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Are Black Women Racists Towards Latinas?

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Late at night when all the world is sleeping, I stay up and think of you... OH my bad, I didn't know you guys were reading this today.

***Dr. J’s note***Tomorrow’s my birthday.***

I’m not going to waste a lot of time rehashing points that we all know to be true.  Black women do not like white women stealing their men.  They don’t like it one bit.  Black women have put in significant amounts of work towards supporting their men despite jail, drugs and unemployment.  They don’t appreciate it when their men run off with the “oppressor.”  Therefore and moreover, Black women think that Black men know this and instead of dating white women date Latinas and Asian women.  But in summary, Black women believe that their men want the light skin, light eyes and the straight hair and that’s why they date Latinas.

(The previous paragraph is known as, “The Jill Scott Wince.”)

I’m not going to even lie to you, the Black male dating pool is shot.  Many Black men are in fact in jail or in a life of crime.  The number of “educated” Black women largely outnumbers the amount of “educated” Black men.  Black women love them some brothers so they are aggressive and protective of their men.  If there are six Black women for every one qualified Black male, then when half of those Black men are dating Latinas, there are now twelve Black women for every qualified Black male.  Desperate times, call for desperate measures.

See Also:  More Black Men Are Looking for Long Term Relationships Than Black Women

Racist Black women attack Latinas on everything.  They attack them on, intellect, language, looks, and even how they treat their men.  I’ve been told that Black men only date Latinas because they have an accent and don’t speak English well.  I would be lying if I didn’t hear a man brag about that every now and then.  But there is nothing that a Latina can do to change that.  If a man finds her accent to be cute and that’s why he is with her, trust me, it will not last.  Furthermore, we can spend hours discussing if people living in the United States whose first language is not English, would rather not speak English or would enjoy the opportunity to learn English better.  I choose the latter.

Some Black women believe that Latinas get men because they have straight hair, lighter skin, or lighter eyes.  That’s just ridiculous… Latinas come in every size, shape, color, and texture possible.  However, and this is really important that we understand this point, we cannot, will not, condone the judgment or the characterization of people based solely on their looks.  It’s dangerous territory for any Black person to be operating under those misconceptions.  And so I’m going to have to raise a card on this one too and say that Black women are guilty of this one too.

See Also:  Are Non-Threatening Women More Attractive to Women?

Have you ever heard this?  “Only a Black woman can love a Black man the way he needs to be loved.  Because only a Black person knows what it means to be Black in this world.”  Once again attacking someone’s intelligence, attacking someone’s ability to understand, and further separating people of color in America.  I don’t like that claim one bit!  My parents taught me what it meant to be a Black man, and they also taught me how to stand on my own two feet and be Black man.  I’m sorry I do not need my woman to help me, or teach me, or inform me, what being Black in this world is about.

The last thing I’m going to touch on is the belief that all Latinas want from Black men is money and sex.  Well, we can take money out of the equation, because we make far less than some other races.  Maybe more than Latin men, but certainly less than white or Asian Americans.  The sex, Black sexuality is such a touchy subject.  It’s offensive to Black men when you reduce a woman’s attraction to us to just sex.  Black men don’t need Black women to tell them that some women outside of their race only wants them for sex.  And it’s racist towards Latinas to accuse them of trying to make Black men into their Big Black Buck.

See Also:  Name-Based Racism and Discrimination is Real

One of the things I always like to bring up is that Latinas aren’t approaching Black men.  Black men are approaching Latinas.  I think when a Black woman finds that her hate has been displaced on a Latina, she might want to look inside the organization first.  No offense, but a person looks so silly when they’re defending someone who isn’t defending themselves… willing to fight for something that isn’t interested in fighting for themselves.  Ladies let me tell you something, Latinas are not heroin or crack cocaine, you are not saving Black men from themselves by refusing to let them date Latinas.  It’s just a woman; it’s who he might fall in love with, it’s who he might be attracted to, it’s who he might choose to marry.  Stop coming up with racist reasons for why a Black man chooses to date a Latina, matter fact, stop worrying about Black men who have chosen to not date you.  Worry about the Black men who want to date you, all others are irrelevant.

Comment(138)

    1. While I'm not in agreeance with Dr. J (with this post, at least), this site has far more than just bash posts (which I'm not sure I'd call this one a "bash post", especially the last two days.

  1. Honestly, i don't care…every man isn't for me & and i'm not for every man…i'll date a Latin male if i meet one that fits what i'm looking for, so who am i to pass judgment? #shrug #thatisall

  2. I feel like this post is a big #shotsfired at black women in general. It's like you're telling black women not to generalize and stereotype, yet doing the same in regards to black women.

    I love me some latinas, then again… I am one. #shrugs

      1. It's a few weeks old, but trust me, compliments have no statute of limitations. Thank you!

        SN: I hope married life is treating you well and you're past the morning sickness. 🙂

  3. Didn't we just talk about this recently? I don't have anything more to add…its kinda wearing me out. lol..but, Happy Birthday! 🙂

    1. Of course! Thank you for stating again. I am a "latina" by ethnicity (although I hate that word) and by race Black. I believe that there are only two races, Black and White. Where I'm from most women who would be placed under the pan ethnic umbrella of Latina despite national origin look more like Whoopie Goldberg than Jennifer Lopez(an extreme example, but you get the idea). I didn't meet light complexioned Latinos until I moved to the South. Anyway, Black men are Black men, and as a "Latina" that's all I date whether they be traditional African American, West Indian (which you know can include Chinese, East Indians, etc), Caribbean Spanish speaking or Caribbean French speaking… I'm on a mission to stop showing us darker complexioned Latinas as maids or "the help" in film.

        1. lmao @ oriental Asian

          The term "Mongoloid" (also Mongolic[1]) is a word used to describe people of East Asian, North Asian, and Native American origin. Its use originated from a variation of the word "Mongol", a people who are considered one of its main proto-populations. (as per wikipedia)

          Basically they are not just the people that deliver your friendly neighborhood chinese food. Indians, chinese, japanese, and all other asians are considered mongolians.

        2. "Race is nothing but a social construct" …been waiting for that…but perception is reality. And race is very much a reality in America. True it's a reality that we created from dust, but we've willed it into existence. And it is very real.

  4. geesh….enough with the divisive posts already! all women dont hate each other…and i personally can care less who the limited pool of black men decide to be with…all i need is 1!

  5. *deep heavy siiiigh*

    First off I don't know where the generalizations of Black women stereotyping or "not permitting" Black men to date Latina/Hispanic women come from (I'm sure there's a story behind this & I'm curious about it). I find it very unfair that you're sort of going in on how Black women don't agree with Black men dating Latinas. I'm very aware that some Black women tend to be bitter about Black men dating women that are non-Black, but as you say stated, why defend something that doesn't want to be defended. Pretty much what I want to know is: why are you going so hard at defending Latina/Hispanic women? If your preference is to date Latina/Hispanic women then do so and defend the fact that you like to date them. To defend them the way you are I'd think you yourself were a Latina/Hispanic woman.

    1. "Pretty much what I want to know is: why are you going so hard at defending Latina/Hispanic women? If your preference is to date Latina/Hispanic women then do so and defend the fact that you like to date them. To defend them the way you are I’d think you yourself were a Latina/Hispanic woman."

      all of this. ALL.OF.THIS. you said that…

  6. Oh and I'm not sure whether you were speaking Latina women of Hispanic descent or Latin women of European descent, but Latina women can be Black women also. There are the Zoe Saldana's and Lala Vasquez's who identify as Afro-Latina and are of African descent like many Dominican, Puerto Rican, Hondurian, (etc) people. Although even many of those women don't identify as being of African descent, they are so at the end of the day the only thing that bothers me about that is the denial of heritage, not why they date Black men or why Black men choose them. Keep in mind though that the reason behind why some Black women have issues with this is b/c of the glorification of lighter skin/bi(multi)racial women and even if u don't want to delve into that or acknowledge it, it's present. I don't want to veer off topic, but some of the issues that I'm speaking are truths and have a lot more to do with it than ppl choose to admit.

    Me personally, I don't have an issue with Black men dating non-Black women. Something I'm well aware of though is that the majority of folks have been conditioned and programmed (won't get too into this either), whether ppl admit it or not, it affects their psyche far more than they realize. At the end of the day, date who you date and do what makes you happy. And if Black women hv an issue with Black men dating Latina women, just remember most of em are our distant cousins, (if that's any consolation for the ones that dislike it).

  7. PS- I would've never guessed you were a fellow Libra, happy birfdayyyyy!!! Eat, drink and be merry! In a week and a day I'll be celebrating my born day also! *bbm dancing emoticon*

  8. This is an interesting post…I think a large focus of this post is to address stereotyping. A couple of points-

    With regards to the physical appearance of Latina women: You're absolutely right here, Latina women have a plethora of skin shades, hair textures, and facial features, as do many other ethnicities. But let's keep it 100 here: When someone mentions a Latina woman, I'm pretty sure that most men do think of a man female with fairer skin, more European-like facial features, and curly hair. I mean, it's a stereotype because most of the time it's true lol. And that's fine, if that is your preference. Just acknowledge that that preference is deep-rooted in a history of european-like features fairing off better than african features. so in effect, the next best thing to white, fine. let's just not sit here and pretend though that that's not what's going on here lol.

    next, judging their intellect? that doesn't even make sense to me lol. i have never judged a latino person of their intellect and i don't have girlfriends that do that either, and we're pretty smart folk! lol. i'm not saying that other women don't, but in effect you making this statement is stereotyping black women's perspective on latina women, which to me is the antithesis of this article–aren't we trying to get rid of judgment? loud and clear: not everybody hates! many black women are logical and reasonable and think it is ignorant to make such rash stereotypes.

    and i'll be the one to come out and say it; yes, it is a bit disappointing when you look at the statistics of black men marrying and dating outside of their race in contrast to the black women who do not–this is not specific to latina women. as you so eloquently put, for years, "Black women have put in significant amounts of work towards supporting their men despite jail, drugs and unemployment." so of course we want to reap the rewards of this and start strong black families. i don't call this dividing of the races or separating of the country, i call this pride in our culture and heritage…what's wrong with that? seems to be working out really well for the jews lol…and nobody calls them racist.

    overall i think you're making overly-simplified generalizations about black women's perspectives on latina women for reasons that i am not clear of–perhaps some black men are defensive about dating latina women and that's where all of the anger is coming from lol. i appreciate the discussion however, i think it def needed to be brought to light.

    1. Truthjuice.com- I didn't want to go into it, but there's a bigger picture here that seems to be discounted and "swept under the rug". I'm glad you articulated it the way you did and I couldn't agree with you more.

    2. What you wrote was tha bomb and I was really with you, until the fourth section/paragraph…

      Let's consider everything you said up until:

      i call this pride in our culture and heritage…what’s wrong with that?

      1a. Race DOES NOT equal or determine culture. So it makes ZERO sense to assert that having babies with a black man expands/preserves "black culture" in itself. This all encompassing skin yields culture thing you're implying is the antithesis to your antithesis. But we all make generalizations since it eases communication at times so I won't go in on that aspect. Simply having a baby with a black man doesn't speak anything towards one's pride in one's own heritage or culture. Why? Because even though the commenters on this blog may consider themselves "black" and look similar, many have different heritages and come from cultures. Even more so, even if we all have the same culture our heritages may be different (read: slave trade).

      *takes off gloves*

      Pride?! Pride is a very broad word. I guess you mean cultural pride right? Let's use your statement to prove that Pride is disjoint to racial Prejudice and notions of "disappointment" is a black man's chosen mate implies prejudice.

      Theorem 1:

      It's clear that the author of this blog (Dr. J) was talking about racial prejudices and not exactly truly racism. Proof by Contradiction: Let's assume that Cultural Pride is not disjoint to racial prejudice. It would follow that either one or both of the following statements is true:

      a) Cultural Pride encompasses racial prejudice.

      b) Racial prejudice encompasses cultural pride.

      Lemma 1b: Let's assume racial prejudice encompasses cultural pride. Then it follows that all forms of racial prejudice are demonstrations of cultural pride. Then it would follow that the acts of the KKK and similar groups were justified. So the love for one's own culture is synonymous to the hate of another's race. However love for self doesn't equal hate for another, so acts of hate on another doesn't show oneself love. Therefore, racial prejudice doesn't encompass self love and furthermore only encompasses hate since love requires tolerance and hate does not. Hence, racial prejudice doesn't encompass cultural pride. QED

      Lemma 1a: Let's assume cultural Pride encompasses racial prejudice. Let there be an island inhabited by only one race and one culture. Given that people wish to live and be social, live is made to be enjoyable. Love for the way of life is developed/understood since there only exists one culture and the survival of the culture is hinges on the survival of the people.

    3. Lemma 1a: Let's assume cultural Pride encompasses racial prejudice. Let there be an island inhabited by only one race and one culture. Given that people wish to live and be social, live is made to be enjoyable. Love for the way of life is developed/understood since there only exists one culture and the survival of the culture is hinges on the survival of the people. So love for life and survival is developed without the knowledge of other races. Hence racial prejudice doesn't exists. Hence cultural Pride does not encompasses racial prejudice. QED

      Theorem 1: both lemma 1a and 1b show pride is disjoint from prejudice. QED

      All that to say… "nah ma."

      1. interesting thoughts for sure…althouh i think your logic disseration is a bit abstract for this forum lol, aas lol. but i feel you, race doesn't always equal culture, but it would be trite to state that it doesn't have a contribution to it. there are certainly cultural commonalities amongst people of the same race, without a doubt, no need to deny that. and yea, with regards to 'pride' see the civil rights movement lol. if not for black pride during that time, you probably wouldn't have the logic to make the arguments that you are trying to make today lol. black pride played a heavy part in the upward mobility that we have experienced over the past several decades, and it's what sells the obama story–let's not pretend that if michelle wasn't in that white house, black people would feel the same about our president. you might think that we're all a different culture, but i'm pretty sure the white people you interact with on a daily basis don't see it that way lol. getting back to the point, i think it's great to build wealth within our communities, and i do think laying the foundation with strong black families is the start to that.

  9. His targeted audience was definitely black women. I don't agree with him and that hasn't been my experiences. Black women get the short end of the stick in many, if not most, situations in the dating realm…as a whole.

    I appreciate your opinion; it's just not fact in my world.

  10. it needs a age category. for me i love the latinas every girl friend of mine is hispanic except for 2 so this hate (jealousy) is non-existent. but i do find that the older women are more into only dating inside the race thats what i was talking about age. i work with mostly females around my age. 20-24. we have one older lady in her 40's (white lady)ask me, "y do black women hate when black men are with white women?" i was shocked but i asked her is she interested in a black man and some black lady is pissed? she said no she is married. so im like how the hell you know black women hate white women for being with black men. she says u hear so many stories about it. now i wanna slap her ass for making judgement about black women being angry that black men are with non-black women.

    my point is maybe the older generations are not with ir dating. but with my generation. every1 is doing it its the new thing now. but we are still stereotyped as hating non-black women for dating black men. wth. no one cares. there are soo many sexy men of all races.

  11. i want to add another thing. lol. i love the ir dating. it shows the ignorance is slowly dying away. but what i dont like is when some1 is dating outside the race and bashes their own race of people of being this way or that way.

    example. im gonna use me.(example only)

    i date this hot ass arab guy and bash all the brothers for not being this or that. this is foolishness to me. date who u want because u want them, because the bashing looks like your just settling because u couldn't find what u really wanted

    btw those stats are wrong my brother. in fact there are more black men in college&universities than prison. your stats are like 1995 south cental years. and black children who come from low-income homes score just as high as white children who come from upper mid class homes times have changed. america will not broadcast these new stats. so u gotta dig for them

  12. Black women cannot be racist towards Latinas because Latina/o is NOT a race. Having worked for the census (you have to choose a race (ie. White) then an ethnicity (ie. Hispanic)…you can be Black, White, etc & still be Latina. With that said, I personally don't know any Black females that are prejudiced against Latina females. Coming from a family with Blacks, Puerto Ricans, etc I cannot identify with this phenomena in which u speak of. Idgaf what type of girl anybody dates if it isn't me. I don't differentiate between Blacks and Latinas, and since one can definitely be a Black Latina there wouldn't be any reason to. I'm from NY & all of my female friends are Black & Latina (with a sprinkle of Caucasians). We all date Black men. We all date White Men. We all date Latino men. Maybe this is a geographical thing. There are Black women with light eyes/skin & long hair and there are Latina women with dark skin/eyes & coarse hair. There's such a wide array of colors throughout the Black & Latino community. With that said, jealousy or hate on anyone no matter their background has nothing to do with the hatee (not a real word lol) & it has everything to do with the haters self-esteem. Happy to say I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about on this post. So to answer the question: Are Black Women Racists Towards Latinas? No, not only is it impossible but Black women in general aren't anything because it isn't good to use generalizations!

    1. "So to answer the question: Are Black Women Racists Towards Latinas? No, not only is it impossible but Black women in general aren’t anything because it isn’t good to use generalizations!"

      **I agree completely**

      We have to be real now, I'm a black women and have no problem with "Latinas" dating black men. Were all BLACK!

    2. @Hebrew

      I am also from NYC and I totally identify with your experience. I am Puerto Rican and I am Black. I grew up with in an AA/Latino community in the South Bronx. However, I moved to Illinois two years ago and how we grew up in NY isn't how others grew up. In Chicago, African American women don't consider me black. I tried to connect with both the PR and AA communities out here and its been a disaster on both ends. Most of the PR folks out here consider themselves White — so they look down on my brown skin and thick curly hair. And the AA community thinks I'm White because my color doesn't pass a certain threshold. Many also think I'm Mexican. People actually ask me for my green care after telling them that I'm from PR. Many people out here don't even know that PRs are American — nor can they pinpoint it on a map.

      I'm just venting. Honestly, I'm ready to just come back home. When it comes to diversity and cultural awareness, there is no place like home.

  13. Happy Birthday il Dottore Jay! *blows kisses and air hugs* This explains so much….we can never come to terms because we sit on exact opposite sides of the zodiac, lol.

    As for the post…eh.

    #iseeyoushytstartinforcomments

  14. Lol..Do you guys know that there are latinas who are prejudiced towards black women? Many Hispanics/Latinos are very racist. Twitter has proven this time and time again.

    1. Twitter…please, just go into the Dominican spot and sit your nappy head down into the chair. They will start to talk about your nappy frappy behind pronto and try to fry your hair straight by dragging out a vat of lye! (For some reason that is the light complexion Dominican spot) when I go to the darker Dominican spot, they treat me very nicely.

      Dominican's are racist against one another anyway…then they are racist toward black women.

      Latina's are cool — I have some family members that have married hispanic women, we have some good food during Thanksgiving…but Dr. J is it that DEEP? From reading your blogs and your love for Latina's it is starting to make me think that you are vying for some type of acceptance or understanding from black women as to why you want to date outside of your race. I could be wrong, but that's the vibe that I'm getting and if you want to do that, that's cool too.

      I do not have time to "hate on" hispanic women in general. My oldest son said "I like them, but when they get mad and start to talk that spanish s h I*t they get on my nerves and I don't want to be bothered with them after that, it's mad annoying!" (ha!) He's 16.

      All of this to say, Dr. J, it's OK, we still love you anyway! And happy birthday.

      1. Racism is stupid, really, I am going to hate every fiber of your being because you are pigment challenged? Because your genetics are different from mine?? People do use color as the #1 reason including Puerto Ricans, Dominicans, Whites, Africans, African Americans etc not to like someone.

        Trust and believe, If I don't like someone it sure as hell isn't because of their classification by the government or the color of their skin be it pink, green, beige, brown, or whatever Crayola color you associate yourself with. Technically I am not black if you are using the Crayola System. It is because they got on my fucking nerves! People can be so ugly to other people I can't help their ignorance.

        *kicks soap box to the corner*

  15. Wow.. The Ladies are not feeling you today Good Dr. lol. I understand where you are comign from and feel that you do have valid issues. I stated before that my first love was Latina and best believed side eyes and sly comments were numerous. I do feel its getting better though.

  16. "No offense, but a person looks so silly when they’re defending someone who isn’t defending themselves…"

    Case in point, this post….. What was the point?

  17. I don't know how I feel about this. Being both black and latina I've never been privy to feeling jealous of other latinas, the same way I don't feel jealous of white women. I don't have a problem dating successful "qualified" black men let along men of any race. I'm cool with my dating pool. If I can taste the rainbow- by all means black men- have a skittle 🙂

  18. This post is very funny, but also very true.
    A lot of black women (If not 90% of them) are racist towards White, Latin, Asian or other lighter skinned women. In my opinion the racism comes from jealousy, or maybe envy turned into jealousy. I, being a black women, find that it is degrading women when these women say these things. Not because they are stating how they feel, but because it comes from being jealous of another race. I didn’t raise myself like that, so I sometimes wonder why other black women chose to do so.

    An older black woman once told me that she was having a conversation with a white women, about black men dating inter-racially , she said “Well, any black man who would date a white women…well lets just say I would NEVER date that type of black man” to the woman, and I was so STUNNED! And the worst part is, she thought she said NOTHING wrong, I felt bad for any black man she dates in the future! Cause I don’t know too many MEN who haven’t at least dated outside their race.

    I’m not racist (nor do I feel envy) towards anyone (mainly because I came from an interracial marriage, and my mother Is multiracial.) ; and I feel like these black women give the whole black community a bad name.

    1. correct me if I am wrong.. but the good Doctor is from DC?

      Isn't there something to say about race relations being regional. There isn't a large latina/black divide in New York . In this city I know more black women who don't date black men than I know latin women.

  19. I definitely get where the post is coming from. Absolutely, there are black women who express the sentiments stated here. I have a high-school friend who will literally cross a black man off her list of potential suitors if he's ever dated someone white or Hispanic. And I mean EVER…she searches his archives.

    However, I'll just go ahead and reiterate what every other woman has already stated here…all black women don't feel this way!

    You know what irks me, though? This generalization of an entire group of women. It makes me so uncomfortable that I find myself going out of my way to speak to and smile at mixed-race couples I see out in public, just so they know that not ALL black women are that superficial.

  20. OK, I thought we were going to be 5 for 5 this week, but this post just blew that out the water!

    But, I want to ask, really, what was the point of this post? Or was there a purpose?

    The title itself was off-putting, to say the least. The generalizations in the post were just……

    Just like you said in your last sentence how BW need to "worry about Black men who want to date you, all others are irrelevant", I guess I can say the opposite. DON'T worry about what BW who have something to say about Latinas. If it's irrelevant to you, keep it moving. A man is going to do what a man is going to do, so why do you even care?

    I can't today with this topic really. So now, we're not only racist against WW, it's also Latinas? Thanks! I'll be waiting for the one against Asian women.

    I'm exhausted and I don't even want to think about BM putting us down today. I understand that's not the general vibe of this blog and I really enjoy reading the posts…good or bad. But I'm really not up for the 5,356,224th problem with BW. Not today…..

    I'll holla at you all tomorrow….

    1. "DON’T worry about what BW who have something to say about Latinas. If it’s irrelevant to you, keep it moving."

      Totally in agreement with this.

      The post clearly has us up in arms, but I think we do have to address the fact that some black women do act in the manner he described. There has to be a way for him, and men like him, who choose to date outside of their race, to deal with this response from the "angry black chick". And I think you hit the nail on the head. Just keep it moving. Nobody has to be happy with the decision that you made but you.

    2. "So now, we’re not only racist against WW, it’s also Latinas? Thanks! I’ll be waiting for the one against Asian women."

      #Giggle….

      I have no words in regards to this post because honestly I couldn't care less I WASN'T CHECKIN FOR HIM AND HE WASN'T CHECKIN FOR ME so whateva is clever and cool… *kanyeshrug*

      happy birthday….

  21. Did a black woman (of non-latina descent) break your heart Dr. J? This post is starting to make me wonder.

    This post bothers me on so many levels….and I am a black latina….born in Belize, fair skin, speak spanish, and get PLENTY of love from black men. I do not want to beat a dead horse but I don't appreciate the generalization of your post. It is post like this that make me feel that my little sister who was born here (her father is from Texas and is very dark complexion) should have a chip on her shoulder. THAT IS NOT OK. If you want to date the latin ladies do but don't throw anyone under the bus.

    On another note Happy Birthday! Live it up and be safe!

  22. I think some really solid points were made in this post. Any comments that stir up some sort of a feeling means that there is some truth to them. As a white female who predominantly dates men of color, I get a LOT of nasty looks. I'm a white female with the shape of a non-white girl, and men of color take notice. Some…NOT ALL…but some black women shoot me nasty looks or make snide comments with no real merit. I'm not a bitch, I'm not grouchy, I'm not racist & I'm not rude. There is no need for such an attitude.

    I live in NYC and I see interracial couples ALL the time…a mix of white, black, hispanic, asian, indian and more. I almost NEVER see a black woman with anyone but a black man…perhaps sometimes a hispanic man. For the black women who DO get bent out of shape over what type of women black men choose to date…why not date outside your race?

    If a man didn't want you, would it make more sense to be angry and hateful, or to just simply move on and find someone who DID want you. Whether or not you include race, the answer is the same. Why not find love???

    Instead of the "Only black women know how to love a black man like he needs to be loved…I think what it really comes down to is this: Black women think ONLY a black man can really love them". Any man who is comfortable enough to date outside his race will be open to the differences that come with it.

    There is no reason love should be confined to a box based on color and race. It IS 2010. And rather than being concerned with who is f-cking and who isn't…you should be more focused on who is f-cking YOU. Period. Regardless of gender or race….

    1. I think you should've written this post instead of Dr. J. You are speaking of experience whereas he's speaking form generalizations. I haven't pinpointed ONE personal reference in this blog.

    2. "Black women think ONLY a black man can really love them"

      As a black woman, I can tell you that this is NOT true. Just because you don't see black women dating outside their race does not mean it doesn't happen. It might be less common than black men but it exists in NY.

      I am Jamaican, and I've dated white, black, and latino guys. I don't care if you have a preference for black men, but it is annoying that you expect black women to.

        1. I didn't say it didn't exist, I said I see it much less frequently than I see other mixed couples. There are some…there are ALWAYS exceptions to the rule. I also never said I expect black women to have a preference.

          And I don't have a "preference" per se, it's usually only men of color who approach me. White men almost never hit on me.

  23. Dam Son..(dr. J)

    I thought the days of black people dissing hispanics were done.

    I don't agree with this post, but whatever.

    Either way, HIspanics are good in my book and all those around me. Stop messing with those hoodboogers and you will see black women differently.

    Besides, I thought black women were more accepting of black men dating latinas than any other race.

    bwhwhahahahaha

  24. Someone brought up a very good point. A lot of this stuff is regional. Or cultural. When you live in areas that are not that diverse it's not an issue. I can remember in college me and some friends were sitting around talking about girls and one of my boys from North VA started askin if any of us ever slept with an asian chick. We all busted out laughing and he didn't know why. We were laughing cause their aint no asian chicks where we live.

    I often feel the same way on this blog. The only dudes I know that date latino are my peoples in LA. And it's not that they target latina women. But they don't date black women. They only date white and latina etc.

    The bottom line as I see it is this. You have and will always have two types of black people. Those that are, I would say 90-100% black nationalist, pan african, pro black or whatever you want to call it. These are people that choose to live in black neighborhoods, date black, speak black dialect in the presence of blacks, attend black schools, live in places where blacks control the government. Then there are those that live a more assimilationist life style. Those that live the assimilationist life style tend to date outside their race. And the reasons they date latina are the same reasons they date white or asian etc. etc.

  25. Dunno Why this song popped in my head by Marsha Ambrosius. "I hope She Cheats on You". hehehehe

    "I hope she cheat on you wit' a basketball playa.

    Hope that she Kim Kardashian'ed her way up.

    Don't know the difference 'tween a touchdown and a layup.

    Got you on Viagra in order for you to stay up.

    I may sound bitter, I'm a little bitter, just a little bitter because you were wit' her.

    I'm Salt Lake City, now I'm up on other pitcher."

    Happy Birthday Dr. J! xoxo

  26. Ladies don't get upset; I think Dr. J is playing with your minds for fun lol. Racism comes in all shapes, colors, sizes AND GENDERS! If I remember correctly DR. J IS MARRIED!. . .why would he give a shizzle about what WOMEN do to one another? 2. Ladies don't be fooled, some degreed black men ain't worth sh** !. . Notice I did not say educated; don't get it twisted! A lot of men don't have degrees but they are 'educated', successful and know how to treat their families right. . College is cool but it's not required to be classified as a quality man. My first consulting gig I ran circles around a YALE MBA! Advice date a man who owns his own shiz nit. . . He may not be monied now but he will not fire himself and he won't quit until if makes it! Dating a brother with a JOB? Uhm? J.O.B. (JUST OVER BROKE)! To the degreed bro's with attitude: If you can be fired you ain't sh** yet! Will Smith has no degree! P Diddy has no degree ( I think)! 50 cent for sure has no degree! Jay Z nor Beyonce have degrees! . . . But they are all educated enough to get us to buy their products!. . . Women do LIKE OPRAH. . Focus on ownership. LIKE I said Dr J is laughing at you for kicks (my opinion). .

    1. Honestly, I think most of the blog posts on this site are geared to stir up a lil controversy….

      Funny, it's difficult for me to seriously debate online, but in person…. HMPH!

    2. Jay: "Notice I did not say educated; don’t get it twisted! A lot of men don’t have degrees but they are ‘educated’, successful and know how to treat their families right. . College is cool but it’s not required to be classified as a quality man. My first consulting gig I ran circles around a YALE MBA!"

      This is exactly why I have little regard for pieces of paper handed out by institutions selling "education".

        1. Hey J,

          I'm a Cornell grad. Easy with that foolishness.lol.

          Ain't nobody running circles around me or any of my peoples from school. Don't even get me started on this college thing.

  27. Lol! This post is not to be taken seriously I assume.

    Anywhooo, Happy Birthday! As an aquarius I love all my libras, especially the gentlemen.

  28. If it wasn't for Afro-Latino relations I wouldn't be rockin that Miguel joint right now…..that joint rocks!!!!

    Miguel Jontel Pimentel was born in the San Pedro neighborhood of Los Angeles, California.[1][2] He is one of two sons born to a Mexican father and a black mother.[

  29. I live in the south, south Texas to be clear. I’m from the Caribbean, born from a black & Dominican father and a black & Puerto Rican mother. I have light skin and have been black all my life, UNTIL moving to this area of the country.

    Here, I am the latina dating the black man and it’s crazy because I get all sorts of hate from black women in my community. This hate isn’t just from them however; I get hate from the Hispanics and the other cultures as well. From the Hispanics/Latino’s side I get, “you know you can do better than that”, “where’s that black man going to get you” and from the other side I get, “you’re just another one of those Spanish chicks that can’t leave OUR black men alone”, or “just because your “Spanish” doesn’t mean your any better than me”. I’m not Spanish, but down here, to them I am.

    You have no idea how frustrating it is to deal with this sort of mentality. I love my race, you know the BLACK one! I just can’t understand why there is all of this tearing down of one another.

    Your post asks, are black women racists towards latinas? I don’t believe that they are racists, but SOME of them definitely have a bad attitude, at least from my experience and in my humble opinion.

    1. I, as a black woman, have no animosity toward latin women. The black women I am friends with have no hidden anger toward latin women that date black men either. I don't know, I always thought we were all in the same boat. Finally, l love me some Latin men I mean for real, for real lol. There's something about them that draws me to them that goes beyond the second language aspect and just the passion they embody. With that said I love me some Black men as well…hell, I just love all men, so whatever.

    1. That article was on point! Having lived in DR as a teenager I know all too well the self-hatred that goes on with some Black Latinos. I could go on…but that's another can of worms for another rainy Thursday! lol

  30. A few comments

    #1 – To the people (NightFall – I @ em and Dap em acordingly) who keep commenting about reused, always talked about topics, I guess you werent here this week, or last?

    We have that Facebook page where Right Now We are accepting questions to ask the staff… check it here:

    Page http://goo.gl/5EQj

    #2 I knew this post would bring up the "Why do you always bash women" comments. I give up at this point. SBM is the ultimate social experiment I swear

    #3 Please note the authors of these blogs. My facebook/twitterpage turned into "Passion of the Streetz" real quick cause of the good Dr, and I dont even think ppl actually READ the blog! Yall are comedia!

    #4 Viva la Raza! lol…

  31. Cornell grads…. 🙂 I really don't blame the school. All schools have some almumi you would rather not have representing. I just happen to meet a couple of real wierdos that were reping your school. Honestly I've only see a handful of people get fired at my org and she was one of them.

  32. Good Afternoon Ladies & Gents,
    I am not feeling the honesty right now… To masturbate my mental, would be a black woman reading this blog, to just admit that they have LSE AND it really bothers them when they see a PRIZED black man with someone who is Non-Black… Women like Duncan & that chick from Texas can't be making their experience up…

    In conclusion, when a person is angered by a people of different cultur backgrounds, that is his/her thoughts, his reflection what is going on inside him/her…

    I bet chances are the black men who bw complain about with other races wouldn't even want that particular black man…

    @Jay Us non-degree carry Negroes, can have those college punks eating out of the palm of their hand… #TooEasy

    Keep It %100 My Sistas, And You Are Closer To Love Than You Think

    1. Before accusing the BW here of lying, you should think about your audience. Do you think the BW who read for enjoyment and expansion are the type of close-minded individuals of which the good doctor, Duncan & Texas girl speak?

      I think not.

    2. Ok…..so you used the wrong tense and more than likely an incorrect pronoun. Or maybe that's a saying I'm not familiar with, cuz I guess the more I think about it, it should be impressive to watch someone eat out of the palm of their own hand. Never quite seen that before.

  33. I understand this post.. It does seem like a lot of black women are trying to figure out a reason why "he don't want me." I was talking about a variation of this train of thought the other day..

    Personally, I don't have a problem with Hispanics, or White, or whatever. I'm not running around trying to wonder why he didn't find me attractive. And speaking out so angrily against it only solidifies the "angry black woman" stereotype that we're known for.. I know some men that only want to marry a Caribbean woman. It is what it is.

    There's so many other things I can spend my brain energy on.. Disliking one particular group is not one of them.

    Now, when men put the p*ssy on a pedestal just because it's "exotic".. I have an issue with THAT! but that's not very different from the "she's not fine, she's lightskinned" post that went up

    *shrug*

  34. It seems people often cross racial barriers because they are turned on by some of the differences in our bodies, language or whatever. But I would think that gets old after a while. It's one reason I've never really dated outside my race. I've always felt like OK, yeah it would be a turn on or whatever but at the end of the day wouldn't I be more happy with someone that I have more in common with. What happens when the newness of it wears off. I think in Jungle Fever Snipes put it like this "I was curious about white, you were curious about black." Once that wore off they realized there wasn't much there

    Off Topic: Why can't I take a piece of someone else's post and copy it anymore? Now your system won't let me post when I do that.

  35. @Lex Thanks for the proofread, Guys like you keep me sharp

    @So Flyy Exciting… From the opinion of others I am an intelligent, articulate, left-brained oriented man who is intimate with his own hypocrisies… I am very aware of the female audience… In my past posts, I shown my deep appreciation for, however just because a female is more enlightened, ambitious, intelligent, or whatever barometer you use to measure your quality, you are not excuse from being jealous, thinking "evil" thoughts, being a "hater"… Etcetera, Etcetera… I just respect the male & female that owns her baggage & rises above it… Then the person who just claims "Oh, I'm not that female"… C'mon, again intelligence, enlightenment, doesn't excuse you from basic human emotions…

    So spare me on the audience… #OopsIForgotToProofreadAgain…

    Thanks For The Controversy Dr. J

    1. Please… spare me. So I get cool points for coming in here shouting "Yea… I don't fukc w/ them [garden tools]!!" b/c YOU think that's really how I feel?

      e_O Yea. Aight.

      I'm sure you missed the Latina appreciation posts but lemme catch you up… my best friends are Guatemalan & Ecu-Rican. They date black men. I support. #next

    2. Is it a possibility that they really just are not that female? Most of the men on here say that they are capable of being faithful, and nobody comes in and tries to accuse them of being anything less than honest.

  36. @So Flyy
    I'm slow to believe that just because you read this blog, that you or anybody else on here is open-minded & expansion-thinking… Alot of you "OM" folks are Posers… #I'mDone

    1. @ Adonis well I'm glad you're done b/c I'm just beginning…

      I really don't know where you got the high horse you rode in on but you should really get a refund. I've never excused myself for human emotion just b/c I feel like I'm a 'quality' female – as you put it. As a matter of a fact, I and a lot of the women here always speak on human emotion so I'm sure you ran across that too in your past dalliances. What makes you think you know the BW so well (especially those of us who have commented here today) to say that we are 'fakin' on how we really feel? If I tell you I'm not jealous, what makes you doubt my word? A scuttlebucket you saw guffaw at an interracial couple on the street? A few ABW posts somewhere on the web?

      #cmonson

      1. Check him boo! LOL!

        Certain ignorant comments disgust me so I choose to smh & press on. Glad someone is responding though! 🙂

        1. @HP:

          Girl I tried to ignore but somethings really irk me. I didn't have much to say on the topic all day but call out people for not 'keeping it 100%' when you have no proof otherwise? Yea. Check that at the door.

  37. Why are single black women such a big focus? All these offensive specials via CNN,etc. Are no other race of women single? Are we the only group getting upset with interracial relationships? If memory serves, black women aren't responsible for even outlawing interracial marriage in the first place? Even with it being disproportionate, can we change topics? I respect your opinion and your blog but these views are hardly unique, so unless someone gives actual insight on the topic rather than pointing the finger, I'm over it.

  38. I have never heard of Black women hating on latinas, but I think the issue may arise from the fear that if Black men are loving and pursuing women from other races who does the Black woman have left to pursue her or for her to pursue.

    I think some Black women, because it is not all, attack Latinas because its a easy target. And while we can say Black women can date other races, the statistics remain true that Black women date outside their race at a lower percentage than other races and in comparison to Black men.

    I think a even bigger issue is when the most successful Black men marry outside their race even though they were raised by Black women and may have had a child or children by a Black woman.

    Love the post!

  39. Someone explain this to me…

    In this world of mutts and individuals of multiple heritages, why does it matter the race of someone ELSE'S mate?

    I keep reading, things like: 'oh he was raised by a black woman, so he should marry a black woman.' and 'disappointment.'

    So its a negative thing to marry a woman of another race? Why is judgment placed? Yes, I said judgment and not opinion.

    If dude is walking around stereotyping black women and saying they all have attitudes so then he'll date a woman from another race due to some other stereotypes he has about another race, THEN yes. I would say that's messed up. But if a guy is dating/marrying/smashing a lady of another race (or RACES) b/c he's attracted to her -> period. Then there should be no problem right?!?!?! Where does this notion of "disappointment" comes from? Why is dating outside one's race considered lower than dating someone within the same race? Why must we take on some bastardized superiority complex of taking negativity of someone else dating outside a race? Isn't that bounding? Isn't that kinda slave mentality? Oh massa said he better not see me around his white lily. F*ck that. I do what I want. stay in your race now. Do go be doing all that mixin and caring on… I feel like people got life messed up and you know what… People are the same mentality are the ones who think segregation is heaven sent. How in the world does one agree with de-segregation but only if it doesn't allow for de-segregated dating/marrying/smashing. I wonder if there was a law to prevent interracial dating, how many of you will be like: "Oh. Blacks shouldn't be dating other races anyway." Oh word??!?!? Or are you upset/disappointed at how many men are involved with other races in comparison to women? What does that mean? It means people (not just black men) date across the board. If you don't see that, I betcha people in your circle think the same way you do, birds of a feather. No one is saying ignore women on a certain color. But playa, why you hatin'?

    Do NOT mistake prejudice for loyalty. That is a disservice to all.

    #fin

    1. Lemme preface this comment w/ "I hear everything you are saying and I whole heartedly agree" I just want to give some clarification on a point you made:

      It means people (not just black men) date across the board.

      I think this is where the division comes in b/c a lot of people date across the board but NOT a lot of black women. It's just fact. We (BW) are just beginning to see that opportunity for love lies beyond our racial borders. There are not many of us who have dated outside of our race… for a fact, many of us don't even know "how" to talk to a WM or pigment challenged man. There is still a silent awkwardness that hangs in the air between us and we just beginning to build a bridge. I think that for us the words 'disappontment' come from a frustrated mindset that there are soooo many of 'us' (BW) available & he (the BM) chose to go elsewhere leaving the 1 of us he would have 'eventually' chosen single, yet again.

      Or at least this is my intereptation of it.

  40. Hmm I tried to stay away form this one but…

    Honestly, as a black woman, I thought Latina's were probably the ethnicity we were most cool with dating BM as a whole lol. I've personally dated more Hispanic men than black men in my short lifetime. Someone pointed out geography, and as a native of Miami, I can bachata, salsa, and merengue better than I can do the dougie! (I actually don't know how that dougie dance goes.)

    Here in lies the issue with the whole IR dating scene…IMO:

    [This] never became an issue for me until all I kept hearing was Black men 'going in' on black women, publicly, about some form of "hate" (like this post has done) they have for white and every other race of woman for "stealing" away the BM. I felt as though it was an all out roasting of black women at one point by every other Terrence, Dayshon, and Hakeem who called themselves a comedian, etc in the 90's. <–Which has now lead to the pity parties we see on CNN, etc about the forgotten black woman. We as a community were airing out our "family business" for the world to see. It was as if someone pushed us, black women, out in the rain and locked the doors. No one was there to defend or protect the black woman. "If your own kind doesn't want you, why would you expect me to…" is the message that was being sent to all other races of men when it came to black women being a suitable mate in a relationship for any man. I admit, black women didn't help their cause by vehemently insisting on fighting for the few (or so it seemed) black men that didn't mind loving them and continuously stating how they can only ever love and be with the ever so coveted Black Man. I believe it was never about the white woman, latino, asian, etc….its always been about the black man. I feel if there is hate, its displaced and truly meant for the ones [we] desire the black man. They say its a thin line b/n love and hate…and it really is. Its okay to have a preference, its just not okay to bash, generalize, tear a group of people down [especially your own…you never see that in any other community but the Black communitty] in the name of 'defending' your preference.

    Sn: Am I the only one irked by Essence magazine (besides Melissa Ford, whom I agree with) when they ask the Single guy of the month, "Why he loves black women?". At first I thought it was cool, but now I think it does more of a disservice to BW.

  41. I agree with what Dr. J had to say. As a black man whose dated latinas and black women, it is what it is and has nothing to do with light this or light that, cause Latinas come in difference color from high yella to chocolate just like black women.

  42. I knew it…Dr.J started afire and left the building!! He's a Blar-sonist!!! 🙂 Dam* he's good!!! Got some uh deez peopplez hottar than Fish Grease!!

    @ Adonis…My brotha… F*** the proof reading. Lex was just being Lex…The world ain't no GD perfect place..And since when did BLAC FOKE SPAKE DA KINNGZ ENCLISH?? (See bad grammar is often good 'communication'!!

    @ Adonis .. And heck yea..I've seen college guys get day az' ziz ran like nobodyz biznezz…and yez day eatin not outa their hand but others…They make the most in the organization..So day the FIRST TO GO!!! 🙂

    @ Slim…Cornell is cool. Hope you got Senator Pell (Grants)!! On the whole if college is for you and you like being a drone…Hey, to each his own!! I just can't stand a boss..So I do my own shiznit!!

    @…Hugh Jazz RIGHT ON MY BROTHA… some folk out here paying for CHARMIN..they just won't know it until they can't find work in their field of study.

    Like my uncles told me."Education is not the degree, it's knowing where the library is!!!"

    @ The Honorable… My brotha..Reading is so fundamental and comprehension…ok..let me stop!!…but (which means negate the previous).. I did not say "Dr. J is married"… " I said " I believe Dr. J is married"…Which by the way my brotha means; "I Think, But I could Be Mistaken"..or.. "Correct Me If I'm Wrong"

    2. Just be grateful I even take the time to read SBM and use part of my most valuable day to take it serious (most of the time…just not today..cuz DR. J is bsing)…At least I (and others) read this shiznit 🙂

    and before you go doing that riotous ig-dig-nation stuff..as a daily exercise I'm on salon.com, NYT.com, FT.com, WSJ.com, Slate.com, Espn.com, economist.com, and the one for "The LA Times"..you know..newspapers whose bloggers actually APPEAR ON TV!!! 🙂

    @ J… Man do yo thizzle ma nizzle…(snoop dogg). College grads are the minority in the work place…but if given a chance..some (not all) will use their wits end to implode your company…AND GET YOU FIRED!! All them boys…and girls.. on Wall Street that sank Lehman Bros & Merrill Lynch WERE COLLEGE GRADS!!!…a non graduate would never have been given billions to invest…the reason would have been "he wasn't smart enough" (LMAO)!!! SMART ENOUGH TO LOSE BILLIONS AND PUT MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ON THE STREET? OK!??? :-)…BTW Bill Gates was a dropout "HAH-VAD"..So was MICHAEL DELL "TEXAS"…and the list is endless.

    The Paper Doesn't Mean Success..It's just a way to open a door!! Frankly, why not just use a door knob and pass on the Student Loans!!! 🙂

    Ladies…B Yo Sef

    1. Le sigh…

      Since we're going to be technical, what you actually said was "If I remember correctly, Dr. J is married." I simply pointed out to you that you were clearly mistaken. LOL…did you even bother to read what you wrote? Look, I never claimed to better than anyone because I have a degree, hence why I'm taking issue with you attempting to down play the accomplishments of someone that went to college. If you gonna take shots, at least make sure you've got accurate facts so a lowly college grad like myself will have no way to respond.

      Oh yea…you said focus on ownership…I own two cribs, two whips and keep an accountant on retainer…does any of that count…………..?

      And lastly…you're right, I suppose bad grammar is good 'communication', so…

      Jus memba seh dat ah nuh every yout whe go ah school ah nuh likkle nerd whe 'fraid fi come out from unda dem mumma frack…some ah dem ah yout from di gully whe nuh fear nuh bwoi and nuh 'fraid fi eat yuh food, yuh si mi?

    2. Degree means drone? Is that you Waka Flocka?

      Idk fam. I'm pretty happy working for a global non-profit that's trying to solve the issues of poverty in Africa and South Asia. When I go to work with the battery in my back (pause?), I feel pretty good about it because I'm using my degree to create change in the world. I work with some of the brightest minds and this wouldn't have been possible without my robotic education at Cornell. *shrugs* To each his own.

      Thankful that you even read the site? Dog, I don't get paid for this.lol. I do it because I love it. Whether 20 people read the site or 20,000, I'd still write ferocious.

      So let's recap, I loved my time at college, I love my job, I love writing, and I love the city I'm in. What I don't like is someone trying to have an electronic "who's d*ck is bigger?" contest. And for a man who's time is so valuable, you sure did take out a lot of time to comment. This one took me a few minutes myself. Thank goodness I'm off the clock. Have a good weekend.

  43. Oh wow. Another bash post against black women.

    "…but Dr. J is it that DEEP? From reading your blogs and your love for Latina’s it is starting to make me think that you are vying for some type of acceptance or understanding from black women as to why you want to date outside of your race. I could be wrong, but that’s the vibe that I’m getting and if you want to do that, that’s cool too." << That.

    You prefer Latinas. Fine, just say so. (shrug)

  44. This post is not very well written. The thoughts are incoherent and do not flow well together. Have you ever heard of a topic sentence. Anywhoo, the issue I have with this post in particular is the bashing of the black woman and the lack of adequately addressing the material differences that black women are perceived to have with latinas.

  45. See Ladies…. It's easy to get in College Bros Brians..See Eye'm just writing my opinion..According to the U.S. Constitution everyone has this freedom.

    But I digress…

    *******************************

    Do yalls thang Sons..but that slang didn't come from Cornell!!!…And the degrees sho didn't prevent you from throwin your own Slang at me!! So why the heck correct Adonis??? Uhm??? It's ok…I'll wait!!

    *******************************

    And Bumba Clod…I did not make a mistake..I left room for error. It's called "wiggle room"!!…and I don't measure D" Sizes…You showed a lot about your self when you wrote this…But it's all good!!! It's cool!!!

    ********************************

    I've been retired for years…I have no debt….I pay very little in taxes as I am a fantastic

    Financial Planner!!.. I'm totally financially independent, I have no children and can come and go as I please….So yes..The whips, The Jobs, The Accountants… All of that counts!!!

    I'll give anyone props…especially my brothas. It's hard out here for us!!

    Unfortunately, too many of us know "The Price Of Everthing" & "The Value Of Nothing"!

    I have investments in Africa. Africa is good. Africa needs help. Non Profits are great…but…The G-20 is all about profit.

    This dichotomy has to be resolved in the U.N!! Lol

    I have never felt Africa's problems were about the people.. I've always felt the problems were more economically rooted… The exchange rates are onerous.. "Money Centers" control the currency valuations…Show me a country where the treasury doesn't control the value of it's own currency…And I'll show you a very poor country with no way to dig itself out…

    …so here are your props….. NO PROB!

    1. Dr. J, happy birthday weekend.

      Reality is, commentary in some posts may not apply to everyone in your reading audience. It doesn't mean that they are denying that whatever issue identified exists, it just means it doesn't apply to them. My views may not be the next woman's views just like my experience may be different than the next woman's experience. It's hard to generalize when people don't know the other person's history. The beauty of it all, we are not all the same. Some of us are open-minded and not closed-minded individuals. My hope is that one day we could live in a society that's color free (wrote a poem about it. Want to read it. LOL).

      LOL-Let me stop before I type a whole blog post. I already got a blog post in the works based on today's post.

      P.S. – I hope you get that book deal soon. Always support fellow scribes.

  46. Thanks for this post Dr. J!

    I always asked myself this question. I am Latina and I am approached by black men and have dated black men. Before meeting any of my significant other family members I was always afraid of their reaction towards me. (Like I am sure he was afraid of my fam's reaction toward him – because we all know racism could be in any person of any race even your own race).

    Q: "Are Black Women Racists Towards Latinas?"

    A: (after reading thru the comments) NO they are not Racists. But they can Hate on them – freedom of speech gives us this right after all, right?

    I did ask a friend of mine his opinion and this is what he answered: "Most the black women I have dated just want to prove they can take care of themselves "I'll do ME" and don’t let me feel like a man and take care of them. Also they are all about equality and stuff " I ain't gonna be told what to do, and I aint gonna iron his shirts he can do that himself!" While the Latina girls I have dated have let me take care of them and they voluntarily take care of me. Its like it's part of their culture."

    Now this was his personal opinion based on his experiences – I am thinking he probably just dated the wrong black women.

    @Hebrew Princess – I am glad you (and other black women that have post here) do not think anything of Latinas dating black men. One thing I did see in you comment and wanted to address is the Census statement. As a Puerto Rican I hate the fact that I have to distinguish myself as black or white. I am Puerto Rican – that is who I am. When I filled out the census I was confused – I DO NOT (and most Rican's) identify as neither white nor black so I set my self to be of OTHERS race. There has been major political issues about this matter and believe me no Hispanic is ok to be called by the USA Census as from OTHERS race. End of story is that not because the US Census – divides us and forces us to choose what we are by giving us specific options – it means that That’s how it’s supposed to be.

    1. Ok I lied I am not going to stay of it! Really this is what your friend said? *rolls eyes* Any woman worth her salt knows how and when to take care of "her man", that is, in fact if "he" is "her man". It depends on the relationship. Everyone wants to be equal, at the same time most men take their clothes to the cleaners. Problem solved. All women are not the same. I know a girl who ironed a guys shirt and made his ass breakfast and they are not even in a relationship. She just felt like doing it! The question is: Will he iron my shirt if I needed it done? o__O

      1. LOL – yeh I thought the same: "most men take their clothes to the cleaners. Problem solved" Iron is my #1 enemy so my man sure wont see me ironing them!

        I am not saying he is right – it's his personal opinion – but it does make sense to me what he says about women being all about "Imma do me", "I need no man to take care of me" kind of mentality and front. We all know you SURE want and need a man to take care of you emotionally, physically and at least 65% economically (who's gonna watch the kids?). But he said most of the black women he has dated were like this. Truth to this? I don’t know.

        I do have one black female friend that went crazy (gave me the crazy eyes) when I told her that most of the time the females in my family (all Latinas), serve food to their husbands and significant other (serve the plate and bring it up to wherever they are sitting). Because that’s what I saw growing up I don’t see anything wrong with it, but apparently to her it’s a big no no.

  47. what an ignorant post. wow. this is 2011 right??? Stock in intelligence must have gone wayyy down. Im ashamed for him to even be interested in posting something like this. LOL. Just wow. I should so write a black men bashing latin men piece now lol.

  48. I am from Argentina and I live in the Atlanta area. Black woman here are cool and nice to me. I never felt like they were racist towards me. I met some of the nicest and sweetest black women since I moved here and I admire them.

  49. I am white and my fiance is black. So dissapointed in the wretched looks, whispers, and giggles from black women. Its so very pathetic. I dont care what the reason is. I didnt do it to you, you dont know me, we love eachother, and having sh*+ in your heart is NEVER okay. Its not okay for you to hate, its ugly and its wrong. You are your problem, and other people can tell.

  50. I honestly feel like it’s not that deep. I’m a black woman whose been confused for Hispanic her whole life and I’ve had black men be instantly turned off the minute I tell them I’m black. What does that mean? You ready to translate that or no?
    Black women stand by black men, ready at all times to defend and help him but y’all use our strengths against us. I didn’t know being a strong, independant woman was a weakness. We educated black women just want someone of our caliber and strength who isn’t easily influenced by wack ass rappers like Plies. Keyword: Educated Black Women. I never honestly understood why is black women were so upset by Hispanic or white women taking our men..they’re usually bottom barrel and nothing we’d touch anyway. Let’s be real. Take them away girl!

  51. I can see why the african american Women can be mad, but then again what about the black men that are taking all the latinas… Doesn't that sound like something a loser might say… Yes it does,
    I mean as a latin male it's hard to date my own kind today… Very View are worth it, like black women I too have a short list of women that are available… And I think it's true that latina Women only go for black males because of sex… I personally love dark skinned women,

  52. let us do the math, black males make the majority in Jail…. so that is less males for the Black women…
    then you have the sick, the broke, sexually weak, etc… And most other races will not date a blk women unless she is either VERY ATTRACTIVE or Oprah rich…
    I hate when I see black males with latin women, but then again Black males make horrible Husbands.
    Kanye West
    Micheal Jordan
    almost all Basketball players and football players
    the Black Females have the short end of the stick and even if they are attractive they might be used by the black males just for sex… and then again might not get a dime for child support …

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