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Are Black Men Obsessed with Latinas?

ex-girlfriend tried to kill him
His crazy a*s ex-girlfriend tried to kill him, but Eva Mendes will be the death of me.

Have you ever noticed that when the bell rings for recess every kid runs out to the playground to play on their favorite playground equipment?  One kid goes to his locker and pulls out his brand new basketball.  And when he walks on the playground, every one of his classmates gravitates towards him and his new basketball.  It’s almost like they forgot about the kickball or the dodge ball, and the slide is now a thing of the past, it’s time to play basketball.

Ever get the feeling that Black men are the same way with Latinas?  They seem to drop Black women like an old kickball and move onto the new shiny thing they see.  I think the short answer to the question, Are Black Men Obsessed with Latinas is, yes.  However, speaking of myself personally, I don’t think I am.  I find all types of women attractive.  I’ve dated women from all around the world.  I’ve personally said to my friends, “I really don’t think Black women like me.”  I believe that people typically will date the people in their environment.  And unless you want to mash it up every weekend, your dating pool is Black women, Latinas, a couple of white women, and an occasional Asian chick.  The last Asian chick I dated was bat sh*t, and I find a lot of white women who only date Black men in clubs now-a-days.  That just freaks me out.

I think that some Black men are obsessed with Latinas though.  I think stereotypes about long hair, long real hair, and lighter skin do exist.  People believe that having kids with Latin women will produce better looking kids.  However, this surely goes both ways.  Sisters would be lying if they didn’t admit that for like a cool 15 years they were checking for Al B. Sure.  I think that most men who are obsessed with Latinas for their looks will soon find out that they come in so many different forms, you’re likely to find that Latinas look just like Black women.  I remember as a child I would just get so tickled at, “it was dry and straight, now it’s wet and curly!”  I still find this amusing today over 20 years later.  However, it’s still a dumb reason to be obsessed with Latinas not all of them have curly hair.

See Also:  Revisited: Are Black Men Obsessed with Latinas?

I think that some Black men are obsessed with Latinas because of the language.  Some people find Spanish, Italian or Portuguese to be a more romantic language.  However, this has nothing to do with Latinas, I think it’s just that it’s in a different language.  If you were dating a girl who spoke Mandarin Chinese and she just went into a rant during coital activities, you would get turned on.  I am not sure of the fascination with someone who has an accent, it can be sexy, but I think communication is important to me, it’s more important that I understand what you’re talking about.  I’ve never been one to say, “Oh that’s so cute you can’t say “museum”.”  That just seems stupid to me.

I think that Black men think that Latinas are more submissive.  Black women and Latinas listen up, men always think things are greener on the other side.  Black women need to own up to their street cred though, men, all men, Blacks and others think that Black women have an attitude problem.  A lot of men choose to date outside the race because they just can’t deal with that attitude.  If you go back to that prior statement I made about Black women not liking me, it’s because to be honest with you, I’m not backing down.  If you tell me something that I don’t agree with, I will not be suckered into a confession.  Black people we have to be honest, we are confrontational people, we are in your face.  However … so are Latinas, women are women, they are all a little crazy, they all are a little too emotional, and they all want what they want.  The bossiest girlfriend I’ve ever had was a Latina.

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I think that Black men think that Latinas are more catering to their men.  This ish is just false.  I’ll explain.  Why do Latinas serve their men?  Because that’s how they were raised.  If you meet a Latina who was not raised to serve men, guess what happens?  You ain’t getting a Corona until the Bills win the Super Bowl.  You can meet several Black women who were raised in homes where the boys were catered to and they will do the same thing.  What you should do is check and see how she was raised before making a decision about who you want to date.

I’m getting ready to step into some stinking poo as I try and close this out.  So do Black men put up with a Latina’s crap before they will a Black woman’s?  This is a good point.  If you will let a Latina do it to you, but you don’t let Black women do it, chances are, you have some type of issue.  I have had to check myself before and be honest with myself, taking that pin out of her hair and her long black hair flowing all over her back while in the reverse cowboy position just isn’t worth it when she cusses me out right after.  A lazy woman is a lazy woman is a useless woman.  Having your “Latina” laid up in the house all the time, not doing anything, is not doing anything for you.  I need to know that if I go to the trunk to get my 45, my Butter Pecan Puerto Rican is going to get the switchblade too.  We have to work together.

See Also:  Should a Man Love a Woman More Than She Loves Him?

So I put it all on the table, I’m interested to hear your thoughts.  Do you know who invented Latinas? Do you think Black Men are Obsessed with Latinas?  I’d like to hear from Latinas on this one too.  Damn I wish we still had Migente so I could post this on my page.

Dr. V


  1. I'm not sure that black men in general are obsessed with Latinas*, but I'm starting to think you might be. 🙂

    *Does it count if they look more black than Latina?

    1. LOL, was about to say the same thing. I'm like…yeah, ya'll keep writing about it! Ya shole explainin a lot. Us sistas making you feel guilty? 😉

      (Probably lol)

    1. Typically I do not comment on my posts until at least 9:30, but I will respond to this before it gets ridiculous;

      The reason why we are still talking about this is because it's Hispanic Heritage Month, and if you have been reading I stated two weeks ago, I would be doing four posts Latino-charged for the month.

      That is all.

      1. Actually J, I have been reading your posts and know that this month is Hispanic Heritage Month…as you said they don't take one month in the normal way, but start in the middle of one month and go to the middle of the next month ensuring the get 3 paychecks. So watch yourself.

        In response to your stance that you will be writing Latino centered posts, that is great. However, as your pseudo role of SBM ambassador for Latinos, I believe there are more diverse and compelling issues that Latinos face that could be presented to the SBM audience than using two posts to deliberate whether Black men are obsessed with Latino women or whether Black women give Latino women the evil eye.

        That is all.

      2. "The reason why we are still talking about this is because it’s Hispanic Heritage Month, and if you have been reading I stated two weeks ago, I would be doing four posts Latino-charged for the month."

        i hope in february you have 4 posts speaking on the positive attributes of black women. you know since it's black history month.

        1. Tunde:

          Today I had a conversation with a reader offline, and I said, you know if I ever write a book i'll write it about something that Black women disagree with. You know why because they'll actually read it and buy it. If I wrote about something that Black women agreed with, they don't read it, or they throw it by the waste side quickly.

          And if I wrote a post about the great qualities with Black women in February here's what would happen, (1) They'd love it, but there would be 6 comments on each post, (2) If a Latina said it's boring, they'd reply, "Black men bring us down ALL the time! It's about time." Well, this blog is called Single Black Male and Black men are not only dating Black women, but we only supposed to talk about dating Black women? That's makes perfect sense!

          Consider me more of a forward thinker, but I think that it's okay to make a site to talk about Black women, but the beauty of this site is that as a Black man we're giving advice to women interested in Black men. I know personally there are women of other races that read this blog and they get advice or insight .. but you know what? We never write anything for them. So I think it's fair to do so.

          So in February, maybe I will do four posts for Black women, but will the topic be boring again after Week 2, or will it be different?

  2. Am Kenyan,like in Africa n i follow this blog but its ma first tyme to comment on this one.

    mainly coz am a visual animal,i tend to think that beauty in terms of different races among women was given to latinas.Dont get me wrong,all women especially africans down here can be absolutely cute, but hey with latinas?'Guilty as Charged' n coz we aint got them down here in kenya we go for the next in line,- ethiopian chiks-who look like latinas.

    1. LMAO! He kept it real!

      Good for you! But you know you should swing for further north, like Moroccans, etc.

      LOL @ Sane's welcome

    2. so I'm late with this post but i had to comment when I saw Rob's lol. The remarks from Rob, while "real", are just the tip of the iceburg..I'm a Nigerian American woman, born and raised in the states but you know I eat my dodo and obe..my brother REFUSES to date black women (Nigerian or otherwise)..all of his GFs have been Latina of some sort..his current GF is Cape Verdean..that's as "African" as he'll get. I think he thinks he's in a music video for real. All that to say, it's not just colonialism, it's the sad sad sad consequence of a combination of "isms" that create this misguided hierarchy of beauty.

      that is all.


    3. Not all SO CALLED BLACK PEOPLE ARE THE SAME. Aske your garndfather or father who those so called black people are that came to the america sand the rest of the world on cargo slave ships. It's in the bible, those people*(my people) are the biblical israelites who went into captivity for breaking the laws that THE MOST HIGH gave to us via Moses. And the so called latins are native americans who were also enslaved the same curses as us. They are kith and kin that's why latins and so called blacks act the same, rap the same and have the same spirit. That's why we do everything the best because we are the special people unto the MOST HIGH which is mentioned in the bible. We descend from Shem (shemites). The black people in Africa descend from Ham (hamites) WE ARE NOT THE SAME PEOPLE.
      We ran into Africa in 70AD when the romans were after us to blend in with other brown/black people.
      It was the Hamites(africans) along with the arabs(ishmalites) who rounded us up and sold us to the whiteman(edomites-ESAU).

  3. I think that Black men who are obessessed use Latinas as a leveling agent.

    Fixating on Latinas allows brothas to fire shots at sistas and get a pass… cause she ain’t white… without owning that they don’t have the history of support and or the baggage of dealing with brothas that we do.

    Latinas are firey and sistas have attitude… bad ones… yeah yeah we know

    I don’t think that its a coincidence that light skin, long hair and submission are used as prime examples… because we aren’t talking about Afro-Latinas or Latinas that looks black.

    I think the most disingenuous part of the conversation is the most sought after characteristics, especially the physical ones are not usually possessed by sistas… usually followed by the statement but I love all women.

    And I personally would like to apologize for the Al.B. Sure thing, even though that wasn’t me or many of the sistas I know if somebodies feelings were hurt I am sorry.

    With that… it’s 2010 and Idris Elba is the new ideal and if I am not mistaken Al is and was a non-hispanic brotha..

    So why does this keep coming up.

    It is like me saying that I love all men as long as they are clean shaven and smooth faced… knowing that most brothas struggle with razor bumps and you would be hard pressed to think of any that you know that don’t have some facial hair.

    (I stayed away from credit scores because I am a lady.)

    So what I am I really trying to say about my preference…

    I think that fixating on Latinas is a way of setting a bar for sistas in what many brothas feel is a depressed market… this is your competition… now ask yourself what are you willing to do to win a black man.

    Okay but what is the pay off… cause if we as sistas are engaging you in this conversation it is because we love you and want to be loved by you so let’s say we comply… hit the gym, grow it long and keep it straight, wax it, top chef, kama sutra, educate and bank roll ourselves, hire professional movers, and never show hurt or disappointment…

    What’s the prize, marriage… commitment… or is it just a shot to stand in line with a bunch of other chicks cause that beats being lonely.

    Because if that is what turns them on and they aren’t checking for sistas why do they want us to co-sign.. I don’t understand that, cause they aren’t trying to gain the acceptance of the latin community and live there… I wonder how that would work for them.

    And I always wanted to ask brothas with this obsession for Latinas… what are you going to do when you have a little girl and she looks just like you?

    And who is she going to marry if we continue with all this foolishness ~JS

    1. Read often but never comment.

      I think your reply was great and this is coming from a Latina who loves the brothers, but also took the time to put myself in your shoes and how I would feel. Not a good feeling at all.

      Thank you for the knowledge!!

    2. I want you to know that is not Black Man Obsessed with Latinas…. But Latinas Obsessed with Black Man…. You man might want to think you are in charge,,, But that is not the case… The women you get to sleep with are the women who mentally already had decided they were going to sleep with you…. We women like to play it out… We "perform" for you…. But be assure it is us who controls the mating.

  4. I don't think black men are obsessed with latinas. None of the census statics support it. Despite what we think we see, when it comes down to it, the vast majority of black men who are married, or will eventually marry, are married to, or will marry another black person.

    Also, no disrespect to the good doctor, but, I think it's intellectually lazy to continue comparing black women to latnas. The comparison is inherently flawed because you can be black and latina… like my mother-in-law. She's Costa Rican and she's black. She's proud of this. It's disrespectful to latinas because it reduces them to one homogenus pool of spanish speaking people from somewhere that's not here. It's disrespectful to black women because it takes a race, with all sorts of history, and compares it to a… …something not that.

    The same where there are black americans and white americans, there are black Costa Ricans and White Costa Ricans, or black domincans and white domincans.

    If we're gonna have the discussion, I think we need to put some intellecually accurate parameters around it. We're all smart people… let's have this conversation the right way if we're gonna have it.

    1. great comment. very much in line with the link I posted from the Black Snob blog last week. its possible to be both, so why are we comparing and contrasting…

      1. I think a lot of the reason fo rth ecompare and contrast is because people aren't educated to the similarities, which is a "Easter egg" I find within these posts by DRJ.

        As Worldy (Or Western hemispherically, smh) travelled and knowledgable as i am, I still got BLOWNaway when I went to Panama and met black Columbians. I never thought they had any in their country. Funniest thing is, these women spoke little (re: no) english, and conversing with them in Spanish, I made a comment to my boys saying "These chicks are just like the black women I know in the states, only difference is they don't speak english!"

        In saying that, I think we can say that Latino isnt a race, its a nationality derived from geographical location and imperialistic chartering by the spanish.

        Its funny, I met white Haitians before and remain unphased. Got to open your minds eye lest you remain intellectually blind.

        1. Streetz, I agree, for the most part, but, it's not even a nationality. A nationality indicates a nation. But the Latinas we're talking about here are from many nations. Go to Costa Rica… point to a woman and ask another person "what is she", they will tell you "She's Costa Rican", go to Venezuela ask the same question and they'll say "She's Venezuelean". But then, they come here and all of a sudden, they're all just "Spanish" or "Latina".

          I think Dr. Jay brings up some points worth discussing. Is it a little cliche – sure – but so what, everything is cliche. The problem is, when the question at the heart of the issue is inherently flawed, it makes the conversation damn near impossible.

          Also, I think the answer is a resounding "no". Black men aren't "obsessed" with Latinas. "We like her… and we like her too…" The fact that the answer is "no" kinda limits the conversation. If the answer were "yes" we'd have lots more to talk about.

        2. I got you Most. thought i covered that by my Spain comment, but you know what I mean. its just another way of defining a set of people i guess.

          cosign other points you made.

    2. Most,

      It disappoints me that you feel this way. It lets me know that you do not read, or did not read. Last week, on Friday I posted a 2000 word response to this post that addresses your comment. I'm not intellectually lazy, I work with a word count. I do not have time to write a dissertation on race and nationality. Also, this blog is about sex, dating and relationships. If the room was appropriate then I would speak about that.

      Also, don't try and have an intellectual conversation on the internet in a comments box. You'll be hard pressed to find people who are on equal planes. And we all know what they say about arguing with fools, from a distance no one can tell the difference.

      Lastly, I know you personally and know this to be a fact, you love debates. I don't know if you've ever agreed with one of my posts, lol. I would have appreciated a comment more to the effect of, "Am I obsessed with Latinas? Yes, that's why I married one. I should be obsessed with my wife because I love her and will love her forever. That being said .. (and then you can insert your point about Black Latinos, which I already spoke about.) But seriously, b, don't just disagree to disagree. I appreciate that you're like the Felix Jones of this site, sort of like an auxillary reader. Women on here worship the ground you walk on, but to be honest, it's real easy to keep women happy, it's not real easy to deal with them when they need to hear a message they don't want to hear.

        1. Cowboys fans aren't as articulate as me.

          I'm a Niners fan. And before you say it, allow me. The Niners stink like old bus seats.

        2. Stay the course…being a Chief's fan, I can finally hold my head high the first time in a looong time.

          You're not a fan if you can't acknowledge the bad with the good #lifelessonsonthelow.

  5. I think if you exclusively date Latina women then yes you are probably obsessed….I don't really care who black men are obsessed with…I just concern myself with my own situation….if a man is only checking for Latina women then I am not even concerning myself with him anyway…he doesn't even see me….I'm going to check for someone who is checking for me….

  6. I don't care if this is Hispanic Heritage Month, having the exact.same.post. four weeks in a row is just lazy. And not really up to the usual quality of your controversial posts. Kinda like season 8 of Jerry Springer, when they started getting silly with the midgets and fake wedding crashers. Just noise.

    Do better my friend.

    1. I didn't realize that there were actual seasons of Jerry Springer. I just assumed they ran reruns until they had the money and stupid guests to film a new one.

    2. I can say this because I love you like the family we can't get rid of, but they always make you think, damn i'm glad I ain't got yo' last name…

      "Don't watch me, watch TV."

      We got a term amongst the fellas when we debate things, it's called, "Keep it on wax." It basically means, don't attack the messenger, attack the material. If you disagree with my points, that's fine, but come on now, me as a writer, you think i'm lazy?

      That's the wildest thing i've ever heard, ask anyone and they'll tell you I put out more material than Weezy in these blogstreets.

  7. Wow. Dr. J you brought up a valid question.

    I say this because in one of my Psych textbooks, when speaking on adolescent body image and facial appearances; it clearly states and as a FACT (with no references to ANY studies???) that–

    "In North America, the ideal body type and facial appearance are Anglo-Saxon."

    NOW—-me with the over analyzing of EVERYTHING (remember) took this and ran with it. I was HOT for several days (just discovered this weekend while studying).

    What is this ideal based on?

    Whom did they interview?

    I asked myself why they would teach future psych student this. There are several issues I have with this book as well. Now mind you the large % of students are younger than 25 and THIS is what they are feeding them at A major university.

    Therefore, this is WHY nothing changes. I know I am digressing but I am SO tired of being compared to other people in general. Why can't we just accept each other’s as individuals and know that there is beauty in everyone. What is REALLY up with the IDEAL thing anyway? Doesn't that set an unattainable standard for people? Is that why Lil Kim looks like that? SMDH

    1. Yep, people don't want to talk about the *real* why behind the beauty standards that suggest that "hair flowing " "long hair, long real hair, and lighter skin" are more valuable. Continuing to judge ourselves by looking through someone else's mirror is a continous #fail that leads us to over look and or devalue what we offer.

      Its an idea that we can continue to carelessly conform to as if there is no history behind this,

      or we can recognize it, accept it, and try to fit that mold (someone else's standards) or get a partner that does

      or we can recognize it, reject it, and realize that we are our own unique beautiful thing with our own standards that other people can't compete with

    1. I agree…I live in Florida and both white boys and black boys are obsessed with latinas down here. I still don't get it. They have long black hair…AND THAT'S IT! They are uneducated, lazy and love to ruin a man's life with drama and babies. I have yet to hear any latina, speak about a future where they actually assist their men with financial stability. They love the hell out of spending money and putting their men in an early financial grave! I have yet to be impressed. It's only a hair thing, very few are actually pretty with beautiful bodies. They simply have hair and think that "it" (hair) can keep a man occupied for many years to come. I can't tell you how many men I know, who are picking up their financial ruins from these "Gold Digging Charo's"… Soooo…have at it boys…Good Luck and God's Speed…

    1. lol. Its Hispanic Heritage Month, so he is writing a post every week this month focusing on them. Granted, there is a lot he could talk about that doesn't pit black women avainst latina women, but who am I to question it. Its his blog. #NIAshrug

      1. NIA and Reecie:

        Let this be a lesson, wasn't nobody talking about Black women in this post. I was talking about Black men and Latinas.

        Let's evaluate when I spoke about Black women:

        (1) Their street cred says they have an attitude problem, I see that some of you would like to argue this point, but i'll respectfully disagree.

        (2) To say that if you were raised to serve your men, then you would serve your men, and the assumption that Latinas are more submissive than others is dumb. (Point for you guys)

        (3) To say that if you will put up with a Latinas crap before a Black woman's crap then you are part of the problem.

        At times, I wonder if you guys read, or see the title and jump to the comments to say something.

        "uhm is every Thursday is gonna be a Latina post from now on? just asking. now I’ll read…" – Reecie

        1. and my question didn't mention black women–it mentioned Latinas. so maybe that response is directed to Nia specifically.

          I absolutely can skip to the comments first if my heart desires. but I always say so as not to be ignorant to the conversation.

          and I still didn't read all of your post. have no reason to…

        2. "I absolutely can skip to the comments first if my heart desires. but I always say so as not to be ignorant to the conversation.

          and I still didn’t read all of your post. have no reason to…"

          – Reecie

          The defense rests.

        3. yeah I knew you were gonna quote that too bad I couldn't edit in time–it shouldve said "to inform the reader that I am ignorant on the conversation up front"

          so yeah…I'm still good on reading the rest.

    1. Yep…I feel like I've read the same remixed post at least 8 different times on this site. I'm not salty about it, but I am disappointed. They've lost me as a reader.

  8. 1. I was never on that whole light skin thing when I was a kid. My parents are unapologetically pro-black. Which means everyday, they had to fight against the messages coming from my classmates, my extended country family, and the media. And I am thankful everyday for that…

    2. How did this stereotype about our bad attitude begin? When did it start? I know some bitter women who have bad attitudes, women who have been through it, and have experience tough times in their lives. I wonder if the bad attitude stereotype started around the time of the "Jezebel" ?

    3. Are black men obsessed with latinas? I don't think so. However, I think black men believe they are supposed to desire/validate/exhault/prize/obsess over any group of women that doesn't include black women. And I think its subconcious, but an effect of our experiences in this country, as well as colonialism and imperialism throughout the diaspora. When you are bombarded with noise and images that say not only are you not good enough, but neither are your women, then its not hard to see how some men will gravitate more towards that which is least like him. However, its not nearly as bad as they will like us to believe. Like Most said, the overwhelming majority of black men will marry a black woman, or a woman who identifies as black, which includes latinas.

    1. "However, I think black men believe they are supposed to desire/validate/exhault/prize/obsess over any group of women that doesn’t include black women. And I think its subconcious, but an effect of our experiences in this country, as well as colonialism and imperialism throughout the diaspora. When you are bombarded with noise and images that say not only are you not good enough, but neither are your women, then its not hard to see how some men will gravitate more towards that which is least like him."

      This is a GREAT point and I concur wholeheartedly!

    2. that make sense . im a Hispanic male. i dont agree how lustful the world become ::even it bad over kids alot of bad influences ,the music world'' sell alot of interracial , but it more pointed out by the crowd all kids under 11 thr 15 get into sex, an post videos up on site. lol like come on dont try to hide the truth, it not love, lol are movies are so perv, America a big perv, So what bout the texas chain saw movie,. they over play the role with one black male not even another guy or a black female to be fair they wanted to show domination of a black male tha reject there own, so that why Latina love black male, the movies the media it should be base on that, , black males should not hate when a latino Hispanic wetback, is with a black woman be fair every one , an Obama does not care about Hispanic rights, but when will there be a Hispanic president ,an if so, maybe more black female will love Hispanic male more lol,

  9. Dr. J, I love your writing I do. But I promise I will not be back next Thursday to read about this same topic again. Moreover, come February 2011 ….you know BLACK history month I expect that every Thursday there will be a post about how:



















    Sexy……..in other words how…

    WONDERFUL black women are. And if you yourself can't write it because a black woman broke your heart please ask a guest writer (preferably someone you know that is still enamored with black women) to write every Thursday for you that month. #thatisall.

        1. I am too. Dead serious. I've actually made some calls to see if we can get Montell to remix the hook so all during BHM you'll hear him sing "Something for the Bunnies" when the page loads. We're also close to locking down Meghan McCain to do a guest post about her adventures in darkness that give Papa McCain angina. All fact.

        2. LOL @ Meghan McCain reference.. she is a mother now and won't have time for you. I am done with this buffoonery. #youneedJesus.

  10. "Do you think Black Men are Obsessed with Latinas?"

    nope. most black men i know are obsessed with women, period. i am starting to think that you are obsessed with them though.

  11. Well, I guess I'll be back when there's a post actually about Hispanic heritage. In the meantime, I'll catch some films at the museum for the Latin American Film Festival here in ATL.

  12. I think that Black men think that Latinas are more submissive.

    Bruh! Who are these "Black Men"? This is the absolute first time I've seen this statement. I don't know not nan black guy who thinks this. more Submissive?!?! You can't be serious… If there was a stereotype, it would be "more crazy." Ask Andre 3000

    On a more serious note, I disagree with the generalization of a Black Woman's attitude AND the generalization of a Black Man's precept of a Black Woman's attitude. I think people are not taking into account of the sources of this information. Empty wagons make a lot of noise but that doesn't mean the loudest comment is the general consensus. People seem to comment on the loudest and treat it as some collective thought when it's just the ignorance of a loud few.

    So a very loud few say some dumb stuff, and the media, random white people and black people start talking as if a person stated a truth about black man's thought. Glorifying ignorance and giving it a stage… THAT'S when it becomes contagious and people start verbally "agreeing." And then some guys use that as an excuse for doing them rather than simply being real about their own desires. Lies…

    We already had posts about the reasons Men and women lie… It's it plausible that many guys who carry-on the notions of "black women attitudes" being the reason for dating other races are lying as well? Just to have something to say in response to groups of women showing disdain concerning the African American male dating pool… Just to poke fun and get people riled up because watching women react is often funny and dangerous… Just like a partial joke that someone overheard and took seriously… Then as it spread, people took hold to it as some truth. Don't say ish like that doesn't happen.

    YOU may be obsessed with Latin women and that's a reflection of your personal preference. We can make all the theories about the origins of those preferences, but the fact of the matter is that we all know the REAL reason why many Black women (many women in general) are overlooked by black men: TOO MANY OF YOU LOOK THE SAME. Meaning, it's like many of you, shop at the same stores, go to the same hair dresser, play the same roles in your group of friends, etc.. ALL to portray the same image. A guy is lying through his teeth if he say that he hasn't noticed that many Black women are just looking too similar. So in a room of a black women, and one white/latin/greek/asian/african (as in from Africa), my chances of noticing them are much higher than the chick sitting in the group of friends who look just like her, act just like her, have the same facial expressions, etc…

    We can go all day about the "reasons" why women are looking too similar and many women might blame it on this make-shift collective male thought on physical beauty Dr. J has been alluding to. Who cares? Because if YOU (black woman) can't go against the grain, then I probably wouldn't really want you anyway. And if (black) guys aren't down for any individuality you bring to this situation then chances are, they really wasn't your type.

    Darwinism heaux! In a room of Holli Berries, Toni Braxtons, Beyonce look-alikes I really wouldn't know who to approach. But that one chick that looks like Corin Bailey-Rae will get the business.

    And you wonder WHY guys try to talk to 5 of your friends THEN you?!?! Guess what, you all probably were together and looked similar enough.


    1. I'm intrigued by this and daresay, I kind of agree. However, can the same not be said for most women of any nationality? Also, this site is one of many where men come and vocally let us in on the "secrets" of what they find attractive*. Is it really that shocking when a large number of women try to adapt to that and end up looking similar? This sounds like a chicken/egg problem.

      *long hair being one that is repeated all the time.

      1. Is it really that shocking when a large number of women try to adapt to that and end up looking similar? This sounds like a chicken/egg problem.

        It's not shocking at all… And, like you said can be applied to all nationalities.

        Which comes first, Men preferences for certain feminine features, or a woman's attempt to adapt to the preferences of men?

        But wait… how can you adapt to a set of preferences that are unknown? I swear to you, some things aren't preferred until they're seen (in a certain context). Then sometimes those "preferences" are applied to all or at least more non-related contexts.

        Problem? Not for me. It makes elimination easier. Who knows, this all could be a super-swindle to get most women to adapt to some random group of guys preferences allowing them to eliminate themselves given no guy will talk to you if he doesn't notices you. So the women who choose to stand out, will get all the attention. Then women start saying "this guy says he wants one thing, but he next (of some other race MAYBE) girl wasn't that at all. She wasn't all that." Because "wasn't all that" is a measurement relative to the features most black women would choose to adapt. But she's alone and the "wasn't all that" lady is in a committed relationship. Talk about a mindf*ck… LOL.

    2. "YOU may be obsessed with Latin women and that’s a reflection of your personal preference. We can make all the theories about the origins of those preferences, but the fact of the matter is that we all know the REAL reason why many Black women (many women in general) are overlooked by black men: TOO MANY OF YOU LOOK THE SAME. Meaning, it’s like many of you, shop at the same stores, go to the same hair dresser, play the same roles in your group of friends, etc.. ALL to portray the same image. A guy is lying through his teeth if he say that he hasn’t noticed that many Black women are just looking too similar. So in a room of a black women, and one white/latin/greek/asian/african (as in from Africa), my chances of noticing them are much higher than the chick sitting in the group of friends who look just like her, act just like her, have the same facial expressions, etc…

      We can go all day about the “reasons” why women are looking too similar and many women might blame it on this make-shift collective male thought on physical beauty Dr. J has been alluding to. Who cares? Because if YOU (black woman) can’t go against the grain, then I probably wouldn’t really want you anyway. And if (black) guys aren’t down for any individuality you bring to this situation then chances are, they really wasn’t your type.

      Darwinism heaux! In a room of Holli Berries, Toni Braxtons, Beyonce look-alikes I really wouldn’t know who to approach. But that one chick that looks like Corin Bailey-Rae will get the business.

      And you wonder WHY guys try to talk to 5 of your friends THEN you?!?! Guess what, you all probably were together and looked similar enough."

      ** Nice paragraphs you were able to read between the lines of the topic.

    3. What I really didn't understand about that comment was how you stated how all black women look alike when I can go around alot of white girls they all wear similar clothing, go around latina girls they all wear similar attire as well; Yet it's different when black girl dress alike? I'm a bit confused…

  13. Last week, y'all killed me. I knew that kevlar I was rocking was old, but I thought it was just going to be a routine day in the desert, turned out being Black Man Down, no not Black man, Dr. J Down, LMAO.

    So … I have a brand new kevlar.

    The best part about these comments is that I can read them and i'll say, "Psssshhh, yeah right!" I can tell you're full of it, just by reading your comment.

    So .. ehrum, Latinas aren't Sisters? I see I said, this circular argument is that Latinas can be Black, so it's not fair to separate Blacks from Latinas, so in order to make your comment you use the term, "Sisters"? That's real interesting to me.

    Let's take a gander for a minute, look at TV, Music, Professional Sports, these are what we see the most because we are force fed the material … If you can't see that a lot of Black men are dating Latinas, then you are just not paying attention. (Pause for all the people will swear up and down they don't watch TV or pay attention to Sports, but will be tweeting about the BET awards.)

    As Cam'ron said so eloquently, "That's a problem!"

    (If you've never seen this interview with Cam'ron and Bill O'Reilly I recommend you do it ASAP, he seems like an idiot, but when he pointed out that children looking up to him and not their parents was a problem, he had a great point.)

    My goal of this post was this: Do Black men obsess over Latin women? Yeah, that happens. But there are some Black men who obsess over light skin women, women with big breasts or a big old booty, there are some men who don't date women with names like "LaKeisha" these things happen, and you know it. Same for women, there are some women who don't date a man because they think he's broke, or he doesn't have a good job, hell, women don't date men when they don't have a car. So are there silly reasons for why people don't date people? Yes. It's happening.

    Moreover, and I guess this is the difference between the "good doctor" and who I am in real life, don't sleep. Anyone will tell you, i'm a lot smarter than I let on. I just want you to read this, and I hope it has an affect on you. Makes you a little angry, that next time you are in a coffeehouse and you see some offensive behavior, you can step up and say, "You know, it's funny you say that because we were just talking about that on SBM." You can ask any of the writers, i'm methodical with my writing. It's not easy to be provocative. And sometimes I will admit being provocative is like driving on ice, you can't really tell where it's going to stop.

    I'll leave you with the best example I can give you. If you follow me on Twitter you know that I don't like Lil' Duval because he went in on hitting women one time for about 12 hours, I just thought that was wack. A lot of women who claim to be all about domestic violence, they still retweet him, it is what it is. But did you see Kevin Hart's standup where he talks about the gnats and he was talking to the chick? Man that was funny as hell. But did you peep how he said, oh I hit shorty in the face by accident? Yeah a bunch of people laughed, but there were probably few of you who thought, but yo … any joking about hitting women should not be condoned.

    Provocative … Offensive.

    If I offended you, sorry, know that I love each and everyone of the readers here at SBM. Y'all be out to lunch sometimes, but so do I. I appreciate the love, but like I said to Teflon, keep it on wax. Know that i'm just trying to spark discussion.

    1. I won't disagree with you, Dr. J. We're used to getting controversial posts from you that spark a lot of discussion. I think that many of us just couldn't sink our teeth into this one. I felt like you were pulling my leg with last week's post. Then this week's post was kind of the same thing. And by "kind of" I mean "exactly". The theme being: "Let's See How Riled Up We Can Our Readers for the Purposes of High Comment Numbers". Based on the comments I'm not the only "regular" who felt that way. I see more people today expressing their exhaustion with the subject than discussing the subject itself.

      I didn't discuss the merits of the post because it was based on so many wishy washy thoughts of folks that have nothing to do with my reality. I don't hang with sports figures and actors. I don't care what they put on their arm. I'm not on the Twitta. The Black American women I know don't have a problem with the mythical Latina Blanca. And if a Black man decides to publically worship at the Iglesia de Latina Blanca I'm not gonna try to stop it. Captain Save a Color Struck Simp left the building when she realized the 401k package got ate up in the stock market crash. And that for all Kim's exotice fineness, given the opportunity Reggie still had some other broke down beige chick giving ho-tours in his house while Kim was waiting for her ring. Now she's running around looking like Latoya Jackson.

      Some black men are holding down a good life with wife and kids, no matter where the wife is from or what she looks like. Like Most pointed out, the majority of Black men that get married are married to Black women according to the census. Some men are working the tired angle that "good Black men" are dang near impossible to find and tossing crumbs to women just to see them scramble for scraps. But after awhile, women stop fighting and just leave those fools alone. Like Jhane Sez upthread pointed out: what exactly is the prize?

      And just for the record, I think Eva Mendes has a strong azz jaw. Doesn't mean I hate Latinas. Just means she could crack walnuts on the outside of her cheek.

        1. HUGE nosign!

          How? Am I the only one that sees NO resemblance? Like none. Ok, they both have 2 eyes and a mouth…but past that…

        2. Actually, 'Rita, you are right. They don't look alike. They just both look ridiculous because of plastic surgery. Seriously, Kim's face is looking a little scary these days.

        3. LOL @ "Rita" 🙂 Getting nicknames and ish *fist pump*

          Kim has a face?!?! Who knew? 😉 Can I just get HALF of that ass? That's what I wanna know!

          You'd think after seeing what plastic surgery did to Bruce Jenner, she'd step away from the knife…

        4. Starita – it's the nose and the cheekbones. Like someone put a clothespin on their noses and stuffed a macaroon in each cheek. And the bad thing is that Kim is just startin' this tomfoolery with her face….

    1. Very true

      But I thought last weeks post was a setup, but judging from Dr. J's blog response he was pretty offended by that notion.

      I definitely see his provocateur role though, he plays it well. So I applaud him on that, because its not easy.

    1. My worse was with a Latina. The only Latina I've ever been with. It completely shattered the stereotype and destroyed my world. I never use emoticons, but it's appropriate here.


  14. First let me say, DOMINICANAS stand up! Now that I have that out of my system let me proceed to comment

    Well I would like to say that I truly do believe there are SOME Black men that are "obsessed" with Latinas. I mean honestly, there are SOME men in GENERAL who only want to date one type of ethnic group and perhaps that is Latino so I do believe that classifies as being obsessed.

    The problem with Black men "obsessing" over Latinas only arises when they come across a Latina that looks more Black than what the "ideal" Latina woman looks like to them (i.e. Basically tanned skin, long curly hair, etc.) Hell, go to the Dominican Republic and you will see LATINAS that are the same color as Fantasia and with hair just like Ms. Celie's. Of course then they don't count as being "Latina" b/c they look just like the "regular" sister instead of having that exotic look.

    Of course with the title of this blog it basically generalizes that ALL Black men are obsessed with them which makes it wrong. Hell I do feel like (some) Latinas are just as obsessed with Black men just like (some) Black men are obsessed with Latinas. Shoot, I just went to a forum and listened to a bunch of Latinas announce to the world that they "only date Black men."

    Finally, I don't see what the big deal is in regards to him saying he's writing these blogs in honor of Hispanic Heritage month. SBM is about men, women, relationships, life and sex so why are some people getting all pissy about him writing something regarding Black men and their relationships with Latinas? I mean, honestly, do you want him to write a blog about Frida Kahlo's art or how Aventura made bachata extremely popular in the states?

  15. Also have to add the Latinas I've dated have been more interested in talking about sports and regular topics than dating and relationships.

    If you couldn't tell I want to mark "yes" to this question.

  16. "Black women and Latinas listen up, men always think things are greener on the other side."

    -These are the men who need to water their side a little more…

  17. latina women are one of the most beautiful women on the planet. well i think all women of color of gorgeous. but i think that black men may adore them because its different. the language, culture, food, hair, skin complexion, up-bringing, etc. but i personally think all men want something different at some point. i dont think its an obsession but admiration. lets face it if men were able to get to pandora(avatar) they will hook up wit Navi women.

    1. Ha! That was my word for about two semesters. I was a psych minor. I love relating everything to cognitive dissonance.

  18. Readers drive the comments, site traffic, and all the other metrics that writers/bloggers review in their stats. If the content is upsetting, dull, or anything else you don't like, you have the power to change that. Going strong in the comments with disdain for the topic only tells us that this approach works. A negative reaction that contributes to the stats, in our minds, is often better than no reaction at all.

    Not speaking to anybody in particular. Just think this is an interesting recurrence here and elsewhere.

    **Returns to the shadows only to realize he can't completely hide because of his complexion**

    1. I don't know, you're kind of hidden in that dark, shadowy picture.

      I really am not feeling how it's being somewhat implied throughout the comments that posts are driven by what will get readers amped. I like to believe (maybe somewhat naively) that every post on here is written because that writer specifically felt like writing his opinion on that topic and not because it'll cause a ruckus in the comments. I've never been a fan of controversy for the sake of controversy (maybe why I'm not a huge Family Guy fan).

      Using one of the doc's posts as an example, Plain Jane was very positive and had 151 comments (which has well surpassed this post). If the post is well-written and urges the readers for interaction, there's no need for it to be a pot-stirrer. It seems to me that when the post gets people upset, they come in an write a one sentence comment and bounce (at least that's what a bit of today's comments were).

  19. I think this is how the writer feels and that's fine, he's brave enough to write in words why he feels black men are "obsessed" with latin women.

    That doesn't necessarily mean that all men share the same sentiments and that also doesn't mean there are men that don't. I think the problem arises when there is pretty much a compare and contrast of what other women have and what black women don't. The writer said that when he was growing up he felt that black women didn't like him, probably he is taking out the frustrations he felt back then in his writing today. Maybe he knows what he's doing which is why he does it often or maybe it's subconscious.

    Whatever it is, maybe life will be the lesson.

    The one thing I would like to know is, when did the notion that black women don't support, or "cook" for their men? Is this something new because for as long as I can remember that is something the black woman have done.

    Then the next question is, is the writer doing things to attract the type of black women he says doesn't exist?

    Your thoughts become things and if a person continuously tell themselves that people are one way, they will continue to attract those people to them because in a way they are asking for those types of individuals whether the realize it or not.

    I don't mean to analyze but I feel sympathy more than offense from this post.

    1. The writer has no shortage of Black women who would like to date him, and he's never been one to not date a chick because he feels that "Black women don't like me." I don't live in generalizations, but it's hard to talk/write without using them, we just don't have the time. Also to correct you, I never saw when the writer said, "growing up…"

      You've never heard about Black women not cooking? That's hilarious to me. Everyone who comments that ish on here, i'm so in tears over that comment. What's next? "Black men are selling drugs?! WHAT?! I don't know any Black men who sell drugs."

      And remember this, stereotypes come from somewhere.

      1. Well, I do recall reading one of your articles in the past when you referenced an awkward stage (in high school) and you mentioned that black girls didn't look your way which is why you started looking to other races of women to date, unless of course I'm mistaking you for another writer on this site. If so, I apologize.

        Secondly, when I said I don't know where that notion began, what I meant to say is that the women that I surround myself with and that I know, know their ways around the kitchen very well — and I guess this just goes back to what I said about the type of women you attract or may have surrounded yourself with.

        There are women from many races that don't know how to boil water without burning it and their men or other men from other races turn a blind eye to it, but I won't get specific because it really is meaningless.

        By the end of the day, you will feel whatever way you choose to feel, but your thoughts are not the thoughts of all men and I just wanted to put that out there for women who find themselves doubting themselves just because the men that claim to not want them for certain reasons are more vocal than the men that do.

        1. Not me, not this site. I actually know of another site where there was a post like that, but it wasn't this one.

          Second, as I said in my response to last week's comments, it's very dangerous to consider our immediate environment to be the reality, ESPECIALLY when we know there is another side to the story. That's why you have the issues that pop up because people say, "oh well i'm not doing it, must not be a problem."

          Lastly, you don't have to let any of the female readers on this site know that there are men who don't think like me. They know that. And in their defense, what gives you the feeling that they somehow doubt themselves? These women don't doubt themselves.

          (Now I feel like Mayweather explaining to y'all why Mosley is actually a good fighter. Don't disrespect my competition! Makes me look wack. LMAO.)

        2. "These women don’t doubt themselves."

          Why do I feel like you were chuckling to yourself when writing this? LOL

  20. Jay,

    There are black women out there that do doubt themselves when they are constantly bombarded with reasons via publications, newscast, etc., as to why black men don't date other black women, it would be naive to think otherwise. It may not be the women that are frequent visitors of this site, it may be a woman that is just perusing through the web and stumbles upon your article, it is available on the world wide web isn't it?

    Just as your article is informative, a comment can be just as informative and affirmative.

    And I am well aware that my environment may not be a reality, never said it was. But you are not the first writer to point out that the reason why black men date outside of their race is because black women don't cook. And I think that is inaccurate and more an opinion and less a fact.

    At any rate, when it comes to dating outside of someone's race I don't have a problem with it. I date out of my race often for no particular reason besides the fact that I am simply attracted to that other person.

    1. *raises hand*

      I'm the Black woman who doesn't cook. But guys, really, I'm the only one. Every other Black woman I know can throw down in a kitchen. So enough with the stereotype. I can cook. I just hate it.

      Ladies, apparently it IS a deal breaker…I had man list that as one of my "wife-able" qualities. When I asked "what would happen if I didn't cook?" He said "I'd buy you cookbooks…"

      1. FINALLY! I HATE cooking, LOATHE it, there just something about that room of the house that I can't stand being in. Phew! I knew I wasn't the only one. Yes, I know how. Yes, I can feed myself, but no I will not cook….every day/week. I told my mother the only way I will marry is if the man is a chef or at least likes to think he's one. hmpf!

        I haven't had any problems yet in this area with men. I've found some of my gentlemen to be really good cooks! =)

        1. It's not a dealbreaker, in fact, as i've stated before i'm an only child and most of my hobbies are things that people do by themselves. Cooking being one of them. I'm in the kitchen on my Top Chef, and because of it, I really don't like having other people cook for me because after taking culinary training, shadowing chefs, and spending gwop on kitchen supplies, I don't want someone in my kitchen fiddling around or poisoning me with their poor cooking. I've learned not to dissect someone else's cooking or suggest things they try different the next time, but still given the option i'm going to cook.

        2. Then with all of that yap, if you don't even want a Black woman in your kitchen, why are you spreading a lie that we don't cook?

          Because honestly? I learned to cook in 4 or 5 different Latin cuisines because I learned gradually – through hearing brothers like you come all out of your mouths with "Black women don't cook" – that the Latin brothers appreciate my skills in that area more than "bruthas" do. And this Black Caribbean sister will cook for a man who appreciates it … but she certainly won't do it for one that won't.

      2. I agree with you HLBB because I cook and I love to do it. I am the oldest girl of 6 children and always had to do it. However, I do know a lot more women that "loathe" cooking but they are not all black. That IMHO is another generalization.

  21. I have a question:

    Over the years I have been mistaken for Cuban, Puerto Rican, Colombian and most commonly, Dominican – even BY Dominicans, IN the Dominican…I can understand a basic convo, and Sophia Vegara when she speaks English, which might lend to the confusion.

    Once, I had a brother step to me in a Latin club, we danced for a bit, and of course he asked where I was from. After guessing every Spanish-speaking island, I revealed to him that my parents were Bajan and Jamaican and there was no Latino in my bloodline. Dude "suddenly" remembered that he had to make a call… SMH

    So I ask you this: what if the sister looks Latina?

    p.s. yes, I've dated Latino men…

    1. I'm not sure what to tell you… I think that "sisters" who look Latina will benefit from being able to play both sides of the fence and leave the burden of proof on the men. All that to say;

      What about "sisters" who pass as white?

      What about Latinas who pass as white?

      What about Asian-American women who pass as white?

      The burden of proof is on the prosecution. I won't rat you out, so you can keep going to the Latin clubs.

      1. Hahaha…

        No need to rat me out…I don't pretend to be anything other than I am! I go to the Latin clubs because I love salsa, bachata and merengue.

  22. I'd love to hear this from the opposite end. Perhaps invite a guest Latina blogger and let her tell you what they really think of all the attention they're getting from Black men.

  23. Interesting. I worked with a guy from South Africa and get this–he was white. What does that have to do with today's topic? Well, it would be ignorant of me to assume that everyone from Africa is of the dark complexion just like it would be ignorant of me to assume Black Men are obsessed with Latinos. I think it's a person's personal choice and it doesn't mean the majority of Black men are like what's talked about in today's post.

  24. I believe Black Men are obsessed with Latin women and I love it. I am Puertorican. I prefer to date Black Men. I love their style and skin. I love their masculinity. I love how they express themselves. I love their strength. And I'm glad that they love us too.

    I enjoy being thick but not fat, with olive skin, and long flowing chocolate brown hair and being able to walk into a room of black men and recieve a response. Im grateful for the connections I've made with some of them. Very passionate. I think Hispanic women bring out the lover in a Black Man. I enjoy being mildly submissive. It is wonderful to be a woman and to serve your man his meal and f*** him right.

    Insecure black women usually hate me and I know this. I dont mind, I find it amusing.

    1. And truthfully, the Black women that hate on Latinas dating Black Men should focus more on the many Black men that are open to dating them. The more we women concentrate on how to improve ourselves as lovers, the larger our dating pool will be and the more attractive we become. And "lover" means being stimulating in all areas, intellectually and physically.

      I have so many men to choose from that I dont have to hate on anyone else. Women, who have their pick of men, arent concerned with what the next female is doing;-)

      1. Hating on others solely for whom they chose to date or are attracted to are just insecure. At this point, as long as a woman is health-conscious, self-sufficient, educated, has a sense of humor and some basic common sense I don't care what her race is…


    2. enjoy your black man now deary black men are very fickle , remember in the 90s they were attracted to asian women? you hardly ever see that kind of union now days the same will go for hispanic women you will bite the dust to. lmbao.

  25. Many of your points are right on the money. Ultimately though, black men pick from the choices that are given to them. Prejudices such as skin complexion do play a role in how you meet a black celebrity. So if there are mostly Latin and White women at the night clubs, social events or movie sets, black men will have to choose from that dating pool. If you go to a predominately black neighborhood or black social gathering, this is a non-issue. In general, you have some black men who will date only Latin women, but this is far from a majority.

  26. Hey Dr. J,

    I am hosting a pillow talk in February of 2011 and I would love to use your blogs or any background information that you base your information on. I haven't set what we will discuss but I would be honored if I could get some feedback from you.

    Contact me at [email protected]

  27. I'm a Latina and I love black men. All my ex-boyfriends have been black. My current boyfriend is black. I'm attracted to them, its MY preference. However I've never gone out with a Latino..

  28. I identify as black however my mother is mixed (Puerto Rican, White and black). I have read the whole post and many of the comments.

    Heres my opinion…

    I think guys are just obsessed with exotic women. whoever is not the norm in their everyday environment. long hair light skinned green and hazel eyes just dont come very often in black genes. Examples of this has been shown through many of the above comments. With that said even for latin women who speak spanish and live the whole latin culture if she does not look exotic then it may be a deal breaker for some black men.

    Prime example, many people always ask me why I have a puerto rican flag and I respond that I am proud of my culture. Their next response is something like "aint you black?" or "then if your Spanish why is your hair so short?" However ALL of my younger sisters (have 7 of them) each looks exotic and will be the desired women that men will drool over when they are older. They never get asked questions such as these and are free to claim whatever race they choose. Then these same black men claim they wont ever date a dark woman or a woman with short hair.

    A true Latina understands the fact that although latinos are not viewed as an actual race they want to be viewed as the ethnicity they associate with because they are proud of it.

    Basically what im trying to say is that until we love who we are then we cant expect black men or any body else to change the way they view black women. The media has made the exotic woman a prized type in the black community because its different and scarce. However, If we continue to let ignorant black men put these types of women on a pedestal without having love for ourselves then there will never be any change.

  29. I am latina and I find this to be true. I dont like black guys unless their full-blown latinos. I think black-american guys are weird! I think all american men are weird. I don't like loud guys or guys with bold features. I'm into shy feminine fashionable men but they are all GAY. I am fucked.

  30. I think everybody is the same latina black cbinese who gives ah shitt what u r we r all the same but I got to say im Puerto Rican and theres no duplicates of me im one of a kind

  31. I think everybody is the same latina black cbinese who gives ah shitt what u r we r all the same but I got to say im Puerto Rican and theres no duplicates of me im one of a kind yeah i am and im latina and i love black men especially if they r tall slim goody like me

  32. A latina can be black, white and anything in between. It's not a race, it's an ethnicity. I think you may be referring to a mestiza. Anyway, my feeling is a lot of black men are obsessed with not dating black women with atypical west african features – in other words – most black women in america.

    They are obsessed like all men with dating what is considered a conventionally "hot" woman. That woman is usually light skinned with naturally straight, long-flowing hair. The type of women to be found in Victoria's Secret catalogues, Maxim, King, Playboy and the media – the arbiter of what amkes a woman sexy.

    Unfortunately the garden-variety black woman is furthest away from that ideal. I know I am. I wear my own hair in a curly little twa, I'm the color of a hershey bar, and I have medium brown eyes. I'm pretty, but I also know my look isn't appealing to 99.9 % of black men. But that's ok cause I'm married to a white guy and not out of bitterness or anything like that. He stepped up.

  33. Latina is an ethnicity, it has nothing to do with ones race. There are black latinas, white latinas, mixed latinas white and black and indian latinas. For example, in the Dominican Republic and Brasil.

    There is a strong African Diaspora presence. Meaning the majority are black. Just because they speak spanish or portuguese does not change their race. As I said, Latino(a) is an ethnicity and just that. So black is black. It's just different cultures and different languages. Nothing more.

  34. I don't know about all black men but I do know that 90% of the men who approach me are black. I do agree that there might be preconceived notions of us being more submissive but that varies from family to family. For example I grew up hearing my parents fighting all the time so I never saw a functional relationship. Now I have no desire to date anyone (let alone marry) if I'm going to end up just like my parents. I'm also a lesbian. But a black man who sees me on the street might think that I'm a straight girl who grew up in a loving family that catered to men. He might think that I love to cook and clean all the time and that I always like to dress sexy. So a lot of times they're only going by myths and physical appearance. Nothing more.

  35. "They seem to drop Black women like an old kickball and move onto the new shiny thing they see. "

    John: Quite an asinine statement…when the overwhelming majority of Black men…..are either married to or dating Black women.
    Stats say you're WRONG.

  36. I'm a black male and really and Ima say this once I DON'T GIVE A Fuck what people say and think.I am more attracted to more latina girls than white or black girls, and I don't know why I just am.Latinas I think are so beautiful and hot Independant and very smart people.

  37. they always say that latino is not a race,that black is black. ok. but latino are a group of races that see each other as one. in america you all were and still are segregated.while in latin america and the carribbean everybody mixed, and the cultures are more stronger and solid than the american culture.I myself am a latino(PUERTORICAN/ECUADORIAN)AND AFRICAN AMERICAN MEN. and i say that its true i live in nyc. and latinas from all over either white,meztizo,native exotic,or black exotic are all over. and when you see african american women ,you can tell that they dont belong with the latina group,because they the ones with weaves 24/7,fake lashes and nails,have big masculine butts and features.LATINAS AINT LIKE THAT.there real feminine,natural,even the black latinas have the same silky long hair as white,and meztizo latinas. that even though its not a race,but you can still tell that they have that ora around them, that spice to them. yeah latinas could be and look black,but they dont look african american black,they look exotic black. so accept it, latinos see themselves like that and are bonded by culture and family,something african americans forgot about.

    1. Im brasilian born and raised but my father is from the states,Im not sure what happend in my gene pool but I didnt get the long silky hair, but my African-american bestfriend did, and I got that big masculine butt just like my Brasilian mother.I think you need to step outside of NYC because your steotypes are so wrong.

  38. I dont think black men are at all "obsessed" with just latinas we are obsessed with women from any race that we are attracted to,no matter what race she is if your getting everything you want from a women that doesnt mean she has to be either black or latina theres indian women,asian women,white women,all these women are human they just have different morals and was raised different not all black women have that attitude but the majority do,sad thing is they never admitt they have the attitude once you say they do an argument comes along but if you say the same thing to a latina they laugh and say yeah we do have an little anger problem why cant black women do the same instead of always playing victim in every situation they get in.Imma black man and imma admitt it I love latinas but I dont love them no more than I love women of my own race.The only thing is I have yet to find a black women that I can have a good relationship with,to much attitude,always got something smart to say its just rediculous,now once again because I know some black women are gunna comment and say "us black women……………." I said I love all women equal because at any day a women can come into my life and she can be black and have the best attitude and all that I just have yet to find that and I feel like I never will.

  39. I am latina from Argentina and I always admired black men and women. I think their features are beautiful. I would love to marry a black man over a white or latino. That's my preference.

  40. Hey there are a Black man I have to say i am not OIbsessed with Latina or Hispanic women, however after dealing with white women and black women, Hispanic is my choice. I am very selective in what i want to grow old with. Not necessarily in terms of body or skin tone, but more along the lines for culture. I am a Dominican, but i dont know about my culture so mixing with a hispanic who takes her culture serious will be great.

  41. Why is this a topic? What attracted me to click on this link was to see what foolishness people have to say this time about black women and black men. I actually want to make a general statement to the dumbass black men and women who know nothing about their history and who they are so its easy for them to be manipulated into believing things about THEMSELF as a race, rather than who you are as an individual. Society constantly puts images of black people NOT just men with other races. THis is called PROMOTION , they are trying to implant this way of thinking to turn aa’s away from eachother, diluting the race, and hopefully this time breaking down OUR race cause slavery didn’t abolish us. Sorry did someone say WIll Smith isn’t black? Ooo ok I get it now. Wait… No I don’t’ cause will Smith is a nigger and if u hav black in you so are you. Black people need to accept themselves and respect themselves and eachother before anyone ese will do so. Stop walking around with headraps, 3 brite hair colors, and 300 extra pounds. Black men stop depending on your babymothers welfare cheques for an income, fiish SOME sort of education and don’t’ kill anypne. I hope that offended a lot of people because this is what society thinks of you and well really someonetimes it’s not far from the truth. And if a guy wanted me cause my hair turns curly when its wet then that’s not the guy I want to be with anyways because I don’t date half wits.

  42. I've been attracted to Latinas since I was a kid…. I just like how they talk , how most of em look and they cater to there men no back talk , submissive , & sexy…… Im not gonna bash black woman but i'll speak true facts. I was always turned down by black woman bcuz I was "too dark" lol but the Latina gurls always loved my skin tone and made compliments all the time. It's common I leaned towards where I was wanted even though the feelings were mutual… I like gurls w/pretty feet… Lata women usually take care of there feet havin 'em on point but i've seen black gurls w/sum tore up ass feet making me wanna barf!!! I like to suck my woman's toes while we're F'ng so feet & toes is important to me lmao!!! Latina women have less of a negative attitude , There fiery but they know there place as a woman and thats what attracks me to Latinas. Im from Cali… But when I went to Atlanta GA… I learned and I was educated that Black gurls got it goin on as well in many areas… Its all about where u at and the population I guess. Theres sum busted up latinas as we as sum busted up black woman just like both races has sum beauty as well…. If she looks good Imma beat that Pu**y Up lol!!! Add me on facebook: davidadams831/facebook. com

  43. Spanish women are very sought after in Europe by Brits, Swedes and French men especially. When I say Spanish, I mean Spain of course. They love the typical sofia vergara body, great sense of humor, family values, fiery personality, and again, family values. They also love the fact that Spanish women have a great reputation for being quite tough and withstanding a tremendous amount of hardship and pressure. Please see the worldbook encyclopedia on Spain article about the infamous Spanish character.

    I am Spanish and can attest to the fact that Europeans find Spanish women quite desirable, not so though with mestizos or mulattos from the new world. Europeans prefer European women, in general.

    Black men think that I am pretty in this country because of the long dark hair, light skin, nice features and very nice thin arms, excellent waist to hip ration and full round breasts. However, I personally think that black men prefer the blonde blue eyed woman as they have a "need" to lighten themselves. I am not saying this to be mean, it is just that it seems that blacks do not like dark skin and black people's hair. They seem to prefer lighter skinned people in general.

    By the way, Spanish women can be blond blue eyed and pale as any nordic, but I happen to be the typical dark Spanish woman ( penelope cruz dark).

    All men, though, seem to like the fact that Spanish women can be very witty and funny and fiery. This is different from the typical nordic girl who is usually not "fun." I think this is the part that is the most attractive to the men because they are not used to laughing so much with a girl…..

    I know that I once had a South Koren man ask me whether I went home and thought of the jokes before the next day. He wanted to know whether I practiced being funny at home and went home and researched. I thought this was funny in and of itself. Being funny has a lot to do with being witty, confident, and happy. It has to do with being spontaneous, bubbly and it does not have to do with preparation unless you are the stand up comedian. He said that he did not know that women could be funny and he thought I was extremely interesting, almost bizarre, but bizarre in a good way of course. I explained to him that I am like a bottle of champagne and when I am happy the bubbles just come to the surface and pop. The bubble coming to the surface is the witty remark, funny face, or other funny thing that I do. The popping is the right timing and the effect of getting others to laugh. I explained to him that I was bubbly but Spaniards are expected to be bubbly/funny full of life or others think that we are dimwitted, depressed,………….This is Spanish culture.

    So to answer are black men obsessed with Latinas, I would problably say that the Latina fire is something that they, like all men, would like to experience. I do not just mean sleeping with one. I also mean talking to one as it tends to be fun. I think black men are obsessed with marrying the lightest female, period, though, soas to have the lightest children possible. This is my two cents.

  44. Latina women more submissive. I think not. LOL Just ask John Bobbit who's ex wife was Latina. She cut off his dick when she found out he was cheating. If they don't do that they will either try to knock you out or tell there brothers to jump you. I know a guy who had to drink out of a straw after his chick told her brothers that she got hit by her man. There is nothing submissive about these women. They are hot and fiery but that can also be a bad thing. Usually they are more family oriented though but that is not submissive. They are brought up to put family first. This is why their brothers will nearly kill you if you fuck with their sister.

  45. Yep i have to agree with your comments, my younger brother who immigrated to the U.S. four years ago has had three serious relationships with Latin women, one of whom he has a child with, the second who broke up with him is now in a relationship with another black guy, And my brother has recently married his third. So go figure!

  46. As a Hispanic (dominican) woman, i think the attraction is mutual, reason being that the hispanic woman is essentially a black woman who speaks spanish… all the attraction to black women is there… with a slight twist. the same goes for a hispanic woman's attraction to a black man, I find that my attraction to black men is based out of the fact that they are almost like dominican…except that he appreciates my culture (& spicy personality) because its not something he is used to.

    p.s im a dominican girl with a straight up black name… my grandmother named me, & she dosn't speak a lick of english…

  47. I know this topic is an old one, but I'm intrigued, and here's why. I'm personally effected everyday by the challenges that come with dating a Black man. I'm a light skin Latina (Puerto Rican) woman in love and married to a Black man. In the past I had relationships with Latin men as well as Caucasian. I can't speak in general, but I know from my experience that the way we were raised, and the similarities, and differences in our cultures have been the recipe for a wonderful, healthy loving relationship.

    For example my husband tells me he was brought up with the expectation that being a man means being the protector and provider in his household, treat his woman like a queen, his sisters or daughters will always be allowed to live at home and are raised to expect to be treated like queens. His brothers/sons will be raised to know that when they are of age they have to be men and build a home of their own. Don't even get me started on the romance and the appreciation for a woman's beauty. My man loves that I work out, take care of myself and never leave the house less than well put together.

    As a Latin woman I was raised to know how to cook, clean, take care of siblings, especially brothers and most importantly hold the men in my family in high regard. Growing up the children were served first, my dad was given the "big piece of chicken" and my mom ate last (if there was any left) when there wasn't she claimed to not be hungry. I was raised to be strong, educated, work hard and smart, never have to need a man in order to live comfortably, but absolutely need a man to live happy. The same expectation and responsibility was not placed on the shoulders of the men, only the women. All of that being said in my relationships with Latin men, I found that they expected to be treated like kings, and didn't need to give anything in return. They were possessive and I hate to say it lazy. They did not like seeing a woman looking fine, and sexy, working out, etc. God forbid another man find their woman attractive.

    I guess what I am saying is yes I do serve my man his plate of food before I eat, yes he does get the big piece of chicken. I pick my battles, and let him be a man. I know i don't want to be the man, it's hard enough being a woman. In exchange my man appreciates that I serve him, he doesn't expect it. When I do choose my battle he listens, because he knows I don't argue to win, I argue to get resolve. I am proud to be the woman behind that man because at the end of the day, he puts me first. My family absolutely love him, and for the most part his family loves me. We've embraced each others cultures and we are better for it. I cook soul food as well as spanish food. I learned how to step and he can salsa better than I do! We are both successful individuals, who bring 100% to the table. 1 household, 1 budget. We respect our individual space and expenses, as long as the household comes first. I'll say it again it's a wonderfully, healthy relationship, no violence, or cheating, or battle of sexes.

    I've dealt with the back lash from Black women who swear I took the last brotha on earth. My question is why?!? It's as if they assume if he wasn't with me that particular man would choose them, and I'm in the way. I get the nasty comments or stares. Now I'm not saying all sista's just the ones who don't know me. I would really like to know why? Hoping a well rounded, educated sista with no bias in her heart can answer that question for me.

  48. Does it really matter? Let's see if Black men can get a job and keep a job! As I see it all the latino men are getting the jobs. Maybe that's their payback to black men. But, I guess latino women and asian women too don't mind bringing in the money just to keep that non-working blackman!

  49. I agree. I always hear black men complain about the reason they stop dating black women. 1. Their mouth and attitude torwards everything. 2. They usually don’t supporter mean in the things that they want to do. 3. and nowadays they don’t want to cook or clean they usually leave it all to their husband. 4. the biggest problems with black women is that they want to run the household and be the man in the relationship and not step back and allow their man to be the man that they need to be and grow as a person. I’m a Latino woman who’s msrried to a wonderful black man and he treats me like a queen as I love taking care of my husband very well I cook I clean and I still work but he also will cook and clean too. no man from any culture wants a woman who just wants to take and never give back. Marriage and relationship is about a 50/ 50. But most importantly I back him up on any decision he may have as far as business goes and if I Strongly disagree I tell him why and research why I disagree. My husband and I share the same interests as far as things that we want in life.and when we do have a disagreement its not resulted in yelling screaming and cursing at one another it is a mature discussion and I keep our arguments very private behind closed doors not in public. and ladies man have a ego’zs and that needs to be filled once in awhile. and ladies remember this withholding sex from your man its not a good idea.that was the 5th complain from men.

  50. I think all the reasons that you many jones for black men liking Latinas are rascist. We Latinas, just like black women, are strong minded, independent, hard working females. We are educated and classy…you like what you like. There doesn’t have to be a reason.

    1. Sorry all misspelled…damn phone. Should have read “mentioned” not many jones. Also…we latina women are NOT submissive. We run our households…weak men…which is why we date out of our race. The whole “real” hair caramel skin and just a more proportioned body argument is nice…but I think black men like us because we are not at the club “turned” up or “twerking” Or always trying to get in someones face. We are at home taking care of our shit and our children while also attending school and working. I always said there are many things that could be said about a latina, all opinion based. But one remains true…we are hard working mother f’ers. These black men don’t need women to baby them and throw then in the street, they need women who will give them direction. That woman doesn’t have to be latina or black. She just has to have her head where it’s supposed to be.

  51. black just dont want to be black. as soon u accept that and breeds yourselves out with seld esteem non blacks that are willing to lowet their genes for you..and.yes latina women make beautiful.children but its takes both latino man and women to create the beautiful latina not black. infact when they mix with blacks the kids still looks like.blcks. And in latin american blacks.are at the bottom of the racial status. in brazul blacks dont want to be called blcks even the mullatos dont want.to be associates with black blood. people latin america are trying to whiten their blood not blacken it. and for the kenyan guy i doubt.if etniopian women date blacks they call ubaria or bantu because they of your features and owned you as slaves

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  54. M i think you caln find good ans bad in every one but i recent felp in love with a black angel who i cant complain about he fulfill my eveey need emotionally sexually final i have to say i have never felt like this in my own race.

  55. This is a silly argument because many latina women ARE black. Brazil is a majority black country. Costa Rica, Panama and Colombia have millions of black women. Once again, I think traveling to these countries is the best way to get an honest opinion on the matter.

    I expect Black American women to be threatened because latina women know how to treat their men. Let’s face it: American women in general treat men like trash.

    The stuff I see nowadays is crazy. Over 50% divorce rate. The rise of the “step” parent. Men fighting over women in their 60’s. Paying money to talk over Tinder. Doing favors so they hope to get a sniff of a woman’s peehole. I could go on and on but it’s pointless because brothas without passports have no idea what they are missing.

    Black American women treat us like shit so it only makes sense that we look elsewhere. Latinas come in all different colors: black, brown, white, blonde, etc. Who cares?

    I say let American women have their illegal immigrants, arabs, white men and black lapdogs. Trust me: these guys are prisoners in the relationships. American women are more like slave drivers than wives. LOL

    If you fellas want to see what a real black women acts like, then get your passport and try it out for yourself. Did I mention that 95% of the world’s black women live OUTSIDE of America? Plenty of choices out there.

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  57. I love all races of men. But I am with a black men right now. He is the best men I known. He is so sweet and kind. But black men love all races of woman. But blacks marry black woman. I get bad looks from all races of people and especially whites and blacks and Asians and other Hispanics. But I always tell my black men I always love you no matter what people say or hateful they look at us. If anything was to happen to my beautiful black king. I don’t known. But I will do anything to Protective him and my love for him. It’s not easy for us Latino’s woman to date a black man. Why? Because both blacks and Latinos woman get treated poorly and we are always judge by the way we look and so on. But I feel in love with a black man and I will never feel a shame of my black lover. Even though I get treated badly by some people. I still love people of all races. No matter what because I don’t want to have hate in my heart. It’s not a good feeling.


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