Where? There.


With enough persistence, a guy can talk his girl into just about anything in between the sheets.  It’s no secret that it’s not that women won’t do certain things in bed, it’s just that she has to feel comfortable with the person she’s doing it with.  The right guy can have a woman doing all kinds of nasty things she felt were taboo in the past.  They add these new tricks to their repertoires and with enough practice they can become second nature.  On the contrary, backdoor requests are not even in the question.  Not even Jesus could probably help most guys talk a woman into this…although I’m not too sure he’d even be willing throw up the ally on this one.  Most women actually have a firm backdoor policy that reads something like this:

Do not ever entertain the thought of the possibility of you coming through the back door.  In no way, shape or form is your wang, finger, or any type of “bedroom toy” ever to be in the vicinity of that orifice.  Under no circumstances should you ever misconstrue or confuse anything I say or do to mean that I wish for this type of activity to occur.  Moreover, 4 or more “wrong hole” incidents during a sexual act is sufficient grounds for termination of said sexual act.  Persistent “wrong hole” incidents are grounds for suspension and/or termination of sexual privileges.

A few moons ago I wrote a post giving the top 5 reasons why a woman should ingest man fertilizer, and I think a may have been able to get some women on the favorable side of the fence.  To be fair, there’s a hell of a lot more that could go wrong during backdoor activity than with swallowing, but f*ck it, you only live once, right?  There’s probably not five good reasons why you should try this, but I could probably give you two good ones:

See Also:  When is it OK to Deny Him S*x?

F*ck it…why not?

If you’re already thinking about it, you might as well go for it.  You may find out it’s the thrill in life you’ve been missing, or you may decide it’s not your thing.  Either way, the issue will be resolved and your curiosity will be cured.  Think of it as at least one instance where curiosity won’t actually kill the cat. A lot of you probably won’t admit it, but behind closed doors not only do you not mind having a finger slipped back there every now and then, you actually rather enjoy it.  So stop being a chicken why not give it a shot?


If you’re a demanding woman in bed, it’s only fair you at least entertain this request if submitted.  Without giving your sex slave partner some incentive, you’ll turn sexy time into a chore instead of the excellent adventure it should be.  If he constantly gives, it’s only fair you should do a little extra taking.  A selfless partner should be rewarded, and if he really wants to try it, you might as well meet him halfway.

Many women make the argument that if it’s so much fun, maybe their man should let them try it on them.  Let’s be realistic for a second.  Besides the fact that some serious questions need be answered if that ever went down, just think about it…would you actually respect your man if he let you do that to him?  Look ladies, we know life isn’t a porno, we know you ain’t no ho, and we’re aware of the fact that it could possibly painful.  I’m definitely not advocating you try this with everybody, because after all, this is risky business…unless you got a sex tape coming out.  If you’re planning on dropping a Kardashian-esque sex tape, you may want to try something new to help you stand out.  These things are starting to get boring.  This is definitely something that you do with a trusted partner or for $1200 a scene. The reality is, you may actually give in to this request just find out that your man may not care for it that much either.  A lot of guys just want to be able to say they did it see what all the hype is about.

See Also:  "Too Freaky for Me": SBM Answers

{Insert probing questions and witty ending here}

The Redskins suck,



  1. Lol….

    Oh the back door policy…. always a touchy subject… they say don't knock it until you try it right? *shrugs*

    I just don't feel comfortable. I mean I didn't feel comfortable when the ex asked me to put the beads up in him what makes you think I'll be comfortable with them being in me?

    Yeah Ima knock it…

      1. Yeah beads…. started with that and ended up with a whole toy…

        *shivers* I think back and I'm like wow, I stuck around after that? He's not on the DL I know that for sure, but maybe I did turned him out a bit lol

  2. All i will say is that before requesting to do such an act, be sure to look up how to properly do it…#thatisall

    I giggled at this post!

  3. @Lola, beads? Oh, right, you said your "EX". Good.

    The only back door policy that I have, is that it only goes down for that one VIP. Sorry guys, that spot is already occupied.

    I used to turn my nose up at such a thought. I mean, who would have the audacity to ask such a thing of a LADY!

    And then I tried it with my long term bf.

    So, all that I can say is lose the policy, grab lots of lube, relax your muscles and enjoy.

    1. Yes dear, beads… then… it moved on up to more "pro" things…

      We used to experiment a lot, we loved going on the bunny slopes and experimented, a whole lot… but after that I was like uh-uh… no more for me…

  4. I think it's a generational thing. I'm quite a bit older than your average readership and I love [email protected] sex. Most of my girlfriends have also at least tried it and a few like it as much as I do.

    Of course it goes without saying that it has to be the right person and he can't have a enormous thing but otherwise it's one of the best [email protected] you can have.

    By the way, love the blog. I'm a regular reader but I'm the queen of tmi (as you can see) which is why I never comment but I was waiting for the [email protected] sex topic to rear it's head again so I could throw out my two cents.

    1. "Of course it goes without saying that it has to be the right person and he can’t have a enormous thing but otherwise it’s one of the best [email protected] you can have. "

      What she said…done properly its the business!

    2. Welcome! Also, we can all be a little loose with the TMI, so don't feel too shy.

      Also, congratulations on loving the anal, it seems like a special skill set. 🙂

      1. Thanks for the welcome. Hopefully I will continue to add to future discussions but being in Cali and my day not really kicking in until mid morning, all the interesting conversations have already taken place by the time I get back in the morning. It's always a pleasure though.

    1. I'ma hitch my wagon to this thread…it's great, if you've never tried it…well, my condolencesfor your wack sex life and poor husband

  5. Haha. Oh boy. Well, a lot of people start out as "I'll never"s and I was one. Was. Tried it once. Did it twice. Came back for a third. All three times were interesting and as good as in the Jay. It's a damn good experience. Been 2 fahking a while since I've went back (hehe) only because once women open their minds and asses to anal, guys close theirs. So I was stuck with those that are still "I'll never"s. So yeah. Try everything once. *crosses booty entrances off list*

    Oh and please use lube. For your sake. Anyone who says they DON'T, is a f*cking idiot and a liar. Your @ss will bleed. Sorry for the image.

    I say what what.

  6. There's very few things I'll know off rip I won't like. Oysters being one. Chitlins being another.

    But I come from the school of, don't speak so definitively against it if you've never tried it.

    I did it with the ex, crossed it off my list. It ain't for me. And now I can definitively say, it's gonna take a whole lotta sumthin before I get on that special ride again..

    liquor, lube, pleading, time.. etc..

    been there, done that, bought a postcard. .

    ooh, look at the time.. bagel shop is open..


  7. We back on this again!? LOL

    I have done it a few times….each time is better. I do find some of it pleasurable…its not for everyone…but, ladies you can derive pleasure from it..you just have to stay in the moment…..relax, free your mind and go for it! 😉

    1. I think the guys that write for multiple sites sometimes can't remember which discussions were had on which sites. It never hurts to reopen the discussion though. *shrugs*

        1. Whatcha talking bout, Streetz? I was trying to explain why it might seem like there are similar posts. I'ma just shut up now and go cry in a corner somewhere. #nobodyunderstandsme

  8. LOL I was thinking the same thing Queen T…and we sure are back to this.

    I just hear too many horror stories from my sister who works in the ER about folks coming in with all kinds terrible rectal issues due to the act.

    I vote No on the subject.

    1. that is putting a GIANT ring on it territory.

      #U Betta Tell Em… *humph*

      That's the only time I tried it, when I was the MRS… now that I am single again the only thing that is going back there is YOUR TONGUE and/or FINGER that's it.

      (You see I know how to compromise a little.) 😉


        1. Don't see that happening, that topic will die a SWIFT DEATH!!


          I seriously doubt the SBM males would be willing to admit enjoying the acquired taste for That Other Box.. #justsayin

          The only comment will probably be CHeekZ: "I like to put my face in it and suffocate myself."


  9. It early enough. I will throw this out there. Back door sheezies feel better than your gushygushgoo hole.

    Its the angle. I can go st8 instead of having to go down and ben my knees and you get more feeling of the booty bouncing against your hips instead of all up on your abs.

    Plus its hot to have a chick rubbing herself while you go ham in the arse.

    1. yeah I didn't want to OD. But what the hell friday is for oversharing word to max.

      I am into bu worship. I love that thing you sit on every day. I like them big and bubbly. Small is cute too as long as it comes out (no flat butts EVER).

      I like to put my face in it and suffocate myself.

  10. This post and comments are hilarious… remember that episode in Boondocks where they show why Tom is scared of going to jail? Well I am that way too p0rn ruined me on a lot of things. I am scarred for life! So yes that lil policy up there stands for me. And that act should I ever change my mind would be with EMTs standing by… jk but no I'm good. It is hard enough as it is to get an [email protected], let alone a steady amazing piece of beef … hmmm TMI so that is a no for me… that hole is one way only!

  11. I guess I just don't get the "In only gonna do certain acts when I'm married' mentality. If you are making the conscious adult decision to partake in the hanky panky why all of the contingencies? 'you can bang it out but only missionary' …'we can kiss but no tounge-that's nasty' …how does this encourage someone to believe that all of their needs will be met by staying with you? On to the next one. This isn't to say that a person should do things they are not comfortable with just that it pays to be with someone who's drive and appetite is similar to yours cuz chuck what you heard sex is important in a relationship and being unsatisfied in any area of a relationship will turn to resentment, anger and outside activities.

    1. It's simple really… it's something I'm not comfortable doing. Hell I'm barely comfortable talking about it. However, if I am going to take that risk then for me it will be w/ someone with whom I trust w/ my life and have no holds barred… my hubbie/long-term partner.

  12. Like Most and Tunde, I don't have much to say on the topic. I've already shared that I've been there and done that with the ex. I would never use the word love (or even like) in regards to anal, but it's not that bad. *shrugs* If it's something your SO wants, then I see no harm in pleasing him. That said, it would have to be someone who I'm in a longggg term relationship with and that comfortable with. That ring doesn't guarantee anything, ladies, so that should hardly be the one criteria.

    Okay, maybe I had a little more to say than those two. 🙂

    1. I imagine your back side is all juicy and firm.


      that is why I love Sane. She would let me do all kinds of things while she , just to put a smile on my face. What a woman.

      I bet you got a smooth but too, just perfect. No Chippy D speed bumps.

      1. And this is why I love you, CHeeKZ. I feel like I should be offended, but usually end up flattered by your comments. Yes, I'm a pretty open-minded person (I'd like to think, at least) and if it doesn't risk my health or completley disgust me, I'm down to at least try. FTR, I've never had anything but compliments on my behind. 🙂

  13. If you get a message that says, my comment is in moderation. The staff is aware. To avoid having your comment go to moderation, meaning someone has to approve it. No cursing, or dirty language. In other words, "ASTERISK"!

    E.g., p*nis, p0rn, a*s, etc.

  14. seems like yall done said it all. bravo. WRITE THIS DOWN: in a pinch, if you dont have lube on deck…use OLIVE OIL. "it aint just for cookin'. seriously…the stuff works. 3 glasses of wine (maybe 4?), a lot of lube, some patience, and some #nastygirlambition…get it poppin.

      1. actually…your right. oil will eat through a condom. but youre wrong about the situation in which I would say use oil. in a monagamous relationship…are you really gonna put a condom on? with wifey? lets be real.

        1. Not wearing one is really asking for it. Anuses are just not the same as vaginas. They aren't self cleaning and all the enemas in the world just don't take away certain bacteria. Would you sh*t in a toilet and stick your peni$ in it? No, because that would be nasty.

    1. co-sign.

      little known fact that use cooking oil on alot of pornye shoots b/c its more digestable during your typical ATM scene.

      Word to Cam’ron and Vado. Having you speaking in Tongue HUH?

      Plus you can use the cooking oil as a lotion.

      Word to Big Greazzy Ghetto Bootys Vol 3.

    2. co-sign.

      little known fact that use cooking oil on alot of p0rnye shoots b/c its more digestable during your typical ATM scene.

      Word to Cam’ron and Vado.

      Plus you can use the cooking oil as a lotion.

      Word to Big Greazzy Ghetto B00tys Vol 3.

  15. @ Malia….HAPPY FRIDAY TO YOU SWEETHEART. Im somewhat understanding about the distinct differences between the "V" and the "A". I dig what you sayin…however comma…situations like anal sex, lets just say I clean the area thoroughly…(in theory) call me nasty if you should choose to do. in that case, its a lot of nasty folks who aint admittin' it. #justsayin

  16. um I feel so naughty saying this on here, but….

    I enjoy it. There I said it. lol

    I agree every man wont get access to this act but if you know what you're doing and can be gentle with it, Let's Do It!

  17. Wow! So this is my first venture on this site and my first comment. I think I'm probably the most inexperienced reader here. I've only been with one man, my current husband, who is years more experienced than I am. I've sworn off anal play with him because I find it unsanitary…I actually have these hellish fantasies of having a bowel movement during. He already knows that he'll only get in there with a handful of roofies and a Bottle of lube.

  18. I kno I'm hella late to this but I got a question…

    Im from the 'try everything multiple times just to make sure I don't like it school' so I've made a couple of attempts at anal (ie insertion & a couple of pumps)… I don't hate it but can anybody give me some tips to make it more enjoyable? Besides more Hen & lube….


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get SBM Delivered

Get SBM Delivered

Single Black Male provides dating and relationship
advice for today's single looking for love

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This