A friend of the family recently invited me to church with her. Probably not a big deal to most people, but I don’t go to church. I have my reasons but they’re not really important to the context of this blog. Admittedly, had she not been a friend of the family I would have turned her down but you know how that goes. I figured I’d be polite.
However, I found it off putting the manner in which she asked me to attend and then the subsequent reason she advised I go. For one, when she found out I didn’t go to church she didn’t bother to venture further into my belief in or relationship with God or why I don’t attend church. Instead, she launched into a spill about my obvious sinful ways, a myriad of other poorly conceived theories and then she offered what I thought to be a weird conciliatory price for my attendance, though I have heard it mentioned before. Upon finding out I didn’t have a girlfriend she demanded suggested I go to church because “there are a lot of good, single women there.”
Now, I don’t go to church but if I did it wouldn’t be to find women. Honestly, that seems like a weird reason for me to attend and for someone to suggest I attend. Logically, I guess it is not that strange of a concept. If you are looking for a kindred Christian spirit, then I guess the church would be the best place to look, as opposed to say the club or Starbucks. Nevertheless, I’m not sure I would view church as the ‘hook up’ spot. Then again, what do I know.
I’m getting older and even though I’m not technically looking for anything serious, I’m always looking for something serious. For example, I was talking to a friend who was getting married and she wasn’t sure if she would be able to reserve the venue she wanted because you had to be a member of the church in order for them to host the wedding. I had really never considered this. I didn’t even know this was the case at any church, because when it comes to weddings – like most men – just tell me the day, the time and where to stand. I could really care less about anything else.
My friend and her husband-to-be (but more her than him I’m sure) were debating if they should join the church so they could have their wedding there. To me, this is akin to the people who only go to church on Sundays coinciding with major holidays like Easter, New Year’s Eve and Christmas and then call themselves devout religious church goers as if they can build up credit with God. This seemed like quite the sacrifice in my opinion for one day but I know how women feel about their weddings so I dared not question her wisdom.
These experiences did make me wonder if I met a woman and fell in love, would I be willing to join a church or a religion to be with her? I’m not sure. While this hasn’t been a major issue in the past – it has been a minor one in the fact that some women I’ve dated would have preferred I went to church with them – it might become an area of serious contention in the future. Especially when it comes to family.
Sure, the woman who loves me might get over my beliefs but what about her family, assuming they are devoutly religious? In addition, how would we raise our kids? Furthermore, would I be willing to lose a woman I love simply because I’m not willing to join or convert and vise versa, would she be willing to lose me? Can you really be upset at a person for trying to improve or strengthen your relationship with God, even if you don’t agree with their methods?
I’m happy to bring the readers into the discussion: So including the questions above, do you attend church in the hopes of finding someone who is already demonstrating shared religious values? Have you had success? If so, do you find men/women you meet at church more compatible with your needs than meeting strangers through random dating situations? Where do you non-church members aka “sinful heathens” go to meet men and women of marriage worthy quality? And if your first thought is ‘the club’ slap yo self three times with two bibles…