Don't be a Sharon.
I walked into the Boston office like I did on any other icy morning in one of the rudest cities in the United States. I defrosted by the closet, went and placed my bag at my desk, then dragged myself to the kitchen to make a cup of sub-par coffee. You know, the kind where you put the little cup into the machine and choose 4,6,8,10, or 12 ounces? Yeah. That. Anyway, I saw my co-worker Sharon looking slightly less energetic than normal. “Hey Sharon!” I shouted out with false excitement. I’m not much of a morning person. Sharon usually caught me with her post-workout pep, but something was different that day. It appeared as if curiosity had finally killed her cat, Snuggles. “Not much Slim. I got some bad news last night,” she depressingly replied. I stood fumbling around in the fridge hoping she’d save her woes for Rosa. But after about 20 seconds of looking for the dairy creamer that was clearly right in front of me, I realized there was no escaping the conversation. After all, I’m an HR person. We’re paid to bake cookies and listen.
I had no choice but to begrudgingly inquire about the reasons for her overwhelming and dramatic sadness. Sharon sighed and slumped into one of the seats. “I found out that a co-worker at my last job cheated on his fiance with some Jezebel.” I was already annoyed, but I let her continue. “They were such a nice couple. So much for the wedding this summer,” she said as I watched and waited for her to exhale. I sipped my coffee to keep from laughing then proceeded to indulge. “Were you close friends with his wife?” Sharon looked up at me, slowly shook her head, then returned to her crestfallen state. “How did you find this out and why are you so upset by it?” I knew what was coming, but I still couldn’t help but to be a bit shocked by the words that followed because I was hoping she’d prove me wrong.
“I saw that their status changed on Facebook at the end of the day yesterday, and I called someone that I used to work with at TechnoStaff to see what happened as soon as I got home. I’ve been devastated ever since.”
“Oh. Damn. That’s unfortunate. Were you supposed to go to the wedding?” I knew the answer, so it was no surprise when she said “No. I just thought they were great together. It just hurts me to know John would do something like that to Lena. I’m gonna call her today to see if I can help. ” I looked at my Blackberry as if I had a call and then hustled out the kitchen with the phone to my ear and nobody on the other end. I couldn’t take listening to her anymore. She normally looked like a 7, but at that moment she resembled an aging 3.
Sharon was a 35 year old single woman with no prospect for love looming anywhere in her near future. She was reliable, intelligent, and thoughtful. Sharon was a dedicated churchgoer and more than likely had the potential to be a good wife. Sharon was also incredibly nosey and consistently entangled in the business of others. In the 2 years that I knew her, she had focused so much on the relationships and happenings of colleagues, celebrities, and friends that she forgot to worry about herself. It was a seemingly sad existence.
I couldn’t date a Sharon. If she was like this at work then I could only imagine what her life was like outside the office. For that matter, I couldn’t imagine any man like me dating someone this nosey or dating a woman with a bunch of Sharons in her life. It’s just not worth it when there are already so many other things to be concerned with than the business of others.
So the moral of the story is unless you want to be a Sharon, get a hobby, mind your business, and worry about yourself. Otherwise you run the risk of being single forever with the closest thing to a mate being a cat named Snuggles. Do you want that life? I sure as hell don’t.
Do you have any Sharon stories? What’s the fine line of being a considerate person that values relationships and being a nosey ass Sharon? Other thoughts? You betcha.
Sharing is caring unless you’re Sharon and love-barren,
I have really got to stop reading your posts right before bed because its just so amusing. I'm literally lol! My neighbors are surely askin' wth! Your disgust for Sharon is so palpable and relevant. Never thought about it as an issue of being nosey but more so insecurity and despair that leads to this kind of miserable existence. Even if Sharon wasn't so dang nosey I have a feelin there would be some underlying character flaw that would leave her single."She normally looked like a 7, but at that moment she resembled an aging 3." Why is this quote so funny to me? Great and ever so witty post! Good night!
Thanks. I guess I did express a pretty high level of disdain.lol
Have you ever read the comments on any black gossip website on an article about some hip-hop/r&b power couple (beyonve/jay, ashanti/nelly for that matter)? The world is filled with nosey Sharons, who always seem to get themselves worked up over stuff that has nothing to do with them. And people will have actual conversations about people they barely know (if at all). Kinda sad, but someone has to be the cat lady in life.
lol. basically.
I'm not a Sharon and don't have any Sharon-type women as friends. That said, what's wrong with a woman staying single? Why do most men assume all women want to be married or in a relationship? What do you think about straight women who prefer to stay single and unattached?
BTW, I'm assuming that you know that Sharon wants to be in a relationship, so I'm not talking about her.
Hi Rosalind,
I don't think there's anything wrong with a woman not wanting to get married. However, it's hard for me to understand why someone would choose to be alone and not have a significant relationship with somebody for the rest of their life, yet continuously be entangled in the relationships of others. That just sounds kinda sad to me. I'd be curious to know how someone that's not extremely ugly or a victim of some type of extreme trauma or mental defect would rationally come to the conclusion of "I don't think I ever wanna be with anybody."
I wasn't talking about a Sharon who wanted to stay single. I'm talking about normal, regular women like me. I'm not ugly, and I don't have any mental defects, but I've pretty much decided that if my current relationship doesn't work out, I'm going to stay single. I'll never say never, but I'm really not pressed about it anymore.
I'm 40-years-old and I've already done the marriage thing once, so I'm like "been there, done that". At this point in my life, I prefer peace of mind over p*nis. I just don't see the reward being worth the risk anymore.
The Sharon's have a place in this world ,just like hoes…
#ThatIsAll
bwhahahaha. true story.
the funniest thing = the 'Sharon' in my office… really is Sharon. =/
Except my Sharon is married, so this must be a recent development.
New Question
What are these other office/outside of work types that are most likely to end up alone or in a state of relationship disarray because of their tragic character flaw.
Just like I alluded to in my comment. It's the people who think their coworkers are their friends. Can't lie I have some outside of work relationships with some of my coworkers, but not ALL. Some people have no identities outside of work, so work is their lives and thus their colleagues are their friends. Can't lie though, some corporations foster this environment.
You know who I hate the most at work, the person who brings all their outside troubles into the office. I remember one time this chick got a week off from work because she broke up with her boyfriend. What?! Come on son, that's not cool. Why are you balling in the weekly status meeting? That's not cool. Or the people who talk about their dating life and family life in the office, just tacky. You ever heard someone take a REALLY personal phone call at work? "Nah, tell that little b*tch i'm not lending her no money because she still owe me from last time!" I know exactly why you can't find a man, because you're an emotional wreck. If you can't hold it together at work, then I know at home, you must have serious issues.
I guess a close second would be the person who works too much and put their job ahead of everything in their life. Especially in my field of client service, it's just weird because the firm doesn't give a sh*t about you. If you leave, they just replace you. That's a weird type of entity to be giving your all to like that. Being an experienced professional and having to mentor lower level staff, it's awkward having to explain this to people about their work/life balance, but… to each their own I guess.
Trainwrecks.
Those co-workers who think the office is their group therapy session. Work is a safe haven from all of their effed-up personal relationships and so they come in and spew way too much information about their,abortions, and that married man they can't stop creeping with, and the rash that just won't go away.
Do people really come to work talking about abortions?
A variation… this mid-level employee got knocked up by a dude in the mailroom and people had a full out conversation in the lunch lounge about why she should get an abortion.
I shut the whole conversation down by telling them, (a) ex-nay on the baby go away talk, (b) she probably gonna keep it because at the end of the day she was sleeping with that dude and she's almost 30. Women get older and even if they in a bad situation they keeping it.
They ended up staying together, he's mad young though, he's holding it together very nicely. I'd like to think that at 23, I was a little smarter than the average bear. If a 30 year old is smashing you off raw doggy, either she's giving or she's keeping.
(a) ex-nay on the baby go away talk,
LMAO I Can't Take It…
That is just too much information.
Abortions, coked-out nights with clients, the man who cut her hair off in her sleep, the time her brother tried to choke her to death…I know EVERYTHING about this chick and the best part is that most of these conversations were with us and our CEO. There is just no filter. None at all.
Co-sign!
It gets increasingly awkward when that person is the associate director, a 55 year old male, discussing the lady he brought home from a bar on Saturday that turned out to be an animal in bed. The first time he shared something like this at lunch me and me colleague sat astonished, unable to swallow the food in our mouths. Dude had NO sense of boundaries. As this happened on a regular basis I ended up talking to him about it (last one employed, but the only one with b*lls enough to call him out on it). He could not for the life of him understand how this was inappropriate as he was just trying to "foster a friendly environment among us co-workers". Eventually I made him realize that especially in a position of power as his it might not be ideal to discuss your sexual adventures, especially when all your employees are women.
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The Office Romeo, can we talk about this dude…always, inquiring about the new girl..trying to see where he can fit in..he usually ends up dating the new girl and then drops her like a hot potato…very awkward.
I have a good story:
I worked at the firm in DC and this guy was dating this woman in the office for about six months..he would bring a rose into work everyday..and place it on her desk before she got in…they would bring there sleeping bags to work..so, they could stay late together…we thought they were headed to the alter…then around Christmas, something happened..HE broke it off…the Christmas party came around and he brought another lady…she had no idea he had even moved on that fast..she pulled him aside at the party..asked him "who dis woman"…it got ugly. We all felt so bad for the co-worker…he continued to date the new lady, they got married, had 4 kids.and are still together. Go figure.
Moral: Don't date people you work with.
I don't know any Sharon’s.
If I did I would transfer my calls to her at 5pm because although I don't go looking for people to tell me about their day—I get at least 2 phones call per day from people wanting me to listen.
I just think most women like to talk and some are so empathetic, they actually feel bad when bad things happen to others around them.
Sharon isn't so bad and I am not sure what her concern for others has to do with her being single.
The Instigator. We all know this type. They let everyone know who's talking about them because "they are a real friend". This causes a bunch of drama and this person is loving the attention. They're in HR once a month. Everyone talks about everyone, there's no need to go and tell the other person what was said unless you're a pot stirrer. The only exception to this is if you see the person hanging out with someone you know is not their friend. I will let you know to NOT go to Karla's house for the Mary Kay party cause she don't like you. Nevermind she said you ugly and your breath stinks, I won't go into detail. lol
I would rather deal with the "Sharon's" then those cut-throat azz "Tracy" types in the office that are out to make you look bad..trying to get you fired or constantly causing confusion. Sharon is not that bad…to be honest, I've been Sharon before back in the day but not anymore…shoot, there is a Sharon in every office..you just have to learn to deal with it…but, I don't think Sharon is malicious at all..she like drama and she means well..but, she needs to learn to mind her own business…but, if there is a "Tracy" anywhere in the office she will set her straight soon enough…LOL 🙂
I am dying at Tracy. This gives me an idea for a new question…
Nah Queen, #nosign. I'll tell you what else Sharon does that is not good for the game. She goes above and beyond and does a little too much. Sharon says stuff like: "If you don't tell your wife what happened in Vegas, I will." She's that girl in the office with one Sr. VP and two new hires, one of which is ugly as hell who says stuff like, "I'm not saying any names, but there is a member of senior leadership who is clearly sleeping with the new girl." Sharon epitomizes those people at work who think they're friends with their coworkers. No you do not know me, no you are not part of my family, no you are not my friend, you are my coworker, let's keep it trilla.
Dry snitching is an epidemic, y'all.
Crazy women who will do whatever they want to do because THEY think it's the right thing to do, need to be shot.
Funny thing about coworkers like Sharon is they don't realize that at work you are professional, but in your personal life you don't play that ish. Then they push you to angry Black man status by getting personal. That's when you get real with a chick and cuss her out and people looking at you like… "Daaaaaaaamn, I ain't even know Jay had a mean streak like that."
i love this whole comment.
i know women JUST like this. ew.
I think Doc knows the same Sharon I know.lol
Nah, J! LOL
I had to go back and read what Slim wrote about Sharon..and what he wrote and what you are saying doesn't jibe…this girl is harmless…she's just overly involved in another person's drama…she probably has 5 cats, hasn't dated in years,..she's not the one in the office talking about the senior VP and all that..this girl, was literally in a saddened state because she heard of a FORMER co-worker being dumped..you can't fake that. She doesn't have any malicious intent at all.
You really can form true and lasting friendships on the job..I did. You see these people everyday. You eat lunch with a person everyday…you can become really close. I am still close with many former co-workers over a decade later….
"Crazy women who will do whatever they want to do because THEY think it’s the right thing to do, need to be shot."
First off, aint nothing wrong with being crazy…especially if you look good while doing it. lol Anywho, you just reminded me of when snitching goes wrong. I have a circle of friends, most are couples and someone brought a new girl to the group. She seemed nice but long story short, she was having an affair with one of the men who is married. We all knew but no one said anything. So here comes my dumb @ss and sends the wife an anonymous email letting her know about it EXCEPT my own loving friend told her that I sent it. 1:15am I'm getting multiple calls back to back. First she acted like she was thankful for me telling her the truth…then I got the cuss out of the century by her and her husband. Never again.
"So here comes my dumb @ss and sends the wife an anonymous email letting her know about it EXCEPT my own loving friend told her that I sent it."
See? It ended poorly for Snooki and JWWOW and it'll end the same way for you. Hopefully there's a Situation in your group to keep her from pummeling you in the break room.
/jk :0P
In this situation (no Mike), SFG is Snooki/JWoWW, not Sammi. Sammi is the one that would have caught the beatdown if it weren't for the guys being there to stop JWoWW. #justsayin
*douses Sane with jar of pickle juice*
*jumps in cab and heads to Karma for a night of fist pumpin'*
This is why my momma told me to never bring that news to another woman.
LOL I actually went to twitter at the time asking what would everyone do and EVERYONE said don't do it. I actually got the idea from Jersey Shore and someone said to send it anonymously. lolol
Woo Chile!!
FTR: Anonymous means Just That. ANONYMOUS. NoBODy could ever know except Sweet Baby Jeebus.
You said you got the idea from JS, I guess you missed the episode when both Ronnie and Sammi turned on ole girl huh. *lol*
At Dr. J:
So, tell us how you really feel about Sharon. She hasn’t let you get in them panties yet huh? It’s okay…Maybe Tracy will.
Flatlined …………………………………………….
Hm..What's the line between considerate and nosey? Well, I, like most women (and way more men than would admit) have a bit of a gossip gene in me. Not a gossip, though. No one would call me that but only because I also have a pretty good mirror image gene. I can see when I'm starting to mirror behavior that I normally dislike in others. So…the line is this…if the person comes to you and confides in you, then it's not being nosey or meddling. But if you hear something, then actively seek out that person wanting to get the juice, you're nosey. Some would say, but she's a close friend at work and I really, genuinely only wanted to offer my sympathy and try to offer comfort. Well, if she were that close a friend you would have heard it from her, not through the grapevine so maybe you not only have to consider the extent of your nosiness but also how it is you define who is a close friend. Obviously, you're off the mark. Focus on you, guaranteed you'll find something you can work on. I can at any given moment find an area for improvement and I think God did pretty damn good already.
I was reading and waiting for you to ask the question I would have asked. "Why the he11 do you care?"
This.
I have Sharons and Tracys at my job. See there are only like 3 other women at the lab below the age of 30, so all these old hags as I call them are always trying to get in my business. Always probing me for info, where did you go this weekend? Who are you dating now? Yesterday somebody came up to me and said " I saw you aren't going to be at work Valentine's day weekend, are you going out of town?" How is that your business? So I usually give them one word answers, they think I'm a little snot because I won't get them a live version of the young and the restless. That's fine with me because we're coworkers not friends. Get hobby and stop worrying about me, because I'm definitely not concerned about you.
Sharons are and will always be around. they are bothersome, nosey, all-in-everybody-else's-koolaid, and i've never understood it.
however, i don't think they are malicious. just maybe their life is void of anything worth minding so they mind the business of others… which if you ask me is the problem. if you don't spend so much time worrying about others, you then have time to worry about yourself.
don't get me wrong, when i worked in an office setting, i knew all the drama. it can be entertaining and make the day go by faster. but that's because it was presented to me, and i was usually the one sought after for advice on what to do. but to seek it out when it clearly has nothing to do with you whatsoever and care to the point of it reflecting in your mood when it's not affecting your life in any manner is just… too much.
Isn't that the basis for gossip sites though? I'll bet you know all about Beyonce.
It's okay. You can tell me. Being all up in the Kool-aid of folks you don't even know? I'm doing it right now. I just read a riveting Wikipedia profile of Jeff Goldblum.
isn't what the basis of gossip sites?
i know about beyonce because beyonce is inescapable. lol.
i don't frequent gossip sites so i learn about celebrity drama when my little sister or a friend shares it. that's pretty much it.
the difference is, letting that information about someone else's life affect your mood or behavior. then it goes beyond the realm of entertainment.
jeff goldblum is actually one of my fav actors. go figure. lol
being that concerned about people you don't even know like that is CREEPY. There is no other way to describe Sharon. and finding out via facebook?! girl bye. get some business of your own. that pathetic.
Maybe us Black women are cold-hearted and worry too much about our own problems (joke) because I don't know any Sharons in my personal life…now at work, hell yeah. The women at my job are nosey but I don't think that's what keeps them single…or any nosey woman for that matter. It's many reasons, like fairytale expectations when it comes to love and not putting themselves out there to meet men because they are always with their "girlfriends". (run on I know)
I will admit that I'm one of those friends that everyone comes to with their problems. I'm good at giving relationship advice but I rarely apply it to myself. Anywho, I don't think there's anything wrong with empathizing and being there for friends. Nosey? I'm too busy with my own life for that.
Oh wait, I lied…there's this one woman at my job who is the debbie downer. She's always getting in everyone's business, gossiping and telling everyone to leave their man cause he's no good. I have pictures of my daughter all over my office and every time she comes in and says "When's the baby daddy moving down?" I feel like killing her. I hate that type.
I'm with you. Debbie Downers suck. And not always in the good way. Damn prudes. But a nosey chick wouldn't turn me off like a negative heffa who clearly believes that misery loves company so she's buying out the bar.
Most of them just need you to put it on their forehead one good time though. Cheers 'em right up.
LMMAAAOOOO!!! Nothing like a good D slap across the face to straighten a jabber jaw out. lol
LMMAAAOOOO!!! Nothing like a good D slap across the face to get you a few complaints from the HR Dep.
-fixed.
The Non-Obsidian :0P
LOL…please don't type his name. He might come here. lol
I think Sharon is just lonely and she really means well. There are worse characteristics a person can have.
Agreed. There are worse characteristics. However this is one that really turns me off and partially explains the result of worrying about everybody else but yourself. The road to loneliness is paved with good intentions.
I know that's not the actual phrase, but it works for the purpose of this post.
I guess I never really run into Sharon's at work. I see more of the types that want to tell you ALL about their lives. It's awfully painful to listen. I only ask "how was your weekend?" to be polite.
I friggin hate nosey people. Like with a passion. Why are you so concerned about other people's lives? Especially those that you have no value in.
Are there male versions of Sharon? If so, he must be dealt with ASAP.
I never met a male version. I hope that I never do. I think the extent of what I hear from dudes is "yo, did he beat? I heard he smashed that chick. Is it true?"
There were male versions, by the time this question comes up, they've already been dealt with. It ensures our survival… #realtalk
I'm sorry, but if being nosey equated to singledom, marriage would have died out with the Charlotte Brontosaurus and her cousin Stegosaurus Lee and 'nem. Not that every woman is extremely nosey but dames like knowing sh*t. It's what dames do. They know sh*t. And impart their emotions into sh*t.
Very few broads have caught a major L by being nosey. I think most dudes expect it in some capacity. Hell, I'd bet good dough that if Sharon was a dime you'd have listened a little more intently. Shoot, if she looks good I'll listen more intently.
Point is, from your story, Sharon doesn't even seem obnoxious with it. Does she care more than she should? Yes. But isn't' that basis of life? We fawn all over sports teams filled with players who will never know our names or care if we root for them or not. We invest in rap beefs like we make any money from it. Shoot, when I go to the strip club I care about my strippers life. It's why I tip extra. I don't even know her real name and I follow her on Twitter. At least Sharon has some passion.
You follow your stripper on Twitter.
Ionno why, but this amuses me 🙂
Once you get past the tassles and amazingly invisible thong (and rule that you can't touch them…) she really has some very deep insights about the economy and school lunch programs. I've found myself impressed by her working knowledge of the criminal justice system. I usually tweet her before I tweet my lawyer.
This whole post kilt me dead. You care about your strippers? Well aren't you sweet. And you're right. I was thinking that we have much bigger and destructive personality types than Sharon. Plus we can listen to bullsh*t on any given day so this shouldn't be too bad.
Shoutout to Slim for his Clyde Frazier inspired line at the end of his post! Splendiferous!
I know a Sharon from my former work place, but her name was more like Sharad…he was the worst. I knew stuff before I even got to work cause he would send out a mass text. Lol, the terrible thing about Sharon's though is my perception of some of the people I worked with changed because Sharon is usually right. I think if we give the Sharon's of the world their own fulfilling life, they might just stop. Other than that, Sharon is a funny person to have around. To answer the other question, I think the WORST office characteristic is passive aggressive…I don't see how this is productive in ANY relationship.
I've come to the conclusion a long time ago that most people I encounter on the job I would have stomped into oblivion a long time if we met under any other curcumstances. It's hard being a reformed thug in a corporate environment. If these bammas only knew…….
*dead*
Let us not forget however that the Sharons of the world are encouraged by the Johns.
John told her (or others) about his significant other. He friended her on facebook (and we all know how much of your business gets put out there- whether or not you mean too).
This is not to say that Sharons wouldn't exist without the Johns but she gets her fuel from people who share too much.
You make an excellent point. Touchè.
this was a really interesting concept thanks. lol
http://amartianslove.wordpress.com/
I hate it when I read the posts at the end of the day after all of the funny hoopla has died down. Alas, I've been busy lately and my blog commenting has slowed considerably. (lament).
Anyway, I laughed at Slim's reactions and story telling. I was picturing his face as he stared at the milk/creamer in the refrigerator.
We have no Sharon's in our office. We do however have the old civil rights throw back lady that scares people at the front desk. We have the chick who's husband beats her and hides her black eyes with a ton of foundation. We have the chick who's been ran through by many of the men who work here and we have the two that won't stop laughing about all of it (that's me and my co-worker Sherill).
Sherill and I actually had to be separated…the laughter was too boisterous for a high profile office. Such is life.
Sherrill and Sharon sound very similar.
No Sharons ova here
I know a few Sharons, Traceys, Isha the Instigator and Carl the Casanova in my workplace but at the end of the day it makes my workday more productive and the time seems to fly by. They all serve their purpose in life. *MyEarsStayBurning*
I have a Sharon on twitter. I know her in real life and that's the ONLY thing keeping me from unfollowing her, well that and the fact that she'd STILL be following me which defeats the purpose.
Anyway, I can tweet my twitter hubby or that one follower (or two) that I have that I've said could get it and immediately my phone is ringing with a text "who's your twitter hubby" or "who did you say could get it". Some days she's even bold enough to tweet me about it. I politely tweet her back with a "you don't know him" (which doesn't stop her from inquiring). Like why does it matter, you have NO idea who these people are. And you never will.
She has my email (that she never uses, thank goodness) and twitter. We will NEVER be facebook friends, ever.
And then she has the AUDACITY to tweet how she hates others in her business.
Homey !!! OMG… I subscribe to this blog but hardly ever have time to read so I'm months behind! But this is EXACTLY what I was trying to tell a friend yesterday!
So she gave her cousin's digits (by his request) to a friend, a week later the cousin pulled a D!CK move by texting her friend a message meant for someone else and brushing it off with a LOL …. and she is PISSED and now plans on giving her cousin the icy shoulder. The "friend" is cool with it, she and the cousin only spoke a couple times and nothing else ever happened between them ….. why is my friend so pissed and tells me "that's the way I am…" I cant even imagine why she is mad over someone else's relationship stuff … she also stays pissed at other ppl's men when girls vent to her…..
I think its nuts but she's a buddy! I just know she can't ever know when my hunny eff's up!