Home Dating & Relationships Relationships Dumb Questions Women Ask

Dumb Questions Women Ask

61
WTF you mean you can see my love handles!!!!

As men … we are faced with difficult decisions every single day of our existence. Most of them aren’t life changing decisions … but we must carefully navigates this labyrinth of choices in order to successfully make it through the day. Some that come to mind …

Are these pants clean enough to wear again?

Do I rock the black Aldo’s … or go casual with the Nike Boots?

Should I stop talking to crazy Kim? She tried to run me over … but man the head game is impeccable.

But these are easy … no, Aldo’s, and no (good head is hard to find she’s a nice girl). You don’t have to think too hard, and what’s the worst that can happen … your shoes don’t match your shirt.

There are a set of questions, a unique grouping of interrogations, that can send shivers down the spine of any man … single or not. Your typical SBM will come across them every once in awhile … but if your in a relationship (or even worst married) … may God have mercy on your soul and may you heed my advice.

I’m talking about those “set-up” questions … the ones that your forced to answer … but can never answer right.

See Also:  Bedroom Beef: Who Should Initiate "The Love?"

I’m talking about … “Does this make me look fat?” … type of questions.

*brrrggghhh* … I’m shivering just thinking about it

Some that come to mind:

–  Does this make me look fat?
–  Have I gained weight?
–  Does this look good on me?
–  What exactly do you mean by that?
–  What exactly are you apologizing about?
–  What did you just say?
–  Do you think (insert some woman’s name) is attractive?
–  Do you like big butts (asked by Ms. Gluteus Minimus herself)?
–  So … you like big breasts (as she puts on her a-cup bra)?

Why are we subjected to such torture? Why is it that not answering is not a valid answer? Why is it telling the truth (if negative) makes us an asshole? Why is it that lies are called out? WHY?!?!?!

*break* … story time … based off of someone calling into the radio

Marcus: “Baby … you ready to go”
Kiesha: “Have I put on weight since you met me? Have I gotten fat?”
M: *quickly thinks about the chin that has joined the relationship* “Sweetheart … you look sexy. I love your body.”
K: “You didn’t answer my question!”
M: “What do you mean? Honey … you look great.”
K: *sounding slightly irritated* “I asked you if I gained weight.”
M: “Baby, you don’t need to ask me that question. Just go try on some of those jeans you had on when I met you.”
K: *silence … then the oh so slow turn with “the face” (you know what the f* I’m talking about)* “You know what …”

See Also:  You’re Alone Because You’re Alone

It’s clear to say … Marcus and Keisha were late … and Marcus went to sleep with dry balls.

Why did Keisha ask the question? And why is it that when Marcus came up with a very good (props) answer that reaffirmed her beauty … she still pressed the question? Why was Marcus punished for eventually being honest (dry balls is punishment!)?

Whether your dating someone, in a committed relationship, or married with kids … your going to get these questions. Its a phenomenon as old as time, and has managed to confuse, confound, and aggravate more men than Beyonce’s “Put a Ring on it” (f*ing hate that song).

My question is to the woman though … Why do you to it to us? Why do you do it to yourselves?

It’s become apparent that the truth isn’t the right answer. It’s obvious that not answering doesn’t work. We just saw that avoiding the question with a compliment doesn’t help (that one shocked me … I coulda swore he was in the clear as I was listening). Lies are the best option … but why the hell would you ask a question you want to be lied to about?

Women … I know your out there … help us … please?

See Also:  AskMen: 6 Ways to Determine How Much Your Relationship is Worth

SBM aka “I said you looked good already … damn” aka I plead the “fif”


Comment(61)

  1. Whenever I am ask one of these infamous questions I respond with an answer that makes no since at all until a she gets the point that I will not answer a "trap" question.

    Woman: "Do I look fat in this outfit?"

    JP: "It's a nice day out we should go for a walk."

    Woman: "Did you hear me? I asked if this outfit makes me look fat?"

    JP: "I was reading this article on Huffpost about the elections….."

    Hopefully she is smart enough to realize that she is not going to get an answer from me. Nothing good can come from these questions women!

    -JP

    1. I just simply say "dont ask questions you dont want an answer to". especially on questions that involve if im feeling her like she she feeling me. if that dont work & she push me to answer, i purposefully say the wrong answer (since it aint a right answer anyway). it seem to not have a bad effect.

      example:

      jump off thats cheating: im really feelin u & i think im fallin in love, do you feel the same

      me: why ask questions you may not want answered?

      jotc: foreal if i run away (leave him), can i have you to myself

      me: sorry sweety but no, i dont feel the same

      jotc: #sad & poutin

      me: so you gona try swallowin again?

      jotc: yea

      20 mins later

      jotc:#GAGGING

      I learned for some reason being an ass has no effect.

  2. Wow, I'm a woman and I couldn't agree more with this post. In fact, I can't stand it when my girlfriends do that to me. I always say, if you have to ask, then you already know. Maybe I'm just different, but I've never asked a man those questions. If I've gained weight, I know it, no need to ask, time to scale back and diet. Self honesty is the key to avoiding these moments.

  3. I don't know why. Odds are, if a woman is asking such a question, she already (deep down) knows the answer. I think it's more or less a "have I gained enough weight for you to consider leaving" type of question.

    Is (insert name here) booty big enough for you to consider leaving?

    Is she pretty enough for you to consider leaving?

    Are my breasts too small to get you to stay?

    I think that's what it boils down to.

    Basically, people shouldn't ask questions they don't want the answer to, but I guess that would make life too easy..

    and when she usually asks again, it's because she doesn't believe your first answer. It's a catch-22.

    Sorry Charlie…

    1. THIS right here says it all.

      Women are always looking for reasons of reassurance from her man that they are not going to leave her for a perceived "upgraded model". Right or wrong, 9 times outta 10, this is where it comes from.

      I don't have enough time in my life to ask all these questions..but I can see why they are asked.

    2. *nodding head* sounds about right…

      P.S. – Marcus answered those questions perfectly. Keisha was just PMSing needing some affirmation.

      And as long as men continue to ask questions like "is mine the biggest you've ever seen", "did you cum?", "how many men have you slept with?" and "would you be interested in a threesome?" the Venus and Mars Peace Agreement stipulates that we are allowed to ask the above referenced questions. Ya win some, you love some.

      1. I have to, have to, have to love Starita34 for her response. How many times have we said "it's not the size, it's the motion in the ocean!" knowing damned well, size matters. But…there's always a grey area.

        I don't ask any questions unless I want an honest answer. So…I don't ask many questions. Plus, he doesn't look how he did 5 years ago either! fk that.

      2. *bows to the wisdom of Starita34*

        I think the whole thing of asking those kinds of questions are only as old as mass media and regular 'upgrading.' If women are told that they are not good enough and that their man will leave them at the drop of bikini top, they aren't as likely to be sane.

        THAT is why I have no TV or radio. I want my sanity even if I miss out on Lady Gaga's lastest crazy outfit. *rolls eyes*

  4. As women we seek confirmation for things we already know the answer to. The catch 22 is the man is put in a no win situation. As stated in the article, even thou he told her she was still sexy, that's not the answer she was thinking in her head. This is almost where lying is ok, just to avoid future damages.

      1. I don't ask question that I already know the answer to. I'm saying for woman who ask these question. In order to avoid any type of conflict or arguement, it would be safe to give an answer thats soothing. Plus, everyone dont tell the truth 100% of the time, especially when it come to someone's feelings.

  5. I've been hit with those questions, and I lied. FAIL! So I did it a few times so she would say tell the truth.

    Now its all truth all the time. When I get the gas face, I respond with you asked me to be honest. I follow up with "Don't ask questions, if you aren't ready for the answer."

  6. Those are insecure women who ask those types of questions. As a woman I know exactly when I've put on that 1-3 lbs of water weight right before my cycle, so I know exactly when my jeans are a bit more snug.

    I feel bad for the fellas, because there is no 'right' answer. Because as a woman we do want an answer. Your opinion matters to us.

    And besides chances are I already know what you like, just by virtue that were together. So I don't need to know if you like big(ger) booties/breasts etc. You like mines, and I'm good wiith that. LOL!!

    But those are the insecure women who need constant reassurance from her man that things are all good.

    And to 'punish' dude with dry balls only makes him look at shawty with the bigger butt/breasts even more LOL!!

    Why women punish men by withholding sex is beyond me. Cause ish if he got dry balls, she sleeping with the pillow between her legs to (circa 'Love Jones').

    Now on the flip, when he comes and says 'babe these shoes/shirt….umm yeaaaaa, no. Your not walking with me looking like that, lol! Then we fall into the maternal mode and go to his closet and say 'here, this looks great together right here'. Then he's stuck thinking 'damn did my woman just dress me' lol! Then the pattern starts, lol! She says 'when I'm ready, I'll get your stuff together' lol!

    Then she mentions a man's name he's never heard befre and the same type of questions come up.

    So men can ask these same stupid no win questions, lol!

    But I get the gist. LOL! Great post. Hopefully women will be sucure enough to know 'if he chose me, my ish is ALL goos'.

    Smooches,

    Jei

    Great post!!

    1. Lady Jei: "And to ‘punish’ dude with dry balls only makes him look at shawty with the bigger butt/breasts even more LOL!!

      Why women punish men by withholding sex is beyond me. Cause ish if he got dry balls, she sleeping with the pillow between her legs to (circa ‘Love Jones’)."

      I'd advise any woman who does this foolishness to strongly heed this warning. You think he's going to leave him for something better, but withholding $ex significantly increases that possibility, even if he never considered it before.

      1. I’d advise any woman who does this foolishness to strongly heed this warning. You think he’s going to leave him you for something better, but withholding $ex significantly increases that possibility, even if he never considered it before.

        Note to self: proofread, then press "Submit Comment" button.

  7. We do it because we want you to comfort us in an area we feel insecure about. Sometimes we need our ego stroked too, but since that's not in a man's DNA, we have to ask dumb questions to get a response that's usually a lie.

    You never should withhold sex from your husband, unless he was unfaithful/truly violated you in some way. That's the worst thing you can do according to many older women.

    Some questions are necessary, but the ones you listed only leads to trouble….I understand both sides–it's irrational to ask a question when you really don't want answered. However, when women asks these questions, it's important that the man understands that's something his women is insecure about.

    If anyone says they're completely secure about everything is lying.

    1. Reasons why you shouldn't do a thousand things all at once. The last paragraph should read:

      Some questions are necessary, but the ones you listed only lead to trouble…. I understand both sides–it’s irrational to ask a question when you really don’t want it answered. However, when a woman asks these questions, it’s important that the man understands that the question is simply something his woman is insecure about, and he ought to handle with care. If she's important to you, you'll learn to be honest with a touch of finesse–which is indeed being "real."

      If anyone says they’re completely secure about everything, he/she is lying.

    1. YUP!!!!!

      I approve this comment.

      I don't ask questions like that because deep down I already know the answer so why even set myself up to be lied to.

  8. As stated before in the previous post, rather to be an honest jerk, than a lying a$$hole.

    This stems from insecurity with oneself and I used to support my lady friends with reassuring comments like "Of course your jeans are tight, you put them in the Hot cycle of the dryer" #swindle

    Nowadays, when prompted with these silly questions. I give the smiling response "YES, I was wondering when you were going to ask me that so I could tell you without hurting your feelings."

    You're a Jerk- I know

    1. I used to support my lady friends with reassuring comments like “Of course your jeans are tight, you put them in the Hot cycle of the dryer” #swindle

      That's smooth. I'ma use that!

  9. I don't know. I stopped with the questions a long time ago. All it leads to is an argument most of the time…and I am all about peace and tranquility. lol 🙂

    Good post!

  10. Me: Coming out of the shower pissed off.

    Him: What's the matter with you?

    Me: I went to the gym every day last

    week and I'm up 3lbs. I hate it when that happens!

    Him: (Spanks her naked butt as she walks by)

    Me: Stop that ish, I'm not in the mood this morning!

    Him: Don't be mad at me cause you're UP (inserts laughter)…get used to it, it's called LIFE!

    Me: You're an a**hole and unless you want me to swing on you, you need to take it down a notch…for real.

    Him: (starts making up a song about scales and weight being UP)

    Me: So mad that I have to start laughing.

    Him: Starts to laugh as well

    I guess I don't have time to be insecure because he will just throw it back at me anyway.

  11. Ahh the good old catch 22 situation. Here is mine…

    Me and then girlfriend, now fiance go to my sands' probate at her school. This AKA comes up and speaks to me and introduces her self and we shake hands exchange names and she walks off.

    GF: Is she your type?

    Me: huh?

    GF: She looks like she is your type. Is she?

    Me: …

    Pause for spidey senses tingling.
    http://s.sfwgifs.com/img/upld/admiral-ackbar-its-

    Me: I'm not answering that trick question.

    End scene.

  12. In these situations, forget beating around the bush. If she asks if she's gaining weight, and she is, tell her she's gaining weight, then offer to work out with her.

    If she gets mad, so what? She's going to get mad regardless of your response, so get that off your chest and get the problem solved. Don't cower from it; if she wants to start an argument over something she definitely knows the answer to, let her be mad and use that time to catch up on your reading/playing PS3/hanging out with your friends, etc.

    1. That's why I think it's important to set the precedent early in the relationship. I let every woman know that if she asks a question, I'm going to give an honest answer. If she doesnt want the truth, she shouldn't ask. It amazes me that they will still ask questions, knowing it could hurt their feelings.

      Her: I am I the prettiest girl you have dated?

      Me: No.

      Her: ******Crickets*******

  13. I don't know, i typically don't ask questions that I don't want the answers to…so if I ask if you can tell I gained weight and you say yes, then I need to take my ass to the gym. Sounds like you just need to stop messin with stupid b*tches…lol.

  14. Sorry, men, this is one of those things that is a lose-lose-lose situation, if you're dealing with an insecure woman or a woman who may just be feeling insecure at the moment, especially about the question she just asked.

    You can't be honest, you can't BS/lie, and the straddle-the-fence/don't answer doesn't work either. Just take an L for the team and keep it moving. She'll have to take one too, at some point, LOL.

  15. I'm certain people can deduce how I respond to most stupid questions based on how I respond on these blogs.

    I've been painted into a corner before by chicks who pulled the trigger and asked a question they really didn't want to know the answers to and I fired back. I remember dealing with a girl for about 1.5 months and she asked "do you still text and flirt with other women?" I was silent. She kept prying and was like "see you aren't open with me, I just want to know, I won't get mad." I turned to her and said "yeah, I do." Her face got all long and she was like "that's messed up." I replied "if you didn't want to know you shouldn't have asked. I left it alone, you kept jabbing at it, so there ya go."
    Sounds cold right? Well…she should respect her positioning. After 1.5 months she surely didn't put in enough work as to where I would cut the others off, but she was so caught up in being "open" that she f*cked herself.

    This happens a lot and unfortunately I have a problem lying to people's faces.

    1. lol A man did this to my cousin. He went thru her phone after having dating for 2 months and was severely disappointed to find she was still flirting and seeing other guys. He was beyond shocked, guess men think they be having it on lock just cause they men.

  16. I've seen done it to START the break-up process. I don't like to argue, don't argue at all. I'd rather just stop calling/leave him, but some people I know do this:

    #1 Start an argument by asking a difficult question.

    #2 Since he can't win (based on a lack of logic presented on my side of the argument), he leaves frustrated.

    #3 Repeat steps #1 and #2 until you KNOW that he'll leave you when you have "the talk." Saves his ego and everything!

    1. I would say it's insecurity if the woman continuously ask these questions because now it seems like she is looking for approval, ego stroking and validation from her man because she doesn't feel 100% sure of herself.

      So questions like "baby am I getting fat, "sweets does my calves look good in these shoes" "boo do you like my hair this way, "honeykins how does my butt look in these jeans– will always get thrown at dude. *My 0.02Cents

  17. What I don't understand is, why are you asking "said question" and you already know the truth? I've never asked these questions (in the post) to a guy because I already know the answer. Instead of asking questions like, Have I gained some weight?; You need to ask your partner to join you at the gym because you already know you gained weight. Stop fooling yourself. Fix the problem or shut up and let it go.

    If your dude does tell you that you've gained weight and does nothing to inspire you to lose it, You should rethink about being with that person. He should focus on building your confidence instead of destroying it.

  18. as far as the "does this make me look fat or have i put on weight" questions i feel like if you have to ask then you already know the answer. i don't sell pipe dreams. i'll let you know yes you have. and i'll go further to remind her about those times when i asked her to go running with me and that the offer is still on the table. *shrug*

  19. I wanna know why yall men volunteer spit we aint ask you like "You'd have a great body if you only had more azz" or "If you go to the gym, you could have a flatter stomach". Maybe I'm happy with my azz and don't care about my lil pudge.

    Why do men VOLUNTEER stuff when I felt perfectly fine ??

  20. We've all done it, why, beats me. I think it's just reassurance that we're still attractive to the SO even though like many of the gents said, we already deep down know the answer…

    Good one

  21. I used to get got by this line of questioning. UNTIL, I just be extra honest. I decided to answer them like I'm a platonic friend. If she's gonna end the relationship or "punish" me over than then…

    Now, if ol' girl is the type to be mad at me for being honest when she knows it's a dumb set of questions then she needs to be sent on her way in the first place.

    Also, women KNOW these are some unfair questions. Now still asking a question that you know is unfair and dumb is just stupid. However, given women are as smart as they say that are, then being honest will have them to draw non-shallow conclusions for you desiring/choosing to be with them despite how they compared to previous/current women in your life or the "ideal". You want that to happen in their minds anyway. #inception

    Mz. HasNoBooty: "Do you prefer women with bigger booties?"
    Mr: "Yes"

  22. I can say the same as the rest of the commenters here and say asking these questions is stupid and insecure. Honestly, I've never asked a question on this list (unless I'm talking to a female friend and asking for honesty), and likely never will. I don't ask questions I don't want the answer to.

    Also, I will cosign Starita on the fact that men ask similar questions.

    1. I lied. I have asked "What did you just say?" and "What exactly do you mean by that?". However, that's when something had already been said unprovoked by me and I don't think these fit in the same category as the rest.

      #thatisall

  23. Women like confirmation. We like to hear it rolled off the tongues of the persons that s suppose to us irresistible. Just like a man likes to have his ego stroked we do too.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate

    Tiffany

  24. Some women are just insecure (and subsequently annoying)

    Some men just have a wandering eye (lighter fluid small insecurities – we all have them)

    Self awareness is grossly underrated these days – the first thing we should all do in acknowledging a problems is taking a look at what we did to contribute to that problem.

    Great post. Made me laugh. Very few things are better than laughter on a long Monday @ work 🙂

  25. Its real simple…Keep it real ladies. This is the moment where she getting dressed and is in the mood to get some d***. But, she wants him to read her mind….In her mind she saying: I want this man to jump on me like in the movies and make feel wanted and beautiful. Don"t let me get dress, lets be late to an event because you want to make love to me, because I am beautiful and you desire only me! That's all she saying, when she picking your brain on a lame question. And thats why you get punished for not getting it.By that time she turned off. Its a mental thang!!!lol Ladies stop playing games, let him know you want the d***!

LEAVE YOUR COMMENT

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get SBM Delivered

Get SBM Delivered

Single Black Male provides dating and relationship
advice for today's single looking for love

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest

Shares
Share This