insert confused face}

      Personally, I've stayed away from ugly men (so I've been told). I struggle with not being attracted to someone I'm dating. I'm not one that keeps people around me long enough to "grow on me" if there's not something attactive about their face…a male, eyebrow raise, scar…hell anything. I've been known to be called shallow. Lol.

  10. Ok. I might have let a couple ugly dudes slip through the cracks [||], but under specific circumstances:

    1. I've known them for so long, that they've grown on me and after a while (of being pursued like Steve Urkel on Laura), gave in. Of course he had it all, educated, funny, sophisticated, well-dressed and ended up being a bully in the sheets. *Amber Rose shrug* who knew!?

    2. Got caught up on the rebound. Now this is a #swindle 'cause after laying in the cut in friend mode, waited for the perfect moment of weakness to strike. Did I knock this? No. All's fair in love and war.

    But what gives the rude awakening that the ugly dude really can't win? The babies. I'm sorry but my daughter AIN'T coming out looking like Flavs mini-me! Call me shallow if ya want! *BBM Talk to the hand smiley*

    1. But what gives the rude awakening that the ugly dude really can’t win? The babies. I’m sorry but my daughter AIN’T coming out looking like Flavs mini-me! Call me shallow if ya want! *BBM Talk to the hand smiley*

      This is funny on so many levels, lmaooo!! So thinking long term you wouldn't sacrifice the chirrens looks? I dig that! Coming from Danni this is 3times as funny cause I KNOW you don't play THAT!

      1. I'm just sayin Streetz! I think a lot of chicks are fronting. Let Idris Elba walk into a room and I got The Hunchback of Shadyville on my arm. He can kiss the baby! I'm not shallow by any means. I just know that he gotta be close enough to eye candy to leave the lights on and possibly make a baby with.

        Yes, The ugly dude will win a few battles but he's not winning the war (with me at least). He's nice, can carry a good convo, enjoys the finer things, but it's only gonna go but so far. And you know what? He knows this too! He's just enjoying the ride as long as he can. And if he ends up being wifed, it's his lucky day! Listen, he's already self-sufficient and confident enough and knows how to take an L with dignity.

        And let me bring an ugly dude home, Streetz. Even my MOM would be giving me the side eye like, "C'mon Dan."

        1. So Danni, what do you make of the ideal couple who child comes out ugly or average because they were unfortunate enough to get all of the flawed genes. Or maybe they just got a combination of genes that are not flawed by themselves but just don't necessarily mesh well together?

  11. LOL I just started following and you all are hilarious! Love It. I can think of this one dude that I didn't date but always wondered how he pulled some of the most beautiful women (dude looked like the grand reeper). So, I had to break it down.

    Swagger from his walk to his talk. Cool as heck and dressed fly….oh and he had a nice whip……I guess thats what pulled him. I actually dated his friend which looked a lot better lol. Ugly dudes have confidence and need love too!

  12. @Danni I am not mad at you… Honesty is sexy… Although once that Flavor Flav pulls out is sexual arsenal, I think you can overlook the mini-flav's that cum poppin' out

    @BSQUARED86 I love unattractive women (what a oxymoron)


    Guys would be surprised how hard these pretty women have it… When people are attractive they tend to rely on it… And don't work on there relationship skills (women) OR sex skills… So once I get this pretty woman in bed and she is lame… And she doesn't want to cook, clean or be a good companion… She gets pumped & dumped…

    Where as a lesser attractive woman with a better compensation package can hook a guy if SHE CAN SCUK THE CHROME OFF A BUMPER… or other crucial relation-sex skills…

    Pretty & Attractive will always get you an audition… But substance will get you the leading role… And the same goes for unattractive men

    Did I explain that well…


    22 Year Old, SBM, From NYC

    1. Well said thats why a lot of pretty women are sitting pretty single and wondering why looks arent going to keep a relationship a float. You arent a painting do something besides posing

    2. Agreed. But even if you are pretty and can do all of those other things it doesn't always make it better. The women often get treated like a trophy and the men act scared.

  13. I can attest to the ugly guys stay winning theory…I'll tell u why I've dated a few less attractive guys: Personality. "Ugly" guys tend to be nicer, dress well, & eager to please in the bedroom. "Ugly" guys are more humble than the more attractive ones & they are grateful to a pretty woman for being with them. I don't want children so I'm not concerned with them looking like their father. The best relationships I've had have been with men with below average looks. They're on to something! LOL

  14. What about the paper mayne?

    Some of my homey's are balling like crazy (Nigerian Uni students).

    I would say 90% of the reason they get laid so often and with the calibre of women, is a derivative of their black cards. Whether it's extra swag in the garms, the cockyness whatever.

  15. Streetz you are a FOOL! LMAO! 🙂

    I think I touched on this yesterday…..ugly dudes do indeed stay winning..and for most of the reasons you stated above…

    I would like to be the first to admit I have dated a facially challenged man. He was an African….and he was really nice and took me to the most exquisite restaurants. But, he was kinda crazzy..after he saw I wasn't giving up the goods(anytime soon if ever)..he told me he was going to sue me for the monies he had spent on me for those dinners. He went ballistic! My grandmother set us up..so I blame her..bless her li'l heart. LOL. SMH

    I am in a stage in my life where looks are irrelevant. I am not looking for Boris Kodjoe….but, certainly not Flava Flav…somewhere in the middle would be cool..looks don't matter to me anymore..I'm going deep, now.

    1. somewhere in the middle would be cool..looks don’t matter to me anymore..I’m going deep, now.

      Thats what she said.

      And the fact that he was gonna sue you has me doubled over in tears!

    2. OMG–no, he didn't say he was going to sue. ROFL.

      "I am not looking for Boris Kodjoe….but, certainly not Flava Flav…somewhere in the middle would be cool."

      That's where I am. I don't date ugly dudes anymore, but he doesn't have to be Boris or Denzel to get the digits either.

  16. Yes. It's true. They stay winning. They have a brand of persistence that's beyond reproach! I admire them for it and have fallen victim to it. For them, 'No' means 'try harder'. But with that said, sometimes they treat women better than the hot guy.

  17. One more thing…

    I think less attractive men stay winning because they deal with women who are interested in relationships, not women looking to brag about smashing the baddest dude in the club. Highly attractive men are awesome to look at, but the last time a dated a guy just because of his looks was college. When you're 19-21, it's cool to tell your girls about that fine upperclassman/freshman you hooked up with. Now, at this age, we are talking about real relationships, and people who still only deal with people based on looks alone will stay losing.

    Personally, I like the best of both worlds, attractive(to me) and great personality.

  18. I guess I can't relate, but it seems interfacial dating is extremely popular.

    You have some good theories as to why that is the case. Another theory I'll add is the "fed-up woman" theory. Women have been burnt by enough pretty boys that they give the cosmetically-deficient guy a chance. Or in some cases, with the supposed shortfall of available black men, an man with harsher facial qualities with a good personality, good job and owns his home becomes more attractive.

    1. Another theory I’ll add is the “fed-up woman” theory. Women have been burnt by enough pretty boys that they give the cosmetically-deficient guy a chance. Or in some cases, with the supposed shortfall of available black men, an man with harsher facial qualities with a good personality, good job and owns his home becomes more attractive.

      I cosign this. Excellent theory! I guess if they date a certain type of looking dude and continuously get burned, they need a change.

  19. Aaah yes, the proverbial 'Ugly Dude' lol

    He had a great personality, very nice, uber romantico, and made me laugh. And he was tall *swoons*

    Looks aren't everything to me, BUT there has to be some kind of attraction. I'm pretty easy going if you have everything else on point, such as intelligence and nice guy qualities (I don't do bad boys…yes, we do exist). Make sure you have confidence, because once a dude slips and admits to his unattractiveness then its a wrap…I am no longer attracted.

    I've decided I want to date a really hot guy (not to be read as pretty boy) at least once in my life, just for experimental purposes.

  20. Well I don't know much about ugly dudes, but I'd pass up a bad bitch for an average looking sweetheart any day of the week..

    I read like everybody's comments up to this point and I aint doin that again but whoever it was above that said pretty girls are falling short where it counts (no homo? pause? idk..) hit that shit on the head.

    As for ugly dudes.. I salute you

  21. Philosophically, men are judged for their accomplishments & how they can give women wonderful experiences…

    But again too many people rely on looks as a crutch with NO COMPENSATION package…

    Sometimes it's harder to pick up a lesser attractive female with a GOOD COMPENSATION package…

    Speaking of suing… I think a woman in FL got 150K, cause her ex-fiancé broke an engagement promise… So maybe my African brother has hope…

    1. "Speaking of suing… I think a woman in FL got 150K, cause her ex-fiancé broke an engagement promise…"

      You have to be kidding! WTH?!!

  22. And here we go again..

    Truth is, I always felt like the best looking dudes certainly get too much attention and end up last on the list in the long run cuz they feel like they don't gotta try.

    That made me feel like it was always important to have an outstanding flaw to keep your head on the ground. I'm only 5'7".. If I were 6'2" I'd be a different type of dude altogether..

  23. “…But you can’t have friends though?”


    I got a story about it, like to hear it? Hear it go….

    I had just finished my run around the lake, and this guy stopped his workout to come speak to me. Now, he wasn't ugly, per se, but he wasn't attractive enough for me to notice him while I was working out. So, he stops starts running game about how he just had to stop and speak to me because I was so beautiful blah blah blah. I give him the usual "I have a bf", and he says he just wants to be friends. While he is walking with me up to the parking lot still talking, I shoot him down again, and he comes with the “…But you can’t have friends though?” lol. It started thundering/lightnening, and I think I saw Toto, so I ran into the park office, and he accompanied me. Said he just wanted to keep me company while I wait for the rain to slack up a little. We sat there and talked, and I swear he pulled a Jedi mind trick. I sat there thinking, oh, he's not that bad, and he's smart, African, well traveled, smooth skin, straight white teeth, nice body, etc. lol.

    Yeah, we exchanged numbers. lol. It's funny because if I wasn't forced to seek shelter before I got to my car, I wouldn't have talked to him. Brotha was persistent, then walked me to my car after the rain stopped.

    Notasattractive men go after what they want. Attractive men sit back and wait for women to come to them, and this isn't always a good thing.

    1. "Notasattractive men go after what they want. Attractive men sit back and wait for women to come to them, and this isn’t always a good thing."

      You're right…early and persitent squirrel gets the nut…lol.

  24. According to some of my male friends, I end up with ugly dudes more often than not. So what? Don't judge me. They know how to treat me, they know how to keep a good conversation going and say all the right things to make me fall for them. The truth is women are far less concerned about the physical than are men. There are other aspects of a man that make him fly….

  25. "They’re blowing women’s backs out"

    That coulda been the whole damn post right there. Once an ugly n*cca finds out he can make 'em say oooooooooooooh, game.over. And it works for the women, cuz no one is really gonna be all up on their ugly duckling of a plumber. Shout out to the original Mr. Ugly Man that made it possible for the rest of us ugly muhf*ckas to win: Booyaka booyaka for Shabba Rankin.

  26. You also forgot…

    Ugly dudes compensate for their lack of aesthetics with Money better. I've heard all too many times a woman say "I don't care about looks" (immediately followed by me thinking "she lyin") and will be locked arms with a booger bear. Of course I noticed the Coogi sweater and the fist full of $20s and understood why.

    Never forget that money makes a man more attractive to women. It's scientifically proven and shyt.

        1. I wouldn't say Clueless more like Product of your Environment – Depending on where you live!!!!!

          22in rims on a tricked out impala/chrysler 300, etc…… Ole boy is balling in certain parts of the South I've seen it, but that ish is a NOGO where I'm from

  27. Heart break doesn't discriminate. An ugly brother will hurt you just as much as a good looking guy would. I found that out the hard way. Back in my younger days, I thought if I got with an ugly guy I wouldn't have to deal with the lies and cheating. I was wrong on so many levels. This X had two women on the side. From that day on, I vowed not to date any more ugly dudes.

    P.S. – You are so on point with this statement: "There’s something to be said about having a million dollar mindset with quarter water looks."

  28. I'm firmly opposed to mixing of the cuties and the uglies, but I will admit that I've been touched by the ugly brush during a moment of temporary insanity.

    Dude had been sweating me for donkey's years and I always gave him breezes, but he caught me in a weak moment after 2 years of celibacy and I let him slide.

    And yeah, he blew my back out!

  29. I'm curious to know how many men would date an ugly woman or one that society wouldn't consider attractive by its standards (height/weight proportioned).

  30. Mmmm date an ugly dude? Not so much. I may stray a bit from my standard deviation but if I can't look at you- I can't be with you.

    I will say though that best head I have EVER had came from a dude that was not completely satisfying to the eyes but after that cunningness he made me hot every time I saw him. I could never date him though.

  31. I know this guy! He'll walk up to a woman in the club, stare at her up and down, and then BRUK OUT and start dancing with her ("How dare she not look at me/dance with me") all before finding out if she has a man. He's the dude that is not only facially challenged, but is dentally challenged. He's the dude that everyone else has to apologize for. Everyone's convinced there's gonna be gunshots one day because he approached the wrong chick. He's the dude whose teeth are dyed red because he drank Gatorade and the plaque took on the Red Lake 20. He's THAT guy…

    the work ethic of some attractive men is like the personality of some pretty woman..

    walk with me, i'll explain.

    you often hear men complaining that pretty women don't have personality. or they have no brains. and it's because they don't have to. They've gotten by on their looks so much and for so long that they don't need to develop anything else. Everything else that had to be developed because i was a tomboy in high school (thus looked over) are skills that the pretty girl can afford to keep dormant. Such is the same with the attractive guy. He's most likely had cooter falling in his lap for a while, thus doesn't need to develop "blowin backs out" skills. by the time you've realized he can't, the rabbit s*x has already commenced, (and ended)..


    1. Co-sign the 2nd part of what you wrote. but you on the money. I heard a pretty girl say one time "I dont give head"…and I figured it was because "she didnt have to". but soon enough those skills that you lack begin to hinder you later on in the game.and one day a man is thinking "man my girl is SOOO BEAUTIFUL…". time goes by, the magic wears off…and its "MY GIRL IS SOOOOO BEAUTIFUL…BUT SHE CANT COOK SO WELL, AND SHE DONT BLESS THE MIC ENOUGH, AND SHE NOT THAT GOOD AT IT". beautifully challenged women gotta make up the difference, as well as men. the one thing I respect about "not that pretty women/not that fly dudes" is that they know their place in the food chain.

    2. Nick: "He’s the dude that is not only facially challenged, but is dentally challenged. He’s the dude that everyone else has to apologize for. Everyone’s convinced there’s gonna be gunshots one day because he approached the wrong chick. He’s the dude whose teeth are dyed red because he drank Gatorade and the plaque took on the Red Lake 20. He’s THAT guy…"

      You sound traumatized!

  32. I've had a few faciacally challenged men. They were cooler than December in Wisconsin, made me laugh, made me feel all safe and protected AND wrote their name on it with an eraseable Sharpie! I mean, had me cooking oxtails and butter beans, collards and hot water cornbread on a weekday ownership!


  33. Maybe off topic but, have you ever seen a ugly dude with a wh*te chick walk by a group of black chicks, and the black chicks start hating. I always think to myself, now yall know yall weren't checking for homey, yall probably called him all kinds of names in high school and wouldn't give him no play, now – he's winning… #YouMad

    I call it the Seal Effect. You know no black chicks were checking for Seal when Kiss from a Rose was out. Then he married Heidi Klum, made them beautiful babies and black women started doing double takes. I bet you Seal got turned down by black women his whole life… Homey went to Thailand, got his mind right, realized he was talented and made it happen. And then married one of the baddest chicks out and said #HowYaLikeMeNow

    So… All that to say… 3 Cheers to the greatest UglyDudeComeUp of all time – SEAL!


    1. Then he married Heidi Klum, made them beautiful babies and black women started doing double takes. #SHAKESHEADEXTRAHARD..

      Double takes….???? Maybe… but for different reasons not cuz now all of a sudden he resembles Idris Elba a little #when you squench your eyes to focus your severe astigmatism…… *lmao

      But on a serious note: European Women (i.e Germans) tend to love themselves some Black Men

      1. But on a serious note: European Women (i.e Germans) tend to love themselves some Black Men

        #cosign Spent the best 2 years of my life in S. Bavaria. Not only do they love us, but they treat you alot nicer too…

        1. ''…but they treat you a lot nicer…'' : sad… is there a vendetta against BW ?

          I often read in North American ''medias'' that some other women of other races are nicer, better, more loving etc then BW.

  34. @Kayenne ABSOLUTELY, I would date lesser attractive women… I like Toccara looking females, but if a woman is not exactly asthetically pleasing… I have questions…?

    Is her voice mellifluous…?

    Is she ultra feminine (or slightly masculine)…?

    Can she step up to he mic…? Swallows…? S*xually adventurous…?

    Is she dedicated to being a traditional female & not a ABW, or any other negative stereotypes…?

    Women like that I want to keep short-term… Build her up, then paddies on to the next man who might wife…

    Always leave them better than you found them…

  35. Are we really talking about "ugly people" per se OR are simply saying that there exist too many mofos that use cultivating their looks as an alternative to cultivating themselves? I say the later… I've ran into too many "pretty"-but-dumb women to be interested in how she looks given it took her 4 hours a home and some in the car to get it right. lol

    But ol' girl that's relaxed and confident is where it's at. I'll go for a plain Jane all day-everyday. They stand out since when you see them, they are themselves. Not some fabrication of media-induced thought of "pretty."

  36. @TheMostInterestingManintheWorld

    I can listen to you speak truths all day because you can articulate them so well…

    As far as the black women I am attracted to… I'm going through that now… 22, Negro, Black, NYC… unfortunately, no swag, not a criminal, talk like I am white, just a corny intellectual…

    I date white girls just to get black girl's attention… (@GirlSixx So yeah Cosmestically Challenged Dudes WIN by ANY MEANS NECESSARY!!!!!)…

    I believe in my case race has a little to do with (alot to do with it, when you have black women who want to be like white women #self-hating)

    When you have a cute girl on your arm "Social Proofing" is in effect (Influence Book By Robert Cialdini)… And in the eyes of attractive women, you're validated now… So they want you, despite the fact you have a SO now…

    Add a Bedroom Bully into the mix… And the women line up to get Bullied #Hee…

    But I have resentment for the girl that turned me down when I was on the come up, & then show up when I am the finished, polished product… #NoBueño

    1. Adonis, make friends with a crew of super bad black women. I mean like, mean chicks… good jobs, great shoe collection – all that. Don't even try to smash any of them, just become comfortable with them. Then, have a bbq or game night. At that bbq/game night, cook up a whole bunch of really good food. If you can't cook get help. Invite a select few guy friends – some cool – some lame. Invite your new crew of bad female friends. And, finally, invite all the women you have a romantic interest in. At said party, pay very little attention to the women you're interested in romantically. Just make sure they're comfortable and having a good time. Spend most of your time between your guy friends, and your crew of bad female friends.

      The next week, I promise you – all of the women you're interested in will call you.

      1. And that is why he is TMIMITW. Few things are more attractive to a woman than a man with a bad chick on his arm, and a man with better options who pays no attention to her. Especially when she sees those potential better options.

        This comment is Hugh Jazz certified.

      2. Dis knucka done gave away ALL the secrets with this one. This is fool proof all day long. Damn ladies, lol!!!

      3. Is that a joke ? You all make me feel like I come from a completely different world.

        If a man invites me at his place and don't show any interest, I will move on and put him in 'the friend list'.

        I had to read ALL your articles, not only SBM but Max, Diva, VSB etc… but I even had to google the word ''dating'', read the Hookup handbook, Think like a man etc… I came to the conclusion that I should stay single. It's too complicated, too many rules, games etc…

        Regarding ugly men, they all were cute in my eyes. Good personality, nice conversation etc…

        When I was younger, I wanted a cute BF only, I call that the ''purse man''. It's a trophy, you feel good with a nice LV purse and matching belt, shoes…(i digress).

        Now that I am more mature, I took the time to think about it, it doesn't matter (that much) anymore.

  37. I feel like SOME prettier men and i'll have to say some women too feel a sense of entitlement to having the best of the opposite sex whether that means great looks, hughly educated, sex god/goddess…they want it all. While these same pretties remain in a state of mediocrity (and are therefore probably from Toronto :P) and fail so miserably where it comes to actually having to work to gain the attention and keep that attention of who ever they are tryin to talk to, the fugly boys are hittin home runs.

    Not with me tho 😛 lol (bless my unborn)

    But I have seen many cases with my friends who have either gotten fed up with dating good-looking but lack lustre men, or simply a less attractive guy grabbed their attention because he was doing a whooole lot more. And God bless them for it too cuz ever last one if my friends is happy where they are at with their bush babies (i'm playing). More power to them for it.

      1. Haha I've known about the sub-par men in Toronto for sometime. At dinner on saturday night my girls from T.O and I went in on Toronto men. I almost choked to death laughing. I pray for you in that city lol. SMH

        1. Yikes! And I thought I liked Toronto! Great city, watch out for the men! Thanks for the heads up!

          I'm giving NYC the Prince side-eye though.

  38. not to sound conceited or anything but i'm far from ugly and i definitely fit 3 out of 4 things on that list. the fourth is a work in progress. #onmycockyish

    you're right though. ugly dudes do stay winning. i wonder why ugly chicks don't win at the same rate.

    1. "i wonder why ugly chicks don’t win at the same rate."

      because men are more superficial. and women lie to other women so they think they are prettier than they really are, and therefore don't try to cultivate other uhm… talents. then sit around wondering why they can't keep a man–cuz they "are so smart, have a good job, and look good"

      another swindle to keep their girlfriends from getting/keeping the good men #justatheory.

      1. co-sign

        It starts at an early age. How many times have you ever heard someone call an ugly girl child ugly? Maybe other kids, but no adult. They tell little over-weight, bucktoothed Susie she is so pretty in her yellow easter dress knowing it's a darn lie. We all need to do better.

        1. What should we say to these kids then? They're still kids and deserve to have their confidence cultivated. Of course we should not place the emphasis on physical attributes solely, but a not so cute child can look pretty or handsome in a nice outfit.

  39. Awesome post…

    Sorry bout any typos, too comfy to get out of bed and grab the laptop…

    My ex was the ugly duckling… but everything else you talked about was on point on all levels! The character/charisma, the fashion, the whip, the pipe laying, good lord the pipe laying!!! Lol

  40. This is an interesting post. I think I've only dated one dude that would be considered 'hot sh*t' the rest weren't ugly they were just better than average. Because of the APhiA type of man that he was… he really wasn't the dud a lot of hot sh*t guys tend to be. As a matter of a fact, we are still really good friends. Having never dated an 'ugmo' i really can't testify to any of the postings. I don't reject 'ugly' people but I can't say that I've seriously been approached by any either. Hm… wait! There was one guy… didn't eem tell my girls about him. Never dated him, didn't really grt down with the get down either… he transferred schools before all that happened but our chexual chemistry… absolutely AMAZING. *le sigh*

    1. I just re-read this… I don't even think I hit the main points of the post. LOL. I sukk at this. Anywho, I've been approached by a few sour face joints (yes, I said sour face… my friend said 'he looks like what happens when you eat sour candy >.< ) but I don't take club joints seriously most of the time so it usually ends there.

  41. This is my first time posting.

    There seems to be way too much self love going on nowadays, particularly amongst women.

    Can anyone answer for me how it came to be that there are so many more attractive women than there are attractive men?

    I agree with the poster who stated that people have forgotten, or better, overestimated their number on the attractiveness scale. The unattractive male knows he's unattractive because that subjective judgment has been made by men and more importantly attractive and above average women. These women for all intents and purposes either will not sleep with them or coitus will only occur once many a fiery hoop has been jumped through.

    Unattractive women know who they are and have become a bit discontented with their low status. This state of discomfit has been exacerbated by their more attractive than them friends thus leading to whole groups of women believing they are 8s, when in fact, they are 6s on their best days. Adding more tinder to this fire are the reckless sexual habits of above average and attractive men, who, when pressed, will have sex with these women, further confusing them.

    Whereas women approach the less attractive male with caution and on a case by case basis, the male employs no such tools of discernment, preferring to lob dynamite into the lake. The game will never be the same.

    1. Lindy Delapenha: "This state of discomfit has been exacerbated by their more attractive than them friends thus leading to whole groups of women believing they are 8s, when in fact, they are 6s on their best days. Adding more tinder to this fire are the reckless sexual habits of above average and attractive men, who, when pressed, will have sex with these women, further confusing them."

      Agreed. Easy $ex is partially to blame. Sometimes when a man just needs to get some, he’ll get it from any woman who is a four or above without hesitation (I’m looking at you Kobe. You too, Eric Benet). However, this leads women to overrate themselves.

      A lot of women associate themselves with the top-level guy they’ve slept with. If a woman who is a five slept with a guy who is a nine, she thinks she’s a nine, although she has no chance for a long-term relationship with a nine. That’s partially why so many women are so quick to brag about how they had a one-night stand with an actor or athlete. They think that raises their status, when she’s actually still the same five she always was.

      1. Then there are copulins. Female hormones that interfere with a man's ability to discern if a woman is attractive or not.

  42. Anyone ever notice that not-so-attractive folks often have E-Handles that indicate they are really physically attractive?

    Like… DimePiece100 or SuperFine25

    I always find that interesting…

    1. "Superfine25" I can't! LMAO

      This entire post…the more I think about it…is just AWFUL! Talking about "ugly" people! I can't!!!! Especially when I read "and they know they're ugly"… LMAO I JUST CAN'T!

      It just feels wrong!

  43. So… this post even though aimed at the male species has really got me thinking. How attractive am I really? I always thought I was cute… not Halle Berry fine… not Omarosa harsh… more like Malinda Williams cute. However, as I'm reading the commenters posts talking about women overcompensating others for their looks, I wonder if I could be one. Apparently one can't be fine, have a great personality, good job, money in the bank, bedroom skills AND be single. Sooo it's my thoughts that it means I'm lacking somewhere… lol. I'm all about self-evaluation and progression so I'm trying to figure out what it is. There are a few things I know for sure:

    1. I'm single

    2. I been single for a while.

    3. My job = banging

    4. My credit = banging

    5. Personality = Bubbly/Funny 🙂

    6. I'm smart. Ask my MBA professors.

    That means there are two variables that are up for grabs… the thronx sessions & my facial region. OMG. I might be a buttaface.

    *help me LAWD!!*

      1. *deep breath* yup. I do. I've actually been wanting to know for a while. I mean of course my parents think I'm cute they have to. #StreetzMamaSwindle But I've been out and about on good nights when I just KNOW i'm a 12 on a 10-scale and don't get the reaction I want. I chalked it up to dudes being hesitant to approach (I've been told I should smile more) but it could be a reason I just didn't even think of…

        1. I wanna speak partially to what you said about being somewhere and you a 12 on a 10 scale. I feel you on that…but even the best hitters in baseball dont bat 10 for 10…the best they can do is .350 "ish" or so…every nite aint gonna be your nite…and truth be told…and Im sure many brothers will "go against" what Im about to say, but everyone do what they do how they do it…if you somewhere feelin yaself and you think you wanna talk to me..better #sendupaflare, cause I cant read minds and unless you show me some kinda something that says "maybe it'd be okay if we talked" per se, it may not happen. whether you want to call it a fear of rejection or just being shy, who knows…but sometimes u just gotta give a brother a look…we know what to do after that. thats when we go into cruise control. u may very well be as bad as you say…I dont doubt it…but some cats like to keep things low key and discreet…for lack of better word.

          i RARELY approach women in clubs or bars for this reason. during my first year in the Navy, on deployment, Im in a club in Hawaii. see a friend approach a chick. chick dont really wanna holla at him, but she being cool. light brush off. homeboy think he hot ish, get mad, kinda pull at her arm. chick gets ANGRY. mean faces come from both sides, dude walks away. girl is hotter than fish grease. NEW GUY walks up…not knowing what happened. GETS SWATTED DOWN SO QUICK, UGLY, and FAST…wasnt even funny. Im thinking to myself "that boi had no idea he had zero chance, cause of the last guy". that traumatized me…lol

          send ya flare.

        2. Bwhahahaha… I appreciate the breakdown. I don't think I'm a 12 everytime I go out. As a matter of a fact, I know I was 7.5 last week. LOL. That could be the issue… maybe I'm not sending up the right flares. I thought I was giving the appropriate looks and whatnot but I know there is a previous post on SBM about the signals that men can't/don't get.

          There were a few times when I wanted to approach a guy but I was in college and I had a friend who was cute, probably a solid 7, an 8 on good days… she approached this guy (we were at a gym or something) and I remember the odd look he gave her. They chit chatted for very few before she walked away. He came over to me, and asked 'is that your friend?' I said yea and he indicated that had she not been so 'bold' he probably would've given his number. He said bold/brazen females turn him off & that ish stuck w/ me. See… we both have stories.

        3. Smile and say "Hi"! Guys sometimes feel women are unapproachable if women look TOO put together, so break the ice.

    1. And, you have an E-Handle that indicates some level of physical attractiveness… Uh Oh….

      Lol… j/k SoFlyy

      Can't really see you in your Avatar, but – from what can be discerned, you're good.


      1. LMAO. I thought about the SoFlyy after I read your post.

        Thanks for the vote of confidence TMIMITW. It is appreciated. Through the process of elimination… I guess that means I know what to fix. LOL.

        The drought is real. #Weezy

    2. @SoFlyy
      The first thing I want to know is, who do you want to find you attractive?
      What category of male does he fall into?
      What number on the attractiveness scale would you assign him?
      Is the rest of the female population in agreement with your assessment of his attractiveness?
      What do the women he surrounds himself with look like? More specifically, do you honestly think you are more attractive than they are?
      If so, are you willing to compete? Some men find that attractive.

      I'm not sure about other men, but knowing that I am an average looking male, I go through that analysis when I encounter a woman I'm attracted to. Its almost become second nature.

      1. Wow. That's a lot of process everytime you look at a female.

        1. Who… no one in particular, lets call him a random 8.5 out and about.

        2./3. probably a 7.5 – 9, clean cut… always. & probably a little bit nerdy… lol. Don't judge me. (does that answer the category question?)

        4. I think so… my chicks and I have fairly similar scale ratings.

        5. Most of the time, cute… maybe solid 8s.

        6. More attractive… eh, most likely the same.

        7. Compete? Ugh. After I know something about him… possibly yes. Off top? Begrudigly but probably not.

  44. It is a lot, but its second nature. If you really thought about your decision making when it comes to allowing a guy to talk to you and then possibly giving him your number, it would be a longer list. The brain is a wondrous thing.

    Well then based on what you've written and from your small photo I would say you're an 8. This makes an 8.5 male well within your reach. I'm of the belief that once you start going past the 7-8 range personal preference starts to come into play. The 7-8 range is something most men and women in a room can reach consensus on. Its 9-10 that becomes difficult.

    For instance, I have male friends that believe Halle Berry is the most beautiful woman in the world, thus earning her a 10. I have never agreed with that but I respect there opinions. Since I was 10 years old I have rated Queen Latifah a 9. No one can change my opinion on that. No one.

    1. you say its 2nd nature and I respect ya gangsta on how you feel…after all, they are YOUR feelings.in no way am I attacking you on the matter. But Im glad we get to have these discussions, because of the way they fan out into other discussions. Do I think Im the hottest dude in the streets? not at all. But more importantly…do I care? no…I dont. you got two choices in this life with mostly everything that you do…"get down or lay down". with that being said…because of that…I just do me. another man will always be longer, have a deeper pocket, more "whatever"…so worrying about whats "around" u I figure to be kinda a waste of energy. women have sliding scales just like men do…we just aint as quick to pull ours out. but when it all boils down, it matters how and what two people think. you. and her. since I call myself having a "no compete clause"…I just carve out my own lane, and let the rest fall where it may.

  45. I have to agree with TMIMITW on that 1…sexy92, 5starchick69, Beautiful Tee, etc. The most unattractive people tend to give themselves names (on social networking sites, bbm, etc) that are the complete opposite of what they are (oh word, THAT'S what beautiful looks like?! LOL). Its so annoying to me BUT I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If no one thinks you're cute at least YOU think you're cute (I guess…)

  46. i won't even deny….i have dated some 'not too handsome' men cuz i knew they were gonna stay and do as i please…..lol…(covers face in shame)

  47. @RCTuri: Smile and say “Hi”! Guys sometimes feel women are unapproachable if women look TOO put together, so break the ice.

    I Beg the Differ…

    I don't think that's why they don't approach, yeah we like to think because we intimidate them but it's a #egoswindle.

    It's just that the whole "excuse me, what's yo name" (pharrell/jay-z) game has changed because if a chick was to walk up in a club/bar/lounge looking THROUGH pluuuzzeeee she will be the chick dudes MAY be trying to holla at during "last call" and brothas who got their *ish* together and who is on their swag they ain't even trying to holla first NOWADAYSthey just laying in the cut and waiting for that bold chick to give him play because he knows

  48. @TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld

    Thank You Brother… At some point in my development… I will be employing this…

    It seems to us as a superficial society, that we equate looks = dating success… And what happens here is that ALOT people buy into their judgment, instead of challenging it, it becomes a self-fulfilled prophecy…

    I wanna focus more on the women side cause 

    1. I love them…

    2. I know what it takes to attract women… But I haven't figured out the other side of the coin (CLUE: because I'm not attracted to males)

    I know this is hackneyed, but

    "Society pays WAY too much attention on looks & external things"

    Now, it has been out for sometime that if you want to attract a woman… You go with superficial (money, cars, swag)

    & If you want to keep a woman , you come with substance relationship skills, IMHO your sex game has to be Fan-Tastic… & she is putty in your hands…

    As widespread as this information as been out… It feels like only 10% of the male population knows this about female…

    And the other 90% are clueless… I hypothesize that some men refuse to get the game… Cause there are so many women to choose from… So no need…

    So I wonder how many females truly understand on an intellectual (not just instinctual) level on what it takes to attract & keep a male… And if you knew the secrets, could you articulate to another female & have her getting dates & marriage proposals left & right…

    Cause I believe, there is part to male attraction, that is BEYOND looks, BEYOND good relation skills, BEYOND sex (although these things are good to cultivate…) IT IS AN "X" Factor, that answers why lesser attractive women get the guy over the more attractive woman… Who seemed to have everything going for her…

    The only books I know that go alittle into Male Attraction is

    The Rules By Ellen Fein

    Why Men Love Bitches By Sherry Argov

    Also when I think of lesser attractive women I think of one story I heard from a guy who was really successful with women… He said he knew a guy somewhere in the world, that the only way that you can get into his bed is if you were a fat woman… I'm not talking about your typical fat woman, I'm talking the 400LBS type woman that most men couldn't get hard for if they were on Viagra, but that is ALL that he would sleep… Beautiful women would approach him, only to be turned down…

    Add on to that that I have seen Endless Maury Shows where the woman in my opinion was hideous, but managed to fanagle a paternity test from an average guy… I know she was probably a h*e, but she was on to something…

    Add on to the fact that their are couples around the world where the lady doesn't look too shabby but she is married, & the husband worships her in every facet of her existence…


    There is a TOP for every POT

    She may not be dazzling, but she is doing sumthin' right…

    P.S. I think if a woman wants to learn how to efficiently & effectively attract men… She has three options

    Read books on the subject, and separate the GOLD from the BS

    Ask men who are intelligent & articulate their attraction toasted women…

    Ask well seasoned women who are NOT seeing you as their competition, who are confident in their own skin to let you know how she was able to get so many dates & so many marriage proposals…

    Did I miss anything…?

  49. This is off topic but worth minute of your time

    When KeepN It Real Goes Wrong: Fool dances in the street, gets hit by ice cream truck. Hard. http://youtu.be/-ZN9_CVAfLY

    I try to stick up for my intellectually challenged black men… But they keep failing me LOL…


  50. The reality is men are physical creatures and there has to be something attractive about the woman (whether it be her face or body) in order for him to date her. Men look for approval from other men.

    On the flipside, more and more women are doing the same thing.

    Nobody wants what nobody else wants.

    Sad to say, but that's just the way it is.

  51. @Kayenne luv u babe… I think some of these men have to EVOLVE… I love the beautiful woman… But I loathe the women who literally relies on their beauty, esp. When there are beautiful women for MILES in almost every jurisdiction of the planet (competition)… And I loathe the enabling man who allows these women to act up because they are pretty…

    I said this before… LOVE is overrated… Relationship is underrated…

    Having roles in your relationship is underrated…

    I need a girl who give peace of mind, total slut (created by me, not someone else), supports me in every way… And enjoy the ride from start to finish…

    Eventually I want them to dazzling in the looks dept. But relationship/sex skills are a MUST…

  52. That is my initial time I have visited here. I located a lot of fascinating data in your web site. From the amount of feedback on your posts, I guess I am not the only one particular! keep up the spectacular operate.

  53. I have always considered myself to be an unattractive man because my looks are not up to it…

    I guess I have to change how I feel, see and think about myself from now on.


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