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Men Cant Handle The Truth

104

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post about women not being able to handle the truth about men. Well, I believe that turnabout is fair play, so men, it’s time you learned to handle the truth too! There are certain things about women that you need to know. Certain ideas that you may have that have been a fallacy perpetuated by teenage love sitcoms and whoever makes those “Save the Last Dance” type flicks. Let me open your thoughts to a few “truths” that need to be proven false:

Yes women do pass gas and have bowel movements



I remember a naive moment in my life when i thought that all women’s farts smelled like lilac and daffodils, and that their bodies made it unnecessary to use the bathroom, especially if I was attracted to them. However, this notion was thwarted the moment I was born into a family with my mom, my sisters, and aunts. Yes men, they do all of this nasty ish and more. In fact, be prepared to walk into any bathroom when they are on the toilet, because you love them and you’re acting like a little kid if you don’t! (Their words, NOT mine!)

Woman have had bigger and better than you

I never assume that I am the G.O.A.T lover of any woman, unless she is a virgin. Otherwise, you have to figure that she’s had that one dude who is, in her mind, the apex Mandingo warlord that ran through her coochie kingdom like Genghis Khan and claimed it as new territory. She may TELL you that you are, or say you’re up there, but most of the time it’s not the case. See, women will protect us from our own egos because they feel we are too fragile to hear realism. I think this is a case by case basis, but you let them tell it, you’d think men would want to Plaxico themselves if they hear that their motion isn’t making and waves in the ocean!

See Also:  Why Sometimes Perfection Fails

Woman  are not angels in the bedroom, and weren’t angels before you met them

You know that thing she does with her tongue? The one that hits the spot every single time and makes your toes curl like the Grinch? Yeah my g, she’s had practice, and not on you! This isn’t a bad thing though and most men act like its atrocious. I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather have an experienced woman in the bedroom than a work in progress. I’m not saying be a porn all star, but ACT like one!

They didn’t start screaming names and asking for c*mshots in the face when you started dealing with them. They didn’t wake up one day and say “Babe, I want you to use the Energizer Bunny on me, I’m tired of using it on myself”. This is a preference they have, built over time. For you lucky bastards who enjoy these pleasantries nightly, I bow respectfully to thee!

Women talk about the shyt men talk about, but are more XXX than PG

You want to be traumatized as a man? Eavesdrop on a conversation between women when they’re talking about men & sex. Wow. To say they talk like dudes is an understatement! This was another level!!! My ears started bleeding and my left hand trembled like Anthony Hopkins in “The Rite”. I was shocked, because although I only overheard like 2 minutes, it sounded WAY WORSE than hour long conversations I’ve held with men about chicks n sex! No judgement necessary, but I always heard that they talk worse than us, and it was confirmed… oh boy!!

See Also:  Why Do Women Get Angry At Men For No Reason?

There you go fellas. No more frontin necessary. Grow up and take the veil over your eyes dudes! Ladies, am I fabricating anything? Is there anything else you’d like to share?

Growing up with women has left me devoid of all innocence,

Comment(104)

    1. *makes finger across throat motion* Remember the first rule of gchat Cheekie! The first rule of gchat…I really don't wanna have to kill you, you're a sweet kid.

      1. "Remember the first rule of gchat Cheekie! The first rule of gchat…I really don’t wanna have to kill you, you’re a sweet kid."

        Remember it? Did you see anything revealed up there? Come on now! 😉

        1. a) group gchat sessions are a myth. They don't exist.

          b) if said convos did happen, inviting a man into them would be the equivalent of inviting your girl to a bachelor party. It just isn't done, no matter how good it sound in theory.

        2. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret… there has been a guy or two who has had the great fortune to be invited to a chat session in the past.

          It's been a long while though.

  1. Thanks Streetz! Knowing I should be asleep but had to read your latest! Thanks for bursting a few little bubbles. Hope you didn't hurt the guys too bad. In the meantime, keep shedding light on what people want to talk about but are too scared to say it.

  2. I couldnt agree anymore with this list. You know #THATAWKWARDMOMENTWHEN you walk in a group of women and everyone gets quiet. YUP! It happens and women go iiiiiinnnnn, I've witnessed this as well. Imaadmit that yes we men have our ego's and we act naive when we find out some of the things our S/O is capable of. No man wants to know that the n**** before him was laying it down like Brian Pumper and she learned how to "act" like a pr0n star from him… "YEEZY TAUGHT ME", lol. So fellas, I say its good to know what she capable of in and out the bedroom, just to know, and we need to stop being naive to things like dimes passing gas,cuz everyone does!

    #Tisall…. @primo_supremo

  3. Yessir and a Co-sign!

    I think most men know about number one…I would hope. But, the rest they try to remain in denial about.

    I wish there was more to say but it's all true 🙂

  4. hilarious yet informative at the same time. Now, can the guys stop acting like lil embryonic p*ssies about it? We are real humans…

  5. *chuckle* yeah this is all true. Deal with it. When it comes whether we have had bigger and better please don't ask. You are only going to have your feelings hurt big time. As per Streetz it really is a stupid.

  6. "Woman are not angels in the bedroom, and weren’t angels before you met them".

    ^Troof!

    But then I've also heard many women say they can't exactly let their freak flag fly during the initial stages of a relationship. [so as not to intimidate or scare a partner]

    Must be the Scorpio in me because prudish types are a definite turn off, but I do hear this alot. So, SBLs which is it?? :0?

    1. LOL, true for me. Can't give you all the goods and let you see all the skills at one time…you gotta graduate to that, LOL

  7. *Women have s*x with a guy with no intentions of anything deeper.* – I think a lot of dudes cannot fathom that a woman wants nothing more than s*x from him. It usually plagues him for his entire time with this woman, or even if she moves on after the first time.

    *Women makes mistakes, lie, cheat, and do everything that men do. And they don't have ANY more valid reasons than men do.* – Women have swindled men into thinking they are morally superior, there's just no evidence to suggest this. How many episodes of Maury end like this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGtWssdauME Moreover, men have to deal with the reality that it wasn't some deep reason that "drove" her to cheat. People do what they want to do. She cheated on you because she wanted to.

    That is my favorite Maury clip of all time. I'm going to watch it a few times today.

    1. You made my morning with that clip Dr. J! Dude was moon walking, pop locking & everything…too funny!

      For real, some of the most lying people in the world you will find on Maury…if the lie detector test don't get 'em…the paternity results will..LOL!

    2. MAN, Maury effed my head up last summer… made DNA tests standard for me… (Thanks Maury)

      As the great NC-17 says

      "Don't Be Ratchet"

      This post is a must read for men living in a fantasy about women…

  8. Yes women do pass gas and have bowel movements

    Yes. Yes they do. If a man is crazy enough to think otherwise, I'd advise him to speak to someone who is a janitor.

    Woman have had bigger and better than you

    Bigger? Perhaps. Better? Impossible. In the words of the DOC, no one can do it better!

    Woman are not angels in the bedroom, and weren’t angels before you met them

    I'd think that is obvious, but apparently many guys never considered the notion that a woman got down before she met him. Just be glad you don't have to teach them!

    Women talk about the shyt men talk about, but are more XXX than PG

    One of the reasons why is because women are far more descriptive than men. I wish I wasn't privy to a conversation two of my female friends had about a previous liaison. She was so descriptive I thought I was there in the room.

    1. "One of the reasons why is because women are far more descriptive than men."

      Yep! We have to give every.sordid.detail down to the most minute, insignificant (in the big picture) detail because it just my be relevant, LOL.

      Also, my friends and I have had conversations where we couldn't even "look" at each other (figuratively speaking).

      *hangs head in shame*

  9. I still NEVER heard my momma fart. EVER. I'm being so serious right now. It's a running joke in our family on some "when do you fart mommy?" There was one time when I walked into her room and she was sleep, and swear she farted. But that don't count…b/c you can't control it then.

    Annnnnyyyywhoooo….with that said (re-reads) I can be pretty damn gross. I blame it on my brother. Don't get me wrong, I'm not rude or uncouth…but I find great entertainment in gross topics.

    Streetz was on point with this post…if you guys only knew half the sh*t women talked about. Or the inside jokes we have.

    1. me too Lala. I always say "I dont' gross out easily" lololol

      great post, Streetz. *thinking back to remember if I've had any gross/xxx convos with you*

    1. Yes, I read your blog…

      However you all can have it much quicker and with less effort than us and that is all that matters to most men. We have to hunt, pander and campaign. You all can hold out a net and a fish would jump in.

      1. I feel the same way about men and the ease in which they get into relationships.

        We can have sex "easier" but men can have meaningful relationships with more "ease".

        It's about what you want. Having random sex is unappealing to me. By my count, men stay winning.

    2. What’s the #1 truth men cannot handle?

      CANADIAN Women cannot have sex any time they want to.

      ^Fixed.

      The Non-Obsidian.

  10. One thing a lot of dudes have to realize at some point is that women are just as bad as men and just because they are women doesn't mean they are wonderful people. I have lots of lady friends and if you give them ample enough time they tell you stuff…scandalous stuff…

    Don't get me started on the ones with boyfriends…I feel sorry for some of these dudes out here.

  11. Re: XXX talk, yeah its true but that's just because a lot of women are "need to know" people who pays attention to details so when it's time to "exchange ideas" full disclosure is a requirement (or shut up and take notes)

    …I too like to think I'm the sole inspiration of my lovers dynamic stroke game but we all know "cheat sheets" don't compensate for great teachers. He has been down this road before so why wouldn't I? We're the same, be safe and do you.

  12. I think the biggest truth men have trouble handling, as far as women are concerned are our own emotions regarding them. We pretend we're in love when we're not, and we pretend we're not in love when we are.

    The worst thing I ever did to a woman was convince myself I loved her when deep down inside of me (in places we don't like to talk about at parties #SeeWhatIDidThere) I knew I didn't really love her. I pretended I did, and led her to believe I did because I was young and the sexual chemistry between us was amazing. I wish I had a better reason to give but I don't.

    I couldn't handle the truth that, not only did I not love her, I didn't even really like her that much. The sex was great and I wasn't trying to give it up. I couldn't handle the truth. There – I said it!

    1. So valid.

      The biggest lie men tell themselves, IMO, is "she knows the deal". And pretend that they aren't hurting her because he told her that he didn't want a relationship 4 months ago, yet they're cuddled up every other night, doing bf/gf things, and in constant communication. #YouKnowThatGirlLovesYouHomie

  13. Good list, all true and no men cannot handle any of it. When I get comfortable and start revealing the real me around a guy, he looks at me like I have 2 heads…and even has a little fear in his eyes. Many men claim to want a woman who is real, so embrace the fact that yes I have gang bang fantasies and I save all my day gas for when I get home…it smells like roses anyway.

    My additions:

    * 3 out of 10 women don't orgasm during intercourse so chances are she's faking it.

    * We daydream about other men from time to time

    * We don't like your mother

    * The same way you notice our friends are hot is the same way we notice your brother is alittle cuter than you.

    * We don't like your semen, it stinks, and please don't rub it in our chest. Sometimes I wish I had a D for a day so I could go around making men suck it then skeet on their chest so they know how it feels. Blowjobs are hard work.

    Sorry to whoever I offended. 🙂

    1. I like where your heads at and I'mma let you finish, but I gotta #nosign this point:

      "We don’t like your semen, it stinks, and please don’t rub it in our chest … Blowjobs are hard work."

      Although, I wouldn't be opposed to this at all:

      "Sometimes I wish I had a D for a day so I could go around making men suck it then skeet in their mouths on their chest …"

      1. "I like where your heads at and I’mma let you finish, but I gotta #nosign this point:

        “We don’t like your semen, it stinks, and please don’t rub it in our chest … Blowjobs are hard work.”"

        And this is why I love Starita.

        1. 😉

          It's personal preference, I'm sure some men are funky, but my Him tasted like peach sugar iced tea on a 120 degree day… 🙂

    2. You better take that chest skeet.

      And as if muff diving isn't hard work either…especially since "ya'll don't orgasm" and shyt.

    3. It was best said to me this way,

      me: How do you explain wanting a dude to cum on your face?

      her who is currently engaged: It's not like you WANT a dude to cum on your face, it's more like you HAVE to let a dude come on your face.

      I could tell her head was in the game.

      Oh and there's stuff your man can eat to make his semen more bearable. Pickles and coffee ain't it. (On the low, it's kind of sexy when you tell him what he's been eating lately.) BUT SmartFox, if you really want to turn him on, share it with your girl. That's the best!

      1. O_O lol I didn't say I don't take it to the face, back, chest, hair, etc…I just said I don't like it. I'm still a team player and do my part to save lives. I know he can eat things but I don't care if he eats pineapple 24/7, it still tastes like my taste buds are dying. Oh and share him? I have my Ph.D in sex but that's where I draw the line…somebody will have to die. 🙂

        1. "O_O lol I didn’t say I don’t take it to the face, back, chest, hair, etc…I just said I don’t like it. I’m still a team player and do my part to save lives. I know he can eat things but I don’t care if he eats pineapple 24/7, it still tastes like my taste buds are dying. Oh and share him? I have my Ph.D in sex but that’s where I draw the line…somebody will have to die." – SmartFoxGirl

          !!!

          *funkflex explosions and sirens*

          !!!

          It's interesting where women draw the line at though, especially depending on the stage in their life. That line be moving like the ice caps.

  14. What about the issue of "settling"? Someone mentioned in another blog [can't remember since I just started reading 3 more this week] that men don't really have to settle for a woman, but the opposite is almost always true for women.

    If someone told me she "settled" for me because the No.1 draft pick was off the table I think it'd hurt pretty bad….

    1. which is why we'd never tell you

      Good point. Almost every person has a "one that got away" I've found…it's tragic. You just gotta be ok with she/he chose you and trust that that decision was made with their whole heart and all the facts. Usually the great white buffalo was more a fantasy than a reality anyway. It's not settling if the fantasy was never a real possibility-how can you compete with a dream?

    2. Yep, men usually fall short in some major (but manageable) way for women. Most women have to settle; it's just how it is.

  15. * 3 out of 10 women don’t orgasm during intercourse so chances are she’s faking it.

    So…I got mine lol

    * We daydream about other men from time to time I hope you didn't think I was having "personal time" using a picture of you.

    * We don’t like your mother. So…we're even. I don't like yours

    * The same way you notice our friends are hot is the same way we notice your brother is alittle cuter than you. Don't think I didn't peep mom's backside. She's fine so there is a good chance you will be. That's why I'm with you.

    * We don’t like your semen, it stinks, and please don’t rub it in our chest. Sometimes I wish I had a D for a day so I could go around making men suck it then skeet on their chest so they know how it feels. Blowjobs are hard work. You don't have to like it. If it stinks I need to eat differently. I don't rub it in your chest, YOU DO. Playing with it with your fingers and what not. If you had a D for a day you wouldn't want to give it back. It's THAT awesome.

    🙂

    1. "* 3 out of 10 women don’t orgasm during intercourse so chances are she’s faking it.

      So…I got mine lol"

      Wonders what would the world be like if women (ones having no problem cum'n) decided that getting theirs was enough?

    2. I believe you. Peens look awesome and men seem to have more fun with theirs. I'm totally jealous. lolol However our orgasms are way more intense than a man's so I'll stick with what I got.

      1. Yours might be more intense but i'll keep poppin em off until i go numb!! And I don't think enough can be said of slapping the dong across the forehead of a big talker/flaky broad.

        1. LOL, you didn't just get in a multiple orgasm debate with a woman, did you? I can heave 3 back to back to back…I'm yet to meet a man that can cum three times in a minute…no matter how hard I try to make him, lol.

          Stick to "I get mines every time" You got most of us there…

          Most, if I hear one peep about that "mines"….to the moon son, to the MOON! #ColloquialismsFTW

        2. Yes! Starita ripped the words right outta my head (like she does with all her comments) Um, pahtna…I don't know who told you wrong but I can triple ripple and knock myself out with 10+ orgasms in a 15 min span…til I'm swollen. This is why women love masturbation more than men do. Penetration is great, don't get me wrong but if I'm gettin mine in a hurry, I'll knock it out the park faster than you can. I know that's over-sharing but I had to stomp out this myth.

  16. lmao, ay, the first time my wife (girlfriend at the time) asked me to get ontop of her and "f**k her face" (as she put it) I asked her where she got the idea from. She said she "had a dream" that I did that to her and wanted to live the dream out. Side eye wasn't 'een the word for the face I gave her……..but I did it though.
    I've always assumed anything a woman does well to you she's been trained by another male to do (no shots to women if they learned their tricks on their own, but most don't)

      1. and then he would've done it

        P*rn and fantasies are real things ya'll…there are lots of things that I'd like to do that I've never done…that no man taught me…

    1. She dreamt it huh.?.?. 😉

      I think the reason you were shocked at her request was not due to the request itself but the way she asked "I want you to smash my Face" e-blush

      If that doesn't sound like some porn0 flick type Lingo then I don't know what does.

      Another Truth Men Seem to be in Denial About:

      Women watch porn0 flicks, SOME more than OTHERS and WE LOVE IT.

        1. She dreamt it huh.?.?. 😉

          I think the reason you were shocked at her request was not due to the request itself but the way she asked “I want you to smash my face” e-blush

          If that doesn’t sound like some smut flick type Lingo then I don’t know what does.

          Another Truth Men Seem to be in Denial About:

          Women watch smut, SOME more than OTHERS and WE LOVE IT.

  17. Speaking of handling the truth… I have an issue…

    One of my favorite sites is HomeGrownFreaks (I'm sure I'm not the only one) #don'tjudgeme

    Love the black love on this site BTW…

    And I think about the young women on this site 15 years from now, when they want to become a mother & a wife…

    And one fo the husband's friends "finds" a secret video of your wife in gangbang getting a Super Bukkake when she was 19…

    ish like that is reason why I demand a woman's sexual history… at least if I like you enough despite your past… I don't like those kind of surprises…

    1. And when we are talking marriage BTW…

      Being that intimacy is a big part of relationships…

      I think one should know about their S/O sexual history…

      1. #TeamHonesty

        No luck involved, just wits & testicular fortitude…

        For whatever reason, I inspire honesty in others Sometimes unsolicited … I welcome it… It is just easier to deal with…

        1. I'm sure you're good but this topic has been discussed many times over on blogs, women will not tell you their truthful number if it exceeds 10…and they sure as hell won't tell you they used to upload sex videos. They're not going to tell you where they learned all their nasty tricks. Just accept the fact that there's been one before you. lol I'm team honesty too btw lol

        2. Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.

          Buddha

          The only people that get ish by me are well season con artists… #MostWomenAren'tMostGuysAreJustDense

          The way bi-sexual Trey Songz gets panties to drop on the most prudish woman

          That's how I go about getting the truth…

          Maybe that eliminates some women in the running for my companionship… intimacy means that I have to know all the important stuff…

  18. See you can't be tell the guys we talk nasty. The ladies have sweet lips that don't speak anything like men do.

    The whole keeping track of evers put every single person has ever slept with seems like a mood crusher. No matter how large or small the number is either sometimes pride is going to be hurt or their feelings. And there is no need to do discuss this

    I thought we already had a deal to not ask your partner if you're the best or the biggestonce again you are setting yourself up for failure and hurt, don't do it

    1. The whole keeping track of evers put every single person has ever slept with seems like a mood crusher. No matter how large or small the number is either sometimes pride is going to be hurt or their feelings. And there is no need to do discuss this

      Well… if you are trying to protect feelings then yeah…

      I feel in the name of a high quality MATURE long-term relationship, I just have to know…

      And again… so when someone from the past shows up (or a tape…), there is less explaining to do…

      1. You sound like you're assuming she has never had sex if you are surprised by someone from her past speaking to her. I'm sue that person won't just be like "'Member when we had that gang bang with you and your home girl" in anywhere USA #wheretheydothatat

        Exception:

        Now if you have filmed any sexual encounter with anyone you have to disclose due to these types of thing leaking and getting into the wrong hand

        But for me there's just no way someone can go back and count when they never counted or stopped along the way to me it's just not practical.

        1. You sound like you’re assuming she has never had sex if you are surprised by someone from her past speaking to her. I’m sue that person won’t just be like “‘Member when we had that gang bang with you and your home girl” in anywhere USA #wheretheydothatat

          In The BRONX ROFLMFAO

          They say if you want to film a outrageous hard to believe movie… and for it to have any credence… shoot it in Vegas or in New Orleans…

          I guess I am just anal about the women I call "wifey"

          and when I started to watch HGFs… I realize alot of these women around the nation… someone sooner or later is going to be wifing that sweet Ratchie wonderful heart of a person….

  19. To Sarita's comment:

    I don't understand people with those type of regrets. I mean when I think about some girls from my past I think "I wonder what it would have been like?" I don't consider any of them as being the "one that got away."

    Also don't understand the wanting to c*m on your girl / wifes face. Once before I told yall I attribute this to the current generation being the first one raised on internet pr0n. Things that are s*xually extreme seem normal to them.

    But anyway….I have no desire to c*m on my girl. Just seems a little disrespectful to me. I have a long list of rough, nasty ish I will do….but I'm OK with leaving that one to Roxy and Sky Black.

  20. Usually the great white buffalo was more a fantasy than a reality anyway. It’s not settling if the fantasy was never a real possibility-how can you compete with a dream?

    ____________________________

    I don't understand people with those type of regrets. I mean when I think about some girls from my past I think "I wonder what it would have been like?" I don't consider any of them as being the "one that got away."

    Also don't understand the wanting to buss on your girl / wifes face. Once before I told yall I attribute this to the current generation being the first one raised on internet [email protected] Things that are sexually extreme seem normal to them.

    But anyway….I have no desire to buss on my girl. Just seems a little disrespectful to me. I have a long list of rough, nasty ish I will do….but I'm OK with leaving that one to Roxy and Sky Black.

  21. Usually the great white buffalo was more a fantasy than a reality anyway. It’s not settling if the fantasy was never a real possibility-how can you compete with a dream?

    ____________________________

    I don’t understand people with those type of regrets. I mean when I think about some girls from my past I think “I wonder what it would have been like?” I don’t consider any of them as being the “one that got away.”

    Also don’t understand the wanting to buss on your girl / wifes face. Once before I told yall I attribute this to the current generation being the first one raised on internet [email protected] Things that are sexually extreme seem normal to them.

    But anyway….I have no desire to buss on my girl. Just seems a little disrespectful to me. I have a long list of rough, nasty ish I will do….but I’m OK with leaving that one to Roxy and Sky Black.

  22. That was nothing I didn't know. My older sister and her friends talking is worse than a 2 $hort/2 Live Crew 4 disc box set. I will say, however, I had to learn about #3 the hard way. I had an ex that I crossed paths with further down the line. Now I remember, vividly I might add, what she could and could not do and the extent of her skills in certain areas. When it got poppin, things started to happen that I had never felt before. I was elated at first! And then reality set in….she didn't have these skills when we were together…..

  23. OK you freaks, lol

    Yall nigras got comments in moderation bec ur using bad words

    c*m p*rn s*ex etc. Filter your comments so the site doesn't have to (its automatic btw)

  24. Yo, Streetz… Not only CAN I handle the truth in this blog, but I've been knowing about such…FOR YEARS… I only socialize with women, and I have gained some knowledge…

    Anyway…

    Yes women do pass gas and have bowel movements

    OF COURSE!!! Flatulence and bowel movements are…(dramatic pause) BIOLOGICAL FUNCTIONS!!! Women aren't androids… They're just people with coochies… I consider it a compliment when a woman farts around me and uses the bathroom… To me, it means she's VERY comfortable around me doing such…

    Woman have had bigger and better than you

    All Imma say on this is any woman who tells me OPPOSITE of this I will, in the back of my mind, be considered a liar… Unless the chick is singing Heather Headley's "In My Mind"…ten years after she and I met…

    Woman are not angels in the bedroom, and weren’t angels before you met them

    Any man who believes the opposite of this fell off the truck and hit his head… I don't want a woman to be OTHERWISE than "…not angels in the bedroom…"

    Women talk about the shyt men talk about, but are more XXX than PG

    I've BEEN saying that "women talk about the shyt men talk about…" for YEARS… And, like I had commented in another blog, "…the idea that women don't think with their little head is as ludicrous as the idea that men don't think with their big head…"

  25. I agree totally that women have more xxx rated talks then men do! It's funny to me how men seem to forget that we like s*x just as much as they do…lol

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