Home Guest Post Post Sex Etiquette

Post Sex Etiquette


*****Admin Note****
So today, as Slim aka the “Sandals wearin Bruhz” continues to search the meaning of life through internetial interaction (yes I just made that up), we are blessed to have my current ex gf whom I call for an occasional roll-in-the-hay in my mind, Miss Jenkins from the award-winning threewaystotakeit.com
! Enjoy.

One Love. Boomer.
– Streetz

I don’t know if he knows it, but Streetz was the inspiration behind this post. I’ll just leave it at that. On with it.

Have you seen the lighter?

Since we are all adults here, it is safe to assume we know sex doesn’t always go down (||) in the confines of a boyfriend-girlfriend (or some other combination of genders) relationship. Lots of sex, maybe even most of it, happens between two people who just want to bump uglies and see each other’s O-face. Maybe you know him well. Maybe you just wanna make love after meeting her in the club. Who knows. We all know that sex has some type of start, some hopefully good pumps in the middle (see what I did there?), and an end. After all is said and done, what happens next?

It’s Clean Up Time

This is always an interesting time. He…eh hem…finishes before she arrives and now something needs to be done with the kids who got caught in the hat trap or took up residence on some part of her body. No matter how cool a guy is, this process is always a bit awkward to watch. **turns away** How long does she lay there? Does he stand up and turn his back to her? Should he leave the room? Who goes to the bathroom first? Should you turn the lights on or keep them off whilst you find your draws? Do you get dressed because you are now embarrassed to see each other’s post-sex goodies, or do you stay nekked? Wait, where the hell are the covers? Should one have a pre-moistened towel on hand? There’s no one right way.

See Also:  Thursday Feature: It's Still Tricking If You Got It

Pillow Talk

Even if one of you is making the late-night creep back to your car or your boo, do you guys talk about what just happened?

Him: That was fun.

Her: **bitter that she didn’t get hers** Yeah…

Do you just turn over and pretend to fall sleep? Hopefully, you both were put to bed. If not, maybe you talk about preseason football? Praise her for that thing she did or the way he shut it down? Or maybe it was one of those “Let me just lay here and look at the ceiling because I can’t believe that just happened” moments. Don’t act like you haven’t had nights when “that” meant something good, something terrible, or maybe even something pretty pointless. Le sigh.

The Next Day

This is where things can get tricky for men and women. Women may wonder how soon is too soon to send him a text, BBM or IM. “I don’t wanna seem like I’m thirsty.” A man on the other hand may not want her to think he’s feeling her “like that,” but may not want to look like an a-hole either. Both of you may play the I-don’t-want-to-be-the-first-to-reach-out game. Unless you did the do with your boo. But what do you even say? Whatever you say, you always try to find the balance between saying too much and not enough. Either one may set off the wrong reaction in him or her. Stage 5 clingers or Keith Sweats can be born on this day. No bueno.

See Also:  Jesus Is My Homeboy, But I Hate His House

Like I said, we are all adults. Most of us pride ourselves on “not playing games.” But the truth is, there is some game element to the post coital dynamics between folks. At any point, depending on your level of comfort with the person, we may be worried about saving face, protecting our pride, preserving some reputation within our minds and in the minds of others, and possibly not burning a cutty-buddy bridge.

What are some of your dos or don’ts of post thronxing fun? Have you ever done something that you wish you didn’t? Did you see him or her do something that turned you off…or maybe got the juices flowing again (pun intended)? Has someone done something that caught you off guard (in a good or bad way)? Or is this something you’ve never really thought about before? Either way, share your piece with me. Pawse.

Charm school educated,

Twitter: @sowhatiff



  1. I'm generally quiet…i like to lay there and catch my breath (or think of how much of a waste it was, depending on the experience) afterward.

    I really don't have much to say (pun not intended) but good post!

    1. "I’m generally quiet…i like to lay there and catch my breath (or think of how much of a waste it was, depending on the experience) afterward."

      yep great time to contemplate life intricacies.

  2. This was a great post!!!

    I think it is almost always awkward when at the end of doing the mattress mambo and you're just laying there trying to catch your breath and at the same time wanting to clean yourself up… its like… should I get up now or is he getting the warm wet towel?

    Other than that, the next awkward thing would be if it goes all bad and and you can't wait for them to be gone… lol

  3. All well, ends well…then we're good, if it ended bad, I pull a Hussain Bolt. I travel with babywipes and cottenelle wipes on a daily basis for basic sanitary reasons, so cleanup options are always on deck. Great Post!

    1. Back when I was running around – I hated trying to clean up with Wet Wipes… a dude needs something dry first – then the wet wipes. Have you ever spilled Kool Aid in your kitchen and then tried to clean it up with a saturated sponge? Doesn't work very well does it?

  4. Most women don't want to move right away. So after sex a good 10 to 15 minutes of meditation is a must. You will find this is your best opportunity to contemplate the mysteries of life. And for guys, after you let that first one go, you will for the first time be able to obectively assess this women you've selected to be intimate with.

    Now who's ever house it is, is responsible for getting two warm wet wash clothes. Guys don't mind be helped with the cleaning (Wipe me down!. It's the adult version of changing a baby's diaper.) 🙂 Women don't need or want help. Also please bring a towel for the sheets if neccessary.

    1. "crevices of my mind…and I got nothing"

      that is the problem….. wrong crevices.

      You need to squat to make sure you get UP in there and make sure you aint dealing with any lost kids.

  5. Good, Bad or In Between. . .As a Gentleman, FIRST hold her (for however long she Is comfortable . . This could be seconds to several minutes or even longer) . .At the beginning of the hug say THANK YOU . . . When you sense hug time is up. . . Ask 'Would you excuse me while I get The WARM TOWEL?' ALWAYS ASK TO GET THE WARM TOWEL! . . Take your cues from there! (She may say no not yet/or yes/ or . . is it time for round two/ or on I'll get it (who knows?). . These actions are thoughtful, considerate, non judgmental and naturally lead to neutral, mutually agreeable, exit timing conversations! . . . But by all means don't ask any STUPID BIG DADDY QUESTIONS! The experience may or may not have been what was expected BUT we can always be courteous. This keeps drama to the minimum! Respect!

    1. "Ask ‘Would you excuse me while I get The WARM TOWEL?’ ALWAYS ASK TO GET THE WARM TOWEL! . . Take your cues from there! (She may say no not yet/or yes/ or . . is it time for round two/ or on I’ll get it (who knows?). . These actions are thoughtful, considerate, non judgmental and naturally lead to neutral, mutually agreeable"

      THIS! ((((((APPLAUSE)))))

      Last time I had relations there was no towel needing invovled…wait, that is not a good thing. Excuse me ya'll… I think I have a text to send, I have some questions to ask.

    2. I like Jay he is grown and sexy!

      It often depends on whom I am with for the (post cuddling) the guy always offers or I request a warm wash cloth… but hell we ain't finished so it gets tossed to the side, we take a breather and back at it again…. *BOOM*

      Although that one in January was a major #EPICFAIL and he ended up stayin' until the morning…. he didn't leave o_O it was the worst ever! He still calls/texts askin' for a repeat… nah we good! o_O I think he is in denial that he came in like two seconds and wasn't all that… a good kisser does not a good sex partner make… That is all.

    3. Lawd. Asking "how was it" or any related questions is a no-no. If it was good, she'll let you know. But if it wasn't, then she'll hurt your feelings, lie, or get quiet and excuse herself. Then you're left laying the wet (or dry) spot looking sad. No bueno. Save yourself.

    4. I generally don't do any cuddling right after cause i'm all hot & sweaty & I hate being extra hot…but like afterward, in the pillow talk phase (after you've cooled off and what not), it is quite nice.

  6. good post. miss jenkins.

    first question if i'm or she's staying over is who's sleeping in the wet spot? and what if the wet spot is right in the middle of the bed?

    What are some of your dos or don’ts of post thronxing fun?

    – i don't mind losing ground and being the first to call afterward. i mean if it was really that good to me then i don't see the point in trying to save face. for what?

    -getting a washcloth. depends on how well she put it on me i might be laying in post-coital bliss. otherwise if i'm able i don't mind getting up and getting a warm washcloth. i don't mind wiping her down either. *shrug*

    -pillow talk? what's that?

    Have you ever done something that you wish you didn’t?

    -haven't we all? smh the things i wish i could take back.

  7. Funny post…depends on how messy it got. I used to keep a roll of toilet paper by the bed and also a box of Scott moist wipes. Never failed. But if she's wifey ya'll can just hop in the shower together after.

  8. I have only two post-thronx rules:

    1. No sleepovers!

    2. If you wash your nuts in my sink I will kill you.

    (This is why the warm wet towel + dry towel is a must)

  9. All this talk about Clean up time after a hot thronxing session is cool…. But am I the only one who actually feels or willing to admit that sometimes it's just cool to lay there STUCK together in the middle of the WET SPOT canoodling….. *shrugs


        1. Yeah I gotta go wit a towel or change the sheets on the spot. Sleepin in body fluids……not a good look…..not a good night's sleep 🙂

        2. Okay, yes SPOT does get cold but there are times when the body is in an alcohol induced/Super Oooooo coma kinda state so I let it ride…….

    1. I am not sleeping in my own nut.

      And eff Jay with all his post ex hug. What kinda or world do we live in when I am intentially touches his own nut.

      Number one rule on nut.. once it touches something else, it becomes disgusting.

      If my nut goes st8 to your mouth = hot.

      If my nut hits the pillow = gross (but cool to see how far it flies).

      My nut touching your sweaty skin = hot

      Me touching said nut that is on your skin = cockcold.

        1. yes….

          out of me. As a gift for you. Sea men was not meant to be touched by men.

          Be serious, if you saw some guy wallowing in his own ejaculant wouldn't you give him the side eye??

        2. I think wallowing and just touching is a whole different story…wallowing, i would think it is wierd (though i wouldn't knock him because to each, their own) but touching it, i don't think its something that is disgusting!

          sea men are touched by men, either gay men or men in gay p*rn (who claim they are straight but do gay porn cause it seems to pay more).

          LOL @ it being a gift!

  10. My friends joke that I'm the man in chex but my rules are this…

    If we're both done- get up, clean yourself off and get gone. I'm already in the shower.

    If only one is done- finish the job orally and then refer back to #1.

    If we're friends- ill talk to you when I see you. If not- wait for my next text

  11. Ladies after a guy blows a load one of the best things you can do is kiss/suck his cannon. Whether you thought it was good or bad, he'll feel like King James and won't ask how his performance was… awkwardness avoided..

    Helping you clean up? I usually try not to touch a woman's face..

    The next day contact: Who breaks the ice? I think to be safe the man should always communicate via some source within 18hrs of the act, just to be courteous. If ya'll are cool/dating and she hasn't contacted you by then, chances are it wasn't really good and she just doesn't know what to say.. but at least you'll still be a gentleman in her eyes, regardless of the sexual incapabilities..

    If ya'll just met and she hasn't contacted it could mean it was great and she's trying not to be 'thirsty' or it could mean that it was basura and last night never happened.. either way..at least you'll still be a gentleman in her eyes..

    p.s. ya'll chicks on here actin like you really kick dudes out after the pummeling make me laugh. HA!

    1. "Ladies after a guy blows a load one of the best things you can do is kiss/suck his cannon. Whether you thought it was good or bad, he’ll feel like King James and won’t ask how his performance was… awkwardness avoided..

      awkwardness avoided.. Oh who's part… Mine or His…


  12. I'll just describe the only 2 situations that could possibly go down. [Double bar]

    Good romping

    – Fetal position and maybe some mild and very gentle phallus thumb sucking because that ALWAYS gets the juices flowing

    – Cuddling, depending on the mood

    – Making him watch The Nail Doing Show starring Penelope with a possible appearance of his Pepe as my co-star. Day 26.

    – Sandwich time!! *touches nose* I'm it 🙂

    – Round 17? (minus 14 or 13)

    – Speaking tongues

    – I don't have to ask how it was or even send a follow up text. All I gotta see is his face and wait for the "Let's do it again" text.

    Bad romping

    – Dressed in 0.005 seconds flat, didn't even give time for the rubber to be pulled off and disposed of and ready to be dropped at home so I can watch The Nail Show w/ Penelope all by myself.

    – Silent treatment followed by telling you that you failed the mission of the night.

  13. Sukez: Silent treatment followed by telling you that you failed the mission of the night.

    Wowww, Ms. Sukez U izzz Gangsta!!!! I don't have the heart to gut punch that azz after a FAIL tryst, I let my krazy side-eye and Fo real ninja look do the talkin for me.


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get SBM Delivered

Get SBM Delivered

Single Black Male provides dating and relationship
advice for today's single looking for love

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This