I hate popups!

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If it were only that easy. Norton Antivirus > this though!

Have you ever suffered a breakup, and bounced back like round ball? You know that feeling, that tonight’s gonna be a good night you can’t lose. You probably sulked or mourned for a few days/weeks, but soon after you were back on your feet. You got that new job or a raise, started hitting the gym and you’re beachbody ready, or more importantly, you started dating again. You met people who make your fillet Mignon ex-relationship look like Ramen Noodles. You’re walking on cloud 9, and nothing will bring you down. Then it happens…

GCHAT CONVO



Anastasia – Hey JoJo! How’s things been since that breakup?

Josephine – Gurrrrrl listen! I think I almost 100% back!

Anastasia – Oh word? Does it have anything to do with your new boo Gilroy? *smile*

Josephine – **BBM Dancing Smiley** I can’t believe this new guy I’m seeing can blow my spine out of its socket treat me so well. What was I thinking before? I feel great!

Anastasia – You slut! lollll I aint mad at you though. Glad you got over that last dude..

Josephine – You and me both boo! Nothing can take my high away!

**JoJo’s phone rings**

Josephine – Hello?

Thelonious – Hey JoJo, its me.

Josephine – Theo?!! What do you want?

Thelonious – I just wanted to reach out and say hey.. see what’s up. Was thinking of you….

Josephine **typing to Anastasia** – Theo just called me… damn I hate Pop-ups!!

So what is a pop-up you ask? Let me dip into the Streetzapedia:

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Popup (n) – An ex boyfriend/girlfriend who only communicates/interacts with their former lovers when the former lover is experiencing times of prosperity (new job, new relationship, etc)

Just like poor Josephine in the example above, I think we all have experienced this unfortunate phenomena before. I abhor pop-ups with every fiber of my being. It’s as if they have a GPS or Spider-Sense that tingles when their former boos are doing well. I always wondered why they seemed to come around when all is right in your world. Allow me to expound…

They heard it through the grapevine

One thing you can’t avoid when you break-up with someone is the common friends that you have. Especially those with whom you’ve discussed your ex many times prior. They may innocently bring up an accomplishment of yours, or how you’re smashing everything that moves and is a 9 or better dating and loving it.  Then you have those friends who VOLUNTEER information about your ex. I don’t know if they think you’re interested, or want to gauge your reaction like some science project, but they do that also. So your ex may hear of your good times and want to partake in them with you. **BBM Talk To Hand Smiley**

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The grass on the other side is artificial

So that new relationship that they started to get over you, that they probably started while dating you, or the new “one”, turned out to be just another reggin. They went all-in and bet the house that this person would supersede you in every way, and they were wrong! So now that they see the “error of their ways”, they want to slide right in and attempt to ‘be friends” while secretly hoping for reconciliation.

They don’t know what they want

Men are Notorious for this transgression. Sorry fellas but I must call a spade a spade. This transgression occurs because ever since the breakup, your ex isn’t sure if they want to be with you or not, so they try to hang around, engage in ex-sex, “build a friendship”, and hope that they can finally break through your barrier and get back to their #1 spot.

I have been vicious in the past to Pop-ups. I personally cannot be bothered by an ex’s ulterior motives and blatant disrespect and disregard for the new life I’ve made for myself. You should feel the same. Unite with me in the fight to block pop-ups from spamming out life and infecting us with their indecision, lurkyness, and mediocre advances!

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What other reasons do Pop-ups occur? Have you been a pop-up? Please help me understand and let’s discuss

Comment(65)

  1. And I thought the blog post was about having a hard on all of a sudden and you are in public, you know 'pop-up'. and you have to find a way to hide it.

    That could happen when you are out with your side piece/jump off/wifey and you grab their butt… and then get a pop-up.

    Just sayin. NOt trying to be a perv about it…

  2. Pop ups are the story of my life…one poked me on fb recently (weird cause he had been on my mind a lot…this scares me)…the other was married to the woman he choose over me & is now unhappy…i think i told him off good enough cause he hasn't popped up in a while.

    I hate them…i'm generally not one but typically, i don't do what constituted the reason for us ending…*shrug*…if i am the reason, i apologize & try to make amends but if it's a long time, i try to just stay away.

    Good post!

  3. Great post!!!

    I have to say, yes, *raises hand slowly* I am guilty as charged for being a pop up *bows head in shame* until someone deaded me, so after that I never did it again. I felt dumb, ignorant, stupid, and immature…

    I think we've all had our fare share of pop ups, and like you say, always when everything is going good in your life. Like you say, they always, ALWAYS pop up when you're doing so good, and then they want you to reminisce on the good old times, but they always tend to forget the bad times either or put each other through…

  4. pop-ups? hate em. i've had an ex pop up because the grass wasn't so green. me being the gullible one that i was, i listened to the lies and eventually back slid.

    now the whole common friends thing is another beast in itself. especially when battle lines are drawn between friends and/or former friends.

  5. If this reason was mentioned in other words and it just UFO'd over my head without me noticing it, I'll say pop ups happen because they can and because they know it will FXCK UP YOUR DAY!

    Amazingly, *thinks long and hard* I've been a pop up BUT check it. Going through my xanga [journal, blog, whatever you wanna call it] back when I was like 14-16, I aired out this little boy who wronged me. Talking about he needs me to do something about a gunshot or a stabbing he was about to inflict upon himself or something along those lines. (Who really remembers such foolery? Anyway…) So long story short we stopped talking back then and I ran across his sn a few years later. Hit him up. Why? because I can! And I wanted to run the memory across him too and fxck up his day like he did mine when he was a pop up. Ehh. I'm over that movement now. I live on. Pop up free. For now. Thank you Spy- and Adware.

  6. Oh! And the pop up that happened to me was about *counts on fingers* 5 months ago thru MY LITTLE SISTER'S FORMSPRING. (why is that all in caps…?) Ex asked about ME through HER FS. And she told me later then we spoke. Things are going fine with me, downhill, mudslide edition with him. I used to make his day but those times are long GONE. Smh..

    And another pop up, back when I had no kinda firewall and spyware protection, the 1st came back on some "I need you to come see me. I'll pay for your ticket. You won't have to see anyone else but me." And I was the hurt, scorned asshole talking about "But I have people i WANT to see… You weren't on that list. Plus, I'm engaged and pregnant." ( a lie hehe)

    Pop ups, be gone.

  7. I hate it when they hit you with that "Fire & Desire" pop-up. If you know the song, you get the gist. That "Remember when I used to . . . That's what I used to do . . . " mess. No, I don't want to reminisce about the good ol days. No, I don't want to hear how you've become a better man for your current woman thanks to me. Don't nobody wanna hear that sh*t, lol.

  8. Yess, pop-ups. Several years ago, a week before I was to marry my ex……my, first love popped up over my grandmother's house straight outta prison…..wanted to know where I was, how I was doing….my grandmother being the G that she is….told him "oh, she getting married next week"..grandma never liked him anyway…I learn about it months later….which was fine. I was very happily married.

    This other dude I used to be in love with back in the day…..called me on my job….while I was sitting at my desk fat and 8 mths pregnant….talking about he found my number while he was moving…how am I doing…I said…married and pregnant…and you? LOL.

    After my divorce my convict ex pops up again…he is still popping up…he's unhappily married with twins….separated from his wife, calling me to vent all the time…I just listen, and try to be a friend..but, he asks about my dating life….I know if I allowed him…he would try to hit….but, I'm not trying to go there…..my feelings aren't that for him anymore….

    Final point: Pop ups can be harmless…if you are truly over them….if not, keep your distance.

    1. Shout out to Grandmoms for keeping it trill. Not only did she tell him that you're bout to get married and that he should basically… buzz off, but, she also didn't tell you about the pop-up till months later. That's wisdom right there. There's no room from extra emotions on your wedding day. She understood that the main goal was to get you down the isle. Grandmothers are irreplacable.

    2. Final point: Pop ups can be harmless…if you are truly over them….if not, keep your distance.

      ^^^Truth!

      And go granny! None of mine know my grandmothers but do know some of my friends…but friends don't always keep it as trill as your grandmother!

    3. I dont know about harmless all the time T.

      They can try to position themselves to ruin anything new you have or try to sway things in their favor. Over them or not, it'll pose some difficulty

      Your Gma is a G!

  9. I have popped up to. I used to pop up alot on this one particular dude..the one who called my job in the previous post….I would call him when my ex and I (before we were married) were just in the early years of dating….and we had problems or anything..I would page the other guy (no cells then – lol) and he would always call back….he was in a relationship, had a kid, but our connection was strong over many years…he would let me pop up on him all the time…then finally when I got married and was really happy…we lost touch..then he called the office and I knew then I was over him….sometime, a pop-up can allow you to see how truly content and happy you really are without them…..

    1. "sometime, a pop-up can allow you to see how truly content and happy you really are without them"

      *stomps hands and claps feet*

      Let the church say amen!

  10. The term pop-up sounds so dirty lol. I still keep in touch with my exes because I genuinely care about their well being (ex-sex) and want to see them progress.

    My first love is (happily) pregnant and enjoying her life with her new hubby and I don't want anything from her but to see how she and the baby is doing.

    I guess the difference b/t being a "pop-up" and a friend is the intention.

  11. I've never had a dude pop up after he left (I wonder if this says something about me?) so I will invoke the words of my <del>slightly over-rated</del> great countryman to sum up my feelings on the subject:

    "I hate getting messages from you
    It's like you know the perfect shit to say
    fcuks up my whole day
    thought that all these feelings went away

    I hate getting messages from you
    especially when you say you should’ve stayed
    fcuks up my whole day
    I thought that all these feelings went away

    I hate the sh!t you do"

    Sing it in a whiny emo voice and you've got all you need.

  12. death to the pop-ups!

    I have a guy who isn't even my ex who pops up like CRAZY.

    Graduating from school, or just saying "hello"- gchat convo.

    Happy Facebook status- text.

    Broke up with a boyfriend- phone call. I mean like seconds after it occurs.

    ugh. I blame it on mutual friends.

  13. Hm… pop-ups… I have one. He did me soooooo wrong that it cracks me that he has the audacity to even pop-up. He is guilty of all three of those pop-up reasons.

    1. He heard I was doing FABULOUS through the grapevine that is facebook.

    2. Oh… the grass was greener on 2 other lawns, not to mention he fertilized them at the same time.

    3. He most definitely doesn't know what he wants, not that it is of any concern to me b/c I dont gibbadamb. When we were 'together' (I hate to even admit that) he talked about his hoodrat reform and how he was happy to be w/ someone who wanted more. However, those lawns he was fertilizing… yea… definitely hood & who is he dating now? Hood chicks.

    Whomps to him. Everytime I get a message from him in my FB inbox that says "I miss you" or "[email protected] girl… you need to come back to me" I shudder. Ugh. He really thinks it would be okay for me to go back. & his idiocy draws me into what is envitably an argument w/ him.

  14. Lawd you are channeling me. I am experiencing this right now, at this very moment on my IM. Dude is relentless. I keep saying no but he is bout to get himself blocked.

    Tiffany

    Peace, Love and Chocolate

  15. i'm a notorious recycler, so even though i hate pop-ups, i entertain them more than i should.

    don't judge me

    then somewhere between the 1st rekindling climax and the 1st disagreement on some old sh*t we used to disagree on is when i realize the mess i've made

    *reminiscing on past pop-up debacles*

    i'm disgusted at myself just thinking about it

    …smh

    i usually get caught up in the feel good moment of it all and think to myself, "this person had some flaws, but i'm feeling magnanimous right now, perhaps i can help"

    *answers phone call/responds to email/replies to gchat*

    #epicfail

        1. DAMN!!! now $150.00 I can chalk that up to experience and let that go but anything over 500.00???? nawwwww #shakesheadEXTRAhard. We need to find a resolution quick!!!! *justsayin

  16. This really doesn't happen to me. However, I do know that it happens to other people. If someone popping up can ruin your day or mood or throw you off, you're probably not over them yet. In that case, it's good they keep popping up until you deal with that. If you are popping up on someone, I think people need to be more diligent in letting the past be the past.

    People in my past, whenever they try and hit me up with the reminisce, I always hit them with the, "LOL, yeah that was cool. I'm happy we're friends now and able to look back on that." I'm not trying to have a conversation about the past to get riled up.

  17. Hello group, my name is So Flyy, and I have been a pop-up. *hangs head in shame*

    I only did it to one ex… and I can't say I did it for any of the reasons listed. I don't even know if it is truly classified as a pop-up b/c by Streetzapedia a pop-up happens when the other person is experiencing times of prosperity. I typically would 'pop-up' on this ex when he was down & out. LOL. I was tryna help… plus I missed him. BUT he's given up on black girls so there is no hope of reconciliation there…

    I'm been pop-up free for almost 8 months now.

    1. Dang!

      @SoFlyy

      Your pop-up-persistance done chased old boy to the other side. You must have sprinkled some "black-woman-drama" sprinkles on top to fuk him up that bad, lol.

      I commend you on being able to admit this tho SoFlyy.

      As a guy, I am waaayyy to stubbon to ever be a pop-up. But I havent been a pop-up to my last ex (who was the only cutiepie that I have ever loved) because I know that my interacting wit her would f*ck her all up in the game. I also know that I would be speaking a lot of groovy ish and feeding her dreams and painting pictures of things that 'could be', even tho I know that I am not truly interested in putting in the effort to provide those things.

      But there is something about the safety, comfort and warmth of cutty that you had in the past, especially when you know she was faithful, loving and totally into you. Sounds like I am still into her a little bit?? LOL. Clearly I am, but its only because I havent found a suitable or BETTER replacement. THe search committee continues…

      The dude Fabolous said it best, "The entree is not as good without something on the side". But I have also come to realize that the sides arent as good..without the entree. *sigh*

      1. Lmao @KautiousNupe it wasn't my pop-ups per se… he was already straddling the fence. His physical preference has been latina women for years. Plus I remember when we first started dating he said "You're doing this… not just for me or you, but for your race. If this doesn't work, there will be no more black girls." Besides, I don't have black woman drama.

        1. "You’re doing this… not just for me or you, but for your race." #WTH…

          No papi did not try to make you feel like you were the Harriet Tubman of Interracial Dating….. *bbm talk to the hand

          But I'm curious to know why did he feel that you were helping your race? O__o

        2. When you said…going to the other side, I thought you meant the precious, pleasent, beautiful, god-sent being know as White Women.

          {ducking down, and dodging the e-punches from the various black and brown women on in the thread}

          I was just joking yall! 🙂

          If he is dating a latina women, he aint cross over to the other side…he just went around the corner.

          Now if he's dating a woman of Central American decent, El Salvadorian, Costa Rican, Honduran..thats a slightly differrent story.

        3. @SaneN85 I know… I had to get it through my head why I broke up w/ him so that I wouldn't pop-up anymore.

          @GirlSixx I wish it was an interracial relationship. This dude was just as black as me, he's from Baltimore. LOL. He'd dated a number of black and spanish women before, I guess he felt like he related better to the Spanish women? Or maybe it's just a physical thing? Our break-up really had nothing to do w/ the way we related… it was his internal issues. LOL.

          @KautiousNupe I don't think it matters where his latina femme comes from… she could be all of the above as long as she a) speaks spanish b) long hair c) has a light olive skin complexion. He'd be in love w/ his nose WIDE open.

  18. My ex-husband has been doing the pop-up for months. Despite telling him that we'll never be more than friends (if that), he still thinks that I am pining away over him. Ummm, no.

    There's another one who will decide to hit me up everytime he sees me out and about, knowing damn well the hold he has on me. Luckily, the last few months have seen that hold loosen up quite a bit and I haven't given in to those "pop-ups".

    Another reason is that people want to see what kind of control they have over others. Bastids.

    1. "knowing damn well the hold he has on me."

      *logs onto Adam&Eve and orders (1) Rabbit and (1) "neck massager" for Sane*

      :0)

    1. They always try to guilt you with some comment like, "Let's see the devil stop this!" or "If you're not ashamed of the Lord Jesus Christ, you'll forward this to everyone in your distribution list at work." Negro please.

  19. I'm glad I found this blog, It's hilarious (and a great way to procrastinate at work). I've never been a pop up. If a relationship is done, then it's done for a reason (keep it moving/too many fish in the sea). I do however have some pop ups and they are the most irritating people on earth. I try to be polite in my responses but they obviously don't get the hint and I'm starting to think that my ex's/ex-boos have waaay too much access to me. Sending emails to my job, tweeting me, then when I don't respond to the tweets, bbm'ing me/ inviting themselves on my daily runs?! Really?! Get a clue.

    1. Welcome!

      Are you responding and/or encouraging these (wo)men*? Even if you are only responding in a platonic manner, some will interpret it any way they want.

      *There is nothing gender specific in your post

      1. I'm a female and I'm most definitely NOT encouraging any male or female pop ups in their endeavour to make anyone else's life a misery 🙂

  20. I don't know if this qualifies technically as a popup, because this old jumpoff isn't trying to get back with me (she knows better). But this one chick tried to make my life a living hell for almost a year by trying to pin a baby on me. Once I had a DNA test done (the best $375 I've ever spent), I completely cut all communication.

    I never wanted to see her again, but I am always running into this chick. I took a test for my job at a place that does testing for different fields. She happens to be there taking a test to be a substitute teacher. I work part-time at a gym, and I walk in one day and she's in the community room having a birthday party for my "son" there. She's always randomly popping up at gas stations, grocery stores, malls, etc. I want to believe it’s coincidence, but I live in one of the 25 largest cities in the US, how can I keep bumping into her?

    But like Dr. J, I don’t believe I’ve actually had a popup as Streetz defined it.

  21. I agree with you. We must do everthing we can to stomp out this evil menace as quickly as possible!!!!!! No I have never been a pop-up!!!! All my exes are exes for a reason. It's horrible. You heal sufficiently and here they come. Have I backslid inthe past? Yes, but I'm better now.

  22. All of my exes have been pop-ups, LOL. Two still are….

    BUT, they don't ruin my day or week….when we break up, it's a wrap………………………..

    EXCEPT this last one (none of the aforementioned applies to him)…he popped up after 5 months (life going GREAT) , we got back together…just ended it again back in July, he pops up again, some ex-sex, dead him again. Pops up again yesterday….not going back this time.

  23. Excellent post. I've had a few pop-ups as well. Currently trying to get rid of one. I like to call him "my bad habit". But this also sounds like Drake's message in his song " Messages". Love the blog btw 😉

  24. ohhh how i hate "pop-ups" i never understood the concept of persistently insisting on being in someones life when you know youve caused them so much pain … ive only been with one man so i havent had much of an experience with it but my ex has definitely been a pop-up and i know when he will pop it. its a sense a woman has but i think once its over you take youre good memories and move on

  25. Every week my ex would call with a "'memba that time?" phone call. At first it was cool, 'cause it was easier to get over the breakup, but over time I realized that he kept rehashing the same old experiences and I was ready to make new ones…With someone else. I stopped answering my home phone/cell phone then he remembered that my work phone doesn't have caller id, so he would call me there. Driving by my house while I was washing my car. Poppin' up in places that I frequent. Three weeks ago, I sent him a very "stern" email to stop calling me. So far he has complied.

    In this case, he wanted the best of both worlds. He wanted to date skanks and cluckers and then call me for moral, professional, and spiritual support. Nah. That's ok. You do you boo-boo.

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