Home Featured Angry Birds: An analysis of the term, “Bird”

Angry Birds: An analysis of the term, “Bird”

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"Did you notice that your girlfriend is a bird?"

Bird (noun):
–             a person, especially one having some peculiarity
–             a girl or young woman
–             synonym: ratchet

This has nothing to do with this, but only because this was so funny, here are the idioms:
–             a little bird, a secret source of information
–             bird in the hand, a thing possessed in fact as opposed to a thing about which one speculates
–             birds of a feather, people with interests, opinions, or backgrounds in common
–             eat like a bird, to eat sparingly
–             for the birds, useless or worthless; not to be taken seriously
–             kill two birds with one stone, to achieve two aims with a single effort
–             the birds and the bees, basic information about sex and reproduction

I found myself in a conversation about people like Amber Rose and the fact that she does not know she is a bird.  Real talk, I don’t think she does, but that’s okay because most men will never tell a bird who does not know she is a bird that she is in fact a bird, if they want to beat.  And I guess, this is one of those things where I am like most men.  Actually the conversation was about men who say things like, “I wouldn’t wife down Rosa Acosta”, urban models, never getting married, treating your girlfriend like an NBA contract, Joe Budden and wifey material vs. birds.  Leading me to this quote:



“There’s two types of birds; inexcusable and explainable.”

In case you’re wondering what exactly a bird is, it’s essentially the antonym of wifey material. And here’s the determining factor; there is a chick who is pretty and is totally wifey material, but she makes you do stuff.  Birds don’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.  Men always prefer the path of least resistance.  That’s the difference!  The whole thing is about how much effort you’re willing to put into it.  Do I want to take you on a date?  Or am I going to go with the young jawn that lets me text at 3AM?  Funny thing about 3AM texts is that you can do that with wifey, but she will say no and then the next day she’ll say, “Did you really try and send me a booty call?” [Yet another question that she really doesn’t want to know the answer to.]

See Also:  10 Things Women Find Unattractive About Men but Won't Tell Them

So why were we breaking down the birds huh…?  Well, because Amber Rose is a bird, but nobody would be mad at you for wifing that down.

Let’s look at the Two Types of Birds:

Inexcusable

Every campus has a girl with the nickname, Superhead and every city has a chick that just about everybody has ran through.  Those women who have legendary trizzes on their resume, or those chicks who no woman on the block respects and every dude has a story with are inexcusable.  You just can’t be sitting there one day and say, “Yeah, so me and Biscuit been chilling hard, I’m thinking about settling down.” Once Biscuit has the holy trinity of a CARFAX it’s inexcusable.

The Holy Trinity of CARFAX reports is when people lie on you about your hoe activity and it’s believable, when people tell the truth about your hoe activity and it’s believable, and when people find out that even what’s on the low is still hoe activity and it’s believable.

If there’s almost an immediate #DrJBlankStare, you can’t do it.  Now this is not to say the girl is a bad person, it just means it won’t work.  Don’t come up in the crib talking about, “But Jay, tell me, how do you know for a fact all that went down?”

o_O

See Also:  Your Man is Gay, Now What?

Explainable

There are plenty of men who will date birds, as long as they can explain why they’re with them.  I have been saying for weeks now, how did Wiz Khalifa find out about Amber Rose?  The only relevance she has ever had was being Kanye’s girlfriend … and then she was making out with just about every chick in the club she could find.  So how does Wiz Khalifa propose to her?  Because he can explain it.  He can explain to the hood that: Amber is beautiful and has a banging body and although Amber has a reputation for being a bird, there’s not a lot of proof to it.  Real talk, you only know one dude that she’s been with.  This of course is contingent on her keeping her mouth shut.

Today, I’m admitting to you that men date birds, and I’m telling you why.  It doesn’t make an ounce of sense, it just ends up happening all the time.  We understand that all birds are not the same feather.  You have vultures who constantly take from you, and you have doves who always want to give.  The inexcusable bird will never see the light of day in her situations, she’ll never get married.  (Unless, she moves across the country, meets somebody who is not in her network, doesn’t even understand the dynamics of her network, or is a straight loser and falls so in love with her tutelage that he just never seeks the truth.)  The explainable bird will be the one who proves this statement;

See Also:  Hip Hop Is for Lovers: Reflections on Being Kanye West’s “Perfect B*tch”

“They say you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife, well I know plenty of married hoes.” – @DrJayJack

My question is: What exactly is a bird to you?

 

 

 

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Comment(190)

  1. "The Holy Trinity of CARFAX reports is when people lie on you about your hoe activity and it’s believable, when people tell the truth about your hoe activity and it’s believable"

    Ahhhhh! Im dead at 12:45am…I didnt know there were so many urban meanings of bird. Glad I dont fit into either of these categories. The whole birds of the same feather flock together issue..yeaaaaaaaa Ive unfortunately had to cut off some good friends because their behavior was pretty ratchet. I kinda still feel bad cause sometimes people are good people inside, they just have a lot of issues that make them behave as "birds" or whatnot. At somepoint you can only hope that they resolve those issues or just heal…..and stop engaging in inexcusable behavior…..

    Do you think those women who behave in questionable behavior in undergrad (lets say she smashed a couple bruhs on a couple of lines) can redeem herself if she realizes the error of her behavior and does a complete 180…without moving away…should women ALWAYS be judged for their past behavior?

    1. Do you think those women who behave in questionable behavior in undergrad (lets say she smashed a couple bruhs on a couple of lines) can redeem herself if she realizes the error of her behavior and does a complete 180…without moving away…should women ALWAYS be judged for their past behavior?

      I think this is the question of the day for me, I would love the heavy hitters of this blog & the premier commenters to put their two cents into this question…

      Now, at this very second of my existence… Most women who have an EPIC whore-monal past will NOT get a Long-Term Commitment from me… Simply because

      – I do NOT want to run into all the men she smashed & be reminded that the girl I love has been sampled by half the college campus… I consider myself pretty mature & and withstand ALOT of criticism… But I am overmatched in this scenario…

      – When it comes to being a Super Sayian whore,

      IT IS NOT ABOUT HAVING S.EX, sex in itself is fantastic,

      it is what is driving her to have that much of s.ex, and so indiscriminately with so many different guys/girls… Most people would agree, that, that is not normal behavior for the typical female raised under the ideal circumstances (IMHO),

      And usually a woman like that is SO internally destructive that she is like Medusa with a p.ussy…

      IMHO, for women like that to get a second shot <DEL> she needs to accept Jesus Christ as her personal savior, JK </DEL>, society need to re-evaluate s.exuality as a whole, especially on the men's POV in reference to women… And really, it is all about men being mature about female s.exuality… And all of its wonder & magnificence

      There is no reason for me to deal with a woman like that, unless all of the women of the world were like that…

      I hope I articulated that well…

      P.S. I will not judge a woman on her past behavior, as long as I have nothing to DO with her…

    2. I cannot stress this enough to women, life is cumulative. It is not a semester to semester operation similar to what happens in college. So yes, offenses committed in college will follow you for life. The excuse, "it's college" is a weak one. Of course if you can suppress the evidence and destroy it as well, you may be able to get away with it. But no man, especially a Black Greek man is going to change his opinion of you after you let him know "I smashed a couple bruhs on a couple lines." 1) It's confusing, 2) I don't want to ask, 3) People in chapters are far more closer than people will ever realize or comprehend.

    3. It's a complex problem because as a reputable dude you probabaly have issue with folks snickering every time you go in public with the chick. If she keeps her dirt down then its not so much of an issue. If she's known, you gotta say NO MA'AM.

      1. I cosign this statement.

        It all depends on discretion and HOW out there she was. You never want to be that dude walking with your girl while dudes she know snickers, knowing that she was doing dirt and you wifed it.

        This goes for men too. Ladies you def have a right to judge but ultimately you have to make that decision feel me?

        If you were known as a jump on a campus, I can more than likely find out the extent. If its egregious, I can't do it. If its like normal college stuff than ok.

        1. But unlike women, you men aren't judged on the fact that you've probably slept with many girls. Its expected for a man to be cavalier in his youth. Its almost welcomed, especially from fathers. Its promoted at a young age for a boy to sow his wild oats and for a girl to be docile and chase. Women are judged on their femininity from birth, and if she decides to sleep with a certain number of men then that femininity is in question because her behavior is more male than it is female. In this society it will never be ok for a woman to be as experienced as a man. She can never be as open to trying different things without having a label. I guess like everything else its something that we have to live with right???

        2. I know most people wouldn't agree, but for me the same goes with men. If I know you've been messing with every girl on campus, I'm not going to give you the time of day. If I know you got intimate with the dirtiest slut I know, you've become a dirty slut. I don't want no diseases. And besides, how do you ever know they're serious? Maybe they're just after you cause you don't give it up easy, maybe they just want to prove that they can get anyone they want. I don't want to be a trophy, so I steer away from men who sleep with anyone.

        3. I agree with you Vee. I wouldn't be able to take him serious either and if I did he would have to work twice as hard to make me believe that he changed his ways.  

    4. <blockquote cite="comment-294476">

      QueenBinthestreets…: Do you think those women who behave in questionable behavior in undergrad (lets say she smashed a couple bruhs on a couple of lines) can redeem herself if she realizes the error of her behavior and does a complete 180…without moving away…should women ALWAYS be judged for their past behavior?

      Depends on the man and your location. If you come from a small town or a big city with a small town mentality, which is the case in most black cities because we "hang together" in the same social circles, you are not going to escape your past. Point. Blank. Period.

      You might find a guy who overlooks it and charges it to the game, doesnt mean he's blind to it. You've also got the man who just doesnt know. In his case, ignorance is bliss. To answer your question, "should women ALWAYS be judged for their past behavior?" Clearly, the answer should be no. But are they? …yes.

      1. I dig your answer, but would like to add my perspective. I'm from the tiniest of tiny towns and we're quite liberal in comparison to the rest of the world in this instance…simply because the dating pool is so small, of course you "smashed a homie", you dated that homie for years, but that didn't work out, so the fact that you slept with someone I know had no impact on if I can date you. Now if you're a h0, you're a h0 whereever you go…but sleeping with a friend? So!

    5. In my opinion, a person will always be judged by their past. That's life. I think some women need to get out of this dream world they've put themselves in. I don't indulge on my every fantasy because I don't want it to impact my future or change me as a person. Like I said below, it boils down to discretion. With that said, if a woman sleeps around in college does that make her a bird, absolutely not. There's a big difference between falling in and out of love 8 times in college than letting 8 guys in college hit for no reason. And like Dr. J said, that college excuse or I was young excuse gets weak after a while. As far as her future goes, yes she can change. Anyone can change. I know plenty of women who slept around back in the day but are good women today. Any man who fails to acknowledge your obvious current worth because of your past is immature. Just don't pretend to change or disguise yourself as something you're not.

      1. I really don't think the cracking of cheeks determines the "goodness" of a woman. There are plenty of 'good' women that have a spotty past AND present. It's more an issue of preception and image. Dudes being able to describe in detail the going ons of my bedroom are a no go.

    6. Do you think those women who behave in questionable behavior in undergrad (lets say she smashed a couple bruhs on a couple of lines) can redeem herself if she realizes the error of her behavior and does a complete 180…without moving away…should women ALWAYS be judged for their past behavior?

      It's like I said in a previous comment once. It's about the effort it takes for me to come across or deduce that about her past. I won't wife (or even f*ck knowingly) a lady that has ran through my crew, but also I don't need the illusion that she hasn't been around. I assume every woman I've been with have acted or will act on slore tendencies. I think it happens once (some for longer durations than others) for every woman. I much rather her have been a slore already (read: got it out her system… a while ago) than in her later years when I'm trying to have a life with her. Without going through that phase, questions of "what if" would run wild in her head. There's nothing worse than a wife/mother turned slore.

      What's worse, the lady that got real loose during undergrad or the lady that waited until she was much older and with your children smashed your crew, the pool boy, and the neighbors? Yeah… that's what I thought.

      Will you always be judged based on your past? Of course. What else does a person has to go on? Oh you mean sexual past. Yes, if I know your sexual past, then you'll be judged (maybe). If I know your driving history, you'll be judged. If I know your criminal history, you'll be judged. This doesn't only apply to sex and this doesn't only apply to women.

  2. I'm tempted to pop some popcorn. This has some potential to light the comments section up. I have a overwhelming suspicion the Dr. J held back on this post. I'm not Goku, #imjustsayin

  3. Sorry but I don’t understand this differentiation between “wifey material” and a bird….To me that clear distinction is extinct.

    There is a bird who knows she is one (intentional) and one who does not (unintentional). One who does know is one who moves from man to man coz that is what she is about. She does not really care as long as she gets what she wants. She has no intent of reforming either. She is the complete hoe package and is proud to be one..

    Then is the one who does not know (unintentional). She is genuinely a good girl looking for love but always falls for the wrong guy for whatever reason. This woman does not set out to sleep with 5 men before she finds the one..Anyways, soon her head count has reached a 12 in short space of time..no one really knows her story for a fact but what is known is she aint no virgin.. She is willing to change because that is not who she wants to be..With a lot or some work (depending on the men she has been with and the reason), she eventually changes and does reform.

    A bird is a bird…However, the only time a bird can be explainable is if she is REFORMED!!!.. by this I mean she knows that she was one and has REALLY REFORMED. The man who marries her also has to REALLY LOVE HER where ever she falls in the scale!!! To me an explainable bird is one who becomes one unintentionally but is willing to change and does completely..

    Amber is not an explainable bird (Actually this was a bad example to use IMO)..she is only explainable to a weak man..They may be no proof but she just looks and acts like one…What man would not want to throw a dollar note at her just off her looks?. An explainable bird has to “explainable” all the way which includes the whole package otherwise she falls back into the inexcusable category.. That phrase “They say you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife, well I know plenty of married hoes". My question would be would be is she inexcusable or explainable because I believe 99% of women fall in either category!!! There is no such thing as ” wifey material” because unless she is a virgin or has been with one man, she is a bird! I guess a man just has to measure how much up the scale he can take and is willing to work for..

    1. HMMM…

      This sounds like a cry for undertanding and redemption.

      Its ok sugah, God loves all his creatures, even the birds.

      .

    2. "There is no such thing as ” wifey material” because unless she is a virgin or has been with one man, she is a bird! I guess a man just has to measure how much up the scale he can take and is willing to work for.."

      This is an interesting comment. So the only way to be considered wifey material is to be a virgin and have been with one man? What about the way a woman carries herself? What about the standards that she upholds? What about the way she treats her man? Do any of these things (along w/ a list of other reasons) not matter when determining whether or not one is a bird or wifey material? 

      1. No, let me put that into context..What I understood from the writer is that “wifey material” is the antonym of bird and this is based on her not having some sort of past..To me there is no such thing.. Everyone is a bird unless you have no past..You can be a bird that is “wifey material” but for you to fall into that category you have to be an explainable bird..One that is reformed meaning you have a past but have changed and also present some qualities like you have mentioned above..

        However this does not mean an excusable bird cannot get married..She can.. It all just depends where down the scale the man is willing to go…On the flipside, an explainable bird does not need to settle as well just because she has a past..

    3. I don't agree with much of anything you said here. And then you really went a proved it at the end when you said she has to be a virgin or only been with one man. It is how you carry yourself, not how many men you sleep with.

      I always advise people who read an article to be careful to not try and take what I said and then form a new argument with my terms. I presented what I was trying to say in the article. This unintentional vs. intentional theory you came up with is a totally different topic.

      1. Woweee…lol..i love a good debate…

        I think we are saying around the same thing..just different words..You just picked what you wanted from my argument and formed your own just now…

        ok lets put that aside…from what u have said now..

        An excusable bird— is one who has a past (the number is not a factor) and does not carry herself well..

        An explainable bird— one who has past (the number is not a factor) and carries herself well…

        Wifey material is what then???

        I am honestly trying to understand where u differentiate and why?

    4. "Then is the one who does not know (unintentional). She is genuinely a good girl looking for love but always falls for the wrong guy for whatever reason. This woman does not set out to sleep with 5 men before she finds the one..Anyways, soon her head count has reached a 12 in short space of time..no one really knows her story for a fact but what is known is she aint no virgin.. She is willing to change because that is not who she wants to be..With a lot or some work (depending on the men she has been with and the reason), she eventually changes and does reform."

      Hmmm… I feel what you're saying, but I'm not sure that J is referring to this type of woman as a "bird" in his original post, if I understand correctly.

      I think he's saying that the two types of birds are 1) the type that everybody knows is a "bird" because you and half the campus has slept with her and 2) the type that people suspect might be a bird and who sort of carries themselves like one but they have no concrete proof because she keeps her business to herself.

      Anyway, thats the way I understood it.

      Interesting comment though… it was very thought provoking for me…

      1. "I think he’s saying that the two types of birds are 1) the type that everybody knows is a “bird” because you and half the campus has slept with her and 2) the type that people suspect might be a bird and who sort of carries themselves like one but they have no concrete proof because she keeps her business to herself."

        I agree with this statement. That's how I understood it as well. .

    5. I don't follow. So we're all birds? The difference is some of us accept our h0edom while others are in denial? No comprende. I'm not a virgin but I AM wifey material and not because of the fact that I haven't slept around but because of who I am. Wifey material is not defined by # of partners. It's defined by personality and your brain (no pun intended) lol I wouldn't trust Amber Rose to babysitt a puppy let alone a child. That's why she's not wife material. Most women don't walk around the beach naked and flashing photographers. Like J said, "It is how you carry yourself, not how many men you sleep with."

  4. Can't remember which comedian said this [otherwise I'd just lie and say I did], but that's when you really know that you're famous. When you can…."copulate" with a random person and suddenly they become famous too. When you say "bird" in relation to AR, I always figured it said more about her character: ex-stripper, questionable fashion sense, not likely to be admitted into MENSA, ratchedy public behavior] than anything else. Sort of like someone who's famous for f*cking, but really adds nothing else relevant to society….you know kinda like a white Kardashian.

    And I don't see why Rosa Acosta gets thrown into the mix. To date, I haven't heard about her being anyone's jump off. And her stretching videos help millions of insomniacs like myself get to sleep at night. She's a national treasure….. :0P

    1. That was Chris Rock when he talked about Monica Lewinski sucking off Clinton and then becoming famous.

      And exactly, Amber Rose is not a bird because of who she's slept with but because of her character. Which is why a lot of people refer to Rosa as a bird. Personally, my point was that, a lot of dudes want to say they wouldn't wife her down, but they are liars. The argument is always, "well if you get to that point where she's an option you can probably pull women like that all the time," yeah … well about that, i've seen a lot of dudes start sleeping with a woman and although they can probably pull women just as good looking, they get caught up in the juice.

  5. I know and inexcusable bird that got married…Superhead…there are some men who will wife it up…Darius McCrary (aka Eddie Winslow) did..so LOVE can negate everything…

    II would even submit that Kim Kardashian is a bird…she is a wealthy bird but a bird nonetheless, she got famous off of a s*x tape but managed to flip it to her advantage..so, we can say she is a smart bird…

    Other than that, you hit the nail on the head..

    1. I sort of agree with you on the Kardashian comment. However, I hate that people think less of her because she had a sex tape. It was with her boyfriend of 3 years… she didn't get gang banged by three dudes on it. I don't see anything "birdish" about that… I just find it stupid. I wouldn't make one because you never know who's hands can get on that type of stuff… but thats just me.

      I find that her desperation to have a man makes her seem more birdish to me. If I was a celebrity with a reality show, I don't know if I'd be so forthcoming about showing all the relationships that I'm jumping in and out of. Plus… it seems like she goes on one date with a guy and all of a sudden, she starts talking about being in a "new relationship".

      She is a smart though… I don't know. I don't know if I would call her a bird. She's just a little birdish sometimes, I guess.

    2. I know and inexcusable bird that got married…Superhead…there are some men who will wife it up…Darius McCrary (aka Eddie Winslow) did..so LOVE can negate everything…

      ========================================

      i dont necessary think its "love" that negates everything..I think it has more to do with self esteem, what you think u are worth….and as the saying goes, u marry the level of your self esteem….u love what you think you are worth…

      1. Why does it have to be about marrying according to your level of self esteem though???

        I don't know… these conversations are always interesting to me because like people have said upthread, I've seen lots of "bird" become wives.

        Maybe the bird is a bird… but she probably has other good qualities too, and maybe someone happened to find value in those qualities.

        I mean guys always say that they don't want a hoe, but that always seems to be who they end up with. I know a girl that had the reputaton of being a bird and she STAYS having a boyfriend… I DON'T GET IT!!!!

        I'm just confused overall about the whole dating game…. I give up…lol.

        1. Well… I shouldn't say guys "ALWAYS" end up with hoes. but I've seen it happen alot…

        2. You know where we're at, you and I?

          >>>>>>here<<<<<<

          You and I, chillin with mojitos in our hands, soakin in the sun, being fanned with large palm leaves by Matthew McConaughey and Mehcad Brooks…that's where we're at.

          (For real though, for what it's worth, I enjoy your commentary immensely, even when I don't agree. You seem very open and thoughtful.) *throws compliment confetti*

        3. lol… thanks lady! 🙂 I always enjoy your comments as well…

          PERFECT choice on the men… by the way. 🙂

  6. See the really sad part here is that in many cases the birds are some of the coolest chicks you'll meet. If it weren't for that whole CARFAX problem she would actually be wifeable in some instances. I've had this convo with the crew on several occasions and its just some stuff you can't let slide. I would say as long as it's not public record that she going out the frame you MAY just be able to pull it off. You just might have to move to another city!

  7. One man's bird, is another man's queen.

    I never got this wifey material crap. Every woman, well just about every woman, has the ability…as-is…to become a man's wife. Which man is the question. Are some women more prone to that destiny, probably, but I've met dozens of women who were married who I wouldn't even seriously date, let alone marry. I've messed with jumpoffs and dudes married them a year later.

    Lmao @ wifey. Either you're a wife or you aren't. If you are monogamously dating a woman and the two of you are sexually involved, then there should be no reason you can't text her for any reason, unless it's out of respect since you know she probably has to go to work or something. Since when can't you have a booty call with someone that you're always with, regardless if you're having sex or not anyway?

    1. The reason why people don't explain wifey material is because they don't want to hurt people's feelings, but in gist, i'll address this really quick.

      1) Wifey material is almost like trying to describe what "it" is. A man will say the reason why he doesn't like her, or isn't attracted to her, or doesn't want to wife her down is because she doesn't have "it." Ask him to describe "it" and it's almost impossible to explain. There are similar things like this in our society.

      2) Every woman falls on a scale of preferrability. Rank all the women you know in terms of the ones you think will make perfect mates. It's not about all who qualify, it's about ranking all the available options. When you rank that list, the upper echelon of that list is wifey material. All of the women on that list have a chance at getting married, but those at the top of that list are wifey material. Now… women be careful, no one asked you to rank all the women you know. It's about how men rank women.

      2b) There are sometimes when your boy gets married and the whole crew says, "damn son." There are sometimes when you find out a chick is engaged or married and the whole crew says, "Word! Damn, man I missed out on that!" In the last month, I know three chicks who got married or engaged… of the three here were the reactions:

      (1) I mean, she basically just stayed with dude long enough that he decided to put a ring on it.

      (2) Yeah I saw that on Facebook, damn yo… she was tough. She always had a man though.

      (3) I HAD BEEN TELLING DUDES that she was available but no one wanted to step up, so this noodle just stepped in and now we sitting here staring at honeymoon pictures.

      Smarten up people, there's an obvious difference, you either don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or you just willing to wife/smash anything.

  8. I'm sitting here thinking of all the chicks from college (educated birds) that chugged enough protein to rival body builders that are now engaged or married. Assuming they were never cheaters and operated liberally (recklessly) during their "fun" single years, they do tend to make good significant others because of the pleasing attitude. I notice many of these chicks also cut ties with anybody that could link them to their wild days. Excusable birds are pretty damn smart.

    1. I tell you.. HO's win. They come up really nicely. They do all their #hoshit during their young years and now they make the best housewives as long as no one can tell their husbands how many guys in a frat house they let run through it.. I swear.. I need a time machine, go back in life and make some changes.

    2. "I notice many of these chicks also cut ties with anybody that could link them to their wild days."

      I bet if ALL women did this for the most part there wouldn't even be terms like "Bird/Hoe/Smeez/Smut, etc.)

      I swear I never understood for the life of me why some NOT all women find the need to CNN their Smutivities, yes I understand Women's Lib./Equality (DO YOU BOO) and such but aren't there certain rules/codes of conduct in the "Feather Weekly Digest"??? *Justsayin*

      Buffer Zones are extremly important as well as doing your due diligence to make sure that Dude4 and Dude13 don't interact or run in same social circles.

      I don't judge women for living her life as she sees fit but Decorum is upmost important here, and watch your bitter single no protein getting girlfriends because often times those are the ones putting your business on Front Street on the low (NoHempstead).

  9. Sorry folks. I dislike judgemental people.

    Hate to take shots….but when ever I see topics like this…the Black Greek influence on this sight becomes painfully obvious.

    OK….I'm goin back to my hidden bunker. LOL

    1. Black Greeks aren't the only ones that have these interactions with women. Athletes, musicians, and any other group that's perceived as "cool" could have a similar perspective. No need to go back in the bunker. No ones gonna throw grenades or shoot flaming arrows.

      1. Agreed.

        Let me also add that i think we are the most UNBIASED and UNIFLUENCED voice, regardless of our affiliations. Everyone affiliated with our writing team isn't greek. Everyone has had different experiences.

        If we are to ignore those experiences for the sake of creating a falsified outlook on topics, then I don't want any part of it.

        Let's be fair here people!

      2. Black Greeks definitely not the only ones.

        I don't want to paint all Black Greeks with the same brush. Not all frats, chapters, schools are created the same.

        But whenever I start seeing the labeling and judging and talk about discretion. I can't help but acknowlege that that type of talk and behavior seems to be accepted and promoted in those organizations. But it is something I and many others find off putting and inconsistent with christian values.

        Not trying to bash Greeks. My mom is member. But I think it's kinda sad if anyone is 30 plus and still playing "cool kids, jocks and cheerleaders."

        1. <blockquote cite="comment-294882">

          il Duce the Grand Nagus, Master of the Rules of Acquisition:

          But whenever I start seeing the labeling and judging and talk about discretion.I can’t help but acknowlege that that type of talk and behavior seems to be accepted and promoted in those organizations.But it is something I and many others find off putting and inconsistent with christian values.

          Not trying to bash Greeks.My mom is member.But I think it’s kinda sad if anyone is 30 plus and still playing “cool kids, jocks and cheerleaders.”

          The irony in this message is that you're doing the same amount of judging as you accuse "some" Black Greeks of doing.

          My mom is a member = "im not racist I have black friends"

          As far as the Christian values thing, the orgs are predicated on Christian beliefs, and yeah here might be some members that stray away from said beliefs by their actions. Is this not the same as the church since the history of its inception?

          See all things.

          I'm done on this because I don't want this post to go in a tangent, but you gotta be careful when you church up on comments.

          Let me go back to reading Angels and Demons

  10. *in Yoda voice*…Yes yes good post, this is. Birds fly, we do. Birds eat, we do. To be or not to be.

    Yeah yeah I can dig it.

    To me, a bird is a creature that flies, poops and sits on power lines.

    Anyway, I actually understand what you're saying about Amber Rose but to me, a bird isn't defined by how many men she's slept with and that's why Amber Rose is a perfect example. I know classy ladies who have slept with tons of men yet are happily married today. Then I know women who haven't necessarily slept around but are ratchet of all rachetness and can't find any man who wants to claim her. To me, a bird is a female who doesn't know how to act like a woman so you classify her as an animal…like you would a man being a dog. Being a woman comes with a certain level of responsibility which is why I keep my nastiness hidden. (Yeah you blog peeps don't know me) If you met me, you'd have no idea how trashy I really am. I keep that sh*t in my bedroom. I take pride in my appearance and behavior. S.ex doesn't define me so I don't behave with s.ex in mind. And THAT's what separates me from women like Amber Rose or the average woman to a typical h0e. Discretion. Birds have none. They let it all hang out for anyone to see, touch, and feel. There's no value to her because she doesn't value her body, self, etc. If she can't manage herself, how can you expect her to manage a marriage, kids, etc and be your life partner?

    Exactly.

    1. I wish we could like posts twice! I wasn't even gonna comment on this blog cuz the whole thing seemed like hogwash but ur post (and a couple others) nailed it!

  11. Interesting post J and comments.

    It's funny, until you pointed it out here I never really thought about how Amber has really only been linked to Kanye publicly before Whiz. The rest have been rumors. Now I have no doubt she gets it in because mama aint raise no fool but for what it's worth she has managed to keep it on the hush. Under your descriptions, I can see why she falls into the explainable.

    Superhead, the inexcusable, actually came up (again) on Twitter yesterday. See, people know TOO much of her history. Still, any dude that wouldnt access that as a reliable side chick is, in my opinion, an idiot. I would. Would I put a ring on it? Hell no. That's too embarrassing. Like most things, it's a matter of perspective. You're right – and you know from my various blogs on hos I agree – hos get married all the time.

    At the end of the day, I think people overwhelmingly UNDERestimate the conniving ability of hos. I didnt say intelligent because they might not be smart but they sure as hell know how to get what they want, whether it be sex, marriage or other.

    1. "At the end of the day, I think people overwhelmingly UNDERestimate the conniving ability of hos. I didnt say intelligent because they might not be smart but they sure as hell know how to get what they want, whether it be sex, marriage or other."

      I think I have to agree with this statement. I swear… seems like hoes stay getting married…

        1. Me thinking aloud: "Doesn't this make the man a complete idiot.. In my mind I would think that a man would want to be entertained outside of the bedroom?!?!"

          But I'm not married, and I ain't never did no #hoshit, and since doing #hoshit gets you married, I guess I might be wrong on that too.. so disregard that previous thought..

        2. <blockquote cite="comment-294784">

          Riley: In my mind I would think that a man would want to be entertained outside of the bedroom?!?!

          Just because a woman is a h0e that doesnt mean she doesnt have skills outside the bedroom. Up post I've seen men state that they really enjoy being with these type of women. It seems to boil down to "what would my friends think?"

        3. @Riley: Again, depends on the man. Some men are quite content only being entertained in the bedroom. If we want to keep it real, most men could care less about a woman's degrees, professional accomplishments and general ability to hold a conversation, which is why the "ho/bird/sexually savvant can sore to the forefront. I'm not saying it's right but….

          Anyway, this may be another conversation for another day…

  12. I'm glad you brought the message home at the end because while reading it I surely was thinking 'hoes become housewives EVERYDAY B!" good post. I agree with most of what's been said. not sure Amber's bird-dom hasn't been proven. but maybe its because I read gossip sites, she's been known as a philly stripper hoodrat for awhile… Kanye definitely elevated her and made her known though, which is why she was even accessible to Wiz in the first place. I'm sure HE wouldve never crossed paths with her and be interested enough to wife her, otherwise

    1. I was thinking the same thing too. Who says Amber hasn't slept around? lol She has about as much discretion as a crackhead. She has elevated herself though. I'm not mad at that. Anyone who can turn around their life gets a props from me.

      1. Which is another reason why anyone cannot hate on Kim.. She was exposed by a boyfriend and made video that they made (lazy one at that, cause she surly ain't put in any work, but that's another story) Kim took that and made it into a multi-million dollar empire that her whole family could live off of.. now if that not hustling after you've been exposed Iono what.. shoo it event lead to her sister getting married to a basketball star.. I tell you. ho's stay #winning

  13. Out from bunker…

    So forgiveness, compassion and love don't apply to a person's sexual history……I'm just sayin….it's pretty close to easter…and everyone swears they christian right?

    Back to my bunkier with momar. LOL

    1. I see what you're saying but I think you're getting defensive. Everyone gets judged. The same way you judge me is the same way I judge you. Wifeys judge the h0es and h0es judge the wifeys.

      We ALL judge.

      Some of us need to just get over that fact. It's not about being a good person. If a man/woman is trying to decide on whether you would make a good partner, it's going to be more than your love and compassion. Responsibility, discretion and trust are some other things that people look at. People who are reckless with their lives will lose the trust factor from the opposite s.ex. That's life.

        1. I don't understand why some people think they don't judge. If you evaluate your thoughts, you'll see you judge as well as everyone else. There's no portion of judging that's okay…it's all the same.

  14. I'll say this, if black men held themselves to the same standards that they hold black women, we could come up as a community…

    As for the bird thing, eh… I agree that what you do in college does not disappear. There are plenty of men I knew in undergrad who were the type to take advantage of a drunken or passed out coed(sexual assault anyone), and I don't talk to or even acknowledge on FB. Funny thing is, a lot of those men have male friends who would condemn the girl in the train 10yrs. post grad, but still support a man who got off on sexual assault, and probably committed a few assaults themselves. Says a lot about our community…

    And yes, I know that is a little off topic, but its the unfortunate truth. Its not about double standards, it about a lack of personal integrity, about being judgmental, and failing to look in the mirror at your own ish. Now, I agree with you when it comes to keeping your mouth closed, but at the end of the day, if some man wants to talk ish about you, hell, like about you, to other men, most men will believe it, not because they know it for themselves, but because men usually give other men the benefit of hte doubt. Which kinda messes things up when a woman does carry herself with respect. All it takes is one basic b*tchass ninja to damage her credit score. Kinda like when you paid something, but the company said they didn't get it(when you know they did), and sent it to collections, messing up your credit score? Then you call, and all they can say is "oops, my bad?" Yeah, that happens more often than not to women.

    I'm rambling… back to work.

    Interesting post, Doctor.

      1. Of course it won't happen. We live in a sexist, patriarchal society that thrives on using a woman's sexuality to keep her in a subordinate postion.

        My sister and I was talking about this this weekend. A young lasy we know was sexually assaulted at one fo the universities by a young man she was dating. Instead of questioning the young man, we are questioning her "virtue." Whether not she is a virgin, how many men has she been with on campus, does she go out on dates often, what was she wearing, where does she hang out, does she like "playing" with men. (his defense is that he thought she was playing). Sh*t is disgusting. And its disgusting how readily people accept this. Throughout the history of this country, girls and women have been in danger because of this lack of male sexual standards. And its worse in the communities of color. So, yeah, I agree it probably won't change because most people accept it as it is, notjust in society, but in their own personal lives.

        1. No Nia, that's feminist talk and it's nonsensical. It's gender roles. And let me break this down to you… people have been on this earth for thousands of years. And the feminist movement started less than 100 years ago. So this is all new thought. And before there was thought there was instinct. And so as crazy as it was to hear the older men in my family tell me that a man is expected to go out there and provide for his family and a woman is expected to bear children. It's the way we work as humans, natural selection plays a big role. For most of our time on Earth, women haven't been expected to be smart or anything like that, they are expected to bear children. And as men, even in nature you can see that a male animal will not sleep with a female who has been with another male because it's a matter of ensuring that the offspring is his. You see this in the biology of humans. I bet you didn't know this, when a woman has been with another man, unknowingly her original partner produces sometimes as much as a 100x more sperm. How crazy is that? The male is overcompensating to protect his chances. Put a pin in that. Now why do men like the things they like about women, their bodies, their beauty, their ability to be great mothers, or keep a great home. It all goes back to her ability to produce offspring. And why do women find themselves attracted to men. By and large it's for protection, and for the man's ability to provide. It's to ensure that her offspring are safe.

          Now you can break that down as much as you want and think that men was to keep women subordinate, but it's simply not true from a biological, anthropological, philosophical and sociological standpoint. That's just feminist lingo used to pad the coffers.

          Nothing that the women I sleep with will reduce my chance to impregnate and produce offspring. I'm not judged by my ability to bear children. A great argument can be made that as long as I can produce sperm, it doesn't matter what I do. However for a woman, if she is pregnant, she cannot bear another child, if she has to spend time fending for her infants or small children, she cannot bear another child, so that's why men are turned off by women who sleep around. It's just not good business for the seed. If we went to women for protection and for them to provide for us, we wouldn't give a damn, but that's just not the plight in life for men and women.

        2. Bullsh*t! And you know it! lmao.

          Seriously Doc, your biology argument does not address the core issue. You don't think Amber Rose is a bird because of biology. This is about culture, a puritanical culture that has placed an unfair, and sometimes dangerous standard on female sexuality. I don't deny anything you said in your comment, but your comment is a deflection, a decent one, but a deflection none the less away from the core issue in my comments.

          Answer me this. In 20 years when your 15yr. old daughter comes to you and tells you she received an uninvited inappropriate touch, are you going to explain to her that biology is what makes some people think that touch was well within that boys right, and as a woman, she has to accept it and expect it? And that when he called her a b*tch because she had the audacity to disaaprove of that touch, its just all a part of biology? I think you need more people, Doc…

        3. Your reply to my reply was explaining why men and women are judged by different standards in terms of who is a ho and who is not ho. Had nothing to do with being a bird. Being a bird is mainly a female trait, you would be hard stressed to find a male counterpart. Only other example I can think of would be the word, "c*nt". That's why it's the end all, be all of every argument, there's no comeback. I was addressing the other issue in your comment that related to the fact that men and women are judged differently.

          I still think you are trying to make this into something that it can't be. Amber Rose is charged with taking more responsibility for her reputation that you are giving her credit for.

          Your example, about my daughter … how in the hell would I say something like biology to my daughter about an unwanted advance? I'm going to send her brother over there to handle it. That has nothing to do with that.

          But to adjust your example, when my daughter has to deal with the fact that men won't respect her opinion because they say she's a girl, i'll explain the situation to her. But i'll also tell her how to overcome obstacles in life. You can't overcome an obstacle in life by explaining why the obstacle is there. You can only overcome and obstacle by removing it or conquering it.

          Remember that next time you break down "culture." It makes no sense to diagnose something without treatment.

        4. You have to diagnose an illness to be able to treat it. You can't properly treat an illness without knowing and understanding the root causes of it. All you can do is take some tussin, put on a bandaid, and hope it works out. It usually doesn't…

        5. This "It makes no sense to diagnose something without treatment," and this "You can’t properly treat an illness without knowing and understanding the root causes of it.' are the same to you? um… OK. Diagnosis comes first, not treatment. How can you even perceive to treat what you don't understand? Perhaps I didn't make myself clear… WTF are we talking about here? We're not on the same page, same book, but definitely not the same page.

          Anyway, I'll end it with this. I agree with your points about past and current actions. I tink it was Reecie who said it was about discretions and discernment. yeah, I agree. Granted, none of htat takes away from my argument about holding yourselves, as men, to higher standards, and thus doing better by everyone, other men, women, and children. But, I'll let it go since its starting to get circular, and the book is still being written…

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-294758">

      N.I.A. naturally: I’ll say this, if black men held themselves to the same standards that they hold black women, we could come up as a community…

      Maybe this should be "if black women held black men to the same standards that black men hold black women, we could come up as a community."

      We let them get away with so much! Yea they will dog that girl for having a train ran on her but we dont dog guys out enough for being a part of that train.

      Maybe if men had the same fear women have concerning illicit behavior (ie…hurts their chances with women) things would be different.

      1. Or maybe if we accepted people for who they are and not what they were.

        I'm trying to picture Jesus talking about discretion…..ROFL. But we all Christian right?

        1. I agree. Though, I think it still starts with the standards we have for ourselves and others around us. Men don't seem to have as high standards for themselves as do for women, and women don't have high standards for themselves, so we accept the standards men place on us as undeniable truth.

        2. Are you going to be a part of the conversation or not? I'm leaving you alone because you keep claiming you're going back to your bunker.

      2. I agree with this. And I'll add that if we as black women loved ourselves enough so that we were truly able to love men enough that we could hold men to higher standards, the whole world would be a better place.

    2. <blockquote cite="comment-294777">

      SmartFoxGirl: “I’ll say this, if black men held themselves to the same standards that they hold black women, we could come up as a community…”I can get with this N.I.A.

      Let me be the one to start this… *slow claps*

  15. I have to say I disagree with this whole notion that "Men can't be hoes". YES the hell they can! I know I am about to get hated on for this comment but whatever! You get no love from BP if:

    1. You think your "number" can be your age times 3.

    2. If you ever were in line for a train. NoAmtrak

    3. If you admit to smashing random women you didn't know DRUNK.

    4. You "shared" a girl with your boys, knowingly (see number 2).

    5. You think all the lascivious behavior you practiced in undergrad was ok.

    1. BP you are lying…

      Experienced Men will always be apple of women's eyes as a collective…

      I think women who say this, try to get back at men for being able to sleep with many women, and rise, while simultaneously not ACCEPTING the fact that WOMEN hold a special place in our society, and because she is in that SPECIAL place, she can't be the W.HORE that, that man is…

      Life is not fair… Let it go…

      1. How do you know she's lying? She's speaking for herself and what she wants…

        Experienced men will not always be the apple of women's eye. I bet if you ask most women if they are impressed by the fact that in the past, their man and his buddies ran a train on some girl, she most likely will be grossed out. Its not that we like it… it just is what it is.

        The difference is that in general, women are more willing to overlook a mans sexual past and they don't judge him today by what he did yesterday.

        Most men can't do the same for women…

        1. LOL… Let's do this…

          So, I don't believe you simply because I don't believe you are willing to stay SINGLE during your best years because a guy has a storied past… GTFOH, #YouNeedMorePeople…

          Women don't pass up great guys who THEY know for SURE who are great guys because he has at alot of nasty s.ex… (unless of course a GREAT guy at home already puttin' a hurtin on you already…)

          You just haven't found the right w.hore to manipulate you out of your panties… That is it!

  16. <blockquote cite="comment-294735">

    Therelucantsocialte:

    I mean guys always say that they don’t want a hoe, but that always seems to be who they end up with. I know a girl that had the reputaton of being a bird and she STAYS having a boyfriend… I DON’T GET IT!!!!

    !!!!!!!!!!! #truestory

  17. <blockquote cite="comment-294785">

    Kema: Maybe this should be “if black women held black men to the same standards that black men hold black women, we could come up as a community

    I can get with this…

    Women are just too willing to overlook certain things, I guess…

      1. I'm not saying its all our fault… I'm saying we have the power to change this.

        We are what motivate them.

        Women like shiny things – Men try to have as many shiny things as they can

        Women like guys with cars – Men try to have the cars that will impress

        Women like bad boys – Men act out

        what if we changed this to…

        Women dont like guys who have reputations – Men stop being h0es

        1. In that vein, men have the power to change things.

          Men* like sex and will tell you that having sex on the first date doesn't change their opinion of you – Women sleep with men on the first date

          A lot of men like to cheat – women let men repeatedly cheat because they believe it's normal behavior.

          Ect., and so forth. I don't have time to write all this out

          It's a vicious cycle. The point is, at what point does the gender (or individuals) stop blaming their behavior on the other gender? "Well, you let men get away with it." "Well, we only do it because you calls us teases/prudes if we don't". It's just time to take responsbility and make decisions because they are right for you, not because they'll get the attention of the opposite sex.

        2. <blockquote cite="comment-294855">

          sanen85:

          In that vein, men have the power to change things.

          Men* like sex and will tell you that having sex on the first date doesn’t change their opinion of you – Women sleep with men on the first date

          A lot of men like to cheat – women let men repeatedly cheat because they believe it’s normal behavior.

          Ect., and so forth. I don’t have time to write all this out

          It’s a vicious cycle. The point is, at what point does the gender (or individuals) stop blaming their behavior on the other gender? “Well, you let men get away with it.” “Well, we only do it because you calls us teases/prudes if we don’t”. It’s just time to take responsibility and make decisions because they are right for you, not because they’ll get the attention of the opposite sex.

          Yesssssssssssssss!!! http://youtu.be/Jcd63Ev7JXA

      2. SaneN85

        It shouldn't fall on the women at all, but when women want rights, it is only natural for them to be charged with responsibilities…

        Again as (black) men, we cannot check our (black) women… So, yes it is up to the women to uphold the standard… Which so far, y'all have FAILED miserably thus far…

        Like NIA, the book has still yet to be written

  18. <blockquote cite="comment-294489">

    TWIsM81: I’m tempted to pop some popcorn. This has some potential to light the comments section up. I have a overwhelming suspicion the Dr. J held back on this post. I’m not Goku, #imjustsayin

    I agree … I wish and enjoy when he goes ALLLLL the way in.

  19. I don't understand how men make a big deal about how many guys a woman has slept with but still expect there to be women available for them to sleep with.

    How does that go?

    1. I have never understood this 'guy logic'.

      You want a woman to be close to a virgin yet you want to beat fairly early and then you do not really want a relationship until you're older and ready.

      By the time you are ready most women will have gone through this and be considered birds. Who knows… maybe you will be the lucky one that meets a woman who stayed in her tower waiting patiently for her prince to decide he was ready.

      (throws hands up) *sigh*

      1. Yes, girl.

        The other day, a dude on twitter asked why can't he meet a woman who has slept with only two guys. Knowing full well he's slept with dozens of women. O_O

        1. Ask a guy if he wants a virgin he'll say no because he doesn't want the attachment that some virgins have to those who they lost their virginity to. But he does want the woman to be able to do some of the things that he's seen done in p*rn.. Its confusing.. its this whole Madonna/Whore complex that have some men torn. You want her to be semi-virginal but yet do tricks that turn your a$$ out.. and if you want those tricks it comes with experience.. no woman is made knowing how to backflip, split, gyrate, and then suck the protein from you, from her birth. It takes experience to do that.. not saying it will be from a multitude of men but it will be more than just 1. The frame of mind needs to change… is that too much to ask??

  20. “They say you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife, well I know plenty of married hoes.” Love this! I know a lot of “Wifed up” hoes. These are the same “hoes” who always end up making the guy fall in love with their vagina personality and now are all of a sudden in a relationship. I will never understand this one. I mean I can’t even be mad.. Hoes need love too..

  21. I'm human like everybody else up in here and can be quick to judge. Then I remember that these birds (explainable or otherwise) are also human beings. Human beings who have likely had experiences that led them to where they are. Everyone deserves to be loved and to find love, and if they change I don't see why they aren't wifey material.

    In fact, I'll go so far as to say that those who say they'd never wife someone who had a well-known history back in college (even if he was madly in love with her) is a coward. This isn't about what she did or didn't do, it's about how you'll appear to your boys.

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-294819">

      sanen85:

      In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that those who say they’d never wife someone who had a well-known history back in college (even if he was madly in love with her) is a coward. This isn’t about what she did or didn’t do, it’s about how you’ll appear to your boys.

      Ehhhh, not so much. It's often a matter of headache. If a man has constantly defend why he's with a woman, one of two things will happen: 1) He'll eventually wonder what the hell he is doing with her or 2) He'll get tired of having to defend his choice to his family and/or friends and have to cut something from the equation. Often times, it'll be her.

      #justathought Now I'm gonna fade back to the background.

      1. If your family and friends have any couth they'll mention their trepidation about her and then accept that you love her and leave it alone*. I got non-stop harassment about the white man I married, while I can't get rid of my uncouth family, the friends that lasted were the ones who let that ish go. If you love someone, they're worth the looks and having to defend them. Also, at some point you should just stop defending it and let them know it just is and nothing they say/do is gonna change it.

        *For instance, I don't constantly lecture my sister on her silly ass relationship. I let her know that I love her and support whatever decisions she makes, even if that is marriage. She knows how I feel about the situation, but I didn't go further to harass her about it.

        1. I don't think you women know what we talking about here…

          We not talking about that shorty we know been out there and done had a handful or more of partners… we talking about:

          1) You used to wop down dudes to the point where people just resulted to JPYDO strategies
          2) You let dudes run triz, and wasn't upset with yourself, even chilled with them after that
          3) Your vag had no type of rules for entry. There was no dress code, cover charge, even time that you had to be in the joint, basically it was c*m as you are.
          4) You got a video on the internet and the dude in the video is wack, or it's more than one dude in that video
          5) You got a nickname that's unbecoming, like, "coach" because you used to teach all the dudes on the team
          6) If nobody in your network respects you, like even if they say, "She's really a nice person though", if no one will vouch for respecting you, your vag has expired, please return to the source for deletion.

      2. I love you girl, but this is mainly to other people. I'd like to present a question.

        How many women would let a registered s*x offender live in their home?

        People can change. No one should have to be a slave to their mistakes. (Plug, plug, like C. Brown is always going to be a woman beater forever, right?) But what about that dude … you'll never let him live in your house because you won't trust them. Everybody has put themselves in a compromising position before, but it's a lot different when you make a habit of putting yourself in compromising positions. Like I always say, "I've had my Prostitute Flange" and I had feelings for that girl, wasn't going to wife her down. She could have been my #1, but she was never going to get that title. Oh yeah… she married now. Ain't that a b.

        1. eh… I get where you're going and I see your point but I think this example is a little dramatic.

          Can you really compare a girl who has had sex with a lot of guys to a child molester?

          Like I said, I get where you're going… I just think its apples and oranges. Can't really compare…

  22. <blockquote cite="comment-294842">

    RC Turi:

    Yes, girl.

    The other day, a dude on twitter asked why can’t he meet a woman who has slept with only two guys. Knowing full well he’s slept with dozens of women. O_O

    That right there makes NO kinda sense.. none what so ever.. was he being serious with this? Who in their left mind really thinks this way??

    1. Yes, he was SO serious. He always talks about women aren't traditional anymore. But thinks it's perfectly okay for a woman he's just met to come to his house.

      Oh ok.

  23. <blockquote cite="comment-294806">

    Dr. J:

    You read that link and didn’t read the article didn’t you?

    #gotem

    so just because you write it, it's law? lol. her list is how she lives her life (or desires to), so just because you declare that men can't be hoes, she's not supposed to hold men accountable for their past?

    1. The article wasn't about that though… that's why you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. Next time you want to have a smart response too, I would encourage you to read the article. The link was shortened to save space.

    2. Thank you ummm, I addressed practitioner J above. God knows he goes off on tangents on everyone’s posts so I did too. #BPdoeswhatshewants

  24. This is an excellent point, most woman that men run though, are what "we" refer to as "half a wing". (Make a direct connection to a whole chicken, only half the wing won't fill a man up, some men like the breast I'm a thigh man in paticular. Men need a larger portion of food in order to feel full). A "half a wing" is a good woman, that will go to great lengths (& depths) to please her mate but will never get that sole individual attention/affection she gives to him. From a mans prospective she is a good chick but she doesn't have "it" & that "it" can be explained by not having "enough" for that man to remain monogomous, when he leaves her, he is still hungry for more. In turn the "half a wing" chicks are not wifey material but are far from "birds".

    That may or may not help someone but it makes sense to me and my friends
    <blockquote cite="comment-294722">

    Dr. J:
    The reason why people don’t explain wifey material is because they don’t want to hurt people’s feelings, but in gist, i’ll address this really quick.

    1) Wifey material is almost like trying to describe what “it” is.A man will say the reason why he doesn’t like her, or isn’t attracted to her, or doesn’t want to wife her down is because she doesn’t have “it.”Ask him to describe “it” and it’s almost impossible to explain.There are similar things like this in our society.

    2) Every woman falls on a scale of preferrability.Rank all the women you know in terms of the ones you think will make perfect mates.It’s not about all who qualify, it’s about ranking all the available options.When you rank that list, the upper echelon of that list is wifey material.All of the women on that list have a chance at getting married, but those at the top of that list are wifey material.Now… women be careful, no one asked you to rank all the women you know.It’s about how men rank women.

    2b) There are sometimes when your boy gets married and the whole crew says, “damn son.”There are sometimes when you find out a chick is engaged or married and the whole crew says, “Word!Damn, man I missed out on that!”In the last month, I know three chicks who got married or engaged… of the three here were the reactions:

    (1) I mean, she basically just stayed with dude long enough that he decided to put a ring on it.
    (2) Yeah I saw that on Facebook, damn yo… she was tough.She always had a man though.
    (3) I HAD BEEN TELLING DUDES that she was available but no one wanted to step up, so this noodle just stepped in and now we sitting here staring at honeymoon pictures.

    Smarten up people, there’s an obvious difference, you either don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or you just willing to wife/smash anything.

    1. Love this!! At my age this happens on a monthly basis! People are getting married left and right. If you see someone with potential, GO 4 it! Or youll end up looking at honeymoon pix w/ everyone else, talking about shoulda, coulda, woulda.

  25. We all judge. But it is how you process that information that reveals your moral compass.

    What you do based on that information.

    If I know you used to be a prostitute…..OK……how will I treat you based on that information?

    Do I lable you a bird unworthy of respect…..Or do I treat with same love I would if you were never a prostitute.

    Cultivate Equinimity.

    (Comment was supposed to be further up.)

    1. You not on point as you usually are today fam. You judging all types of crazy in your comments today and then saying you hate people who judge. Now you hate the way people judge, because the way you judge is somehow superior.

      The reason why I love a conversation about this is because I believe that we are all judgmental. You have to know what's best for you and the only way to determine that is through examination. You said, take a person for who they are, not what they are, but again, how do you know who a person is without careful examination?

      I think you got rubbed the wrong way, pause, by something in the post or the earlier comments and you just a tad salty today bro.

      1. I have ears, eyes, sense of smell, touch and perception. To some this would seem enough

        to make a judgement. But my perceptual filter includes humility, empathy, compassion and equinimity to guide my thoughts and actions.

        I'm not mad or salty about nothin you said. I just point out ish I see. Take it how you take it.

        You might wanna Google equinimity. It's not exactly a word people use everyday on Twitter. LOL

    2. This sounds good in theory but it is very unrealistic. So if I told you I was a former prositute with a drug addiction and I served a 10 year prison sentence for killing my husband but I'm saved now and a good person…you wouldn't judge me if I seemed nice? GTFOH.

      You sound really defensive today. It's okay to love da h0es. Do you. Anything society deems unconventional will get judged. If I catch you in a strip club making it rain on a stripper, I'm judging you…even if I'm standing next to you with a stack of ones in my hand as well. That's life. We're supposed to examine others and form opinions. It's how our minds work.

      You judge me by my comments all the time. Negro please.

  26. A few tidbits of information that people don't quite know about this Wiz and Amber situation that may make you think about a few things…

    1) Amber and Wiz slept together before Black & Yellow came out. Really weird, right? Name a Wiz song before Black and Yellow.

    2) Wiz just hollered at her. He literally just went up to her and was like, "What's really good?"

    3) He's from Pittsburgh and she's from South Philly. Are you not seeing that they might have something in common? I know some great women from Pittsburgh, but on the really for real tip, could you see why a bird from Philly and a dude from Pittsburgh might be the perfect match?

    Back to the original point though, read the beginning of the post again if you want to know what I was calling a bird.

    Amber Rose is a bird.. and it ain't got nothing to do with how many people she slept with.

    Karrine Steffans is a bird… and it got a lot to do with the way she came about in the game. (But peep game, she just had a restraining order put on Darius McCray… THAT'S the type of person who marries/wifes down a bird, a crazy one.)

    Lady is a bird… although it be yankin, and she f*** better when she dranking, there is no explanation for this, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvN9YwiveXc

    And I don't know one person she has slept with, but I know one thing, she's a bird.

    1. Now, normally, I don't click on these links…but, I did….and, ummmm…yeah, "lady"..is that her name? Yeah, she is quite something…and yes…bird comes to mind…a crow, specifically..maybe, a pigeon….

  27. There once was a bird and a fish

    And they fell in love.

    Impossible you would think that

    the two most unlikely creatures

    could ever meet

    Than ever fall in love.

    They did though,

    they loved being near

    each other though the question that

    Will always be asked..

    Where will they live?

    The answer though it is simple

    Who cares?

    For they love each other that is all that matters

    For a bird can never love a fish

    Without being loved back.

  28. You know, I spent most of my younger years thinking the double-standard issue when it comes to male/female behaviors was completely unfair. Now as an older young woman, I have accepted this whole "thats just the way it is" mentality and have tried to live up to my part to become someone who carries myself in a socially acceptable ideal of what a woman is. This post however has made me analyze double standards again, and you know what…it really is NOT fair.

    Any student of psychology would be familiar with the term "Women are sicker, but Men die quicker". Meaning that women are more apt to develop mental disorders, while men are more likely to engage physically self-destructive activities. The point that Im trying to make is that these mental disorders and disturbances are largely due to mans influence on woman. Who determined "feminine behavior" and agents of socialization that would mold the way a woman thinks, responds, acts? It wasnt a woman…It was a man. No woman has ever had much of a say of the stigmas of her on sex. From the way we dress,(btw girdles were invented by a man Paul Poiret) to the way we are told to behave…it has all been left up to a mans discretion

    Yes I do know this is a "Man's world", but when you have men who dont have the capacity to be good leaders, and lead effectively, that is when you end up with social issues.

    Think about a girl who engages in carries herself as a bird. People generally dont just NOT have any regard for themselves and for their bodies. 99.9% of the time there are deeper issues hidden underneath behavior you see on the outside surface. Maybe she engages in ratchet "bird" behavior because whe does not value herself…..Ok but why doesn't she value herself? Probably because she could be the product of a single mother household who did not grow up with a father figure. Maybe she is running from man to man to fill the void a that she didnt get from her father. Why isnt her dad around? More than likely her Mom was out there fooling because no one taught her better (people always seem to not want to believe their parents had a past) and maybe her dad just wasnt taught to value the family structure.

    Even with there being deeper reasons behind peoples actions, until women have a say in the social norms and what it means to be a woman, there will always be 1) a stifling of women as individuals 2) women who develop issues because they cannot fit into the mold of what characterizes a woman and 3) women who rebel against what society dictates they should be when they have no say in it!

    I mean people dont really expect men to act as "men" these days. More and more women have to take on the responsibilities of men, and I think that it should come with certain liberties and freedoms, like the ability to redefine womanhood.

    My professor is straing me down (LOL) so to conclude, I want to make known that Im NOT a feminist, just an idealist. I for one have no issue adhering to traditional womanly roles, I will continue to follow these social norms and accept that I cant wile out just because I may have the urge to every now and then…but dammit Not everyone is the same way. And those who want to should be free to define themselves, doesnt mean you have to agree

  29. <blockquote cite="comment-294873">

    Dmann: This is an excellent point, most woman that men run though, are what “we” refer to as “half a wing”. (Make a direct connection to a whole chicken, only half the wing won’t fill a man up, some men like the breast I’m a thigh man in paticular. Men need a larger portion of food in order to feel full). A “half a wing” is a good woman, that will go to great lengths (& depths) to please her mate but will never get that sole individual attention/affection she gives to him. From a mans prospective she is a good chick but she doesn’t have “it” & that “it” can be explained by not having “enough” for that man to remain monogomous, when he leaves her, he is still hungry for more. In turn the “half a wing” chicks are not wifey material but are far from “birds”.That may or may not help someone but it makes sense to me and my friends

    Sigh… seriously???

    So you have a good woman who wants to please you, she's a sweet girl gets along with your mama, wants to be there for you, help you grow, but she's still not enough… because she doesn't have "it" ??? Thats not someone that is "wifey material"????

    But then men always want to get on women because we always pass up the nice guys. I don't get it…

    I swear… everyone always wants to focus on how much women don't know what they want. I say men don't know what they want either.

    True story…

    Apparently, I'm southwest airline's inflight therapist because people always want to tell me their business. Anyway, about a year or so ago, an older gentleman around his 50's (well older to me) was sitting next to me on the plane and we started chatting. He started to tell me his life story. Basically… he was an ex NFL player in the 80's. He met his wife, was immediately taken by her and married her 2 months later. He say he knew right away that she was the one for him. I asked him how he knew. He says that she ignored him at first and he liked that, because he was so used to getting the panties thrown at him, given his profession. He also said that he had already done everything you can think of under the sun and she had only slept with 2 people and she was always very timid in the bedroom, which he found endearing at the time. He says he admired that about her because it made her seem innocent… like he got a really good catch.

    Fastfoward about 30 years later… he's miserable in his marriage. I ask him why. He says he's a very sexual person and she never wants to be intimate with him because she's not. I said "Well… you knew she was like that before you married her. Why are you mad now?" He says he thought he would be able to turn her out. I told him if having a wild sex life was that important to him, he should have wifed one of the chicks that he was running around with back in the 80's.

    I swear… people are just full of contridictions. Notice I said PEOPLE… because its not just women. Yall have "man logic" just like you claim we have "chick logic"….

    1. Hah! Thats how guys outsmart themselves. They get the girl that has only had one partner and think its because she is a good girl only to later find out she doesnt want to be smanged. Hey… At least his family will not talk sh*t about her.

      1. <blockquote cite="comment-294975">

        Kema: They get the girl that has only had one partner and think its because she is a good girl only to later find out she doesnt want to be smanged.

        Exactly! Makes NO sense to me…

  30. I never knew "birds" referred to sexually ratchet women. I don't think a person's sexual history makes them a bird. To me it's the level of drama they embed themselves and the people around them that makes women birds.

    There's a chicken-head and then there's a bird. A chicken-head is the neighborhood/crew slore. A bird is not that.

    Birds sit there chirping ALL the time… Just her and the other birds that flock with her.

  31. Just reading some of the comments by females……So you can be a hwore as long as you are a discreet hwore?

    1. Its not just the female comments… By what the men say as long as his homeboys dont know anything about his girl ho-tivities nothing really matters. So basically its all perception and not actions.

      1. "So basically its all perception and not actions."

        Thats what I'm saying. And some of the men are co signing on that too…

      2. I really wish I was off today and could have been a bigger part of the discussion. Is it all about perception. No, not really. Basically it boils down to simple economics. One of the main reasons there is a sexual double standard between men and women is this: Women determine whether sex takes place. A man has to work for sex, a women has to decide to have sex. Period. (Read that again if you like.)

        Therefore, if a man is able to [legally] get it in, and do it often, he is often applauded. On the flipside, if a woman openly and freely gives it away, she floods the market. In terms of economics, she is causing coital inflation. When access to a good or service increases to more and more people, its value decreases. You may have heard the term "cheap" before.

        Am I arguing that it's right? No. But there it is. So it isn't perception, it's action (and thus the consequences of those actions that cause strife.) If a woman is caught out there bad, she will get judged for it. The trend is coming around for cheating men. In the past couple years, we've seen the fall of Tiger Woods and Jesse James (Sandra Bullock's ex). Not to mention the treatment of men who are accused of (yet never convicted of) rape. Their reputations are tarnished regardless. I don't hear too many women sounding the call of justice for these men. #ShrugLife

  32. <blockquote cite="comment-294993">

    il Duce the Grand Nagus, Master of the Rules of Acquisition: Just reading some of the comments by females……So you can be a hwore as long as you are a discreet hwore?

    Yeah… basically thats what I'm deducing…

    But I always thought being a hoe had more to do with perception than reality anyway. Like I said, I know plenty of classy, educated women that like to get it in, but men don't look at them as hoes. I guess it has more to do with how you carry yourself.

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-295000">

      Therelucantsocialte: Yeah… basically thats what I’m deducing…But I always thought being a hoe had more to do with perception than reality anyway. Like I said, I know plenty of classy, educated women that like to get it in, but men don’t look at them as hoes. I guess it has more to do with how you carry yourself.

      It is at this point in the night when you turn around a man is dressed nicely in a three piece suit. His name tag says, General Manager, Club SBM. There is a big dude standing behind him in a black tee shirt with batting gloves on. The GM politely says, "I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Your night is over."

      GTFOHWTBS.

      1. Uh… excuse me, but your whole post was about the perception of being a hoe. Now your going back on that?

        Isn't suspecting that someone might be a hoe but giving her a "pass" because you have no concrete proof all about your perception of the situation???

        This is what YOU said upthread: "Amber Rose is not a bird because of who she’s slept with but because of her character."

        Is that not about perception????

        I've always thought being a hoe had more to do with perception than reality, because I know PLENTY of "classy" women that engage in hoeish activities, yet never get publicly labeled as a hoe…

        so… I'm confused. What are YOU talking about?

        1. 1) The post was about birds, not hoes.

          2) Please restate your question in an understandable format.

          3) No, that's a fact. She's not considered a bird because we know that she's slept with anyone, it's because we think she's a hoodrat.

          4) This post was about birds.

          Just as a brief comment as we escort you out, "Just because you jump off, doesn't make you a jumpoff." I also understand that some women aren't able to understand this because they see things black or white. That's okay, we've touched on that before here. It's not that simple.

          PS – Any woman who refers to herself as "classy" is typically not. This is proven by a popular go-go song.

    2. I don't want to kill this issue because I like debate but I just wanna drop my .02 cents since I'm feeling myself today. Sorry, blame the coffee. 🙂

      I haven't slept with many men. As a matter of fact, I slept with the same guy for 10 years. But guess what? I'm a nasty, dirty, perverted, disgusting, trashy, trampy @ss h0e. It was never a problem in my relationship. Why? Cause men love h0es…especially negroes. It's not about being a h0e. It's the other sh*t. Can he take you out in public? Bring you around his fam? Can he trust you? Can you have his kids? Can you keep the house? Can he communicate with you? yada yada yada. It's the difference between a woman like Amber Rose and a woman like Gabrielle Union. Gabrielle could have slept with more men than Amber x2, Gabby could be a major h0e. However Gabrielle carries herself like a lady and acts like a woman. She's wife material despite her past…and I'm sure Dwayne knows about her past. .

      1. "Cause men love h0es…especially negroes. It’s not about being a h0e. It’s the other sh*t. Can he take you out in public? Bring you around his fam? Can he trust you? Can you have his kids? Can you keep the house? Can he communicate with you? yada yada yada. It’s the difference between a woman like Amber Rose and a woman like Gabrielle Union. Gabrielle could have slept with more men than Amber x2, Gabby could be a major h0e. However Gabrielle carries herself like a lady and acts like a woman. She’s wife material despite her past…and I’m sure Dwayne knows about her past. "

        Exactly! Perception is not always reality! Its all about what you're willing to look past and what else comes along with the package…

  33. <blockquote cite="comment-294913">

    Dr. J: Karrine Steffans is a bird… and it got a lot to do with the way she came about in the game. (But peep game, she just had a restraining order put on Darius McCray… THAT’S the type of person who marries/wifes down a bird, a crazy one.)

    Honestly, I'd side with lil Eddie Winslow on this one. Karrine Steffans is by trade a professional attention gardening tool. She lied on Kool G Rap and literally got busted on a radio interview by Ma Barker [new Mrs. G Rap], after sucking off countless industry heads [see what I did there] she openly denounced everyone in the hip-hop game when she thought she was dating Bill Maher, she threw Bobby Brown, Shaq and Ice-T under the bus when they were the only ones helping her out financially…. I could go on, but you get the picture. Crazy? Maybe/Maybe Not. Crazy for marrying a hoe? Oh most def…..

    1. I was like Eddie what are you trying to say…

      All I said was Karrine is a bird.

      And my point was crazying for marrying a hoe. Which you agree on.

  34. "time will bring the real end of our trial, one day they'll be no reminiscence, no trace, no residual feeling within you, one day you won't remember me" Pretty Wings by Maxwell
    Shouts to all the birds…this is your season but far more shouts to all the bird catchers, 'tis the season…
    So what is a bird? I can't define this. I'm lost in translation, there are so many variables and variations but I do follow Dr. Jay's logical explanation. Shit is bias in that there is a double standard but we as women need to accept and expect this, then move on. I'm more intrigued by the bird catcher and bird hunters. These are people who for the most part know what they're doing and is generally cool with it from late March to late September. I'm not even making it a man woman thing because I know some lesbian bird catcher and hunters too.

  35. <blockquote cite="comment-295038">

    Dr. J: 1) The post was about birds, not hoes.2) Please restate your question in an understandable format.3) No, that’s a fact. She’s not considered a bird because we know that she’s slept with anyone, it’s because we think she’s a hoodrat.4) This post was about birds.Just as a brief comment as we escort you out, “Just because you jump off, doesn’t make you a jumpoff.” I also understand that some women aren’t able to understand this because they see things black or white. That’s okay, we’ve touched on that before here. It’s not that simple.PS – Any woman who refers to herself as “classy” is typically not. This is proven by a popular go-go song.

    Saying "what are you talking about?" should be understandable to you, but if its not, then I don't know how to help you out.

    Anyway… so confused. All these labels and now, because of this explanation, none of them make sense to me. So a bird can be a hoe but doesn't always have to be one. A hoe doesn't have to be a bird but can be both, depending on the situation, and just because you jump doensn't make you a jump off. Hmmmm….

    And… I didn't say that the woman refers to herself as classy. You said that.

      1. *sigh*

        No…

        Not necessarily because I'm tired of arguing with you. Its just that I don't understand what a bird is anymore…

        1. <blockquote cite="comment-295071">

          Therelucantsocialte: *sigh*No…Not necessarily because I’m tired of arguing with you. Its just that I don’t understand what a bird is anymore…

          Funny, because I remember hearing my friend (male) refer to a chick "A Bird" because she smokes weed — no mentioning if she slept around alot just off the fact that he knows she smokes weed she earned the title "Bird" o__O. I was baffled for a minute but everyone (well I should say man) has his own interpretation of what a bird is. *SuchIsLife*

  36. Hear ye, hear ye. Order in the motherlovin court! All of you are talking about a bunch of different things and there's seems to be at least 3 separate debates going on and getting confused with others.

    All I know is that whether you were a bird, a downright nasty skank, or the classiest woman since Michelle Obama you still deserve a shot at love.

    As for J's question about letting a sex offender in your home, 99% of the time that'd be a "hell to the naw". If I've known that person all my life and believe with every fiber of my being that the case was a case of some random girl crying rape, then maybe. Still, even though it's 100% natural to judge, it speaks to the kind of person you are if you make no attempt to see past those initial judgements. If you do look past those initial judgements and find that the person hasn't changed or presents some sort of physical/financial threat, then you are more than justified in those feelings. There's a difference between looking past judgements and being fundamentally stupid. Either way, a sex offender (or murdering prostitute) is far from a girl whose p*ssy has seen more sticks than a Hot Dog On A Stick employee.

    Everyone has a story, and while it's well documented that I don't believe that excuses their behavior, it makes it easier to understand them. A woman who was sexually abused as a child obviously doesn't view sex in the same way others do and may not value/respect her body the way she should. It doesn't make her a bad person. So, if later on in life she finds it within herself to gain that self-respect and starts treating her body as a temple AND she's got all of those qualities that make her your dream woman, if you'd pass her up that makes you a dum dum.

    1. Well said.

      If you gonna hold some ish that you heard through the college grapevine over somebody head for the rest of your life you should go head and give up on that Jesus stuff. You really waistin your time. LOL

        1. I'm not even a religous dude. But it's just always funny to me when people say and do things that contradict the most fundamental, easily understood, not subject to debate Christian concepts.

          Your man is hangin Scarlett letters on chicks for one night stands in 94'. LOL C'mon son. It's palm Sunday. ROFL. Can a [email protected] get some forgiveness.

  37. <blockquote cite="comment-294836">

    Kema:

    I’m not saying its all our fault…I’m saying we have the power to change this.

    We are what motivate them.

    Women like shiny things – Men try to have as many shiny things as they can

    Women like guys with cars – Men try to have the cars that will impress

    Women like bad boys – Men act out

    what if we changed this to…

    Women dont like guys who have reputations – Men stop being h0es

    I agree completely. When women raise their standards, men will have no choice but to fall in line. But in order for that to ever be a reality, ALL WOMEN have to raise their standards. The only reason (rather, the biggest reason) guys get away with the crap they do is because they know that for every chick that isn't willing to do/put up with XYZ behavior, there's 5 other thirsty b!+ches waiting in the wings that will.

    But its a competitive market out there. Women outnumber men and women are constantly in competition wit the next chick, whether its warranted or not. So will we ever see the day where women will come together for the greater good? maybe, maybe not. Until then I say do your own thing, set your own standards and be the person you wanna find- don't be a nickel out there looking for a dime!

    Same goes for men to!

    1. "Until then I say do your own thing, set your own standards and be the person you wanna find"

      This is it right here. Ultimately we just need to do what we feel comfortable with and be who we are. At the end of the day, women are going to be labeled one way or another, which is really annoying… but it is what it is. Its easier to deal with if your happy with who you are and the decisions that you're making.

  38. <blockquote cite="comment-295016">

    Dr. J: I was like Eddie what are you trying to say…All I said was Karrine is a bird.And my point was crazying for marrying a hoe. Which you agree on.

    LOL! I was just running to his defense. A crazy chick can make even the dude with the best intentions look stupid. :0]

  39. <blockquote cite="comment-295052">

    SmartFoxGirl: I don’t want to kill this issue because I like debate but I just wanna drop my .02 cents since I’m feeling myself today. Sorry, blame the coffee. I haven’t slept with many men. As a matter of fact, I slept with the same guy for 10 years. But guess what? I’m a nasty, dirty, perverted, disgusting, trashy, trampy @ss h0e. It was never a problem in my relationship. Why? Cause men love h0es…especially negroes. It’s not about being a h0e. It’s the other sh*t. Can he take you out in public? Bring you around his fam? Can he trust you? Can you have his kids? Can you keep the house? Can he communicate with you? yada yada yada. It’s the difference between a woman like Amber Rose and a woman like Gabrielle Union. Gabrielle could have slept with more men than Amber x2, Gabby could be a major h0e. However Gabrielle carries herself like a lady and acts like a woman. She’s wife material despite her past…and I’m sure Dwayne knows about her past. .

    Can we please have a special guest episode where SFG tells us about her trashy, trampy past? Or better yet, just email it to me?

    kthxbai

    1. I believe SFG is capable of many things, even FLYING…

      But she is not BAWSE enough to share those kind of intimate details…

      I just want to know if she sent you the e-mail though… I can make up the rest…

  40. Very interesting comments today. It all brought me to the thought of "Things you can't tell just by looking at her" If you don't put on the "h0's" uniform nobody will really know your a h0.

  41. <blockquote cite="comment-295084">

    sanen85:

    So, if later on in life she finds it within herself to gain that self-respect and starts treating her body as a temple AND she’s got all of those qualities that make her your dream woman, if you’d pass her up that makes you a dum dum.

    Yup!

  42. simple.PS – Any woman who refers to herself as “classy” is typically not. This is proven by a popular go-go song.

    SO TRUE. class is how other describe you. If you must say your something that must mean there isn't any proof to confirm

  43. While I appreciate the debate, analysis, religion, and clever insults, I think that the issue is rather simply. Why? because it was clearly stated: explainable vs inexcuseable birds. I must say that I was greatly annoyed by the definitions but I appreciate the knowing the thought process and how I could potentially percieved. Let me preface my next thought with this: I learned a long time ago that when men speak, just shut up and listen. You might learn something. Not that we as women shouldn't challenge their opinions, perceptions and the like. But if you want to know what they think, just be quiet, listen to what they say, and watch what they do. I've learned to take men at their word. Period. You'll lose less sleep being confused about them. Now, here's my thought: You can debate the "bird" issue with any -ology and vernacular you'd like but be clear, it is what it is. Like it or not. True confession: I got all feathered up several years ago and just as was said before, now, I steer clear of anyone who can connect me to my chirpy past. Now, I am not quite certain of who has actually had "the talk" about me but I am almost certain that it has been had. I was pretty sure that I was discreet because I kept my mouth shut. Yet, I had a little bit of a problem with discernment which pretty much cancels out the discretion. Tsk Tsk. While I am very clear about my motivation to leave the metaphoric nest, it doesn't change the amount of nectar on which I sipped. In the moment, it was fun, exciting and rationalized. Years later, when that moment had long since passed, I had the other moment: The "WTF was I thinking!?!?!" moment. Now, don't get me wrong, I still find pleasure in reminiscing about those experiences but "if only I had…". There was a time when I condemned myself and chose to "fly south for the winter" never to return because of the very thoughts in the post and subsequent comments. I honestly remember thinking to myself, "I guess I better move to another region of the country" out of sheer embarrassment of being seen so beneath who I thought I was. I knew better. True story. Here's the "manning" or "maturing" up that I was able to do: Acknowledging that I can't change what I chose at that time and how it looks to others, then and present day; Understanding that some men(if he is even slightly aware) may decide that I am forever that person and accepting that that's their choice. Finally, deciding to remove my own feathers regardless of those who choose to continue to choke on the quills (if there are any). So, I say all of that to say, I'm doing great. I'm human and that's ok. I do want to end with this though. To be quite honest, I can't say that I would change much about that time in my life. Like I said, it was fun and exciting and I still find pleasure(comedic and arousing) in the memories. Not only that but I learned alot from those experiences. Not just seuxally, either. Now, if I was still flying over the cockoo's nest, we'd have a real problem. Thanks for the post, Doc.

  44. While I appreciate the debate, analysis, religion, and clever insults, I think that the issue is rather simply. Why? because it was clearly stated: explainable vs inexcuseable birds. I must say that I was greatly annoyed by the definitions but I appreciate the knowing the thought process and how I could potentially percieved. Let me preface my next thought with this: I learned a long time ago that when men speak, just shut up and listen. You might learn something. Not that we as women shouldn’t challenge their opinions, perceptions and the like. But if you want to know what they think, just be quiet, listen to what they say, and watch what they do. I’ve learned to take men at their word. Period. You’ll lose less sleep being confused about them. Now, here’s my thought: You can debate the “bird” issue with any -ology and vernacular you’d like but be clear, it is what it is. Like it or not. True confession: I got all feathered up several years ago and just as was said before, now, I steer clear of anyone who can connect me to my chirpy past. Now, I am not quite certain of who has actually had “the talk” about me but I am almost certain that it has been had. I was pretty sure that I was discreet because I kept my mouth shut. Yet, I had a little bit of a problem with discernment which pretty much cancels out the discretion. Tsk Tsk. While I am very clear about my motivation to leave the metaphoric nest, it doesn’t change the amount of nectar on which I sipped. In the moment, it was fun, exciting and rationalized. Years later, when that moment had long since passed, I had the other moment: The “WTF was I thinking!?!?!” moment. Now, don’t get me wrong, I still find pleasure in reminiscing about those experiences but “if only I had…”. There was a time when I condemned myself and chose to “fly south for the winter” never to return because of the very thoughts in the post and subsequent comments. I honestly remember thinking to myself, “I guess I better move to another region of the country” out of sheer embarrassment of being seen so beneath who I thought I was. I knew better. True story. Here’s the “manning” or “maturing” up that I was able to do: Acknowledging that I can’t change what I chose at that time and how it looks to others, then and present day; Understanding that some men(if he is even slightly aware) may decide that I am forever that person and accepting that that’s their choice. Finally, deciding to remove my own feathers regardless of those who choose to continue to choke on the quills (if there are any). So, I say all of that to say, I’m doing great. I’m human and that’s ok. I do want to end with this though. To be quite honest, I can’t say that I would change much about that time in my life. Like I said, it was fun and exciting and I still find pleasure(comedic and arousing) in the memories. Not only that but I learned alot from those experiences. Not just seuxally, either. Now, if I was still flying over the cockoo’s nest, we’d have a real problem. Thanks for the post, Doc.

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