I always struggled with writing about Black women in a high light because I always felt like if I wrote a post called, “Why I Love Black Women,” I’d just be accused of jacking for beats. #RIPLumidee. I read a lot of commentary on Black women on the Internet everyday and I’ll admit the amount of bashing of Black women has just gotten flat out ridiculous. The media wants you to believe that there’s something wrong with Black women, but in my honest opinion Black women are perfectly fine. They don’t experience any problems that any other race doesn’t have. They haven’t reached a point where they might die out, need a total makeover, or assistance from President Obama in order to save their kind. They’re just fine!
As a Black urban professional, (whatever that means), I take pride in telling you that Black men and women are excelling in corporate America. Yes, we continue to face issues because of race and discrimination everyday. Yes, there exists some competition within the race, but it’s nothing to say that there is something wrong with professional Black women. And I’ve been in corporate America for a while now, so long that I’m trying to get out, and in my experience, no disrespect to anyone, but an asshole is an asshole. I can’t tell you what an angry Black woman is, because there is no difference amongst the races, maybe they’re just angry women in the world.
Then, mainstream media will convince you that Black women are overweight and have all types of insecurities when it comes to their bodies. In my opinion, Black women have awesome bodies. There will always be women who battle obesity, just like there will always be women who battle anorexia and bulimia. However, if oversized TNA is going out of style, then there’s no evidence to suggest it to me. Also, it’s obvious that Black women are the prototype for beauty. Think about it, why does everyone tan themselves, put on lipstick, work or pay to get a bigger butt. These things that we see as “stereotypical” for Black women aren’t bad at all.
And so I try not to focus on stereotypes too much. I believe that stereotypes come from somewhere, that I won’t deny. I just think that sometimes the stereotypes don’t make any sense. And your tone can determine everything when it comes to stereotypes. Thinking back to Sir-Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back,“ the opening line, “Oh my god Becky, look at her butt, it is so big,” you might feel the disdain in her voice. However, I’ll tell you right now if you overheard this from a couple Black guys, “Dog … enormous, the butt is enormous, own zip code fam, own zip code,” you wouldn’t take that as a diss. A lot of things come down to the way you state them.
When we look at dating and marriage, the statistics are startling. Those statistics don’t really mean much to me though. The way I see it, if a Black woman wants to find a date, she can find a date. She chooses not to date, or she doesn’t have sufficient options. However, I don’t see this to be that serious of a problem. I know women who complain they can’t find a man, but the thing is they are hiding or they’re hiding the part of them that makes them a woman. Black women with their head screwed on straight have no problems finding a man. Black men with their head screwed on straight have no shortage of women to date. When a man complains about Black women and their “issues” or “challenges” as it pertains to dating, I just remind them that they probably are too busy chasing the wrong women. You can’t get mad at a woman for being a dingbat, if you met her in a club at some baller’s VIP section, she’s made it perfectly clear the image she wants to portray is that of a groupie or gold digger. However, I know several attractive, Black women with their priorities in order who are single because dudes are checking for groupies and gold diggers. As it pertains to marriage, people who marry for the “right” reasons are usually successful. I just pray that you and your spouse are on the same page about what those “right” reasons are. They seem to differ so much from person to person.
Another point that I would like to present is that there’s nothing inherently wrong with Black women, but there are some things that make them different, and those things make them better. A lot of times we analyze the actions of Black women to the Nth degree only to tell ourselves that they have issues and pass the blame onto them. We don’t want single women with children …maybe we should work on being better fathers. A high percentage of Black women have STDs … maybe we should practice safe sex and know our status. Black women are too independent … I don’t know about that, seems like they are asking us to love them the right way. Besides, independent women are the bomb. You mean to tell me that I can have a woman who holds her own professionally, comes home and takes care of the family and house, AND she puts something on the bills? And when asked about why she is with me, she says, “I don’t need him, I want him.” That’s sounds like the greatest woman of all time!
As it comes to the bashing by writers, bloggers, comedians and media sources from every angle, I would consider it a human flaw. People are always chasing perfection. The definition of perfection – the state of being without flaw or defect. Therefore, you’re going to see that men will spend more time focusing on your flaws than he will spend on your strengths and things he loves about you. Black women, you ladies are great, you’re perfectly fine. There is no need for a constitutional amendment to preserve our women. When Black men come at you so hard, consider it jabbing amongst siblings. I know I take your criticisms that way. Anyway for today, I just want to say publicly, I love my Black women!