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Girls Are Not Your Friend

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I don’t want to be friends with any woman. If I am your friend it’s because A) I screwed up somewhere along the line or B) we’re related. I’m not talking about work associates or we have a class together buddy. I’m talking friend. My homie has nearly 80 bbm contacts 70 something are cute chicks. He ain’t busting any of them. What the hell is the point? I know a dude who has a gang of bad chicks he rolls with, he’s not gay… but he may as well be because he’s not busting any of them! If you’re a pretty girl why would I want you as my friend if I’m not going to experience the pleasure of showing your pretty face to one of my boys and saying “I ran through shorty”. If you’re unattractive or average at best why would I be your friend? If I have to go out to the movies and be embarrassed that I have to make you keep  your 3D glasses on well after Tron’s gone off, then I may as well be getting the nookie!

I’m an honest person; there is no front in me at all, each day I get older the more I don’t care enough to BS. That tired excuse of “I hang with her to get girls” guess what, that’ll get you one and done, because unless she’s a Mighty Morphing Power Ratchet she’s not going to let you run through every friend she has. You may get one, but that’s it. I can get one, why would I have to fake a friendship to do something I can do on my own? Dudes say that because they are embarrassed that they fell into the friend zone. Homie, you’re not using her to get to her besties—you fell into the friend zone. Now you have to save face so you BS me about the reason you’re bff’s with a broad.

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One of my best friends is a girl, yeah yeah yeah; I just read what I wrote too. She’s sexy, funny, smart, and doesn’t give an F about anything but shoes and money. A) I screwed up somewhere along the line. I screwed up so bad that she even had to nerve to ask me why I never tried to have sex with her, then rubbed it in my face saying she would have gave it to me easily. But she’s my friend. And it’s to the point where I can’t even think of her in that way. What fun is that?

Come get me. I go pick her up.

Let’s go eat. I pay.

I hate men. I listen.

I’m broke. I give her money.

My male friends ask for is a few dollars in-between paychecks, and I make them pay it back, she’ll burn me and say “you got money” and all I can do is call her a four letter word that begins with a C. At the same time she buys me better birthday and Christmas gifts than anyone and has supported and motivated me since the day I met her.  When I proclaimed that Black Girls Are Easy she said “yeah we are” how can I not love that? This girl is like my girlfriend. I have to be there for her, I can’t say I’m playing UFC, I don’t feel like talking about your date. I can’t tell her to catch the bus in the rain like I would my boys, because she’s my girl… but she’s not my girl! I’m not getting anything from her but love and affection above the waist. She puts her head on my shoulder or cuddles with me, I feel like a chump because people are looking at us in public like “awww”. No—I’m a lame, I’m not beating this at all!

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I want to tell this to every man in America– stay away from platonic relationships. Getting a text saying “Thanks yo, I love you” makes me smile, then I look over to my fiancé and show her and she says, “You’re so gay for her”. Don’t be Gay for these H**s, be a better man than me. If you fail to hit—erase her number.

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Comment(72)

  1. Oh Boy, NC-17, you a fool for this one… That is why I f*cks with you…
    I believe in the women who come out and comment on this blog that they will play nice (or not…)

    I have been the Simp-A*s Captain Save-A-H*e wonderful friend to a few women in my short lifetime… one girl I always got her to be unfaithful to the dude she was dating, but never worked out…
    The other chick I got no more than a kiss on the cheek… (This Is Gonna Be Ugly)

    I remember in my senior year of high school (2005-2006) which was a tumultuous winter for me, but around this time, January 2006 I asked a really dazzling looking Piscean girl (with chronic LSE) that had a emotionally abusive boyfriend to be my valentine (I believe it was 1-(17 or 19)- 2006, one of those dates)

    She gave me a politician response to the question "Yea Adonis, you can buy me something"… (That before Obama swagged out the White House)

    So my creative Piscean brain with no money at the time (but I was in love & wanting to impress this girl SO much) I said to myself, I will buy her a gift for every period of the day (that amounted to 8 gifts)

    Lo & Behold, $350 later (which I don't remember how I got it with NO job) I got her

    – Gifts from The Hershey Store (Chocolate card saying "I Love You" &
    – Chocolate Chip Heart Cookie)
    – Yankee Candle (Pink)
    – Victoria's Secret Bag With Miscellaneous Toiletries (The Bag was pink, her favorite color…)
    A Heart Shaped Gold Ring
    A Green Tweety Shirt (Tweety Was Her Favorite)
    A Custom Made Shirt With Her Picture Airbrushed Saying "Haitian Princess" (Haitian Women Changed My Life For The Better)
    A Pink Soccer Ball With A Pink Nike Bag (She was on the Soccer Team & I came out to see them lose on a few occasions)

    Wow, I actually remembered all the gifts…

    So here is how it played out…

    I got all the gifts only to find out HER SCHEDULE changed (She had 8 periods of class but it went down to 4 periods because she was an up-to-date Senior that passed most of her classes)

    So now I had to double up (like the Great R. Kelly)

    I hid them in lockers throughout the school (I bought cheap .99 store locks that had different locks in different packages but the same keys)

    And gave them to her one period at a time… (she was enthralled, & appreciative) & I got a standing ovation from my fellow classmates (in Advanced English class)

    But only a kiss on the cheek… (NEVER AGAIN…)

    Did I tell you her boyfriend got her NOTHING… not even a card (And he got to beat, my blood is boiling)

    Now, although my opinion will evolve on this subject… I'm with NC-17… Unless she is unf*ckable… I don't see the point in having friends who are women…

    When are you gonna let me beat…? No…? God bless whoever f*cking you at night… *chucks up the Deuces* (NC, I know I was supposed to keep that in 2010, but I am a Chris Brown aficionado)…

    Keep Writing My Brother…

    1. typical Pisces…doing too much…
      *as a fellow Piscean, i've been there…lmao*

      *throws up the Piscean hand signs*

        1. I need to find one AGAIN, LOL.
          Pisces are generally very romantic AND stay doing too much…but I had a good one. Le sigh….

    2. Oh sh*t. You certainly are a Pisces. Wow you surely did get played, but she ain't ask for all that! Like a HS yearbook message, "Don't change fo kno body!" Make sure your actual girlfriend gets all this and more.

      1. You'll be surprised how far Good D & Smooth Tongue Will Get You…

        I give gifts, Actions Of Romance, Declaration of Love for my own gratification…

        Just like men of the past ruin it for the next dude that is trying to holla…

        Dr. J & NC-17 stands better chance of getting some bread up out me than Rosa Acosta & any other Summer Bunnie or chick from World Star Candy…

        1. See now don’t be like that. Pisces are notorious for showering all there romanticism on the wrong people. Then they eventually smarten up and leave jaded. Don’t do that, when the RIGHT person comes along make sure. You make them feel special too.

        2. See now don't be like that. Pisces are notorious for showering all there romanticism on the wrong people. Then they eventually smarten up and leave jaded. Don't do that, when the RIGHT person comes along make sure. You make them feel special too.

        3. "I give gifts, Actions Of Romance, Declaration of Love for my own gratification…" Don't Change Who You Are!!!

          Just pace yourself when it comes to simpin in the future that is all — wait until the chick shows you that she's in THIS for you and not what you buy for her.

        4. Did this girl just say PACE your simpin'… I need further mature male opinion before I carry out that one… I just think I can get away with more with less

          My point is this… If I didn't get anysatisfaction out of being a romantic, I wouldn't do it… There is alot a women out here who detest romance…

        5. " There is alot a women out here who detest romance…"

          o__o Is that rite?!??

          I don't know what woman would detest someone romancing them, UNLESS they aren't interested in that particular man, and even then (times are hard– this recession is NOT OVA) she would still let him woo her a little bit.

  2. Thank you. I've been saying forever that men and women can't be "just friends". You just proved it.

    It's just not in our DNA to find a single, attractive, confident person of the opp. sex and only want to "talk". It's not natural. That's what our "girls"/"boys" are for.

    If you don't want to at least kiss her/him at some point you are either family, gay or under some special circumstance where you've either already been there with that person and failed, or are not aloud to even be thinking that way about them (as in you or them is in a relationship – and even then…).

    nice post.

    ***also, girls, you should just know better than to think even for a second that a guy will not look at you and think about hitting it. I mean seriously…

    1. "***also, girls, you should just know better than to think even for a second that a guy will not look at you and think about hitting it. I mean seriously…"

      Exactly.

      1. Don't know, SFG… I've had two female friends who have looked at me with "hitting it" eyes… (wink) But, I KNEW better…

  3. You stay the hell away from my BFF or I'll cut you. Just saying. Don't give him no ideas…

    But then again, I'm more so one of the guys, so I may be the exception in this particular instance.

    1. Bwahahaha I was thinking the same thing! Praise God he is getting married this year he and his fiance are fighting over whose side I'll be standing on. That is my dude..

  4. HaaHaaaaaa! This is totally all my guy friends. And most of my friends are guys. I love it! I stumbled upon your blog the other day and haven't left yet. I can't even be offended at your posts because your underlying message always ends in some form of truth I agree with. Great Job Homie !

    SN: its hard sending comments through my cell with this new comment section.

  5. While I agree with your rant about being salty for the one that got away. Please make sure you edit your post. You are a writer so please take time and effort to make sure that your musings are error free. This is not The National Enquirer.

  6. I respect your honesty in this comment, cuz you damn sure playe dthe fool for old girl. Chalk it up to life experience my dude.

  7. Yes, I have had a male friend for over 15 yrs. We are platonic. He is married. We would hang out, go to the movies, do things together before he got married. I haven't seen him in years..but, we still talk on the phone, facebook, email…I know his wife, she knows me….all respect to her. I think, he may have wanted to smash back in the day but no can do. I am not attracted to him but he is a great guy. Now, he is my only male friend to date….I am not trying to enlist any new friendships with men…I think they can be a headache if the guy isn't mature enough to deal with the fact that he is not going to smash…my friendship has endured thru the years…I don't think many men are able to deal with friendships with women in general…there are exceptions but for the most part…it doesn't work out well.

    1. I am always open to enlist any new friendships with women… BUT, I think fmmale friends can be a headache if any of such women isn't mature enough to NOT juice a man…

      1. I didn't juice nobody. Whenever we did go out it was dutch. He never spent a cent on me…all I wanted from him was his friendship and some of his time.

        1. LOL… Didn't say that YOU did… My point was to "fair up" your point… Just like male friends can be a headache if they aren't mature enough to not abuse the friendship, so female friends can be a headache if THEY aren't mature enough to NOT abuse the friendship. in other words, my point is that immaturity in abusing a male-female friendship CAN go BOTH ways…

  8. I like this post! It makes sense…most of my guy friends are ex boyfriends, but I have one guy friend that I'm very close to and we'll talk shit to each other about hooking up but nothing ever happens…he's not gay and he's attractive! We really click. Our sense of humor is exactly the same so we spend most of our time together cracking up at stupid stuff the other person says or we crack on each other.

    I don't know why nothing has ever happened because I know we find each other attractive. I think at this point we've come to the conclusion that anything past friends is never gonna happen.

  9. I dont think there can be a friendship between men and women without some type of pre-existing attraction. it all depends on how you approach it and self control. I do believe men and women can be just friends, but there may come a point where boundaries get smudged and someone MIGHT line step, most of the time if you're both single and sometimes when one is boobood up.

    I think the "you cant have opposite sex friends is a cop out for not being able to control yourself, or not WANTING to control yourself. I think that the scenarios above are the reasons why people become platonic friends at times (missed opportunities etc), that doesnt diminish the friendship, same way that people who are antagonists in high school may end up good friends of yours as you get older!

    Good Post though!

    1. True but even if you control yourself, why would you want your partner to be friends with someone they have or are having "thoughts" about? The mind and body are the same to me. You may not physically cross the line but if you're thinking about it, that's a problem. What if we argue, how do I know you won't go running to her? (Not you but you get my point lol) Plus like you said, most of the time it's an ex or pre-existing something. You'll never know if they had that one drunk night in Vegas type thing.

      1. what Im saying is, sometimes friendships being as such. I like to hang out with attractive women. Thats just me. If they happen to end up being good friends so be it. I know that I have control that I wouldnt try anything.

        Besides, whether they are friends associates or randoms, the "1 Night in Vegas" thing can happen with any man/woman!

      2. I definitely agree with you SmartFoxGirl …
        it does not make sense for your partner to be friends with someone they once had "thoughts" about.

    2. it is definitely about SELF CONTROL and integrity (to some extent)…
      integrity because if you respect yourself and your partner (if you're in a relationship) you will have the moral compass to not stray or over step your line… in other words if you're in the friend zone or have a platonic relationship with someone of the opposite sex, it is respectful to keep it at that.

  10. LOL this post is so dysfunctional, I love it. lol If the person is attractive and nice enough for you to call them a friend…there's no WAY you can be just friends. That's what makes a perfect partner: someone you're attracted to who's also your friend so what would stop you from crossing the line? Yeah they may have qualities that stopped you from putting a title on it but that doesn't mean you won't atleast have s.ex with them. It's a recipe for danger. I agree. If you wanna be eff buddies, great. Just don't drag a person through the "I want you but can't have you" friendship. It gets messy in the end.

    And I would never let my SO have a "best" friend of the opposite s.ex; especially women. I have never had a male friend who hasn't tried something with me…never. And that girl who's known your man longer than you is a threat, period….she doesn't have to be cute either. You may get married but she's sitting at your wedding smiling at your groom with tears. lol Don't do it.

    1. Yep. This right here!

      I agree they don't have to be cute either. I know a married lady and her husband not only invited a chick to their after wedding dinner, but she has went on vacations with them.

      I was like girl…didn't you watch Why did I get married…

      Some chicks don't care if they are second place. I feel sick even thinking about a b*tch being brazen enough to come out to dinner with my husband and I. I would have caught a charge myself, but hey, that's me. Two counts of attempted….well you get my point…lol.

      People are so trifling…ugghhhhh!

      1. Yes girl, someone would have to die. lol This is how things get messy and I'm not with the sloppy sh*t. Many take others for granted and get way too confident. AND a man doesn't have to be attracted to a woman to sleep with her.

        icant.

  11. I don't think that men and women can JUST be friends. There is this one guy I have known over 10+ years that checks in on me every so often (I keep the same cell #). However, his checking in is more like, why you with that dude and not me (although he is married). He stays commenting on my relationships when I just simply want to vent to him. I was never attracted to him enough to want to be with him (plus he is a womanizer). He has always known were things stood between us yet he used to go all out and I would let him because I liked being spoiled.

    As I stated before I don’t have males friends because I don’t see most guys being able to be objective.

    He is a cool guy and he was there for me when I knew no one in DC, so I will always be grateful to him for that reason alone. I just wish he would focus more on his third wife instead of me.

    1. We stay co-signing on er'thang so Imma go ahead and cosign AGAIN. lol Like I said upthread…I aint neva had a male friend not try something with me. single, married, straight and even gay. lol Seriously I had a gay male friend who would always try kissing on me everytime he got drunk he got way too affectionate. People get comfortable with each other and if too much time is spent, they'll start to look at you differently. It's primal. There are some exceptions but not enough for this to not be a valid fear.

    2. ok so yall seem to be worried about your man cheating…..but he can cheat with a random woman he sees at happy hour or a cowrker or a stripper at a bachelor party or whatever.
      The main thing needed for men and women to be able to be platonic friends is a high level of maturity and 2 people who aren't horndogs wanting to smash every half way decent looking person of the opposite sex.
      A guy friend of mine end up being best friends with a woman he went out with a few times. They both liked each other but she developed cancer and he couldn't handle being in a relationship with a cancer patient and she didn't want him to deal with her sickness so they chose to be strickly platonic friends and had a wonderful friendship.
      Some of my guy friends are guys who don't live in the same state as I do. Since neither one of us wants long distance relationships we remain friends.
      I feel like nothing is wrong with having good people in your life who are there for you and love you and support you, whether they are male or female.

  12. mwahaha this is funny.

    I would tend to agree but I do have a guy friend… probably my best friend in the entire world who I'm simply platonic with and always have been. We know each others good and bad sides (we've been friends since diapers) and have never wanted to take it there.

  13. i have friends of the opposite sex that i'm friends with. strictly platonic from day one. have female friends whom i'm not attracted to at all but they are good people and of course i have plenty of female friends that i'm attracted to but i would never take it there because i know that after s*x things would just get weird.

    one thing i would never fall for is trying to get at a woman, get turned down and then be placed into the friend zone. if i decided to go this route and i get rejected then we aren't going to be friends. for what? there's no point at this junction. might as well kick, push.

  14. I think men view platonic friendships with the opposite sex different than women do. Two of my best friends are male and I have never EVER thought about wanting more with either one of them. They are like brothers to me.

    1. I AGREE, MEN & WOMEN VIEW FRIENDSHIPS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX TOTALLY DIFFERENT CUZ ALTHOUGH U MIGHT SEE THEM AS BROTHERS, THEY MIGHT BE WAITING FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO FURTHER THE RELATIONSHIP. EITHER THAT, OR THEY FEEL THAT THEY ALREADY MISSED THAT OPPORTUNITY & WILL SETTLE FOR THE FRIENDSHIP.

  15. Good post. Here's my thing. I'm not one of those guys who thinks men and women CAN'T be friends. I'm one of those who don't understand WHY men and women should JUST be friends. I have a few female friends that I'm real cool with but 90% of them were women I use to have s*x with and we eventually transitioned into a friendship after they tried to make me commit and that didnt work out. They cussed me out didnt talk to me for a few days or months but then realized at least I was honest and so now we're cool again.

    On the other side, are a few women – like all the women I approach – that I was trying to bed A) I screwed up somewhere along the line and now we're friends. Like you said, I don't know what went wrong and I regret it. But I look like the a-hole if I'm like "hey, I was actually trying to get in your jeans but since I have failed in that endevour perhaps we should go our separate ways." ….it sucks. Now I'm stuck with a female friend. smh @ life

    I like women but I'm 28. I have enough friends. I'm not trying to make NEW friends. Quite frankly, female just friends are annoying. There, I said it.

    All that jibba jabba about some guy doing them wrong or not doing them right and then when I give them advice, do they listen? HELL NAH! They get emotional, call me up ranting and crying while I'm watching the game. Can I hang up? Tell'm to STFU and "man up" like I would my boys? NO! Cuz they female. I gotta pause the TV and say stuff like "uh huh" and "whaat?" and "girl you deserve better than that" AS IF I CARE! And the saddest part is I'm not even getting the pay off of buns for putting up with this non-sense? LAAAAWD!

    At least if I hit before like some of my friends I have that to calm my mind. So yeah, I can be friends with female – BUT I DONT WANT TO. I've reached my quota on that. I'm tryna hit it not kick it. Let me wrap this up with something I told one of my "female friends" once…

    "There are two types of females at this point in my life. Those I'm trying to hit and those I'm trying to wife – and I'm only going to wife one female. So if I'm not trying to put a ring on it, guess what I'm trying to do?"

    AINT NO MENTION OF FRIENDSHIP IN THAT MISSION STATEMENT ANYWHERE!

    – FIN –

  16. This post reminds me too much of my chance to hump the plump bootied Italian girl in freshman year. I had a chance and told her I didn't want to ruin things with her. Fast forward years later, she's married, still looks the same…I still wish I had a chance to crack dat…especially since she's married to a Dan Snyder look a like.

  17. mann…i stay screwing up. lol…i've done this (or unreasonable facsimiles) too many times. you would think that the best girl friend/wife would be a girl..that you're attracted to..that's actually a friend…but noooooo. People can be so logically illogically that it's not e'en funny…lol. Like Adonis, I blame my naivette on being a Pisces.

    now a days, i just stick to myself. i have enough female friends…and my style just leads to more. *stays in the corner by the bar watching the action*

  18. Can't agree with this one. Ive made female friends and still have a number of them. It all depends in your intentions early on.

    And be real. Thats your girl. Whether or not yall want to admit it.

  19. Good post. Had me rolling…

    I'm friends with a few women because I want to be their friend. I dare say there's a difference between friend as in girlfriend verses girl who you are attracted to and is a friend. AND every women who's your friend might not be girlfriend material. Not saying their inherently non-smashable, just there's more to relationships than being friends and sex… Why? because it takes more than that to actually get there. There's physical and intellectual attraction then there's romance.

    Now if we're talking and JUST smashing… Then I feel you. You lost… MAYBE. I don't understand the idea of a person being physically attractive and then knowing the person and being more attractive intellectually to the point where the idea of being physical with them becomes unattractive. Unless they don't look so good anymore… Maybe THAT'S the case (not for you, but for her). But I think there's always a chance to smash unless they're involved with someone else. You have the one up on every nobody out there.

    Romance is the factor that makes the difference. Also, the "friend" aspect of a girlfriend has different facets than someone as a platonic friend. Yes, there's some over lap. I know everyone has friends that suck a relationships. Just Smashing though? There's some I'll straight tear. it. up.

    You know what I just realized, it's true that a woman will make a guy she likes wait FOREVER until the "time is right." While letting to douche smash at the drop of a hat. You know sometimes women be having mad reserves. Got you as the ultimate backup plan and ish… unless they're out having families, if they'll attracted to you AND you mesh, then you always have a chance. In case of emergency, break glass.

  20. I'm happily married for going on 5 years, I like to think I'm an attractive, well-liked guy and my best friend on the face of this earth (aside from my wife of course) is an attractive female. We've been best friends since high school and despite the fact that we're both pretty awesome, neither of us have ever been attracted to one another.

    At my wedding I had 7 groomsmen and 1 groomswomen. She stood on my side and wore the same dress as the bridesmaids, accept it was black to match the guys' tuxedo's instead of pink.

    We hang out, talk to one another and do all the normal things best friends do for the most part. There are some rules that I try to stick to, the biggest of which being that I do not complain about unsettled issues in my marriage to my best friend, but, for the most part, our relationship is the same as it's always been. My wife has never had an issue with my best friend because my best friend was a big part of my life when my wife and I started dating. Had that been a deal breaker for her, we wouldn't have made it past the second or third date.

    So all that to say, men and women can be platonic.

    Also, NC17, it's always great to roll with a crew of bad chicks that you're not sleeping with. I encourage every aspiring cocksmen to do so. Bad chicks beget more bad chicks. If you're chilling in the club with 2 or 3 bad ones who are laughing and hanging off your every word because you guys have been platonically cool for a long while, other chicks will notice you in a way they wouldn't have before. If you smash your friends, just because they're attractive, it'll be a good time, and you'll be proud of yourself. But, it'll amount to 1 smash. If you don't smash, but instead, but her on the traveling team, you'll probably get like 5 or 6 new smashes off of the purely platonic attention she showers you with.

    1. When Interesting Is In The Mix, I have to throw ONE monkey wrench in this here…

      MATURE men & women can be friends…

      I don't see myself as a MATURE male… so I don't like to represent that perspective…

      And your last paragraph represents Pre-Selection (something that most women will not admit to) that men in the company of beautiful women (or just women really) are infinitely more attractive in relation to the men or are not in the company of BW…

      Yeah it blows my mind how underused this tactic is with men… especially if you are shy

  21. This always makes me laugh. If you don't think you can be friends with the opposite sex, then live your life that way.. but to think that it applies to everyone else is remarkably narrow minded.

    Two of my good friends are guys, I've known them for nearly 20 & 25 years respectively. Nothing has ever happened, and I don't think it reflects poorly on any of us. I've always enjoyed the conversation and relaxed atmosphere when hanging out with guys, I've learned to appreciate the male perspective from them (even when I disagree). It's very different from spending time with my girls, but their equally valuable.

    Personally, I find it a bit disturbing when I hear someone say they can't be friends with the opposite sex because it makes me wonder how then do you then relate to or respect the one you want to wife/husband, if your only experience has been smash-only or I-don't-really-wanna-be-here-because-there-is-no-smashing. It speaks volumes about views on women/men in general.

    Understanding the concept of boundaries and having the ability to apply and maintain them makes it much more straight forward.

    1. You're right. There are exceptions to every rule. I do have some male friends who I've known since childhood. They are like cousins to me, they know my family, etc. so yes I can see how some situations would be different. However I can tell you that when I got into a serious relationship, our bonds changed. We couldn't hang out until 4am anymore or be at his house late, etc. It was out of respect to my man. We talked less, etc. We were still friends but from a distance.

      Plus I think about the fact that you can't predict the future. I've seen people cheat on their spouses 15 years into their marriage so they already had that "trust", etc. I don't like to play with temptation like that. Everyone is different though but you never know. What you describe is more of a platonic thing. What I see other's describing are situations where there is a sketchy past and hidden feelings. Being that your SO would never know, it's best to have some sort of understanding or rules.

    2. "…because it makes me wonder how then do you then relate to or respect the one you want to wife/husband…"

      Personally, I have seen what happens between supposed friends of the opposite sex. It is not that you can't be friends but that there may always be one side of that equation with hidden feelings and that will cause all kinds of issues. I have tried, honestly, but even with boundaries, things become skewed after a while. I am sure this depends on the amount of time spent with or talking to this person. Sure, I have many male acquaintances, but not actual buddies I can call and say let's hang out, etc.

      I understand that most men think like the author of this post. That is reality and I have learn to not put myself in tempting situations. All it may take is a bottle of Rain and some tears and wham…your friend is getting it in on the couch.

      I watch Jerry and Maury and it’s always the supposed friends (cousins, brothers, mama, neighbors, etc.) that hit when you were at work.

      1. That's what I mean though, platonic friendship is quite possible.

        I talk to them, but I keep it appropriate because a drunken me wailing about the injustices of the world just isn't cool. That's not my style at all, nor would I expect them to put up with that mess. When I'm in a relationship, do we still hang out.. absolutely. I'm not going to drop multi-decade friends for a dude that may or may not work out.. but I do mention it, so that he can decide whether that's cool or not for him. By the same token, I also don't bitch about my relationships to them, because that wouldn't be fair to my man.

        It's not complicated if you keep things straight.. though that seems to be a lost art.

  22. Yeah, my best friend is a female. I tell her everything and we can do pretty much everything together. I never even once wanted to sleep with her. I actually have a lot of female friends though. I don’t know what it is about me, but I have self-control. And it ain’t failed me yet. I am Barry Bonds.

    I do realize that the amount of female friends I have leads men to hate on me like Jesus. They are just like, “Who is this wack n*gga?” That’s cool, i’m the wack negro with all the pretty women. And we having a sleepover later… n*gga.

  23. How about being friends with a guy who you both know is not in your league? As in, he might be attracted to you but knows he has no chance, not ever, not even in the deepest drunken state this girl could ever achieve? And he has never tried anything either because both of you know it could never happen.

    And, while many of you guys say you wouldn't be caught dead with an unattractive girl, at least for me it isn't a big deal. He's my friend, I don't care what he looks like. Just like I'm friends with attractive and unattractive women, I'm also friends with attractive and unattractive men. Some of the attractive ones I've looked at, and said "nope, he's too much of a womanizer/too shy/too something or not enough" and that's that. My boyfriend doesn't have an issue with this luckily, I mean, I spend some of my holidays with my guy friends. Now, if he wanted to do the same with his female friends, I could probably accept it. Probably. But he doesn't have any female friends so I guess I'm just being hypocritical here.

  24. Hilarious, but I don't agree. I have a few female friends and it hasn't added any complexity to my life other than having to give advice on a wide range of scenarios. And honestly, I wouldn't thump most of them despite their attractiveness. Yeah, I know. I said most.

  25. Yeah, my best friend is a female. I tell her everything and we can do pretty much everything together. I never even once wanted to sleep with her. I actually have a lot of female friends though. I don't know what it is about me, but I have self-control. And it ain't failed me yet. I am Barry Bonds.

    I do realize that the amount of female friends I have leads men to hate on me like Jesus. They are just like, "Who is this wack n*gga?" That's cool, i'm the wack negro with all the pretty women. And we having a sleepover later… n*gga.

  26. EFF ALL THAT!!! I'm the best "girl-friend" EVER!!!! LOL sorry yall I have nothing of substance to contribute to this post. Though to me it reads full of jest I'm sure there are countless men (and women) who feel this way. Good post.

  27. Girls are actually more complicated than men. Live training is the fastest, most effective way to effortlessly develop the dating skills necessary to attract the women you want.

  28. Now when i have this same argument with the guys that I work with, they say i am wrong…. SMH. As much as I have men friends, usually at a distance, because I know he really does not want to be a friend, Hitting it is usually in the forefront of his mind. But at least they keep it real…lol.

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