Home Dating & Relationships Rules of Engagement The unofficial SBMDOTORG guide to internet discretion: 2010

The unofficial SBMDOTORG guide to internet discretion: 2010


dis·cre·tion  (d-skrshn)


1. The quality of being discreet; circumspection.

2. Ability or power to decide responsibly.
3. Freedom to act or judge on one’s own: All the decisions were left to our discretion.

If you take a look around the internet, it seems as though individuals just don’t give a fcuk about privacy. Twitter expose’s, facebook status testimonials, and numerous other instances show that people have no more discretion left in this world. In a time where technological advances occur rapidly, we must remain cognizant of our personal information and “incriminating evidence” that can be easily accessible on the internet for an eternity. Thankfully, myself and the good folks here at SBM will provide some guidelines to discretion for the modern era:

Any pics/videos you send can and will be used against you

While I revel in the artistic beauty of #TittyTuesdays and #ThongThursdays on twitter, I could never understand how women would send those type of pics and post them on the internet. What’s worse is when you send these pics to men that you know, making an improper judgement of their character. Next thing you know, you’re P-Poppin personal photo is the pride and joy of his entire crew!

Men, you aren’t any better. This new phenomenon of sending pictures of your shlong to women… when did this start?! When did this become hot in the streets?! You idiots, let me tell you a secret: All her girlfriends have seen that pic, all of her gay friends have seen that pics, and all of her platonic male friends know that you “be sending yo DYCK all on the net”! They especially clown if you’re packing a pea shooter bro. Not.Cool.

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It’s even worse with these videos. You  lowkey have blue movies shot of unsuspecting men and women #everydayb.  Candid camera is alive and well in 2010. Ask K*t St*cks, it’s not that hard to shoot a video and incriminate an unsuspecting individual. Smarten up y’all!

My Advice: If you MUST send these pics, at least take your face out of them! That way you can deny deny DEE-NYE any pics that may trickle onto these here internets. If you post these pics of your own free will, don’t be mad when people you don’t want to see you in spread eagle ask about your trip to Mardi Gras… Sheeit I mean ask Brett Favre about discretion

Text messages are a recipe for disaster

In 2010, we are a bunch of text messaging, BBMing, GChatting, Pinging, and emailing individuals. These short messages can carry conversations for hours as we look to multitask. Hell, some people don’t even like to talk on the phone anymore! With this convenient method of communication, we also have gotten lax and comfortable in the TYPES of conversation.

People do dirt daily. Not everybody has a written record of said dirt. When you dudes looking to setup a rendezvous with your #1 side chick, or you ladies don’t want Ray Ray finding out about your one night with Leon that “you didn’t count because you didn’t c*m”, you leave yourself vulnerable to the #swindle. For people with smart phones, you can now screen capture, forward texts, send text conversations via email, save chats on the computer, or a host of other ways to keep information secure just in case you need to ether someone. How many stories have you heard about a email chain forward in an office that got someone fired? Let’s not forget the AIM Window Oops Factor (AWOF). The AWOF takes you to the day when an AIM window with a new message would pop-up while you were typing to someone else. Imagine typing a message to a shorty about how she rode you something crazy last night, only to have your GF reply “I wasn’t there what are you talking about?!” Yeah, NOT the business. I’ve mistakenly texted wrong people (stories for another day) so I know about this pitfall all too well

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My Advice: Do what you do, but be SMART! Show proper due diligence when sending text messages of any kind so you don’t have to yell oops.

Computer Etiquette

If I had a dollar for every story I heard about a woman catching a man cheating because he used HER computer to chat with other women, or look at naked pics, I’d be a multi thousandaire. When will people learn that saving passwords, downloading pictures onto a computer, internet browsing history, and other aspects of computer use are as easy to conceal as they are to be discovered? I mean, I’ve heard stories of dudes leaving PHOTO ALBUMS of other chicks on their wifey’s computer. Let that marinate for a second. There might not be any helping these people but I will try.

My Advice: Use your own computers…or read a book.

I know I’m not the only one to notice these internet transgressions. You guys got any other examples or tips?


  1. They especially clown if you’re packing a pea shooter bro. Not.Cool.

    ^^^I thought of that picture of the dude's peen that went viral! LMAO!

    I’ve mistakenly texted wrong people (stories for another day) so I know about this pitfall all too well

    ^^^So do i, lol!

    You pretty much covered it all for me! You are a mess but funny! Great post Streetz!

  2. "If you MUST send these pics, at least take your face out of them! That way you can deny deny DEE-NYE.."

    Co-sign, co-sign, co-sign! If I wasn't so put off by the stupidity, I'd feel bad for these folks who inevitably end up in my inbox or on youtube/wshh/hotghettomess.

    It's a pandemic of no sense.

    I've lost count of the number of people who have had their Facebook wide open for years and seem surprised when I explain that mine has always been on lock down. You don't know me, you don't find me, which is exactly how I want it. The blank stares prompt me to explain that the photos of them making questionable gestures, grinding with Joe Smith, kissing Kate Jones and elegantly painting the club wall with vomit are accessible to more than their friend list, including but not limited to: their employer, their family, their friends, their enemies, their pastor & anyone else that had a mind to look them up.

    If you don't want it seen by the entire interwebz, don't send/upload it.

  3. Simple.

    Leave no evidence. I don't put sh!t past anyone. Anyone is capable of anything.

    I don't let anyone use my personal laptop. For any kinda reason. Not even my dad. I made a guest account. There. Use that.

  4. "This new phenomenon of sending pictures of your shlong to women… when did this start?! When did this become hot in the streets?! You idiots, let me tell you a secret: All her girlfriends have seen that pic, all of her gay friends have seen that pics"

    Now now Streetz don't discourage the man dem from sending pics if that's what they want to do. That's a beautiful thing. <del>Although yes you're right I do show them to all my friends, including my gay work husband.</del>

    1. I think for guys, It's a lil different. If you are packing, you have NO problem w/ her showing her friends. Hell if anything, you think it may increase your chances with that one friend she doesn't trust but keeps in the circle anyways. If and when there is a break-up, said friend will remember that picture and request verification.

    2. Bwhahahaha… @ Max. I can't handle the schlong pics. I just can't. And men NEVER warn you that's whats coming your way. You open your inbox and BAM. I remember scarring a lil cousin like that. She was playing w/ my phone in the church parking lot and in comes a schlong pic. The chile still ain't right.

      1. I don't get these pics often, only from my girls that like to show me DC's finest every so often…..

        I reluctantly look at them a few times before I press delete……

        1. Uhhhhh….my son loves scrolling thru my phone pics….wouldn't this be something:

          Son: Dad, look at this!

          Husband: WTF?

          Now, I have to explain that…..let's just say I enjoy living and I like to keep drama levels at a minimum.

  5. I remember one time during my Freshman yr in college, I was showing my then gf pictures from a charity dinner. Little did I realize that I didn't hide a picture of a 3-way kiss b/t me and two of my homegirls and individual pics of me 'pretending' to kiss on their necks.

    That was the first and only time I was rightfully smacked in my face by a woman that was not related to me….

    ::rubs cheek::

  6. This is why I like my technology old skool. You not gone catch me in this foolishness with Tubbs (my cell phone, last seen on Miami Vice running around with Crockett). Low tech FTW.

    Plus, folks LIKE getting caught these days, lol. Doing power point presentations and whatnot of all the dudes they bang. Taping themselves talking to their man while giving another dude some head. Many a girlfriend who has a teenager has been able to track and punish their child because they wanted to brag about their foolishness on facebook. Posting pics with ganja smoke coming out their nose. Holding drinks underage. Clearly post coital in a towel on a bed when they shoulda been in school. They snitch on themselves! Many times my girls and I have laughed because the most you might get on us was a polaroid back in the day.

  7. "I’ve mistakenly texted wrong people (stories for another day) so I know about this pitfall all too well"

    Definitely. Then, as the realization slowly takes over your brain in slow motion, you instantly understand that you're f*****d. #FML. Been there, done that. My mom texts as well now. I DELETE her texts EVERY time, just in case I send her something she really didn't want to know.

    "All her girlfriends have seen that pic, all of her gay friends have seen that pics, and all of her platonic male friends know that you “be sending yo DYCK all on the net”! They especially clown if you’re packing a pea shooter bro. Not.Cool."

    I've been the recipient , voyeur viewer, and the sharer.

    Last paragraph- no comment.

    Good post!

  8. Well Facebook is something that I never really understood. Why do I want to maintain contact with every bamma I ever knew for the rest of my life. LOL I mean I just don't get it. What ever happend to growing up. Do I really need to maintain a relationship with that girl that wouldn ufck me in 10th grade?

    But anyway. Yeah, that little check box that says "I agree to terms and conditions." If you don't know already you've agreed that Facebook can do whatever they heck they want anytime they want with your pictures and information.

    I have no Facebook page. And me and my crew from my youth were pretty street smart…..we never photographed ourselves breaking any laws and we broke plenty. The most that is out in cyberspace on me is some drunken pictures from the club.

    As far as discretion I have also learned not to tell stories exactly as they happened or give to many details. In the past I've thought of the internet as being anonoymous but you can ID people sometimes by the stories they tell, where they went to school etc.

    Finally I will say another part of discrestion is just watching who you associate with. In particular who you get naked around. Because some people are just shady. I repeat….some people are just shady. I knew dudes in college that would think nothing of snapping a naked picture of a girl sleeping in there bed. (These are usually the same guys that date rape drunk passed out females.) I'm sure there are females that do the same thing. Not to mention you can buy covert cameras on the internet and record anything. I mean these days, if someone wants to catch you on camera…there are ways to do it. So just watch out for shady people.

    1. I hear you on FB but I dont think it's a problem. I grew up with technology and went into the tech field, so I'm pretty careful. Its the evolution of communication but there's nothing wrong with keeping it old school.

      Facebook is cool with me. The Social network was movie of the Year, btw.

      1. Exactly. I grew up on technology and it is just part of who I am. I'm pretty careful on the info that I put out there and how others aren't is beyond me.

  9. this right here. i mean i've sent sclong pics before but i've only sent them to <del>one woman</del> women that i really trust and my face was not included or distinguishable marks (i.e.- brands and tats).

    i might be the only dude who doesn't like #tittaytuesdays

        1. Let me get this st8, on tuesday random girls will post pictures of their chest for the world to enjoy?

          bare chest or bra in the bathroom mirror shot?

          this twitter is something.

        2. I hope someone answers you, I'm wondering the same thing…

          I just can't make myself be a twitterer…although I do lurk on occasion. What? Whitlock cracks my ass up!

        3. Oh there is no fakin the funk on #TittayTuesdays LOL. There are so bra in the bathroom shots, but there are a lot of nekkid BOOBies for everyone to see. The twitter app for my phone pre-loads twitpics by default. I was bombarded so I had to change the settings. O_O

        4. There's:





          Get involved until something moves you, lol.

          Not that I view any of these trending topics.

  10. I think another issue is privacy….. why does everyone want the world to know who they are dating on facebook? All the people who are jealous of your relationship can now go and send this person information about you, them, or lie so you are miserable like them.

    My brother's crazy baby mother sits on facebook everyday and sends his girlfriend information about what kind of car she drives, whats in her closet, what perfume she wears and etc(information she got from her child). Then my brothers girlfriend always gets upset and and comes at him asking how she knows all this about me……how bout if you didnt have your business in the streets she couldnt come at you like that and wouldnt know who you are. Crabs in a barrell.

    1. Yeah…..I never understood why anyone would want to post information in a place where your personal life and work life can possibly intersect. The potential for disaster is too great.

      1. Yea, that is definitely crazy. Like yea, let me put this up on my newsfeed so everybody can ask about it. Then when we break up and both fee like ish lets take it down so everyone can be in our business and throw salt on the wound. lmao

  11. I agree with this entire post! This is why I rarely log on to FB and only text the few REAL peeps in my circle. I never understood the need to get 'in touch' with ppl in high school. I was floored by all the 'friend' requests from kids that were 5 years my junior? Do they even know me?

    I think that most people just want to be nosey and see what you are up to anyway…smh. So I give a lil….very little and keep it moving.

    As far as pics and videos…hmmmmm. If I ever run for office, I may have an issue with this one ex. He got me live and in charge, but since we share a son, hopefully he wouldn't share that because than all his friends WILL be trying to get with the mother of said son…..LOL.

    I do still engage in home-made movies from time to time with the Mr., however, I learned my lesson with a camera phone the hubby lost, I was devastated because of some of my pic text he saved….I hope whomever found the phone DID NOT KNOW US….O.M.G……

  12. I did Cisco networking in HS. Although not doing the computer thing any longer; I've always been and will forever be mindful of internet discretion. I love technology, but refuse to let it get the best of me. I've had txt conversation start to enter into that sexting zone and all you would get from me is a vague reply. I never send nudes but received quite a few lol (men are just so easy…its nothing new Streetz).

    I find that's it the older generation that usually gets caught doing things their not ncessarily supposed to, since many aren't too tech savvy. SMH!

  13. I so don't have to be reminded of the "text message monkey". That bastard got me one night and I should have gotten my ass kicked but thankfully that sweet young lady was mature about it. I just wish she would have told me about it before we went out and I was wanting some love when we got back home. I haven't felt that awful in a long time.

    I'm extra careful of my text message conversations now.

  14. I can't speak for everyone, but I enjoy a good #wangWednesday. Last week, saw a curve that looked like if could kill you and bring you back to life.

    However, I agree that people need to keep some things private. Though, there are people who will do shady shyt, like the guy who recorded his roommate and put it on the internet. Unfortunately, with anonymity, people are very bold on the internet, from posting pics to tearing down another person for simply existing. Its all pretty disgusting…

    1. I always wondered about the victim of shady ish like what happened to your roommate?

      Did she take any legal action to have the pics removed from the sites or against him? Did she call her cousins to beat the snot out of that little violator?

        1. That was effing terrible!!!

          What's even more baffling is that some of the high school kids I work w/ saw it as a practical joke gone wrong o_O

        2. That is SAD! Wow, kids are so mean and now technology makes easier to be cruel.

          Dang. This is why I don't do this I will regret or want others to know about….so if I get put on blast…oh well….I enjoyed it…..So. And?

        3. That mess wasn't even hilarious one bit…and to make matters worse I was under the impression it was a girl and guy who got recorded had no idea it was a ghey rump n shop until a day or two later then he kills himself (18yrs) old, due to embarassment and not wanting his parents to be dissapointed in his lifestyle choice *SMDH* I'm sorry BUT AkBar and SumyoungGal should get life imprisonment. IMHO!!!!!

  15. A post that doesn't attack Black women, or offer an opportunity for Black women to steal the spotlight and put it on them?

    ~20 comments by Noon.


    1. Dr. J "A post that doesn’t attack Black women, or offer an opportunity for Black women to steal the spotlight and put it on them?

      ~20 comments by Noon.


      LQTM. I guess since Hispanic Heritage Month isn't over yet, we'll see if this is true by how many comments we have after your final "I Love Latinas" post tomorrow.

    2. LMAO Jay you know I could care less about post count. I see what you mean though but lets not act like we didn't know that was the case. The Message > at the end of the day.

      PS Next Wed I guarantee 200+ comments, lmao.

    3. Hush all that. I recall 120+ comments on yesterday's post that wasn't negative towards black women, and I don't believe women stole the spotlight either.

      1. @Sane –


        Everyone decided to talk about their dating adventures. You even talked about stoplilght parties if I wasn't mistaken. Funny thing is, after I made that comment, at noon, it ended up being about 90 comments.

        1. "For today, have you attended any dating-oriented events before? Did you find it easy to interact or was it forced? Did you find a potential booski as a result? If you haven’t attended any event like this, what’s kept you from going? Other thoughts and discussion points are welcomed as usual."

          Most of the thread yesterday stayed within these confines, including my comment about stoplight parties which could fit in the category of a singles event. Also the last sentence opened the comments up to other related topics. I was simply pointing out a post that did not have the women taking it over and wasn't negative towards them either. As long as there is a push for discussion, there will be discussion. #thatisall

          So don't go throwin out hashtags so willy nilly, Mr. 🙂

  16. Streetz, this post is bawse.

    Don't forget those privacy settings on those social networking sites and actually READ the privacy policy. All these people that brag about how smart the people in their circle are, SOMEBODY better be able to interpret those privacy policies.

    As a hardcore computer programmer, knowing how all this ish works is scary. While I've not had the interest to be a hacker, I do know enough to safe guard myself from the boss, the boo and the FEDS because bytes don't lie.

    Also, combined with the extreme uniqueness of my name, it's easy find me by googling. I remember when Google used to let you rank search results yourself. I'll just search my name then rank up all the good stuff then rank down any not-so-good stuff that may have slipped through the cracks.

    But you know, when I'm about to say something that provides a hugely professional/intelligent, I use my real name as a moniker since the web spiders crawl through blog sites pretty frequently. So when people search me, there's some evidence of my knowledge in the net.

    It kills me when people don't know how their own computer works. Not saying get a Ph.D. in computer science but d*mn. Know about YOUR belongings. Your car, computer, house, phone, body… That's pretty basic to me.

  17. Additionally I'd just like to put out there that you don't realize how important punctuation is as well as vioce/tone inflection until you don't have it. Sometimes trying to get a message across in a text is a hard way to go. Lol. The opportunity for misintereptation by parties is large.

    Por ejemplo, I was texting a guy friend who I was not smashing but I'm pretty sure that was heavy on his mind. At any rate, we were in the "talking" stage so we were talking like 3-4x times a day… anywho the messages went something like this:

    [Scene: 1:30 AM @ the club]

    Me: Well I'll text you when I get home b/c it's rowdy here.

    Him: Same. I'll talk to you soon.

    [Scene: Home… in bed approx 4:00 AM]

    Me: Well I just got in… pooped.

    Him: On my way home too… should be there in 5.

    … 6 minutes passes…

    Me: Are you in love?

    Him: **crickets**

    … 6 more minutes passes…

    **more crickets**

    Before I drift off to lala-land the Big Man upstairs hit w/ a brain smack and said *In God's voice* Dummy, he thinks you are asking if he is IN love w/ you! Where the fluck was your comma?

    Me: I meant… uhm… Are you in, love? Sorry bout that.

    Him: Oh. Ok. Recovering from heart attack you gave me. Didn't think we were 'there' yet. Told my boys you might a stage 5 clinger… will retract statement.

    Me: *sigh*

    Moral of the story: Commas are there for a reason. Use them.

      1. LOL! Right. I thought things would be awkward after that but he just laughed off and we continued as normal. I was like O_O I can't believe it. I told my girlfriends & from time to time they'll text me and ask if I'm in love. Lol.

    1. I assumed you meant Love (the club) I wouldnt' use love as a term of endearment for a guy I was just "talking to" so that didn't even register to me at all, lol

      1. Maybe He didn't say fluck but I'm pretty sure he used my vodka-drenched subconscious to insert fluck into the message. I'm almost sure He was looking for a certain effect…

        Me half sleep

        Me jumping out of sleep

        Me frantically texting the error of my ways

  18. Seriously I am so glad I am not a teen or young adult today. I would be paranoid. I mean the thought of everyone having a camera all the time. I can only imagine how that might have changed some of the things I did………..If I was young I would probably be like Kanye or Sean Penn…..smashin cameras left and right. LOL Like "Excuse me……didn't I tell you no pictures! Bam!"

    1. Seriously I am so glad I am not a teen or young adult today. I would be paranoid.

      I'm sure most teens and/or young adults either don't think about it or don't care. I don't even look through trending topics anymore, it's always someone's child.

      1. The benefits of a nearly non existent frontal lobe…FTW mentality. Teens fit the definition of mentally handicapped and it shows.

  19. iDied at “deny deny DEE-NYE” Streetz…you need meds. WHY do people still include their faces in their nasty pics?

    I think I mentioned before that I don’t have a Twitter, Facebook page or anything like that. I like my privacy and even debated about putting a face pic up on gravatar.com. I used to have a blog that was open to the public but I shut it down because I became patulous with my personal business. I started posting in my blog about my personal life too often, including some freak nastiness and so I shut it down.

    I was once propositioned by a lover to make “videos”…I have always declined.

    I want to always be looked upon as a lady, at least on the streets because I have a reputation to protect. Also, my Belizean mother would choke me out if she ever caught wind of anything less than respectable.

  20. Me: Well I just got in… pooped.

    Well I had to read that twice cause my first thought was…"That is not sexy" ROFL seriously.

  21. hahaha…. It's funny how only very few have admitted in sending pictures to others… when we all damn well knkow that we've done it more than once… yeah I'm guilty as charged…


    Deny, deny, deny, DEE-NY has been my best friend…

    1. My paranoid a** has never sent anything more than a G-rated picture to anyone. Not even my ex-husband.

      I'm no fool, plus I'm certain now that if I had, he would have had no qualms about sharing it after we split.

    2. I'm guilty as charge.

      As long as my face isn't in it, I am down to hit send with the reckless abandonment you have come to expect from me.

      Its only nudity. If seeing me naked means that much to you than here, BAM. I am not shy or hiding anything.

      Its sad when kids overract to being exposed and take their lives like that Rutgers kid NIA mentioned. I want to grab those kids and let them know that its just their body and they shouldn't be ashamed of it. People will forget. Life goes on. And the fact of the matter is your viewers are way bigger losers for wanting to see you naked than you are for being naked.

      If you happen to see a pic of chubby me in the buff, I feel way more sorry for you than I do for me. Hope your eyes burn.

  22. Good topic.

    Never put anything out on the net you don't want exposed. Any comment or picture made on the net, you should be able to stand behind it. If you're too embarassed to say it or show your face in public, keep it to yourself.


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