Friend of SBM: It’s just so hard!
SBM: That’s what she said.
FOS: Come on. I’m serious. I don’t want to be alone all my life. I need a mate.
SBM: Well … you are your own worst enemy.
FOS: Why do you say that? You are always blaming me for my singleness.
SBM: Because it’s your fault. You are way to picky. You expect too much. It’s crazy.
SBM: I’m serious. $100K Salary, Good Job, Good Body, Good Income … sheeettt! Your person has to literally be perfect.
FOS: I’ve spent a lot of money and time climbing the corporate ladder. I think it’s only right I have a good person up here with me.
SBM: You are the single pickiest guy in existence.
Yes … my friend is a man.
I know I often come off as a “woman basher”. It may seem that I have a lot of inflammatory things to say about the opposite sex. Some may dare even say that I am hard on women. As a result, many of you thought that I was talking about a woman. #MadeYouLook
The fact that women can often create unrealistic and insurmountable lists of requirements for their mates has been well documented. From the several million people on twitter that are quick to give a #cosign when I say anything about “demanding women”. Or go check out any of the 38 “relationship panels” in your area. There will be at least one educated black man who will go on a rant about how the black women is ruining black love with her pickiness. Yeah … I had my issues with black women, but even with all the problems that exist, even SBM thinks they get a bad rap.
And while guys get beat up on a lot too, there are a few areas we are a little shielded from. There are just a few things that guys don’t get yelled about as much. Call it a double standard, call it the way of the universe, call it whatever … it’s fact.
It wasn’t until I began a deep discussion with my good friend about his love life that caused something to “click”. He was too picky. He was suffering from the exact same problem that I have been diagnosing women with. The list of minimum criteria that he had for women could fill a small volume. The job, level of education, and rankings of undergraduate degree all merged to form a … superwoman.
And then I thought …
I thought back to myself. I thought back to the time when I only dated women with Master’s degrees (I didn’t have one). I remember the girl who I deducted points from because I thought her undergrad school was some crap. I remember the woman whose place of employment actually became another item on her list of negatives.
Yes … I was bad … I admit it
And just like I grew up and realized the error of my ways, I assumed that everyone did. I assumed that every man came to the conclusion that such shallow things wouldn’t make them happy. I figured that every guy had their similar “ah-ha” moment and saw the light. I thought every guy realized that the biggest indicators to relationship happiness are good head, cooking ability, complimentary personalities, and love and support.
Pickiness, whether is be from men or women, is detrimental to black love. Don’t get me wrong, have standards and stick to them, but don’t be close minded. Don’t be too shallow. Think hard and long about your list … and keep that sh*t short. You’ll be surprise by how much you can overlook for someone that makes you feel good.
So, are there a lot of picky men out there? Are there a group of guys getting together and comparing long lists of female requirements? Are there dudes out here that will never reach that moment of “how to pick a wife” clarity?
– SBM aka I just need good head aka Had to date a hood chick before my moment