In one of the many battle of the sexes over on black Twitter a significant number of women were discussing income requirements for the types of men they would date. Eventually, the number $100,000 was settled upon. Basically the premise was that any man that didn’t make at least $100,000 would be automatically disqualified. Naturally, this was not well received by the broke men of the Twitterverse.
I don’t know the backgrounds of the women who were making these demands. They could have all been college educated gainfully employed women themselves or they could have been a bunch of broke high school dropouts permanently stationed in the hood. Either way, the argument put forth by the women was that this is the same as men only talking to women who have a large circumference round about their hind and chest parts. I didn’t participate in this conversation but it was interesting for a few reasons.
We all have standards. I try not to judge other people’s standards because it’s their standards and unless it’s someone I’m trying to get with, I could care less. Sometimes even if it is someone I’m trying to get with I could care less because for every woman that won’t there are two women that will. I don’t get caught up in trying to prove to someone why I’m worthy of them. I assume that people don’t ask more of another than they expect of themselves, even if this is not always the case, BUT with that said…
Let’s be honest with ourselves. If you have an income requirement, that is superficial. This isn’t good or bad, I’ve admitted to being superficial numerous times here and abroad. However, while saying “He has to make $100,000 to get with this” sounds cute, I’m not sure people fully recognize the ramifications of some of their own standards. Specifically, according to the Census Bureau only 21% of American HOUSEHOLDS make over $100,000. Also – and I hate to point this out – but that number is going to be skewed towards Caucasians and Asians, not African Americans, which is closer to 10%. This is HOUSEHOLDS, which means the Census counts all income earners or everyone under the roof of a house over 16. In other words, at minimum your $100k standard has already disqualified 80% of Americans. It’s actually closer to 90-95% for individuals but who is counting.
Another interesting point, is that African American women are graduating at higher rates than African American men. From high school, college, AND graduate programs. Thus, if you buy into the argument that increased education equates to increases in income then this would imply that black women will, over a period of time, begin to make more money than black men – not to say such a change isn’t or hasn’t already occurred. Given the standards put forth above, I wonder if these women will stop dating these men because of their lack of income and education? Education was not brought up in the part of the discussion I witnessed.
I have to disagree with the assertion that using income as a determinant of whom women will date is the same as men using physical appearance. I am a man, however, so maybe I’m biased. Unlike income, T&A for the most part occurs naturally. You can grow into it or go to the gym to get/maintain it. You can even buy it. Whereas income is not wholly related to any one criteria. In fact, a lot of times getting rich in America is a matter of ‘luck.’ You may say education, but there are plenty of broke educated people and plenty of rich dumb people. So simply because you graduate from Harvard doesn’t mean you’ll make $100,000 a year or more. Your chances are greatly improved from the person who graduated from community college but not if the community college graduate starts up a successful business.
Gentlemen, would you be upset if you knew a woman was or was not dating you solely because of your income or worth? Is this the same for women as it is for men that exclude women based on physical appearances? Ladies, do you exclude men based on their education and/or income? Why or why not? For both the men and the women, how important of a role does money play when you are choosing a mate? Would you prefer, if possible, that the man make more money than the woman in your relationships or does it matter?
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