You wear spanx because hiding your gut makes you look good … right?
You put all that weave in your head (which I hate) because it makes you look good … right?
You shave all the hair on your upper lip to look better … right?
But it’s not just looking good … you also want to look younger. You want to be carded to get into the club. You want to mistaken for your daughter’s sister. You want men to think of you as younger than your age too.
You lie about your age so people think you’re younger … right?
You hid your birth year on facebook so people think you are younger … right?
Well, I am here to tell you that every woman reading this right now can make a quick change that will make her more attractive and look younger at the same time. Best thing, it’s a cheap procedure that can be done in one of many ways. It’s quick, it’s easy, and you will look and feel better immediately.
Yes … I’m talking about shaving your p****y!
A long time ago I begged and pleaded with you to shave your va-jay-jay for the betterment of you and all mankind. And yet, the research arm at SingleBlackMale.org has come back with some astounding news. Currently, a shocking 75% of black women are walking around with hair on their private parts (*disclaimer* I pulled that number from so deep up my a$$ I can’t sit down anymore).
After hearing this news I decided to come back to the topic, two years later, just to squash all of the objections I am hearing out in the streets. So start by reading my original post on why you need to shave here … get mad … and then come back and I’ll make you feel me
Finished … aight then.
Objection: It will make me look like a teenager
SBM Response: Bish … ain’t you trying to look younger?!?!
You know why I started off with telling you about all the things
you your girlfriends do to look younger and good … because you spend a lot of time trying to look younger and good. If you have the “sexy” underwear, trust me … this will be a whole lot better than the lacy boy shorts.
Objection: Shaving down there is a lot of work
SBM Response: You already spend 1/3rd of your life trying to look good.
The fact is, if looking good was easy,
you would already have a man then the world would be filled with a bunch of Rosa Acosta’s and there would be no point for relationship advice (every man would be married ASAP). It takes a little work to look good, but this is one of the easiest changes you can make. And I gaurauntee that every man alive will love it! If not everyman … SBM will!
Objection: It itches
SBM Response: Anymore than where your mustache used to be
I shave. It itches. You get used to it. You do it enough, it doesn’t itch. You’re already shaving, tweezing, and plucking … I’m just asking you to add one more area onto the list.
Objection: It’s just not natural. God made me with hair there.
SBM Response: Is that the (hair|eye color|cleavage|lack of uni-brow) that God gave you?
Unless you have hairy legs, hair on your upper lip, and your real hair without any type of moisturizer or chemicals … shut the f* up. And if you do have all of those things, then you have a lot more to work on before joining the Bald Kitty Movement.
So I hope I was able to recruit more followers to the Bald Kitty Movement. The BKM is as important to the health of Black Love as Obama and Michelle staying together forever (I mean really think if they got divorce … it’s officially over for black love).