"Eff This. I ain't paying!"
Life is not fair.
I mean, bad things happen to good people. George W got elected to office twice. Katrina went ahead and f*’d up all kinds of folks for now good reason. Tsunami’s, war’s in Africa, and children without hands for blood diamonds. If you think about it … the world is kind of a f*cked up place.
But even with all that going on, you still gotta worry about you. Because with all this going on, you are gonna get affected negatively by all that BS out there in the world.
Every woman I have ever talked to about it has had the following happen to her. No matter if she is Michelle Obama, at some point in the past she went through the same bewildering experience:
1. Girl Meets Guy
2. Girl and guy converse. Guy likes Girl. Girl likes Guy.
3. Guy Holla’s at girl (“Lemme get you’re number shorty”)
4. Girl responds favorably. Digits are transferred.
5. Guy calls girl, several times. Good times are had by all.
6. Girl gets excited. Tells friends “I’m really excited about this one. I really like him, and things are going great. THANK GOD!”
7. Guy never calls again without any explanation.
8. Girl resumes to randomly smashing the dude round the corner cause “she got needs”.
Yes, every woman knows the bite of having a seemingly good thing end abruptly with no explanation.
Now, there is a very good chance there is a really good reason. Maybe he found himself simply not interested and didn’t know how to tell you. Maybe he felt you didn’t deserve an explanation after 3 calls. Maybe you just legitimately are undateable.
But, there is a good chance the universe was against you. Maybe it was Kharma, or maybe you were just unlucky. I am here to give you a taste of the million of “unfair” reasons that he just stopped calling you.
You’re name reminded him of an ex
How did your mama know that naming you Shannon would have you associated with the b*tch that slept with his best friend, emptied his bank account, and told all her girls that he had a small d*ck?
The girl down the hall gave him some super duper one night stand p***y that he just can’t think straight
She got 4 kids, 3 baby’s daddy, and 2 of them are incarcerated. She is a welfare queen that wouldn’t fit in at his Law firm’s office parties. She is no good to anyone as a wife, girlfriend, or monogamous lover … but damn does she know how to ride a d*ck! He knows he’s being stupid, but that little “I’m bored” sex that she gave him has him thinking about proposing and left no time for you.
He couldn’t afford the cell phone bill
Hey, it’s a recession. It’s not that his money is really messed up, but his trip to Italy last month ended up with ridiculous roaming charges and until he can get them off his account, no calls going in and none coming out. And there is a good chance he’ll just forget about you afterward … yeah … tough break.
His boy thought he smashed you/saw you working at the strip club/working the block
“Son … Nicole. As in Nikki. As in Freaky Nikki! Aw man, I never thought any girl back in school would really have let the whole team run through at one party. I bet that thang whistled when the wind blew after we got done!” Too bad Nikki is a common ass name …
You got the three calls … too bad your signal sucks in your new apartment
I had a friend with a strict 3 call rule. He would call you three times without response in the “courting” phase before he refused to call again. If she missed the calls because her phone didn’t get signal … that wasn’t his problem. And he wasn’t leaving a message!
He … eh … didn’t feel like it
I can speak on this since I did it all the time. I liked her, I wanted to talk to her, but … eh … I’m lazy. Unfair to you … but eh … there kids in Africa starving so I’m not gonna lose sleep over it.
Add to the list. What are some of the unfair reasons that a man can suddenly disappear? You say some of these are justified … how so?
SBM aka “She got one more call” aka “I would call … but I just got Madden last night”
Well damn. That's some funny sh!t right there!
Hmm, here's a possible reason or 5. I dunno if guys actually have used it though *angel face*
– Being so "busy", he forgot. Things come up, he's meeting all these new people. And in the haste of things with all the new numbers in his phone, "Brenda" started to blend in with the Betty's, Becky's, Bonnie's, Britney's and other B's in there and soon it got swallowed in. [giggity] So it's like a "Oh sh!t. Brenda?! I almost forgot about you!"
-He wants to be left alone [like a little b!tch lol jk], needs some solo-dolo ME time, selfish bastiid. Like looking in the mirror every morning isn't enough ( I know some guys who can't get ENOUGH of their reflection btw… #mildshots)
– His game/show is usually on when he's free to talk
*shakes fist* and the show deserves his undivided attention
– He needs BOTH hands to eat. Ambidextrous bastiid. So the option to hold the phone Shoulder2Ear is NOT an option.
OH and from that ^^, talking on the phone hurts his neck. (not like he needs it… unless he's sus-worthy)
– Masturbating. Yeah I said it.
I preface this by saying, don't get mad at me…
All of your reason except your last NC-17 one, are valid reasons for a guy not calling… if you notice, you are basically saying that he should change up his life and routine for you. If he didn't have the swag and discipline that he has, you wouldn't have been attracted to him.
Eating?! Be serious, i'm not talking to you while I eat, sit down and be quiet.
Watching the game?! A lot of men's girlfriends don't get that treatment, be easy…
Being left alone?! Again, everyone appreaciates their alone time, I need mine, i'm around people all the time.
Busy?! If a man wasn't busy, he'd be all up under you. Women get mad when they are told "i'm busy" and then mad when the guy ain't got nothing going for himself.
These four reasons… I know to just stay away because it's likely that you're trying to change my life. Look man… a man will start to change his ways once he sees something worth changing his ways for. I seen plenty men go from being at the bar every Sunday to staying at home with their girlfriend to watch Snuday football, because they see something worth changing…
Lol *kicks Dr. J's soapbox* hey! SBM said "unfair". I'm just saying. And change him? O_o boy shut up lol no one wants to change ya ass. "remember when I kept asking you to spend time with me, spend time with me, some time with me, spend some quality fxckin time with me?!"
Bye. 😛 (you're forgiven lol)
I'm glad Dr. J beat me to the punch by defending the validity of these reasons. They aren't unfair.
Stop being salty …
Stop being salty …(
Lawry's.
(-_-*) now I said possible reasons lol sheesh
"She is no good to anyone as a wife, girlfriend, or monogamous lover … but damn does she know how to ride a d*ck!"
That joint got me laughing hard cuzz that is probably the reason many of these so called stars mess around with hood girls…their p*ssy game is tight.
How about the following:
He has smashed and is now bored like Clinton was with Hilary (I personally think Lewinsky saved their marriage).
His mom told him girls with your name come with trouble.
He lost a couple of brain cells talking to you and don't wanna risk sounding like Soulja Boy or Gucci Mane if y'all continue.
He thinks he did get a better value for his minutes calling a 1 900 number (nope, I've never done it).
Your voice has an adverse effect on his man.
He is afraid of getting ear cancer.
I'm gonna say half of these don't count as "unfair". Sure, if he's afraid of ear cancer he shouldn't have a phone in the first place … but if he smashed and is now bored … that's not unfair … that's life.
but if he smashed and is now bored … that’s not unfair … that’s life.
#quoteoftheday
OR maybe he was from Toronto !
(good morning !)
You stole my reason!
Uh do the reasons really matter? The bottom line is that he's not checking for her. I don't know why women want reasons. I blame Cosmo and Essence for making women think a man owes it to us to tell us the why's when the bottom line remains the same–he didn't call.
When women get caught up in the reasons, they start to think they can change the tide. Then they end up doing the pursuing. Ladies, let's not play ourselves over men who don't think enough of us to call. BTW–Calling and texting and FB-ing and Tweeting aren't equal but if he does none of it, don't worry about why.
Ms. Smart came correct here. That last paragraph should be, like, gospel to single females…
Ooooh! Face!
Ms. Smart, exactly. Bottom line if he's REALLY THAT interested, there wouldn't be ANY excuses.
doubly co-signing.
no need to check for someone who has clearly proved himself unworthy of your time.
we might have to slow this one down a little bit from becoming part of SBM church doctrine.
I don't think its right to assume that he is not checking for her. That is an assumption and just as bad as assuming that issues can be changed.
Everything that happends in a nuccas life is not a reflection on you or his interest level in you. That is a self-centered way perspective to have on prospects. Somebody needs to do a post on why women are so damn self centered. Insecure bastards.
Thanks Cheekz.
Anytime this comes up it always turns into "He's just not that into you and any guy would stab his mama in the heart if he really liked you"
Makes me feel like I'm in the twilight zone or something.
RE: He's just not that into you…
Eh. Women are to the point where we don't take disinterest personally. Just because a man doesn't call it doesn't make us all feel like we did something wrong or are less worthy of his attentions. Additionally, it doesn't mean the man is an a-hole or anything. There just wasn't mutual interest. It's like, "Eh, oh well. On to the next." This line of thinking coming from women doesn't really play into the game though. We're expected to pine away and self-inspect at the slightest sign of rejection. But the Kanye shrug is all that really needed.
Also, it could be that when she acknowledges that he doesn't want her, she's basically saying she's not waiting for a man to validate her worth by calling?
@Ms. Smart
I hate to tell you … but not every woman has reached that level of personal understanding yet. There are still A LOT out there looking at the cell and wondering "what did I do wrong".
This post was for them …
I know but there are a lot who are moving in that direction.
"Somebody needs to do a post on why women are so damn self centered. Insecure bastards."
I really was feelin your comment… until this BS. You lucky I loves you, CHeeKZy.
sorry for the cunt punt booboo.
He has not called. He has not reached out. Show me a man who wants something, I mean really sincerely wants it (which is different than just accepting it if it's offered) and doesn't go after it. I knew a dude who wanted a fancy truck, didn't have the money and robbed a grocery store. See, he wanted the truck and did what he thought was the quickest thing to get the money to get the truck. In the case of dating, going after it is making an effort at communication. It's really not that hard. Women are STUPID to sit around harping on why a man didn't call. It's a waste of time. The only way we MAY know if it he tells us and even then, there's still a chance it's not the whole truth. So why bother?
Somebody needs to do a post on why women are so damn self centered. Insecure bastards.
*gasps & clutches pearls*
#DEAD….
lmao
This isn't at all about being self-centered. It's about the fact that where MUTUAL interest isn't established and communicated, why bother trying to figure out why? Let it ride. If being called is important to you (not you per se), then go find yourself someone who calls instead of worrying about why some don't.
He's just not that into you. That's the only reason there is.
No matter what cloak he wraps it up in, if he's not reaching out he's not feeling you enough. Simple as that.
This isn't 100% true.
For example in the mistaken identity case, he could have really liked you, but the though of his boy Marcas skeeting on you're face filled him with a sense of disgust that he just couldn't overcome.
See … ?
Nope. As you said in your example…Nikki is a common name. Why not seek clarity by asking the chicks last name…or if she has a mole on the right side of face near her eyebrow?
LOL but if he was really feeling her he would overcome it. Men overcome their wifey's ho-tastic pasts all the time if they're motivated enough
We are talking more about a ho-tastic past. We are literally talking about the fact that ANYTIME this guy gets into an argument with his friend, he can just say "and that's why I skeeted on your girlfriend's face" … and you know a guy pretty much has to STFU and take it after that.
Who wants to give their friend that kinda power?!
Okay. That's fair enough. Although I do maintain that if a dude is sufficiently <del>p*ssy-whipped</del> smitten he will get with the girl anyway.
Not that I necessarily recommend it, but I've seen it happen.
125.
Damn Most. I'm impressed!
It's only mistaken identity because the guy didn't bother to communicate or check out the information further. With a cell phone, you could easily snap a photo…show it to your homeboy and he could confirm or not that's the same chick.
But that's a lot of work so I can see you moving on to the next chick without validating his comments. LOL
Is there a to casually take someone's picture for later verification? I must say … sounds like doing too much.
I think the number one reason is the fact that he's just not that into you.
It's been from my experience, if a man is interested, he will call, text, skype; basically, contact you by any means necessary so that you know he's interested.
With all the forms of communication now available, if a guy isn't using either one of those modes, I wouldn't be wasting my time–hoping or wishing upon a star that he's interested.
He's a Gemini
Haha. This reason makes me chuckle lol
I'll raise your Gemini for a Leo
*shudders*
Ladies, ladies, let's not make this about signs, alright? But if we are on that topic, can I throw some Aries in there too? 🙂 *angel face*
LOL!!! Aries it is :p
What about the Scorpios or Leos? LOL
no no no noooooooo Leo's are AWESOME! *hehehehehe*
*side eye*
lol
haaaaaaa!
Aint' nothin wrong with being a leo..
but I don't believe in signs, so as you were..
I swear nobody on this site even knows a Pisces.
I know 1…well 2 but I don't talk to him anymore
I'm a Pisces…
I'm surrounded by them…*lawwwd* smh
Im surrounded by Leos
awwwwwwwww…what's wrong with them? I looooove Leo's! No I'm not one…lmao
They tend to be extremely selfish and emotionally unavailable,lol
And I say this w/ love as my mother and my brother are Leos
Slim… I mean Big Meech, it's nice to see a fellow Pisces here. With all the talk about signs on here and twittah, I never hear anything about Pisces. I'm still not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing though.
Pisces are moody as all get out…smh.
lol
Ex was a Pisces…yeah, EX… LOL, actually, he was cool. It just didn't work out for other reasons…
@Seven, you better shush with all that nonsense. The Pisces YOU know are moody as all hell.
lmao!!!! aahhhhhhhh I was waiting for that. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I know too many of them….there the only ones I seem to attract. *bbm eyeroll*
I must admit, when I was a single chap, I always had 3 or 4 month relationships with sudden, quick endings. All of my relationships would last between 1 and 4 months and those months would be amazing. Long, deep conversations – all sorts of fun dates, great love-making and a couple times – traveling together. But, after about 3 or 4 months, I'd just stop calling and stop answering… abruptly. Looking back, I realize, it was because I was addicted to the perfection of that first 3 months and incapable of accepting the fact that this woman would eventually show that she was (as we all are) imperfect.
My inability to deal with imperfection would cause me to subconsciously lose interest in her at the first sight of something unpleasing. My passive aggressive way of ending the relationship without hurting feelings, having an awkward conversation where I tried to explain something that I, at the time, did not fully understand was to just stop calling. It's better for everybody this way. We're left with what was a perfect relationship, nobody's heart was broken – we got to know just enough of each other to know that the other person was beautiful. So, before all those annoying things that come up that can strip away the beauty of two people learning each other – things like distance, life circumstance, money, cultural differences, age, love… etc, it's better if we just stop here. All of those relationships were perfect, perfect in their incompletion. I know those women didn't understand, and maybe still don't – but, I know it was for the best.
The first time I found myself not losing interest in a woman at the sight of imperfection… I married her.
WOW!!!!
:') that ending justified your
a$$holeold bad habits lolPretty much 🙂
Thank you Max. But after a while, I think the wondering wears off… After a long while lol
@Sukez and Labakir – How was I an a**hole though?
Also – I guessed your sizes yesterday – 109 for sukez and 119 for LaBakir – give or take 7 lbs for each…
Kidding, Most. And you're about hmm more than 30 off. *sukishrug* sheesh. FB should have helped.
B/C you just stopped calling! That is asshole-ish…I've done it! Knowing full well that that was slightly foul of me.
And ummm…yeah…your wrong 🙂 But it's nice to know I look that slim,lol
LaB, word! Nice to know we look that slim BUT 109 is not slim on me. It's deathly and starving. More like I need a burger or 15.
But what was the alternative to continuing to call when I know I'm losing interest? All that does is string you along further, make your feelings get deeper so that when we break up, as we inevitably will – you'll actually be heartbroken. Instead, we can both just have this great memory.
@Sukez…At 5"8, 119lbs would not be a good look for me
@TheMost…I totally understand what you mean, but a little heads up would be nice. A phone call…something. I mean 3-4months in…and a sister can't get that?!
lol
It probably isn't such a great memory for the chicks walking around bewildered wondering why you just dropped off the face of the earth…it's a beautiful memory for you because you know why it ended. For her it's like the puzzle she has never been able to solve.
I agree w/ Max. She'll probably always regard you as 'the one that got away.'
Thank you for this lil rare glimpse of honesty and introspection Most! THANK YOU! Cause when we say this same thing, when we deduce this based off of a man's actions…men scoff and tell us to stop overthinking the room and throw some pearl of wisdom like "it is what it T.I. is" at us to shut us up (and make us feel crazy! or is that just me?).
As for the "I wasn't an asshole, this way it's just a beautiful memory" yeah, take a cue from your old self and just stop talking right about there. Cause, no…it wasn't just a beautiful memory for the chick that had already fallen for you. She hadn't not just imagined this amazing relationship. The long, deep conversations, the fun dates, great love-making, and trips to wine country…that was real to her and it was wonderful and then *poof* it was gone. What did she do wrong? How did she spoil this seemingly perfect relationship? What was the ONE imperfection that she was comfortable enough to expose to you that invalidated all the great times that you'd had together? Better believe the next guy won't get the honor of hearing about that imperfection up front!
It can stay a nice memory for you, because you have all the facts, you know why it ended, you're in on the plot. She's in the dark, blind sided, left with a thousand questions. She's left asking what was so wrong with her that something that appeared ALL good, was so easy to forget, so easy to walk away from…without even so much the courtesy of a good-bye, much less an explanation. She doesn't look back at that and say, "well it was good while it lasted", she thinks "what the HELL happened with that??" If she'd had some closure maybe she could've looked back fondly…but as is, you remain "the one that got away" and be honest; that's part of the reason you did it like that…you didn't want to be the @sshole that admitted that yeah, I like you. Things are great, but I'm not trying to be in a real relationship that involves feelings and responsibilities and *gasp* imperfections…I'm just trying to get my d!ck wet on a regular basis with a chick that's fun to be around. And when you're no longer fun, I'll discard you and get a newer model. That's truth. It's not pretty, but it's honest.
And Most I appreciate the honesty. Thanks.
Hmmmmmm.
Did I just Read Closure here????
j/k
I like your style. #2thumbsup
@Starita
These women weren't broken hearted. We never quite made it to the point of "loving" one another, so, it wasn't like they were crying themselves to sleep. A lot of women, for some reason can't accept now for now. There always have to be thoughts and contemplations about tomorrow. I don't believe that every action in a person's life has to be geared toward affecting their tomorrow. Sometimes, now, is just perfect – let now be now, and let tomorrow be tomorrow.
I was almost offended by this part of your response:
'I’m just trying to get my d!ck wet on a regular basis with a chick that’s fun to be around. And when you’re no longer fun, I’ll discard you and get a newer model. That’s truth. It’s not pretty, but it’s honest.'
It was never, ever, just about sex. And I never took more from anyone than I gave. I wasn't using these women.
Being a woman, I'd tend to disagree that "these women weren’t broken hearted" I could be wrong, but that's my assumption and I'll own that it's probably more of a reflection of my own past than yours. I am absolutely one of "those women" that can't accept now for now. I plan, I speculate, I envision a future, I label *clutches pearls*. If I see no future with a man, I see no point in wasting my present with him, certainly not my body.
No disrespect was intended in my post, I truly appreciated you putting yourself out there. You're one of my favorite commenters. So I'm sorry for the almost offense I caused. But I never said it was just about sex, I did however imply that the relationship had an expiration date and that you knew this, but went ahead and took advantage of what you could before the timer dinged. You weren't in the place to want to provide a woman with a relationship at that time. But your actions showed her that a relationship was exactly what you were offering. You weren't looking to be her man, but you were wearing her man's uniform #ChrisRock. And to me, that is sorta using a girl unless she was in on the time limit as well. If things didn't work out, things didn't work out. But you admitted, nothing was wrong per se, you just wanted out on a positive note before things got too deep, too hectic, too not fun. I'm just saying that your "positive note", your "beautiful memory" was most likely quite a sour note to her, because she didn't know what happened. Why this great guy disappeared. Her beautiful memories were overshadowed by doubt and abandonment. Have any of the ladies here that said they were ghosted recounted how wonderful the time was that they DID have with the man? Or do the say, it was great, but he's the man that left me high and dry, wondering what the hell *I* did. Not this lovely mystery man that gave me 4 unforgettable months and left me wanting more…you could've been that…if she KNEW, if she was prepared to fit in all you could in 4 months and then part ways, but you didn't part ways. You disappeared and we internalize.
Now I know that your statements were made in hindsight, that at the time, you couldn't have articulated your reasoning so clearly. But that's the advantage of knowing all the facts. Something that you robbed these women the luxury of.
@Star –
This comment made me sit back in my chair. I can appreciate all that you've said. We still have a fundamental difference of perspective. You – I think – seem to be coming from the 'happily single but ready to settle down perspective'. For you, you view a perfect relationship that didn't pan out because the guy disappeared as a missed opportunity. I think it's only when you've found a life partner that you begin to truly appreicate the other relationships for what they were. Not missed opportunites, but experiences. Experiences that have their own intrinsic value. Being a married man now, I appreicate my past relationships, even the ones I -at the time – wished would have been more. Without them, I wouldn't be here.
But we can agree to disagree 🙂
*e-hugs* agree to disagree we shall. 🙂
*atta boy* good game Most, til we spar again. The intelligent convo is so welcomed.
This is why sharks have a week dedicated to you. 🙂
Thanks for being real about it.
Sort of backs up what I said previously.
@mostinteresting
You hit the nail on the head man!
That 3 month perfection period is truly blissful and invigorating. It usually takes about 3 months for your Representatives (the people that we are when we first meet somebody) and our real personalities to change shifts, like bus drivers. The representative pulls the bus over and simply gets off. His shift was but only temporary. THe full time driver gets on. But the bus is out of GAS. It can drive no further. No more smooth sailing and no concrete destination in sight. THe female passenger, in all the confused perplexity of the situation gets off the bus and walks away. The representative waits at the bus depo to get a fresh bus and a new route to start the ride all over again, looking for his perfect 3 month passenger.
The good thing about abrupt endings is that they leave a lot to the imagination (at least for guys) and they usually leave the women totally perplexed and frustrated. But this frustartion of hers is usually short lived and wont usually end up in extreme hatred for the guy or extensive bad mouthing him in salons or g-chat convos with her girlfriends.
These situations are like open-ended film school projects. The shit just ends..and nothing makes sense. I tend to do my best work (in all its badness) in this hazy fog of confusion and bizareness.
I've had a dude stop calling…happens to the best of us.
At first it's kinda like "hey what happened?"
But due to my stubborn nature, I refuse to ask any questions about "why or what happened"
Oh, you not calling me back….cool. *deletes # from phone*…it's as simple as that. Why drive yourself crazy wondering what happened?
Ditto.
I have a one call/ one text rule. After that its on to a next one.
I met a guy and we started talking (hrs on the phone and I HATE talking on the phone), followed by a few pretty cool dates/ outings.
I sent a text one day (we had plans later) and called…got no response. I didn't think much of it at first, got busy myself and didn't pay it TOO much mind…Well, a day turned into two, which turned into a week, which turned into 4 weeks. No call, no nothing (by either party… I like to think that I've learned my lesson about what it means when he doesn't call).
Ran into him at a lounge and didn't speak, just smiled and went on about my business.
He hovered allll night. Straight ran up on me on the dance floor LIVID about why I hadn't called. I told him I texted/ called. He said…
"I liked you. You should have tried harder" NO LIE.
I said to myself, THIS ISH RIGHT HERE is why you don't keep calling/texting. And why you don't obsess over why or why not. Can't waste good energy on game players looking for an ego stroke.
Ahh. Yes. The "You should have tried harder. I liked you" bull. I hate it. I don't have a specific rule but you can tell when I pretty much give up. Throw everything in the air and just keep it moving. Run into them and they ask YOU what happened.
Funny thing is if the roles were reversed (you were a guy), no one would bat an eye at the story.
Hell … I think I have had several girls say some "you should have tried harder" mess to me.
I agree. I don't try any harder than the amount of effort I get in return from women.
I have a real job where I actually get paid….No point in working for nothing.
If she's gonna not answer her phone, then she shouldn't give me her number. Point effing blank.
Wow. I have seen this happen too and I don't get it….
If the man initiated contact, pursued me initially, and we are hitting it off, why would he then want me to become the pursuer.
I'm thinking, if he likes me, he will show it (by contacting me when he can and wants to) and if I like him I show it by being responsive to him/the contact.
Meanwhile he's on some "you could have had me if you had tried harder" B.S. What is the world coming to? Maybe I'm just traditional/old school with the whole notion of the man taking the lead and going after what he wants.
I guess in the end, me and the guy in need of an ego boost are incompatible anyway and I guess that's better to find out sooner than later. No losses.
You reached out in various means. The dude didn't return the calls/texts so moving on was probably best. He already set the tone of what to expect in any future type of relationship. Signs are usually there from the beginning if we pay attention.
He should have tried harder by making sure he returned your messages.
How about he stopped calling because he is just not THAT into YOU….it all boils down to this. one true fact.
He can't afford the cell phone bill – Bogus! He could call from his work phone, borrow a friends cell phone, etc.
His boy thought he smashed you – If he is going to be that childish and not even ask me…then he needs to step on anyway.
Your name reminds him of his ex – No disrespect, but that is the stupidest reasoning I have ever heard.
He called three times with no response – Anything could've have happened with me or my phone. A man who is truly interested will keep calling.
He just doesn't feel like it – That is just an excuse because he is just not that into you.
Final Point – He is just not that into YOU, just find someone who is.
Ill say this.. Im not tryna date a chick with an ex's name.. or my sisters or moms name.
#spooky!
That good good better be great great if thats the case!
I have to agree on this one…I met someone with my brother's name once upon a time and it was a no go. The thought of calling out his name in the throws of passion was creepy.
Well, I guess to each their own..A name is just a name to me….I would get to know the person first beyond their government name……
yeah you're right…I forgot to add in that in addition to sharing my brother's name..I learned early that he also had extremely bad hygiene habits. yuck. lol
"He called three times with no response – Anything could’ve have happened with me or my phone. A man who is truly interested will keep calling."
This is exactly how you end up w/ guys harassing you via phone.
No one wants to be harassed…I'm just saying that if a man is interested he will call again…..it doesn't have to be to the point of harassment but he will call again…thats all.
SN: Has anyone listened to R. Kelly's first single from Love Letter "When A Woman Loves"?
Lol. Okay go.
Listening now
Moisted off the first 30 seconds
iCan't…this is the Kellz I love
Damn the production is SICK…old school
*breathes* I gotta see if this sh!t is sampled. sound so familiar
I knew you’d like it. Sounds like the prom dance music for Grease. I already played the entire scene out in my head. Okay now I’m outta here. Comment # is growing. *unsubscribes* lol
I remember one time I got this womans Phone Number, and although I HATE calling people at times, I called. Called her like twice – straight to VM. Hit her with a text, no response. 3 strikes and you're out.
No reason for me to wonder about reasons, because if I ever doubted myself, I allow my inner conceited MF to walk myself to the bathroom, turn on the lights, force myself to look in the mirror and say "Do you know who you are? and this chick didnt even have the courtesy to hit you back. Man.. we on to the NEXT!"
Women you should do that too. Know who you are and let these dudes know its THEIR loss.
Luv thyself
Viva Tequilla Avion!
Streetz, i love you dude…do you know that? I just felt the need to express it here! lol
Did you leave a message? If not, it's entirely likely she never saw your calls or text. If her phone went straight to voicemail, then it obviously wasn't on or something to that effect. Life does actually happen sometimes and your phone really can go dead.
Don't make excuses for this chic … F* her.
I'm just sayin, that going straight to voicemail indicates an issue with her phone. She would get the text once she turned on her phone, and since it sounds like she never responded, I see why you're saying f*ck her. I just hope that you gave her at least a day or two to get the message before you said f*ck her.
Ummmm SaneN85 I see what you trying to do here BUT Ma……. #shakeshead 🙂
Unless she was on the back of a milk carton,
Ole girl got the TEXT at least, if not, the VMM/MISSED CALLS as well
She Just Was Not That Into Streetz…
Exactly GSX
Like what I look like hittin her on all forms of communication just to talkl?!
Yes I left a message im not on of these "too cool to leave msgs" ppl. She had my # in her phone too…
You have to look at your calling people and even giving your # out as a privilege to them. Why look thirsty?
My mom had the killer verse "Thers millions of women in the world, why worry about ONE?"
**drops mic
A granny said ''there are millions of D**ks on the boat, and that boat didn't sink yet''.
Streetz, I can understand that. If you reached out to her 3 times and she's not responding, then it's the flipside: she's probably not that interested in you.
And if she is interested and playing some sort of game by not responding to your 3 attempts, then you don't need to be bothered with her anyway.
Yes, keep it moving.
I co-sign this whole post, Streetz!
Yeah, she just wasn't that into YOU or she would've hit you back….it happens.
She was actin like a grenade anyway *shrugs*
Makin me feel unpretty. TLC.
:'(
lmao
But Max, think about the big picture, the long view. Of course she'll be bewildered at first. But, eventually, she'll meet someone new, fall in and out of love, get married at some point, have a couple kids, and settle on into life. She'll get older, her best days will be behind her and the happiness of youth will evolve into the monotony of maturity. She won't even look at herself as herself anymore, she'll be "mom" or "wife", "grandma" or "aunty". When life takes over, and there's no more room to dream about perfection and all she can do is be content with her reality, it is then that she'll appreciate the fact that when she was young, she spent a perfect 4 months with someone.
^^^this was supposed to be a reply to max's reply to me up thread… I failed on hitting the "reply" button. Happens.
No Most. Just – no. The abrupt, inexplicable ending clouds the perfection of the relationship. It's like you prepared the most perfect meal for her, she ate half of it, and then you whipped out your d!ck and pissed all over it.
How is she going to remember that meal for the rest of her life? The best meal anyone ever prepared? Or the one someone pissed all over?
What Max said.
I was trying to think of an analogy, but Max got it…shoulda read all the comments before I commented.
As you were.
No Max. I didn't piss on the plate. Pissing on the plate would be me playing her by trying to avoid "so what are we" conversations. Pissing on the plate would be stringing her along for another 3 months as I lost interest, started looking at and talking to other women. Pissing on the plate would be hanging onto the relationship, purely for sex, even though we both know it would be other. In that case, we're left bitter and with regret.
The perfect meal isn't always the one that fills you. Sometimes, it's the one that leaves you yearning for just one more bite.
Man that's lovely and poetic Most…
but you need more people.
"No Max. I didn’t piss on the plate. Pissing on the plate would be me playing her by trying to avoid “so what are we” conversations. Pissing on the plate would be stringing her along for another 3 months as I lost interest, started looking at and talking to other women. Pissing on the plate would be hanging onto the relationship, purely for sex, even though we both know it would be other. In that case, we’re left bitter and with regret."
@ Most…what happened to just saying that it's not working out? I mean, I agree 100% with Max….nowhere do I see you (or any man usually) just coming clean (or as clean as you're going to). All your plate-pissing scenarios still avoid the entire situation of just letting her know. Either way, she's going to be hurt/pissed, etc, but at least she can definitely move on without wondering what it was that she did.
It's like finding the perfect job…you get paid well, your work is on point, everyone likes you, you like everyone else, you get praise, the company is doing well and then all of a sudden, your key to the building/office doesn't work or your passwords don't work, and no one is telling you why. You'd be more than a little pissed and still wondering what you did wrong. That is kind of what it feels like…
lol, cosign @ needing more people.
Although I can't say that I've had many such bewildering experiences, I remember the back and forth with one ex in particular. First love, all that crap. We're good friends now, but boy was I taken for a ride. There were some unexplained disappearances, and even when I thought things were over, I can't say that I ever once looked back on that part of the affair with a smile. The smile-worthy moments were inevitably followed by thoughts of the lack of closure, and my mood would sour instantly. I echo what Max, Starita & other ladies have said in that it's of course easier for the one who calls it quits to move on, because he has all the facts.
Even if one is not in love, one would have invested oneself emotionally and otherwise over the course of 3-4 months, and no matter what kind of justifications anyone tries to offer, a disappearance without warning only suits the party playing ghost. As SBM pointed out, it's simply unfair; no two-ways about it. It seems that women have more of a penchant for closure, so I don't know that this argument will ever be resolved in either sex's favour. All I know is that I will never, ever be able to "appreciate" the experience a ghost of the past afforded me for "what it was worth" in happier times. It'd only serve as a lesson that there are assholes out there – because that's exactly what he would be to me. Better I am informed that, for whatever reason, the relationship has been deemed unworkable. I may be confused, hurt, etc, for a brief time, but at least I'd know right then and there that it's over, and can quicker move on without wondering about the thousand and one things it could have been. Oh, those moments piss me off like no other.
I had one disappear for four months…the last time i spoke to him, he said he had hop practice & would call me back but never did…disappeared, showed back up & when he did, he said he needed to get away from everything & everybody but that it had "nothing to do with me". I asked him why he couldn't just tell me he needed space cause i would've surely understood that cause after all, he was pushing for a relationship & i was trying to take it slow. -_-
I will reach out to guys on the basis of 1) i don't want to be forgotten (something about that notion scares me) & 2) i care about their well-being (if i got to know them well enough). Maybe that's just me though. *shrug*
Good post…i thought it was going to be a rant post so i was trying to think of what to rant about, lol!
I know I personally will not over-pursue a woman….I agree with the 3-call rule….If I am putting in the work by initiating contact and she decides she's not answering the phone, I move on.
Also….I don't believe in trying to get with the neighborhood smuts, either. I'm running into that "But I know for a fact that four people I know have hit that already" issue with some of the women in my demographic.
Same goes for those closet lesbians/bisexuals…..Can't take them seriously knowing that they can't even figure out what side of the fence they are on. Besides, how many women would f*** with a dude knowing he was gay? Exactly.
Welcome! *throws e-confetti*
Thanks.
@TheReleastLeo –
Welcome and all that good stuff. But yo, I peeped your comment on this post and on the Stop Digging post. I think you're homophobic and I just wanted to call you on it.
In your other post you said that "that ish is running RAMPANT"…
And then here again you call them out again saying they can't figure out what side of the fence they're batting on…
SBM.org is safe space, homes. I'd appreciate if we keep it that way.
On the low, it sounds like you got played by a lesbian or bisexual female before like she bedded you and never called you back. I mean it happens to the best of us, don't be mad that you just got used for the night when she really doesn't even like men. Used to happen to me all the time and I don't mind.
I swear I met the love of my life once! We were talking almost every day. He called me more than I called him (which I took as a sign he was really feelin me) We went out a couple times. The last time we went out it was great, he even called me the next morning.
Then BAM! Phone was disconnected.
FML Seriously!
Welcome and all that good ish.
Was it your phone or his that got disconnected?
Did he rarely drink beer, but when he did drink beer it had to be Dos Equis? 😉
Well played Starita… impressive. Imagine though? Wouldn't that be the coinkydink of all coinkydinks…
Wouldn't surprise me one bit…it's a small, small world.
Which is why I wish the "smashed the homies" rule would go the way of the DoDo.
She didn't mention earth-shattering love making – so – probably wasn't me.
lol, couldn't have been…
lol!
Like some others have said,….He's not that into you. He's not that into you. He's not that into you.
That's the bottom line.
Yes, he may have liked you or thought he liked you at one point in time, but if he doesn't "like" you *enough* to want to "talk" to YOU on the phone (or even text, chat, email, etc) then it doesn't matter.
Don't waste time wondering why when all the million possible whys don't matter and some of them may actually have nothing to do with you (e.g., the fantabulous next door neighbor that got him in a state of p**** whippedness).
The fact that yall NOT talking is what matters. Keep it moving.
i can't front…i'm guilty of this, early.and.often.
i've been called "whodini" by many past flings and have mastered the art of the irish exit
*when you take off a band-aid, you yank that b*tch off, you don't pull it off slowly*
i could go into specific reasons why, but i think it all boils down to that there are so many women out there that there's no point in having an uncomfortable convo with one when i can just meet a new one that i'll like…until i don't anymore.
another thing is that for some strange reason women NEED closure. men aren't built that way, if we see trouble we walk/run away and won't look back….nor do we care to analyze WHY it went bad….i call it a shooter's mentality, i forget about the missed shots because the next one is always gonna go in.
lastly, women don't take rejection well. ever. so it's easier just walk away
once again…i'm generalizing so spare me with the diatribe on how YOU don't act like that. thanks, management.
…and i'm fully aware this makes women hate my guts, but ironically 92% of them come back eventually #kanyeshrug
But then again, ACTION speaks louder than words. If you stop communicating, it's obvious you don't want to be bothered with her any more.
I still look at that as the coward approach. Man up or Woman up and be honest with the woman or man.
Sheila G: I still look at that as the coward approach. Man up or Woman up and be honest with the woman or man.
I have to fall back on the cosign with this one just for the simple fact NOT everybody can handle UPFRONT rejection in a sane manner. Therefore sometimes it's best to pull a Casper…*shrugs
See I think that's the problem. We all are rejected at some point in our life. Get used to it. WTH you gonna off yourself b/c you didn't get a job or that man? If that's the case you truly need help.
People need to learn how to pick up the pieces and keep it moving. Yeah it sucks, but so what! I'm not saying you need to be rude and harsh to let someone know you're not interested. But as a grown ass man or woman, that's a pill you should be able to swallow.
Kids are conditioned early on about not feeling rejected. I work w/ high schoolers and we have different events…contests and such. My co-worker wants everybody to be a winner. Eff that! That's not life! SOMEBODY has to be the loser of be rejected. Learn to accept it early on,lol
@sheliag (and @sinnamon)
btw i'm a gemini lol…thus my life is the epitome of "on to the next one"
sometimes i get distracted…i might get up to go to the bathroom and decide i want a bowl of cereal, start heading to kitchen and then think of a song i want to hear, next thing you know it's 7AM am and i'm at work
…a personal note: i work in a classified area and can't bring my cell phone to my desk for my day job, i also dj a few nights a week, thus at both jobs i can't use my phone, so sh*t happens….
Carver….stop blamin' all that whimsical indecisiveness on Gemini's…that's called ADD. lmao… j/k
"once again…i’m generalizing so spare me with the diatribe on how YOU don’t act like that. thanks, management."
~hilarious
Or his girl found out he was trying to holla at some breezy…
somebody has been reading the story of my life…
I'm usually the breezy… phone calls stop coming when the missus finds out. I always get swindled the saaaaame way. When that blocked number comes across my screen my spidey senses start to tingle.
I agree with everyone that is saying if a man stops calling he is just NOT that into you.
Men are prehistorically known as hunters. When they want something they go get it. If it takes several phone calls/texts then so be it. I can not be convinced of anything different.
*sigh*
its almost sad.
instead of listening they would rather judge us based off of observations made from cavemen.
I guess if we are to look at cavemen for guidance, we should club women and never be monogamous.
Cheekz I am going off of what MANY SBMs said already in previous threads.
Example #1. Most admitted to doing the ghost after 3 months…he married the woman he decided was worth repetitive phone calls.
Carver stated he was and I quote "whodini"…
If a guy stops calling (like above cases in point) he is not interested. Is that every man…no. Stuff happens but I don't have time for the madness.
So a man is supposed to pursue and pursue spite no despite no effort in return from the woman until he finally succeeds?
Where is the effort on the other side coming from?
Better yet….Don't most women know that reciprocation is the best form of showing a man she's interested? It also gives MOST men that are genuinely interested a reason to continue. Most people wouldn't go to work every day if they got a check for zero dollars every payday.
TheRealestLeo,
I can't speak for all women, but if the man is pursuing and I'm interested, then I will reciprocate in the communication department.
Even if I'm not interested, I communicate that as well so there will be no room for misinterpretations.
I can't imagine being a man and playing the cat and mouse game of pursuit. I just don't have it in me. I would be ONE call and fugg'em! Beat yo' feet
But the examples above…the women was reciprocating and dude STILL fell off the face of the earth.
So now what?
Exactly! Tell'em!
When I say pursue, I mean initiate. I don't mean a man should continue to call a woman that doesn't answer or call back or continue to text a nonresponsive woman. Clearly, she's not that into you.
An interested woman may hit you up from time to time, but if you are pursuing her, then I'd guess you'd be doing most of the initiating. If she always responds positively, wants to talk, text, chat, hang out, then clearly she is feeling you too. If this case, what more do you want from her? She's interested. She likes you.
What's the problem? You sir are pursuing…leading, what do you want to happen next?
I was defending the philosophy behind the "one/two/three calls and I'm done" mentality.
Those situations illustrate a man putting in the work and getting nothing in return from a woman….that's garbage. Know the cool thing about phones? Alexander Graham Bell made 'em so that they work BOTH WAYS!!!!!
*nodding my head fervently*
I can't comment on the actual reciprocation thing you mentioned because that's not the point I was driving home. Plus I have yet to meet a woman that actually genuinely reciprocates. 'Nother story, though.
100% Co-sign for TheRealestLeo
"I agree with everyone that is saying if a man stops calling he is just NOT that into you.
Men are prehistorically known as hunters. When they want something they go get it. If it takes several phone calls/texts then so be it. I can not be convinced of anything different."
^^THIS. Even if life happens, that's fine. I'm not disputing that at all, I'm just saying that you didn't like me ENOUGH to overcome that or whatever. It is what it is.
I used to get so burnt when guys did this, then I came to the realization that he wasn't that into me and life has been so much better ever since. And mostly because the opposite is true. If he IS that into you, you'll know it.
I'm not saying dude has to call/text/FB/tweet/IM ridiculously, but if he's interested, IT'S obvious, if he's not, it's obvious too. #kanyeshrug
I'm so mad that, "he's just not that into you" became women's catch phrase of the 21st century… It's like y'all didn't have a word, now this one came about and now you're going to run with it forever.
I'm starting to understand why white people used to say the "N-word" so much and now it's just us. It just got old after a while.
lmao! stop it!
Since the guys are boo-ing the "he's not into" idea
now I'm wondering…
If you are really into a girl and she's responsive when you contact her, would you even have the thought, "I like her but she's not trying hard enough" ???
Cause I'm think if that's the case you truly don't think of yourself as the pursuer OR you just need an excuse to rationalize discontinuing things with her.
What exactly does "responsive" mean?
I think that is usually where thing mess up. She says "I'm being responsive" and he's telling his boys "I'm gonna stop wasting my time and let her go".
Responsive as in she texts back or answers the phone and engages in conversation with you or when you ask her out she's down. The more you initiate, the more she responds. She may even hit you up from time to time without you initiating as well to chat or even invite you out.
You got the three calls … too bad your signal sucks in your new apartment
I have a 2 call rule; in the early stages, if i call and leave 2 voicemails with no return phone call within a few days i don't call anymore. in fact i delete the # just so i can say "who is this?" if/when she finally does call.
if we make light convo then we can proceed, but if she gets tight that i deleted her # then i prolly wouldn't have like her anyway. deuces.
…with texting becoming more of the standard communication technique, i may need to amend this rule, but i'm just not a fan of texting ppl i don't know well.
You say: "Who is this?"
I say: "Doesn't matter"….
Dial Tone.
"If you would like to make a call…please hang up and try your call again…."
Like I said no time for the madness.
That's not madness…..that's cutting losses.
Apparently the woman wasn't as interested and/or available as she might have initially led on whenever man and woman first met and exchanged phone numbers.
if YOU are the one that didn't return my attempts to court you, then how can you be mad at me for being efficient with my phone book's real estate?
#FOH
"…ooooh they so sensitive" – Kanye
Yeah … this is that ol' bullsh*t.
How are you mad your number got deleted when you went into hiding?
I am a busy woman. It has happened in times past that I can not call a man back right away " within a few days"…
What if I am traveling abroad? I do. It happens.
What if I had a death in my family? I have. It happens.
What if I had the flu? Its contagious. I'm dead dog sick. It happens.
You deleting my number is a loss on YOUR part Carver.
My dude knew what he wanted so he was patient and kept calling/texting. I am not saying if she gives you the cold shoulder to keep trying but at least wait a week or so. IMO a week is fair.
Im going into the booth to review BP's comment as a possible swindle.
"It probably isn’t such a great memory for the chicks walking around bewildered wondering why you just dropped off the face of the earth…it’s a beautiful memory for you because you know why it ended. For her it’s like the puzzle she has never been able to solve."
EXACTLY! You're still an a**hole in her book. That's the punk a** way out and there is no way around it. At least you can just say, I don't think it's working out and K.I.M. I'm extremely sensitive about this, so I ALWAYS feel some kind of way when I hear guys say this, especially for that long. It makes my blood boil, because there really isn't any excuse for this behavior.
A couple weeks, eh, whatever…so what? Get over it quickly, but a few months?? Nah, that's foul for no explanation.
I guess that's why some women follow the 3-month rule.
I think you are missing the point.
"At least you can just say, I don’t think it’s working out and K.I.M."
It was working out. It was working out just fine. Instead of letting it go downhill which it only could – better to just leave it where it's at. Has nothing to do with being a punk or being afraid. It's not selfish, nor is it inconsiderate. It's actually very considerate. Y'all are all hung up on the abrubtness of the ending. It's like, you think you'd be happier if I just lied and said I don't like you. That would make things "make sense" for you. Not everything is supposed to make sense. Somethings just are.
And I can appreciate your sensitivity on this issue, but that's no reason to say it's the punk way out. Just say you don't understand and leave it at that.
Sooo, after three months (or so) of great times by both people, you don't think she deserves an explanation?
My point is, it doesn't have to go downhill. Just end it. I agree with you on why drag it out or lead her on. I totally agree with that. I take issue with the not doing ANYTHING approach, especially after you had gotten to know the person.
And sometimes, yeah, it might be better to be lied to in this case and just say, "I don't like you." The same name-calling would still ensue (without your knowledge) as if you faded to black, BUT what can you do when someone says something like that to you except accept it and move on? You'll be pissed, but there was an "explanation" and that's it and that's all. The disappearing is inconsiderate.
General statement (not directed @ you Most):
I find it funny that men/women can subject themselves to MAJOR life/lifestyle changes (i.e. sex and all the unpleasantries that can sometimes accompany that), but can't tell someone that they're not interested anymore. I find that fascinating, in general.
Sorry … but I gotta agree with new2natural … that was pretty f'd up what you were doing.
Band Of Brothers? Watch it.
Lemme just say before I eeeeeem get started reading the commentary from the peanut gallery… 178 comments?! Ya'll goin IN on this not-so-lovely Friday.
Exactly! OD with the comments ^_^ lol
There are a lot of comments, but – it's very segmented. Really there's like 4 or 5 conversations going on. You just gotta pick one and join.
But this has actually been an all time favorite topic for me. great job SBM… even though you hung me out to dry…
I'm horrible- I won't lie.
I'm known not to call guys back. Sorry. Don't care. I'll get your number and not save it. I'm also known to look at messages and not respond (hence why getting my bbm pin means I think highly of you).
I'm not trying to be rude but I know what I want to give effort to and what I don't. Why waste time? Now if I make the effort of asking for your number- chances are I will test the waters. It's just become so difficult to refuse to give out your number without seeming like a b*tch, and now a day men check the validity of your number on the spot.
So- I understand.
Hmph. Interesting topic. I currently have the name(s)
GHOSTFACE 1
GHOSTFACE 2
GHOSTFACE 3
GHOSTFACE 4
GHOSTFACE 5
GHOSTFACE 6
all saved in my phone. They are 6 different guys whom I was at one point 'talking to' but they subsequently disappeared. So i've been a victim of the holla-n-run a few times. The only reason I still have them is b/c a few of them hit me up occassionally and I like to kind of have his rap sheet on hand b/c I forget ppl's offenses quickly. I could delete them but I think I'm gonna turn them into collectors items.
But I'm sayin doh! We had to use MY name!? at least I'm not Nikki, but still!!
i'm with max. i feel like if a dude stops contacting you then he really just lost interest. simple as that. whatever the reason if a man wants to be with you then nothing will keep him away. on the flip side if he doesn't want to be with you then nothing will make him stay. people make time for what they want to make time for. this works for both men and women.
"…people make time for what they want to make time for."
I co-sign the whole post, but ^^this is one of my mottos.
Cosign. Thank you!
Co-sign….and you know how rare that is. lol. 😉
people make time for what they want to make time for.
^^^AMEN! I say that all the time!
I can't even get through all the comments (yet) but this is all I'll say..
If dude drops off the planet, that's fine.. But don't call me 7 months later and say, "Wuz up, stranger."
*click*
GTFOH
"if you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try your call again.. if you need help, hang up and then dial your operator.."
If dude drops off the planet, that’s fine.. But don’t call me 7 months later and say, “Wuz up, stranger.”
*click*
LOL, so true. But you're better than me. I'm pretty good with number memorization, so if I remember his number (or parts of it), then he doesn't even get the courtesy of a pick up. He can leave a message at the beep, or not. That call is irrelevant at that point and will promptly be ignored as if it never occurred.
That reminds me…that happened to me one time. Dude, called like several months later. I truly didn't remember him at all…I could tell he didn't remember either…pitiful. lol.
LOL….so funny and sad at the same time.
If I understand correctly:
Men are frustrated when women doesn't reciprocate ''genuinely''
Women are upset when men disapear from the surface of the earth
Again ''he/she is not just that into you'' and yes it hurts when you are interested but such is life. Not fair 😉
What's wrong with communication nowadays ? We have so many ways to converse nowadays, we are trying to avoid it.
Men/Women when you play Houdini, you are being impolite and disrespectful. And you hurt the person no matter how much you try to explain that you don't, you do.
I’ve had this happen twice. Seemingly great guys, just stopped calling. I ran into both of them a few months later, and lo and befunkinghold, these ninjas were locked up. Both of them had good stable jobs and never gave off any vibes that they were in and out of jail. I suppose I should step up my game on recognizing ASNs. Both of them still call me every few months (probably after getting out of jail), but I stopped answering those a long time ago.
I’ve been guilty of the no calling/not responding thing more than once. One time it was that despite that I liked this guy and he was a T.I. doppleganger (yes, T.I.), he was a painter (houses, not canvas) and always heavily smelled like paint. The smell started to make me feel sick. It wasn’t that I intentionally stopped answering him, but once he called and I just didn’t feel like answering so I didn’t. I knew he was going to want to chill, and I didn’t. Then it happened again, he called and I didn’t feel like answering. Next thing I know, it’s been 3-4 weeks since I talked to him. Too late to call now. *shrugs*
I’m not going to stress about any guy who decided to drop off the face of the earth. Ish happens, and I don’t have time to waste wondering why.
ASNs?
Ain't sh*t ninjas.
It's difficult seperating the ASN from good dudes, when good dudes display ASN tendencies or use their vernacular,lol
Thank you! 🙂
@LaBakir: But if a "good" dude is diplaying ASN tendencies isn't he really just a ASN? What separates the dude from the behaviour?
@ Max
Nah, I don't think so. I've come across dudes who are genuinely good dudes…but don't know how to interact/talk w/ woman and pick up sh!t from ASN…thinking it'll be successful.
So while his intentions are good, and may really be interested in this woman…his use of ASN vernacular is effing up his chances
LOL!!! How you gonna play T.I. like that?!
I don't personally know the man, but his lifestyle combined with peoples' continued collective love for the ignorant thugs and fools is what might draw the ire of some of us more upstanding Brothas who struggle with that same level of adoration from the general populace.
So with that said, T.I. is basically another above-average rapper that can't stay out of jail….IMO
How many of those do we have out there? LOL
Uhhhh, I was joking. I adore T.I. simply as eye candy. Other than that, he's quite possibly one of the dumbest people of 2009/2010.
^ By the way—-Wasn't speaking for anyone else there….Just my personal and fundamental beef with guys like T.I.
Ohhhh ok. I was like "sheesh",lol
I didn't say it was right, but it just happened.
Also, I agree that the little man is sexy (despite being 4'8), but he is clearly not the brightest crayon.
LOL…girl bye! I don't care. I just think T.I. is FINE…so if I came across a guy who looked remotely like him, I'd be torn :p
And he's not that short,lol.
He's too smart for his own good…so much so that he makes poor choices. I know other people like that. Just plain destructive.
"He’s too smart for his own good…so much so that he makes poor choices. I know other people like that. Just plain destructive."
I never got the "too smart for their own good… so much so that he makes poor choices" thing. Besides, his intelligence was up for question when he procreated with Tiny, long before he violated probation.
"Besides, his intelligence was up for question when he procreated with Tiny, long before he violated probation."
LMAO I just literally laughed out loud thanks for that! LMAOOOOOO
Sane I am eating. You can't make me laugh like that. I damn near choked. LMAO
T.I. is intelligent. But that intelligence doesn't transfer over into other areas of his life.
What areas of his life does it translate to (other than his rapping, which I call talent not intelligence)?
He has a pretty keen business sense and creates profitable opportunities for himself, similar to Jay-Z and Diddy.
Difference is, they've managed to leave that "life" behind…T.I. hasn't, thus is intelligence is lacking in that area. Poor descision making when it comes to his life.
When I was reading your response, it made me think of another reason why folks just don't call the other person–they don't want to hurt the other person's feelings so they just avoid talking to them. Doesn't make it right, but that's another reason why folks don't call or return calls or texts.
That is very true Sheila
As someone who is currently suffering through the "no call" situation none of this makes sense! These all sound like excuses to me. And I just feel like picking up the phone should not be that hard.
I WOULD LOVE (turned the caps off..lol) to truly comment but last time I shared my thoughts I was PC jumped..but this one made me laugh.
yours truly
the Degrassi extra/Black JWOW. LOL
In the courting phase I want the man to be perfect. Yes sometime I look for reasons for cutting him off. Like being late for a date. I will not answer phone calls and text messages if a guy is late. And you can not call me last minute to "hang out'.
EX. Its a Friday night, He calls and I answer
g:hey you wanna hang out
me: when?
g:i'll pick you up in a hour.
me: nah its kinda late. I dont feel like going out tonight.
And fellas please know that some women give you their numbers, and dont expect or care if you call. And some hope you dont call at all because she only gave it to you because you asked or you were nice and she felt obligated. Sorry Im on my Spice Girl Movement. GIRL POWER.
If you don't want a phone call, why give out your number? Why lead a man on like that? Isn't it easier to just respectfully tell the man "No thanks"? Because as soon as a man gets a woman's phone number, don't you think that he's thinking that you are at least SOMEWHAT interested since you gave it to him?
Or am I asking too much for a woman to be mature when turning down a man? I guess some of y'all get a kick out of dragging—-er, leading a man on for no reason. Go head and stroke your lil' egos….Miss me with that bullcrap….lol
I don't know about Jerseylicious' case but I know that some of us (myself included) give a guy the number b/c a lot men out here can't handle rejection. I'm the nicest person you'll ever meet but after being called a B!TCH outright one too many times for not handing over my number I decided it was easier to give it and not call. Especially since I saw the news story about the girl who got shot in the leg for not handing over her number… I'm sorry but I work too hard on my calves & my heels are too flyy to missing a leg. iCant. iWont.
If women are constantly running into men that can't handle rejection, then maybe a change in the places they meet men is in order.
(Not taking the blame off of men, though….Shooting a chick in the leg is stupid and that fool deserves whatever the judge throws at him.)
Av learnt that goin out on d first 2nd and 3rd date is no lisence to 'expect more' from a guy.same rule shld be applied to a guy who successfully gets d number of a lady.
If I go through the trouble of giving you my number you should call.
I would tell a guy if I am not interested in him calling me. He has to accept that.
I don't need an excuse as to why you didn't call, why? Because I don't care and I have already deleted you out of my phone.
I was talking to a girl and everything was going good….until she said she hated old people; she couldnt stand them, they disgust her , they smell and they are all wrinkly, she wished that they would hurry up and die already….and on top of that she's going to school to be a nurse? Thats ugly, if I was just trying to hit and split then it wouldn't have mattered but I thought she had potential; ambitious, educated, pretty …but cold on the inside
#how could she be so heartless…
AP…I'm sorry I lol'd at "how could she be so heartless". Maybe she has a bad experience w/ the geriatric kind…..lol….I have had an old woman cuss me out a time or two when volunteering. *shrug*
I keep hearing guys say "its just easier"? Easier for whom? Sounds like a coward move if you ask me……..I just delete them from my phone and my mental rolodex. I find it hilarious when they ALWAYS try to come back around. My response is usually no response at all.