Before any of you ask, yes I’m mad. I was initially going to write a completely different post today, but reading Slim’s post yesterday on rejection, and the ensuing comments, was the straw that broke the camel’s back [||]. All throughout the blogosphere, no matter what type of relationship/lifestyle/dating blog, I see that women look for a window into the male psyche. They want to know men’s opinions, what men think, their motives for certain actions, and the all encompassing “why”. I see a lot of the male bloggers post either their opinion, or a consensus of their beliefs about women, or just straight up give real talk to women on these views, only to see women go ape sh*t with negative responses! I’m not saying that having a diverging opinion on a topic is wrong, but its almost as if you are upset for a man thinking like a man. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks and I had an epiphany:
Women can’t handle the truth about men!
What’s funny is y’all will probably disagree, but yeah I’m convinced. Somewhere in the purgatory that lies between expectations and reality, stands women who believe that their perception of men SHOULD be identical, but get frustrated when the reality is totally different. It comes out in arguments, blog comments, behavioural patterns, even in pop culture! I even remember last year when we had our now infamous “You Mad?!” week, where we were accused of woman bashing, when in fact we were doing what women do about men from the time they come out the womb: VENTING! This is not a generalization but an observation that I had for a while. Allow me to expound upon this topic further:
Women think men think all the same, and discredit their opinions on relationships
For years, we’ve been force fed the notion of men being “simple creatures” and women being “emotional creatures”. I hate these terms as much as I hate seeing “Bad Girls Club” tweets on my timeline while I’m trying to watch the BCS championship! We here so much about “what men want” and “what women go through to give it to them”, that it almost seems like our opinion is always met with a O_0 and a “yeah aite”. I think that it’s a built in “kanyeshrug” from women to downplay our views on these topics because frankly, you think you are better at this dating/relationship life than men and since you are the “experts” or “most experienced”, our word isn’t as valuable.
Think about this though, all those questions you ask, those crazy situations, those wtf moments when you don’t know how a relationship broke down or why a dude stepped out on you? Well, some of us have been THAT dude, lived THAT life, and know THOSE motives behind the actions. Some of us have seen these situations unfold from watching our boys go through it and give their perspective. Some have friends just like you who go through the struggle and have great advice. We, as men, have an insider knowledge for you to have a better understanding, similar to on the job experience and wisdom, so wouldn’t we have a better perspective than you?
Women get upset when men give them a perspective they hoped was wrong
You might have given it up too quickly. You might have called a dude an hour after getting his number. Maybe you had sex with 5 dudes in one night, put it on camera, and posted it to your Tumblr account. For whatever reason, you may think these actions shouldn’t make you any less appealing to men, yet when a man tells you either face to face, during a happy hour, or in blog comments that he would never date a woman like that, you get mad! It’s like your worries were confirmed and now you lash out! Yes, those examples were extreme, but think of the woman who asks her boyfriend if she’s fat. When he confirms, he’s the @sshole right? That’s so wack to me!
Listen ladies, there are HELLA dudes out here who are hittin you with more G than a little bit. They’re gonna lie man they really don’t care, they’ll tell you women whatever you wanna hear! You should respect the fact that real dudes will tell you what men are thinking and why they have that perspective. If you want to converse and try to find middle ground, then great! However, to sit and deny that there may be truth and logical standing for his theorems is being childish and naive.
In closing, communication is a two-way street. Don’t demonize men because we have an opinion or our point of view on things. When you have an opportunity to pick a man’s brain, especially if he’s a friend, your brother, your father, or even a random blogger like myself, those dudes will tell you the real because there’s no vested interest for them, as opposed to dudes you date/smash. Sometimes, well most of the time the truth hurts. The question you have to ask yourself is “does ignorance and naivety hurt more?”