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How to spot an e-Pimp


**** Lets take a stroll back down memory lane … before SBM was SBM and was just another college undergrad ****

SBM: “Yo, lets go out tonight.”
Dole-Megabyte: “Naw man, can’t. I got plans.”
SBM: “Oh, forreal. What we getting into?”
DM: “It’s what I’m trying to get into tonight. I think I got something set up tonight.”
SBM: “For real? Chic from Dream last week?”
DM: “Naw, she was faking. Talking about she wasn’t trying to come over.”
SBM: “That girl from the house party you was talking about?”
DM: “Naw, I’m not messing with that chic no more.”
SBM: “Oh boy … don’t tell me … ”
DM: “Yeah, this chic I’ve been poking on facebook.  I hit her with a message and she got back to me.”
SBM: “You got to stop this e-pimping man! This is getting crazy!”
DM: “Why? I got a system that these women are loving.”
SBM: “Why don’t you come out and get your women like a real man … like me?”
DM: “I f*ck more women, and better looking girls … and they do whatever I want … whatever!”
SBM: *long pause as I try really hard to think of a rebutal* “Yeah, but still. It’s online. It doesn’t count the same.”
DM: “When you’re doing numbers like me, holla.”

e-Pimp: A “playa” whose main means of getting women is through online means.

See Also:  Are There Not Enough Black Men for Women, Or Is That Just an Excuse?

I am not hear to judge.  I know that is what I do 364 days out of the year, but I guess ever “critic” needs a break.  I cannot judge because I cannot knock an e-pimp and his e-hustle.  This individual which I chastised during my younger years, was actually a revolutionary.  He was an attractive (so I’m told because you know as a guy I am incapable of judging another man as attractive) guy with the ability to talk.  He did pull girls in real life and was perfectly capable of hitting the cub and finding a woman, but why …

You use email instead of postal mail … right?  You read news online instead of reading everything in a newspaper or magazine … right?  So why is it that online dating is so “taboo”?  I think Bun B said it best with “Pimping ain’t dead … it just moved to the Web”.

But I’m not hear to condone e-pimping either.

I’m just here to define the “e-pimp”

He’s Still using MySpace (and maybe BlackPlanet)
I don’t even remember what my name was on MySpace.  I don’t log-in, I don’t check the profile, and I think it still talks about what I plan to do when I graduate from undergrad.  There is only one real reason someone stays on MySpace these days, and that is to have access to the significantly easier women (never really knew why girls would so ready for the random nutz on MySpace over Facebook).  If your man has an active Myspace account … well …

See Also:  9 Men to Watch Out For

He Spends Weekend Nights poking, superpoking, and messaging
There is nothing wrong with being active on facebook or other social networks, but when your weekends are spent chatting over facebook messenger instead of going out with people, I think the e-pimp title is yours.

Instead of The Boot Call or Boot Text … He Booty Tweets
If you see things like “#LemmeBeat” and “#ImaKnockItOutGirl” in your friends timeline, then he might be an e-pimp.  I think a lot of women were mad at the concept of the late night booty call.  More were enraged when the late night booty text became acceptable.  Now you have a few probably ready to cut someone over a public booty tweet. If only it didn’t work …

He shows you the X-rated twitpics that he gets over DM
People used to get dirty picture messasges as part of the sextign craze.  But why use up your messages for the month when twitpic will hook you up for free.  Too bad she forgot that anyone can look up her pics without a link …

These tell-tale signs will help you spot an e-pimp from afar.  But don’t be scared … he’s not doing anything wrong.  Actually, Mr. e-Pimp, I salute you for doing what I just could never do (I was always afraid of some mugly looking joint coming to my door with some lube and a rope after sending me her best friend’s pic).

See Also:  The Inconsistencies In How We Give Men and Women Advice

Is using online dating and social networking to get women still taboo?  Is it still bad to use computers to make your life easier?  Or is the “e-pimp” a loser?

– SBM aka “So how many times do I got to poke her” aka I don’t need a computer virus


  1. I don't believe online dating is taboo anymore for most people (the Match.com commercial proudly exclaims that). I personally think its an act of sheer desperation. Like a persons last resort (not judging though because a few of my friends have tried it, its just not for me). But the men that go on the internet & sign up on social networking sites specifically to hook up with girls disgust me. They've probably smashed every available broad in their town & are hoping to branch out. I've dated a few of these dudes. Couldn't stay off Black Planet (even when we were chilling together in the same room)…another one had over a thousand pictures on Myspace (no MAN should have that many pics on Myspace). I am not a member of any social networking site because they have proved to be the devil time & time again. Don't get me wrong…if ur slime, ur slime BUT the internet makes it a heck of a lot easier to do your dirt.

  2. You know… this is why internet dating is 'taboo' … it's bad enough dealing w/ a man in a strictly 3D environment where things can go wrong but then place it on the internet… ugh… it just seems like a place where you have no 'real' connections to a man and you have to believe what he says b/c body language/eye contact is missing… eh. I'll pass. (well kinda)

  3. Um, what is DM? (sorry, I still don't have a twitter account).

    I dunno, I never really thought about it — someone recently said that Facebook is becoming the new Black Planet but for the life of me, out of the 200+ people I have on my FB list, they're either from my hometown, HS, or college, who wants to hook up with those people? I mean seriously…they're like fam.

    I guess the E-Pimp serves a purpose but then again so does an E-Ho (a woman who's horny and lonely and wants to get it on and poppin' with some random person) – this is all conjecture on my end.

    1. DM is direct message… it's goes from one twitter user to another w/o public viewing. Additionally, b/c twitter is a mobile type situation it comes straight to your phone like a text…

      1. I'll add my thanks as well – I had no idea what a DM was and am also not on "the twittuh". My application to the cool kids club was denied looong ago, lol.

  4. I think Bun B said it best with “Pimping ain’t dead … it just moved to the Web”.

    That was Pimp C…

    but on topic, I think online dating isn't as taboo as you think. The web is a lot more social than it used to be so finding someone that you click with is easy and most of all, free. With Facebook and Twitter I'm surprised sites like e-harmony are still up and kicking.

    I've met a few folks online and some are cool as shit. Other aren't my cup of tea. The first was via blackplanet back in 2000 (when it was okay to be on BP). This was the worst. Met a chick, we talked a lil bit then I found out she was lying for no reason so I backed off and talked to her occassionally while I was in a relationship but nothing emotional…for me. She just couldn't let me go. I finally had enough and this broad went the dirty route. Told my girl all kinds of lies that ended up causing us to break up. I later banged her friend with no remorse and without her knowledge. She just found out about it like 2 years ago and it happened 5 years ago. So that was a total of 4 relationships ruined out of that one encounter lol.

    Now I have a very good friend that I met online and we could probably be together if I weren't engaged currently. We met when we both were considering getting back with an ex and the friendship just blossomed from there.

    So all in all I think internet dating is what you make it. Not that bad but is open for all kind of deception.

  5. Booty wranglers will do what they do – whether in person or on the computer. My observation is that a man who just wants to hook up tends to show his cards pretty early. How he approaches ("Dayum you lookin' sexy ma…you got some pics…whatchu doin tonight…) tells you all you need to know. If you don't bite they'll take their sorry bait elsewhere.

    1. Pics! PICS! Dead give away. Maaaan, you're looking at pics, I got 200 of them bishes up…what you mean is nekkid pics, and NO you can't see some. *smh*

      But like SBM said…"If only it didn’t work …"

  6. Was "hear" used on purpose instead of "here"???

    There is nothing wrong with meeting people online. I have met beautiful people online.

    You just have to be careful. Just like there are crazy people in person there are crazy people online…liars and cheaters so e-love seekers beware!!

    1. "Here" was also used, which leads me to believe that SBM (being the busy man that he is) was just typing this up in a hurry.

  7. I think I'm a bit of an e-pimp myself. I don't mess with MySpace but in the past couple of years all of my….extracurricular activities have had their genesis online.

    What can I say? I'm a much better seductress behind a keyboard.

    1. You are my hero Max..you're so honest.

      I wouldn't call myself an e-pimp due to my intent…but it's true that something like 90% of my dates/relationships originated online…*shrug* life's busy…

  8. e-Pimp, I mean… what a group of guys who decide to write a blog about sex and relationships and use it as a platform to sound off about their personal experiences and successes be considered e-Pimping?


    Back in the day you had those guys who had a black book, they are no different than a Buddy List on AIM, or Contacts on Gchat, it's a bunch of females that you trying to talk to, and if you use it the right way it can be successful.

    In other unrelated news, I do appreciate my connections with people away from the computer more, but about online dating or relationships… In my opinion, you actually really get a chance to know the person as a person more than a chick with a fat a*s you trying to beat, or you doing stuff like drinking so you can beat. I mean, when you typically date in person, you spend most of the time trying to beat, or you think something is wrong with the chick. At least online you have to spend some time talking about yourself before you d*ck is out.

      1. I don’t know about bcc-ing n-many at a time, but you’re right; we might not always be very peizsnalroed in our responses. The point is, it takes a certain amount of effort for someone to send us their application. The courteous thing to do is to respond, and we’ll do our best to encourage applicants and show our appreciation.

    1. @ Dr. J, it did cross my mind that the SBM crew probably gets a lot of e-panties thrown at them. I could be wrong but for some reason I highly doubt it.

      1. @RedLady –

        Because I love you like cooked food, i'm going to address this briefly but not in depth as I cannot kill my or my fellow bruddas promotions.

        The weird thing about it is, we get tons of e-panties thrown at us. But think about it, that could happen anyway just by being a successful Black man in America. Also, just like there are some losers who blog about a bunch of stuff and think they're hot because women are checking them online… yeah, there's a good number of women who read this stuff who are just like that. So there's a good chance it wasn't going to turn into anything anyway.

        BUT what really happens is because we have such a wealth of knowledge about Relationships we come across as like Oracles; we have own experiences, our readers and the research that we do on our own. Women come to us for advice or talk about relationships and then get the goo goo eyes… here's the secret, I speak for all male relationship bloggers when I say, here's what we're thinking 99% of the time, "After what you just told me, why in thee hell would I want to date you?"

        1. “After what you just told me, why in thee hell would I want to date you?”

          Another TKO for honesty 🙁

    2. Idk where my very insightful comment went but let's just Dr. Jay… we have finally found common ground. LAWD where is my casket? Lol.

      @Animate, you sir are a fool. lol.

      Question: If I meet a guy online, is it always considered online dating b/c we met originally on the innawebs? Or is it eventually just considered dating?

      1. I'd only consider it online dating until it is taken offline. When you start making phone calls and actually seeing them in person its back into the normal realm of "dating".

    3. Excellent points…knowing someone's mind before their body (even from a foot away) can be a great spring board for a relationship…

      The trick lies in the transition from the safety and somewhat surreality of the online mental relationship that has formed to the flesh and bones "damn you interrupt a lot" and "so you're really 5'6"?" realizations…

    1. Man I've been googling this ish for a week, can't find ish. *pouts* I assume I know what it is…but still I'd like to ogle too visual proof!

  9. I think the e-pimp as you describe him is still a loser. It'd be one thing if they were looking for a real connection with another human being, but using the internet just to get laid (or even e-laid) is sad to me.

    Also, I don't believe online dating is taboo or that there is anything wrong with it. However, it's not for me at this point in time.

    1. Agreed until you said e-laid…go ahead and get all the e-laid you want…but don't take advantage of chicks in real life that want something real and you're just in it for beats…

  10. E-pimpin…. I mean it was only a matter of time eh? I think e-pimps can be more dangerous than regular pimps. E-pimps slide in through your brain so you forget about their other (often visual) flaws. That man who has been making you giggle and think daily over g-chat? He's smoothed you over enough to pretend you don't see that wonky eye when yal finally meet.

    I aint mad at it.

    1. LMAO @wonkey eye

      Lady-"Why don't you take those sunglasses off?"

      E-pimp- "Uh naw baby I'm cool."

      Looking like MusiqSoulchild!

  11. I know I'm going to get ish for this but..

    *breathes sigh of relief that SBM got "here" right the third time*

    So maybe I have Nazi tendencies…*shrug*

  12. WHat are e-panties? Im lost…

    anyway, being on the net for the SOLE purpose of pimpin is a problem. I actually think the net leveled the playing ground. You know how nerds are taboo but once you get older women claim nerds are hot and who they want to date? Well the net gives nerds, socially awkward, and others the ability to communicate with smileys and memes and be cool. It gives their personas the ability to shine, then all they have to worry about is their real life persona.

    Have you ever met someone who seems so interesting online but you meet them in real life and get disappointed?! lol

    1. Um, Streetz – I made that up, but you know back in the day when a performer (think Teddy Pendegrass) would sing on stage — the women used to throw their panties on stage for him.

      So I said, I bet the SBM bloggers probably get a lot of E-panties thrown at them. Hope that makes sense.

      Dr. J clarified for me.

    2. OMG that would be a hell to the YES!!

      Meanwhile back at the ranch!!! Hence why I do less of the edating…

      Actually I am off the scene completely…time for an overhaul!

      "Have you ever met someone who seems so interesting online but you meet them in real life and get disappointed?!"

  13. I don't see anything wrong with trying to find someone thru dating websites because not for nothing people are busy in this day and age so that leaves less time for social gatherings and outings in hope of meeting someone.

    I know quite a few attorneys/doctors who are members of such dating sites mentioned above and their reason is exactly what I said previously (they don't have time to go out on the regular trying to find someone) so these websites make it a little easier for them to meet potential wifey or boobookins — just another way to expand your dating options *shrug*

    A friend of mine found her match on _____.com website a little over a year ago and they got married 2 months ago.

    The only pitfalls I've heard about in regards to these websites is that people tend to reinvent themselves and become a totally different person (i.e. Dude is married in REAL LIfe but single on the internet, or Chic may have like 3 kids in REAL life but only has 1 on the internet, Dude is a crossing guard in REAL life but a FBI agent/LT. of Law Enforcement on the internet, people lying about their appearances by putting up pics from 2 years ago or more before the receding hairline, extra chin, water barrel replaced the six pack, etc.)

    what Little Miss Sushine said : [E-pimps slide in through your brain so you forget about their other (often visual) flaws. ^^^^THAT'S REAL TALK^^^^

    Online dating is just like Physical Dating — you have to be careful and keep your eyes and ears open.

  14. When I think of e-pimps I think of the dudes who build a false persona to create the illusion of popularity.

    There is a famous Facebook e-pimp based in the Chicago area… dude has all these female friends who are really just model’s photos that he created false facebook profiles for and has all these dime chicks on his wall posting about how they want to fly him around the world and give him money.

    These are dudes who post pictures of them with girls at clubs… photos they got by watching women dancing by themselves and then getting up on her and snapping a picture of the two of them and then dripping off into the crowd.

    These dudes take pictures of cars and cribs that aren’t theirs to show you how they are living… I have even seen dudes take other bloggers words, not as quotes but as their own to woo women.

    It is lazy pimpin’ that can’t be pulled off in the real world so they have no other choice but to hit and quit because they can’t keep up the facade.

    And the reality is that even though they get a benefit in the short term it is not sustainable… how many girls do you get before your reputation for whackness becomes talked about in your e-circle.

    I can’t imagine that these dudes are getting many request for repeat performances unless she doesn’t get any real world attention.

    There is nothing admirable about e-pimping… it is just sad. ~JS

  15. I'm pretty late to this party….

    I certainly don't think of myself as an e-pimp. And yes, I do get e-panties thrown at me. Some things just need to be left on the web though.

    I've met a good number of readers out and about that under normal circumstances I might consider talking to (on that level). However, once I've learned the 30 ways you like it and your whole sexual history from a series of blog comments…ehhh. I guess the same could be said about me. I don't know where I'm going with this. I think it was related to a Dr. J comment. I'm hungry. Bye.

    1. Slim: However, once I’ve learned the 30 ways you like it and your whole sexual history from a series of blog comments…ehhh.

      30 ways you like it.

      That's What He Said………


      _____________/ (Here Lies GirlSixx)

    2. Eww, yeah. Who wants a woman that's open, honest, and actually enjoys sex. Gross!


      I razz 'cause I care. 😉

      P.S. to all the self proclaimed e-pimps that are getting e-panties thrown at you – some of it is harmless flirting…there's not one single man that I've met on a blog (or facebook, or twitter, et al) that can "get it" off the strength of his comments, and I've thrown many an e-panty. *cue "The More You Know" star graphic…*


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