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I Want To Have S*x With Your BFF


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How do you not cheat? Simple, stay away from girls. But what happens when girls are over your house, sleeping in your bed, using your shower, etc… It’s only right to think about hitting it, even if you’re not attracted to them. The girls I’m talking about are the BFF’s, the best friends, the homegirls, Tasha and em’. When you’re in a relationship her friends become your friends. Not to the point where you call them and conversate, but you’re all cool.

From the first time I can remember having a serious girlfriend, I’ve wanted to smash the homie. Let me rephrase, I’ve thought about it in my head. Now it’s not to say that I plotted on any of them, or even would go for it in reality, but the idea is there. Not just with me, with every guy. Go ahead, sit there and say, “My man can’t stand my homegirls, he wouldn’t touch her”. This is me laughing at your ignorance ha ha ha. Unless she’s an absolute Chewbacca, he’s considered it, hell he may have already hit it, and that’s why they don’t like each other. Categories please—

See Also:  Til Death Do Us Part: But, I'm no longer physically attracted to my partner

The Sexy Friend: one of my Ex GF’s had one of the sexiest friends ever. She trumped my girl, and my girl knew she trumped her, that’s why it became an issue whenever she would leave the room and come back to us giggling about something. Although I was in lust with my Ex GF, I knew if I had an opportunity to smash her friend, I would probably do it, she was that bad. But if I was with a girl I really cared about, the sexy friend wouldn’t be an issue, I would still think of beating, but I would never go there, she’d just be the mental image I’d go to during (tmi edit).

The Okay Friend: I know these well. The Okay friend is cute I guess, but not really your flavor. But you’ve been around her so much; you add an extra point to her hotness bringing it to a solid 6 or 7 on the curve. This girl isn’t a threat to your GF because your chick blows her out of the water (I hope). But! When you’re in a monogamous relationship you need something else to look at sometimes and it’s only so many pictures of Nicki Minaj I can put on my desktop before it becomes weird. The Okay friend begins to creep in your mind like hmmm, “maybe if she did her hair like that and wore a better bra”…

See Also:  You're Never Getting Married

The Friend I Hate: This girl hates you, probably tries to sabotage your relationship, but more than likely her ig’nant ways don’t keep you from wanting to smash the black girl attitude out of that thang. I’ve never cheated on any of my girlfriends with their friends, but the one I almost went for after the relationship was over was the one I hated. Funny thing is, she was down too (what a friend).

It’s not about your homegirl being easy or flirtatious; it’s about your man being a man. He listens when you talk about how your homegirl has s*x with this and that guy, her oral s*x skills, and the fact that she likes to be choked and handcuffed. Sure he’s saying “That chick is nasty eww”, but he’s thinking, “I wonder how that’s hitting?” The thing about me is that I will joke about it with my girl about smashing one of her friends, but personally I would never EVER have s*x with one of them. But I’m beyond whipped so I don’t count. The average dude, he’s going to go for it. I don’t care how much you trust both of them—assume that the moment you leave the room they will be Chinese finger cuffed. Soooo… how do you stop him from thinking like that about your bestie? Just accept it, there’s nothing you can do …well there is but my 3some blog is more of an explicit black girls are easy topic.


  1. O_O

    I'm staying away from my friend's dude's from now on (though i've had some make passes) & whenever i meet someone, my friend's won't be meeting him…=0/

    1. my name is Saly. T , Im single girl looking for a man who understands love as trust and faith rather seeing it as a way of fun but a mature man with good scence of humor. I have just viewed your profile and found you are an incredibly interesting guy.. we are not far away from each other. Maybe we can chat on yahoo messenger. I spend most of my time on at ———-Blackwhiteloves.com——-, and add all my photos there. My username is SalyTiny22. Can you add me as a friend?.. Hope to hear from you soon. Take care.

  2. I been told am the sexy friend hheheh….I think this applies to girls as well. Sigh everyone trying to smash the homies. If you cant beat them, join them! lol #amjustsaying Great Read!

  3. Well, this just solidifies the point that guys need to stay single since all they care about is being a man-whore and phuc every p*ssy in the world. lol! Why do you care about what THAT p*ssy feels, smells, taste like when you pick a lady to be in a relationship with you? lmao!

    Guys and their d*ck ambitions LMAO! The only logical and ethical way that a guy can think about phucin his girl's BFF is when that guy closes his eyes while he is jacking off. Any real action is cheating, point blank. Its like guys don't want females to be friends since he wants to drive a big ass wedge in between them by phucin the BFF of his lady. SMH.

    *This comment has been moderated and watered down. Go wash your mouth out with soap! LOL… just kidding. – Dr. J*

  4. I don't even know what to say. I think women are already wary of their friends being around their man, especially the friend that is cuter. Sheeeeeit, I've been approached by my sisters' men, friends' men, and even a MUCH older man who was my best friend's mother's boyfriend (I was 14 at the time). This ish right here is why women end up paranoid and cut off their friends when they have a new man.

  5. I don't bring him around them. And visa versa. I saw that growing up in my house. My mother never had the neighbors over, my aunts house too. And since my sister's weddings they have applied the same method.

    We don't do the double date thing, and all he knows are names. And being in a sorority affords me the blanket 'with my sorors'. That covers a whole lot of ground.

    As far as he knows I have friends, yes. I go out with them. But those are MY friends. Not yours. And visa versa. I don't need to meet Ray Ray n dem. They ain't my friends.

    And NO I don't have no homegirls 'like me'. So don't ask. This is a practice I don't practice.

    Seperate but equal is my philosophy.


    L to the J

  6. ♥ this post! I don't interact with too many females anyway. I know that even if you don't say anything about your sex life with your mate to your Girlfriends, they are still intrigued with the unknown. So, they start plotting on how to get you to talk or giving advice that is backhanded like… "Girl, why you ain't take that dude number, you know just in case!" while yall out. THAT IS THE NUMBER ONE SIGN that your 'Good' girlfriend might want to be a silent partner in your relationship. or the "GIRL HE IS FIONE! You think I should talk to him?" when they single. (WTF you asking me for YOUR SINGLE why wouldn't you talk to him?)

    Females really get me with that one.

    I engage in a healthy conversation with my mate and let him know all the time that I know, you may think I don't, but I DO! Especially the females that have a bizarre "Need" to call or comeover after the 9p.m. that's another sign. I don't care if they do the ole' "I just got off of work girl and got some hot gossip I'll be there in a min.! STOP and RUN AWAY… Aint no Gossip that good that will make you leave some "prime beef" for some "sushi", (she knows it and so do you, and trust if you do let her come over your man is watching that shyt too and bookmarking it in his brain) so you need to ready your arsenal with the "Gurl I'm on my way out the door and my battery is low I'll call you in the morning Bye" CLICK!

  7. This post is true and it doesn't stop. It's true for men and it's true for women.

    I remember one time when my son's godfather was drunk and whispered to me that if I ever needed anything, if my man was ever slacking…that he would help me out…I was like OK, he's drunk and I'm going to ignore this…but I never forgot it either.

    Oh and that picture? HILARIOUS….

    1. My cousin's husband taught me this lesson when I was 16. He kept bumping into me during the day and had the nerve to keep staring at me with this disgusting smirk all day long (holiday dinner). I told my mom and she gave me the woman's solution early (stay out of it), he was a jerk and a creep and I felt bad for my cousin because I knew if he was brazen enough to flirt with me…she was in for it.

  8. Don't forget about the sexy sister. I once dated a girl that was a 9 and sister was a 10 and two years younger. Used to always flirt with me too probably pissing her sister off. But I was happy with my 9.

        1. At the very most – 2 weeks. But they could come any time now. My pic is from 10 weeks ago so I will spare y'all the oversized belly I'm sporting now, lol! I'll keep you posted.

      1. I thought that it had to be close and I know you must be ready for them to be born. That last trimester is no joke and you're carrying twins!

        I am sure that they will be happy and healthy. That really is a blessing for the new year. Definitely keep us posted!

      1. Coroners Report for Star, 31 year old, caucasian female

        Time of Death: Friday 12/3/10 at 1430 pm Central

        Cause of death: Use of "nigtionary" in a sentence.

        Manner of Death: Spontaneous Hemorrhagic Shock

        Persons of Interest: NC-17

      2. nah fam. BIG tried his best to have it installed in the lexicon of american linguistics with "Conversate, sex on the first date."

        However, the correct word is "converse."

        No harm no foul though. Better the SBM Fam put you on here than you say that on an interview or date and the person just makes a mental note.

  9. Just pure craziness but this ish definitely goes down on both side of the fences. I have no problem bringing my friends around my man from time to time but please believe I'm on Hoe Behavioral Patrol for the duration.

    Let's not forgot about the homeboy that will try to get your SO white boy wasted so that he can have one of his confession moments with you tellin you how he's feeling you and how long he's been watching you.


    1. SIXX is on as always…

      My girls & I don't have the same taste in men, PLUS they are just the sweetest EVER (I know this me being 'naive' to some) but I believe in birds of a feather… so I trust my girlies. I'd bring them around w/o hesitation.

      I have most definitely been hit on by my SO's friends though… Men are a trip. I mean my man at the time literally got up from the table and 2 seconds later he was in my ear… really son? Got home, had an email from him. This ninja was persistent!

    1. Me too! I read hig blog too and he puts it out there on occasion.

      Now if only I can figure out a way to do the same to some guy…

  10. I ran into this only once – and it was with my ls. She moved from 3 states away to about an hour from me and the Dude. Just far enough where if she came over it was pretty much a given that she would stay until the next day (I wouldn't put her on the road late after partying). In the span of about 3 weeks this heffa managed to:

    – Run around my house in boy short panties and a tank, no bra.

    – Antagonize and try to c**kblock my man

    – Complain endlessly about how she hasn't gotten any

    – Act like a jealous 12 yr old whenever we had a little pda. Pouting and whining that we're ignoring her. wddda?

    – Overstay her welcome every time (50 minute commute gets you a stay over and maybe brunch, not 48 hours)

    – Ignored her own date to stay in our faces. Her dude was standing at the bar watching her make a fool of herself. He was out of the picture shortly after that.

    – Get drunk at our housewarming and make out with his bestie. Did I mention the bestie's girl was AT the party?

    Needless to say, that heffa ain't welcome here any more. That's the only time I've ever had anything like that happen. Don't know if my man wanted to get with her – he expressed concern about some of her drinking habits. Sure enough, she was hospitalized later for "alcohol intoxication". A couple of times.

    1. That's something, I'm thinking after the 50 Mile Commute I would've but that on a halt right there. Family or Not… I HAVE A LIFE. You need to get one! See that's what I'm talkn' bout and it's worse wit fam, cause they "Think" you ain't suspecting them cause "THEY FAM". Umm No BOO BOO!

      1. You ever see life beat somebody down worse than you ever could? It was that. She lost her friends, her man and almost lost her (very) well paying job because she has an alcohol addiction. I couldn't add a black eye to that.

  11. I seem to always be attracted to an SO's brother, cousin, homey…but, it's just the way it goes…would I let them hoebags smash…No….can, I think about letting them smash. Yes. LOL.. 🙂

    Same goes for my SO…he can look as long as he doesn't touch…and he can't look to dayum long before even that's a problem.

    I trust my girlfriends though..they have been tried and tested through the years of a very long friendship..so, I know they wouldn't have it…..

    1. Yeah the family thing makes sense because brothers or sister look alike and may have similar personalities. So the sibling is bound to have some traits you like.

      I actually had a girl pass me on to her older sister once. LOL I guess she didn't really see me as a potential boyfriend but knew that her sister would like me. She put me on the phone with her sister one day and we started talkin from there. It worked out well too.

  12. Interesting post. Doesn't sound right that the average dude would smash though – I have too much faith in my people to think that the majority of people are that whorish. Maybe my faith is misplaced …

    Someone above mentioned the sexy sibling, I think cousins are even worse, especially if it's like a second cousin (or farther removed)

    1. This does happen. My girl and I are still trying to find this hussy that pretended to be her friend and ended up effing her husband….I saw it coming and tried to warn her but….

      I do not want think it happens that often either but Maury and Jerry are proof that it does. I don't think like that either so I understand why it’s hard for you imagine people actually doing this. #coldheartedbastards

      1. While the hussy needs to get slapped the fuck up, what's up with the husband?

        I just feel like most of this shit implies that men are weak as shit as will fuck anything that shows interest.

        It seems to me that it'd be easier to smash somebody random not affiliated in your SO's circle

  13. *sigh* I had this happen to me in college. My friend (an ex-friend now) was dating this guy I couldnt stand. He was full of sweet-nothings BS when talking to her, but do what he wanted in his actions. I couldnt understand why the hell she was with him. In this situation, I guess I would have been the 'Friend I Hate' since he realized I saw right through him and I let him know I did.

    Anyway, one day she asked him 'which one of my friends would you sleep with? Tell me! I wont get mad'. Who the eff ask their boyfriend/SO/cut-buddy that?! o__O. This negro finally told her if he had a choice, it would definitely be me. omggggggg. After that, she started treating me weird and wouldnt leave me in the same room with him. If she had to, she would jump out from the kitchen or any other part of the room on us at random times and be like 'oh. nothing' or 'oh ok just checking'. wtf. Weeks later (she let issues/drama fester for weeks/months before addressing it) she confesses to me why she has been acting like a damn fool….I couldnt believe it. I told she was an idiot, and was also an idiot for asking him that question. smdh

    1. Yes, if you ask questions like that, you are defintely asking for trouble. It's bad enough, if you're insecure, to think that your man wants every woman he sees, but to WANT to know he would smash the one that you bring around him, is just pure insanity… smh silly broad.

  14. I would be on Snapped!

    I tend to look at all my girl's men as if they are family so no smashing thought would ever cross my mind.

    This is some serious Maury type ish too. The person that does this deserves…something not nice to happen.

    I trust my gfs, yet I am not stupid.

    Back in the day while I was in DC, this lesbian I knew (or so I thought) actually came out of her mouth asking my date if he ever thought about having a threesome…I was like….OMG somebody get this bish before I strangle her.

    I asked her to walk with me outside and I told her if she ever ever ever ever came out of her mouth like that again at ANYONE I was dealing with…she would need to pick it up off the floor. She lost her place in my crew. What was funny was that she had already asked me to do one with her and her girl….I declined.

  15. Yeah now she hearing with them other b-tches,

    Yeah, I told her mind her f-cking business,

    Sh-t she prolly out chea f-cking n-ggas,

    I'm f-cking her friends now her friends aint even f-cking with her

    That needed to be said.

  16. Back in the day I was a habitual line stepper, yep, stepping over lines… habitually.

    When I say, I created egregious intergreek relations, there are campuses that I cannot ever go back to for that reason. But i'll tell you what happened, it was because everyone was just trying to have fun. And i'm convinced that line sisters talk too d*mn much. Like my ex didn't tell her LSs nothing and they lived with her. But this other breezy told her LS and LS AIM'ed me that day talmbout: "Yoooooooo spec, so what's good, I just got the 411 on you, lol, why I ain't know?" About a week later…

    getitonthefloor getitgetitonthefloor….

    Now another time, my ex had a friend who was a heaux. Like a heaux. She lived around the corner from me too. I was walking around the block one time and she wanted to "come with", this chick came out the house in some booty shorts, purple thong, and a wife beater no bra. I was like, listen I have to go back in the house or you gonna have to put some clothes on. In her defense DC be hot than a mug in the summer.

    1. I should append to my story for any of you who may have heard about this egregious behavior on their sorority's listserve. FOR THE RECORD, when I met the line, I made it perfectly clear I was trying to talk to all of them.

      1. Ain't nothing worse than those conversations about places you can't go because one of the bruhs done ran through the chapter. Like right now, it's founder's day this weekend. #AlphaWeek. But, a whole lot of dudes are gonna shy away from parties because they know it's some salty AKAs and Deltas who always support their events and "things."

        And trust me ain't nothing worse than a salty AKA… If you want to know what it looks like watch Baby Boy.

  17. I don't know, I am just not that paranoid about it to the point where I wouldn't leave him in the same room. It seems like a lot of effort to keep your man and your girls separate. If you think either your man or your girl would do some dirty sh*t like that, they shouldn't be in your life anyways. Now, if signs are creeping up from either party that they'd go there, I'd discuss it with them up front. If I am still questioning it to the point of paranoia, somebody is getting cut off. I don't have it in me to be in another relationship without trust.

    1. "If you think either your man or your girl would do some dirty sh*t like that, they shouldn’t be in your life anyways."


    2. SOOO TRUE… That's just doing too much. If you have to worry about them being in the same room, who's to say what they are doing when you're not there. MEANING… if there were something going on, just because the only time you 'think' they are together is when you're around, doesn't make it so, and not leaving them alone is not going to PREVENT something from happening, if either of them are sleezy.

  18. Yeah, but IMO reality is what you THINK and WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS are not one in the same.

    I wouldn't say be paranoid but don't be foolish either.

  19. I've been on both sides. When I first moved out from my mom's house to my own apartment, it was my cousin and I together sharing an apartment. Both had boyfriend's at the time, and both would come to visit/stay over. Eventually, both moved in. Yes 2 couples same apartment. My cousin's boyfriend was very flirty with EVERYONE, but one day out of the blue, he made this comment about how I looked. I shrugged it off as just a compliment, but then he started to do it more often, and then eventually it became obvious, that it wasn't just compliments. If I was dirty, it could have gone down, but eventually, I had to tell him about himself and he left me alone.

    On the other hand, yes, I've looked at SO's friends, and thought to myself, I would smash (it's human nature), but I would never take it to that level, that's just OFF LIMITS..

    Now I do believe in limits regarding what to do, and who to have around your man, and not leaving a woman alone TOO long. But I also believe that if you can't trust the one you're with to be in the same room with a SO/husband, then you shouldn't be with that person. It doesn't matter the person of influence, it matters the person you're with. But if the case where the person is a skanky sleeze, HELL NO, DON'T LEAVE THEM ALONE LOL

  20. Yo NC 17 just became one of my favorite blooggers.

    This dude just looked inside my soul.

    He is so on point he should change his name to CP3.

    Esp with the different levels of BFFs.

    When my girl was getting her masters, she lived with one of each one of these. One drove me crazy. I thought I was really going to do something crazy and actually grab her booty. She looked so good. And sometimes I would get confused b/c she had traits that reminded me of my GF. Damn that girl was a CHeeKZ top ten. I got over it though by putting my boy on and having him tell me all the details. When you are wifed up you have to live vicariously through your friends. but he never came thru with the pics

    Than she had this cute one. That was just ok. Petite. Not my type, wouldn't really care. But sometimes she would just talk girl talk in front of me. About her watching p0rn or wanting to sit on a guy's face. And I would just j3rkoff thinking about her all the time.

    Sleeping with someone who is off limits (work, exes, one night stands, friends) is such a dirty deed. You know its wrong. Off limit chex makes for a better climax. I'm sure of it.

    NC-17 you are my nig for this one for real.

  21. 1. Congrats Linc! Just make sure to take anything you ever see me post on SBM to the grave. lol. Congrats to the rest of the new members as well.

    2. I found it cute that the author admitted to being whipped as well.

    3. lol @ Cheekz.

    4. Other than the friends we had in common, I don't think any of my significant others have had occasion to interact regularly with my girlfriends. If anything, I was the 3rd wheel (by invitation) in one girl's relationships, but I doubt any of the dudes ever looked at me like that.

  22. Strictly Off Topic:

    Couldn't help myself. LOL

    Steve Harvey’s Book, Straight Talk No Chaser, arrives in bookstores December 7th. It’s a follow up to the book Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man.

    *Hops In Getaway Car and Hauls Azz*

  23. Of course I trust my girls around my man. And of course my man's gonna have nasty thoughts about my girls. But I'm not mad at his thoughts. I judge my man by his actions. If he acts on it, he's gone, baby, gone.

    I've had nasty thoughts about another man when I was devoted to one. I mean they're thoughts. I'd never act on them. Actions are what matter. Self control. Integrity.

    You can be as trifling as you wanna be in that dome I know I will be.

  24. For what ever reason every woman I've ever had occasion to be around like that hangs with a gang of filthy, nasty, disgusting whoras (pronounced: Haw-Raas). One of these broads ended up butt naked in my living room (don't ask). Another one was standing in my doorway watching me get on down (she slick wanted to phuck my girl). And another one actually came in the bedroom and got her ass in the bed where I was sleeping with her roomate (on my side). Now it wouldn't be honest of me to say that I never thought about it or might have even kinda sorta considered it, but naw. I don't bone the friends but I can neither confirm nor deny that most if not all have been passed around by the homies and viciously mauled. Sometimes multiple homies on the same chick. Possibly 😉

  25. I love that most of the women here commented on how they don't bring their friends around their men because they can't trust them. This is why women can't get ahead, how about holding your man responsible for his actions too?! We're so quick to blame the woman and forgive the man. Makes no sense. You better believe that if a dude gets cheated on he'll throw the woman to the curb and him and his boy will continue on like nothing happen.

    Women give men too much power and we always have to just accept that men think with their d*cks? We have to accept it? I don't think so. A man can fantasize with my friends all he wants but once it goes beyond that? They're both done and both @ fault. Period.


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